Finnick
Chaff tried to catch my gaze before Johanna and I were ushered off to the prep area. But the guards were too fast, and when I turned my head to look back at him one of the guards cuffed me on my right ear. I hardly felt it, since practically every part of my body was achy and painful these days. We were led to a small curtained off area where some preps were gathered to help us dress. I turned away to give Johanna some privacy as they stripped off her prisoner garb and outfitted her in some skin tight athletic clothes. Then they did the same to me.
They taped up the knuckles on my right hand. They had barely scabbed over properly from the battle last night. I shivered remembering the monkey mutts that had hunted me through a grove of trees. I'd scraped up my knuckles pretty badly when I'd had to punch one square in the mouth before it could open up its jaws with its 4 inch fangs and sink them into my forearm. My trident had been occupied staving off an attack from the opposite side at the time. The battle had been brutal, and I'd acquired more than just bloody knuckles among my injuries. I had a row of invisible stitches the doctors had inserted on the back of my shoulder where a mutt had actually gotten its teeth in me towards the end.
I tested the muscle and found it sore. But then pretty much every part of me was sore. Despite having to keep in excellent shape all year round to comply with the needs of the Capitol patrons, being thrown into an arena almost every night was exhausting. It was taking its toll on my body and I was slowing down. The injuries I was racking up were proof of that.
As soon as they finished dabbing some concealer under my tired eyes I started scanning around for the one person I hoped could put a stop to this.
My eyes catch on him as he proceeds to direct Katniss back to a seat being watched over by 4 peacekeepers. She hadn't been drugged yet, so the contempt and utter disgust she had for everyone around her is apparent on her striking face. It made me smirk how she could still make 4 large, armed guards uncomfortable with just a curl of her lip and an aggressive flip of her long dark hair.
No one could call Katniss Everdeen a soft beauty. Delicate she was definitely not. And it showed in the wary looks her guards gave her, along with the subtle way the two doppelgangers maintained a careful attention to her movements. She was alluring but still deadly. Which was more than enough to put any man on his guard no matter how seductive her smokey eye shadow looked against her silver storm cloud eyes.
It wasn't that she couldn't be called beautiful, she definitely was more than just attractive. She had a certain rare quality to her, that was hard to describe, and it didn't just come from her exotic looks. Although she was certainly very different from the usual types of victors who got chosen to enter Snow's collection of forced sex workers. She was shorter than most people would expect. When I'd met her in person I almost couldn't believe a little slip of a thing like her had almost brought the entire corrupt system to a careening halt with those handful of berries. But all it took was a little spark plug like her to get the ball rolling in earnest for many resistors here in the Capitol.
And even though she seemed like a consummate tomboy, constantly wobbling in her heels and tugging on her pink little girl dresses on her Victory tour, there were those Capitolites who still salivated over her. Though, I'd heard complaints after her Games, when she'd refused to get plastic surgery to alter her smallish breasts.
Of course she'd been only 16 years old then, and had for the majority of her life lived close to the edge of starvation, and so had not had much chance to develop a woman's body. But that hadn't mattered in the least to any of them. All they had seen was a stubborn Seam girl with a mostly flat chest who wasn't smart enough to take the enhancements that would have made her more acceptable, more desirable, for their sexual perversions. I thought she had been incredibly smart, to not only refuse their enhancements but to also plaster herself to her fake boyfriend. He gave her a kind of alibi. Afterall, how could Snow sell only one of the star-crossed lovers? Or sell them separately? Most of the Capitol Elite were infantile in their understandings of the sex trade. Most of them still believed the victors chose this line of work, as a way to get rich quick after their Games, since sex was so open and accepted in the Capitol. Even among the Elite, Peeta and Katniss' love story had to be believed, at least outwardly. To doubt it, to sell them separately would invite questions that were best left alone. At least until things had settled down.
Too bad for Katniss that the last two years had been good to her. A steady diet had given her the curves she'd been lacking at 16 years old. She was certainly no Cashmere, but then hardly anyone could compete with the buxom blond victor who still commanded the highest rates for any living female victor despite heading into her late 20s now. But Katniss looked dangerously sensual in that blue dress tonight. Far more mature and enticing. None of which was good for her.
When Mags and I had seen her in said dress on tv a few months ago we'd both looked at each other in dismay. She filled it too well. She was too grown up now. We thought surely Snow would be putting her on the market soon, maybe even as soon as this coming years's Games. So when we'd gotten wind through the rebel network that Haymitch wanted to get his team the hell out of 12, well, we'd all worked hard to make it happen. The last thing we needed was a rebel leader who's been traumatized by the dark underground trade that permeated the Capitol and preyed on young victors.
I worried for her now. It was very likely that none of us would make it out of this alive, but she would not just meet a gruesome demise. Snow would make sure to destroy the very idea of the Mockingjay, and the revolution by extension. He was planning something for her worse than death.
I needed to stop it before it got to that. I'd find a way.
I looked over at the large portly man walking away from a scowling Katniss. I locked eyes with him for a second.
But Plutarch Heavensbee just flicked his gaze away from me, not even acknowledging my look. I ground the back of my heel into the cold marble floor in aggravation. Chubby bastard couldn't even be bothered to give me a passing glance. But why would he?
He wasn't eating moldy bread in the Capitol cells every day. Nobody was dragging him out of his bed at night for surprise electroshock sessions. He was nice and cozy and safe in his fucking penthouse. And Joanna and Chaff and Seeder and I were tortured everyday to try and pry his name from our lips. So far none of us had broken, and named him or anyone else from the list of other operatives here in the Capitol.
But the torture was getting worse. And soon, someone would break. It was inevitable. I tried to push the excruciatingly depressing thought from my mind. We still had friends out there. Real friends, not convenient ones like that bastard Heavensbee. And certainly Peeta and Haymitch would do their best to help Katniss.
They genuinely cared for her. Haymitch alone would move heaven and earth to save any of his surviving tributes.
For the first couple of years I had been convinced Katniss had formed an alliance of convenience with them, as they were victors from her own district. But this past year, when she and Peeta had worked so tirelessly to bring their tribute, Deen Sparrow home, I realized something had changed in their relationship. It had only been confirmed by Deen himself this year at a party when I asked him where Katniss and Peeta were.
"Probably off somewhere trying really hard not to fall in love." Deen had answered with a sardonic smirk.
"I thought that was Peeta's problem. Not hers." I'd said in surprise. Everyone could tell Peeta was definitely taken with his co-victor. Katniss had barely fooled the country into believing she actually liked him enough.
"That's just what she wants everyone to think. But underneath it all, she's got a soft spot for him." Deen replied with an amused chuckle. I looked over at him, trying to gauge whether or not he was kidding. He was probably the closest to them, training and seeing them everyday outside of public events and when they weren't on camera.
"Really?" I had asked, genuinely puzzled by the idea that Katniss Everdeen could have a soft spot. She was stoic and subdued on the best of occasions, angry and unfriendly more often than not.
"Yeah, only, being forced to act in love can really fuck up the dynamics of any relationship." Deen replied somewhat sadly. And that's when I realized Deen really cared about his mentors, maybe as much as they cared about him. They had busted their asses to bring him home after all, despite the amount of arrogant sarcasm the kid exuded from every pore.
I had just laughed then. Wondering at the improbability of it. A fake romance becoming real. Three messed up victors from an outlying district managing to rally together and show up the Capitol, again, just by staying alive. Someone could turn it into a Capitol novella drama and it would sell like hot cakes.
"Kid, you don't know the half of it. Faking crap for these idiots is just the start." I'd told him in an amused quiet tone.
But he hadn't found the comment that funny. And talk of faking things led to a conversation of a different sort. That's when I'd learned that not all of the district 12 victors had been lucky enough to elude Snow's designs.
I wondered what Deen was doing now, safe in 13, far away from all of this. I was trying really hard to distract myself from everything that had happened in the past 24 hours. I was hoping to block out thoughts of what would have to happen shortly.
"Finnick, how do you want to handle this?" Johanna hissed at me as she swatted away the hand of the prep assistant who was trying to coax her unruly bangs into a smooth flat shape so they fell against her forehead in an attractive way.
"I don't know Jo, I'm still thinking it over." I tell her and look around once more in hopes of catching sight of Heavensbee.
"Well, you need to figure it out. These idiots told me we're on after Brainless does her set." She hisses at me impatiently and purposely flicks her bangs up so they splay messily over the side of her face. I almost smirk, but I'm too distracted with the dilemma.
"Did you ask how many songs she's singing tonight?" I ask Johanna.
"Yeah, three apparently." She whispers and I let out a breath.
"Ok, just give me a chance to look at it from all the angles." I finally say looking into her eyes. I know her, she's a fighter through and through, but neither of us wants to do this. To fight our friends, our comrades, some of the only people who know what it's like to live through the horror of the Games and then survive the nightmare of Capitol enslavement after.
I can see on her face though, she doesn't want to die. Which makes two of us.
"Alright Fin," She says finally, leaving the choice up to me.
I started to stretch out my arms and roll up and down on the balls of my feet. If we had to wait, we might as well make use of the time. After a minute Johanna joins me in stretching. We both try to rub some feeling into our perspective limbs. It's hard with handcuffs on, but we manage.
After 15 minutes, the lights dim and the guards drag us back to our seats. They make us sit, and aim their guns directly at our heads while the stage lights come up. Then I hear that bastard Caesar's voice.
"Welcome, welcome! To our continuing coverage of the Trial of the Victors! Tonight we have a special treat! All of the notorious and traitorous victors have been brought to our set tonight for a special once in a lifetime event! A battle royal between the fiercest, and deadliest warriors that live and breathe! But first the enchanting musical styling of Panem's most coveted songbird: Katniss Everdeen!" Caesar introduces Katniss and she appears at the edge of the stage, silent and immediate, like someone conjured her out of mist. She slides forward, the material of her dress accentuating her graceful movements. She moves like no woman I've seen before. So maybe that's it, the indefinable quality. She's both hunter and prey. Strong and vulnerable with steel in her eyes but a slight flush in her cheeks. Objectively it's probably very enticing. And if I wasn't already owned heart and soul by a beautiful fragile girl with sea green eyes, I would have been intrigued.
"Katniss, I hear tonight you'll be doing things a little differently. I hear you won't be singing alone, is that correct?"
"Yes Caesar, tonight I'll be working with some special guests. I'll be singing a few duets."
"Wonderful! How exciting! Hahahaha! I can't wait to get started!" Caesar laughs maniacally, and sweeps a hand out to usher Katniss back to the middle of the stage where a full sized grand piano emerges from an opening in the floor. An older gentleman, with small almond shaped eyes sits at the keys and begins gently playing an intro. Alongside the piano stands the bond haired man who looks like Peeta Mellark, with a shit eating grin on his face.
"Katniss, can you tell us a little about your guest? He looks awfully familiar."
"Noticed that, did you Caesar? Well, suffice it to say he's my inspiration for our next song. More than that and I'd have to reveal my secrets and you know I can't do that Caesar!"
"The girl on fire, so cheeky! I love it! Well whatever your inspiration is, I hope it's as enjoyable as the last few songs you've given us."
"I can promise you it will be." She says with a languid smile and I can tell she's high in the lazy way her lips curl and she blinks back at Caesar.
Oh dear, tonight looks like it's going to be a train wreck, and Katniss has kicked things off to a great start. Wannabe-Peeta steps forward and begins singing into the small microphone that loops around the back of his ear and ends in front of his mouth. It's a copy of the one Katniss has on. He sings in a soft voice accentuated by piano notes. Katniss's voice joins him on the second verse. Her voice is breathy and sweet, and the music is upbeat and loud and of all things plucky and cute. I don't know if I really like it. The blond isn't that great, but put together with Katniss he's decent. She could probably make a tone deaf imbecile look good though. Then on the chorus they start dancing and I finally see why the Capitol chose him. Even though he's a mundane singer, he is an incredible dancer. He glides Katniss around the stage effortlessly as they sing.
Hands put your empty hands in mine
And scars show me all the scars you hide
And hey, if your wings are broken
Please take mine 'til yours can open too
'Cause I'm gonna stand by you
Oh, tears make kaleidoscopes in your eyes
And hurt, I know you're hurting but so am I
And love, if your wings are broken
Borrow mine so yours can open too
'Cause I'm gonna stand by you
Even if we're breaking down
We can find a way to break through
Even if we can't find heaven
I'll walk through hell with you
Love, you're not alone
'Cause I'm gonna stand by you
Even if we can't find heaven
I'm gonna stand by you
Even if we can't find heaven
I'll walk through hell with you
Love, you're not alone
'Cause I'm gonna stand by you
Yeah, you're all I never knew I needed
And the heart, sometimes it's unclear why it's beating
And love, if your wings are broken
We can brave through those emotions too
'Cause I'm gonna stand by you
And oh, truth I guess truth is what you believe in
And faith, I think faith is having a reason
And I know, know love, if your wings are broken
Borrow mine so yours can open too
'Cause I'm gonna stand by you
Even if we're breaking down
We can find a way to break through
Even if we can't find heaven
I'll walk through hell with you
Love, you're not alone
'Cause I'm gonna stand by you
Even if we can't find heaven
I'm gonna stand by you
Even if we can't find heaven
I'll walk through hell with you
Love, you're not alone
'Cause I'm gonna stand by you
I'll be your eyes 'til yours can shine
And I'll be your arms I'll be your steady satellite
And when you can't rise
Well, I'll crawl with you on hands and knees 'cause I
I'm gonna stand by you
Even if we're breaking down (Hey)
We can find a way to break through (Come on)
Even if we can't find heaven
I'll walk through hell with you
Love, you're not alone
'Cause I'm gonna stand by you
Even if we can't find heaven (Hey)
I'm gonna stand by you
Even if we can't find heaven, heaven, heaven, heaven
I'm gonna stand by you
I listen through the whole song, and by the end I'm sure I know what Snow's plan for Katniss is. I peer over to the door at the back where Caesar and his assistant have stopped to powder his nose, and when he walks back toward the stage as the finishes I catch a glimpse through an open door. Holoscreens flash for a brief second showing large numbers, with digits climbing by the second. This is Snow's way of opening The Bidding to the entire country.
Not all of Panem's wealthiest citizens are from the Capitol. Some, like those in the lumber or precious gem mining businesses are from the Districts. But their money rivals that of some of the most pedigreed Capitol elite. And how many of them would be willing to part with a chunk of their portions to spend a night with the infamous Mockingjay? No doubt they're tripping over themselves to throw their money down before Snow follows through with her execution.
"Wow Katniss! I think I like you even better when you're part of a duo!" Caesar exclaims as she painfully extricates herself from the arms of the blond lookalike. She moves away from him and towards Caesar back at the front of the stage. The blond fades into the background.
"I'm glad you liked the song, Caesar. I, of course, have only the Capitol to thank for their generosity and consideration when it comes to my new….partnership." She says the word like it tastes wrong in her mouth.
"On behalf of the rest of us, let me say you're very welcome!" Caesar exclaims with a thunderous laugh.
She smiles at him tightly.
"Now, am I correct in assuming this song is part of a continuation of our last interview?" He asks her.
"Yes, Caesar. I wrote this song while I studied a picture of Peeta and I when we were on our first Victory tour." She says quietly.
"You did? Oh! How lovely, can we get the picture up? Oh, there it is! Where is that?" He asks even though it's pretty obvious where they are.
A photo appears of Katniss and Peeta looking resplendent in contrasting silver and gold attire. Peeta is wearing a subtly shimmering gold tux, and his normally curly hair is cut neat and short, with his bangs swept up into a pompadour style. Katniss is shining and ethereal looking in a silver lacy gown that drapes down her shoulders and back in a subtle pattern of wings. Peeta is smiling slightly at her, as he cups her cheek. She's staring back into his eyes.
"We're on the balcony of the Presidential mansion there, with President Snow himself. He had just congratulated us on finishing our Victory tour. Peeta was telling me that we could finally go home now." She says, her voice small and slightly sad.
"And it was during this tour that you said you and Peeta became genuine friends?" Caesar prompts her.
"Yes. Peeta stuck with me, through everything. Through hell and back. I couldn't have done it without him." She answers quickly, almost reactively.
"Of course, he's such a sweet, unassuming boy. Loyal to a fault it seems." Caesar says with a twinkle in his eye as he stares at her with a mischievous smile. She looks back at him expressionless.
"Oh, you two certainly seemed chummy. Very friendly. I believe that's an appropriate segue to introduce our next song. Now, here's the next picture. You and Peeta on a balcony again. This was taken during your first year as mentors. A small gossip column ran the story, before it was taken out of circulation since the both of you were under-aged at this time. It was mainly circulated in the Capitol. But here in deed are you and Peeta on the balcony of your mentor quarters. It's very early in the morning. And Peeta is...well half dressed."
Caesar is right. Peeta's pajama bottoms are slung low on his hips. His feet are bare and his button up pajama shirt is unbuttoned all the way down, like he tossed it on as an afterthought. Katniss is standing next to him in a t-shirt that comes down to her mid thighs. Her hair is loose and messy. She doesn't seem to be wearing any pajama bottoms under the long shirt. She has two mugs in her hands, and is holding one out to Peeta. They look like lovers waking up and enjoying a morning cup of coffee after sharing a passionate night.
"Did anything happen on the after the tour that might have been...past the territory of genuine friendship?" Caesar says after the silence stretches uncomfortably long.
She blinks at him for a moment and tilts her head in what looks like amusement.
"Oh, I know what you're asking. I mean I can see how it could be construed that way." She says quietly.
"What do you mean Katniss? It seems you've jumped ahead of all of us." Caesar pleads, with his hands held out in mock supplication.
"You mean the sleeping arrangements whenever we were away from 12." She says cooly and I actually smile at her openness. Johanna chortles beside me.
"What arrangements?" Caesar kept digging, determined to get her to spell it out.
"It wasn't exactly a secret. Everyone on the train knew, and most of the staff at the tribute center." She says with that same head tilt that's part confusion, part amusement.
"Just what did they know, Katniss?" He asks again.
"That Peeta slept in my room." She finally explains and even the preps near us giggle and gasp in mock surprise.
"Whoo-whoo! Wow! That certainly is a revelation for many of us! I mean Kaniss, if you loved him that's one thing. But you told us it was all an act." Caesar pretends to fan himself with his cue cards and pins Katniss with a disapproving stare.
At this she seems a little confused, she opens her mouth slightly, but nothing comes out. She shakes her head as if trying to clear it, and Caesar laughs heartily, trying to cover for the fact that she's almost too drugged to regurgitate the lines they've been feeding her.
"Cat got your tongue Katniss?" He jokes.
"I-I just wanted to say that nothing inappropriate happened. It was like being in the cave during our Games. We-were like teammates. We helped each other with the nightmares..."She says with a slight stutter, as if she herself is not sure of what she's sayings.
"Katnissss," Caesar says with a deep chuckle, drawing out the last syllable of her name, indicating that he's not buying her story.
She sets her lips, and stares back at him in what could almost be construed as an indignant scowl if the angry expression stopped weakening into that same blank slate look after a second or two. It was strange, almost like she couldn't get angry even if she wanted to.
"You mean you slept next to each other every night and neither of you were ever tempted?" He asks point blankly.
"It wasn't like that. Peeta...he was a gentleman." She says with a sigh. And I tip my eyes to the ceiling. Poor, naive kids, both of them.
"Of course he was, I'm sure despite everything." Caesar says with a wicked wink at her and she blinks back at him blankly, her pupils dilated and glassy looking.
Her brow knits in confusion, but then Caesar is clapping her on the back and leading her back to the piano where the doppelganger is poised with a satisfied grin on his face.
"Let's hear the next song you two have for us!" Caesar says as he delivers her to the false Peeta. They begin to dance, and he starts to sing again first. When she joins her voice with his, this time the sound is more pleasant, and blended.
Sun in my eyes, navy blue skies
You are the reason I can survive
We turn off the phones to just be alone
We'll draw the curtains and never leave home
I had a nightmare (oh)
But now that I'm not scared
This is how you fall in love (uh)
Let go and I'll hold you up (uh)
So pull me tight and close your eyes (uh)
Oh, my love, side to side
"What's easy is right", my mother's advice
You are the reason I never think twice
Wherever we go, what glitters is gold
You'll be my best friend until we grow old
I had a nightmare (oh)
But now that I'm not scared
This is how you fall in love (uh)
Let go and I'll hold you up (uh)
So pull me tight and close your eyes (uh)
Oh, my love, side to side (uh)
Oh, my love, side to side (uh)
Oh, my love, side to side (uh)
Oh, my love, side to side (uh)
Oh, my love, side to side
This is how you fall in love
Let go and I'll hold you up
So pull me tight and close your eyes
Oh, my love, side to side
The song is intimate and slow. It's definitely the opposite of what Katniss told Caesar. It's a blatant love song. More than that it's a song about lovers, and fits the narrative the Capitol is blatantly pushing again. It seems they are washing their hands of forcing two 16 year olds into lifelong commitment by claiming that they were together anyway all along. Plausible deniability and tinted lenses, tricks that the audiences of Panem have become so used to they probably don't even recognize them.
And Katniss is the scapegoat. She sings beautifully, but her eyes are closed. The blond man stares at her hungrily but she seems completely oblivious to his gaze. She is no doubt picturing her actual lover, Peeta at this moment. I think back to what she told Seeder when they played the tape of her and Peeta making love over the speakers. That the Capitol had only recently acquired the tapes. Maybe it had been like Annie and I, a gradual possession of the heart. Something that happened organically despite all the obstacles and the odds.
The way they had spoken to each other on the tapes certainly seemed to indicate real feelings. Katniss had been humiliated, more I think than the rest of us, when they played her tapes. She was a naturally shy and private person it seemed. And this, all this displaying of emotions and complicated relationships was eroding her in a way. You could almost see it.
In the cells she had been complaining of headaches, and a burning sensation in her mind. I was starting to think the Capitol was deliberately trying to drive her crazy. The thought tugged at my mind as I watched her sing, and suddenly there's a hand on my elbow.
"Mr. Odair," The familiar capitol accent, in that deep amused pitch that was his signature sounded in my left ear.
"Plutarch." I whispered back.
"Enjoying the show?" He asked.
"It's a little contrived for my taste." I tell him, picking up the old familiar code.
"It's appalling. Still, if you abandon your moral judgement it can be fun." He says with a chuckle. I frown.
"My moral judgement is probably the only thing I have left these days, besides my generous accommodations down in the lower levels." I tell him with a scowl, but keep my eyes on the stage and Katniss, as she dances slowly pressed up against the blond impostor.
"There's no side stepping this party tonight. So, you might as well settle in, and try to ride this out." Plutarch says quietly, so quietly I wonder how I even caught it.
"The ride's been pretty bumpy lately actually. Don't really feel like hanging on." I murmur almost as quietly back to him.
"The decision is not yours unfortunately. But don't worry, a compromise has been reached. All you have to do is follow through." He says with a pat on my shoulder and then before I can say another word he walks away much faster than a man of his age and size should be able to.
I look back to see the blond man looping his arm around Katniss' waist and pulling her close, even though the song had ended. Then his smile turns into a grimace as she digs her sharp high heel into the toe of his right shoe. He releases her and she glides forward to speak with Caesar again. I smile at Katniss' indelible spirit, despite the drugs and the mind games. She's still a spark plug.
But at least I have an answer for Johanna now. According to Plutarch's instructions, we'll have to fight our comrades, for real.
(Listening Tracks: Stand By You- Megan Nicole & Alex Goot, and This is How You Fall In Love-Jeremy Zucker & Chelsea Cutler. So what do you guys think? How was my take on Finnick's POV? Its only going to get crazier from here guys! Leave a review and let me know your predictions for Katniss' Hyjacking and rescue!)