Two hours after, Alec was thrown out of a portal, surprisingly gently given the creator, but he supposed lizards weren't the type to hold grudges.
Feet dragging one after the other, he trudged home, while his mind remained a million miles away.
Alec didn't think that it was normal to be this comfortable with someone after only 2 weeks of knowing them, with only a sandwich-buffered conversation and frequently interrupted online chatting to account for.
But there was no denying the fact that they just clicked; their humour melded quite well - their mindset was similar enough to come to a general consensus, but contrasted on some matters, just enough to be able to hold enlightening discussions.
Oh no, Alec might be smitten.
Or he thought that he was, but how well was he acquainted with his own heart? One romance with the love of his life didn't necessarily make him an expert. Not one relationship was ever the same as another, anyway.
When they separated at the subway station, words which were supposed to be said weren't uttered. Cowardice and apprehension prevailed within Alec, holding him back from taking that leap. So, Tyler got into his train after pressing a light kiss to his cheek.
Alec could still feel the tingles.
Now, as he entered the walls of his own home, Alec flopped onto the couch, like a marionette with their strings cut. With Magnus nowhere to be seen, he rested his head down and unwittingly began to drift off.
He was woken by fingers softly running through his hair. His first thought was that it must've been Magnus, but then he jolted upright when he remembered that Magnus was currently incapable of doing any touching of any kind.
Alec's sleepy eyes shot wide open to acquiesce his sudden wariness, fingers brushing his temples gingerly as he could feel the beginning of a headache pushing through. Yet, his senses remained alert, all too ready to summon his bow and quiver at a moment's notice.
As it turned out, his worry was unwarranted as it was indeed Magnus, with his incorporeal hands coated in velvet gloves.
"You're back." Magnus stated the obvious. It was clear he wasn't comfortable with how Alec was still rapidly alternating between staring at his face and his hands. "How did it go?"
Alec let his face fall directly on the arm of the couch, resulting in a muffled answer. "It goes." Not too keen to continue in this vein, unsure if he was uncomfortable about the matter or the person he would discuss it with, Alec attempted to change the subject. "How did your day with Catarina go?"
Magnus drooped like a dehydrated flower, making regret bloom within him like a daisy for asking in the first place. "Calling it a day with Cat connotes that she even knew I was there, which she didn't." He rubbed his chin in thought; something much more interesting had evidently occurred. "I didn't hint that I was there, but Madzie was having a tea party and she arranged a cup for her uncle Magnus."
Wow, was the only fitting word to describe Alec's inner stupefaction. "Magnus, that's-" Alec lifted his head from it's resting spot to stare at Magnus, uncaring of the case of bed hair he must have had.
Magnus glided across the room, none of his feet fully touching the ground. "Entirely unexpected, yes. Frightened Cat out of her wits. She talked to Madzie, but she kept insisting that I was there." Magnus scrunched his nose in thought. "Which I was, but I have no clue as to how she knew." Finally, Magnus' toes actually touched the Persian rug laying right underneath the couch, Alec exhaled the breath he didn't realize he'd held.
"Could it be just a child's intuition?" As he spoke it aloud, he became aware as to how ludicrous it may have sounded; but it wasn't as if there was a lesson on the complexities of warlocks in Shadowhunters Academy, the miniscule knowledge included painted with superiority complex on top of a thin layer of bigotry.
"Sweetpea is eight, not really all that young. It could have just been an aspect of her magic." Magnus's fingers went to rub his incorporeal chin, only for his gloves-encased hand to pass right through. He repeated it a couple of times, getting progressively annoyed, before finally realizing the issue and dropped his hand with an indignant huff. Alec was most definitely not laughing at him. Okay, maybe a little.
"But you said Catarina couldn't see you?" Alec pointed out once he got control of his laughter, helped by the sheer force of Magnus' glower - even if he could see the small smile tugging at his husband's lips.
"All warlocks' power has their own specialty and its particular manifestation, and Madzie's is most certainly unique. Sensing the dead could just be the tip of the iceberg, really."
"Should we warn Cat?" It did seem reasonable in Alec's mind to give her a little heads up. She loved her daughter more than anything, and knowing about this could help Catarina protect her better.
"How would you explain your knowledge? You can't exactly go up to her and announce 'Magnus is a ghost and he's right here, Cat'." Magnus' posture changed as he tried to imitate him. Alec had to stifle his laughter as he saw how Magnus crossed his arms, slumped his shoulders, and slapped on an intense scowl; not unlike the expression he often saw in the mirror. The only difference was that it made Magnus look cute and not-at-all grumpy.
"She would think I've lost my mind." Worst case scenario, she would tell his family about it, and he could already feel the amount of fussing they would treat him with.
He patted Alec's head almost condescendingly, if it wasn't for his gleeful smirk, and gestured to his own body. "Anyone attracted to the male specimen would lose their minds confronted by this amount of beauty."
"Not my point and you know it." Faced with Magnus' imploring gaze, he knew what his husband expected and his chest tightened. So, not unlike the rune on his neck, Alec deflected. "Now I'm going to go get some paperwork done."
"Alec, you're avoiding the subject. I let you at first because I thought you would fold eventually, but you aren't saying anything." Speaking about his 'something' to his husband sounded like a recipe for disaster. It wasn't as if he was actively trying to hide it, Magnus was the one who gave him the guts to do it, after all. However, it would elevate his relationship with Tyler to a much more real status. What did it say about Alec that he was deathly terrified of that? "Besides, if it went badly, I could always kill him." Trust Magnus to suggest possible homicide as a means to comfort him. Not that he had any reason to go through with it.
It was a testament to how much Alec had gotten used to Magnus' antics that his declaration only garnered a blink and a pause. "Magnus! You are not killing anyone."
"No one will know it's me, Alexander. Even if they do, what will they do? Arrest me?" Magnus waggled his eyebrows as he said the last two words. They were both aware that there was absolutely no way it would ever happen. Because: a) Magnus would be smart enough not to leave any incriminating evidence behind, b) no one other than Alec could see him at the moment, c) Alec would never let anyone arrest him had he actually been caught.
What is the point of having a high ranking government position if I can't bust my own spouse out of jail? His ghostly status aside, that has to be a clause somewhere, right?
Before his husband could actually conclude a ludicrous idea from what he said or lack thereof, he hurriedly cut in. "Okay, okay. Nothing went badly. It was good, really."
"But?" Magnus questioned.
"But, I just feel like I barely knew him." A sigh escaped alongside his answer.
"You have just known him for two weeks, it's to be expected, Alexander." He wasn't actually divulging the entire truth. He was perplexed by how he lacked the bundle of inquisitiveness he had once felt since the first moment he laid his eyes on Magnus; he had known Tyler for a whole two weeks, yet his curiosity toed the line between courtesy and genuine interest. But then again, it was unfair to compare him to someone who was unequivocally the love of his life.
Magnus suddenly brightened, "Oh, I've got a suggestion, how about we go stalk Tyler on Instagram?" He walked past the front of the couch to idly stand behind it, Alec's gaze following him throughout. The coarse denim of his jeans - Magnus' jeans - brushed against polyester as he turned his entire body around to face Magnus, somehow managing to fit his entire 6" frame into the seat.
"A what? Instagram? Is that a nightclub I don't know about?" If it was, Magnus probably owned it. There were few things he loved to do more than self promotion, if the amount of shadowhunters frequenting Pandemonium in the recent years was any indication. Though Jace partly had a hand in that, often spending his after-patrol nights nursing a tall glass of martini or having date nights with his girlfriend there; the place had always been cherished by his parabatai seeing as it was where he met Clary, or maybe it was his attempt to support his brother-in-law even if Magnus never asked or even needed said support - it was Jace's way of showing that he considered him family. Alec knew Magnus appreciated it, giving his brother too many on-the-house drinks to actually gain any profit from him.
At Magnus' wide-eyed and startled look, Alec knew that it hadn't been a nightclub name. "I- someone should really educate you on pup," Magnus had the audacity to shoot him a smirk. "Sorry, pop culture."
He grunted, "I heard that."
"I am just of the opinion that a pup should learn pup culture." He shrugged unrepentantly.
"Still not happening." Alec couldn't keep his amusement out of his voice, as he was only protesting for the sake of it. If he was actually offended, Magnus would have never joked about it in the first place. He wasn't even against it anymore. How could he be, when Magnus' very presence was a shining beacon in what would otherwise be the darkness that was his life. A cheesy nickname would never dim that light.
"Worth a shot." Magnus smiled his patented charming grin at him, no shame whatsoever. Unbelievable.
"So what is this Instagram?" Alec had heard Simon and Clary mention it before.
"Mundanes, and the occasional downworlders and shadowhunters, use it to connect with people," Magnus explained, but it only caused Alec's brows to furrow in confusion.
Magnus added, "We can post pictures on it, and see other people's pictures. What we're going to do now is find Tyler's account."
"Don't you need a permit to view them?" Magnus looked so taken aback, Alec didn't know what to do other than raising his hands sheepishly.
"No, unless he has his account on private, but I don't think that's the case."
"This isn't illegal, right?" Alec asked, unsure if he even wanted to know the answer.
"It's adorable how you're so squeamish over social media of all things." Magnus tried to boop his nose, chuckling when Alec rolled his eyes at him.
"I'm not, I'm just worried."
"There's nothing to be worried about, Alexander. I'll grab my phone, my account should still be active."
Alec moved to catch his wrist as he stood up, only to end up flailing awkwardly as his hand only brushed the air. "I don't want to anymore," whispered Alec, for reasons unknown even to himself.
For all that they didn't actually touch, Magnus still halted in his tracks. He sat down on the opposite end of the couch, and Alec wanted nothing more than to pull him closer. He expected Magnus could read the words plainly written on his face; but if he did, he still stayed where he was.
They spent the next few minutes in silence, before Magnus rose to his feet and walked slowly in the direction of their bedroom without even a glance back.
Drawn like a magnet, Alec didn't even need to think before following him. He would follow that man anywhere; he knew that. His gaze subconsciously moved to the balcony as his mind wandered to the times when dark thoughts had plagued his mind. He was endlessly grateful that he never gave in.
Alec got himself ready for bed, stripping down to his boxers. He quickly folded the clothes before putting them into the laundry bin, all the while keeping an eye on Magnus who was sitting on the edge of the bed - staring fixedly at their wedding picture sitting on the bedside table.
The two grooms in the photograph were the epitome of being in love. He could see the way they were glowing in sheer happiness. But, he could also see the desperate edge of their embrace, the underlying fear of losing it all again so easily.
"Magnus?" Alec had to repeat himself multiple times before Magnus jerked and finally saw him.
"Alexander, I didn't realize you were here." He didn't mention the glassiness of Magnus' eyes, even if no tears were shed.
"Yeah, I've been here awhile. Penny for your thoughts?" Alec yearned to lay his hands on his shoulders, to tenderly massage the tenseness out of him. However, he couldn't, so he settled for just sitting next to him, waiting for Magnus to talk.
"I don't hate getting to see you again, darling. But it's hard to revisit everything I had while knowing I'll lose it all again soon."
"Magnus-"
"Forget what I just said, you should probably sleep now, Alexander. You have to get up early tomorrow." Actually, he didn't have work tomorrow, as it would be Sunday. Yet, he acquiesced anyway and got into his side of the bed, seeing Magnus do the same on his.
Tucked under the cover of darkness, Alec's eyes were still wide open. No sounds other than his own breathing reached his ears, and it was eerie & saddening to be able to clearly see his husband's form lying next to him.
He could tell that Magnus was still awake, not that he actually needed rest anymore, his toes kept wriggling under the covers - the way they always did when their owner was stuck between sleep and wakefulness.
"Magnus?" Alec whispered softly, attention caught by how the moonlight illuminated his husband. It almost looked like he was glowing - Alec's very own miracle that he would selfishly hoard for himself.
Magnus only hummed in reply.
"Why can't I- we- just have this? I don't care about anything else, I just want you." Magnus turned to face him, surprised to see Alec already staring at him. "However I can have you."
"Because it's not meant to be, Alexander. I want that too, but I made a promise. I never break my promises, you know that." Magnus heard the sigh Alec let out as he pulled the covers closer to his chin.
"Yeah, but it still hurts." Alec's words began to slur, his bleary eyes blinking rapidly.
"I know, I'm sorry." was all he could bring himself to say, because what else could he say?
"S'not your fault." His words ended up even more garbled; it was apparent that the exhaustion of the day had finally caught up to him. Next thing Magnus knew, Alexander was already out like a light.
"I'm still sorry, sayang." The second apology was spoken like a prayer as he planted a light kiss on his love's forehead.
"Sweet dreams, my love." All night long, Magnus remained awake, with the stars and Alec's adorable snores as his company, staunchly not thinking about how he would lose even those soon enough.