too dumb to be guilty

"Expressss your wishhhhes!"

Roswaal spoke with his usual antics.

Subaru stood up from his seat, and while looking at nothing in particular, exclaimed his desire as enthusiastically as he could muster.

"I only have one request, and it's to work at this mansion!"

An awkward silence hung in the air. She sneezed.

"Hiku.."

She could not fathom what his angle could possibly be.

'That's a weird decision to make. What is he trying to achieve? He could have asked for money, or to live here as a permanent resident, but he decided to work here instead? Perhaps he wants to use his role as a butler to investigate something while avoiding our suspicions, but the imbecile doesn't appear to be smart enough to do that. If he is a spy, he is an utterly incompetent one… pathetic. Even Rem is getting suspicious of him despite my warnings. I have to get her away from him before she takes matters into her own hands.'

"Nee-sama, we should go find him a uniform first. Let's choose one together."

"Rem, I doubt we will find one for him. He is short and has small shoulders- truly a pathetic man. I will take his measurements and will give you the uniform to tailor later. You should begin preparations for dinner, we can't get behind schedule because of his incompetence."

"Understood. Nee-sama truly thinks about everything!" Rem replied, a massive smile on her face.

'I have to keep an eye on him. I also can't let Rem close to him. Given his utter lack of tact or discretion, she is beginning to notice his even more suspicious behaviors.'

"Barusu. Come here. I will show you around the mansion."

"Ok, Nee-sama but how about my cool butler uniform? Wearing it will probably give me the stat boosts I need, since I got isekaied without any decent gear."

"Barusu. For your butler uniform, I don't think we have one of your size. Only women's clothes would fit you, you pathetic excuse of a man."

'What nonsense is this fool spewing? What does he mean by 'got isekaied'. I have never heard that word before. Is he a foreigner? Perhaps it refers to some sort of magic or curse. He talked about needing 'stat boosts', so maybe he is just telling me his gate is damaged in some bizarre slang? 'Boosts' implies something about power or strength, but I also don't know what he means by 'stats'… I am probably giving his words too much thought. They are closer to the ramblings of a delusional child. He is truly a confusing sight…'

She sighed. It was, still, too early to be dealing with this.

"Nee-sama why are you sighing? Why am I feeling like I dropped in your esteem? Please don't do that, I need to regain my social-links! And what's with turning my name into a blinding curse?!"

Ram, seeing him beginning to complain again, began walking towards the door with a deadpan expression. None of this was amusing. She had work to… not do.

Finishing listing his complaints, he noticed she had walked off while he was absorbed in his whining. Subaru ran towards through corridor to catch up to her.

"Nee-sama you are horrible! You let me talk alone!"

'Wait. Regain what now?'

The tour was not going well.

"So this is the primary guest room."

"So here are the baths."

"So here is the kitchen."

She sighed.

'He isn't even hiding the fact that he knows those locations already. Truly a pitiful liar… no, he isn't actually attempting to lie, so that would be an insult to liars everywhere. Rem would have probably killed him by now.'

"Are you okay Nee-sama? You seem tired."

She ignored him. Such a moron did not deserve a response from her. She continued showing him the places he already seemed to know.

"So here is the storage room."

"Don't ignore me, Nee-sama… You are too harsh on your junior!"

"And here on the wall is the list of all the ingredients left in the pantry. Here is your first test. Barusu. Look at it and tell me what we need to buy."

"Uhh… tomatoes?"

'What? Tomatoes? Can he not pronounce the names of common vegetables?'

The moron gave a moronic response- what a pathetic performance. She wasn't surprised in the slightest, but that didn't mean she couldn't be disappointed. She sighed.

"What even is that? Can you take this seriously? It's like…"

She paused. He couldn't be even more moronic than she already thought he was, could he?

"Barusu. Do you even know how to read?"

Ram spoke bluntly, unable to keep her surprised expression suppressed.

"Ummm… I don't know how to read this language very well yet, I only started learning a few days ago, but I know how to read Japanese. Don't make me look dumb!"

'What.'

"What nonsense is that? Stop lying. Barusu. You should feel ashamed of yourself. A servant of Roswaal-sama who doesn't know how to read… truly miserable. From now on you will have tutoring lessons with me. I will teach you how to read and write. Be grateful."

'That way I can keep monitoring him all day. I am sure I am close to finding out his secret. I also should keep this Japanese thing in mind. How has he lived here without knowing the language? Yet, he claims he just started learning…'

"Huh… thank you, I guess."

"See, you can answer without complaining. Good dog."

"What did you say? …Wait, Nee-sama, are you actually trying to tame m-"

Before Subaru could finish his disgusting sentence, Ram began walking out of the kitchen.

Ram had had a long day, and it still was not over.

"Let's begin with children's stories. These should be suitable for both your capabilities and your age. I will help you study every night."

"Why are you being this kind? It can't only be for Ros-chi's reputation."

"Don't ever disrespect Roswaal-sama like that."

Ram spoke with as much bile she could muster at that moment.

"Ok, ok… Sorry Nee-sama."

"And it's obvious. It's in my interests. If your work load increases, mine decreases, and if my work load decreases, Rem's work load decrease too. It's ideal."

"But I would be overworked then!"

"We will begin with i-glyphs."

"Nee-sama is ignoring me again! It's pretty difficult…"

"Then stop complaining and begin working. It's late. You also need to wake up early tomorrow, and I am sleepy."

"You are showing your true face, not that I dislike that senpai."

"Ram also thinks that Ram's honesty is one of her best qualities. Now begin, Barusu."

Subaru had also had a long day, but for entirely different reasons.

"After focusing so much I think I will get sick but… how to say it… What you told me made me happy. I thought you didn't like me."

"I will surely bother a little more, but I will do my best…"

Subaru turning his head was surprised to see Ram sleeping soundly.

"Seriously?!"

'I can't believe she is sleeping while I have been working! All of what I said went to waste! She really doesn't let me complain does she… Looking at her like that you would forget that only insults come from her mouth, but I guess I'm already used to that. Nee-sama is truly amazi...wait am I being tamed!? It's working, what magic did she cast on me noo…'

Ram's plan of faking falling asleep had gone off without a hitch.

'After his feeble involuntary monologue, what is he going to do? Now that I am sleeping, it's the perfect moment for him to enact his plans.'

She heard him sigh, shuffle out of his seat, and move towards the other end of the room.

'I knew it he is heading to his closet! Did he hide something? What is he doing? I can hear him searching for something… wait why is it dark all of a sudden?'

She felt fabric drape over her body.

'Did he… cover me? Why ? That was the perfect opportunity for him. Did he figure out that I am not sleeping? No. Impossible. He isn't that attentive.'

She heard Subaru sit down and place his back against the bed.

"You aren't listening right now and that's probably why I can say this but… sorry for all the trouble I caused you. I am super thankful for giving me a place to live, and an opportunity to do something with my life… You know, for most of my life I have been a good for nothing shut-in. I didn't do anything productive. Yet here I am, getting a job and learning new stuff all day… I don't know if it's your intention to teach me to be grateful for my life and to not complain all the time, or if it is just you being mean to me. Maybe both."

He chuckled softly.

"But anyway. Thank you for everything up until now. These few days have been awesome, and I am still just beginning to understand the chance I have here. I'm finally looking forward to the future."

That was not what she had expected to hear.

'Maybe… maybe he isn't as bad as I thought. He seems sincere. I don't sense him lying- is he just some lost boy? He seems to be making a legitimate effort to do a decent job. More importantly, what does he mean by few days? He just arrived last night. Should I also teach him how to speak...?'

Her thoughts were interrupted by light snoring from beside the bed.

'Oh, the fool fell asleep… no spy or cultist would do that in front of their target. I too, am feeling drowsy…'

Several days had elapsed in the manor. Several. Long. Days.

"Nee-sama are you sleeping again- what's with that? It's always the same thing. When do I get to sleep on my bed again? You don't seem to have any shame when it comes to that."

'He is still complaining… and I thought he learned his lesson. I should punish him more. He does seem to improve when I do that. Disgusting. There is still work to d-'

An awful, awful feeling flooded her thoughts. She bolted up from her fake slumber, and ran towards her sister's room, startling Subaru as she pushed past his chair and accidentally knocked him to the ground. He was very much not the priority.

"REM! Rem! Rem… What's happening to you- are you alright?!"

She called out down the hallway towards her sister's room as she ran. There was no response. The fool had evidently gotten up and followed her, because she heard him yell after her.

"Ram! What's happening?!"

Ram had neither the time nor inclination to explain herself to a moron who was incapable of understanding context clues. She rushed to Rem's room, covering the remaining distance even faster as she finally got into stride. She could hear Subaru's pathetic panting from behind her, trying to catch up. She continued calling her sister's name as she ripped open the door, damaging the hinges, to find a sleeping Rem. Though there was no sign of an intruder or a physical struggle-

"Her mana is almost completely drained. Rem! Rem, answer me!"

She tried in vain to wake her up.

"Ram, I am calling everyone."

Saying that, Subaru rushed out of the room, leaving Ram with her comatose sister.

"She seems to be cursed, I suppose."

"Cursed? What do you mean, cursed!? How did that happen to my sister!? How do we cure her!?"

She lost her composure, wailing and pleading with the impassive spirit and gently smiling lord of the manor.

"HOW DO WE CURE HER?! HELP HER BEATRICE-SAMA! ROSWAAL-SAMA, PLEASE HELP MY SISTER!"

"I am unable to cure her, in fact."

Impossible. She fell to her knees at the side of Rem's bed.

"...even Beatrice-sama…"

"Calm down, I suppose. I may not be able to lift the curse, but she isn't dead yet, in fact. I can still slow the effects."

"How much time does she have?"

Subaru spoke up from behind her, his voice serious- something she hadn't heard from him before.

"About a week, in fact. Though that is not all, I suppose. To slow it, I need a source of mana to infuse into her. My own reserve is-"

"I can do that!"

Emilia piped up, trying to help- too clueless to see that interrupting the Great Spirit was a terrible idea.

"But that's just for a week, it isn't a cure! There has got to be something- there must be something we can do to save my sister, right?!"

"Killing the shammmman, yesss?"

Roswaal spoke insultingly slowly, stressing his verbal tic as far as he could.

"As Roswaal said, the only solution is to kill the shaman who cast the curse, I suppose."

"Buuuutt the queeesttiiioonn is whhhoo isss the shamannn. Ittsss reeallly quuuiiite the coooooincidence that sheee is cuurrreessdd the same weeeeek we have a neeeew recruiiit… issss it nooot, Suuuuubaru-kuuuun?"

The clown addressed Subaru with one eye closed, the accusation clear.

"... Subaru? It can not be him. Subaru is a good boy. Right? Do you know something Subaru?

"... I…"

The boy was clearly not a Shaman. That would be an insult to Shaman's everywhere- making such a pointless accusation to sow discord and stress the fool out was one of the least productive things she could imagine Roswaal doing. Why would he waste time they didn't have?

"It's not him. I was with Barusu all week- he may be suspicious, but I don't think he is the direct cause of the curse."

Ram spoke seriously, shutting down that pointless line of inquiry.

"Roswaal-sama. Please help us- please help Rem. Help us find the shaman…"

Pleading pathetically was not something the Oni God wanted to do, but for her sister, she would do anything. She dried her tears on her sleeve. If they were to catch the culprit, she needed to pull herself together.

"Saddllyy I caan't doooo that, you seee. I have quuuite the immpoortant meeting tomorrow, it simply caaaan't be rescheduled. I woooould go as faaaaaar to say that I am faaaaaaated to attend. Hoooowever, you maaaaay doaaaa as you wiiiiish- I give yoooou permiiiiiission to seeeeearch for the shaaaaman."

The room quieted. Even Beatrice seemed disturbed at Roswaal's complete lack of interest in helping save one of his employees in his care.

'What. What is he saying? Is Rem's life really less important than the gospel's instructions? Aren't we both crucial to his plans anyway? If not out of compassion, at least…'

More time passed. The clown maintained his gentle smile as he aimed his one open eye towards her.

'Ha. I should have known that he only cares about his one goal. We are only disposable tools in his eyes… why did I think… fine. That makes things clearer.''

Ram stood up from the ground near Rem's bed. Her fists slightly, but very perceptibly, shaking.

"I will go find the shaman, and kill him. Emilia-sama. Beatrice-sama. Please take care of my sister."

She spoke with as much determination she could muster while she glared down Roswaal.

Both Beatrice and Emilia nodded- the atmosphere of the room tense and cold.

"Wait! Ram…"

"What. What do you want Barusu? I don't have time for-"

"Let me come with you. I promise I can help."

'...Pathetic.'

thank you for reading the chapter

"some guy" (its his name) helped me correct the grammar mistakes thank you for the help

anyway I waiting for your reviews (I read all of them it helps me improve ) thanks