Two chapters in three hours. I hope ya'll are enjoying this.
Elizabeth ran down the corridor once she was far enough away that Minerva wouldn't hear.
She couldn't believe what had just happened. What she did. What she said.
She wasn't looking where she was going and ran smack into Neville. He looked relieved to see her.
"Oh! Elizabeth! I, I just wanted to come and see you. I heard, well I saw, really, what happened last night. And, well, I just wanted to come to see how you were feeling."
Elizabeth nodded, not sure what to say. Frankly, she wasn't sure if she should say anything at all. Not after what just occurred.
Neville took note of this. He was a perceptive person and could tell something was wrong with his friend. "Elizabeth? What's wrong?"
This pricked tears in Elizabeth's eyes. "Neville, I just did something awful…"
This was all Neville needed to hear. He hugged her and could feel her tears fall onto his shoulder. He didn't know what had happened but knew his closest friend needed him.
Minerva was in pieces. Her family had fallen apart, for the second time. Just like last time, pain flared in her chest, something she could only identify as heartbreak. She had been able to make it to the safety of her bedroom before she broke down crying. The tears wouldn't stop coming. She made no move to stop them, either.
That was how Malcolm found her. "Minerva? Lissy?" he had been calling through the quarters. He arrived in Minerva's room and saw his older sister sitting on the side of her bed, hunched over, head buried in her hands.
"Minnie?" he asked quietly. He hadn't seen her like this in years. He wasn't sure what to do. His unshakable sister was clearly gone, replaced by a Minerva he had little experience with.
Unsure of himself, he sat beside her and put a hand on her shoulder. She stopped shaking and looked up at him.
"I'm here." was all he said. Minerva still had tears running down her face. "Minerva, you're scaring me. What's wrong?" he asked.
Minerva looked straight ahead, drawing in enough strength to say it aloud. "Elizabeth…. We got into an argument. I renounced her as my daughter…" she trailed off as her tears overcame her.
Malcolm did a double-take. "What? But, you love her! You adopted her! You've taken care of her for the whole time she's been here! You-" he stopped talking when he realized how it was affecting his sister. She was crying even harder. He hugged her again and allowed her to rest her head on his shoulder. Clearly, words weren't something she could manage at the moment. He needed to give her time.
Neville had led Elizabeth to an empty classroom, so she could tell him what had happened. They sat down at separate desks, facing each other.
"I'm listening." Neville offered. Elizabeth nodded. She needed to explain her connection to the founders and the wards around Hogwarts. He followed what she was telling him, listening patiently.
"If you don't mind my asking, what happened after that?" He asked carefully, afraid of hurting her further. Elizabeth just stared at the floor. She didn't want to tell him. He'd think she was a horrible person. A monster. And she wouldn't blame him if he did.
"My m- Minerva, she kept asking me why I didn't tell her before this. She just kept asking and asking." Elizabeth said softly.
"...Why didn't you?" Neville asked.
This caused another onslaught of tears. This time, Elizabeth had no strength to push him away or put up walls. They were broken, and she didn't know how to put them back together.
"I couldn't." was all she managed to say. Neville remained silent, giving her space to talk.
"I, I can't talk about my past, Neville. It's just too hard, too painful." she said quietly, so quietly that only someone sitting close could hear. Neville could just barely make them out.
"But you let me ask you questions at the Yule Ball." he said, a little confused.
"That was different. That was on the surface stuff. But, the spell, my connection to it, it was the first spell my mother ever taught me. It's special, and when I think of it I think of her. And even now, after so long…."
"It still hurts." Neville finished. She nodded.
In some way, Neville could understand. Talking about his parents was something he found very difficult. It had taken him to his fourth year to confide in a classmate about it, and that was only when he was pushed to after Moody's lesson. Who knew how long he would have gone without talking about it if not for that?
If he had memories like that with his mum, he wouldn't be eager to share them either. But, "I thought you were close with Professor McGonagall, and Ginny and Luna, and that girl Julia. Wouldn't you be comfortable enough to share it with them?" he asked.
Elizabeth shook her head. "They've done so much for me already… if I brought up my past, I'm afraid they would think I was ungrateful for everything they've done, or that I'm being selfish, thinking I can have both worlds." she explained, tears sliding down her cheeks.
"But, they're your friends. And, I've seen you all together, you're close, real friends. I think they would get it. And Professor McGonagall adopted you. That's gotta mean she cares about you."
Elizabeth started sobbing. "No… she doesn't love me anymore…. She disowned me! And I deserve it, Neville! I was awful, and I said the most terrible things!" she sobbed.
Neville was shocked. Elizabeth had always been so strong, seeing her like this… was jarring and unnatural. He had always been the one needing support. And she had always provided it. Now, the roles were reversed.
He wished they weren't.
Malcolm listened to Minerva as she told him what happened. He could tell his sister's heart was broken, as she wept over what she had done.
"She was clearly going through something, and I didn't notice. And she kept begging me to stop, but I didn't listen. It was my fault she said those things if I had just been a better parent…" she said matter-of-factly. Her voice was flat as tears ran down her face. She sounded defeated and had accepted what she'd done in a terrifyingly depressive manner.
"Minnie, you've been a wonderful parent to her. Elizabeth couldn't be luckier to have you. Just… it sounds like she's been keeping things from all of us, not just you. It wasn't your fault if you didn't see them, she clearly went to great efforts to make sure you didn't." Malcolm soothed.
"But I chose to keep pushing her, pressing for answers she clearly wasn't ready to give. I should've been able to tell she was getting upset. And I should have known not to call myself her mother! I crossed a line, and didn't even notice it at the time…" Minerva argued.
Malcolm agreed with what she said, but didn't want to tell her that. It would only make things worse.
"What are you going to do now?" He asked.
Minerva sighed. 'I'm not sure. If Elizabeth truly has parts of her past she doesn't want anyone else knowing and wants to be left alone, I want to do what makes her happy. But I also want to do what's best for her," she stopped to wipe away a tear.
"I just don't know what that is anymore."
Neville had been sitting with Elizabeth, listening to her as she cried and told him what happened.
"I'm so ashamed, Neville. I said things I can't take back, things I never, ever should have said. I'm a horrible person." she said tearfully.
"You aren't a horrible person, Elizabeth. You're my closest friend, and you're a wonderful one. You aren't horrible at all." Neville reassured.
'Thanks." Elizabeth said. "I probably don't deserve that, but thanks. It's just… I feel like I can never talk about my family or the darker parts of my past. It's so painful and just reminds me that they're all gone. That everything I had and knew when I was little is just… gone. It was all wrenched away in a split second. I know it's been almost two years since I've woken up, but it still feels like it just happened. And the grief hits me all over again." she explained.
Neville nodded. "I understand. I feel that way about my parents sometimes. And, well, I've actually said it out loud, but I'd probably blow up at my gran if she didn't intimidate me so much." he told her.
"Really?" Elizabeth asked.
"Yeah. I know it doesn't really excuse what you said, but I can understand how bad it hurts to lose your parents. It hurts, and sometimes you think you're done hurting, but you aren't. Things come up that remind you of them, and then you hurt all over again. It just keeps happening." Neville sympathized.
"I just can't believe I lost it like that. I mean, I don't even recognize myself when I think about what happened. It's just, for so long I've felt like I can't talk about any of the deep stuff, or the dark stuff, or the dark stuff, but then it just came tumbling out and I couldn't stop it. Just…. Hearing her call herself my mother…. I couldn't take it." Elizabeth said.
Neville nodded silently.
"What should I do now? I want to apologize, but I don't think she'd let me. She doesn't want me anymore." Elizabeth asked.
Neville put a hand on her shoulder. "I think you should do what you think is right. And even if it doesn't work out, you can say you tried.' Neville said, thinking back to what he had attempted to do at the end of his first year. "And, even if you fail at doing it, sometimes just trying makes all the difference."
Elizabeth let out a little smile, the first she'd had all day. "Thanks, Neville."
The fight between Elizabeth and Minerva, however, did not end. Both wanted it to, desperately, but they were both still feeling broken-hearted and unwanted by the other. During Cedric Diggory's memorial, Elizabeth could not feel Minerva's eyes, instead turning her attention to Harry, who was beside himself with guilt.
Days went by. Elizabeth was afraid of talking to Minerva, in fear of being rejected and abandoned even after her apology. And, she still thought it was what she deserved. Meanwhile, Minerva was not eager to come to Elizabeth and apologize, in fear of her turning her away and telling her to leave her alone.
They both still loved each other and wanted to be a family again. But how could they do it when they were both still hurting? They were both Gryffindors, but fear was ruling over both of them, making them afraid to say anything at all. Each was scared to lose what little bit of family they had left. And that fear was threatening to take away what they loved most dearly in the world.
This breaks my heart to write, I swear. My friend was with me while writing this and can testify how sad this made me. I'm so sorry for how sad and angsty this is. Really and truly.
