10/25/21 So, hello there. I, uh, kinda fell off the internet? I did a lot of writing in notebooks, which was kinda been a pain typing up, but I have a few new things to publish. And, holy crap! I checked out my favorites list, and so many stories have updated while I was gone! Some with multiple chapters, and one is now complete! So, after binge writing, I will be binge read. Whoot!
Please enjoy this chapter!
Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece, it belongs to the amazing Eiichiro Oda.
. . .
91
Never let it be said that a day in the New World was peaceful. But, it currently was… stable. Stable was a good word. So, Nami decided to take advantage of the stability and call Nojiko. She hadn't talked to her sister in a few months. It had been a fairly nice conversation, and Nami was enjoying herself.
"Cow!"
Nami paused and looked over at Chopper. He was pointing over the side of the ship. There was, indeed, a cow. It looked like it was caught in some sort of extremely localized tornado.
She gave an aggravated sigh. "I gotta go Nojiko, we have cows."
She hung up with her sister and went out to deal with the New World crap.
Of course the mention of cows brought Luffy rocketing on deck, wanting to get it for dinner. Sanji also came out, because food.
Usopp started jumping up and down, getting excited. "Another cow!"
Sanji squinted at it. "Actually, I think that's the same one."
Luffy was easily able to get the cow, once he stopped jumping around. He also caught two pigs, and seven chickens.
Nami made a note of the event in her navigation journal, stating that the New World was nice sometimes and actually help feed them, so she didn't have to spend so much of her hard-earned money.
. . .
92
Ace was a feral little shit- everyone knew this. Sabo aspired to be a feral little shit. Ace had been raised by bandits, which, honestly, explained a lot about him. Sabo had not been raised in a loving home, but at least he knew what basic human interactions were supposed to look like. He'd seen parents hug their children, people holding hands, and the like. Sabo had never really experienced any sort of positive physical interaction with someone. He decided he wanted to try it sometime, with Ace.
The next time a hunt went really well Sabo wrapped his arms around Ace in a hug.
Ace froze. "What is this?"
Sabo didn't move. "Affection."
Ace frowned. "Disgusting."
Sabo let go.
They stared at each other.
Ace's frown deepened. "Do it again."
Sabo rolled his eyes and hugged Ace again. Ace tentatively hugged back.
Progress.
. . .
93
The Straw Hats were in a bit of a pickle. Franky had gotten himself arrested and the rest of them were strategizing on how to break him out. The cyborg had taken it upon himself to fix a local national treasure. However, the locals were upset that windmill was working again. They arrested him for hearsay, desecration of public property, cruelty to an inanimate object, disturbing the peace, breaking the noise ordinance, public indecency, and excessive posing.
The crew was really impressed with the variety of charges. Robin promised to steal the original arrest warrent so that they could put it on the 'Best Reason(s) for Arrest' board on Sunny.
Franky was slated to receive his sentence in a few hours. Which was apparently to be covered in honey and then be tied to a fire ant hill. Not the weirdest sentence, but not a common one either.
So they were trying to come up with a plan.
Luffy jumped up and yelled "We should do a Panama!"
Zoro frowned. He did not enjoy the last time they'd done a Panama.
Usopp enthusiastically agreed to the Panama plan. He'd loved the last time they'd done it.
Nami frowned at Luffy. "I didn't know you were in Panama."
Usopp grinned. "We weren't in Panama. We were in Nicaragua."
Jinbe raised an eyebrow. "Then why do you call it a Panama?"
"Shishishi, because we thought we were in Panama!"
This caused a lot of yelling and confusion. Robin eventually got them to focus again by pointing out that they should probably rescue Franky at some point.
The Panama Plan went off without a hitch. Zoro had a lot more fun this time around, thanks to Brook. The musician had volunteered to be the Dread Pirate Roberts, itchy robes and all. Luffy and Zoro pushed the cart, while Chopper and Usopp set off the smoke bombs. Nami and Sanji did the actual breaking out, while Robin and Jinbe did some snooping.
After a little terror and a lot less explosions than usual the Straw Hats were on Sunny and Franky officially had the third best reason(s) to be arrest.
. . .
43.1
It was Friday night, which meant it was Game Night, capital letters a must. Sabo had to work, so Nami was filling in for the MMORPG. An hour into their war with Law, Penguin and Shachi Nami was on the warpath. Her stagiary had been ruined and she was furious. She was yelling threats, insults, and cuss words into the headset. Occasionally Penguin would complement her on her creativity.
Then Law pulled another dick move that made Nami growl in frustration "Fuck Law".
"I'm trying!" Luffy wailed. He'd been attempting to break through the other's eastern front for 10 minutes with no luck.
Ace's brain short circuited and went into Overprotective Brother Mode overdrive. He immediately left the apartment to go to Law's. On the way he called Sabo who lost all his common sense and joined Ace.
It took two hours, four concussions, several broken bones and Nami to straighten the whole mess out.
. . .
4.5
Robin was leisurely enjoying her morning, eating breakfast in bed, and reading the news. Then Luffy burst in.
"Robin! Robin! Robin! Usopp found this mystery cave! We're going to go explore! You have to come with us!"
"I don't have any clean clothes-" she was going to finish that sentence with 'appropriate for exploring, let me do laundry first' but Luffy interrupted her by flinging open her closet.
"Yes you do! You have shirts, pants, hello Franky, boots. I'll meet you downstairs!" Then he was gone.
Robin raised an eyebrow at Franky who smiled sheepishly.
"Um, hi. I was going to do Sexy Surprise Time last night, but, um, I got stuck… then fell asleep."
Robin was highly amused. "Would you like help getting out?"
"Yes please."
She helped him out of her closet, and consequently did not join the others with cave exploration.
. . .
94
Cora dropped himself onto a barstool. Tom looked up from his drink with a raised eyebrow. The human and fishman had formed a bond. Both had adopted sons that were half feral. They had a standing weekly appointment to meet, drink, and vent.
"Law got his report card today and academically he did well, but his teacher wrote a note specifying 'he needs to use kind words with his friends.' I asked him about it and he said, 'My friends are dumb and they need to know.'"
He put his head in his hands bemoaning Law's lack of manners.
Tom patted him on the back, pointing out that Law hadn't stabbed anyone, so that was a win.
. . .
95
Marco heard the telling scratches that meant someone was trying to pick the locks to his office. The new locks had held strong for three months against everyone but Hatura. Though, honestly, Marco did not have the time, money, or inclination to get locks that would keep Hatura out. He just wanted to keep all his other insane/annoying/needy siblings out of his office so he could get his work done in peace.
He hoped that the locks would hold out one more time.
He hoped in vain.
After a minute or so Thatch opened the door. "Where is Ace's resume?"
Marco raised an eyebrow. Out of all the stupid things Thatch could have asked after breaking into his office that wasn't anywhere on Marco's list.
Pops made everyone who worked for him turn in a resume. Ace had written one after they'd rescued him from the street (more accurately, mostly abducted the half gremlin child off the streets), but it was a forgone conclusion that he would work for Pops (no matter how many fires he'd started) so no one had really looked at Ace's resume.
"Why?"
Thatch shoved his phone into Marco's face.
Marco pulled back so he could actually see the screen. It was a snapchat from Ace. He was sitting in a car, wearing sunglasses on the side of his face, protecting his eyes from the setting sun. There were two lines of text. The top one said 'Fucking stupid, but it works' and the second one said 'Which, coincidently, is also what my resume says'.
Marco frowned. "Is he doing this while driving?"
Thatch shook his head. "No, he's in the Taco Bell drive through. You can see the car wash in the background and the car behind him ordering."
Marco squinted, then nodded. He stood up and went over to his file cabinet. It took a little bit of digging before Marco pulled out a piece of paper. He looked it over before snorting and handing it to Thatch.
Thatch read it and then laughed. "Well, I'll be damned. That little shit."
The third bullet point under Skills was 'Fucking stupid, but it works'.
. . .
96
Cora hated games night with a passion.
They should be fun, have family bonding, create happy memories. Unfortunately his son and his brother were competitive fuckers who hated losing and loved getting one up on the other. He was particularly dreading tonight. Five weeks in a row they had been playing Monopoly. Cora had been vehemently against it. The last time they had played seven years ago had been a disaster.
But did they listen to him?
Nooooo. He had to suffer!
He had gotten knocked out during week two. For his own sanity he'd said they'd only be allowed to play for three hours a week.
This week one of them would win. It would be a mess.
An hour and fifteen minutes into playing Doffy lands on Law's Park Place, which had four hotels on it. Doffy was now bankrupt. He started at the board in disbelief.
Law smirked.
Cora wait for the other shoe to drop.
Doffy blinked. "Huh, this is a new feeling. Pride in someone else. Unfortunately, it's overshadowed by all this UNYIELDING RAGE!" Doffy screamed and flipped the table, and then started throwing chairs.
Cora grabbed Law and high tailed it out of there. Maybe next time he'd suggest Risk. Maybe they could satisfy their bloodlust that way….
. . .
3.1
It was a quick walk down the hall to the navigation room for Penguin and Jean Bart. Bepo was in there looking at maps.
Penguin was quick to speak up. "Hey, Bepo, do you know why there's a head in the pantry?"
Bepo looked up. "Sorry!" He shook his head. "A head in the pantry? Is it alive?"
Jean Bart nodded.
Bepo thought. "There were two guys who were bothering us at the last port. I thought he left them there in pieces…"
Penguin sighed. "Maybe we should find the rest of him?"
The others agreed that this was a good idea so they split up to look. An hour later they met in the mess hall with various body parts. The head was still screaming. The rag was soaked with spit, so Bepo had put in a second one. The screaming was hurting his ears.
Penguin looked at the pieces. It didn't seem worth it to put the guy together again. "Eh, maybe we should just put him in a boat and let him fend for himself."
Bepo objected to that. "We can't just dump him overboard, that's rude! Sorry!"
"I said we'd put in him a boat!"
"Sorry!"
Jean Bart raised an eyebrow. "Its rude to put someone in a lifeboat in the middle of the sea, but not rude to keep him cut up in pieces?"
Penguin waved him off. "That's just how Captain rolls. You'll get used to it."
Jean Bart was doubtful, but kept his silence.
Shachi walked into the mess hall. "What are you doing with the bounty?"
He got three blank looks. "This guy it worth about 60 million belli. Captain thought that might be a nice payday. He wanted me and Penguin to turn him in at the next port."
Pengiun laughed. "That makes sense! But this guy is definitely annoying. Lets put in him in a trunk."
The head was defiantly swearing as they carried the body parts to a trunk.
. . .
4.6
Brook was wondering the halls of Sunny composing a new song. He was stuck on his current part. He was hoping that the soothing sounds of Sunny would give him inspiration. He was filled with peace, and love for his crew and home, but no inspiration.
Luffy came flying around the corner and slammed into him. The two landed in a heap on the floor.
"Brook!"
"Yohoho! Hello Luffy!"
"Nami says we're coming up on an island! C'mon, let's get ready to explore!"
"Luffy, I don't exploration clothes-" Brook was unable to finish his sentence before Luffy grabbed him and was dragging him off to the boy's room.
Luffy stopped in front of Brook's closet, which was also the largest due to all his fabulous clothes. "Yes you do! You have boots, shirts, pants, hi Zoro, boas, and hats! I'll meet you on deck!"
Brook stared at the sleeping swordsman. He didn't seem discomforted by the awkward position. However… Brook listened to his breathing, the tempo and rhythm…
Yes, there was in inspiration! Brook settled in to finish composition.
. . .
97
Sanji and Nami were having a nice conversation about personal hygiene, and what products they liked best. Zoro walked into the room as Sanji was speaking, so he happened to glance at the green haired man even though he was speaking to Nami.
"Make your own foot scrub."
Zoro glared daggers at Sanji. "One, feet are pretty hard to make. Two, don't ever call me a scrub again." He then stormed out of the room.
Sanji and Nami stared at the doorway before Nami burst out laughing. Sanji was too confused to be mad at Zoro. Once Nami stopped laughing she introduced him to a great song from the 90's.
. . .
98
Once again the Heart and Straw Hat pirates were meeting up for a party. If by 'meeting up' one meant the Hearts were relaxing on a small island and the Straw Hats ambushed them for a party. It had been going on for hours and Law was starting to get cranky. He had been forced to listen to insane conversations between some of the Straw Hats. They were so loud and giving him a headache with their stupid chatter!
He decided to complain to Bepo. "The listening comprehension and overall common sense in that crew is piss poor."
Usopp turned to face Law, outraged. "How dare you say we piss on the poor!"
Law glared at him and stormed away, muttering on his breath.
. . .
91 Twister 92 Tumblr? 93 Sahara & Princess Bride 94 Twitter 95 the snap Ace sent was exactly like one I got from a friend 96 Dragonball Z Abridged Ep 51 suggested by the amazing Black' Victor Cachat 97 Tumblr post 98 Tumblr post