CHAPTER 7

Loud knocking woke me up. I felt a warm body pressed against my back and I reflectively tensed. The hand moved to my face, gently stroking my cheek. "Querida. It's only me, Ricky. You're safe. I won't let anything happen to you."

I relaxed until the knocking started again, followed by Mom's words, "Hija. Our guests are starting to arrive. You and Ricky need to quickly shower and dress."

Thumping my hand against my forehead I said, "This is so embarrassing. Mama knows what we were doing in here."

Ricky laughed, "Mi amor, we were a bit loud. I'm sure everyone in the house is aware." I turned to give him a quick kiss. My face turned bright red. Mama and Papa were very modern parents. Maybe it's because the horse is already out of the barn? I'm already pregnant. The therapist also stressed the importance of having healthy sexual encounters. My Ricky was replacing all the bad memories with good ones.

"Mama's right. We need to get ready." He helped me up from the bed and led me to my ensuite bathroom.

I leaned in to turn on the shower. "Mi Dios. What are you doing to me mi amor?" I looked over my shoulder to see his dilated eyes and his growing erection. Stepping into the shower, I held out my hand to him, inviting him to join me. He stepped in behind me, pressing his erection into my back. I reflectively tensed. "It's Ricky, Babe. I won't hurt you," he said until I relaxed.

"We don't have much time Ricky and we have guests downstairs waiting." He grabbed the loofa and shower gel and gently washed my body as I washed his. After washing my privates, he kneeled and lifted my leg over his shoulder. Using his tongue and fingers, another orgasm ripped through my body. I noticed he still had an impressive erection. I grabbed his member and kneeled in front of him, licking the head. He quietly moaned.

I continued licking him and pulled him into my mouth. "Babe. If you don't want me to cum in your mouth, I suggest you stop." I continued until I felt him empty into my mouth. "Dios. Mi amor. Tú eres mi corazón, mi vida, mi alma. Soy tuyo para siempre."

"Ricky, you are my heart, my life, my soul. I am yours forever," I repeated his words back in English. We quickly dried and dressed. I ran a brush through my hair, becoming frustrated when I couldn't untangle it. I quickly brushed my teeth. When I finished, he grabbed my toothbrush to brush his. I wasn't sure how I felt about that, but if it doesn't bother him, why should I let it bother me? I still made a mental note to have an extra toothbrush for him to use.

We went downstairs as I continually attempted to tame my wild curls. Ricky sat me at the kitchen table and stood behind me as he gently brushed and untangled my curls. Once my hair was brushed, he divided my hair down the middle and French braided each half. His family watched in amusement. Raising his eyebrow he said, "What? I've braided my sisters' hair many times."

I kissed him when he finished the braids. "Thank you Ricky. I was getting ready to wear a bag over my head."

"Then everyone would miss out on seeing your beautiful face." He was always paying me compliments.

I wasn't really sure why everyone thought I was beautiful. The person they see isn't the same one I see when I look in the mirror. If I compared myself to other girls my age, I always thought they were prettier than me. With my changing body and growing waist, I felt less attractive each day. "Hija. One day you will see the same beautiful girl we all see," Mama said. She kissed my hair. I wasn't aware I expressed my feelings out loud. It was a habit I really wanted to break.

Ricky pulled me into his lap and said, "Mi amor. You have experienced so much abuse from your old family and during the attack, yet it never changed who you are. You are a loving, caring, honest, sincere, generous and nonjudgmental woman. You are the sunshine on a cloudy day, the light in the dark. You embraced your role as a mother despite the events leading to your pregnancy. You didn't allow your past experiences to alter the wonderful woman you are. Stephanie, you are truly an amazing, strong and remarkable woman. This strength shines through you, showing everyone the beauty that lies within. That's what makes you beautiful."

I was crying when he finished his speech. "I'm really not that strong. I just focus on making it through today. One day at a time I place one foot in front of the other. My past experiences do not have the power to change the person I strive to become."

Several exclamations of, "Hear hear" echoed throughout the room. Blush coloured my cheeks when I realized everyone was listening.

Hector knocked on the door. I got up and answered the door while Mama and Papa finished cooking for the party. "Hola Hector."

"Happy Birthday Angel," he greeted me and pulled me into his arms.

"Thank you. Please come in. Ricky and Lester are in the living room. He kissed my cheek when I stroked his tattoo."

I heard Ricky say, "That's exactly what I was talking about. Do you know what that tattoo means?" He obviously noticed I touched Hector's tattoo every time I saw him.

"It means Hector has killed someone. I'm certain he had a very good reason to take a life. I know he isn't a bad person, otherwise he wouldn't have rescued me. Hector would have more teardrops if he was a bad person. He's a good person and shouldn't be judged based on his past." I realized I had just proven Ricky was right with his description of me.

Mama set a bowl of candy on the porch to prevent interruptions to my birthday party. Everything was decorated in the traditional Hallowe'en theme. Mama and Papa gave me a charm bracelet with a Wonder Woman charm. Tia Maria and Tio Ricardo gave me gorgeous earrings.

Hector gave me a small knife and holster. "What am I supposed to do with this?" I asked him.

His answer, "Carry it always... for protection."

Ricky handed me a small flat box. I shakily opened it. There was a locket the size of a fifty cent coin with two small hinges along the left side. Opening the first side, I saw a picture of me on the right and a picture of Ricky on the left. I snapped the side shut and opened the other one. A picture of me and Ricky, from his birthday party, was on the left. The right side window was empty. "For hija," he whispered.

"It's beautiful. Ricky, this is too much."

"Querida, it used to belong to Abuela. She gave it to me so I could gift it to you."

"I love it." He helped me put it on, kissing the back of my neck after closing the clasp. I have no intention of removing the locket from around my neck.

The baby started kicking so I placed Ricky's hand on my stomach. "Is that the baby?" I nodded. Everyone realized the baby was moving and insisted on feeling it for themselves.

It was getting late and my guests were preparing to leave. "Thank you all for making my birthday wonderful. I love all of you." I hugged and kissed everyone as they left for their homes. Ricky stayed behind, choosing to stay with me for the night. Mama and Papa had no problems with us sharing my bed. Ricky and I made love again before sleeping for the night. Each time we connected sexually it pushed the rape memories farther away.

Thanksgiving was the next time I saw Ricky. I received my Music credit and nearly finished my Physics course. I'll be finished this course by November 30th. He arrived last night and will go back to Miami on Sunday. I was so happy to see him. "You're finally here," I exclaimed as he entered the house.

"Querida, I've missed you," he said as he pulled me into his arms. We walked to my bedroom to store his duffle bag.

"I've been thinking... the name Ricky is starting to sound a bit... juvenile. Your dad goes by Ric or Ricardo and I don't want to be thinking about him when I say your name. Would you allow me to start calling you by your middle name Carlos? I'll understand if that isn't what you want."

His smile nearly blinded me. "I was actually thinking about that too. It would be my pleasure to have you call me Carlos."

I kissed him as I tested out his name. "I love you Carlos."

"Babe. I love hearing how my name rolls off your tongue." He kissed me passionately. I deepened the kiss, moaning when he reciprocated. We moved to my bed and undressed each other. Our bodies were in sync as we made love. "You own my heart mi amor. One day, I will ask you to marry me." I was very comfortable being with Carlos. Most of my bad memories no longer affect me.

Marriage? I'm too young to think about marriage. "My heart already belongs to you. Let's wait until after our graduation to discuss marriage. I feel we're too young to make such a commitment."

"Babe. I'm not to young to realize you're the only woman for me." I could see and feel the truth in his words.

"We can agree to table the discussion for now?" Carlos is the only man for me, but I was still waiting for the other shoe to drop. Our relationship was almost too good to be true. Marriage was too much for me to wish for. I never wanted to get married, but Carlos is making me change my mind. If I were to marry anyone, it would be Carlos.

"Yes. We can revisit this discussion after our graduation ceremonies." We talked about our classes and grades. His current average is 95%, while my average was now 99%. My teachers were thrilled with my grades. They were helping me work on my College and scholarship applications. With my grades, I could attend any of the Ivy League schools. I wasn't interested in any of them. My goal was to take earn a Business Administration with specialization in Finance degree from Rutgers. I didn't want to go away for school and leave my baby at home. Carlos was also applying to Rutgers for Business Administration in Management. I was happy he was planning to move back to Newark for school.

On Thanksgiving Day, we told our families our post-secondary education plans. Tia Maria and Tio Ricardo were pleased to hear Carlos was moving back home. They were even more surprised when Abuela Rosa was moving here too. She didn't want to be separated from her grandsons Carlos and Lester. Raising the two boys for the last few years made her feel younger and appreciated.

After our feast, Papa pulled out the Karaoke machine. He put everyone's name in a large bowl and explained the rules. "If your name is drawn for the first time, you can select the song you wish to sing. Your name is place back into the bowl. The second time your name is drawn, you must sing the song selected by your mother or spouse. If your name is selected a third time, your father or eldest child selects a song and your name is not returned to the bowl. Does everyone agree to the terms?"

"Si," we all replied. Abuela Rosa was unanimously selected to draw the names.

I laughed when Rosa drew the name Carlos from the bowl. He went to the Karaoke machine and started singing 'Babe' by Styx. Everyone was surprised by his tenor singing voice. Lester was starting to look angry. I wondered why he's so unhappy. "I didn't know he could sing," Mama whispered to Tia Maria.

She replied, "Neither did I." Carlos was staring in my eyes as though he was singing only to me. My heart melted and Lester was getting angrier. Rosa swirled the names around the bowl. She drew my name. I selected 'Nothing's Gonna Change My Love for you' by George Benson. My name was immediately drawn again. Mama selected the song 'Eternal Flame' by the Bangles.

Everyone else got their chance to sing before my name was selected for the third and final time. Papa selected 'I Will Always Love You' by Whitney Houston, which was the song I sang at my recital. Carlos pulled me into his lap when I finished my song. "Babe. Your voice is amazing. You could be a professional musician."

"Maybe as a side gig, but I'm not interested in going on tours or being a starving artist. I have my daughter to consider."

Tia Sophia sat beside me to discuss an opportunity. She works for a music producer who was looking for a new sound. "I recorded your songs today. Do I have your permission to give a demo tape to my boss?"

"As long as you make it clear to him that I can veto anything that affects my education or time with my daughter."

She hugged me, "Thank you. I'm not sure how far this will go, but I'm glad you're taking this step." I have a few songs from my time in Music class and I've learned to play a guitar. Papa put the Karaoke machine away as we huddled around the TV to watch the football game. I fell asleep with my head resting on Carlos' shoulder. He carried me up the stairs to my bedroom as Papa followed behind him. I woke up as he placed me on the bed. Papa closed the door behind us and returned to his guests.

Carlos removed his shirt and pants then climbed into the bed behind me, pulling me into his chest. We woke up a few hours later. His hand laying on my abdomen feeling the baby move. "Babe. Is it uncomfortable when the baby moves?"

"No. It doesn't hurt. Your mom said the last month of pregnancy will be uncomfortable. The baby runs out of room. My skin on my abdomen is already feeling a bit tight. I'm not sure how much more it can stretch." He rubbed his hand over my abdomen. "Carlos, that feels amazing." I didn't even tell him I was afraid of the delivery.

He left the bed to grab lotion from the bathroom. "Mi amor. Let me rub this lotion on your body. Your mama said it will soothe your tight skin." He helped me remove my shirt, opened the lotion then rubbed some into my abdomen. I moaned as his hands moved over me. His touch sent warmth throughout my body, settling between my legs. We made love again. I fell asleep wrapped in his arms.