CHAPTER 6

We walked a few blocks down from the house. "Is it alright if I ask about the baby?"

"Yes. I have nothing to hide." It was true, I had no secrets from this man.

"How did you get pregnant?" I was a bit frustrated since I had already answered that question earlier. He must be checking to see if I would change my story.

"I was raped two weeks after I saw you in Point Pleasant. When I finished my shift, my coworker left before helping me clean and close the bakery. Two men were waiting by my mom's car that I borrowed for the night. One man held me down as the other man tore off my pants and stuck his tongue and fingers in me. I tried to fight and scream, but the other man covered my mouth and laid across my back, pressing my chest into the ground. When the first man achieved his goal using his mouth and fingers, he pulled open his pants and shoved his penis into my ass. It burned and hurt a lot. After he ejaculated, he pulled himself together and allowed the other man to have a turn. The second guy flipped me over, then first guy held my hands over my head and covered my mouth. I've known his family for years. He sexually assaulted me when I was six too. His friend, the second guy, held a knife to my abdomen while he freed himself then roughly shoved into me. It was painful. He was happy to 'pop my cherry' and even bragged to the other guy. After a few thrusts, he ejaculated as the hand holding the knife slipped and cut me. Hector stopped the men from further abusing me."

"Can I see it?" I nodded as he carefully lifted my shirt to see a red scar along my left rib cage.

He leaned down to kiss my scar. "I'm sorry Querida. Do you know their names?"

"Yes. Joseph Morelli and a man named Dickie. The cut doesn't hurt anymore."

"What did your parents say?"

"I left early the next morning to live with my Grandma. My bio-dad found poems written in several men's washrooms outlining what Joe did. When my bio-mom found out what happened, she spread rumours saying I was prostituting myself. People actually believed her. I found out I was pregnant five weeks after the rape. My bio-mom found out about my pregnancy after the first OB/GYN appointment. Some blabbermouth Burg bitch told her aunt who, in turn, told bio-mom. That girl's aunt just happens to Joe's mother. Bio-mom disowned me and trashed talked me around the Burg. My bio-dad thought it would be best for me if they put me up for adoption. Hector helped me get to the school for pregnant teens. He called your Tia Ella and asked her to pick me up. I now realize she doesn't typically get that involved with pregnant teens. Hector told her I was special."

Ricky pulled me into a hug, "I told him about you. He knew you worked at Tasty Pastry and promised to watch out for you. I hadn't heard from him until today."

He looked angry. "Ricky, let it go. It won't help either of us to stay angry. I was planning to abort the baby, but whenever I went for the appointment, I couldn't go through with it. God must have a reason for giving me this child. It's my job as a mom to make sure this baby has the best life I can provide."

"I want to help you." Ricky was serious about helping me with my child.

"Only if it doesn't prevent you from getting an education. I want you to keep the plans you have already made. If you still want to be with me, then that would be alright with me. I have Mama and Papa to help me with the baby."

"They love you as if you were their biological child," he observed.

"I know. I love them too." My new parents treat me better than my biological ones.

Ricky pulled me close and kissed me. I returned his kiss. When his tongue touched my lip, I opened my mouth to allow him access. I moaned when his tongue touched mine. He deepened the kiss. We broke apart to catch our breath. "One day I would like to show you how great sex can be. I'll wait until you're ready."

"Are you still a virgin?" I was curious.

"No. When I was in a gang, they forced me to pleasure the leader's bitch. Luckily, she was kind and showed me how to properly please a woman. I only had sex with her once and we used a condom. She was the only one. I vowed the next time I have sex, it would be with a woman I love. I'll wait for you Querida. You being pregnant doesn't change how I feel about you."

"Ricky," I sobbed into his neck.

He stroked my back to calm me. "Mama wants me to come back for your birthday. Is it alright with you?"

"My birthday's on a Wednesday this year. Would you be allowed to skip school?"

"When is your birthday? Mama said it was two months after mine."

I laughed, "Exactly two months after yours. October 31st. I was born on Hallowe'en." He kissed me until my legs got weak. "Ricky, if you keep kissing me like that, you'll have to carry me home."

"Babe, will you be my girlfriend?"

"Yes Ricky, I'll be your girlfriend." His bright smile melted me. My man was gorgeous. He planted another kiss on my lips before grabbing my hand and leading me back home.

Mama heard me open the front door. "Did you and Ricky have a good walk hija?"

I blushed, "Yes Mama, we did."

He answered, "Si Tia Ella." We went into the backyard so Ricky could finally open his gifts.

"Ricky! You should have said something. We could've gone for a walk after you opened your gifts." I was upset he put my needs ahead of his own.

He shrugged, "Taking a walk with you was more important. I had questions that needed answers first." Ricky opened the gifts from his family. His parents bought him the boots he wanted. Mama and Papa gave him a one year membership to a gym in Miami. Tia Sophia gave him a new baseball bat and glove. I gave him a framed photo of the two of us that was taken at Point Pleasant. Tia Maria gave me the photo. Ricky looked at me when he opened it. He held it over his heart. The frame had the words 'Te quiero, mi amor, mi amigo, te amo, mi novio, amor joven and siempre tuyo. I had a copy of the same photo on my night stand.

He pulled me into his arms and whispered, "I love you. You may think it's too soon, but my heart knows this to be true."

I whispered back, "I love you too." I could feel his love through his hug. Every cell in my body was telling me our love is the forever kind of love.

Since his birthday, I talked to Ricky daily. We set aside time to call each other. He returned to Newark every second weekend to visit me. I wondered how his family could afford to fly him here all the time.

Last week, I discovered Papa scheduling his next flight. "Papa? Are you paying for Ricky's flight?"

"Si hija. We've been paying for all his flights."

"Why? Flying here every two weeks is expensive." It was too much. A long distance relationship wasn't worth the expense.

"Hija, it is not your concern. We have plenty of money. My father sold his company before he passed away and left me with a sizeable bank balance. We could afford to purchase daily flights for at least ten years. Let us do this for you. I understand your old family never gave you anything other than the clothes on your back. We enjoy spending our money on you." Papa is a very generous man.

"Thank you Papa." I went back to my room singing. 'Close your eyes, give me your hand, darling. Do you feel my heart beating, do you understand? Do you feel the same, Am I only dreaming, Is this burning an eternal flame. I believe it's meant to be, darling, I watch you when you are sleeping. You belong with me. Do you feel the same? Am I only dreaming. Or is this burning an eternal flame? Say my name. Sun shines through the rain. A whole life so lonely. And then come and ease the pain. I don't want to lose this feeling, oh. Say my name. Sun shines through the rain. A whole life so lonely. And then come and ease the pain. I don't want to lose this feeling, oh. Close your eyes, give me your hand, darling. Do you feel my heart beating, do you understand? Do you feel the same, Am I only dreaming, Is this burning an eternal flame? Close your eyes, give me your hand, darling. Do you feel my heart beating, do you understand? Do you feel the same, Am I only dreaming, Is this burning an eternal flame? Close your eyes, give me your hand, darling. Do you feel my heart beating, do you understand? Do you feel the same, Am I only dreaming, an eternal flame?'

I was unaware Mama called Ricky while I was singing. He heard nearly the entire song. He said, "Tia, her voice is beautiful."

"Si Ricky. It is," she agreed.

Mama convinced me to take a music class. At first I complained, "But Mama, I have no music ability. I took piano lessons many years ago, but I couldn't learn. There isn't a musical bone in my body. I'm completely tone deaf and can't carry a tune."

"Hija, Papa and I hear you sing that Bangles song 'Eternal Flame' all the time. You have a beautiful voice." I was so embarrassed. Valerie said my singing sounded like cats screeching. I refused to join the church choir as a result. If Mama was right, then I could have taken that music vocal course last year. I've been completing a new course every three weeks.

Since the end of July, I completed Math, Biology, Chemistry, English and I just started Music. My teacher was surprised by my talent. "You have a beautiful voice Stephanie. I was surprised when you told me you never took voice lessons."

"I was always told I couldn't sing," I admitted.

"Who would tell you such lies?" The teacher was completely outraged.

"Valerie, my bio-sister. She said my singing sounded like screeching cats."

"She was probably jealous." I wrote several theory exams to receive my music credit.

My birthday arrived before I knew it. I had my sonogram during my check up last week. The doctor confirmed my due date and said I was having a girl. Mama and Papa are over the moon excited about having a granddaughter. When I told Mama the sex of the baby, she said, "I pray she looks like you hija. A little beauty just like her mama." I framed my sonogram and added placed it on my dresser.

Ricky knocked on my bedroom door as I was looking at the sonogram again. "Querida, what are you looking at?"

"Mi hija." I handed him the sonogram photo.

"You're having a little girl?"

"Si. There is a small margin of error if the testicles haven't dropped yet. Based on the heart rate she's convinced it's a girl." He kissed me quickly before placing his hands on my baby bump. "Hola niña. Si tu mamá lo permite, yo soy tu papá. Ya te amo porque amo a tu mamá. (Hi little girl. If your mama allows it, I am your Papa. I already love you because I love your Mama.)

My heart is full of love for this man. He may only be seventeen, but he has willingly taken on the role of father to my unborn baby that isn't biologically his. "I love you Ricky." I'm not sure why I'm so surprised. My adoptive parents love me as though I'm their own.

He kissed me again. "Happy birthday my love." Breaking the kiss, he moved to close and lock my door. "Please Querida, let me make love to you." I pulled him close and kissed him deeply. "If I do anything you don't like, please tell me."

"I promise you I will. Oh, I almost forgot, I'm clean. My latest STD screening came back negative again." We've been getting tests every few weeks to ensure nothing was lingering from our only sexual encounters.

"As did mine."

He gently pulled off my top. His hands brushing lightly over my tender breasts. I moaned in pleasure. Concerned he was hurting me he asked, "Am I hurting you?"

"No. It feels good." He smiled before adding his lips to my breasts. When he pulled a nipple into his mouth, I arched my back, pressing it further into his mouth. He let my nipple go with a pop before sucking the other one into his mouth. My body convulsed as the orgasm ripped through me.

I could feel his smile through his kisses. "Are you alright mi amor?" He wanted to ensure he wasn't scaring me.

"Yes. I'm alright." He put his fingers into the waist band of my yoga pants. My heart sped up. I was slightly scared and I couldn't stop my body from trembling.

"I must ask first, is it okay to remove your pants?" I nodded since my tongue was stuck. "I must hear your answer love."

"Yes. I want you to remove my pants," I stuttered as I lifted my shaking hips to assist. He kissed his way down my body as he removed my pants. The entire time he paused between kisses to look in my face.

Purposely he avoided the apex of my legs, not wanting to push me too fast. My body loved what Ricky was doing. I could feel my panties dampen. My arousal becoming more obvious. "Please Ricky."

"Tell me what you want love. I won't do anything until you tell me." Consent was very important to Ricky and me. He didn't want our encounter to remind me of the one to produce my daughter.

"Please Ricky. I want your mouth on me. I want you to touch me," I begged.

He kissed his way back up my legs then slowly pulled my panties off. "Like this?" He asked as he stroked my slit.

"Yes. But I need more." I moaned as he licked my folds. His tongue gently lapping my arousal. He continued as he gently slid a finger into me, pausing when I flinched. Ricky waited for my consent to continue before massaging me in the right spot. I ran my fingers through his hair as I pulled him closer to me. He added another finger and gently curled his fingers as another orgasm ripped through my body.

"Mi amor. I need you. Can I make love to you now?" Once again, he was asking for permission.

I breathlessly said, "Yes. Please make love to me Ricky. I need to feel you in me." I thought, 'replace those bad memories with happy ones of you.' He carefully slid into me an inch at a time, giving me time to adjust to his size. My Ricky is very well endowed. It hurt but not it wasn't the bad kind of hurt. Once he was fully in me, I begged, "Please move. I need to feel you move." Ricky was replacing the bad memories with good ones and I needed him to go slow.

He slowly made love to me. I could feel myself getting close. He must have noticed too. "Steph. Open your eyes. Look into my eyes. I need you to see me." We looked into each other's eyes as we peaked together, screaming each other's names. In his eyes, I could see how much he loves me. I was certain he could see my love for him. He carefully pulled out of me and arranged me so my back was pressed against his front. "I love you Stephanie."

"I love you too Ricky." His hand rested on my baby bump as we fell asleep.