AN: Okay, this took way too long to make.
Heads-up, there is smut and it is terrible because I cannot write smut. Seriously, why did I think this was a good idea? I should stick to things I know I can do, like writing door guards.
If you don't want to read smut, you're better off not reading this entire thing.
I can't even with myself. I though this was going to be good "practice" for future endeavors, what a joke.
Again, read at your own peril.
Prophell out.
Keeper's Solace
A shadow.
A swordsman.
A scorpion.
A sinner.
What do they all have in common?
To Natsuki Subaru, these four "corners" have been the ones responsible for his death.
Well, deaths, actually.
Subaru's power of Return by Death was both a blessing and a curse.
With it, he could find a solution to any problem in his way.
At the same time, it could lead to inescapable loops of suffering.
Which is, unfortunately, what happened now.
Natsuki Subaru could have found a way to escape.
He could have saved everyone.
It is a shame that [Natsuki Subaru] is not like him at all.
For the 16th time, [Subaru] awoke in the appropriately-named "Green Room," a room (duh) filled with plants and vines, and inhabited by a benevolent spirit that healed all who entered the room. Although the spirit was invisible, he harbored a suspicion that it would be green, like the entire room it lived in.
If it was any other color, he was going to be disappointed.
Not like he could even feel disappointment anymore. His emotions were pretty ruined by the fact that he died 15 times. Seriously, this was supposed to be a fantasy world where he could be happy!
His early routine was like every other. He spoke with the half-elf girl and the blond midget with drill-shaped curls, met with the others at the table, discovered that the nice-looking purple-haired lady was actually a fur scarf that possessed her body or something, saw the drama that ensued, etcetera, etcetera.
By this point, all [Subaru] could think of was how great his other self must have been.
Whoever he had become in the missing year of his life, Subaru was clearly a renowned person, adored by all around him and beloved by his friends. Somehow, the real Subaru had gone on to accomplish amazing things, and now [Subaru] felt like nothing more than a cheap replacement, a downgraded copy of the original, an impostor, a mere counterfeit, a facsimile of a hero, a—
"Subaru?"
A voice like a silver bell called out to him. [Subaru] had grown accustomed to her presence by now, and he took pride in the fact that he remembered her name. Maybe she was close to the old Subaru? Whatever the case, there was no denying that the real him and the half-elf had some sort of relationship in the past, whether romantic or not.
As cheerfully as he could, [Subaru] turned and responded, "Hey! Emilia! What's up? Wait! Is this the moment you finally confess to me!? My, you're making me blush!"
"Subaru," she repeated, grabbing him by the cheeks. "You're acting awfully strange. Is everything alright? You know you can count on me if you need anything."
"Everything's alright, Emilia! Oh, no, there is a problem! You stole my heart and I can't find it! Agh, Emilia, your cuteness is killing me!"
Emilia sighed and let him go. "Subaru, have I told you you're a dunderhead?"
"Who even says that in this day and age!?"
Even if she huffed in annoyance, her smile seemed genuine. "What are you going to do now, Subaru?"
He thought for a moment. "Oh, I'm…going to the library! I want to check something out, yeah! It'll only take a minute, so stay safe alright? I can't be here to babysit all of you guys! Well, I'll babysit Beako and Meili, but I better get paid!"
Using his typical antics, [Subaru] made Emilia laugh and deflected her worry. That was good. He had to take on the burden Subaru left behind. He needed time to become the old him, and the library would be a good enough place to ponder on this mission.
So, [Natsuki Subaru] set off to the Taygeta library, in hopes of finding a way to discover his old self.
Taygeta's library was a massive place.
Even saying that was an understatement. The books of all the people that ever died filled the shelves of the library, their covers adorned in a language [Subaru] could never hope to understand. Try as he might, he could never find the library's end: the entire room seemed to violate space and time to exist.
Whoever built this place would be an architect's worst enemy. The bookshelves that reigned supreme in the room were the size of small buildings, and if one got lost here, there would be no escape.
That was fine. [Subaru] wholeheartedly expected to fail again.
This loop was doomed.
While he walked, he looked at the books, attempting to at least begin to understand the strange characters displayed on the covers. By now, he had been in the library for a half hour or so, the perfect amount of time to get lost in the endless sea of books.
What would happen if he toppled the bookshelves?
Eh, just a question for another time.
So he walked and walked, ignoring the swirling thoughts in his head, the voice that sounded an awful lot like him, the thousand million billion books that observed him as if amused, the crushing weight of failure, the pain of death, the horror he felt as he tumbled into the abyss of the spiral staircase, the images of those he knew lying dead on the floor, th—
Before he knew it, [Subaru] was on the ground, sobbing.
Great. He went through all this trouble to hide in the library and now the people outside could find him by his crying. What a mess, what a pathetic display. The real Subaru would definitely not break down into sobs on the cold floor of a tower library while awaiting death. The real one could definitely find a way out of this; he could surely save everyone. The real Subaru was a hero, a perfect man who never, ever, failed.
What even was the point of continuing?
To move forward is all great and stuff, but what happens when there is no way to keep going? Why would he even want to go on? Sure, some of the people here with him seemed nice enough, but he barely even knew them! By now, [Subaru] knew his acquaintances' corpses more than he knew their living selves.
So then, why should he try to save them? What stopped him from running away other than the fact that he would most definitely not survive in the desert for long? Was there any reason he should not just grab the loyal Patrasche and flee?
Once before, [Subaru] had tried to make murder into a habit. Hoping to reconstruct his old self with his companions' books of the dead, he attempted to slay everyone in the tower, but his plan was foiled thanks to his untimely death.
Though, a certain thought occurred to him: were everyone's books stored here?
Could there be books about his deaths?
Before he could pursue the matter any further, [Subaru] felt a pair of arms embrace him from behind. He would have turned to see who it was that had disturbed his peaceful laying-on-the-floor time, but the long strand of brown hair that fell on him gave it away.
"Shaula? What're you even doing here?"
"I saw master on the floor and decided to lay next to him, yep!"
[Subaru] remembered Shaula quite well. She was, by far, the most attached to him out of all the people in the tower. Whatever her past with his other self was, he was not going to let it fade away; he was going to bring back Natsuki Subaru no matter how many times he was forced to try.
Half-turning to see his new laying-on-the-floor time companion, [Subaru] spoke, "Uh, Shaula? Don't you think the floor's…kinda uncomfortable?"
"Nope! If master is on the floor, then so am I!"
"You don't have to do that, really! I must've told you before, but I'm pretty sure I'm not your master!"
"Yes you are," she replied as if it was completely common knowledge, like the color of the sky. "If you aren't my master, then why do you smell like him!?"
"Hell if I know, but I promise I'm not him!"
"Whatever you say, master!"
He was getting nowhere with this, was he?
On the floor, he felt Shaula scoot a little closer, to the point that it was clear she never heard the term "personal space." She continued to hold him from behind, and, frankly, her physical strength was a tad too strong, maybe strong enough to crack his ribs like a dropped egg.
"Master seemed sad," she pointed out. "In cases like these, it falls to me to fix this, yep!"
With a little bit of extra strength, she attempted to pull him to his feet. Unfortunately for the star-keeper, she underestimated [Subaru's] skill as a shut-in to remain unmoving for long periods of time!
She just tried a little harder and forced him to his feet.
Ignoring Shaula, who was still clinging to his back, the black-haired boy asked, "Alright, now that I'm up, what do you want?"
Behind him, she jumped in place like an excited child. "I want master to cheer up! He doesn't look good with that gloomy face!"
Taking advantage of her slightly shorter stature, the keeper started tickling [Subaru].
Try as he might to retain his moody demeanor, Shaula's antics were enough to cause him to smile and, a few seconds later, start genuinely laughing, which he had not done since his first loop or two. Now he was back on the floor, face-up, while she kept tickling him.
At last, she stopped, and [Subaru] was about to get up when he felt her hand push him back down onto something soft. "Shaula, what are you doing?"
The only response he got was a shushing noise, and he turned to see that she was in a slightly higher position than him and at an awkward angle. That, coupled with the pillowy feeling under his head, led to only one conclusion, one that Shaula confirmed with a happy nod.
"Master looked down a bunch of times before, and he always said a lap pillow would cheer him up, yep!"
While he was inclined to tell her that he was most definitely not her master, and that he had no memory of who she even was apart from this interaction and a couple of others, he just could not find the heart to kill her joy, even if she was so cheerful that it would have been an impossible task to begin with. Besides, laying on her lap felt nice.
It felt even better when she started patting his head, although she was slightly too rough and energetic.
"Shaula," he commented, letting himself relax. "Why are you doing this? Why go so far for me?"
"Because you're my master!"
He sighed and allowed her to keep ruffling his hair.
Even so, Shaula still felt that her job was incomplete. "Master, why were you so sad?"
"I wasn't sad!"
"Hm, then whose crying did I hear earlier?"
Try as he might, [Subaru] could not stop his face from reddening. "It was nothing! I promise, I'm fine!"
Slowly, she passed a hand over his body. "Master doesn't seem to be hurt…what else could have made you cry?"
"It wasn't a big deal…I swear…"
For the first time, he saw her smile fall.
Just as he was going to apologize or at least try to correct whatever he said that made her sad, [Subaru] once again felt her pick him up and reposition him so he was laying his head on her chest. Like before, she kept running her hand through his hair, although she was going at a slower pace than before. At one point, she stopped, and just as he was about to ask what had happened, she planted a kiss on his head.
"Master, I don't like seeing you so gloomy. I wanna cheer you up."
She held him a bit tighter, and [Subaru] could feel her heartbeat while she kissed the top of his head again.
"Tell me," she implored. "Why were you so sad?"
"I…I'm going to fail again, Shaula," he finally admitted. "I want to save you all, but I can't! I just…I'm going to be a failure again! We're going to die!"
As he ranted, he squeezed Shaula, forgetting for a second that she was an actual person and not a pillow. She did not mind, however, especially since her strength was far greater.
"Shaula," he uttered. "I'm sorry! I'm going to fail again, and I can't find a way to save you!"
"That's alright, yep."
Confused by her strange response, he looked at her and found the keeper smiling.
"It's alright," she repeated. "If I die with master, then I'll be happy. If I die protecting him, then I'll be happy."
To say [Subaru] was baffled would be an understatement. "Shaula…you don't get it! Why!? Don't…don't just say you're happy to die!"
She closed her eyes and leaned in close to him.
Before [Subaru] even realized what would follow, their lips connected.
Their kiss was awkward, to say the least. Neither had any experience with romance or such things beyond second-hand knowledge, and it showed with how Shaula broke away soon after and kissed his forehead.
"Master," she uttered, barely audible. "I don't mind dying if it's with the only one I love…"
Silence took over as both of them were unable to think of something to say.
It was [Subaru] that broke the silence at last. "Shaula, I can't tell you this enough times: I'm not the man you love. Even if I once was, it's lost, along with my memories."
"Then, let's make new ones, master!"
Noticing that he was still leaning on her chest, Shaula moved him back down onto her lap and grabbed his wrist. Using her strength, she placed his hand on top of her breast, while ruffling his hair with her free hand.
Immediately, [Subaru] panicked. What was happening? Why was she doing this? What was he supposed to do? Should he tell her to stop? Did he really want this?
"S-Shaula," he managed to stammer out. "Wh-what are you d-doing!?"
"You don't seem to understand how much I love you, master," the keeper replied with a smirk. "So I have to show you!"
"No no no! You don't have to show me anything! I get it now, thanks!"
Try as he might, [Subaru] was time and again reminded of her superior physical strength every time he attempted to pull his hand away. After what felt like an infinity but was probably just half a minute, Shaula let go of his hand.
Freed from her grasp, he pondered on what to do next. Everything felt like it was moving so fast. One second, he breaks down on the floor and the next, the eccentric tower guardian is aggressively hitting on him. It felt wrong, especially knowing that he was not Natsuki Subaru but rather an imitation of him, and yet he did not want to the moment to end. Torn between wanting to stay in her loving embrace or leaving and facing the four threats that plagued the area, he was more inclined to pick the former.
He needed to know something first, though. "Shaula…you don't have to do this, you know?"
She bent down to plant a kiss on his forehead again. "But I want to! And master needed to be cheered up, yep! It was a perfect trade!"
Being on her lap, feeling her caress his head, made him never want to leave. Was this the much-needed break he sought since he first tumbled onto that endless drop near the staircase?
"Besides," she added, leaning close to his ear to whisper. "It's been centuries since I last saw you, and I want to show you that my love's only grown."
[Subaru] was unsure it was possible for his face to get any redder.
Shaula continued, "Of course, if you don't want to, just tell me, yep! I don't mind waiting a little while longer for you to realize you love me!"
In what was easily the most humiliating moment of his life, he uttered, "Shaula, I…I want to…"
She nodded. "I understand! Leave it all to me!"
Making sure the boy on her lap was as comfortable as he needed to be, Shaula resumed brushing his hair with one hand, and put the other on his chest, right over his heart. Slowly, she moved her hand downward, and stopped right at his hip. As carefully as possible, she pulled down his black pants, leaving him in his underwear.
On her lap, [Subaru] found himself oddly relaxed. Sure, this may be the most physically intimate he's ever been with another person, and he read a couple of…"manga" about moments like these, but he was not nervous. If anything, Shaula's gentle treatment of him had served to calm him down a great deal.
The keeper turned to him and placed her hand right above his briefs, as if asking for permission. When he nodded, she wasted no time in moving her hand into his underpants and getting to work.
If [Subaru] had to guess, this is what heaven would be like.
Resting his head on her thigh while she gently stroked his erection was possibly the best moment of his life. Letting his eyes close and forgetting about the peril that awaited him in the near future, he felt like he could be in this situation forever and never get tired of it.
Shaula, too, was pleased with this development. Four centuries of isolation, even if she was ordered to carry them out by her master, were enough to drive any human insane. Thankfully, she was not a human, which made it…just a tad easier to be alone for such a long time. And now, her master finally came back, and she had the golden opportunity to show him her feelings! Shaula was smart, and she most definitely would not let this opportunity get away from her!
The fact that most – if not all - of her experience with sexual topics came from books and what Reid would unhelpfully say to her every five to ten seconds was not enough to stop her!
Now, looking down at the resting boy, she felt pure joy. He had been understandably nervous about the whole situation, and she was, too, but this was something they both wanted, right? There was no harm in a little fun on the library! Besides, this would mean nothing unless someone found out, so [Subaru] was free to either forget it or reciprocate her feelings! Sure, she hoped it was the latter, but it was not as if she would not understand.
Her love had only grown in these four centuries, and it would make perfect sense if his love had faded away.
Oh, well, if that was the case, all Shaula had to do was remind him of his feelings!
Without warning, she sped up her hand's motion, rubbing his shaft with less care and more enthusiasm. If his groans were anything to go by, then it seemed her strategy was working!
She allowed herself a smug grin.
It was her who had made him feel good. It was her who had cheered him up when he was at his lowest. The pink girl and the fluffy purple one and the Satella look-alike had nothing to do with this. It had all been her accomplishment.
A hand touched her braid, and she soon discovered it had been [Subaru's]. Not daring to waste a single second, she grabbed the wandering hand and placed it on her bosom, feeling content when he began softly kneading it.
She heard him speak, "S-Shaula…I'm close…"
Just hearing her name coming from him was enough to make her giddy, but knowing that he was enjoying her "help" was perfect. She decided to show her appreciation the best way she knew how: physically.
Leaning down, Shaula once again kissed her beloved on the mouth, and this time, she did not break away. Like before, it was inconvenient and stiff, showing their lack of practice, but it soon became more comfortable. She felt their tongues connect, and it made her feel as elated as she could possibly hope to be. Within seconds, [Subaru] moaned her name again, and she was pleasantly surprised to feel something warm and gluey on her hand.
"Sorry," he managed to stammer once the kiss ended. "I…got a little too excited…"
With her clean hand, which was still on his head, she patted his cheek. "Hey! I'm doing this to cheer you up! If you start saying you're sorry, then it'll be for nothing, and I'll have to do this all over again, yep!"
The black-haired boy chuckled. "You're tempting me to keep saying it!"
Admittedly, Shaula did understand his point, so she responded with her greatest tactic: pouting.
"Fine," [Subaru] conceded. "I promise to not say it again."
She gave him a beaming smile and propped him into a sitting position, taking her dirtied hand out of his underwear. [Subaru] saw her hand all covered in his own semen and, to be at least a little helpful, began to remove his cloak.
"Shaula, here. You can use it to clean up."
By the time he managed to pull off his cloak, however, there was not a trace of the white substance on her hand, and the keeper was giving him her usual dumb smile, as if asking him to be proud of her.
Sure, he may not have his memories, but [Subaru] was far from stupid, and he could at least put two and two together. As soon as he did, he turned his face away with obvious shyness and mumbled something incomprehensible while still offering his cloak.
At least she took the cloak and dried her hand.
Now, Shaula hugged him from behind again, and gave him a peck on the nape. "So~, are you feeling better now?"
"Yeah. You didn't have to go that far, you know? Not that I disliked it or anything! It's just that it feels…wrong. I told you I'm not your master and you still did it."
"You looked all down and depressed, so I just had to make you feel a little better, yep! It wasn't that hard to do!"
He did not respond. At least not with words, as he grabbed one of her arms and gave her a quick kiss on the forearm. The keeper seemed to appreciate the gesture, given that she nuzzled her face into his back.
And, for a short while, they remained like that, just basking in each other's company.
The silence would have remained had Shaula not broken it to say, "I love you."
Her hug loosened for a second, and she took in a deep breath before continuing. "Master, you may say you don't remember me…and you can even say you're not…"
There was silence for a second as she considered her next words. "I…I've been wanting to tell you how I feel for so long…and now that I can finally do it…"
[Subaru] patted the floor in front of him, and she let go to sit where he indicated. Once she settled down, he wrapped his arms around her and placed his chin on her head, while she just gave him a tired smile.
"You won't," she spoke, almost as if asking him. "You won't…right? I couldn't take it…if you left again."
"I promise you I won't," was his response.
Hearing that, she let herself melt into his embrace. "Don't leave me, master. I'm nothing without you…"
With as much care as he could muster, the black-haired boy moved a little closer to her and whispered, "You're wrong."
Visibly taken aback by that accusation, she turned her head to face him, and [Subaru] could see the heartbreak in her eyes. "No, no…it's true! Master is the Sage! The smartest man ever! I just…stayed here for so long…what is that compared to you?"
"Don't sell yourself short, Shaula. You helped me just now when I was about to give up, and I assume you helped my previous self quite a fair number of times as well. Even if you think doing good for just one person is too little, it's a start. Do you think the Sage became who he was overnight?"
"But master's so great! How can you even compare me to him!? He was friends with that scum Reid and Volcanica, and Satella liked him, and the Witches hung out with him, and he helped that Hoshin guy, and so much more! For my entire life…I just looked out a balcony."
As the brown-haired keeper frowned, he chuckled. "Shaula, did you hear yourself?"
"What did I say?"
Looking to him for answers while worrying what she could have possibly said that he found funny, Shaula was confounded to find him smiling warmly. "You asked how I could compare you to your master, so unless you have a weird way of addressing people, it looks to me like you accepted who I am."
With realization in her gaze, she began muttering, mostly to herself, "No, no I didn't…I never said that…you're my master…he wouldn't leave me…"
"Shaula, I love you."
That was all it took for her to stop muttering. After a second of being frozen in place, she tipped toward him and rested her head on his chest. Imitating what she did for him before, [Subaru] stroked her head and peppered her with kisses, using all his knowledge and experience to at least try to calm her down. He had been in a similar position when Shaula first arrived, and she helped him keep his emotions in check; it was only fair he did the same for her.
Sure, she went a bit…above and beyond in her attempt to relieve his stress, but…
Hey, now, could he do the same for her?
"Shaula," as he spoke her name, she looked into his eyes. "I…I don't know if my old me told you, but I love you. And I want to help you, like you helped me."
For the first time since he first awoke without memories, [Subaru] saw the keeper both blushing and speechless. "You would…?"
Soothingly, he placed a hand on her stomach and, with his palm, made traced a circular motion. Shaula clearly liked the contact, and her smile returned while she hummed a certain tune her master had once said he liked. To her, it was just another piece of music.
Only [Subaru] recognized it as the Dog of Flanders theme.
Lowering the hand on the keeper's stomach, he hooked his thumb on her hotpants and waited for her permission to take things further. Since she was slightly occupied humming and did not notice his action, the amnesiac tugged her belt.
Now that he had her attention, he saw Shaula nod and grab one of his arms, the one that was still hugging her.
Trying to avoid sudden movements that might only heighten the anxiety both of them already felt, [Subaru] took his time unbuckling and pulling down her hotpants, making sure to provide the anxious girl ample time to change her mind about the whole situation.
Shaula did not stop him, but instead tightened her grip on his arm.
After a couple of seconds, he managed to get the belt out of the way, and it did not take him long to lower the garment itself. Once it was just a bit above her knees, he let go and placed his hand back on her stomach, repeating the same circular motion from before as if trying to help her recover from a stomachache.
Her breathing, which had been uneven and heavy, turned normal again, and she placed a kiss on the arm she was holding while he just looked her over.
Given that his memories of this new world were extremely limited, [Subaru] could only base his assumption that being stunningly attractive was a requirement of this world on the few adults he met, who numbered about 5 people total (even that Julius guy was attractive!). Whether it was some unseen deity making people look good or just the result of everyone hitting the genetic lottery, he found himself mesmerized by Shaula more than anyone else, even the silver-haired Emilia who he, in another life, would have most definitely fallen for.
He found everything about her enticing, from the long braid of brown hair (which she insisted on calling a "scorpiontail"), the strange eyes she had, and finally the unusual mannerisms she displayed. Now, seeing her nervous instead of cheery like usual made him, for a reason he could not understand, even more inclined to see more of this side of her.
With a quick glance at her body and now-exposed crotch, he spoke, "You need to love yourself more."
Understandably confused about the comment, she took some time to respond. "I…I don't understand…"
"Just now you were saying how you're nothing compared to your master, whoever he may be. You were putting yourself down, just like I was earlier, and trust me: it only makes things worse. If you hadn't…'helped' me out of that situation, I would have…I don't know, but I wouldn't be here with you."
While he attempted to encourage Shaula to be more accepting of herself, the amnesiac began lowering the hand he had placed on her stomach.
"You're amazing," he continued. "You're beautiful and helpful and always so happy all the time. Honestly, I'm even a bit jealous! But, even if you're the apprentice to the 'smartest man ever,' you are still a living being, and it's good if you have feelings, opinions, and all that stuff. You need to be your own person."
He was going to say "human" instead of "living being," but then he remembered that she is about four centuries old, so he was forced to adapt the terminology.
"Mmm," Shaula murmured with joy evident on her face. "Thank you…"
Instead of continuing his little motivational speech, [Subaru] decided to – just like she had done before – show her how much he cared for her. Once his hand reached the top of her slit, he gently rubbed his fingertips against it, earning a few low moans from the keeper.
Bit by bit, their unease dissolved, and both of them found themselves enjoying each other's touches. He felt his hand grow damp, and heard her quiet moans became more frequent. Taking advantage of her relaxation, he planted another kiss on her head.
For just a second, he stopped rubbing the top of her slit and asked, "Do you…want to go further?"
"Mhm…"
Now that he had her permission, he lowered his hand a bit more, just so it covered her nether region. With all the care he could muster, [Subaru] slid his index finger into her, making the keeper yelp in surprise.
Not that she disapproved of the action, however.
Shaula was overwhelmed. For centuries, she wanted nothing more than to reunite with her master, Flugel, and resume her previous life as his apprentice. Reid Astrea might have died and Satella may have turned into a genocidal maniac, but so long as she had Flugel, she never would have cared about the rest of the world.
And now, some stranger just changed all that in minutes!
She would have felt insulted, maybe even furious at something like this, but – try as she might – she just could not find the will to ask him to leave her alone. She considered herself a smart individual, and even then, she could not find out why she did not just Hell's Snipe this man into nothingness and resume her duty. Was the isolation finally getting to her?
Whatever the cause was, she decided to investigate it later. Now, all she wanted to do was enjoy the moment and relax. Or, at least try to relax, since it is not very easy to do when someone puts their finger in you.
Once again, the amnesiac gave her a kiss on the head, and Shaula would be lying if she said she disliked it. This whole situation was amazing. Was this her reward for centuries of loyal service? If so, she would gladly go through it again. Feeling him kiss her head made her want more, and every second that went by only increased that strange feeling in her stomach that she knew only from books, as Reid was kind of an unreliable source.
"Shaula," she heard him say, snapping her out of her thoughts. "I don't…really have any experience with this, heh. Am I doing it right?"
"Mhm."
Motivated by her assurances, [Subaru] started to speed up his hand's movements.
In response, she brought her thighs together and rubbed them, as if attempting to ease an itch. Both of their movements lost their earlier gentleness as Shaula's moans grew louder and she turned her body to face him as best as she could. Ensuring his hand remained in place, she went on the offensive and placed her mouth on his collarbone, softly nibbling his skin.
For a short while, the two continued this act, both of them relishing the physical contact they shared. At last, Shaula let go of his collarbone and placed a kiss on his neck, then moved up and kissed his lips, letting a few short and high-pitched groans escape her. Within seconds, she pressed into his body and let out one final moan as she reached her climax.
Breaking away from one another, both the keeper and the black-haired amnesiac were panting and short of breath. His job complete, [Subaru] removed his soaked hand from her crotch, taking in the sight of the usually cheerful and untiring Shaula now sweating and holding onto him for support.
"M-mas…ter~," the tired keeper uttered. "That…I never…"
With his clean hand, he cupped the back of her head and pulled her into his shoulder, letting her lean onto his body. Feeling her nuzzle into the crook of his neck, he slowly patted her head and ran his hand through her hair, taking the moment to appreciate what had happened.
"Ma~ster, what…what was that? It was so weird…"
He remained silent, opting to keep caressing her head.
"Was…was that how…you felt earlier?"
"Yeah, I really need to thank you, heh."
Silence.
Not that it was awkward. On the contrary, just being there by themselves, the two of them savored the moment of peace and quiet. [Subaru] cherished it even more, knowing full well that, despite how amazing this loop was, it was still doomed to fail. Surrounded by the countless books of the Taygeta library, he decided to enjoy what was left of this loop as much as he could.
"Shaula, how did you find me here? I thought the library was big enough to get lost in."
"It wasn't hard to…follow your smell, master. You stink."
"Gee," the black-haired boy chuckled. "Clearly I don't stink enough to drive you away."
"Mmm, master smells like Satella. It's rude to smell like another woman when you said you loved me, yep!"
"Hey! It's not like I chose to smell like this!"
"Haha! Does master need a bath!? If he asks nicely, I'll help!"
"Where would you even get the water from? We're in a desert!"
"Mhm, I'm smart! I'll think of something, master, just you wait!"
Again, the two quieted down, and only their breathing could be heard in the library.
Still resting against his neck, Shaula said, "Master…you really aren't…master, are you? You were telling the truth."
"I'm sorry," was his response. "If I was your master, I wouldn't even be in such a terrible situation, would I?"
"Is it alright…if…"
After minutes of embracing him, she pulled away and looked at him with hopeful eyes.
"Would you…be my new master?"
Well, he was definitely not expecting that one.
[Subaru] took a second to process what she had said, and responded, "Yes, I'd like that."
In an instant, he found himself on the floor, with a very excited Shaula laying on top of his gut. "Thank you! Thank you thank you thank you!"
"Hey! You're quite the excitable one, aren't you!?"
"Master~! Congratulate me! Tell me I did a good job!"
"I never even ordered you to do anything!"
"You're such a grump!"
Their bantering ended when she once more gave him that same eager look as before. "Master~! Can we…can we have sex!?"
"Hey, wait a minute! Do you even know what you're saying!?"
She nodded, and her braid slapped her in the face. "Ow…but yeah! I know what it means! Reid wouldn't shut up about it!"
"The redhead!? Damn, I knew he was a sick one but to be such a bastard!"
"Master~," she continued, grabbing him from his shirt's collar and shaking him. "Can we!? I wanna know what he was talking about! Old-master gave me a couple of books about such stuff but I wanna know!"
Facing the choice of either relenting or being shaken to death, [Subaru] conceded. "Alright! But do you even know what to do!?"
She put her finger to her chin, imitating a classic thinking pose. "Hm, not really, but I'm smart! I'll figure it out, master, yep!"
As soon as she let go of his shirt, the amnesiac boy grabbed her by the stomach and flipped their current position so that she was the one laying on the floor. The next second, she wrapped her legs and arms around him, as if scared he would run away.
"Shaula, let me take the lead here, alright?"
"Whatever you say, yep!"
In the position that he was in, [Subaru] could see the half-naked keeper (technically, with her outfit, she was always half-naked) below him, and the realization of what he was doing finally caught up to him. His face redder than the Astrea family's trademark hair, he grabbed her hand.
"Shaula," he stammered. "Are you sure you want to…? This is…something important."
With her typical beaming smile, she answered, "It is important, that's why I'm asking master and not someone else!"
Steeling himself, he bent closer to her and put his hands on her bikini top, trying his hardest to untie it. Seconds of struggling turned into a very awkward half a minute, and Shaula chuckled and moved his hands away to untie the knot herself.
It took her two seconds.
Without the tied strings holding it together, the bikini top fell apart and exposed her ample breasts. Like before, she grabbed his hand and placed it on top of her chest, letting him feel her flesh and massage it to his heart's content, which he began doing soon afterward. Every gentle squeeze and touch made her feel the best she could possibly hope to ever feel, both physically and emotionally.
Using his free hand, [Subaru] began to lower it down her body, once again stopping right above her groin, before pulling it away and beginning to tug down his underpants.
Slowly, he rubbed his tip against her slit, making both of them moan from the anticipation.
[Subaru] spoke, "Shaula, I'll ask one final time: are you sure?"
She nodded.
Lowering his body to be as close as he could to her, [Subaru] entwined his fingers with hers and, making sure to move slowly, pushed into her.
Just earlier, he had presumed that lying on her lap was what heaven felt like, but now he felt like he had to change that definition.
The sensation was amazing, and he understood why people made such a big deal about it. It was everything he expected and more. Feeling Shaula's body heat, hearing their moans mix, seeing her get as close to him as she could, all of it made him wish this moment lasted forever.
"Ma~ster~, it feels…weird…"
"Just…give it a second…did it hurt you?"
She shook her head, relieving his fear that he may have accidentally been too rough with her. For a short time, the two remained connected and unmoving, preparing themselves to go further.
"Tell me…when you're ready, alright, Shaula?"
"Mhm…"
After a few deep breaths, Shaula nodded again.
Ensuring that he did not accidentally hurt her, [Subaru] began thrusting. The sexual pleasure combined with her warm embrace made him feel like every single other thrill he ever felt was completely trivial compared to this moment.
Deciding that it would be unfair if he was the only one that felt this good, he let go of Shaula's hand and wrapped his arms around her while lowering his mouth to her nipple and sucking it. She also let go of his body and began cradling his head, planting short and quick kisses as if her life depended on it.
"Ma~ster, there's…a weird feeling in my stomach…"
Afraid that the "weird feeling" might be something bad, he began slowing down only for her to quickly add, "It's not bad! Don't worry, it just…it's kinda itchy, master…"
With that, he resumed thrusting into her, this time with increased speed.
[Subaru] let go of her breast and, mimicking what she had done earlier, began nibbling her neck while she got as close as possible to his ear and whispered.
"Thank you…after so long…"
Before he could react, Shaula used her strength to flip both of them over, being the one on top but still leaning close to him.
"Master…you've done so much for me. Let me do something for you…"
Having taken the lead, she rode him with as much speed she could muster, giving both of them more pleasure than they had thought possible.
The two traded kisses as much as they could, barely allowing themselves time to breathe, as if the other would disappear the moment they stopped their movements.
For minutes, both continued their act, focused only on one another and letting everything that plagued them before disappear.
To Shaula, this was the moment she waited for her whole life. Finally, someone let her be herself, do what she wanted to do. Flugel was a good man, sure, but even she had to admit that some things he did left her disappointed, and abandoning her in a tower for centuries definitely counted as one of them.
[Subaru], too, was savoring the moment as much as he could. Several times already, he was forced to start from scratch and go through hell just to fail over and over again. Now, he had a chance to cast all those worries aside and spend time with someone who loved him. Him, the amnesiac who could only aspire to live up to his former self.
At last, he had a reason to keep fighting.
No matter how many tries it took him, he would do his best to at least save Shaula. That is what he would keep going forward for.
Pulling her closer, he kissed her lips and embraced her as he felt his own climax approach.
Their lips still connected, he moaned out her name as best he could as he felt a wave of relief hit him, with a sudden tiredness coming soon afterward. As Shaula moved away, she gave him one last quick peck on the nose and stood up, giving him a good view of her stunning body.
"Shaula…," he murmured, exhausted. "What are you…"
As he lay on the floor, she removed her cloak – the last piece of clothing she had on as far as he could see – and draped it over him like a blanket before kneeling next to his head and caressing it.
"Thank you so much, master…"
"Shaula…I don't want to…to sleep."
She grinned and lied next to him, wrapping him in her hug and placing his head on her bare chest. "It's alright. Sleep, master. You need it."
[Subaru] would have complained, but he found himself too relaxed to do so. His eyelids felt heavy, and his breathing became even as he slipped into his dreams.
The last thing he felt was her hand ruffle his hair.
For the 17th time, [Subaru] awoke in the appropriately-named "Green Room."
While Emilia and Beatrice barraged him with questions like every other time, he remembered the events of the past loop and felt his emotions threaten to boil over. All that had happened in the library had now technically never happened, and only he recalled that experience.
Just as happened so many times before, he accompanied the two of them to a table with all the other people in the tower and the purple-haired lady revealed she was actually a scarf or whatever while everyone pondered on what could be done and what not. He did not pay attention, really, as he was far too busy looking at Shaula, as if staring at her like a madman would make her magically realize what transpired last loop.
She returned his glance and gave him a wink.
The meeting concluded, and he made his way to the Taygeta library again. Last loop, he had considered the possibility of finding his books of the dead, and now was the time to confirm or deny that hypothesis.
"Subaru, remind me of your plan again."
In the entrance to the library, everyone had gathered to hear out [Subaru's] proposition, and all of them were understandably confused when he asked to find books written in a character none could read.
"Julius, c'mon, it's not that hard! Just look for any book that you can't read and bring it to me here at the entrance!"
Emilia raised her hand. "Subaru? If we can't read them, how will you be able to?"
"Don't worry! I will be able to read them! Now, if there's no more questions, let's get to work!"
Everyone fanned out and began their search except Julius.
"You're kidding me," the amnesiac said. "What do you want now!?"
"If I may be so bold, I have one last question."
"On with it then! Shoot!"
"Subaru…"
"Yes?"
"Why are you carrying the Sage on your back?"
It was true that he had Shaula on his back, but [Subaru] really did not understand why it was such a big deal. "She asked nicely, now go on, get!"
The knight looked mildly confused and offended, but he turned and walked into the library.
All by himself (except for the sleeping Shaula who he was carrying like a backpack), [Subaru] sat and took a second to think about what would come next. If his plan succeeded, would his real self return? Would Subaru hold Shaula as dear as he did?
Although the events of the past loop were completely erased, he would make sure their influence would not be.
"It's over."
"I beat you, at last."
"You've lost, Louis Arneb!"
The blond child merely cast him a look of confusion, tilted her head, and uttered, "Gwa?"
Natsuki Subaru, the real one, held in his hands the culprit behind his memory loss and the suffering he experienced: the Sin Archbishop Louis Arneb, of Gluttony.
For an as-of-yet unexplained reason, Louis's mind had shattered, and she was reduced to an infant-like state. She followed him around and acted like a child, even if she wore the appearance of a despicable killer.
With one of her brothers dead and another captured, the Gluttonies would no longer be a threat. Whatever transpired here was a mystery to him, but the result was clear: the tower was intact, Rem had awoken (with amnesia), the Witch tried to attack and was driven away by Volcanica, and three Archbishops were neutralized, one of them gone forever.
Again, Louis spoke, "Da!"
"No! I am not your father!"
"Da!"
"No!"
From behind Subaru came a familiar voice. "Subaru…I consider you my friend, but…"
"But what, Julius!?"
"But this 'lolimancer' thing has got to stop. It has become an obsession."
"What 'lolimancer' thing!? I don't want this kid near me! Take her away somewhere!"
"Aw!"
Julius shook his head, but he picked Louis up and took her to the carriage where her brother was sealed, hopefully to seal her too.
And Subaru was alone.
What a trip it had been. The trials, losing his memories, the…uh, the library thing…
Yeah, he was going to have a long talk with [Subaru] about that one!
Looking around the Green Room for the last time, he took a deep breath, which was forcefully knocked out of him by an all-too-familiar scorpion's hug.
"Master! That was so cool, yep! Don't worry, if you say the girl is an enemy, I believe you!"
Having regained his amnesiac self's memories, Subaru was unsure if he could ever look at Shaula the same way again. Not that he did not understand his other self's plight, but what happened in that library was best left forgotten.
"Master! Are you and your friends gonna leave!? We can still have fun together, yep!"
"Shaula," he sighed. "I have to go."
"Nope," she replied, shaking her head and making her braid hit her in the face. "Ow...I mean, nope! Master can stay as long as he wants!"
Turning to face her, Subaru returned the hug. "I'm sorry, but I need to go back to the manor. Maybe…"
Her eyes lit up. "Maybe what!? Maybe what!?"
"Maybe you can come with us."
For a second, she remained with her usual smile, before letting it drop. "Wait, seriously? Master would let me go with him?"
"I mean, it's not like the place needs much protection so long as Volcanica is here, right?"
A second of silence passed, and she looked him in the eyes. "Does that mean I can leave?"
He nodded, and soon found himself in the floor with a very emotional Shaula hugging him and mumbling something incoherent as he patted her head.
Sure, he still wondered how his…"relationship" with her would develop over time, but maybe he should just wait and see. With Rem having lost her memories and Emilia still undecided, adding someone else in to the mix made him feel like a scumbag.
God, his love life was a mess.
Bonus:
Well, that happened.
Maybe it did not actually happen! Maybe she just imagined that whole moment in the library! Yeah, that was it!
Oh, never mind. Denial would get her nowhere.
Even now, her other personality was threatening to destroy the world thrice over just for that little display of affection the scorpion girl had shown.
Well, it was her fault, not the scorpion's. If she had never given her beloved this power, maybe he would have not been put into such a situation.
Who was she even kidding?
She was jealous! Envious! Spiteful!
Maybe she and the Witch did have some things in common after all.