Natasha didn't know what to do when she got back to the compound and she found out her sister was among the vanished.
She was saddened that she was gone, but she was still kind of in shock from losing half of her family to Thanos. She had no idea what they were gonna do.
Plus her son was still MIA...
A day after they all made it back to the compound, she found out that Fury and Hill were both a victim of the Snap too.
It seemed that she just couldn't get a break.
And it's not like it wasn't effecting anyone else either. She learned that Mary Jane's aunt was also among the vanished, along with her friend Ned.
She tried to comfort the young woman but she was already in distress from Peter not being there, she knew that the only one that would be able to calm her down would be Peter.
The only one that'd be able to calm both of them down would be Peter...
Luckily for Stark though, Harley, Pepper, Happy and Rhodey all survived, so he didn't lose a lot of people. Also Harley's boyfriend, Harry survived so there was that. Sharon also survived and met them at the compound a day after they got back.
When Steve saw her, he instantly brought her in for a kiss. When she pulled back, she handed Natasha a paging device and said that it was found near Fury's stuff. She decided that whatever it was, it was important to Fury so it's important to her.
Whoever was on the other end of that device, she knew they were important and she wanted to see who...
It also helped if she could focus on something else. So her mind wouldn't wander to the one thing that she doesn't want to think about.
Never seeing Peter again...
She doesn't even know if he survived his injures that Thanos had inflected on him, let alone the snap. But goddamn, Natasha for once in her life wanted to be selfish for her own reasons and wanted her son back.
If he was still alive, she'd be ok...
Around the second week after the snap, Carol Danvers finally showed up.
Apparently, she was once a human who was experimented on by an alien race called the Kree. And back in the '90s, she helped Fury deal with an alien invasion.
She also happened to be powered by the Space Stone.
But it wasn't until three weeks after the snap that something happened. They were all sitting around the common room, trying to relax after such a taxing few weeks of keeping the planet together when they got a notification from Friday.
"What is it Fri?" Tony asked.
"I'm getting a SOS message from space sir." She said.
The whole room was left in shock at her news. Mary Jane covered her mouth with her hand and her eyes were starting to get a little wet. Ana and Gwen looked hopeful, Steve and Rhodey were slightly smiling, Tony looked doubtful and the rest had on some degree of shock, happiness or confusion.
"Play it." Natasha was the one who spoke.
A hologram suddenly was projected in front of all the heroes and it cause them all to suck in a harsh breath.
It was definitely Peter, but he looked like he had seen better days. His cheeks were sunken in and he had black circles underneath his eyes. His hair was all nasty and greasy and they could see his beard has been growing in a little more. It was all messy and not well groomed at all. A drastic change from the stubble they all saw the young man have before he had left.
The most notable difference they could see was how skinny he was...
Natasha marveled at the sight of her son after weeks of not seeing him in person. What caught her attention though was how broken he looked. In all the time that she has known Peter for, he has always been the strongest person in the room, never to let his emotions show on his face unless he was with his family.
The fact that she could see so much raw emotion reflected off of him is what scares her the most.
The hologram of Peter then decided to speak.
"Hey...to whom ever finds this recording, my name is Peter Parker, Spider-Man. First I wanted to say that if you find this message, can you please take it down to earth? The Avengers compound is where my family lives, that'd be great...It's day...20?...No, 21 I think on my voyage through space. When you're up here with no real way to tell between night and day, they all just start to blurr together." Peter softly chuckled.
Mary Jane looked at her boyfriend in sadness. She has no idea what happened to him up on that planet but she knew it wasn't good. Whatever happened really shook him to his core. She just hoped that they'll be able to fix it.
Steve looked at the youngest member of his family. He knew that look behind the man's eyes, he's had it plenty of times before. The look of loss, guilt that eats away at you from the inside until that's all you can think about.
He wished he could help him through whatever he was going through...
"I've been aboard the Guardians ship with Nebula, she's great by the way. She was cold and distant but that act didn't last long, she eventually opened up...We were the only two to survive..." Peter said, taking a break to cough into his left hand.
Rocket perked up when he heard that Nebula was still alive. At least someone he knew was still there, even if he didn't really like her that much. Plus, if he was on their ship, maybe they could get it back.
Ana frowned at the hologram. She noticed that Peter wasn't moving his right hand all that much, which was weird for him. He was always fidgety no matter where they were, to see him not constantly moving around was a major red flag. Plus, he used his left hand...
Peter hates to use his left hand...
Natasha winced when she heard him cough. That didn't sound good at all. He's been up alone in space with this Nebula and he does not look to be in good shape. She hoped that he could give them something so they could find him.
"God...we fought... I fought the purple bastard head on and he still kicked my ass, those fucking stones. If I ever see them again I'm gonna through them in a garbage disposal. But, at the end I was no match for that monster, he...made me feel like...all my years of fighting, were for nothing...He made me feel, so...weak. Like I was some sort of ant underneath his foot..."
When he admitted that, Natasha didn't know what to think. She knew how strong he was, and she experienced Thanos for herself too, she's seen what the madman was capable of.
She just hopes that he's ok, she wouldn't be able to live with herself if her son didn't make it back.
"You know, I used to find space fascinating. All the different planets and languages and culture out there in the universe. But now, all I see when I look out there is emptiness, the void."
Mary Jane sobbed into her hands when she saw how calm he was with his death. He wasn't freaking out, he was accepting that his last sight would be all those stars, blazing through his gaze, teasing him from millions of light years away. She doesn't know what would happen if she lost him.
She couldn't lose him...
I'd break her...
"Like I said, Nebula was originally a little closed off but after being stuck in the same place for a few weeks, we've grown close. I think you would have liked her Tasha, she reminds me a lot about you. You know, girl trained to be an assassin for someone evil, girl turns good, girl tries to make up for everything she's done...you know...the classic assassin origin story."
Even in the tense atmosphere, everyone cracked a small smile at that. He did have a point. All assassins did seem to have a basic story that followed those points a lot. There was both of Gwen and Ana that it could work with, then there was Nat and Peter.
Classic assassin backstory...
"Food and water ran out three days ago...And oxygen will run out in less than a day. The nearest alien civilization is light years away from our current position, so I have no chance of making it out of this alive. I just wanted to let you all know, that when I drift off, I'll think about you. All of you...Tony, Steve, Clint, Sam, Buck, all the Avengers, my sisters...But, I'll think about the two of you the most, Tasha...Em..."
Everyone had tears in their eyes when Peter said that. He was slowly starving to death but that wasn't even the worst part. He was slowly gonna suffocate to death since there was no more oxygen.
Natasha finally let the tears fall from her eyes. Her son was gonna die, all alone in space with nothing but himself and Nebula to keep him company as he drifted off.
The one thing that she could never have in her life was children, so when Peter came into her life and she was given a chance by the universe, she made sure not to waste it.
She grew close to the boy and eventually saw him as her own son, she cared for the boy, offered him comfort when he needed it, trained with him, cooked with him, watched movies together, but above all else she just made sure to be there for him.
And the one time he really needed someone, no one was there to help him.
That...stung...
"I wouldn't be me without the support and love of you two, so I have you guys to thank for that. I'm sorry that this isn't the goodbye you all imagined, but I want you to know how grateful I am that I met all of you..." Peter looked the camera right in the eyes before speaking again.
"I love you mom, don't blame yourself for this, it ain't on you."
Natasha sobbed and buried her head in her hands, letting all of the tears fall out of her. The one time that he called her mom, and it was on his dying breath. She'd never get to tell him that she felt the same way, verbally.
She'd never get to tease him about the purring...
She'd never get to spend time with him again...
She'd never get to relax with him...
She'd never train with him again...
She'd never see him grow up and get married...
She'd never see him have children...
She sobbed even harder, causing Mary Jane to lay a hand on her back and bring her in for a hug. A hug the Nat had no problem returning.
Everyone else sat there and cried too, watching the two women cry for the loss that they'd all have to deal with.
"...This is Peter Parker Romanov, signing off."
With that, the hologram turned off and it became silent again, with the only sound coming from the sad family of superheroes in the middle of the compound.
Natasha was warmed that he would use her last name for his own, but was also saddened. If he wanted to, she'd be happy to make it official.
But he wasn't there...
Carol looked around and saw how much this young man meant to a lot of people and her resolve hardened.
"Friday which direction did that message come from?" She asked, causing everyone to turn and look at her in confusion.
She made eye contact with Natasha, "I promise, I'll bring him back, one way or another." She nodded to her, causing the other woman to nod with a slight smile across her face.
"Please...hurry." She sniffled. Carol gave her one last smile before heading outside the compound and blasted off into space, right in the direction from where the message came from.
Gwen let a little hope blossom in her chest, maybe if Carol could find Peter, he'd be ok again. She looked over to Ana and frowned at her girlfriend when she saw the look on her face.
"What's wrong?" She asked, gaining everyone's attention.
Ana frowned, "Peter was using his left hand...He hates his left hand." She admitted.
"Well, it could just be because he hurt it in battle." Gwen said but Ana instantly shook her head.
"No...I know my brother, he'd never use his left hand unless he had to. I've seen him use his right hand when every bone was almost completely shattered before, just because he wouldn't use his left."
Tony frowned, "Now that you mention it, whenever we're in the lab, he doesn't use his left hand that much. I always though it was because he was right hand dominate, why does he hate it so much?"
Ana was about to speak when she closed her mouth and pressed her lips in a thin line. Natasha could see there was a battle raging on inside of her head, a battle if she should tell them or not.
After a minute, Ana exhaled a breath, "Peter was originally left handed, I'm sure you remember Gwen. But a year before you left, Peter and I were sent on a assignment. We had to take out a target and make sure that they didn't say anything. On the mission though, after we took out the target, we both turned around and came face to face with a ten year old girl." Ana admitted softly. All the heroes tensed, knowing where this was heading.
"Peter didn't want that to be on my head...So...h-he had to dispose of her." Ana looked up at everyone with sad eyes.
"He killed her with his left hand..." she swallowed down the bile threatening to push up into her throat.
Everyone was sad at what Peter has had to face at such a young age. Sharon shook her head sadly before burying her face in Steve's shoulder, Pepper doing the same with Tony.
Natasha shook her head, "Whatever it is, we'll deal with it once he gets back." She said, because now that they all had a chance to get him back, they wouldn't waste it.
Her son was coming home, and she wouldn't stand for anything else...
——————————
Carol Danvers came back with the ship a couple hours later. It was already nightfall but no one could sleep. Steve was actually shaving his beard when he noticed the mirror rocking and shaking.
He ran out and almost tripped over Natasha who was also running outside as fast as she could. Which Steve couldn't blame her. The two of them got outside and saw everyone else already standing there. The two of them got out just in time though, just as the doors to the ship opened.
They all watched as Peter stumbled out of the ship with a blue woman holding him up, stopping him from falling on his face. Peter looked like he was on the brink of death though. He was sickly gaunt which reminded Steve of the days before he had the serum inside of him, his eyes were sunken, his head was hung low and he was walking as if he was drunk, wobbling on his uneasy legs, but not falling due to the woman at his side.
The shirt that he was wearing was nearly a dress on him. His hands were completely obstructed from everyone's view due to the shirt covering them.
The woman with blue skin was in a similar condition as Peter was. She wasn't as skinny but they could tell that she wasn't at a normal weight. She probably would have been a lot worse if it wasn't for her enhancements. She almost looked fine to a normal person but everyone could see with their trained eyes.
Steve decided that he'd act first, being the first one to snap out of it. He ran over to the boy and gestured for the woman to pass Peter over. She was silent for a minute, glaring at him and analyzing the man before she nodded once and pushed Peter into his hold.
"Save him." She said so quietly that Steve had a hard time hearing it. But he did, and he nodded back at her before moving his attention back to the man in his arms.
Steve took a minute to look over Peter after so long of not seeing him. He looked terrible if Steve was being honest but he couldn't really care at the moment. All he cared about was Peter was safe again.
That's when Steve caught a glimpse of his right hand...
Or, the absence of said hand...
Steve's face crumbled when he realized why Peter wasn't using his right hand, he couldn't use it. It was gone. He shook his head before readjusting Peter so I'd be easier for him.
"Ohh Peter."
Peter looked up at Steve with so much tragedy behind his gaze. His sunken eyes so blank but also holding sadness in them as he choked out, "I couldn't stop him."
"Neither could we."
"I lost." Peter said so emotionless.
"Queens, we lost, all of us." He responded, putting emphasis on the we before walking back over to the others.
Peter's head was still hung low when he made it over to the others but he picked himself up when Steve stopped. He looked up and his eyes found his sisters, his girlfriend, Harley, Harry, everyone.
But his eyes stopped on Nat and Mary Jane...
He offered them a small smile, "Hey, miss me?"
Mary Jane sobbed before she ran forwards and brought Peter into her own arms. Steve stepped back and allowed the young woman to have a moment with Peter while he stood in the back, just incase Peter passed out.
Peter laid his head on her shoulder and breathed in her scent, letting it calm him down. He can't believe that he's back home. Actually he can't believe he got this lucky and both his mother and girlfriend are still alive.
He doesn't think he'd survive if anyone of them was dusted...
"I told you I'd be back, I don't break promises." He whispered in her ear, only causing her to sob harder. After a few more minutes of just standing their, taking in the comfort for each other, Peter slightly pulled back to look at Nat.
"Hey Tasha."
"What happened to Mom, Mr Romanov." She snarked back with tears in her eyes.
"Well, I couldn't just leave without saying it once could I? I would've felt like a real asshole if I left before ever admitting it." He said. Natasha walked over and brought both of them into her arms, relaxing for the first time in weeks with the fact that she finally had her son back.
Mary Jane though suddenly gasped, "Peter! Your hand!!"
Natasha pulled back to look at what Mary Jane was talking about. As soon as she saw what it was, she froze in shock. All the others then tried to see what it was and when everyone else saw, they too froze.
Peter looked down at his missing appendage with a frown before he shrugged his shoulders, "Thanos got a few good hits in."
"I'd call a missing hand and a stab wound in the chest more that a few good hits." Nebula said walking up to the group, causing his family to glare at him.
"Why you have to rat me out to my fam, Bellatrix?"
"Because you are hurt, and I know you are too stubborn to ask for help." She said with a small smirk that Peter was sure he was the only one that saw.
"You see, what I really need is a good shave and a hair cut." Peter said with a smile, causing his family to laugh along too, even after this whole nightmare.
Peter was about to say something else when he started to wobble again and he sucked in a breath, "I'm gonna...pass out now." He said before starting to fall backwards to the ground, causing everyone else to freak out.
Steve acted quickly though, surging forward to catch the man before his head hit the soft grass.
The last thing that Peter saw before going into the land of dreams was the concerned looks from Tasha, Mary Jane and Steve...