Prim

I alternate my time between caring for my mother and looking after the others. Peeta was really bad at first, until Haymitch came up with the plan to try and negotiate for Katniss's release. Now he was practically manic at times with energy and determination.

I worried about him. He loved her so much. You could see it was just eating away at him, not just daily, but minute by minute, to have her so far away. I had never been in love the way he and my sister were. But I knew what it felt like to have a piece of your heart ripped out and stolen away. Katniss going into the Games had been horrible for me, and my mother, and...Gale too.

That had been another horrible task. They had waited until the very last minute to tell him. But it had ended badly anyway. He had broken the man Boggs's nose. Just ripped out his IV and vaulted over the hospital bed and punched him right in the face when he stood in the way. Then Gale bowled him and the other security guards over. He wasn't like Peeta, who had tried to avoid hurting people. Gale threw punches and kicked and clawed to try and get out of the medical level doors. And his mother had tried to plead with him. But he ignored her. Haymitch had tried to talk to him. But he'd just cursed him out.

Finally, it was Peeta, who hobbled down the hall and sat down in a slump next to Gale as he was finally pinned under three large soldiers who had been called to stop the ruckus. They had exchanged a few quiet words. That I didn't hear at first, but then...

"We're gonna need your help, convincing them to let us put together a rescue mission. We need their technology, their weapons, their manpower. I need your help again." Peeta told Gale in a determined voice, with fire in his eyes. And Gale had stared at him, for a long minute. Then Peeta had asked them to let Gale up. The injured soldiers had left to get treated, and Gale had stood up and extended his hand down to Peeta to help him up. His leg was still really bad.

"Do you know if she's even still alive?" Gale had asked, his voice low and a little unsteady. As they both sat down in the lobby chairs side by side, staring ahead with stark expressions.

Peeta nodded.

"Coin got word yesterday. She's alive, along with six other victors. Snow's got them holed up somewhere in the Capitol, city center area most likely. We made a deal with Coin. If we work with them to help spread the word about the rebellion, she'll help us put together a rescue op."

"She promised this? What on paper?" Gale asked.

"Better. She's going to make a formal announcement. To all of 13. Tomorrow." Peeta tells him, as he accepts a cup of water from a concerned looking nurse.

"Shit." Gale says, and Peeta just nods. He takes a sip of his water.

"If I hadn't gotten stung-"

"You almost died. The doctors said your heart nearly stopped because of all the venom injected directly into your jugular so quickly."

"Deen got stung almost as much as me, and he still-"

"He had been exposed before. Built up something of a tolerance. But he ended up almost as bad."

"You mean he's alive?"

"Barely. Got shot twice. He's still recovering. Brain swelling, broken ribs. It's a mess." Peeta tells him in a weary voice and Gale winces.

"I shouldn't have asked him to go after her." Gale says quietly. His usually stoic face seems unusually tired and….a little guilty.

"He would have gone anyway. They're both stubborn as mules. You saw her before you all left. Nothing I said could have convinced her." Peeta says in exasperation as he runs his hands through his messy and over long blond hair.

Gale grunts. Shakes his head. Leans back for a moment.

"She almost stayed, for you. I saw it on her face. She was close." Gale says quietly, so quietly, I almost don't hear it. Peeta turns to look at him sharply. Then he looks up and away. His eyes water a little as he looks up towards the ceiling. He shakes his head and clears his throat, as if he's trying to regain his composure. Gale looks a little uncomfortable, and turns to stare at an end table.

"I think about that moment, that argument, over and over. Wondering what I could have done, or said." Peeta says after a moment, his voice steady and sad.

"In the end I don't think there was much that could have been done. She almost stayed, but then again, she never could have stayed. Being who she is, being what she is. She wouldn't have been able to live with herself. And who knows how many people she saved, by getting help?" Gale says, looking towards his brother Rory's hospital room. Rory had lived too, after getting surgery to repair the damage done to his back by the horrible mountain lion creatures that had chased everyone. The doctors didn't know if he would be able to walk without pain for the rest of his life, but he was alive.

"That I do know. She saved all of us. Jackson, one of the soldiers who rescued me, told me afterwards that they got us, Deen, and you out just in time. After the peacekeepers captured her, they called in for backup and they swarmed the 20 mile stretch we were in, for days. They would have caught all of us."

"Well," Gale says.

"Yeah." Peeta replies.

"I still wish it would have been me. Or even Deen." Peeta adds a terrible desperate look on his face.

"Or me?" Gale asks in a way that means he won't be offended by the response.

"I thought that was implied." Peeta says dryly and Gale smiles for half a second.

And then his eyes grow dark and hard.

"They've got to pay. Someone has to make them pay for all they've done." Gale's voice is soft, but the look in his eyes is anything but. And it makes me shiver.

Peeta huffs out a breath, and hangs his head for a minute.

"I can't afford to think like that right now. I've got to focus on getting her back. The anger...if I give into it...they had me on pills and sedated for days at first. I won't be able to help her, if I don't control it." Peeta says in a ragged breath.

And Gale peers over at him, in at first a surprised, then an assessing manner.

"I think between the two of us, both can get done." He tells Peeta and Peeta grimaces.

"Katniss first. After that, I'll help the rebels as much as I can. But we've got to get her back." Peeta insists.

"Yeah, alright." Gale agrees, nodding his head.

Peeta nods, and looks over at Haymitch who, like me, has been trying to discreetly eavesdrop on their conversation. Haymitch hands Peeta his crutches and Peeta stands up.

"They'll probably dismiss you tomorrow or so. I told Coin you might be good for the propos we'll be filming."

"Prop what?"

"Propaganda footage. Its, like, short tv segments, aimed at stirring up dissent and anger against the Capitol. It's part of the deal we made, to spread the word."

"I thought you meant we'd be going on real missions, talking to real people, not pretending in front of a camera."

"It could really help stir up sentiment for Katniss, sympathy. That could help keep her alive."

"This is supposed to be a fucking revolution. What do these people think? That we'll sway public opinion with some fake crap for a tv show?" Gale says, standing up now, his voice angry. I think this is what Katniss always referred to as his 'furious at the Capitol ranting voice'.

Peeta looks genuinely distressed at Gale's outburst but Haymitch rolls his eyes.

"They did it once, with the Games, and the berries. Sure, it was all for show genius, but people ate it up. And if that almost sparked a full blown rebellion back then they can do it again." Haymitch says with a barely contained sneer.

Gale bristles.

"We all need to work together here." Peeta cautions, and I feel bad for him, always having to be the peacemaker no matter what situation he's in. The situation tenses for a second as the three men look at each other.

A nurse startles me by tapping on my elbow.

"Would you mind helping me? I'm looking for Haymitch Abernathy and Peeta Mellark. The doctors are going to try and let Deen Sparrow wake up in a minute."

"Oh! Yes, please, they're right over here!" I say as I lead her gently with me. I break up the staring contest, and Peeta looks almost eternally grateful to me.

When I tell them that Deen's waking up, both Haymitch and Peeta hurry in the direction of his room.

Peeta

The doctors tell Haymitch and I not to expect an immediate response. They say Deen's been sedated so long he may not wake up until tomorrow. But after only about 45 minutes, his limbs start jerking in what I immediately recognize as a nightmare. I guess the heavy drugs had been blunting the majority of his dreams.

I pull my chair as close as I can to his bed, and grip his shoulder hard, so that the sensation will give him something to anchor himself to as he wakes.

"Kid, kid come on. It's a nightmare, kid." Haymitch says, trying to wake him as well.

Deen looks younger, and really pale and weak under the fluorescent lights. So changed from the young healthy 16 year old who started out with us back in 12. He's lost at least 10 lbs, and looks like he's been put through the ringer with all the bandages and broken bones and tubes coming out of him.

But when he opens his dark, so dark they're almost black, charcoal colored eyes, I can see he's in fight mode.

I call for a nurse, and I lean over and try to pin his arms.

"Deen, come on man, it's me Peeta. Look at Haymitch. You're fine, you're safe. You're in 13, man." I tell him as gently but also as surely as I can and his eyes focus, and seem to recognize me as the nurse comes in.

He relaxes, and the nurse asks if he'll need to be sedated. I shake my head and she nods, and leaves.

"What happened?" Deen croaks, and I move to go and get him some water.

"You got shot, that's what happened, kid. Twice." Haymitch answers in a very unamused tone and Deen looks down at his chest, takes in all his injuries with a wide eyed look.

"Well….damn." Deen says and I shake my head as I hand him the cup of water.

"How...how long was I out?" He asks after he drinks the whole cup.

"Six days." Haymitch replies and Deen's eyes widen in shock.

"Wait, wait what? No. That can't be right."

"You had swelling in your brain, kid. Doctors had to put you in a coma until it went down. Count yourself lucky you can still talk and walk." Haymitch tells him with a grim expression on his face. I know these past few days have been hard, terrible on him probably. With all three of his victors either captured, in a coma, or mentally unstable.

"No, I mean, I don't care about me, or that. Peeta," He looks over at me eyes wide and fearful, and I wince a little. I haven't been looking forward to this.

"Peeta, man, I'm sorry….she...they….they took her man. I didn't make it in time. They had her surrounded, and she-"

"It's ok Deen I know. It wasn't your fault. They murdered half a squad of soldiers to get to her. They would have killed you too." I tell him gently. Having already decided, almost from the moment they brought him in, bleeding and almost dead, that it really hadn't been his fault.

"NO! You don't get it! She-she-fuck-man-no, she sacrificed herself to save me. She had a gun, I don't know if she got it off a dead soldier or what, but she could have ended it, then and there before they got her. But she….said she'd trade places with me. They captured me….but they said they wanted her more….." He says, in a gasping voice, and then there are tears in his eyes, and he's lying back in bed and covering his face, rubbing his clenched fists furiously into his eyes over and over.

And I sink down into a chair, feeling torn after learning this information.

She could have…

I close my eyes.

Haymitch is saying something, but I'm not listening.

Of course, he was right. He was her oldest friend, her best friend. When he said she could never have stood by while people died around her, he had known it without a doubt.

It wasn't that surprising really, considering what had happened with Prim at the reaping, and with me in the arena and the berries. And now, again with Deen. She seemed to take a perverse sense of pleasure in throwing her life away for other people….

And I had thought I couldn't possibly admire her any more.

But of course, she had found a way to surprise me again.

Dear God, I had to get her back.

The thought swims in my murky mind for a few moments before I reach out and put a hand on Deen's arm.

"You couldn't have stopped her. It's just who she is, Deen. And you tried to go after her, they told me you did. Took two bullets, you little idiot." I tell him as I grip his arm hard, but he doesn't wince. He looks over at me, eyes red from trying not to cry, and face scrunched up in guitly pain.

"Look, I need you to focus on getting better, man. We've got to get her back. Haymitch and I are going to need your help." I tell him seriously, and he sits up quickly and looks back and forth between Haymitch and I.

"You mean, she's still alive?" He asks incredulously.

"Yeah, we just got word yesterday. She's still being held in the Capitol, along with some other victors who were part of the underground resistance." I replied.

"Oh, no shit. Peeta, man, if she's alive…" He says, and I think maybe he's happy at the news for a second.

"What?" I ask him, confused by the look on his face, that is not an expression of relief as I expected, but instead his features have twisted into something fearful and dark.

"Peeta, if she's alive...well, that's bad man. Really bad." He tells me, and I feel myself sit back in the chair, my body reacting in confusion and disbelief.

I look over at Haymitch, and he avoids my gaze. His eyes are a blazing accusation against Deen, but I don't care.

"You...knew." I say, with quietly constrained betrayal in my voice.

"We have no way of knowing what they want with her." Haymitch says but his voice is unsteady, he won't look me in the eye.

"Three years, surviving the Games, mentoring together, planning an escape, a fake wedding, faking our own deaths, fighting and almost dying together in the wilderness and you still don't TRUST ME ONE GODDAMN BIT!" I shout the last part, the emotions escalating inside me too quickly now.

"Kid, you completely lost it! I couldn't take the chance-"

"Oh, so what you were going to just keep it under wraps that they're probably-"

"Keep you're fucking voice down! You want her sister, her mother to hear you? You want that idiot miner to get wind? Peeta, there's nothing we can do about it from here. We have to concentrate on a plan. To get her out as quickly as possible. Whatever happens, we can deal with it after we get her back. As long as she's still breathing-"

"I can't believe you! How could you do this to me?" I shout, not caring about the volume.

"Keep your shit together! Ok! Just think for a minute. Will it matter to you, when she gets back? Will you want her any less? Love her less?" He asks in a furious low voice and I make a sound in my throat. It's like an animal that's been mortally wounded.

"God! Of course not! Why? How could you even ask-"I choke out the words, because I was not for one second, thinking about myself.

"Ok, then just get past the idea for now. Just, put it aside. Ok, because she's going to need you, now more than ever to hold on. We are the only ones in a position to push for her rescue. And our position is tenuous right now at best. We need to become very valuable to these people, very fucking fast. And we need to make her indispensable to them, to the point where they won't have a choice. They'll have to try and rescue her." He tells me quietly, looking back at the door to make sure no one has overheard anything he said.

"Haymitch, we needed to have gotten her out yesterday, days ago,...she...they can't-she can't-No…." I say, babbling as I start to wobble, my weight shifting before I reach out a hand to brace myself against the bed.

The room is starting to swim just a bit, before my eyes. Haymitch is cursing under his breath, and starts arguing with Deen, and Deen is defending himself saying Haymitch was wrong to try and keep it from me.

And the noise of their argument is growing just a little too loud in my ears, along with the rushing of blood that's roaring in my brain as I try to get a hold of myself.

But then, the broadcast projector flickers to life against the wall and we see the words

Mandatory Viewing

Flash across the screen for a few seconds before the image of Caesar Flickerman fills up the screen. He's green this year, a deep emerald colored wig sitting atop his head as he smiles with blindingly white teeth against garish green lipstick.

I feel so nauseated by the image of this man, this Capitol puppet, who has been and still is complicit in the muder, manipulation, and exploitation of children, tributes, and then afterwards, victors. But I think at this moment I would be repulsed by even a helpless Capital child, my mind is so frayed at the edges, taking in any connection to Snow and the elite as a life threatening issue.

But then the camera pulls back, to show someone sitting across from him, in an overly large sitting chair.

And my heart stops and starts several times. I hear Deen choke out a gasp. Haymitch drops the cup of water he had been refilling for Deen. Because we all can't believe who we're seeing.

It's Katniss.

The first thing I notice is she's practically scowling. Her perfect soft mouth is turned down in a beautiful, endearing way that's so familiar, it squeezes my heart painfully. And then, busted leg or no, I'm rushing over to the projector screen, running my hands along the sides of her image. My hands grip the sides of the clear thin glass and I choke out a sob.

She looks beautiful.

Capitol perfection, with glossy dark hair styled in a soft straight style with just a little bit of body to it. Her skin is glowing, warm and golden and spotless in that full body polish way that it had after our first Games. Her dark lashes blink slowly, as she looks down, as Caesar introduces the girl who needs no introduction.

She's dressed in a semi formal looking cream colored silk top with short puffy sleeves and a collar. She's wearing a black skirt that comes to her knees as she sits across from her interviewer. She appears much better than the last time I saw her, that starving exhausted look gone from her face, and her body. It had only been a few days but it looked like she was almost at a normal weight again. Her cheekbones no longer sharp and her wrists, calves, and what I could see of her waist while she was sitting down were filled out back to familiar levels instead of approaching skeletal thinness like they had been towards the end of our escape. They had only had her for a couple of days, but they had fixed her up relatively quickly.

My eyes drop to her stomach, and there is no noticeable difference in the shape there. No indication that she could be carrying my child. But it might be too early….Haymitch had admitted after our meeting with Coin that the baby bomb had been a ruse to stir up sympathy. I don't know how he'd gotten the information but somehow he'd figured out a little of Coin's backstory. She had lost a husband and a child in an epidemic a few years back. It had also decimated 13's population, and left large portions of the survivors infertile. So children were precious commodities around here.

But then again, Haymitch had asked if Katniss and I had been together intimately during the trip. And when I nodded he'd let out an amused whistle. And made some kind of snide comment about how neither mutts, nor blizzards, nor fake cousins could stop me and her from as he said, 'banging one out'. And I'd contemplated throwing a vase of flowers Prim had brought me for my room at his head. And then he'd gotten serious and asked if we'd used protection. I'd sighed and told him about the medicine Katniss's mother made for her. He'd tilted his head back and forth, thinking for a minute. Then he'd proclaimed that only Katniss and the Capitol knew now, if she was pregnant. I'd covered my face with my hands and tried to block the rest of the conversation out.

But looking at her now, I can see that she doesn't seem any different really. So maybe she's not. Or maybe they haven't told her yet...

Caesar is back on screen and saying that this interview is being sanctioned by the Capitol to get to the bottom of what happened the night of our wedding.

She sits back a little, and the camera pans quickly, but not before I catch a glimpse of something in her eyes. They looked dark, very dark, not silvery and rich grey like I was used to seeing. Like her pupils were dilated way too much.

"What's wrong with your eyes?" I say aloud, trying to squint closer at the image. But she's too far away. I can't make out her eyes clearly enough.

"Morphling." Deen's voice says from over by the bed.

"What?" I ask loud and incensed.

"They're probably giving it to her to control her reactions. Look boy, maybe this isn't such a good idea. Maybe you should go, and wait-" Haymitch's hand tried to grip my shoulder, but I shrug him off roughly.

"No!" I reply, with enough force and vehemence that Haymitch backs away.

I turn back to the screen, not wanting to miss another single moment.

"Katniss Everdeen, you were in fact scheduled to be on your honeymoon right now. And yet, the whole country received word of your death, only hours after we witnessed you marry your fellow victor, Peeta Mellark." Caesar says, starting off the interview with an accusation, as if it wasn't already apparent she wasn't on her honeymoon, or dead.

I can almost feel the frustration through the screen at his obvious questions. And I wish I could be there, to take her hand, and take over whenever people asked stupid questions she couldn't stand to answer.

"There never was any honeymoon, or a real wedding. I think you know that by now Ceasar." She says stoically, her face once again a mask.

"Yes, imagine our shock to discover that someone had switched out the marriage license with a forgery. I mean, what was the point of that?"

"The point? How about being able to make my own decisions about who I marry? How about deciding when, and who, and how?" She says contemptibly, and crosses her arms.

Oh, no. I think. She is starting off all wrong.

"Ms. Everdeen, I'm sorry, but I was there at your engagement. You accepted Peeta's hand with tears of joy in your eyes. Are you telling me now that all of that was a lie? You never wanted to marry him?"

"I never wanted to get married, period. It didn't have anything to do with Peeta."

"Can you explain this a bit to all of us here? I mean, people across the country thought yours was a fairy tale romance. A perfect life. Two amazing victors, falling in love in the arena, fighting to keep each other alive, winning against all odds, and then going on to lead lives of luxury and ease as celebrated heroes in District 12. What was so bad about your life Ms. Everdeen that you had to set fire to Capitol property, and fake your own death as well as that of your friends and family?"

She stares him down. And I want to scream at her to stop giving them reasons to hurt her.

"Caesar, I don't know what to tell you. There are too many things wrong with that statement to even begin to unravel it all."

"Well, why not start at the beginning then? Everyone here in the studio, and across the country tonight is dying to understand your motivations. What in the world went wrong that you turned against the hands that lifted you out of the arena, gave you a second chance at life, and showered you with riches, fame, and even supported your love affair with a fellow victor. One that I might add was against the rules. Katniss Everdeen we even changed the rules of the Hunger Games for you, we made a one time exception, your love for Peeta and his for you moved us so deeply. How could that have made you so angry and ungrateful?"

"Love? Is that what this charade is about? I don't know what the people in the Capitol believed, Caesar, but I wasn't in love with anyone during my games. How could anyone fall in love in a place filled with such death and fear and misery? With almost a complete stranger no less? It's ridiculous." She says, and her words seem hard edged, the glint in her eye is more steel than sparkle, and I feel a vaguely ominous feeling on her behalf.

Can't she see that Caesar is trying to trap her? Why is she saying these things?

Caesar looks convincingly shocked. Katniss rolls her eyes almost imperceptible but the cameras catch it. And she is definitely under the influence of something, her eyes, though they only showed them briefly, are terribly unnatural looking. Then the interview starts to feel like a badly written script, where Katniss is playing the villain and Caesar is uncovering her master plot.

""You mean you lied? You never loved Peeta?" He says, with a perfectly timed gasp.

"I never said that." She says, squirming in her chair a little, and I sigh, just a bit.

"Well, then what are you saying? You're not giving us any real answers here Katniss."

"What does it matter? What does any of this matter? I'll be dead soon." She says blandly and Caesar tilts his head almost sympathetically.

"That is unfortunately the punishment for betraying your country."

She grinds her teeth, and stares holes in the floor. Caesar looks positively aghast at her behavior. And I have a feeling the rest of Panem isn't happy with the tacturn, almost hopeless defence she's putting up for herself.

"Just ask your questions, so we can get this over with." She says at last and seems to deflate.

"I don't know if we'll get any answers from you at this time. Maybe we should continue this after you've had a chance to rest, and gather yourself a bit. Let's take a five minute break."

She sighs, and fidgets in her chair. And then the screen transitions to balck for a second. And I cry out, angry that they just cut off the broadcast, but then it's back.

And Caesar is back on the ornate interview couch, looking a little pale, and slightly disheveled.

"We're back with accused traitor Katniss Everdeen, who I hope is feeling a little more cooperative now."

And right before the camera pans to her, I fight the urge try and reach into the screen and somehow, through sheer determination, pull her out of there.

"Do you think you're ready to answer some questions now Katniss?" Caesar's voice asks off screen, and Kaniss sits in the same armchair and looks ahead blankly and nods.

I don't know what they did to her. But there is a hollowness in her eyes. It's that haunted look, that I recognize so well that sends me into a panic.

"No, no, what did they do to you?" I whisper as I try to caress her cheek. The glass is cold and lifeless though, under my fingers.

"Can you please, as they say, start from the beginning?" Caesar asks.

"Yes." She answers and takes a deep breath.

"It was all a lie. The romance. Me and Peeta. It was an act we cooked up, to survive the Games. We had no idea it would be so effective. No idea that it would take over our entire lives. It consumed us. Until we had no choice, no other options but to live out the fantasy we created in the arena. We became tied to each other. At 16 years old. Our whole lives, our whole futures were planned, around a lie."

"Now, Katniss, that isn't entirely true is it?"

"It is."

"Katniss, really, I mean yes I can see where you obviously were pretending so you could keep up your image, your status as a victor and celebrity. But Peeta, dear sweet Peeta, he could never lie about loving you that much."

"Peeta is an excellent liar when he needs to be."

"But did he really need to lie, when he said he loved you?" He asks and she looks down. Something like guilt surfacing on her face as she bites her lip. I feel so helpless, so damn useless, here, hundreds of miles away from her. Unable to speak up in her defence. It was my and Hyamitch's plan after all, she could have at least said that.

"Katniss? Can you please answer the question?" Caesar prompts and she looks back up at him. Resolved.

"Yes. I can. Peeta...wasn't pretending. About being in love with me." She says finally, exhaling a deep breath that she had seemed to have been holding in.

"Ever?" Caesar asks, and I bite out a frustrated growl. He's being so unfair to her.

"I don't know...exactly, but I do know after the Games he told me his feelings were real." She says after a beat, and I know she's thinking about the train ride home from our Games.

"And what did you say?" He prods her.

"That...I was confused." She answers, which of course was the absolute truth. And should not have been held against her. We had been kids, confused kids, the both of us. Who could answer questions about life and love at that age?

"Well, that must have broken his heart." Caesar says, milking the moment for all its worth. And I find that tonight I don't just dislike him, I actually hate him a little.

They get no response from her.

"Any particular reason why you were confused?" He says after he realizes she's unwilling to comment about the state of my heart all those years ago. And I hope she remembers me telling her that it was ok, and so long ago, and I didn't blame her...but I can see she is not thinking of that tender moment between us.

She is alarmed and...

She visibly struggles...her whole body goes tense and she shivers from head to toe, for half a second, but then, almost as if she doesn't want to, her mouth opens.

"Because I had feelings for someone else." The words escape from her gritted teeth, almost like someone pulled them out by force. And I have to wonder just what the hell they had given her, what she was on, that would make her confess such a thing on national television.

"What? What is this now? Someone else? Who? What was his name?" " Caesar pounces on the opportunity to turn up the drama up to incalculable levels.

I see her close her mouth, blite down on her bottom lip, angrily. But then her lips started trembling. After a moment, she loses whatever war she's trying to wage within herself.

"Gale Hawthorne." His name brings a flush to her face, and she looks away from the camera, seemingly mortified. I blink at the screen. This is old news, very old. It's irrelevant right now. I tell myself. I am focused on Katniss and what they are doing to her before my very eyes.

"That's the name of your cousin isn't it? Wasn't he Peeta's best man at the wedding?" Caesar asks, with a slightly disgusted twist of his expression. As if she were the grotesque one. When he sat there knowing she was being drugged, probably tortured, and forced to say all of these things.

"We're not really cousins." She replies curtly.

"Are you sure?" He asks with a lift of his eyebrows, and I wish I could punch him. Just once.

"Yes. I'm sure. That was just another lie. To protect the illusion of Peeta and I's romance." She replies, her voice growing weary.

"Well, it seems the lies are quickly beginning to add up. A fake love affair, a fake cousin, what's next?" He asks and laughs a little. His green wig jiggles slightly atop his head.

"Nothing, that's pretty much the truth of it. Can I go back to my cell now?" She says quietly.

"Oh, Katniss, I think you're forgetting one of the conditions of your punishment." He tells her seriously and she grimaces.

"I did the interview. I told you all those horribly private and embarrassing things. What more 'entertainment' can I provide?" She asks incredulously, angrily. And I want to beg her to please tone it down. But she can't hear me.

"Actually a little birdy told us that you've been lying about something else."

She stares ahead with such exhaustion that it breaks me.

"We've been let in on a little secret. You are actually not skilled at fashion design at all."

She visibly relaxes. It seems like a harmless white lie. But if I know the Capitol, and Snow, and the way he likes to play games, I know that all is not what it seems.

"Nope, can't draw or sew or stitch to save my life." She says confidently, with a shrug.

"But there is another talent you have, a very interesting one, that I'm sure everyone at home would love to experience before your brief time with us is over." Caesar says with a particularly alarming gleam in his eye.

"What?" She asks, real fear and anxiety replacing her non-chalantness from before.

"Let's play the clip." He says with a laugh.

A recording of Katniss's voice comes on. It's the song she sang in my shower the last night before the wedding. And I feel like a million knives are cutting me open from the inside.

This I know is absolute torture for her. More than a physical blow, this is the destruction, the cheapening of something sacred.

Her lips grow bloodless and she looks very pale. And as I listen to her beautiful voice sing out in rich clear notes, I know that this is a deliberate assault on her.

She would never share this very private, very personal moment with the entire country. She'd die before doing it. Only...well she was trapped. Her eyes darted back and forth, seeking an out, seeking escape, but it was hopeless.

The last words of the song ring out and I hear the shower turn off. The audio pauses. And I wonder….just how cruel these people are willing to be. I know for a fact that Snow said he had audio tapes of Katniss and I's last night together. But was he really willing to broadcast them on national television to humiliate her?

I felt my breath quicken for this girl, who now seemed small and helpless there in that room, being swallowed up by the enormous arm chair, the bright lights and the relentless questions.

"That was very nice actually. I think you should have taken up singing as your talent right away after the Games." Caesar says in a genuine compliment. But Katniss just stares at him, dumbstruck and uncomprehending for a minute.

"I don't usually sing." She finally says.

"Oh no? Well I can't imagine why not. You have a very fine voice. You could have made quite a name for yourself as a musical talent in the Capitol." He says and smiles at her, not really taking any digs at her or accusing her of anything for the moment.

She frowns. But says nothing.

"Well, do you think you would be willing to cooperate enough to sing for us tonight? I'm sure the audience at home would love it! And it would be a small way to make up for some of the enormous lies you've told. It would be nice to get something true and honest from you for a change." He says, seeming to have returned to the oppositional dialogue.

"No." Her reply is immediate and inflexible. Her nostrils are flaring in anger, and I see Caesar smile a little nervously.

"Well, that's alright then. I guess we'll just have to try next time."

"What?" Katniss asks, bewildered, as a guard comes up to grab her arms and pull her out of the arm chair.

Then I see, from the corner of the screen, a red headed girl being pushed into view of the camera, in the back corner as they are dragging Katniss away. She catches sight of the girl, and begins to fight, she starts backtracking, promising she'll perform. But they keep leading her away.

"That's all the time we have for now folks. Stay tuned tomorrow for more coverage on the Trials of the Victors. It's sure to be spectacular!"

Katniss is screaming somewhere in the background, cursing and yelling that she'll sing whatever they want her to, just let the girl go, as she strains against her guard and back toward the red headed girl who is made to kneel on the floor. A peacekeeper takes out his gun, and points to the back of her head, and the screen fades to black before we can catch the sound of the telltale shot ring out.

I finally lose my balance and collapse to the floor.

And I stayed there for a very long time.