Dracos pov
Draco woke to the sound of apparation. The bed beside him was cold and he figured Hermione must have gone out.
When his eyes opened and he adjusted to the reality of the day, his stomach ached, and his heart hurt at the realisation that his daughter was gone.
He had withdrawn from the world when they had come back to their town house without her. He shut himself away, stared blankly at the wall for days on end, just trying to make sense of it all.
He couldn't blame his wife, he would never. But he knew she blamed herself. Hundreds of times he tried to get up and talk to her. Hundreds of times he just wanted to hold is wife and cry with her, tell her that they would get through this, that they would be OK some day. But he couldn't. He couldn't bear to drag himself up out of his office chair, couldn't bring himself to do anything other than sit and stare at the wall.
This is what he thought about when he found Hermione's letter. The one where she told him he'd be better off without her, where she said she would let him live his life free from her and what she did.
The things she said, they were so far from the truth. Their baby was the sad victim of a statistical tragedy. No one caused it, in fact, Hermione had always been meticulous about following the guidelines for safe baby sleeping. If anything, she probably kept her alive for longer.
Hermione's letter didn't say where she was going, it didn't say when she'd be back.
Draco panicked now, realising that he had caused this. His withdrawal from her, his isolation, it had caused her to feel like this was her fault. In reality, he couldn't face his wife because he was also feeling immense guilt. If he had decided to stay home that day or if he had taken a little extra time off work, maybe he'd have gotten Cassie out of bed and maybe she'd still be with them.
But if not their child, then it would have been someone else suffering through this.
He felt like it had been karma for all the horrible things he had done in his life. Hermione had always said none of it was his fault, but he still partook. He still said and did things that he had never even faced punishment for.
Was this it? Was this his punishment? Had he been such a horrible person that he had to fall in love, have a child and lose them both?
Draco wanted to drown his sorrows in firewhisky. He wanted to go to their marital bed, where the indentation of his wife was still soft, and stay there till it all went away. He wanted to shut the world out and suffer in silence.
But reading the letter Hermione left for him, it was clear that there were two people he needed to see. The only two people who could help.
He found himself standing before Harry, unshaven and wearing clothes he supposed he picked up off the floor. That had been his existence. Everything he thought he knew about himself died with his daughter and here he was standing before his once enemy, now best friend, begging for help.
"Just like that? Gone?" Harry asked.
"I honestly don't know where to start looking for her. I don't think... Well, I've been distracted. She could be really unwell" Draco said, fearing the worst. He had been distracted, distracted by his own grief, too busy to notice hers.
Harry pulled a piece of parchment to himself and started scribbling a note down, then another. He stood, leaving his cubical and headed for the head of the auror department. Draco followed blindly, knowing that whatever Harry was doing it was right. It was always right.
He tapped on the door and walked straight in, not waiting for an answer.
"Mister Potter, Mister Malfoy, how can I help you both today?" the head wizard asked.
"Draco is back on the team effective immediately. Here's our assignment" he said in his authoritative voice. "I'll be hiring outside consultation, and they'll need full pay and access" he added. Draco just stood there dumbfounded as the wizard read Harry's note.
"You've got three months" he said, as he signed the paper and handed it back to Harry.
"Thank you, sir," Harry said, "come on" he added to Draco as he turned to leave.
"What was that? What's going to take 3 months?" he asked.
"Hermione doesn't want to be found. If you remember, we lived on the run for 10 months. She knows how to stay hidden" Harry said.
"So this is, what? A rescue mission?" Draco asked.
"This is three mates looking for their best friend" he said, throwing another piece of parchment into the first fireplace they came across and yelling, "Wesley's Wizards Wheezes, Hogsmead".
"Where do we start?" Draco asked.
"Are you not an auror? We'll track her" Harry said.
"Why would she come to the most obvious place?" Draco asked, as they arrived in Sydney via Port key.
"Because it's the most obvious. And it's the last place Ron would think to look, strategically speaking. And deep down inside, she wants to be found" Harry said.
"It's been months without a word from her. At this point, is she even al..." he began, but was cut off by Ron.
"Don't say it Malfoy. Of course she's alive" Ron said.
"Reach for your soul bond. You bonded with her for a reason, if she were dead you would know" Harry said.
Draco knew she was alive, he felt her in his soul, he felt her pain and her sorrow. He felt how tired she was and how scared and alone she was.
He remembered back to the lead up to their wedding. There had been so many questions about traditional bonds versus modern bonds and in the end, Hermione argued for the old school traditional method of tying their souls to each other. They had jumped so fast into this life, and he wanted to give her a way out but she was adamant. His heritage had to play a part in their lives somehow and she wanted to do as much as she could to acknowledge that. It was part of why he loved her. He tried so hard to be everything he could for her, for Cassie and in return, she did the same. They were equally as lost in each other's worlds, but he had always known that that was what made them stronger.
The three unlikely friends got a motel in Sydney, close to wizarding Sydney bit in muffle territory so they could assimilate.
Ron had the hardest time, having hardly ever ventured into the muggle world. At times, Draco laughed at how much he resembled his clueless father. In all the best, most humorous ways of course.
The next day, they made their way south in a rental car to the town that Draco and Hermione had come to for their honeymoon. Everything seemed just the same. The places, the people, the smells. Only, he was now alone.
They made it to the bustling town and looked around.
"If we want to find her, we will" Harry said.
"This isn't a small local town Potter, more than 250 thousand people live here" Draco said, feeling hopeless.
"A small town, but with only one university" Ron said.
"Right, so tomorrow we go to the university and see if anyone knows her" Harry said.
Draco felt like things were moving at snail pace.
After an agonising slow night, featuring too much reminiscing between two thirds I'd the golden trio, Draco woke to a new day. The day dawned with potential and possibilities. He hoped that today would be the day he laid eyes on his wife again, but he dare not get his hopes up too high. They were in the right place, but it would still be like finding a needle in a haystack.
The trip to the university was mildly productive. A policy regarding domestic abuse prevented them revealing any information to Draco, despite him showing a missing persons report from London and a copy of their marriage certificate. Harry had more luck, however, Draco suspected that magic was used to coax them into confirming her attendance and divulging her address. His Hermione would never approve. Then again... No one could be certain what kind of Hermione they might find after months of her being missing.
They wandered the campus in hopes of seeing her, of catching a glimpse of his wife, of his soul mate. Draco smiled inwardly when he saw a sign that read library, however, upon closer inspection, this library was nothing like Hogwarts library. It was too new, too open. It wasn't somewhere that he'd consider Hermione's place at all, but they asked around regardless.
No one seemed to know her, no one recognised her. No one knew her name, despite it being unique.
They ended up at the uni bar to cool off and grab a drink. There were students everywhere, people coming and going. Draco approached the bar and bought a drink fumbling with the photo of Hermione as he waited.
"Here ya go" the bartender said as he handed Draco 3 beers.
"Have you seen this person?" Draco asked him before taking the beers.
The bartender took the photo and examined it closely and Draco watched in annoyance.
"Yeah, I think I have. Well, me mate has" he said with a wink.
He called to his friend, another bartender and held up the photo.
"Isn't this that chick you took home?" he asked him.
The other guy walked over, looked at the photo, looked at Draco, then to his mate and shoved the photo back at him.
"No, never seen her" he said, with a curious look to his friend.
"Right, well thanks" Draco said, feeling relieved that it wasn't Hermione who this strange man took home.
When he got back to the table, he looked over and saw the two bartenders having a hushed conversation. Somehow, he felt there was more going on here than anyone was saying.
They stayed for a while and discussed where to look next. They had her address, but couldn't exactly go barging in. They had to find her somewhere in public.
As they were leaving, the main bartender approached Draco and pulled him aside.
"Sorry man. This chick, is she your sister or something?" he asked.
"She's my wife, actually" Draco said.
The man's face dropped.
"Sorry mate, relationships are hard" he said.
"Do you know where she might be?" Draco asked.
"She hangs out at the clubs in town most nights... Look man, I don't know what to tell you. She has a reputation around here for being pretty easy. I know she went home with my mate, and I've seen her leave here pretty out of it, with loads of others. If she's your wife, she sure isn't acting like she's taken... maybe she doesn't wanna be found?" he said, shrugging his shoulders before walking away.
Draco was seething. Hermione had a reputation? What the fuck. What had she done to get herself into this mess? Why was she running around clubs, getting wasted and going home with random guys? It wasn't like her at all. It wasn't his Hermione.
Draco woke the next day to see an ancy Harry sitting at the table of their hotel room. They had all gone to bed early the night before, with plans to visit Hermione at her apartment the next day.
Draco suspected something was wrong, but didn't have to even ask before Harry's worried face gave him away.
"She's in a bad way" he said.
Draco was stunned into silence. They'd found her.
"You saw her?" Ron asked, wiping the sleep from his eyes.
"I couldn't sleep last night, I was thinking about what that bartender said, so I went to her place and broke in. I looked around for a while and must have fallen asleep on her lounge. Woke up to her apparating in at dawn and she just looked so sad and lost. She told me she didn't need anyone, she asked if you were here then told me to leave. I honestly didn't know what to say. Her place is a cess pit of empty bottles and take out containers" Harry said sadly.
Part of Draco was happy to have found her but devastated at the same time. Also, highly annoyed that Harry sodding Potter thought to run out in the middle of the night to find her without him. All this time, he thought that perhaps she'd lost her memories, been taken, had her memories of him stripped from her. Especially if what the bar tender was saying was true and she's sleeping around. But she asked about him, she asked if he was here. She knows very well what she's doing.
"I can't... This is all a mistake. It's quite clear she's doing her own thing so I think we should leave" he said, turning to go back to his trunk to pack.
"No way mate, we didn't come all this way just to get this far and run away. Whatever she's doing, it's not her. Losing Cassie hurt us all, but she felt responsible. This is her grief, nothing more. Whatever she's done, whatever she's doing, it isn't her. It's not our Hermione and, Malfoy you know that", Ron said, shocking the others with his profound words.
"How will we ever go back to normal if she's been... If she's... If what that barman said was true?" Draco asked, finally voicing his biggest concern since finding her.
She has, in essence, been cheating on him. They're still married, he has loved her this whole time. But now? Now he had no idea. He just needed to see her to know. To look into her eyes and see his Hermione. His wife.
Despite wanting to be the one to go, Malfoy waited outside of the club that they had seen her enter, while Harry went in. Hermione was never one for the club scene. Sure, when they first got together, they went to Theo's a few times, but not this, not this muggle atrocity of a nightclub where drunk teenagers vomited in the floor then ordered another round of shots.
It was a while before he sensed her, before he felt her. He looked up and saw her walking quickly from the club on the opposite side to where he was standing with Weasley.
"What's she wearing?" Ron asked as they ran to where Harry was now following her towards the taxi rank.
Draco could barely look at her. She had straightened her hair and had on far more make up than his Hermione would ever consider wearing. Her clothes left little to the imagination and her shoes were so high that she must have been using a charm to keep from falling down.
He watched as if it were a movie, as she got into a taxi and yelled something to the driver.
He watched the white sedan drive past and his breath caught in his throat as she looked up at him and their eyes connected. Her eyes, her soul. She was still in there, even though it was the slightest glance, he knew she was still there.
He couldn't fault her for whatever it was that she had been doing here. He couldn't hold onto any animosity, now that he was sure she was still his Hermione. Sure she looked different, but her eyes gave her away.
The next day, Draco, Harry and Ron spent time trying to figure out what their next move would be. They had no plan, however, to Draco, it didn't matter. He wanted his wife and plan or no plan, the next time he laid eyes on her, he'd get hold of her and never let her go.
It didn't matter what she'd done, who she had spent time with, how she spent her days and nights. He needed to get her back home so they could rebuild their lives.
The three of them went to a local pub for dinner and before they were about to walk in, Draco put an arm out to stop them.
There she was, sitting at a small table, flicking through a newspaper.
He wondered what she was thinking. He knew her, he could tell she wasn't reading. She was trying to ignore what was going on around her. It was working. Harry, Ron and Draco entered the pub and stood nearby, waiting for their queue to step in. They watched as a small round flashing disc began buzzing on the table and Hermione seemed to take this as a sign to go to the bistro counter to retrieve a plate of food.
The three of them hurried over and sat her table while she was gone and made no sound. He hoped she would come back there. She had left her bag behind, so she had no choice. Once he was within reaching range of her, surely he could grab her and disapparate to their home and ward the doors so she couldn't leave. That would make her talk to him. It would make her see.
"Sorry guys, I was…" he heard her voice. It was rougher than it used to be, but still her. Still a bit like her.
"You need to talk to us, Hermione" Harry said. Draco watched as she slammed her cutlery down on the table. She had developed a temper, it seemed.
"I'm not doing this" she said, however, she sat down and began picking at her food. This was ok.
Weasley tried to reach for her across the table, but she pulled away. She looked everywhere but at him before she got up and walked to the bar.
He hoped she wouldn't leave, that he didn't miss his chance.
When she came back with what looked like a regular soda drink, he was relieved. She sat down and looked at Harry, at Ron, then, slowly, she looked at him. He could do nothing but stupidly blink at her. He had no idea what to say, how to tell her all the things he had been wanting to tell her since Cassie… since their daughter was snatched from their arms. But he couldn't formulate words.
"I can't do this" she said, and his worst fears came to fruition, as she got up and ran to the exit.
He instinctually got up and ran after her, finding her standing almost in the street, panic etched upon her once perfect features. He held her by her shoulders so she wouldn't go, so she wouldn't leave. Couldn't leave him.
"Get off me, I can't, I won't" she cried out, trying to break free.
He didn't want to hurt her. In fact, just touching her made him feel good, almost like, despite her panic and dread at just looking at him, things might be ok.
"Hermione…" he said. "Hermione… Granger!" he spat, and she froze.
He hadn't called her that in years.
Her face was pained as she turned to face him. She looked so broken.
"Draco…" she whispered.
"Please, just talk to me, I'm begging you" he said, looking deep into her glistening eyes.
"I can't… I… Its… Draco, you don't know what I've done" she said through tears.
"I don't care, I don't care what you've done" he said truthfully. He meant it; he didn't care. It didn't matter what she had done here.
"You should, Draco, you should care, the fact that I'm here, the furthest pace I could possibly go to let you live your life without me, that should mean something" she spat.
"That's not what I wanted. Its isn't what we needed, we needed each other. I need you" he said, not stopping the tears from clouding his vision.
"You… You shouldn't"
"Why not? Huh? Why not Granger? In sickness and health, remember?" he yelled, pulling his left hand up to shove his wedding band in her face. She hadn't been wearing hers. Probably hadn't in months.
"Draco…" she began. Her eyes were wide with fear. "Draco, I killed her. It was me, my fault. I did it. I left because I couldn't stand the way it felt to see her in you every single day. Sickness and health, not death" she said through her tears.
"You didn't… Hermione, it wasn't your fault. You didn't… you weren't to blame" he said.
"I let her die. I should have been there, I could have done something" she said.
"It was a terrible thing that happened, but no one could have stopped it. You were there, the doctors, muggle and wizard, she died in her sleep" he said.
"I put her in her crib Draco, I did that. I could have held her; I could have been watching her..." she cried out.
"Hermione..." Harry said, making himself heard for the first time, "it wasn't your fault" he continued.
"I... It was... I could have..." she stammered.
Ron came up from behind Draco and wrapped his arms around Hermione. Ordinarily, he'd be pissed at Weasley's close affection with his wife, but it was clearly what she needed.
"No, you couldn't have" Ron said with a sad smile.
"But..." she tried to argue, to make them see her perspective.
"But nothing Hermione. We lost our baby. She died and there was nothing we could have done to prevent it. I know you're hurting right now but it's time to go home. Please, come home" he said.
She looked to him again, the pain between them was palpable. Harry and Ron took a step back and let them have it out.
Draco felt like the hardest part was over.
Hermione collapsed into his arms, for the first time in so long and just sobbed.
She didn't say a word, she just sobbed and sobbed. Passers-by looked on with concern, but Harry soon cast a notice-me-not spell over the group and let Hermione grieve, for what might be the first proper time since their little girl died.
Hermione eventually slowed enough to simply nod her head and hold out her hand for Draco to take. She apparated them to, what looked to be her tiny flat.
It wasn't much, but there was evidence of Hermione here. The books, mostly, but there were bits and pieces scattered around.
"I'll go and get Harry and Ron" she said.
"You'll come back?" he asked.
Hermione just nodded sadly and turned on the spot with a pop.
Another soft pop brought with it, Harry and Ron and the four of them stood awkwardly around Hermione's tiny living room, wondering what was to come.
"I'm sorry that you all spent so much time trying to find me" she said with shame in her voice.
"It doesn't matter, we found you, that's all that matters" Harry said.
"I… I have a life here. A toxic life, but I can't just up and leave it" she said.
"I can have people fix it for you" Harry said.
"Come home" Draco begged. "Please, come home" he asked, taking her hand in his.
That was all it took. Hermione nodded sadly and fell into his arms, allowing him to hold her, to comfort her and to love her.
5 years Later
Hermione woke beside her husband, having barely slept the night before. She had been kept up all night by unruly children and had hoped for a sleep in. Her husband, however, had other plans.
She knew it as soon as he pressed himself against her.
She arched her back and rubbed her backside against him, yelping when he gave it a slight slap.
She felt his hands run up her thighs and pull her knickers down her thighs.
He snaked a hand between her legs and grazed against her slit. She was wet already, but it had to be quick.
She reached behind her and grabbed hold of his raging erection. She could easily tell him to go take a cold shower, but she never denied him. She was always grateful for him being him, for him taking her back, forgiving her, when she had done nothing to earn it.
She slid her body backwards and pressed his head against her opening. With a last push backwards with her body he was sheathed inside of her. Her moan gave away how she was feeling, and she felt his hand come up and take her hip, before he started pumping away.
His hand soon reached down and pressed firmly against her clit, causing her to cry out.
"Shhh" he said, as he smiled into her ear.
She pushed him away and flipped around so she was on her back. She liked it better like this.
He climbed between her legs, lined himself up and slammed into her.
It was impossible for her to keep quiet as he fucked her like this. She loved it, loved the roughness of it, but at the same time, loved when he could be tender as well.
She placed her hands on his lower back and pulled him close, grinding his pubic bone against hers, creating blissful friction against her clit.
It took no time at all for her to slip over the edge into an orgasm, and he soon followed.
They found themselves at breakfast shortly after, surrounded by children.
At first, it was hard for Hermione to accept it, to come to terms with their decision not to have any children of their own. And it was even harder to leave the ministry and become a Hogwarts professor, purposely surround herself with children, day in and day out, but she did it. And she did it well.
She was head of Gryffindor and her little lions loved her. She taught them History of Magic, in a way that didn't send them to sleep while her husband taught potions and mentored the Slytherins s head of their house.
Eventually, their odd pairing stopped being the subject of speculation and people also forgot about Hermione's 6 month long sabbatical.
Life had begun to feel normal, to feel like it would be ok.
Hermione and Draco both missed Cassie every single day and would talk about what house she might have been in, what she might have looked like, how she would act. They always tried to let the thoughts of her bring them joy and happiness, but there were still times, in the dead of night when Hermione would wake and stand by the window in the castle, that she would think about their daughter and cry quietly to herself.
And that was ok. Hermione knew this. It was ok to mourn the loss, to feel like you have been ripped off, punished, had the most precious thing in the world given to you them taken away. It was horrible. It was torture to have to even think about.
They took all the measures they could not to fall pregnant again. Hermione couldn't do it to herself. She couldn't live through the worry, the concern, the heartbreak of having another baby. She knew that to have another baby would mean changing careers, it would mean sleepless nights, it would mean constant vigilance, monitors, charms, alarms… It would mean pain, worry angst and hurt.
Understanding all this, it was plain to see why, that on Hermione's 32nd birthday, she found herself pregnant and was absolutely terrified.
She considered abortion, but couldn't go through with it. She considered adoption, but couldn't possibly give away a child that she had created with her love and given life to with her body.
A son Scorpius was born in July and Hermione and Draco moved out of the castle and back to their home, where they both cared for him. They, as she had always envisioned, cast all the spells, set all the charms, bought all the muggle devices possible to ensure they would be alerted if something should happen to him.
It was all for nothing, however, because Scorpius Malfoy grew to be a sweet, charming blonde headed brown eyed little boy, who loved books and flying and was desperate to get into Ravenclaw and play on the quidditch team.
When he started Hogwarts, Hermione and Draco went back to teaching and watched as their little boy sat high on the stool with the sorting hat on his head and they cheered for him as it roared "Ravenclaw" . They smiled to each other as he bolted to the table and sat among the sea of blue. An older boy. One who had hair that stood up at funny angles at the back of his head, leant over and aimed his wand at Scorpius, and Hermione and Draco held hands under the table, as an older Sirius Potter turned his robes to the colours of Ravenclaw.
He fit in well, beloved by his house and adored by teachers. He topped all of his classes and played seeker on the quidditch team from his third year onwards.
By the time he finished 7th year, Hermione and Draco put a hold on teaching, yet again and left to live a nice quiet life, just the three of them.
No one factored in Scorpius falling for and marrying the child of Ron and Luna, Pandora. She had been a couple of years ahead of Scorpius, but he had always followed her around, always fancied her.
Hermione and Draco didn't return to Australia. They taught at Hogwarts once Scorpius moved out and ended up teaching the grandchildren of all their friends, and eventually their own grandchildren.
Hermione was eventually appointed to Headmistress of Hogwarts, which is where she lived out the remainder of her years, guiding young witches and wizards, while her husband stood by her side as Potions master.
She always thought about Cassiopeia, she always wondered what she might have been like, who she might have ended up with. She wondered whether she would have been in Ravenclaw like Scorpius or in Gryffindor or Slytherin like her parents. Or even Hufflepuff would have been ok too.
Eventually, Hermione stopped feeling guilty. She stopped thinking it was her fault.
She often reminisced about her months in Australia, thought about the days where, when it was quiet, she had watched her parents going about their lives. She recalled tracking own the bartenders' mate and confronting him as the one who had slipped something into her drink and diminished her capacity to continue to consent to what was happening to her. She didn't ask what the curse was that Draco had put on him, she didn't think she wanted to know. Draco had asked her about some of the things she had done, some of the men, but Hermione had simply said that it was a blip in their lives, and it was over.
They were able to live peacefully and then, at the age of 128, Hermione and Draco both died in each other's arms in their bed at their home.
Generations of children and grandchildren had gathered the day before, happy, thankful for the life they had been given.
There had been no more tragedy, there had been no more death. Hermione had always felt that Cassie's sacrifice meant that the family could be free of the pain that had been inflicted upon Hermione and Draco. Hermione had thought that she had suffered enough in her teen years, that Cassie's death was too much, but Cassie's death, Hermione thought, the one big tragedy that they all had to experience, in order to have generations of their children live happy long lives.
Harry and Ginny's children had all grown and had children of their own.
Ron and Luna had also lived a long happy life with children and grandchildren, who, thanks for Pandora and Scorpius, brought their families together.
Cormack McLaggen had eventually moved on from his obsession with Hermione and married a muggle girl and had 3 squib children.
To everyone's surprise, Theo and Neville had married and adopted a whole bunch of war orphaned children, before Neville had worked alongside Hermione and Draco as the Herbology Professor.
Hermione had run away to seek repentance for what she had done. To punish herself for not being a constant hovering presence in Cassie's life, but in actuality it was life that owed Hermione. Hermione wasn't guilty of anything other than loving too deeply and befriending too fiercely. She lost herself when she lost her daughter, but with the support of her husband and her two best friends, she was easily found again. Repentance wasn't necessary. Hermione didn't owe anything to anyone.
She lived a full life and could now rest peacefully, knowing she did all she could for everyone in her life.
END
An - Thanks for reading. Please post a review and let me know what you think.
It was very hard to write this. Half way through, I lost my nan. It was pretty sudden and I hadn't really been able to see her as her nursing home was in lockdown due to COVID fears. She helped raise me, she cared for me when my parents were unable to. In the end, over the last 5 years or so, it was just me and her left. The family had pulled away, moved away, spread out. I am blessed that I got to now her, and she got to now my kids. I know that I did the right thing, I know that I have, so far, fulfilled her wishes.
This is because we spoke about death often. We spoke about what she wanted, how she wanted it to be. It doesn't kill you to talk about death. It can be awkward, it can be scary, but its necessary. Without those conversations, I would never had known what on earth to do. I would have been completely unprepared.
Just a thought xx