Peeta's POV
"So, whose idea was it to sneak off for a little honeymoon, you or the Mockingjay? Oh wait-I forgot your marriage is fake," Haymitch says wryly over the phone. Oh God, he hasn't joked about that whole fiasco in a while. My initial thought is that he must be furious with us.
"Haymitch, I just wanted Katniss and I to be together. We have to sort through some things anyway..." I try to explain carefully. Although, I trail off, realizing that Katniss and I haven't even discussed the official status of our relationship.
"I see, and you didn't want your grumpy old mentor setting boundaries," Haymitch replies in a lighter tone, and I can almost see him smirking on the other side of the receiver. "However, I did not appreciate having to deal with the aftermath of your mysterious disappearance from the hospital. Hell, I had to track down the head of security so they didn't begin a city-wide search party. You better not have a setback before you guys reach Twelve otherwise Dr. Aurelius and whoever else is going to put you under strict care," he tells me gruffly.
"Thanks, Haymitch. I think you were right before in thinking that the trip had to end. The three of us were never meant to stay in the Capitol for too long. I hope Katniss and I didn't cause you too much trouble," I chuckle.
"You kidding? You two always cause me trouble," he remarks annoyed, but I can tell there is a hint of endearment.
"Ah, I guess you're right. Well, see you later, Haymitch," I say, ready to sign off.
"Bye Peeta-oh, and be sure to keep an eye out on that girl of yours. And um... just know that she loves you way more than she lets on. She'd do anything for you, even if it ruined her," he tells me with a gentle, sincere tone.
I'm not sure what to make of this. Katniss has never been open about her affections. We have been more physical lately, and for once not for the sake of the cameras. Although, I had a difficult time getting her to express her feelings when she visited me earlier. Even though back then she promised to protect me, and even was willing to die in the games so that I could live, I always perceived it as her partially guilt-driven attempt to pay me back for what I've done for her. The other part I have often speculated as her rebellious way to defy Snow and the Capitol. I never really believed she sacrificed for me out of pure love...
A simple, yet powerful image flashes before me. I see Katniss, her cheeks red and sparkling with tears as she sobs over me. I reach up and stroke her sorrowful face.
"You were dead-you were dead. Your heart stopped!"
The way her whole body shook in my arms as I embraced her. For once, she didn't even bother to maintain a strong, stoic stance. She seemed so terrified that I had nearly left her forever. My thoughts dissolve, and I blink as I look out the train window.
"Okay, I will... um, thanks I guess. Bye," I hang up. I hand over the phone to the cleaning lady who stands awkwardly a few feet away. She hurries off as I return to my room and Katniss.
"What did he say?" She wonders as I settle into the bed.
"He's a little disgruntled that we took off without him and having to deal with the hospital freaking out, but other than that he's okay," I shrug, picking up a large muffin. Katniss nods, appearing deep in thought. I decide to let her think in peace as I pick apart the rest of my muffin in silence.
Katniss and I hastily pack up our things as we approach Twelve. Our excitement is all too apparent as we sit in the chairs near the closest compartment exit. As we step off onto the familiar small platform, everything smells and feels like home. I realize that just standing here with Katniss only enhances my experiences even more. If I had been here alone it wouldn't have been nearly the same.
Some people greet us kindly in town, many ask me about the bombing incident because apparently it spread like a wildfire on the news. They ask how the Capitol is fairing with the recent issues. I try to remain vague and simply reply by assuring that President Paylor is doing the best she can to solve every problem. I suddenly remember Katniss and Haymitch's help in tracking down the violent rioters, and I decide to brag about the two of them a bit.
Katniss turns slightly pale upon hearing my words, and I regret mentioning anything because I forget that she must hate me directing so much unwanted attention towards her. I try to kindly inform people that we have to head home before they bombard her with too many questions.
When we reach the Victor's Village, Katniss and I meet each other's gaze before we head in opposite directions.
"Come over for dinner?" I ask her hopefully. She gives me a shy smile and nods. As I step across the threshold of my home, relief floods my body. Everything is in the exact place where I left it. In the study, my unfinished artwork sits eagerly on my easel, ready for me to complete it. I wander into the kitchen to search around for something to cook, but my shelves are empty since I haven't been around in a while.
Dammit, what will we eat? I decide to knock on Katniss's door and sheepishly explain my dilemma. She lets out a laugh and admits that she has the exact problem.
"You know, we could head out into the woods. I'll hunt and gather something for us, and we can build a fire," she offers, her eyes lighting up. I grin because I know she's probably just dying to hunt. Unfortunately, I might dampen her excitement with my presence. I've never exactly been the hunting type.
"You sure you'd let me come with you? I mean, you know how loud I am," I give a slight laugh, gesturing my prosthetic. Katniss's eyes travel down my metal leg. She shakes her head.
"I don't mind. If it gets really bad, you can just prepare the fire for the meat while I'm busy," she suggests.
"I can do that," I tell her, suddenly feeling elated. I've never been in the wilderness outside Twelve. Sometimes, when I was younger, Merchant boys at school would dare one another to hop it when it wasn't charged, scream out a curse word at the top of their lungs, and escape back to the Meadow before the Peacekeepers discovered them. A fun game for a teenage boy, but ridiculous and pathetic compared to the reason why Katniss and Gale were forced to climb the fence everyday.
"You might need to get some sturdy shoes and a jacket," Katniss informs me.
"Okay, no problem. Should we meet near the fountain?" I ask, referring to the stone structure near the entrance to the village. Katniss nods and, I leave her to go get ready.
I feel uncertain, yet honored as Katniss leads me through her wooded terrain. This forest seems sacred to her, a place that somehow remains in its own moment in time. A time when perhaps Katniss wasn't quite yet affected by the hardships life so mercilessly threw at her.
I witness her miraculously change before me as I stumble about, trying to keep up with her. She is mysteriously quiet as she bounds between the trees, with a content smile on her face. Her muscles seem to relax, as if the stress of these past weeks has suddenly melted away. She moves free and gracefully. I grin to myself as she reaches a clearing and sprawls out on the long, thin blades of grass.
"Peeta, come here," she calls from the ground. I head over, pausing to stand over her.
"This transformation is amazing," I tell her truthfully. Never would I have imagined the drunk, desolate girl from only a few months ago would have ended up like this. Katniss cocks up an eyebrow.
"What transformation?"
"You. You seem so... happy," I explain, laying down beside her. A few fireflies dance above us, and I catch one in my palm. I hand it to Katniss, who holds it up to her gaze for inspection. The bug lights up and makes her whole face glow yellow. She then releases it, her silver gaze following it intently as the firefly dances with the others.
I know I must kiss her now because this moment is all too beautiful. My fingers slide up her neck into her hairline. Our lips mold together, and I gently pull her body on top of me. As we kiss, an electric glow burns through the both of us, the color of the fireflies' light. My hands roam, squeezing the curves of her waist, her thighs, and then traveling back up to her grip her tangled hair. She moans my name as I begin to kiss her jawline and neck, and I recall how long I have desired a moment like this. I want to have my lips on her forever. Yet, somehow, we are yanked out of our trance, and we soon carefully break away before it becomes too heated.
I'm not sure either of us are ready to go farther, but my heart surges as I think about how long it took us to finally get here. I still can't believe she actually desires my touch when for so long she seem repulsed by it. I kiss her forehead tenderly before she suggests that we start on dinner.
Near the edge of the woods, I scrape together a bunch of pine needles and then proceed to strategically pile various sticks on top of one another. I'm actually fairly good at making fires. Like baking or painting, there's a certain process you need to follow.
As I light my wood creation on fire, I keep an eye on Katniss as she ventures deep into the trees. I shouldn't be worried-she'll be completely fine-but after all those games my brain still likes to trick me into thinking she and I are never exactly safe.
I release a breath I didn't realize I was holding when I hear the crunching of boots. Katniss returns carrying two large rabbits. I'm surprised she spotted them in this dim light, but then again she's an expert even at hunting in the dark.
She lays her bow and arrows against the trunk of a large maple, and I offer to help skin one of the rabbits. Soon, we feast on the freshly cooked meat. It's not anything compared to the gourmet stuff we've been fed in the Capitol lately, but for some reason I like this meal better. Everything about this evening, from roaming through the woods, to laying on the fresh earth with Katniss, to eating the game she caught, revives my spirit with a new sense of tranquility and happiness.
I may be falling more deeply in love with Katniss than even before my hijacking. I'm not sure how that's possible, considering my love for her was already so intense. My eyes discover her untangling her dark waves before cleaning her arrows in the hot coals of the fire. I lean towards her and kiss her again, catching her off guard. She tenses before melting into me. I try to guide her on top of me like before, but she hesitantly removes herself from me.
"Peeta," she whispers, her voice nearly shaking. I instantly stop, worried that I took it too far too soon. I would never do anything to make her uncomfortable.
"What is it?"
"I haven't been completely honest with you," she gets out, looking down at her lap. My eyebrows furrow.
"What do you mean?" I ask her quietly. She breathes in, wrapping her arms around herself. I grow more concerned when she doesn't answer for a moment, her teeth gnawing at her lower lip. Unfortunately, this wouldn't be the first time Katniss has lied to me.
"Look, I don't want to lie to you anymore. It was stupid in the past... and it's stupid now. I'm just... I'm just worried that you might have an episode if I tell you. For your sake, I've been keeping something from you," she gradually explains, a sense of fear in her voice.
"Okay..." I begin. I want her to tell me because of how anxious she seems, although I'm not sure if the truth will set me off or not. It depends on how bad it is. Sometimes, if I become extremely angry or distressed, my emotions can force me into a flashback.
"I want you to tell me the truth, but I don't want to go mad and hurt you either. So..." I think to myself how to solve this. I conclude to get up and walk over to the opposite side of the fire. I grab the trunk of a tree so I have something to squeeze in case it gets bad.
"I'll be here. You stay over there. Don't come near me if I go crazy. You run Katniss, okay?" I tell her firmly. She looks at me through the flickering flames with a pained expression, almost as if apologizing for my situation. I want to remind her that it isn't her fault. Snow did this to me. He took me away from Katniss and transformed me into a murderous mutt to hurt her. But with her help I'm overcoming my troubles. Only with her do I remember who I once was.
"Okay," she finally assents.