I OWN NOTHING

Let's get to the meat of things like Same does on normies.

-0-

In front of Izuku was the one step to his dream, the large open gates which would let him enter the first of many trials into being a hero. Either that or the last wakeup call he needed to drop his dream once and for all. Then again, Same had put an adorable shark-shaped dent into said dream like a double-barreled shotgun to a dinner plate at pointblank. Still, clad in his school uniform with his cute fish familiar at his side, the meek boy hoped to become the kind of hero who could make others smile like All Might would. Part of him wasn't sure they'd be happy about the literal blood bath they may see like Egter was, but he could hold onto that notion, right?

"Alright, Same, it's time to do this!" the boy told his familiar, who cooed adorably while chewing on some fish Inko made for them. "This is our chance to be heroes, redeem ourselves and-"

"Sorry!" cried a cute brunette who bumped into him.

Izuku gasped as he nearly fell over, only to then float and land on his feet, "Huh?"

The girl bashfully smiled at him, "I'm so sorry about that! It wouldn't be nice to-"

And she was promptly cut off by an irate fairy, "Oi, skank!"

Taken aback by the blunt insult, the brunette turned to see Egter frowning at her, "Are you… Are you-"

"Yes, I'm talking to you," the moth girl told her with a glare, not liking how close the rosy-cheeked girl was to Izuku. "Keep your mitts to yourself and stop groping him."

"What?!" the other girl shrieked, getting questioning stares from the others.

Mortified, Izuku tried to defuse the situation, "W-Wait, Mothula-san, she didn't do anything like-"

"Don't let her cuteness fool you, Izuku," Egter told her green-haired acquaintance and flew close to him. "I can smell gold diggers a mile away, and this hussy reeks."

Finally infuriated, the brunette pushed her average yet not badly proportioned chest with a pout, "Hey! I will have you know I may want to be a hero because of money, but I'd never-"

Egter smirked devilishly, "See? She's already admitting to wanting cash, kukuku… How easy would it be for her to dump someone as cute as you for a guy with a bigger wallet."

"Mothula-san, you-" Izuku started, but the poisonous girl giggled.

"I told you to call me Egter-chan, Izu-kun," the fairy winked and flew away, leaving a baffled and blushing boy behind with an irate girl.

Fuming, the brunette turned her head away, "Sorry for bothering your girlfriend. Bye."

"Wait, she's not my-" Izuku tried to reach her but couldn't do so in time, which caused him to let out the most listless sigh of his life. "Since when did my life turn into a bad harem manga story? Well, then again, I'm not like that guy from Love Hina who ends up with a textbook abusive wife."

"Yoyoyo, look at this foo, G! That's some whack luck and some seriously bad mojo with the ladies!" said a fast-talking male teen by the sounds of it. "Listen to the J-Meister, the great Jay Ryuma, for some actual player dialogue with any female!"

Turning, Izuku was face to face with a Eurasian youth about his age if not younger. The first word that came to mind was cocky. Just by looking at him, Izuku could tell the other teen put more effort into keeping his hair up and spiky than studying due to the bright red highlights on the tips. Despite being in Japan, the other kid wore a green jacket with yellow patches on the shoulders and elbows, black cargo shorts, and green sneakers. With the slang he was throwing, he obviously lived in the 1990s around the time hip-hop was seen as cool, or the late 2000s when the trend was dying down but adults thought it would keep them in touch with the younger generations.

"Um, no thanks," Izuku told him politely, making the other teen shrug and ruffle the freckled boy's frizzy hair. "Hey, what's-"

"Don't sweat it, dude! I could tell you'd be too awed by the Dragon of the States! I came here to impart a little something-something to Japan as the new hero to dethrone All Might! Just try not to bask too much in greatness!"

Izuku wished the guy would stop talking to him internally. Just hearing him talk about All-Might like he did irked him. It was the fact his behavior offended Izuku somewhere deep down that brought a frown to Same's ever-lasting smiling face. His best friend didn't like this one, and something about his attitude didn't endear him to Same either.

Circling Izuku in a protective loop that tightened up as the youth tried to walk away from him, Same felt a surge of rage jolt through him. This Normie was hitting on a girl. Not just any girl. But that one that Egter-chan didn't like. The brown haired one from earlier. Same's round and adorable pupil watched the mouth movements of this intently.

'Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.'

Same watched as he sped up his loop, his best friend had to be protected. And his heart was racing as he felt the urge to kill rise.

'Thump. Thump. Thump. Thumpthumpthumpthumpthump.'

Acceleration. Each rotation brought with it a fresh and dreadful palpitation. Same was growing angry. Terribly angry. The movements of this one, his jargon, the behavior, his insufferable scent. Everything pissed him off and he wasn't about to let someone Izuku didn't like live a second longer.

'Nooooorrrmmiiiiieeeeeeeeeee…!'

"Same! Come on, I don't want to be late for class!" Same's rage was halted only because of his best friend, his circling slowing down as he watched this one while Izuku hurried on.

'Patience! Patience! Go on ahead! Egter-chan and master aren't normies even if they're together! Because they're my best friends! But you. Youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!"

'Thumpthumpthumpthumpthumpthump! THUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMP!'

Izuku was unaware of his partner's intention to slaughter. Indeed, as he ran to class with excitement in his heart, he did not stop to look back to see if Same was following him. He had made the effort to swim forward, but Izuku was gone.

Same paused with a minute twist of his fins, his eye rolled around to stare blankly at the normie. He hadn't shut up and was still there, jabbering away without end. Izuku was gone. That meant it was time to feed. He would be the one to watch this normie die.

"Oh? Oh? You're about to go to town, eh?" Egter landed on his back with her arms crossed, a wicked smile crossing her face. "That one? That loser right there?"

A fresh blunt was being puffed away, the tip caught between her lips, and her expression gained a certain maliciousness. She didn't like that one either. Palpation, anticipation, execution. Izuku was gone, and that left Same alone as his jaw twitched. The aquatic predator had been savoring this moment. The blissful second before he punished this sinner.

Meanwhile his fresh target had been still trying to put the moves on the brunette, "Yo yo! Be ready for this par-tay, gurl! We'll have so much fun together, it'll be a sweet start to the year!"

She was far too polite to say it but her expression said all; she thought the Eurasian youth was a creep and not at all cool, "I-I'm sorry, I have to be off to class as well! Bye!" Running past the teenager, she couldn't help the sigh of relief when she had gotten onto the grounds of U.A proper. She was finally here at the location of her dreams, "Mom. Dad. I'll finally be able to become a successful hero, and then I'll make so much mon-"

'FUCKING DIE, YOU SCALESHITTER NORMIE!' The sound of ineffectual screaming, wings flapping, and then a horrific crunch of flesh being pulped brought her steps to a chilling halt.

Chew. Chew. Chew.

"HELP! YO, YO, PLEASE-! …uGGKKUH!" The screams of the teenager behind her died down into a horrid murmur before a few more sickening death rattle squeals were let out. The dying puffs of air rupturing from collapsing lungs, "Urhuuuuuuhhhhh-huuuahhhh-krgk."

Crunch. Gobble, gobble. Gulp.

Her head turned around, and her face lost all color. Looming in front of her was the Ocean Devil itself. The still flailing hands and limbs of a dragon was being devoured by its three heads. One bit down on the head of the half-transformed Dragon, an eyeball popping like an overripe grape with the iris-jelly drizzling down its glittering fangs. The tail was crunched down by the second, each bite magnificently making the spinal column collapse like crumbling bacon. And the body with its scrambling limbs had long since caved in.

The poor girl saw each of its eye's light upon her. It smiled so wide with the middle head that she had long since felt her rational thoughts fly from her terrified brain. She was fleeing to the school as fast as she could, screaming like a frothing lunatic as she tried to convince anyone who'd listen to her what she saw.

Having seen all of this and only finding amusement in the death of the irritating punk that pissed her off too, Egter alighted upon the nose of Same's middle head. Rubbing it with a grin as if the murder had been a good joke. From a certain point of view, what Same did wasn't murder per say. Same was just feeding. And his food happened to be people.

"Blood, blood, so much blood~! An ocean of blood and down it floods! Oh~ oh! The torrent screams, come little babies, swim in the bloody gruesome dreams~!" Ahuhuhuh… AGAHA~!"

Same flicked his nose as she tumbled into the air, screamed in fear, and then got snatched up by her wings as he shrunk down, "Kyuuuun!"

"Let's go find your master, he may be worried already, fishy," Egter smirked at her aquatic friend, who gave a happy nod.

-0-

The adorable shark swam through the school, Egter yelping and gasping like a startled maiden whose ruffled dress flew up suggestively at a chance wind blast. Same flew through the halls of the large auditorium for the entrance tests of UA, and finally popped out in front of Izuku.

"Hey Same," Izuku said as he reached out to pet Same's nose. He was just so happy to be there he didn't really mind that Same had also straight tackled him, "You're learning."

The weight of a giant ocean puppy pinned him against his chair, but Izuku didn't mind it for once as he rubbed his best friend's nose. The snout must be rubbed in the right way. Egter pouted adorably beside a finally calm and relaxed Izuku. Rather than taking a seat, she opted for floating beside him. One benefit to her wings was that she didn't feel exhaustion from using them to remain afloat or fly. However, there was the downside that grabbing them rendered her useless in any situation. Still, being able to see over a crowd beat people eclipsing her view of anything due to her size.

Present Mic, the loud hero, stepped into stage and, right as Izuku was about to gush about a favorite hero of his, someone ran in, "Stop the test! There's been a murder!"

"Huh?!" the hero exclaimed at the girl before him, whom Izuku recognized.

"Isn't that the-"

"She's the gold-digging harlot, yes," Egter said, covering her mouth with a hand to stifle her giggles. "I'm sure she must be quite stressed to shout that nonsense."

"Hah…hah…hah…!" Ochaco swallowed great greedy breathes down, "I… Need. One… Second."

Spinning his trademark item in one hand, Present Mic had a great idea and rolled with it on a whim: singing out to Ochaco while she inhaled as deeply as she could. They sang in rhythm and turn, first Present Mic and then followed by Ochaco who sang with all her heart.

"One second you say~? One second more~? Who was the one~?"

"It was a shark!"

"A shark~? Can't be, no ocean!"

"It's just that he was big!"

"How big~? Bigger than me?"

"Bigger than All-Might!"

"I'll say!"

"That's it!"

"It's what?"

"A big grinning shark!"

"A crocodile smile?"

"No! A shark!"

"Can't be!"

"It was! I swear!"

Egter tapped her arm, her face twisting up like she just bit into a lemon.

"And that's my boredom, how droll!" she sang while snapping.

"Shush, it's just getting good!" Izuku whispered to the fairy.

They were singing now too. How odd. How strange. It was like the song itself dragged them along.

"Can't, won't, shan't! It's just a snore!" Egter shot back.

"But if we don't watch, how will we know what she said?" he exclaimed.

"Shut up, all of you! This song is lame, and you guys aren't the same as me!" Katsuki was singing with the odd crew, and he had a stunningly good voice despite his personality.

"The tentacles, the teeth, it was a beast!" the brunette stated.

"A beast!? Oh my!" Present Mic held his microphone to Ochaco, who sang as hard as she could.

"A beast! I swear, it was a monster's feast!"

"I must say at the very least, you're calm now!"

"Must they sing?" Egter questioned.

"Yes, it is a thing!" Izuku sang next to her, Ochaco and Present Mic singing loudly in a wail.

"One more time!"

"It was a beast! With tentacles, fins, and teeth~"

"So, it was a shark?"

"Yes! That is what I was trying to all this time!"

"Hey, we're not singing in rhyme!"

"Sorry, but my lungs grow weak!"

They finished singing and Ochaco collapsed onto her knees, wheezing for breath while Present Mic spun his trademark tool in his hand.

"So, if I'm right, you saw a giant shark with tentacles eat someone?" the girl nodded with her remaining energy. Rubbing his chin, Present Mic considered what she had said to him, "Interesting! It sounds like a monster of some kind, a Quirk generated shark that can expand in size and kill whatever it sees in its vicinity."

Izuku's face slowly drained of its color, and he twisted his head to look at Same. The audible creak it made was akin to a wooden marionette. Rubbing his face against Izuku's hand, Same was unrepentantly happy. Then, he twisted his head right back to Present Mic, who spun his mic in the opposite hand. Connecting the dots, the poor freckled teenager simply inhaled deeply. He swallowed the scream that had threatened to burst out and nodded to himself.

"Kyuuuun~!" Egter cheekily flew up, sat down on the boy's shoulder, and crossed her legs smugly.

"Looks like you need a tighter, shorter leash," she told the green-haired teen.

"I may as well try…" Izuku muttered to himself worriedly before walking forward. Once at the stage, he raised a guilty hand and spoke up, "Present Mic, sir… I think my Quirk is the beast she talked about."

Everyone turned to the meek boy, then his plushy of a shark buddy, and back at him, "Wait, for real?" Present Mic asked with a quirked eyebrow before snickering, "Listen, kid, if you want to play a joke, I'd recommend something better than such a morbid topic."

"But it's the truth!" Izuku felt himself cry. "Same's a dangerous… Same, stop being adorably quirky!"

Unfortunately for the summoner, his familiar was rolling on the floor like a sea lion and cooing.

Pretty much every female in the audience squealed at the sight while some of the boys started to let a few amused chuckles. Finally, Present Mic had enough. Seeing what he had in front of him, he came to a simple conclusion which made perfect sense of everything in his head.

"Listen, if you two want to prank us to break the tension, this is not the place to do so, lovebirds," the blond teacher told both Ochaco and Izuku, both of whom gaped like fish at his response. "I can tell you wanted a chance to sing with a pro, but the adorable fishy here's too inoffensive."

"Sir, this is a dangerous beast capable of-"

"Your shark's adorably gathering the attention of all the girls and letting them pet him," Present Mic told the boy with a snicker when several female students started to caress the shark's skin.

"Same, stop being ridiculously cute for one second!" Izuku pleaded his familiar, who was too busy taking belly rubs to care.

"Yup, you two kids need something better than that for a silly joke," Present Mic stated.

"But he-" Ochaco exclaimed, only to be cut off.

"Enough jokes, now back to your seats," he told them sternly, not once believing them.

Hanging their heads low, the two went to their respective places. Just as they took their seats, both had a brief exchange of stares in which the brunette demanded answers, but Izuku could only sigh listlessly. A part of him knew he should inform her, and it was silenced when he remembered the two of them were still surrounded by students. Therefore, he just sat next to a smirking Egter, who had found the show as amusing as all other demonstrations of bizarre luck on Izuku's part.

And his face paled when Ochaco sat next to him, having chosen her next words carefully, "I want answers, and I won't be made a fool."

Egter glared at the bubbly airhead turning into someone who'd confront Izuku, and scoffed, "Why don't you mind your own business? You've seen how things turned out, and you've already been nobody's fool but your own thinking this can be easily solved."

"I saw someone get eaten," Ochaco growled, but didn't look as intimidating as she would've liked with a face like hers pouting with puffed up rosy cheeks.

"Try and be more intimidating than a kitten and we can talk," Egter smarmily replied.

"Please, don't fight, you two," Izuku pleaded. "We're not alone and-"

"These people don't give a fuck about your pet shark," Egter told the freckled boy and then flew to the nearest random student. "Oi, you bland background character, did you know the shark really ate a boy?"

"Oh, I'll defend you from him if you agree to step on me," the weirdo smirked as he looked at her feet.

"See? Even people with odd fetishes couldn't give two shits about us, let alone half of a shit," the fairy girl told the other two once she flew back to them.

"I can still see the blood so vividly," Ochaco whined as the memory resurfaced. "And oh God, the way his face was twisting in pain…"

"Here," Egter produced a small bag filled with a yellow powder. "These aromatic herbs will soothe you."

"Wait, are those-" Izuku's concern increased tenfold when Ochaco, too jaded by what happened, took a whiff of the stuff, completely inhaling the contents.

"Oh…" the brunette's eyes widened as they glazed over. Her face went from stressed to relaxed, gaining a glossy-eyed expression complete with a lopsided grin, "Oh man, that really hit the spot…"

"It's my own personal blend, and you can grow the seeds all on your own," Egter told the brunette.

"Alright, sounds like fun!" Ochaco beamed and leaned back on her seat with a dreamy smile.

"Name's Egter Mothula, but you can call me Eg-chan," the moth girl smirked darkly before jabbing a thumb at her partner in crime. "And this guy's Midoriya Izuku."

"So nice to meetchu, Eg-chan and Midori-kun! Ehehehe! I can tell we'll be good friends!" Ochako then put a hand on Same, caressing his head with a carefree grin. "And I'm… Uraraka Ochaco… Let's be friends!"

"What the Hell was in that bag?" Izuku asked deeply concerned.

"A natural blend of my poisons and some herbs," Egter informed him. "Don't worry, she's not going to be a junkie looking for syringes, think of this as a less hazardous version of opium."

"You can't be serious, she's high as a kite already," he whispered harshly.

"Let's make a bet, then," Egter smirked and put her hands behind her head. "If she fails the test in this fun little version of herself, I give you a body-job, even tease your balls with my feet as I do. If she wins, you can do whatever you feel like with my body."

"Why do I hang out with you?" Izuku groaned as he slumped over, burying his face in his hands.

The drugged brunette giggled, leaning on Izuku and poking his cheek, "Youse just gotta take it in, bro. She is nice to ya, like yer fishy… Ehehehe…"

"Hey, hands off him, slut," the fairy growled.

"But he's so cute and his cheeks so squishy, squishy, squish-squish…" the haze-minded brunette slurred in a soft giggle, poking Izuku's freckles like they were buttons. "But I've gotcha, Eg-chan. His man-meat's all yours."

"Why thank you," the moth girl beamed proudly.

"God, please, tell me when did my life come to this?" Izuku pleaded when looking upwards.

-0-

Once the students were rounded up and placed into buses, with Same swimming after the one Izuku took much to the joy of some girls, the test was about to begin. Everyone put on sporty outfits for the incoming entrance test, and while Izuku wore a green jumpsuit, he was surrounded by either beefcakes or babes. It was no surprise that Egter decided to hitch a ride. The debriefing specified destroying some automatons like a videogame of sorts, even detailing the annoying unbeatable enemy who'd be a nuisance to avoid rather than an actual challenge to overcome. However, it didn't say anything about moral support, and a possessive moth would stick to her chosen man to assert dominance if needed.

"Good luck, Izu-kun," Egter teased the object of her interest with a smarmy smirk, causing him to blush.

"Thanks," he replied meekly. Shaking his head, he took a deep breath and spoke sincerely, "You know… Even if you're not the most upstanding person, I do appreciate moments like this."

"Hush, I prefer to see you be adorably pathetic," the pigtailed girl growled, looking away with a blush.

"Wehehehe, Eg-chan's sooooo cute when she's shy," and Ochaco arrived to pat the diminutive girl on the head like one would a pet. "Anyhoo, let's lick some ass, guys!"

"I believe the expression's kick some ass, Uraraka-san," the freckled boy pointed out.

"Oh, I know what I'm saying!" the girl puffed up her chest with a proud if delirious smile on her face.

The sight of such a bosom caused the moth girl to groan, "Some bitches have all the luck…"

"I'm more worried about how long the effect of your toxins will last," Izuku whispered to the fairy girl.

"Eh, possibly the rest of the day seeing what a lightweight she is," Egter dismissively replied.

"Alrighty, ladies and gentlemen as well as all fans of mine!" Present Mic cheered to the crowd with his ever-present grin just a tad wider. "I'd wish you luck, but that's for those who don't prepare! Do your best if you wanna lose with the rest! No, this time you ought to succeed! So get to it!"

"Wait, just like that?!" Izuku winced while the others zipped past him.

"So long, sucka!" Ochaco cheered while throwing her arms up in the air, running quite faster than any would expect given her current status of drugged hard enough to almost taste rainbows. "That's code for best of luck, best bud!"

"Ah, what do I- Bweh!"

Just like that, with a not so gentle push from Same, Izuku was back in the game. His shark had managed to tackle him at the right angle to send him flying forward and getting him to land on top of him. With a wince, Izuku held on and pulled out his magic wand. Looking at it, he noticed that his familiar was just elated at the idea of playing. On the blue gem there was a set of words conveying the fish's thoughts of "Let's play! Play!"

"Same, you're lucky you're too adorable in this form for me to get mad at you," the green-haired teen said as his shark swam through the concrete.

Once his piece was said to try to save what little dignity he could, the odd duo found themselves in the sights of a large robot rolling around on a wheel with its arms up, "Target detected! Exterminate! Ex-"

*Chomp!*

"Huh, less than five seconds and you've already killed something without trying," Izuku muttered when his shark didn't take the realistic form of a giant white shark to separate the robot's lower body from its top… and chewed on the wheel. "You just wanted a chew toy?!"

Looking at his wand, he found the flashing words of "Mine, mine, mine!"

"Please, halt all cute antics and let's get back on track, Same!" the freckled boy pleaded, grabbing the wheel and attempting to get it out of his familiar's mouth. However, to Same it was a friendly game of tug of war, and Izuku was an easy opponent… one who flew to the side when the shark tilted his head, "Why… did I think that was a good idea?"

Composing himself after landing ass overhead, the boy tried to think of an approach to get his shark to kill robots instead of humans. Same was happily munching away and playing with the tire, happy that his summoner had a round with him. Swimming back to Izuku, the shapeshifting fish wagged his tail and presented the tire for another game. And that gave Izuku an idea.

"Whee!" well, that and seeing an elated Ochaco ride one of the automatons with her hands in the air, seconds before stirring it into a wall to crash it and break it.

"Rodeo time!" Izuku jumped on Same, grabbed the tire, and did what all kids would do in his situation regardless of what era they're from. "Hi-ho Same! Away!"

Riding a shark like a rodeo clown would a bull, Izuku was going mostly out of instinct and the need to be alive than by experience. He had a hand up like a pro bull rider, and Same happily bucked and hopped from side to side. Unfortunately, it was because of his poor grip that the freckled boy appeared to be in charge. Using every muscle fiber in his body to keep himself glued to his shark proved difficult yet still somewhat possible. And, thanks to Same's playful nature, he soon found a target.

"Right, left, right, right, left!" Izuku steered the wheel and sent Same crashing into another robot, which toppled it over and caused it to land as a heap of junk. It was fun enough to do one thing, "Yee-haw!"

Who knew that having a magical pet shark was fun when one was destroying robots instead of going on a normie-killing spree?

Egter observed from high in the air and quirked an eyebrow, "Okay, that is too fucking awesome for such a cute nerd to do."

Two automatons watched everything in interest. The first one was shaped vaguely like a humanoid with one arm being a large gun. The other was shaped like a bin with a mono laser.

The first robot suggested to the other, "Suggestion: We should kill the meat-bag atop the Carcharodon juvenile."

"EXTERIMINATE THE HUMANS! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!"

"Opinion: You are a poor conversational partner even for a fellow mechanical being. Subjective statement: It is still better to talk with you than talk with a meat-bag."

"YOU TALK TOO MUCH. EXTERMINATE. EXTERMINATE!"

"Self-flattering observation: I do prefer to be rather loquacious. Sarcastic acknowledgment: You are exceedingly correct in my speech patterns good friend."

Their conversation seemed to be a parody of a very iconic duo. The result were two robots with a certain degree of comedic functionality.

In light of the comedy that both generated, Same decided to destroy that pair last.

They were funny.

'I lied!'

Rushing through the two of them and tearing them to shreds, Same performed a sharp turn to collide with another large robot. His jaws opened and he spun like a drill, his teeth sawing through its metal chassis with an ear-piercing scream of cold steel being shredded.

Izuku, throughout all this, had managed to keep a hold of Same. The boy's eyes widened when his familiar performed a spectacular leap into the sky, throwing him into the air before he landed back down onto his partner. This time he was facing the tail end of the badass motherfucker he was riding. Same only noticed that his partner was hanging onto his back fin with intense fear when he felt Izuku's hands were clammy.

'Ah.' With clarity that only he could possess, Same performed another great leap and righted Izuku once more. His best friend and him would destroy all the ugly robots!

"ATTENTION HERO AND SHARK BASED PARTNER, YOU HAVE FIFTEEN SECONDS TO SURRENDER OR YOU WILL BE DESTROYED WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE!" A gigantic two-legged abomination with mini-turret arms announced to them, pointing each gun barrel at the two.

Same didn't hesitate to leap forward, ripping out the robot's internal mechanics and forcing out pathetic squeals until it at last dropped dead.

Rubbing his goatee with a laugh, Present Mic chortled, "By the mighty beard of Zeus. That kid might just get the fastest high score I've eve- and that's it, kids! You should all consider retiring. You're not going to destroy any robots faster than he will!"

Izuku hadn't just gotten the high score, he had shattered it. Every robot was successfully destroyed, leaving only a meager amount left for the rest of the students to compete furiously with to try and match.

"Only one thing left to do, then," said another teacher whose lower face was wrapped in bandages. "We shit on their parade."

Pressing a big button by slamming down his fist on it, the entire fake city shook. A still ecstatic Ochaco did a little jump while the windows shuddered, flipping on top of a giant automaton. Katsuki, who was working through his issues of losing his one and only surrogate son, paused from slamming his fist into a robot's head. Same returned to chewing on his new toy while Izuku took a moment to find the nearest trash can and cough out his lunch. Rodeo riding a shark was not easy on his digestion.

After emptying his stomach, the freckled boy turned to the source of the noise and gulped, "Oh crumbs."

It was a gigantic robot, big enough to be considered a freaking kaiju. As it rampaged around the fake city with no regard to the damage, the other teens started to run off in a different direction. Due to his nature as a bully victim most of his life, the green-haired boy was tempted to turn and flee. Unfortunately for at least his sensible side, his heart was too strong. Before him was Same still chewing on the wheel, paying no attention to the colossus of steel. Off to the side, Ochaco was caught by the debris, but she was still a tad too drunk on Egter's toxins.

"Is that a Gundam?!" the girl slurred while seated on a pile of broken concrete, her leg trapped by more debris. "Ah, who can tell?! All mecha-anime are the same! I've only watched Evangelion and Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann, so I know what I'm talking about! Yessir!"

"There are so many errors in what you said, such as not even knowing about Mazinger Z!" Izuku snapped, simultaneously rushing to help her pry her foot from the rubble. "Or at least check some good anime with mecha which actually deconstruct the tropes a bit like Patlabor or- Why am I going nerd mode?!"

Both stopped their ranting as the shadow of the iron giant loomed over them, but this one wasn't the kind one voiced by a bald actor, which Ochaco noted with squinted eyes, "I stay, you go…"

"Ah!" Izuku closed his eyes and covered the brunette with his body.

Seeing that made Egter's blood boil, "He's lucky I can tell he's just being a dumb hero and that his pet is a good boy."

Indeed! For observing the threat his master was under, Same was spurred into action!

'YIPEE-KYE-YAY! MOTHERFUCKER!'

Jumping into the robot's nearest leg by tearing right through it, the shark swam upwards at high speeds, his body morphing while inside the steel. Jaws tore apart giant pistons, tentacles ripped off circuits and plates, and the fin was seen slicing through the metal exterior. Everyone and their mother gaped at the sight of the shark going up… and then leaping out of the robot's head with a new chew toy!

All was good in Same's world as he found a large rubber band to sink his teeth into. Those who witnessed the ordeal had only seen a cute fish dig in, and the still adorable critter hop out. Due to Same's low attention span, the magical shark was more than content to play with his new toy once he was sure that whatever threatened his summoner was properly dead. Speaking of, the mech started to shoot out sparks while it slowly collapsed backwards, folding into itself due to the internal damage that the sea monster caused.

Izuku was relieved to be alive, but part of him couldn't help but stare blankly at the stupidly endearing scene of his aquatic partner from another world roll around on the streets while thrashing the gigantic rubber band, "Did that just happen?"

"Aw, he's so cute for a murder machine!" Ochaco giggled, then poked Izuku's freckles. "Yer lucky! I've gotta get my own magic mascot… It better not be an asshole rabbit-like contractor who wants to screw me over with time travel, though…"

"You need help," the salad-haired teen told her.

"I'm fine, I can quit whenever I wanna, but I'd like some more of that good shit, yo!" the girl even did a rapping pose at the end with finger gun gestures.

Putting his foot down, the boy frowned, "You may need to quit cold turkey."

"Noooo… Don't wanna…" the girl whined like a pouty child.

-0-

Once everything was set and done, Izuku met up with Egter, "You did well, for an obvious virgin."

Sighing, the freckled boy knew he'd get this treatment from the fairy girl regardless of what happened, "I think I made it, though. What about you?"

"You can see me with the other backup heroes," the moth girl shrugged. Then, she cackled like a witch at the sight of fat children running into her candy home, "Honestly, that's the best I can do to keep a close eye on you, my gold-egg-laying goose. Kukuku…"

"Of course that'd be one of your reasons," Izuku rubbed the back of his neck with a small smile. "I'm still glad I get to see you more, though. Weird as it is, having someone to talk about Same feels liberating."

Blushing since she knew the boy meant every word, Egter resorted to the typical tsundere response, "I'd like you to avoid thinking I'm fond of you. You're useful to me, and a possible fuck-buddy if I feel like it."

"Wouldn't he be too big for ya, Eg-chan?" Ochaco stepped in with a lopsided grin, leaning on Izuku and hugging the fairy close to them, smothering the moth girl to her generous breasts. "I mean, you're a tough gal, yes, and let no dick tell you when that's too much for ya, but… Izu-kun's a big boy… I think…"

Izuku had a more pressing question, "Seriously, when does your venom dry off?"

"At this point, she may have awakened her real self, like taking off the mask of her persona to reveal the true self and make a pact with her," Egter shrugged as best she could while smothered by soft tit flesh.

"Eg-chan, I reached for the truth while riding that high…" Ochaco told her new friend. "Imma be your best friend and also protect Izu-kun's secret. Same-chan's a good fishy and kept me safe, right? Izu-kun and his fishy are heroes!"

"Wait… you mean it?" Izuku was moved to the point of tears.

Rolling her eyes, Egter grunted, "Oh boy, here come the waterworks. Please don't cry on me. I don't want to drown."

"Let your tears flow like a manly man doing manly things and stuff!" Ochaco beamed, punching the air.

It seemed that his new school life would be more than chaotic, but Izuku could take it.

"Oh fuck! A shark! AAAAAAAHHH!"

"Kyah, Yusha-dono! The legendary hero from another world is- GAAAAGH!"

Or as normal as it could be with a killer shark from another world who loved to eat normies.

-TBC-

And that's my rap!

Before you ask about the obvious references, yes, I may have other ripoffs get eaten by Same for the fun of it. Now, do I hate Jake Long the American Dragon? I'm indifferent to him, but I wanted to ruin your childhood – yes, yours in particular, and you know who you are - one way or another, mwehehehe…

Swordslinger out!