This is a three part short story series inspired by one of my favorite segments from American Dad. Have fun with that folks, as always R

Silver groaned looking at his paper, in mild disgust. "I can't turn this in, it's all about my dad killing people."

Nero sighed sitting up as he looked at his partner. "Just call your dad again, and get him to talk about something else." The young Arc scion suggested, as Silver fished out his scroll.

At the same buffet, at the same table Mercury was eating a plate of egg rolls until his scroll started to ring. Without even looking up from his plate he'd pulled it out, and answered. "Hello?"

"Hey dad." Silver said on the other line.

"Son, glad you called," Mercury began as he picked up another egg roll and started dunking it in sauce. "I was kinda bummin. Thinking about your Mom."

This caused Nero to grow concerned, his mind going to the worst case scenario. "What?! Why?!"

Mercury sighed as he sat back in his chair. "I feel our love making has lost all its intimacy." Hearing Mercury say that phrase got the rest of team BLAZ's attention. "We're not in tune to each other's love energies. Slamming away—."

"Dad! I'm here with the guys on speaker phone." Silver said trying to ignore his friends' shock.

"Hey guys." Mercury greeted the rest of his son's team cheerily. "Yeah love making sure can turn into sex without you noticing it."

By this point Silver saw his teammates were smiling looking very happy to hear Mercury go on. "And why not, sex with your mom feels great. It's easy to think that is love."

By this point Silver reached for his scroll to hang up only for Nero to stop him, and take the scroll as he joined the girls on the floor so they could continue listening unimpeded. "And then there's the performer in me always trying to get your mom turned on. I'd pull her hair, choke her light, or not so lightly."

Silver held up a paper, and to find a question from it to try changing the subject. "Dad, when you were my age what was the cost for a loaf of bread?" He'd asked in vain

Mercury hadn't heard Silver as he continued on about his love life with Emerald. "The focus becomes how hot she gets, how many times I can make her shudder with pleasure." The rest of team BLAZ started to snicker silently at what they were hearing.

"Alright this is enough." Silver glared at his team as he got up to get his scroll only for Zephyr to tackle him to the ground.

Nero tried his best to do an impersonation of Silver before asking Mercury a question. "Dad, what do mom's boobs look like?"

"I'll tell you Nero, they're perfect. Chocolatey twins with blue veins running over them like cooking streams I can wash my face in." Mercury answered not even phased that his son's best friend had asked what his wife's boobs look like.