![]() Author has written 7 stories for Beetlejuice, Harry Potter, Inuyasha, Danny Phantom, and Avengers. Hello, AnaxshiNearXVIAni_Nyu here! You can call me Anaxshi, AnaxshiNear, or Ani-Nyu. If you think being unique is cooler than being cool copy this into your profile. 98 percent of teenagers do or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this into your profile. Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, so weird is good. If there are times when you want to annoy people just for the hell of it, copy this into your profile If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile If you think that Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste. Scientists have demoted the planet Pluto, saying it is too small. If you disagree with this copy and paste this statement on your profile and add your name to the list: Tanith of Pellinor, AngelxofxthexSoul, XxDeviantAngelxX, Archangel's Requiem,KurouKageTenshiFreedomfromrule If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this to your profile. If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you said it, copy and paste If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile. If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile. If you've ever lost someone you loved, copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have embarrassing memories that make you want to smack yourself and/or someone else, copy this into your profile. EMBRACE THE WEIRDNESS! If you embrace the weirdness, then copy and paste this on to your profile. If you are odd and proud of it put this on your profile. If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste. If you have an extremely long profile, copy this into it to make it longer If you completely hate Nick for ending production of Danny Phantom, copy and paste this into your profile. (\/) Copy the bunny to your profile to help him achieve world domination, If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile If you think that it's not fair that the guys in manga and anime are almost always better than the guys in the real world, copy and paste this in your profile! if you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile. If you can draw good in real life but suck at it on the computer copy and paste this to your profile. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile(Six hours once for me,and I was ready to do more) Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse. Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door. The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on. Better to stay silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt. Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience. I'd tell you to go to hell, but I work there and really don't want to see you everyday. Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them. Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas. Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back. Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed. A wise man once said, "Ask a girl." When in doubt, push random buttons! Fighting is mind over matter. I don't mind, and you don't matter. You wanna know why God created man before woman? Every masterpiece needs a rough draft! There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train. There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves. They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you just stood there and yelled 'BANG!' I don't think you'd kill many people... Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you just keep on talking. You know, you do this annoying thing where you open your mouth and then these things you call words come out. Yeah like that. Stop it. He who laughs last thinks slowest. An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work. They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance. Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible? Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies. Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God Don't hate yourself in the morning...sleep till noon It's always the last place you look...well of course it is, why the hell would I keep looking after I found it? Boys are like trees - they take fifty years to grow up. (me: there's no way anyone can argue with that...) I find "good morning" contradictory You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30, and I'm still 29, who'll be laughing then? Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film. A clear conscience is usually a sign of memory loss. There are no stupid questions, just a lot of inquisitive idiots. I'm not as dumb as you look. The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not. We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police. If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk. Sarcasm is one more service we offer. Hate is just a special kind of love we give to people who suck. I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away. They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room? Some people are like Slinky's. They seem to have no purpose, but they still bring you a smile when you push them down the stairs. Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to. Love your enemies. It gets them really confused. 'I write for the same reason I breathe; if I didn't I would die' Silence is golden but duct tape is silver. It's ok to argue with two characters on your shoulders. Writing isn't a career, it's more of a mental illness. Anything thrown hard enough should hurt. Flying is simple, you just throw yourself at the ground and miss. 'Define normal.' We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. Some say the glass is half full, some say it's half empty, I say, "Are you gonna drink that?" All people have the right to stupidity but some people abuse the privilege. When I was born, I was so shocked that I didn't talk for a year and a half. Where there's a will...I want to be in it. Do not disturb, I'm disturbed already. The trouble with life, is there's no background music. A clean house is a sign of a broken computer! Do not walk behind me for I may not lead, do not walk in front of me for I may not follow, do not walk beside me either. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! Don't piss me off, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies. For people who like peace and quiet: Get me a CORDLESS PHONE! I don't get even, I get odder. If being an idiot hurt, then you would be in constant pain. If I were any lazier, I would slip into a coma! If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then throw it back at life and steal the oranges you asked for! If life gives you lemons...throw them at someone. If life gives you lemons, make beef stew. When life gives you lemons, say "What else have you got?" you might get something else In order to lose your mind, you have to have one in the first place. "When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it." When life gives you lemons, just read my profile. There are a bunch of options on what to do next. I've learned from my mistakes, and I'm sure I could repeat them exactly. Light travels faster than sound. That is why...some people seem bright until you hear them speak. A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. "Why do you do that, mommy?" he asked. "To make myself beautiful," " A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class.She called on him and said, "Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?"Little Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures, tacked to a bulletin board, of the 10 Which way does a compass point in space? You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be misquoted and used against you. An optimist is someone who falls off the empire state building and after 50 floors says "So far so good!" If Fed ex and UPS merge, they would be called Fed UP. I don't suffer from insanity - I enjoy every minute of it. Never drink water...if it can rust iron, think of what it can do to your stomach. Chaos, panic, pandemonium, my work here is done. Scientists are complaining that the new Dinosaur movie shows dinosaurs with lemurs, who didn't evolve for another million years. They're afraid the If two wrongs don't make a right, try three. Your misery=My joy In a dog-eat-dogworld the best thing to do is become a cat. If you think that I think that you think that I think that you think that I am totally spazzing out If you think that if girls should rule the world and it would be a better place then copy this onto your profile. If you have ever been watching a T.V show, and when the commercials came on you forgot what you were watching copy this into your profile. If you have ever had a random song pop into your head at the most completely and utter worst time but you sing it anyway copy this into your profile. You lie! You sit upon a throne of lies! Surely you can't be serious!? I am serious... and don't call me Shirely. I'ma firin my laza! It is only fair to warn you that I am practiced in the ancient art of origami. Beware my paper swan. The more you love someone,the more you want them dead. And now I ask: what is wrong with worshipping anime characters? It was an issue of religion that lead to our breakup. He thought he was God. I didn't. Why is Donkey Kong called "DONKEY" Kong if he's a monkey? If your name is Mr. Crunch, and you joined the Navy, would you eventually be Captain Crunch? 364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from Crazy is a relative term in my family! I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday. How is it possible to have a civil war? "Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide. I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love. I don't obsess! I think intensely. All the good ones are either dating someone, married, or fictional characters in books or movies. When French people swear do they say pardon my English? Aren't the 'good things that come to those who wait' just the leftovers from the people that got there first? If the SWAT team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later? I read Eclipse and wanted to punch Jacob Black REALLY REALLY HARD. Then Bella did it for me. "Power corrupts. Absolute power is kind of neat." "Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes." "Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most." "An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed." I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they go by. Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic... Never do anything you don't want to explain to the paramedics If it wasn't for physics and law enforcement I'd be unstoppable Apparently 1 in 5 people are Chinese. There are five people in my familly so it must be one of them. It's ether my mum or dad. Or my older brother, Colin. There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & and those that cant. If you can stay calm when all around you is complete chaos, you probably haven't fully understood the situation. Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that. There is no "I" in team but the is an "I" in PIE and there is an "I" in MEATPIE and MEAT is an anagram of TEAM... Don't you dare tell me the sky is the limit when there are footsteps on the moon. People like you are the reason why we have middle fingers. Be insane... because well behaved girls never made history. If dance were any easier, it would be called football. Why do all superheroes wear spandex? If mars had earthquakes would they be called marsquakes? Why did Mary own a little lamb? If a missing person sees their picture on a milk carton that offers a reward, would they get the money? If the president were gay, would his husband be the first man? If you were a genie and a person asked you this wish, "I wish you would not grant me this wish" what would you do? Why aren't safety pins as safe as they say they are? If overalls are held up by the snaps at the top, then why do they have belt loops? Why is it that its good to score under par in golf but its bad to be "under par" in any thing else? One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions. You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it My knight in shining armor turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil. Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies. Taste the rainbow- Eat CRAYONS Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. - Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, "Where the hell is the ceiling?!" What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. Worst excuse for not turning in homework: I couldn't find anyone to copy it from. Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking. I had a friend once, but then the rope broke and he got away. Got a problem with me? Solve it. Think I'm trippin'? Tie my shoe. Can't stand me? Then sit down Roses are red, If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em. How come we say 'It's colder than hell outside' when isn't it realistically always colder than hell since hell is supposed to be fire and brimstone? Why is it that if something says, "do not eat" on the packaging it becomes extra tempting to eat? Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse? Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular television? Don't they want the people without cable to buy the cable? In that song, She'll Be Coming 'Round the Mountain, who is "she"? "Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?" Can mute people burp? What happens if you put this side up face down while popping microwave popcorn? Why is chopsticks one of the easiest songs to play on the piano, but the hardest thing to eat with? How come you play at a recital, but recite at a play? If heat rises, then shouldn't hell be cold? Why is there that little space inside strawberries, as if it was meant for a pit, and then the seeds are on the outside? Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa Why do companies offer you "free gifts?" Since when has a gift NOT been If something "goes without saying," why do people still say it? You know the expression, "Don't quit your day job?" Well what do you say to Why do you get in trouble for blocking an exit when you're standing in the doorway? In case of an emergency, wouldn't you run out, too, Why is it when some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn upside down? It IS as bad as you think and they ARE out to get you. Things that make you wonder Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin? Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance that little indestructible black box is? Can fat people go skinny-dipping? If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation? If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose? So what's the speed of dark? How come abbreviated is such a long word? Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak? Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag? A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops On my desk, I have a work station.. If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"? Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? Should women put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans? Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men? How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there? If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague. After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water? Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food? If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in? Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections? Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny? Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse? Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it? Why can't you find fresh sardines in the fish market? Why do so many old people eat at cafeterias? Why does an "X" stand for a kiss? Why does the word "Filipino" start with the letter F ? Why are the copyright dates on movies and television shows written in Roman numbers? Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin? Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed? Why you have to click on "Start" to stop Windows 98? Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons? Who tastes dog food when it has a "new & improved" flavor? Why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes? Why sheep don't shrink when it rains? Why they are called apartments when they are all stuck together? If con is the opposite of pro, is "Congress" the opposite of "progress"? Why they call the airport "the terminal" if flying is so safe? Why is it called common sense if it's so rare? If an atheist has to go to court, do they make him swear on the Bible? Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway? On Sears hairdryer: On a bag of Fritos: On a bar of Dial soap: On some Swann frozen dinners: On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: On packaging for a Rowenta iron: On Boot's Children's cough medicine: On Nytol sleep aid: On a Korean kitchen knife: On a string of Christmas lights: On a food processor: On Sainsbury's peanuts: On an American Airlines packet of nuts: On a Swedish chainsaw: On a child's Superman costume: 15 Things to do with friends when you're in Walmart! 1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms. 3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away. 5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department. 7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, 8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose. 9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are. 10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme. 11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" 12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, 13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream.. 14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here! 15.Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Pikachu, I choose you!!" "Why do we teach kids that violence is not the answer and then have them read about wars in school that solved America's problems?" Anonymous "Everyday is a gift, that's why they call it the present." Anonymous "My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it's gone." Anonymous "If you know me, chances are you hate me." Anonymous "Heaven doesn't want me and hell is afraid I'll take over." Anonymous "When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back." Anonymous "Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk and the rest of it telling us to sit and shut up." Anonymous "Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it." Anonymous "Sometimes, people just build walls up not to keep others out, but to see who cares enough to break through." Anonymous "The cracks in the cement are a reminder that no matter how strong you may be, you can break." Anonymous "Tragedy is when I cut my finger, Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die"- Mel Brooks Top 75 Most Annoying Things To Do In An Elevator When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you. Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more. Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones. Call the Psychic Hot line from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on. Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?" Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!" Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator. Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment. Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play. Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking. Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers. Ask, "Did you feel that?" Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!" Swat at flies that don't exist. Tell people that you can see their aura. Call out, "Group Hug!"and then enforce it. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!" Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?" Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly. Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers. Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button. Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on". Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is MY personal space!" Put police tape in front of the door before entering. Fart loudly when there are only two of you in the elevator. Argue vehemently that it wasn't you. Do the "potty dance" all the way to the elevator door. Upon arrival, sigh and look greatly relieved. Throw a rave. Place potted plants and water fountains at strategic locations in the lift. When people ask what you are doing, tell them you "Won't ride an elevator that's not fung shwei." Greet everyone getting on with a warm handshake and ask them to call you "Admiral". Hum the first six notes of the "It's a small world" over and over again. Lean over to another rider and whisper 'Noogie patrol coming!'" Have a heated debate with yourself. Bring a melon onto the elevator. Try to sell it to the other passengers. Drum on every available surface. Write a big X on the elevator floor, and hand out "pirate" maps to everyone as they enter. Give psychotherapy to the other passengers. Greet everyone coming on as if they were your best friend. Use the same name for all of them. Say "ring ring," then pull a banana out of your pocket and start talking into it. Propose to the other passengers. Challenge people to duels. Sell girl scout cookies. Come on looking really scared, and say to another passenger..."I'm kinda nervous...this is my first time flying..." Any time someone enters the doors, recoil in horror. Shout "Food fight!" Every time someone else talks, angrily shout: "Some people are trying to sleep here!" When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to pull the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves. Lick one of the buttons. Tell the other passengers you're sick and tired of people stealing your food the second you turn your back. Elevators were practically MADE for river dance! Bring a snowboard onto the elevator. Put it on. Every time the lift goes up or down, shout "WOO-YEAH! This is what I call sick air!" Shave. Every time the elevator goes down, loudly scream "OH MY GOD!! We're all gonna die! This is it! This is it! It's over! IT'S OVER!!" Ask the other passengers if they want to see your glass clown collection. Practice your kung fu. Make race car noises when people get on and off. Ask everyone on the elevator: "Are you my mother?" Fly a model airplane. Do yoga. Play the accordion Enter the elevator with nothing on your head. Individually ask everyone if they like your hat. Bring a rocking chair. Sit and knit. Recite gangsta rap lyrics in monotone. Enter with a shovel, and attempt to "dig for treasure." Read "Green Eggs and Ham" at the top of your lungs. Sound out every word. Allodoxaphobia- Fear of opinions. Agateophobia- Fear of insanity. Alliumphobia- Fear of garlic. (Vampires??) Arachibutyrophobia- Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth. Bibliophobia- Fear of books. -This would probably drive me to phobia listed above (Agateophobia-Fear of Insanity) Chaetophobia- Fear of hair. Chromophobia or Chromatophobia- Fear of colors. -That would seriously suck. Dutchphobia- Fear of the Dutch. -Sorry Dutch people, but some people are afraid of you. Anglophobia- Fear of England or English culture, etc. Ephebiphobia- Fear of teenagers. -What can I say? Ergophobia- Fear of work. -Sounds like a good excuse to me. Gerontophobia- Fear of old people. -I just I can understand this one, I mean an old lady with crutches... shivers Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia- Fear of long words. (Now this name is just mean!) Euphobia- Fear of hearing good news. (Wow) Nomatophobia- Fear of names. Panophobia or Pantophobia- Fear of everything. REMEMBER WHEN" REMEMBER WHEN .. |
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