Episode 7

"You want to show me being clumsy? Why?"

"It's part of your character!" Femt says cheerily.

Black frowns. "You just want to see me make a fool of myself."

"That too."

"Ugh, more burgers?" Leo groans. "I'm so sick of them after last episode."

"They're prop burgers this time." Nej points out.

"But still, that was a lot of burgers. I bet you're sick of them too after having to say burger so many times."

"Burger no longer feels like a real word." The kid confirms.

"Does White really have a bad heart?" Leo frets.

"No!" The girl calls. "I'm fit as a fiddle!"

"Where'd that saying come from, anyway?" Black wonders randomly.

"Good question…"

"Am I the only one who thinks this looks like a first date?" Chain whispers from offset.

"Nah, I see it too." Zapp says casually.

"CUT! I agree with you both, but we're TRYING to film here!"

Leo and Black turn bright red and start sputtering.

"So I get telekinesis? Awesome!" Black cheers.

"You suck at using it." Femt pops his bubble.

"Aw, screw you!" Black kicks him in the shin.

"Ow ow ow!"

Black goes in for another kick but Klaus lifts him up and drags him away. He goes limp like a kitten.

Leo snorts. "Thing is, Femt, you deserved that."

"Why are you offering alcohol to a minor, Klaus?" K.K. snaps. "You could stunt the growth of his brain!"

"In my defense, if he's old enough to fight vampires, I guess I figured he was old enough to drink."

"I'm nineteen." Leo deadpans.

"Besides which, that was only in the script and the prop was full of fizzy water." Klaus continues.

K.K. lowers her fake gun. "Valid point."

"Take a good long hit off all of his charisma!" Zapp cries.

Chain stares. "...what."

"Zapp got to improv that last line." Femt explains.

"I can tell…" She groans.

Klaus trips and drops the business card. "Ow."

The bouncer catches it. "Uh, boss, why does a secret society have a business card?"

"To add humor to the episode!"

The robot announcer stops, sparking, and collapses to the ground.

"Great. CUT!"

Black and Leo run onset carrying a new one. They clear the old one away and set the new one up.

"Why're you two doing the job of the Props Department?" Gilbert asks curiously.

"Femt is cheap and makes us work in Props instead of professionals." Black explains.

"Ah. Seems rather like him."

"Damn, Klaus is tough." Gregor Maximus mutters.

Beside him, Zapp nods, gaping. "He threw all those punches...in a second!"

"No special effects needed for that!" Femt cheers.

"Holy shit." Everyone stares at Klaus, who blushes.

"It's nothing…" He mutters.

The extras cheer. "I may have lost my shirt, but I'm glad I was here!"

"You what?"

"He bet his shirt away." Femt explains.

"Idiot." Chain snorts.

"So wait, the entire time this little Blood Breed dude was corpse-puppeting Ozmaldo? That is so metal." Zapp says.

Ozmaldo the voice actor shrugs. "It's weird."

"Still cool though?"

"HELL yes." Gregor Maximus nods. He takes a sip from his fake beer.

"I hate these contacts and wish I didn't have to wear them." Black grumbles.

"Suck up and deal with it, you big baby!" Femt yells.

Gregor whacks him up the head. "Rein it in!"

"Never!"

"Aligura gave me permission to hit you harder if you prefer."

"How do you know Aligura and Femt, Gregor?" Leo asks curiously.

"I'm their older brother." He says nonchalantly. "And since little bro here needs some supervision, I'll be staying on."

"Gregooor!"

"Feeeemt!" Gregor mimics.

"Well, good to have you onboard." White chirps, fake drool on her face.

"You, uh, got a little something…" Leo points to his cheek.

"Dammit I thought I got it all off!"

A/N: Yes we're keeping Gregor. I liked his philosophical explanation of fist-fights.