Hello i am inuhirness (female dog hero)

unfortunately i will be unable to update regularly as our home computor has no internet access and i have a limited time ti use other computors as of august 1 2013

i love unuasual pairings

NEW School prayer:

Now I sit me down in school

Where praying is against the rule

For this great nation under God

Finds mention of Him very odd.

If Scripture now the class recites,

It violates the Bill of Rights.

And anytime my head I bow

Becomes a Federal matter now.

Our hair can be purple, orange or green,

That's no offense; it's a freedom scene...

The law is specific, the law is precise..

Prayers spoken aloud are a serious vice.

For praying in a public hall

Might offend someone with no faith at all.

In silence alone we must meditate,

God's name is prohibited by the state.

We're allowed to cuss and dress like freaks,

And pierce our noses, tongues and cheeks..

They've outlawed guns, but FIRST the Bible.

To quote the Good Book makes me liable.

We can elect a pregnant Senior Queen,

And the 'unwed daddy,' our Senior King.

It's 'inappropriate' to teach right from wrong,

We're taught that such 'judgments' do not belong.

We can get our condoms and birth controls,

Study witchcraft, vampires and totem poles.

But the Ten Commandments are not allowed,

No word of God must reach this crowd.

It's scary here I must confess,

When chaos reigns the school's a mess.

So, Lord, this silent plea I make:

Should I be shot; My soul please take!

Amen.

If you aren't ashamed to do this, Please pass this on. Jesus said, 'If you are ashamed of me, I will be ashamed of you before my Father.'

Not ashamed... Pass this on.

PLEASE READ AND PASS THIS ON, TRUER WORDS WERE NEVER SPOKEN!

Things I'm not allowed to do at Hogwarts.

1) Seamus Finnigan is not after me lucky charms

2) I do not weigh the same as a duck. Nor should I try to act like one.

3) "I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.

4) I will not sing "we're off to see the wizard" when sent to the Headmaster's office.

5) I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class

6) I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss

7) Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda

8) Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar

9) First years are not allowed to be fed to Fluffy

10) I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his "time of the month"

11) I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals

12) I will not sing the Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin quidditch matches

13) The Giant Squid is not an approriate date to the Yule Ball

14) When Death-Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout "To the Bat Moblie, Robin!"

15) When a class-mate falls asleep, I shall not take advantage of the fact and draw a Dark Mark on his arm.

16) It's not necessary for me to yell "BURN!" every time Snape takes house points from Gryffindor

17) Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is simply coincidental

18) I will not call the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny. Even if he is wearing an orange anorak

19) I will not refer to the Weasley Twins as "bookends"

20) I will wont dress up in a Dementor's suit and use a dustbuster on Harry's lips to make him do what I want.

21) I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book.

22) I will not hold my wand in the air before I casting spells shouting "I got the power!"

23) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that the Knights who say Ni have challenged him to a duel and then have students yell "Ni!" from various directions.

24) I am not Xena: Warrior Princess and I shall not use war cries to signal my entrance when I enter a classroom

25) Its not necessary for me to yell "Bam!" everytime I apparate.

26) I will not steal Griffyndor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallway.

27) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music when wandering the halls.

28) "To conquer the earth with flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice.

29) I am not allowed to begin Herbology class by singing the theme song to "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes"

30) I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue and call them smurfs.

31) The Whomping Willow is not an Entwife

32) "Draco Malfoy, Take it up the Arse" is not an acceptable quidditch chant.

34) I am not Allowed to lock Harry Potter and Draco Malfoyin a closet to see if hot gay sex will occur.

34) It is a mad idea to tell Proffesor Mcgonagal that she takes herself too seriously

35) "Ya'll check this crap out!" is not an aprropriate way to announce that I am about to conduct an expirimental spell.

36) I will not say the phrase "Dude, get a life" to Voldemort.

37) I will not offer to pose nude for Collin Creevy.

38) I am no longer allowed to use the words "pimp cane" in front of Draco Malfoy.

39) Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from The Phantom of the Opera.

40) Dumbledore does not have "nakie time".

WAYS TO GET KICKED OUT OF HOGWARTS!

1. Throw shampoo and conditioner at Snape

2. Unleash Fluffy on unsuspecting first year.

3. Attempt to cut off Dumbledore’s beard off while he is talking to you.

4. In Harry Potter’s fifth year, say that your book project is on Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows. Reveal the plot of the entire book. Tell Harry that you are very sorry for his losses. Give him a cookie.

5. Run up to the ghosts and stare. Repeatedly stick your hand and arm through them and giggle, “it tickles!” If anyone asks, Dean did it.

6. Freeze Sirius in dog form. Get him fixed.

7. Photoshop Professor Snape into a Playboy poster.

8. Take a picture of a dog chasing a cat to class and tell everyone that Sirius has a thing for McGonagall.

9. Answer all your charms homework with 42, sea turtles, or duct tape as the answers.

10. Set Dumbledore on fire.

11. Yell "Spoon" at random times.

Stuff The Dark Side Did

1. We were in charge of the 'Other guy' winning the election' thing.

2. We invented vampires. Sadly, they were hunted to extinction.

3. We also invented salt and butter, who set out to ruin your precise measurements.

4. We tricked you. We didn't invent vampires. We are vampires.

5. We destroyed Greece. Okay, we didn't, but we are 60% responsible for it.

6. We stole a whole bunch of ancient artifacts. We have a museum for them. Free admission.

7. We brainwashed you into reading this.

8. We gave birth to bacteria. It was pretty easy.

9. We killed Abraham Lincoln. Trust us, it was hard.

10. We also killed a whole bunch of scientists. They wouldn't join us, so we fed them to our recruitment bunny.

11. We have been watching you since the day you were born. You felt slimy back then.

12. We invented vegetables. Before that, they tasted like lemonade. Now they taste... ugh.

13. We also invented It's A Small World After All, which annoys everyone.

14. We started the Revolutionary War by killing England's king and impersonating him. It was very annoying since I had just started dating the richest man alive, who was in jail for insulting the king.

15. We infected you with a virus that will cause your nervous system to slowly break down. It's remote control activated. It also causes extreme pain. Sorry.

16. We also hired the actors of Avatar: The Last AirBenders: The Movie. We also blackmailed Arceus with Harry Potter's man-spheres, so now EVERYONE has to watch it!

17. And yes, we DID corrupt Arcues when he was a wrinkly baby...

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