Alex:Hello and welcome to chapter 5! BEFORE YOU READ please be aware that there are dark elements in this chapter as we delve into Mari's death. It is not explicitly explained but I hint and imply at many things so please be forewarned before you start the chapter.

Enjoy.

XxxXxx

Chapter 5: Rachel Mors

"Here you go." Setting down the cup of espresso before Reborn Mari takes a seat across from him at the kitchen table. A cup of tea was in her grasp though she made no move to drink it just yet. The warmth of the cup felt soothing against her freezing hands as she gripped the mug tightly. Her knuckles were white from the vice-like grip. This conversation was something she wasn't looking forward to but knew it needed to be had.

Many minutes go by as silence permeates the room. The only true sound that could be heard was the ticking of the grandfather clock out in the hall. It puts Mari on edge as she leans back in her seat, a harsh breathy sigh escapes her throat. Reborn watches her closely but says nothing as he sips the beverage she offered him.

Where do I begin?

Beginnings are often the best places to start or so she had been told. But what was often not said was that beginnings were also hard. It was challenging to formulate the proper words, to convey the story you wished to tell. Many things could go wrong; many questions could be asked. Should I start here or say that? Do I charge in guns blazing or merely start with a whisper of a sound?

It was all mind boggling. Mari wanted to scream, maybe she would.

Relaxing her grip on her mug, her shoulders slump. Pointer finger tracing the rim of her cup Mari avoided Reborn's intense gaze as best she could as he stared deep into her soul. Or at least that's what it felt like he was doing. Sometimes he gave very intense facial expressions. It was all about the eyes.

"Do you believe in reincarnation?" she questions breaking the maddening silence. Mari was surprised her voice didn't crack or sound frail as she finally spoke. Perhaps she was being brave? Either way she didn't let Reborn answer her question as she continued. "There are many strange things in this world so I doubt reincarnation is such a bizarre affair. I mean there's dying will flames, crazy mafia inventions…...and curses that turn grown adults into babies."

Mari isn't sure if Reborn reacts to her words at all. She keeps her gaze fixed to her cup of tea, finger always stroking the rim of her cup for something to do. Something to focus on as she talks.

A dry laugh escapes her. "I always found it so bizarre. A hitman baby. I mean the notion sounds ludicrous." And it was ludicrous. So insane that it didn't make any sense and any form of coherency only belonged to an anime. Or a horribly crazy written Fanfiction.

Anime was always full of crazy ideas. But in the world they created everything was understood so easily

Mari had never understood it. But her friend had adored the manga, binged the anime and sought to tell her all about it till the moon was high in the sky. And who was she to ruin her friend's happiness? And so Mari let her show her pictures of characters, random episodes, songs, etc. Though she had never been particularly interested, only a few things had caught her attention. But now what seemed ludicrous was that she was a part of this world her friend so dearly loved. It was insane to think she had been reincarnated….given a second chance when she hadn't asked for one.

"Go on." Reborn encourages. There's a strong hint of curiosity in his voice as he beckons Mari to continue regaling her tale to him. Oh, she was sure to not disappoint. She had no doubt that she would quench his wondering mind.

Green eyes flicker up to stare into sable ones, a sad smile curls her lips as she drops her hand onto the table.

"Let me tell you a story of a young girl named Rachel Mors, Reborn," Mari's voice was quiet. Still even as her gaze became distant as the world around her practically fades from view. Reality was just a distant memory, nothing more than a bad dream. "Rachel was carefree and energetic. The world was at her fingertips. So many dreams danced inside her head as she began her Freshman year of highschool. The sky's the limit."

Memories long forgotten flooded back to her like a deluge. The dam had been broken and the torrent of old days came crashing back with a force strong enough to sweep her away in it's waters of nostalgia. With it were many emotions, each one bubbled up inside of her threatening to spill forth.

Mari recalled happy days with her family. That is her first family, the original. Playing chess with her father, helping her mother in her garden, chasing after her little siblings as she threatened them if they didn't give her stuff back. She could see herself walking through the hallways of school as she chatted with her friends, running through the park Naruto style as they acted like a bunch of nerds. Mari could hear the voice of her first mother, soft and sweet and oh so excited as she gushed over her eldest daughter as she got ready for the Homecoming dance at school.

The first rite of passage of highschool. The first of many school dances to come but never did.

Her best friend and her posed together once they finished getting ready. Hair and makeup done they each wore pretty dresses that fell to their knees as their parents took pictures of them. Jovial laughter echoed in her mind as the two of them headed off to enjoy the evening. Mari recalled her mother stopping her before she got into the car so she could set a beautiful butterfly pin into her hair.

"She had a family, friends, a home. Everything she could possibly want she had, Rachel wasn't spoiled by any means but she was content with the things she had. But then suddenly she didn't have anything anymore." Mari's voice became strained as the memories within her changed, altered in a way she disliked greatly. The happy smiles and gleeful laughter transformed to one single grin with cold blue eyes watching her in the dark.

"Adult's always say to watch your surroundings. Be aware of where you go even if you're with others, always watch what's around you. Rachel had never been the cautious type, always deciding to live in the moment, never paying attention to the world around her. It was more fun that way."

A memory of walking down the street as she headed to her best friend's house filtered to the forefront of her mind. It had been a crisp fall afternoon, September had trickled into October.

The leaves had spontaneously burst into color overnight. The world in that moment was a beautiful shade of lush reds, oranges, and yellows as the leaves fell from their home. She loved autumn so much. The cool days, the changing leaves, apple cider, hay rides, it brought forth so much fun before the landscape was turned into a winter wonderland.

A shaky breath squeezes past her lips. Heart thudding rapidly in her chest like a war drum Mari takes a moment of brief silence before she continues. She had been so naive. Squeezing her fingers together she tries desperately to stop the shaking in her body but to no avail. Her body knew before her what came next.

"Had Rachel been more aware of her surroundings nothing bad would have happened to her."

No. No Mari hadn't done that at all. Not once did she know she was being stalked for the past few weeks. Not once did she notice anything amiss in her life, she hadn't seen the signs at all.

"Due to her carelessness Rachel Mors became the missing girl," Mari had never made it to her friends. She only had a few blocks to walk but in that moment it was enough time for her murderer to make his move. He had planned it meticulously. "She was the forgotten girl." How many years had passed in the first world she had been born into? No doubt she was forgotten by this point.

"Rachel Mors was the dead girl."

Hearing her say it out loud sent a shockwave through her body as she grew rigid and still. That sickly sweet smile came back into her mind once more as laughter filled the air as the man cooed down at her broken form on the ground. Mari had tried to escape, oh she had fought tooth and nail for freedom. Freedom was just a flight of fancy as the man toyed with it. He let her believe she could escape before ripping it out of her grasp. It had made her angry and thus she fought ever harder.

So hard in fact she caused his ire when she had kicked him in the face hard enough to make him bleed. After that he made sure she couldn't use her legs again.

Mari hadn't been killed right away.

No.

This monster fed off longevity. And as such he strived to ensure she lived as long as she could as he took her apart piece by bloody piece and when he was done he sewed her back together. Mari didn't deny he had a skillful hand, he clearly had some extensive medical background.

"Sweet little dove all caged. Can you still fly?"

The question was so clearly purred in her ear as a whimper escaped her throat. She could smell his breath, sweet and smelling of cinnamon. He always ate something sweet before he came to her.

The cold steel of a knife touched her cheek digging into the delicate flesh ever so softly. A bead of blood formed sliding down her pale flesh like a bloody tear. Mari remembered not wanting to cry. She never wanted to cry in front of him but she could never keep the tears at bay. He drank off of those tears.

Despite the tears, the pain, despite everything she had fought. Mari had thought of her friends and family and how she most desperately wanted to see them again. She wanted to plant flowers with her mother, play chess with her father, hug her siblings close and promise to never threaten them when they took her things. Mari wanted to go to school, she wanted to be with her best friend. Life was worth living and she yearned to live no matter what!

"My dear you are certainly strong. Stronger than any other person I have had the privilege of working with but I fear our time together is coming to a close. The curtain is falling shut and I'm afraid there's no encore." Those words terrified her then and they terrified her now.

She could see him coming towards her. Body shaking violently Mari tries to move but couldn't, her limbs wouldn't listen to her command. There was too much pain…...no not pain…..numbness….the young girl couldn't feel anything. The knife was in the man's hands and that smile…...she was scared of that smile. Someone….anyone….save me…..please…..I don't want to die!

The piercing pain of the knife puncturing her side comes with a soft touch to her cheek. It was a gentle soothing caress one you would give to a frightened animal.

"Mari it's not real, not anymore." Reborn's voice was calm. His soft voice was loud enough to break through the recollection of her past. It was a loud gunshot to her ears.

Gasping, she blinks in confusion and uncertainty.

When did I end up on the ground she wonders. No longer sitting at the table Mari found herself sprawled out on the floor with her back against the cubbards. The chair she had once been sitting in was now toppled over, her cup of tea was spilled all over the table, the cup shattered into a million pieces on the ground. She felt cold and sweaty all at once as her breathing was ragged. Her stomach rolled within her as she continued to tremble, she could barely sit upright. Thankfully the cupboards behind her kept her elevated. Without them she was sure she would be strewn across the ground like a broken doll.

"R-Reborn…." She gasps out as she stares at the baby before her.

"You're safe." His words were simple but to Mari they meant the whole damn world as something inside her cracked. Those were the only words she had wanted to hear back then.

One tear streaks her cheek which is soon followed by another and another and eventually she is freely crying. I wanted someone to tell me I was safe. She whimpers keenly like a child. Mari had often fantasized of the cops finding her, of anyone finding her, of rescuing her and telling her softly that she was safe. Reassuring and consoling her as they brought her to safety.

Body shuddering she chokes on a sob. Mari is bawling now, wailing as loud as she possibly can and she doesn't care who hears her. Crying was long overdue. Reaching out Mari grabs Reborn and holds him tightly into a fierce hug never wanting to let him go. Safe. She was safe. Reborn was here so she was safe. Her monster wouldn't come back to torture her again.

Mariko just sat there hugging him and crying. It was all she could do at that moment.

The toffee haired girl wasn't sure how long she cried for but it must have been a very long time. There had been so much emotion locked up deep inside her that Mari was surprised by it all. Looks like it was true that if you tried to cover up pain it wouldn't heal. It was like mold growing in the dark. It festered and became a cancerous growth.

She knew she wasn't healed. Not by a long shot but perhaps this was a start?

When she had uttered her last sob Mari released Reborn from her tight grip.. She hoped she didn't crush him too terribly. Her face was most likely a horrid mess of tears and snot as she offered Reborn a watery smile. Green eyes were dull in color and bloodshot as they regarded black eyes.

"Thanks….." she whispers quietly. Grimacing at the state of her voice she gently touches her throat. Well sounding like a frog was to be expected after her breakdown she thought as Reborn hands her a handkerchief. Taking it she cleans her face blowing her nose. Sighing Mari sees the mess on the floor and makes a move to pick up the shards.

"Take a seat at the table." Reborn orders as Leon turns into a dust pan. Blinking several times Mari nods not moving to argue with Reborn on the matter of who would clean up the mess. Getting to her feet she winces slightly as she stretches her limbs before lifting up the fallen chair. Setting it upright she takes a seat at the table once more. Mari rests her head on her arms as she waits for Reborn to finish.

What had Reborn thought of her? Of her story?

It was one fit for the insane asylum her mind whispers darkly. Living another life, dying, reincarnation. It was such a tall tale. But in this world Mari found herself in stranger things had happened. Wasn't there a character that had been reincarnated multiple times or something of the sort?

So focused was she on her thoughts Mari doesn't see Reborn place a fresh cup of tea next to her till the soothing scent of chamomile fills her senses. Lifting her head she grabs the cup and smiles at Reborn nodding her thanks before taking a small warmth of the drink eased the pain in her throat.

"Your Rachel Mors."

The words cut the silence in the air like a knife. Mari tenses for several seconds before relaxing her posture. Staring into dark colored eyes she nods her head. Everything she had told him was the truth.

"Yes. I'm Rachel." How very strange she thinks. I hadn't called myself that in such a long time.

"And as such this coincides with purposefully keeping away from Tsuna and all those he's affiliated with." A curious glint filled blackened eyes as he regarded the young girl before him. Ever since his arrival to Japan Mariko Himuro had been a curious case. She kept her distance from Tsuna, never talking to him while at the same time helping him when trouble brewed. It was like she was a contradiction that couldn't be solved.

Reborn noticed quickly she would stay away from Kyoko Sasagawa and her friend Hana as well as Yamamoto Takeshi. By all rights she had no reason too, the three individuals were pleasant enough and had a nice reputation at the school. Kyoko was the school's idol, sweet and caring with an equally cute exterior. Hana was her best friend, a bit brash. She was mature for her age but nevertheless observant. By all means she was a normal student like many others. Yamamoto was a popular baseball player with a cheery laidback disposition, embracing everything with a smile on his face he was loved by many.

However, Mari stayed away from them. Reborn was intrigued because there was no reason for the light haired brunette to keep away.

As more and more potential members for Tsuna's family began to show up, Mari ran in the opposite direction. Painstakingly avoiding everyone. The girl for a week straight was pale and frightened, losing sleep from her actions. Reborn made a point to get to the bottom of this tonight. As soon as Reborn pulled Mari into the Vongola group her actions had only increased.

Distance was her game.

Taking a long sip of her drink Mari sets down the half empty cup of tea.

"Yeah. It coincides." And just like before she tells Reborn another tale of her best friend who loved an anime/manga called Katekyo Hitman Reborn. Mari explained that she hadn't been really into it but let her friend rant about it. It told the story of Tsunayoshi Sawada, a total loser in life, as he trains to be a mafia boss.

She talked for a long time explaining everything she remembered of the show. Reciting in detail all that her dear friend told her. However, she noted the differences she had started to see. Like Tsuna's dying will confession when Reborn first shows up. It was supposed to be for Kyoko. It was supposed to be a love confession. It was never intended for Mari and nor was it supposed to be a thank you as he returned her pencil.

Mochida was supposed to be into Kyoko, not her.

"Nothing is making sense anymore and I don't know why." she mutters quietly as she takes her cup and downs the rest of her drink in one go. Setting it down Mari leans back in her chair exhausted. She had never felt this tired before in her life.

"Butterfly Effect. Chaos theory but the premise is that a small change can cause a monumental outcome." Reborn states studiously. She's heard of that theory before. A beat of a butterfly's wings could cause a hurricane elsewhere in the world. Heh looks like she was that butterfly.

Banging her head against the tabletop she groans. "I just want to live."

"Though the life of a mafioso brings many dangers normal life brings just about as many," Reborn begins slowly catching her attention. Lifting her head up she raises a brow in question. "Death comes in many forms. A common cold, allergic reaction, car accident, whatever the case may be it happens. If you keep running then you're not truly living. You'll run yourself ragged. Can you call that a life, Mari?"

Anger flares up inside her, spontaneously bubbling hot and fierce as she jumps up from her seat. Slamming her hands onto the table she glares at Reborn.

"Yes it is! But ya know I never wanted this! I never wanted to die! I was stupid and didn't pay attention but it happened and after the world around me went dark I woke up in a completely similar but different world. I was put into a baby's body! A teenager put into that form! Do you have any idea what that feels like!" In her rage she didn't see the shadowed expression on Reborn's face as his fedora covered his eyes.

"I do." His voice is soft and quiet but beholding a firmness that makes her gasp. How insensitive of her. However, the ball was rolling now and she couldn't stop, the anger flowed freely, hot tears burned her eyes and yet Mari couldn't help but laugh.

And here I thought I was done crying!

"No matter what, I'll live this time." She declares loudly. Fingers digging into the wood of the table she levels the hitman with a fierce look. "I'll do what….."

"Rachel Mors is dead."

The blunt declaration is cast out into the air and with it it brings shocking revelations as Mari staggers back into her seat. Watery green eyes stare at the baby hitman before her who now stands on the table. His eyes were narrowed into a fierce annoyed glare as if he couldn't believe the words he was hearing. Reborn had been patient with the young teen before him, listening intently to her story, empathized with her to a degree. All he could hear was Rachel talking.

She didn't realize Rachel was dead; he had to tell her.

If she held onto this delusion it would only lead her down a dark path of obsession. Reborn didn't want that for her.

Walking towards her Reborn reaches out and grabs the front of her shirt. A single firm tug drew the girl down to eye level with him. If this was any other situation Mari's reaction would have amused him.

"Rachel Mors is dead," he repeated sternly. "You're not Rachel anymore so stop continuing to try and live her life. There's nothing wrong with caution, in fact I make a point to my students to always be cautious but not to the point of paranoia and obsession. You're no longer Rachel. You're Mariko Himuro now, it's time to let Rachel go so you can live freely."

Mari gawped at him like a fish out of water. Her mouth worked trying to form words but no sound escaped her throat.

"I can't explain why you've been given a second chance. All I know is that your alive so stop running. You've never made a friend in your life until now. Look around and you'll see people who care. Tsuna is a moronic idiot and will never admit this but he's always wanted to be your friend yet you always ran. You've been running all your life and now it's time to stop running. It's time to put what once was to rest. It's time to put Rachel to rest."

With each word he uttered Reborn's grip on her shirt tightened as he lifted up the girl till she was dangling a few inches off the floor. Mari could do nothing but stare at Reborn in utter shock as his words echoed in her head like loud church bells.

No….I always knew I was dead…..I…...No I knew that….

Silent tears flowed freely down her face as her breath hitches. Did she ever cry for Rachel? No…...Mari recalled grieving that she had been given a new life, she remembered the constant crying she had done as a tiny babe. She thought she had accepted everything, Mari remembered wholeheartedly coming to terms. I understood…..I did….honest.

Only now Mari realized she never did.

The words were an ugly truth.

"I lived a beautiful lie," Her voice cracks as she stares down at Reborn with a sorrowful expression. Vision blurry from tears a shuddering gasp escapes her throat. "I thought I came to terms with everything….I thought if I tried hard enough then things would be fine. That they would be the same. I made a plan to keep away from Tsuna….from the others….I just wanted to keep living."

She was alive and had always been from the moment she opened her eyes and took a breath. Deep down however Rachel lingered and wanted to continue that life. So she did whatever was possible.

Rachel stayed away from Tsuna, helping him always but then keeping distant, Rachel stayed away from Kyoko, Hana, Yamamoto and many others who followed later in life. Never wanting to get close she shoved everyone away. Mariko however wanted to converse with Kyoko about various cakes for she to had a sweet tooth. Mari wanted to converse with Yamamoto because she also played a sport.

Mari had wanted to be friends with Tsuna.

"There's nothing wrong with wanting to live." Reborn tells her gently as he sets her down on the ground.

Mari takes a staggering step backwards till she collapses into her chair for what felt like the hundredth time. Reaching up she brushes her hands across her face to wipe away the tears.

"You've given me much and more to think about." she says softly sighing.

Reborn nods his head slowly as he watches her closely. Though his words had been cruel they needed to be said.

"Mari is alive, Rachel is not. It's time you took that to heart."

Nodding her head she agrees with Reborn. Though the process wouldn't be easy and she was still unsure about many things. "I know that now. But even so I'm not sure I can put her to rest." Rachel had been a part of her for so very long, Mari wasn't sure she could take this big step. What would she have when Rachel was gone?

"It'll take time but I believe you can do it. After all, you're meant to be the wife of the Vongola Decimo." Reborn simply states as he takes a seat.

A snort of laughter escapes her as her body shakes in amusement. God after so much crying it felt good to laugh she thinks as she looks at him. "Very funny."

Reborn merely smirks causing all humor to vanish. "Wait….your serious?" Was he really adamant on her being Tsuna's wife?

His smirk only grew at her question.

"I thought you said that was just a ploy!?"

"It was to get close with you but I did ask permission from the 9th to train you." Wait, that letter was real!? "What did you think I made it all up? I did state earlier that I think Tsuna and you would be a good match."

"I'm not accepting this!" she hisses glaring at him.

Chuckling Reborn stands up from his seat. "Think what you will but be ready in the morning because that's when training starts."

Mari let out a loud groan as she slams her head against the table. This was just crazy, she thinks. There was no way she would accept being a part of Vongola! Also what the hell does a mafia wife even do!? Her mind was reeling with questions.

Feeling something touching her head she swims out of her thoughts. Looking up she sees Reborn staring at her, his small hand stroked her hair gently dancing lightly through light colored locks.

"Remember all that I said and try to get some rest tonight. You're alive so it's time to start living." With the tip of his fedora Reborn was gone leaving Mari to slump in her seat. She resides in the kitchen for another hour as she processes everything that had happened this evening. A lot of locked up emotions had bubbled up to the surface, a lot of words had been said. They were words she needed to say, and words she needed to hear. There was no mistaking that.

When the old grandfather clock in the hallway strikes midnight does Mari leave the kitchen. The exhaustion she had felt earlier had only increased tenfold as she took the stairs two by two to reach her room. Stripping out of her school uniform she drops it haphazardly onto the floor when she enters her room. Grabbing soft cotton shorts and an old T-shirt she pulls it on and collapses into bed.

Rolling onto her back Mari stares up at the ceiling. The moon's light from outside filtered into the darkness of the room casting an ethereal glow that made her smile slightly. Lifting her hand she pretends briefly like she can grab the light stretching out before her.

Hand falling to her side Mari curls up underneath the covers. She falls asleep quickly succumbing to sleep but one thing she notes before she goes under is that for once she feels a lot lighter.

The weight of the past was no longer on her shoulders.

XxxXxx

Alex:And that's a wrap! This chapter was fun to write, I feel really proud and happy with this chapter as we delved deeper into Mari's past. I will say that next chapter we will return to happier funny moments after this so please stay tuned. If anyone is curious songs I listened to while writing this were: River flows in you by Yiruma and All gone No Escape from The Last of Us.

Please let me know what you all think as I'm very excited to hear your thoughts. I always enjoy reading everyone's reviews! I'll see you guys in chapter six so until next time!

Ciao Ciao.