Waking up is like being pulled to the surface of water. Somewhere in the back of her mind it worries Kagome how slow her reactions are. The fingers of her left hand twitch. The fingers of her right do not.
"How's his fever?" comes a young voice, fretful and pained. Keiko, Kagome dimly recognizes, but cannot open the lids of her eyes to soothe her friend's anxiety.
"It broke last night," comes the unexpected voice of Shizuru. For a brief moment, Kagome's warms at the familiar tone. She had expected Genkai to keep a bedside vigil. Then the tired note in Shizuru's voice registers, and guilt sinks its teeth into Kagome. The fear hasn't quite come into consideration yet, Kagome's perception of the world still tinged with Lethe's dusty fingerprints. There's the sound of water droplets being squeezed from a towel, and then a cool, damp cloth swipes at Kagome's face, the gentle touch relaxing her. It's been so long since someone cared for her like this; Kagome finds herself suddenly wanting to catch Shizuru's hand, kiss the palm of it. Thank her for everything, because what did she do to deserve this loyal kindness?
"We're lucky Kagome didn't end up with rabies, huh?"
"What?" Shizuru absently asks, then, with more surety, "oh, right."
There's a pause, and Kagome silently wills her face to remain still, for her heart to not leap with anxiety. Ah, there's the fear, making itself known.
"And you're sure we're safe from the animal that did this? Because Master Genkai has been pacing around a lot."
An animal attack? She could work with an animal attack. Despite wanting to do nothing more than to push the issue away, to curl around her wound and allow for a few minutes to sort through her options, Kagome forces herself to continue listening in.
"Yes," Shizuru says slowly, like she's been asked this countless times and is slowly getting sick of it. Once again Kagome is struck with a pang of guilt. It couldn't have been easy, fending off everyone else. Keiko didn't even seem to realize Kagome's wound was a burn, not a bite; so she had probably been kept out of the room while Kagome's wound had been dressed. Good. Hopefully Genkai helpe-
Shooting up in her bed- the movement awkward and painful with the use of only one shoulder- Kagome ignores the warm rag sliding from her forehead into her lap, instead grabbing onto Shizuru's sleeve. Shizuru visibly startles, both her and Keiko going to stabilize Kagome and sitting her upright.
Kagome opens her lips to speak, her mouth like sandpaper. She reeks of sweat and pain, and is sure to look like a maniac to the other girls.
"Genkai. Where is Genkai?"
"I-I'll get her." Keiko looks frightened- Kagome doesn't blame her- and scrambles to stand up. For a moment she looks at Kagome as if she's something completely alien. "Kagome I… I hope you feel better soon." The door slides quietly shut behind her, and Shizuru wilts. She pours Kagome a glass of water, watches it be downed and pours another.
"You couldn't have waited for me to kick her out again?"
Again? Kagome must be making a face, because Shizuru just shakes her head.
"Makes sense you wouldn't remember," Shizuru mutters, and goes to work unwinding the bandages from Kagome's arm. "Half aware with a fever and rambling like crazy. C'mon, let me get these changed. You can't wake up like a normal person?"
"You can get out now," Kagome offers nonchalantly, but Shizuru can spot her hand trembling as it cradles the glass and knows Kagome's not talking about the first aid. "If… if you want. I'm… It's not safe to be near me, I know, I'll make sure you're safe either way, but I-" Kagome pauses, warily meets Shizuru's eyes. "I'm messing this up, aren't I?"
"On a level I didn't think you were capable of," Shizuru cheerily agrees. Her smile is blisteringly cold. "I don't need you for protection, Higurashi. In fact, if I'm recalling correctly, I just finished saving your ass from dying of an infected second degree burn." Kagome winces, but doesn't rebuke. She doesn't fight back at all, which of course softens Shizuru, turns her smile just a touch warmer. One thing about Kagome- for all her stubborness, she really did try to listen to people.
So maybe this will get through to her.
"You don't have to offer me anything. I'm not leaving." The involuntary way Kagome grips tighter to her cup and the noise that leaves her confirms Shizuru's hunch. The cup is taken from Kagome's hand.
"You don't know that," the other girl whispers.
So that's what it was, Shizuru confirms without an ounce of satisfaction. This is what keeps her at this girl's side: because no matter how confusing, how scary, how heavy all of this supernatural bullshit going on around them is, Kagome is the one that needs Shizuru. It prompts Shizuru to speak again; She laces their fingers together and says words that are obvious to her but clearly devastating to Kagome.
"You're not alone anymore. Stop trying to push me away, dummy."
Kagome stills. Then, slowly, like it takes all of her strength to do it, she gives in to her urge, lifts Shizuru's hand to her face and kisses the back of it. Shizuru's knuckles come away wet with tears. It's a thank you and I didn't mean it and I'm sorry and something else Kagome will never be allowed to name, and Shizuru doesn't get it, not yet, but she's willing to put in the effort.
Then Genkai enters the room and makes a beeline towards Kagome, and despite the harsh frown on her weathered face her eyes are softened with worry.
"Hey, idiot," the old woman greets, and Shizuru gets to watch Kagome's expression settle into something like comfort before forcing herself to look away.
It's interesting for Shizuru to study the established dynamic the other two have; they have to be familialsomehow, she's getting one of her Hunches. She just can't figure out how they know each other. They don't look anything alike, Kagome's never mentioned her (Before and After this weird magic mess started) and out of everyone in her family Kagome stays in contact with her? It's weird.
"Animal attack?" Kagome means to propose but it comes out uncertain. She's not daring to look away from Genkai or the stability the woman seems to provide her.
Genkai, in turn, pulls out a thin, long cigarette case. The process is quiet, uninterrupted and almost ritualistic: the case is slid smoothly open, a handrolled cigarette chosen, and Genkai slowly making a production of allowing Shizuru's offer of lighting it (a sure sign of her approval) and taking a first drag.
Genkai, Kagome knows, was startled- maybe even a bit frightened at how many unknown variables there were going into this, but the older woman was leagues ahead of Kagome in regards to her poker face.
It's reminiscent, how similar Genkai is to her ancestors. They'd never let her see them worry, because Kagome had been younger. She often wonders now, what an eighteen year old Miroku must have seen when he had looked at her. What conflict Sango must have felt, having her brother to save but having gained a sister to protect.
Back then, she didn't understand it, almost grew to resent all of the coddling. Now, surrounded by normal fourteen year olds- surrounded by children- she's grateful for their attempts at protecting her and Shippo. They loved her. Kagome knows they did, and she's carrying that knowledge in her heart for the rest of her existence.
Sure, Miroku had taken a bit to come around, too wily to put down roots without trust. A lot if conversations had been surface level, hidden taunts on his side that had been overlooked by an innocent fifteen year old.
Sango had been much the same, but worse; losing her entire family had been devastating, and the effects didn't go away immediately. Looking back, it was clear to Kagome that she had latched onto Keiko in the same manner that Sango had taken her underwing.
It still hurts to think of them. Kagome still loves them, these two people centuries dead, and just because her circumstances have changed so much doesn't mean her emotions have.
Sometimes Kagome feels overwhelmed with how much of her past she's carrying with her, but then her eyes dart to Shizuru- Shizuru, with her hidden house and hidden windchimes- and Kagome remembers what she's still missing.
Coming back to the present, Kagome allows for one more brief pang of longing to register. Then she takes her grief and carefully places it in a box for later unpacking.
"It's such a shame," Genkai drawls, "that boar hunting season hasn't come sooner."
Kagome and Shizuru let out breaths they hadn't realized they were holding.
"Yes," Kagome nods, frowning in thought. "It's a good thing that Shizuru saved me when she did."
"Huh?" Shizuru says.
"Yes," Genkai agrees, "a stroke of good luck that she found you after the boar dragged you so far."
"He had me by the forearm," Kagome adds, thinks about the fear she felt, back when she thought Enma would sense her power if she didn't make the decision of sacrificing her limb, and doesn't have to fake a shudder. Her dominant arm lays unresponsive under the covers. Every second is agony. "One of it's tusks gored my hand. I'll have to let it scar." Both Genkai and Shizuru's expressions darken at the statement, but Kagome obliviously continues on. "It'll be hard enough to explain how I got the mobility and use of it back at all, much less if there wasn't a mark. It's fine. At least I didn't lose any fingers."
Shizuru blew her bangs out of her face in frustration. "You are fuckingcrazy," she complains. Genkai grunts in agreement.
"Whatever," Kagome dismisses. There's a bigger picture needing to be kept whole here. "We'll have dinner, let them bring it up. That way it'll seem more organic." The last quarter hour seems to catch up to her, and Kagome only looks dizzy for a split second before Shizuru's guiding her to lay back down. She hears Genkai telling her to sleep, and for Shizuru to get out and take a shower.
"S'okay," Kagome manages, wants desperately for Shizuru to stay in the room, "she's already seen me do some stuff…"
Genkai studies the two of them, clicks her tongue and then sets to healing her. Shizuru holds her good hand and watches carefully, and Kagome is struck with the reminder of when Genkai had healed Kuwabara's crushed fingers. Shizuru had never seen her little brother's injury.
"Don't you have… couldn't you heal yourself?" Shizuru's stumbling. She never stumbles.
This type of wound was something else- Kagome is glad the bandages cover everything, even as the rapidly healing flesh itches furiously underneath the gauze. She knows from experience that watching someone's flesh reform is unpleasant at best, and her arm itches all over. Burns are awful. The more surface area affected, the more nerves are set alight. Worst case scenario the nerves have to be entirely regrown. Kagome is in too much pain, even if she's at full power she might mess up a few things.
And Kagome is not at full power.
"I'm on…" she looks for the right term, settling on "probation."
But Shizuru can see Genkai clench her jaw, knows the older woman either doesn't want to argue the explanation, or has argued it to such a useless extent that there's no longer a point.
"Probation implies you did something wrong," Shizuru says. "But I doubt you would."
Maybe it's the wrong thing to say, because Kagome suddenly looks exhausted and distant. "I'm spending the rest of my existence righting my wrongs."
"That sounds like bullshit," Shizuru offers her honest opinion. Genkai shoots a victorious grin at Kagome. It makes her look decades younger, and startlingly enough, quite a bit like Yusuke. "That's not fair at all."
Then Genkai loses her smile and Kagome gains a hunted look to her eyes. Kagome lifts her tender arm, much to the other two women's apalled reactions.
"Nothing in life says it has to be fair."
A knock interrupts the steadily worsening topic, and Shizuru is once again left frustrated and relieved with her lack of answers.
"You wanted to see us, Master Genkai?" Keiko's parents peek through the door, politely staying out of the room. They're immediately interrupted as Atsuko barrels between the two older adults, who look fondly exasperated but unsurprised by the younger woman.
"Where's the kid?" Atsuko demands. "Kagome?"
"Bepatient, Atsuko," chides Keiko's mother, but she joins in by asking, "but is he alright?"
Unable to help the smile crawling onto her face, Kagome shifts up a bit more in the bed. "I'm in here, auntie," she calls, and pretends to not see Genkai's pitying expression.There's nothing to pity, Kagome says. Maybe I am pathetic for playing a bit of pretend, but I'm not deluding myself into thinking she's my mother. I don't need pity.
Atsuko nearly bowls Kagome over, would have nearly collided onto the bed had Shizuru not firmly caught her back by the shoulders.
"Kagome's arm is injured," Shizuru said disapprovingly, making sure to not hurt Atsuko as she let the woman go.
"What the hell happened?!" Atsuko exploded. "You woke us up and you seemed fine, I don't-"
Kurama's mother had entered the room after the Yukimuras, and Kagome has to avoid listening to her soft and consoling voice. She chooses instead to grin up at Atsuko, and maybe Atsuko secretlyis nurturing- or maybe she's been taking classes- because she pushes Kagome's bangs from her face and cups her cheek.
"Fever's gone," Shizuru offers.
"Stupid kid," Atsuko says, dazed. Her hand is trembling on Kagome's chin.
Genkai's in the background explaining a poultice she had made to someone. Kagome's betting Kurama's mother, and hopes Genkai's selling the idea of a nature resort than she is because otherwise she's got an irritated canine on her hands; There's been quite a few of those already, thanks very much.
"There was…" her eyes slid to Genkai's before purposefully being directed to the sky. A bit of humiliation always sells a lie quicker, Miroku had once said. "I was going to the restroom and walked a bit too far from the car. I guess I made too much noise with the underbrush, because after I'm- uh, after I was done, I hear heavy steps coming towards me. Something sharp pulled me by the wrist and dragged me, and after a bit I just… had to go with it, or lose my arm entirely. Shizuru found me and scared the boar off with the bat she has in the car."
Kagome eyes Shizuru again, an entirely fond expression on her face. Shizuru can feel her heart quicken, even if it's just an act for Kagome's story. And it is. Just an act, that is.
See, Kagome is just too… good at lying.
Given what, maybe ten minutes after waking up from a fever, and her lie still manages to completely convince everyone who doesn't know? Hell, Shizuru was the only other one awake and if she hadn'tseen what Kagome had done… well, it's definitely an easy lie to swallow. Especially compared to the truth.
"Shizuru," Genkai calls, bringing the room's volume back to a low hush. "Is this what happened?"
Why would you question it? Shizuru wants to yell, but doesn't give herself more than a second to respond with a firm "Yes."
Genkai tsks again, places her chin in her palm and looks genuinely unnerved. "I didn't think the population had gotten so rowdy. I should have called, but Kagome, you know the woods are dangerous. Don't go off by yourself, young man."
On cue, Kagome hangs her head. Shizuru fights to keep her jaw from dropping. Nevermind- if this is who Kagome surrounds herself with it was absolutely no surprise that her ex-school mate could pull this off.
"And you," Genkai says, catching Shizuru's attention. The old woman's chin jerks in Kagome's direction. "Keep a better eye on this one for me, will you?"
Shizuru only offers a grin. She can feel how uneasy it is, but then Genkai shows some approval for playing along and it becomes more realistic. In for a penny, in for a pound.
"I promise," Shizuru says, and pretends to not see Kagome's head whip in her direction. Atsuko lets out a guffaw.
Shizuru almost can't believe that only a few hours ago, Kagome's limp form was sprawled across her back, arm tossed over Shizuru's shoulder as the group followed Genkai through the last stretch of the forest. She had been so pale.
Keiko laughs quietly, and Kagome seems to realize she's being teased because her eyes dart back to her lap, cheeks visibly red.
You can get out now, Kagome's words drift through her mind. Shizuru purses her mouth.
Fat chance.
AN-
hey. been tired lately. hope people are still reading this, and sorry it's taken so long to get out.