A/N- Back with an update! Sorry for the hold up- was enjoying some time at the beach. It's always something. Thanks for hanging in there. I always read the feedback multiple times because I love seeing what you guys think is going to happen. Most of you will be getting what you ask for. As I told one of you, the couch is basically a main character in this section of the story. Emily still sleeping on it will be addressed.

There's a flashback teaser in this one that I hope you like too. *A note on the flashbacks... I originally planned to have them appear in the story consecutively, but as I was editing, I changed some things around. I'm realizing that you all might get confused on the timeline, so I went back and edited the older chapters to add the month and year of each flashback scene. That way, they all will make sense as far as exactly when these events happened in the past. I hope that helps. And for simplicity's sake, the idea of a global pandemic just doesn't exist in this story.

Enjoy!

—

By Saturday morning, Emily had spent so much time stewing in her thoughts about her argument with Alison that she was starting to feel over cooked.

She didn't regret standing her ground, but knew that she was partially to blame for the conversation going as badly as it did. Whether or not she wanted to, or felt like she had to, she knew that she still should have told Alison about Sabrina if she intended to continue dating her. Alison didn't deserve to know about her dating life under normal circumstances, but they'd agreed to work as partners here and Emily could understand her maybe feeling blind sighted.

She was still pissed at Alison for how she handled it though. The blonde needed to talk to her if she was upset for whatever reason, not give her bouts of silent treatment punctuated by bitchy comments. She knew that it was a complicated situation, and that there would be a learning curve. More than anything, though, she was just sick of waking up everyday feeling tired and conflicted.

Initially, she had been secretly a little bit happy to get Alison out of the house. It would mean not having to walk around on eggshells like she had for the past week, but she'd forgotten how exhausting it was to take care of the kids by herself. She got up with Liam and Ellie most days, but for some reason today seemed harder than the others. It started with Ellie waking up before Liam, which pretty much never happens. It was easier to wake up with Liam first because there were certain things that he needed when he got up that he, obviously, couldn't do him for himself. Emily had a full routine with him and it was good to get him set before hurricane Ellie started running around. When she was up, she was geared and ready to go. She would immediately tear out her toys and run around as if she'd just had multiple expresso shots.

Emily was awake already when she heard Ellie calling for her. She constricted her brows at the sound, thrown off because she had been waiting to hear Liam, not Ellie. When she got to the little girl's room, she was waiting for Emily with a big smile on her face.

"Aunt Em, can we play Elsa?" She asked excited when Emily started walking towards her.

"Can we get your brother up first, sweetie?" Emily tried.

"But I want to play now," the little girl pouted.

Emily checked her watch. Liam would probably be up at any minute, but she supposed she could sit with her while they waited. "Okay, for a few minutes."

Ellie excitedly jump out of bed and grabbed two of her dolls. She handed one to Emily. They played for exactly a few minutes before the sounds baby cries tore through the house and sounded over the monitor. Emily picked the monitor up and looked at the video. Liam was rolling around the small mattress roughly. His cries were loud and he had kicked himself halfway out of his sleep sack. He was cranky like this in the morning every few days. She wasn't sure what caused it, whether it was a bad dream or a restless night of sleep, but it usually resulted in a tougher morning with him.

"Ellie, can you come with me to Liam's room?" Emily asked. She wasn't sure why she was trying. She knew what the answer was going to be.

"Nooo," Ellie looked up at her with pursed lips and a distraught look in her eyes. "I want to keep playing..."

Emily sighed. Neither she or Alison were good at saying no to Ellie. Discipline had really taken a backseat in the house with both women putting the children's happiness first. She took in the little girl's expression and knew that she couldn't say no to her. "Can you stay put and play while I'm in the other room?"

Ellie's expression switched immediately to pleased and she nodded her head up and down.

"Ok..." Emily stood up and surveyed the room to make sure that Ellie was okay to play unsupervised. She nodded to herself and retreated towards the hallway. Liam cried out again as she got close to the door. She sucked in a breath through her nose and released it before heading in.

When she pushed opened the door, Liam had tear streaks down his cheeks. He continued to cry loudly as she approached him. "Hey..." She cooed soothingly and held her arms out towards him. He cried one more time before looking up at her. He hiccuped through a few shallow breaths and lifted an arm in the air. Emily pushed her lips together. She had no idea why he'd woken up so distressed, but she'd come up with several methods in the last few weeks that helped. "Come here..." She bent down and lifted him front the crib. He rested his head on her shoulder and wined a few more times while Emily rubbed his back to soothe him. "We're okay..." She told him.

Once he seemed to relax, she held him out and took a look at his face. His cheeks were still flushed pink, but the tears had stopped for the most part. He looked back at her with his brows constricted and lips pursed. The expression was almost identical to his sister's just a few minutes before. He started to wine again with shallow breaths in between, so Emily quickly brought him back against her body. She rubbed his a back again and ran her hands through his thin hair. "It's okay Liam. We're going to get you a clean diaper, okay?" She walked him over and laid him down on his back on the changing table. She took her time to free his other leg from the twisted sleep sack and discard it. As she moved around the changing table, grabbing what she needed, she continued to talk him down to try to get him to relax.

After she changed him, he finally seemed to calm a bit. She thought she was finally in the clear when she zipped his pajamas back up when she heard several loud thumps down the steps. Her eyes widened and her heart slammed in her chest as she sucked in a quick breath through her nose. She quickly picked up Liam and placed him in his crib before running out of the room. She'd told Ellie to stay in her room and the little girl knew that she wasn't supposed to roam the house or use the stairs without someone close by so the sound sent Emily into a panic. When she got to the hallway, Ellie was standing at the top of the steps holding one of her dolls.

"Ellie!" Emily called out quickly.

The little girl slowly turned around and looked at her. Her demeanor was relaxed and the exact opposite of Emily's panic. She tilted her head at her aunt.

"What are you doing?!" Emily shouted. She was relieved to see that Ellie was at the top of the stairs and not the bottom, but the initial terror was still present. If anything happened to either one of these kids she wouldn't forgive herself. Ellie's face fell immediately at the volume and tone of Emily's voice. Emily and Alison rarely lectured the kids and almost never raised their voices. This was different, though. Keeping the kids safe came first before keeping them happy.

"I wanted my doll to fly," she told Emily. Her voice was defensive and her forehead was creased.

Emily took a few steadying breaths. She hadn't wanted to scare Ellie, but the toddler had scared her. Now that she knew she was fine, she needed to deescalate. She walked over to her and bent down so that she was at eye level. "Sweetie, you know that we don't play on the stairs," she told her gently.

"But I wanted them them to fly," Ellie wined in objection.

"Dolls don't fly. Come with me so that we can get your brother and go downstairs. We'll need to make sure that they aren't hurt." She wasn't leaving the little girl out of her sight again. She took her hand to get her to come along, but Ellie didn't move. Instead, she looked up at Emily in distress and said something that caused Emily's heart to drop.

"Like Mommy?"

Emily's eyes went wide at the question. Every once in awhile Ellie would mention her parents, but the accident had never been spoken about. "Uhm." Her words got caught in her mouth. "What did you say?"

"I don't want my dollies to get hurt and not come back like my Mommy," Ellie told her sadly.

"No," Emily shook her head. She didn't know what to say and the right thing wasn't coming out. It wasn't even 8am yet and here she was faced with talking about Toby and Spencer's accident with their three-year-old daughter. Back when the accident had happened, the Hastings had handled telling Ellie about her parents. They'd told her that her mother and father got hurt and were in heaven... that they couldn't come back home. Emily knew that Ellie was too little to really understand. She didn't need an explanation now. It didn't seem like that was what the little girl needed. Instead, Emily reached down and picked her up. "The dollies are going to be fine, okay." She told her softly.

Ellie rested her head against Emily. After a moment she mumbled into her shoulder. "I miss my Mommy."

It broke Emily's heart to hear that. It killed her that there wasn't anything that she could do for these kids to bring back Toby and Spencer. If there was, she would do it in a heartbeat because god, she missed them too.

"I know, sweetie," she rubbed Ellie's back gently. After a moment, she walked back towards Liam's room to get the baby and start the day. It wasn't even lunchtime yet and she found herself wishing that Alison was here. She didn't know if the blonde would have known what to say either, but at least Emily wouldn't be faced with it alone.

The rest of the morning was less heavy, but just as chaotic. There was zero cooperation from either one of the kids. Liam drank his morning bottle, but refused to eat anything. Ellie changed her mind that she wanted a pancake exactly two second after Emily started to make her scrambled eggs. When Emily had Liam on his play blanket to work on trying to help him stand, Ellie wanted to run around the house.

And of course, when it came time for their afternoon naps, neither of them would go down. After about thirty minutes of sitting with Ellie trying to get her to sleep, all while listening to Liam cry in the other room, Emily had about had it.

"Okay," she stood up from the foot of Ellie's bed abruptly. "Get dressed."

Ellie's brows pushed together. "I don't have to nap?"

Emily shook her head. "Nope, we're going on a car ride." She decided that the three of them were getting out of the house. Even if it didn't calm the kids down, the change of scenery would help her at least.

Once Ellie was dressed, Emily went to Liam's room and pulled the crying baby from his crib. She changed him out of his pajamas and the three of them headed out to the car. She didn't really go into it with a plan, but after driving for a bit and finally getting Liam to calm down she realized how close she was to one of her favorite places and headed in that direction.

She walked into The Brew twenty minutes later pushing Liam in his stroller, holding Ellie's hand and inhaling the smell of coffee beans. She looked behind the counter to see if Sabrina was there, but she didn't see her. Her face fell slightly... until she heard a voice coming up behind her.

"Gang's all here," Sabrina's commented playfully.

Emily turned around and smiled. "Yeah, a little Saturday outing." She pushed her lips together and nodded. "It's been a day."

Sabrina gave a light laugh. "Emily it's one in the afternoon."

Ellie started tugging at Emily in an attempt to walk towards the counter where the deserts were displayed in the window at her eye level. Emily stayed put and as Ellie started walking, her feet went nowhere. She looked up at Emily and let out a whine as she tried to pull her harder. Emily looked at Sabrina with raised brows.

"Okay, it's been a day." Sabrina agreed with another light laugh. She noted little girl who clearly was dying to see the pastries. "Why don't you and Liam sit down and I'll take her to pick something out?"

Emily smiled at the offer. "That sounds great." She looked down at Ellie and put her hand on her arm to stop the pulling. "Els, Sabrina is going to take you to go look. Can you go with her?" Sabrina had actually met Ellie and Liam a few times early on in their relationship when Emily had brought her over with her to hang out with Toby and Spencer. Emily doubted that Ellie actually remembered her, but regardless, she nodded eagerly.

Sabrina reached out her hand to walk with Ellie. "Is she allergic to anything?"

Emily thought for a minute. "...Not that I know of." She'd never heard it mentioned in the last three years, but she made a mental note to go over that the next time that Ellie had a doctor's appointment.

Ellie and Sabrina headed towards the pastries and Emily went and found a table to sit down at. She watched them as Ellie contemplated what to get and decided to try a bottle with Liam again. She figured if he took it, maybe he could nap for a bit while they were there. It was nice to have just a few minutes of help. Sometimes she wondered how Alison stayed at home with them all day long. Even though she was still annoyed with the other woman, she still could appreciate that this was not an easy task.

After a few minutes, they returned back. Ellie sat down at the table and immediately started devouring a chocolate chip muffin. Sabrina set an Americano down on the table in front of Emily.

"Looks like you might need this," she noted.

"Desperately," Emily agreed. She shifted Liam on her lap slightly so that she could take a sip of the drink with her free hand. "How is your day going?" She asked.

Sabrina sat down in one of the empty seats. "Well, my new morning baker burned two dozen fresh bagels, we ran out of our most popular latte flavor, and..." She undid her apron strap to reveal a huge stain in the middle of her white blouse. "I spilled two half full glasses of ice tea on myself about thirty minutes ago."

Emily tucked in her lips to try not to smile. Even when slightly disheveled and with a stained shirt, she still thought the other woman looked cute. There was just something very real about Sabrina. She was always upfront about what she wanted and how she was feeling. There was no guessing, no games. "So maybe we both needed a break."

Sabrina nodded. "When does Alison come back tomorrow?"

Emily shrugged. They hadn't spoken since the blonde left yesterday, basically right after Emily had walked in the door. She'd expected Alison to call and check up, but never received anything. The bitter part of her even wondered if she had actually gone to New York to see Hanna, but the more understanding part of her was trying to quell that with the knowledge that Alison deserved a break too.

"So she just left for the whole weekend?" Sabrina asked. Emily nodded to confirm. "Isn't that a little long to leave you with the kids?" She asked. Her tone wasn't bitchy or judgmental, but she was definitely concerned.

"Yeah, but I'm fine. I can handle it," Emily nodded, mostly to herself. She was exhausted, but she'd taken care of these kids by herself plenty in the past. She could did it for a weekend if she needed to. The only issue was that it seemed like Alison had chosen to leave because she wanted a break from Emily, not the kids. "Plus, I think it's just her way of getting back at me after our date on Halloween."

"Why would she be doing that?" Sabrina asked, her forehead crinkling in confusion.

Emily let out a long exhale. That was a much longer conversation for another day. Or never at all. Plus, the kids were around so she definitely wasn't going there. Instead, she just simplified it. "We didn't really discuss you and I dating before that and she didn't really take it well."

Sabrina narrowed her eyes. "We've never met, how can she already not like me?"She asked with a curious tilt of her head.

"No! No, it's not that," Emily reached out and found her hand. Sabrina was really the opposite of Alison in so many ways, how was she supposed to understand that Alison was often angry for no apparent reason. "I think she just didn't know that I was seeing someone, so she just needs to warm up to it is all."

"So she isn't dating anyone?" Sabrina asked.

"No... not that she's told me," Emily answered. She had no idea what Alison's romantic life had been for the last few years. The last person that she had been with was Elliott, and Emily remembered when that ended.

~August 2020

"I was wondering where you were..." Emily commented as she rounded the corner.

"Yeah, I've been running around pretty much all day..." The blonde answered.

That part made sense. It was the day before Spencer and Toby's wedding and Emily presumed that as the Maid of Honor she had plenty of last minute things to take care of. Emily wasn't talking about today though, not really. It was more that she hadn't heard from the blonde in over a week and it had made her nervous. After confronting Alison about the bachelorette party, they'd left things between them fine, but she knew that she had asked the blonde some hard questions. She had been wondering if maybe she had overstepped. She'd been relieved when Alison appeared a few moments ago. Emily was in the hotel dining room, helping the wedding planner go over some last minute plans for the rehearsal dinner that night, when she looked up and saw the blonde beckoning her towards the hallway. She'd followed her into a small room that looked like it was meant for coat check. It was only now that that she got a good look at Alison that she realized how anxious she looked. "Everything okay?" Emily asked, concern seeping into her voice.

Alison was looking back at her intently and she nodded immediately at the question. "Yeah, I-" She stopped but her lips were parted and she blinked several times. She took a quick breath and lowered her voice. "I needed to tell you something."

Emily took a step further into the room. She hadn't seen anyone lingering in the hallway, but she didn't want anyone overhearing just in case. "Yeah, what's- what's up?" She stuttered. She was starting to catch the anxiety that Alison was putting off.

Alison didn't answer right away, but she looked back at Emily, making eye contact again. She held her gaze for what felt like several long seconds before she slowly raised her hand in the air between them up.

Emily's forehead creased on confusion. Her gaze moved from Alison's eyes to her hand. It was alone in the air, just above chest level. Her fingers were slightly parted, but otherwise there was nothing wrong. It clearly wasn't broken or bruised. It took her a minute to figure out what Alison was trying to tell her.

And then it hit her like a brick wall.

Alison was holding up her left hand. The hand that always had a big diamond ring on the fourth finger. And that ring? It was gone. Emily's brows raised in realization. She felt her heartbeat pick up and she tried to steady herself with a deep breath. She looked back towards Alison. She wanted her to say something to clarify this, but the blonde stayed quiet. Emily wasn't certain, but it looked like a slight smile was making its way onto her face. "What..." She moved her eyes back and forth between Alison's hand and her face several times. "What does this mean?" She asked quietly as her heart continued to pound in her chest.

Alison's smile faltered slightly, as if she hadn't been expecting that question. A few moments went by before she spoke. "... I don't know," she answered. She took a few steadying breaths and made eye contact with the brunette again. "I just... wanted you to know."

Silence hung in the air after that, but Alison's lips turned up again slightly and Emily found herself mirroring that expression. She wasn't sure what this meant either, but she felt happy. She was happy because despite looking anxious and a little unsure, she could tell that Alison was happy too.

The memory caused Emily to falter slightly. It had been such an intense moment between her and Alison. She'd questioned the blonde's relationship with Elliott and Alison had actually taken the words to heart. She ended her relationship and Emily was the first person that she told. It was a moment that had Emily's heart almost exploding at the time.

But Emily hadn't been the next person that Alison dated. Emily had no idea who she might have been with the past five years, but she felt pretty sure that the blonde wasn't seeing anyone now. Not after the way she acted the other night.

"I think it's more that she's worried about how it would affect things at home and in the future," Emily clarified.

Sabrina gave a half smile. "I get that." She squeezed Emily's hand that she had been holding.

Emily raised her brows. She knew that Sabrina was understanding when it came to her, but seeing her be so understanding when it came to someone that she didn't know was something else. "You do?" She asked.

"Yeah, of course," Sabrina nodded. "Her whole life has changed too. I know how hard this has been for you, and I'm sure she's going through the same thing."

Emily tilted her head towards her shoulder and gave a half shrug. "You're right," she conceded. It wasn't that she forgot that Alison was grieving too, but she was definitely guilty of considering her own emotions first. She glanced down at Liam and noticed that he had finally finished the bottle that she'd been trying to give him since he'd woken up. She smiled, thinking better late than never, and lifted him to her shoulder so that she could pat his back.

Emily took a second to think about how much her life had changed. Months ago, she had been sitting at this very table trying to sweet talk Sabrina to get her phone number. Now she was in the same seat burping a baby and glancing at Ellie wondering how she'd made such a big mess out of her muffin. It was nice that Sabrina was still a constant in her life. Alison presumably didn't have something like that, and Emily could sympathize for her.

"I hope you're at least taking the guest room while she's gone so that your neck doesn't go bad," Sabrina noted.

"No," Emily exhaled. "It's getting more uncomfortable everyday. It was pretty silly to agree to just give her the only guest room."

"You're always thinking of other people before yourself. It's one of the things I like most about you," Sabrina smiled at her.

It always felt good to get compliments, and she really appreciated Sabrina for it. She smiled back and stood up to put Liam back in the stroller. Based on the way his eyes were slumping after the bottle, it seemed like he would be napping in no time.

"I probably have to get back to work," Sabrina stood up. "How about I grab another one of those muffins that Ellie just devoured?"

Emily laughed. "I think that will come in handy, thanks."

As it turned out, the muffin did come in handy later that night. Emily wasn't above bribing the toddler to get her to cooperate. It helped to make the afternoon and evening much better than the morning had been.

She got both Ellie and Liam in bed by their normal bedtime and felt accomplished as she closed Ellie's bedroom door that evening. She looked down the hallway towards the guest room and thought back to what Sabrina said about capitalizing on the empty guest bed. She started walking in the direction of the room. The door had been left opened, so it wasn't like Alison was closing the place off to her.

She walked through the doorway and looked around. The room was tidy, which wasn't surprising. Alison was actually pretty religious about keeping things clean. There wasn't a night that went by that Alison didn't make sure that either she or Emily had cleaned the kitchen completely after dinner. It was another one of those tidbits that Emily hadn't known about her until they'd moved into the house together. The bed was made, with the comforter perfectly folded down. Emily looked at the bed and considered it. It sure looked a lot more comfortable than the couch. Maybe she could just sleep there tonight. She'd change the sheets afterwards. It wouldn't be a problem, right?

She glanced at the bedside table. It was clean and clear of any clutter. Emily though back to her own bedside table back at her apartment. It always had stuff on it, whether it was a water glass, tissues, her watch, or random earrings. Besides the lamp, the only thing on this table was a small, rectangular book on the shelf below the drawer. She picked it up and opened it to find it was actually a notebook. Her brows pinched because the book was filled with pages and pages of written words, but none of them were in full sentences. It was like a hurricane of thoughts spanning each page. There were pages filled with just single words listed- dream, wish, desire, want, hope, prayer, thought. Other pages were phrases of similes and metaphors. One page describes a sunny day in several different variations. She turned to another page and her eyes caught the word caress and she snapped the book shut in quickly. She wasn't sure what was written, but it didn't feel like hers to read. She took a breath and looked around the room. She couldn't sleep here. It just felt like an invasion of privacy.

She ended up going back downstairs and pouring herself a well-deserved drink after a long day. It struck her as she was walking back into the living room how wine had become her go-to drink. It was definitely something that had come from living with Alison, though she didn't drink often and wasn't likely to stock the house with her own beverages. She wondered what Hanna and Alison were up to tonight. She still hadn't heard from the blonde and while it wasn't like she was dying to talk to her, it still felt strange. She was with Hanna... right? She hated that she was questioning the other woman, but when she pulled away like this, what was Emily supposed to think? She thought about just picking up the phone and calling Alison, but instead called a different number. The phone rang several times before the line picked up.

"Hey Emily," Hanna's voice greeted on the other end.

"Hey," Emily tried to push some brightness into her voice. "What's up?"

"Just waiting around for Ali."

Emily could imagine Hanna rolling her eyes on the other end of the phone and it made her smile. Hanna always said what was on her mind. "Where is she?" Emily asked. So was Alison actually not with Hanna yet?

"She's in the bathroom doing her hair," Hanna told her. "Taking forever perfecting the curls. The usual."

It was a relief to know that Alison was indeed where she said she'd be. At least that was one less problem.

Hanna spoke again when Emily was silent on the other line. "Everything okay with the kids?"

"Oh! Yeah, no- we're good here," Emily told her. "I just got them into bed and wanted to make sure everything was okay with you guys."

"We're fine," Hanna confirmed. "Outside of Ali being super picky about where we're going for dinner and taking forever to get ready."

Emily laughed at the antics. She actually wished that she was there with them going out. Either way, she was happy for the blonde. Maybe Alison would come home in a better mood. "Well I'll let you go so you can go speed her up."

"Thanks. If we don't get to dinner soon, I'm going to wind up eating my shoe in the cab." Hanna complained while Emily scrunched up her nose on the other end. What a weird, but very Hanna- like thing to say. "You want me to tell Ali to call you?"

"No go have fun!" Emily told her. "Actually, don't tell her that I called at all."

"Why?" Hanna asked.

Emily shrugged. "I don't know... is it weird that I did? I haven't heard from her all weekend."

"No, Emily it's not weird. You were just worried."

"Yeah..." Emily nodded. Maybe that was it, though there was a little bit of suspicion on her end too. "You don't need to tell her I called though. Just have fun together. I think she needed to get out."

"I think I know what that means," Hanna laughed. She'd obviously seen her share of Alison's moods.

"Yeah, try to send her back here in a better mood," Emily joked.

"No promises, but I'll do my best."

Emily laughed again and they said their goodbyes. She relaxed a bit following the call and sipped her wine. Her phone buzzed less than a half hour later with a text from Alison.

Everything go alright with Liam and Ellie today? The text read.

So clearly Hanna had mentioned something to Alison. Emily doubted that this was a coincidence. She was fine with it though. Even if Alison had to be reminded by Hanna, it was still good that she reached out. Emily responded to the text that yes, everything was fine. She told her to have a nice night. Alison thanked her and told her that she'd see them tomorrow afternoon. Emily finished her glass of wine. A little bit of communication was better than none. She fell asleep not long after that.

—

The next morning Emily woke up feeling uncomfortable yet again. Since she'd gone to sleep with at least a little bit more peace than she had the previous two nights, she was starting to believe that the couch really might be causing her some problems. She wondered if maybe she just should have sucked it up and asked Alison if she could sleep in the guest room while she was gone. Even if she had, though, that was a short-term solution.

Luckily, the morning wasn't quite as hectic as the previous had been. The kids woke up at their normal times, both in good spirits, and were generally cooperative throughout breakfast. The three of them spent the morning just playing around the house. Ellie ran around and played with her dolls. When she took a break to relax, Emily tried to give Liam some some special attention. If she stood him up near the couch, he was able to stay up for a short period. He wasn't quite able to push himself up or stand unsupported yet, but it felt like he was so close. Alison texted around lunchtime and said that she would be home before dinner and could pick something up for them. Emily had the feeling the the time apart had cooled the blonde off somewhat. She wasn't exactly sure what to expect when Alison came back, but anything would be better than the last week.

When the kids went down for their naps, Emily started thinking back to her sleeping situation. She couldn't sleep on the couch forever and it was starting to feel more and more uncomfortable every night. She wasn't really sure what to do. She'd been sleeping on a couch for almost two months now when she had a perfectly good bed at home. Moving Ellie and Liam into one room didn't seem fair, plus their sleep scheduled varied somewhat. There was one other option- one blatantly obvious other option that that they'd all been ignoring, which was Spencer and Toby's old room. Emily walked towards the steps without knowing exactly what her plan was.

It was quiet on the second floor, which was to be expected during nap time. She kept her feet light and walked in the direction of Spencer and Toby's room. When she got to the door, she hesitated for a moment. In the time since she had moved in, she'd never spent time in there, but she wanted to get a look inside and see if there was anything that could be done to help her find a place to sleep. It wasn't like she was planning to sleep in their bed- no way- but maybe she would get an idea. She took a deep breath, pushed the door opened, and stepped inside.

It was eerie to be in the room. It felt colder in there than it did in the rest of the house, and she was pretty sure that it wasn't just her imagination. She took a look around... maybe she could move a few things and put another bed for herself in a corner? But as she looked and noted the small desk in one corner with one of Spencer's work blazers draped over the chair and a dresser in the other corner with Toby's watch and several pieces of mail, she knew that she wasn't ready to touch anything yet. She sighed. This was a dumb idea, she wasn't sure why she was putting herself through being in this room anyway.

She took one last look around the room and decided to leave. Her chest was starting to feel heavy and she felt like she needed air. As she was turning towards the door, she heard a voice that stopped her in her tracks.

"...Mommy?" Ellie's tiny voice sounded from the hallway.

Shit shit shit

Emily sucked in a breath. When had Ellie woken up? She'd been almost silent. It was scary to think that the toddler could be that in tune to hearing footsteps in the room that her parents used to sleep in. It was probably a hope that was deep down inside of her... and here Emily was about to spoiled that hope.

"No, hunny... it's Aunt Em..." She took a few steps forward right as Ellie walked through the doorway.

Ellie's eyes were tired because she'd been asleep until a few minutes ago, but her face still visibly fell when she saw Emily. She looked around the room several times, as if waiting for someone else to appear, but when they didn't her face crumbled and her eyes filled with tears.

Emily rushed over to her. "It's okay Els, come here." She picked Ellie up right as the little girl let out a loud sob. She held Ellie against her shoulder and rubbed her back as she continued to cry and it took everything for Emily not to breakdown too. She walked them both through the doorway, pulling the door closed behind her, and headed back to Ellie's room. She laid her down onto the bed and tried to calm her down. Ellie rolled around several times, crying and kicking her legs around before she started to settle down. Emily kept rubbing her back and whispering to her as the little girl cuddled into her. Even after she cried herself back to sleep Emily just stayed in the bed. The whole event was enough to make her never want to go back into that bedroom again.

The memory stayed fresh in her mind throughout the rest of the day. She was worried about Ellie because that had been the second time that weekend that she had talked about her mother and acknowledged that she wasn't there. This had been the most she'd seen Ellie cry since moving in and she felt terrible. She wondered if they were doing enough with Ellie to help her through her trauma. She knew that she was going to have to talk to Alison about all of that and given the state of their relationship, she wasn't totally sure where that was going to go.

When the blonde came home later that evening, she seemed in good spirits. She was upbeat with the kids and more talkative with Emily than she had been the entire week prior. They all ate dinner together and Alison asked about their weekend. Luckily, Ellie didn't bring up the incident from earlier in the afternoon before Emily could totally brief Alison about it. After they got cleaned up after dinner, they each helped one of the kids and got them to bed.

Emily chose to take Ellie, even though it required more work. She gave the little girl her bath, got her into her pajamas, and read her a few stories before she started drifting off. Once Ellie was asleep, Emily exited the room. She noted that Alison was in the guest room and walked in that direction, tapping on the open door lightly when she got to the threshold.

"Hey," Alison looked up. By the looks of things, she was unpacking her weekend bag, and had a few small piles of clothes spread out on the bed.

"Hey," Emily greeted softly. "Can we talk?"

Alison hesitated for a second. "Yeah... what's up?"

"Maybe downstairs?" Emily suggested. She didn't think that this discussion would get quite so heated as last time, but she still didn't want Ellie overhearing them- especially now that she knew how light the little girl could sleep.

"Sure..." Alison put down the jeans she was holding and walked towards the door. They quietly walked down the stairs and went to the living room, sitting on opposite couches. "What's up?" Alison asked again once they were seated.

Emily pushed her lips together as she tried to gather her thoughts. She wasn't exactly sure where to start or how to frame things. Before she could get a word out, Alison's voice interrupted her.

"Is this about Thursday night?" She asked Emily, words coming quickly from her mouth.

Emily pinched her brows together. She'd almost forgot about that. They would need to have that discussion, but the events of the weekend had moved her and Alison's drama down her priority list. "Uh, no... I mean we should probably talk about that but it's more about some things this weekend..."

"Okay..." Alison pushed her on. Her head was tilted slightly and she had a look on her face that was a mixture of nervousness and curiosity.

"It's Ellie..."

"What happened? Is she okay?!" Alison demanded, as she just about jumped off of the couch.

"Uh, she's okay," Emily held up her hand. She probably should have framed the conversation a little bit better. She figured Alison would have known that Ellie was in once piece since she'd seen her with her own eyes that evening, but she understood the initial fear. The night that Alison had brought up concerns with Liam, Emily had immediately looked to at the baby to make sure he appeared alright. "I'm just worried. There were a couple of... incidents this weekend."

Alison sucked in a deep breath and huffed it out. "Okay...?" She looked at Emily waiting for her to elaborate.

"I'm not sure if she's processing losing her parents."

"She's three. Of course she's not processing it," Alison grumbled.

"I know, but she said something yesterday that really... I don't know..." she wanted to tell Alison that it broke her heart, but she stopped herself.

"What did she say?" Alison asked.

Emily gulped as she recalled the interaction. "She threw her dolls down the stairs and I told her not to do that because she would hurt them..." She took a breath before she continued. "And she got upset because she was worried that if they got hurt they 'wouldn't come back' like..." Emily looked at Alison to make sure she understood the implication.

Alison stared back at her, unmoving. Her mouth stayed closed and her eyes bore into Emily's. It was clear that she was disturbed by the information, but instead of responding she just continued to stare at Emily as she told took several silent breaths.

It made Emily nervous and she spoke quickly to fill the silence. "And then today, I was in Spencer and Toby's room when the kids were napping and she woke up and I guess thought it was one of her parents and then when she found out that it wasn't she started crying and I didn't know what to say or what to do because there was nothing was was going to make it better for her." She tried to catch her breath after blurring the whole story out.

Alison's eyes widened slightly and she blinked several times. Silence hung in the air, with neither of them speaking.

"Can you say something please?" Emily spoke up when the silence became too much.

Alison breathed out heavily and rubbed at her forehead. She made a sound between a grumble and a whine before uttering something that sounded like "Fuuuck."

It wasn't exactly the words of wisdom that Emily was looking for, though it was about the sentiment that she had felt at the time. If Ellie was struggling, Emily wanted to know, but that didn't mean that it didn't hurt to know. When she held Ellie earlier as she sobbed, all that Emily could think was that she was failing. And it sucked. She looked at Alison, who had lowered her hand and now wore a pained expression on her face. She'd been trying to think of what to do all day, and though she didn't really have the answers, she did have an idea. "I think that we should look into having her see a therapist," she suggested.

"No," Alison shook her head defiantly. "We're not doing that."

Emily pinched her brows together. She was open to a discussion about it, but didn't imagine that she was going to get shot down so easily. "Why not?" She asked.

Alison huffed out another breath and folded her arms. She was quiet for a moment as if she was maybe thinking about something, and then shook her head before speaking. "My Dad made me see a therapist after my we lost my Mom. I hated it." She shook her head again, almost angrily. "She tried to diagnose me with all of this other crap just because I didn't want to talk to her."

"Okay," Emily nodded slowly. This was clearly a delicate topic, but it didn't seem like Alison was looking at it objectively. "Do you think that maybe it was just that particular therapist?"

Alison shook her head. "No, I don't," she said stubbornly. "And she doesn't need a therapist. She has us."

"Ali... I don't feel equipped to handle this. I hardly feel like I'm equipped to take care of two kids at all sometimes, but this... this is out of my wheelhouse," Emily protested.

"I don't want to complicate things even more for her. I don't think it's a good idea," Alison argued.

Emily took a deep breath. She didn't know the answer, but she knew that therapy helped a lot of people. She'd never actually gone herself- she wasn't particularly great with talking about her feelings either- but she knew some people that did. She didn't really want to start another argument though, even if she thought that Alison was being closed minded about this. "Okay, why don't we table this for now. Let's just think about it and keep an eye on her. Can we do that?" She asked.

"Yeah," Alison nodded, "that's fine." A few moments went by with silence hanging between them before Alison looked back at her with a curious look. "Wait- why were you in their room?"

She didn't sound angry, but Emily felt defensive anyway. "I was only in there for like a minute. I wasn't- like- going through their stuff. I didn't touch anything."

"I didn't say you did..."

"Right..." Emily repositioned herself to try to ease her demeanor. "That was the other thing about this weekend that I wanted to talk to you about. I don't know how much longer I can sleep on this couch." She confessed.

"Why wouldn't you sleep in the guest room? I had the bed made and made sure that everything was cleaned up." Alison pointed out.

"It just... that's your room though," she tried to explain.

"It's the guest room, Em," Alison reminded her softly. "The guest room that you offered to let me sleep in. It's not mine."

"All of your stuff is in there," Emily pointed out.

"Well where was I going to put it?" Alison asked. "The basement?"

"No," Emily huffed. She wasn't mad at the blonde. It was more so now knowing that she'd deprived herself of two nights of comfortable rest.

"Do you want to trade?" Alison raised a brow.

"I don't know... I don't want you to have to sleep in the couch either. That was why I went into their room... I was trying to figure out if I could find a place to put a bed." She realized while she was in there that it wouldn't work, not just for functional reasons, but because that room was still just too off limits in her mind.

"Listen," Alison spoke up, breaking into Emily's thoughts. "Thanksgiving is in a couple of weeks... and if I were you, I'd do what I just did and take a long weekend to yourself. Go back to your apartment or spend it with your Mom."

Emily looked confused at the change of conversation. "You want me to leave for Thanksgiving?"

Alison twisted her lips. "Do you really want to spend it with my family? The Hastings will be there... my Dad... I'm sure some other random relatives. I'm trying to spare you."

Emily certainly did not want to spend Thanksgiving sitting around the table with Peter, Veronica, and Melissa. She did enough of that already. "Are you... sure?" She asked skeptically.

Alison shrugged. "It's an easy out to spend the holiday with your family. Plus, you let me get away this weekend and it was really nice to just take a break from everything."

Emily nodded. "Yeah, okay... thanks." She felt oddly skeptical.

"And I'll sleep down here until then," She told Emily. "Starting tomorrow."

Now Emily was definitely suspicious. "Are you okay? Why are you being so nice."

"What?" The blonde huffed. "I can't be nice?"

"Um..." Emily was afraid to comment. She might get that guest room taken away before she even got it.

Alison rolled her eyes at the response. "Look, I feel bad about last week. I was sort of..."

"Bitchy?" Emily supplied. She regretted it for a second when she saw Alison's mouth fly opened in shock across from her. "Sorry..."

Alison shook her head at Emily, but surprised the brunette by chuckling. "But yeah." She turned serious. "You didn't deserve that."

"We're fine, Ali." Emily told her. "Plus, I watched the last episode of that series. I don't know how you didn't spoil the ending."

"Because I can keep a secret," Alison shrugged. "I can also be incredibly stubborn when I want to be."

"You don't say..." Emily laughed. After a moment, Alison joined her, laughing lightly. Despite the trouble with Ellie, right now was the best she'd felt in nearly a week. She wasn't exactly sure which Alison she was going to have walk back through the door today. She hadn't expected this one, but she was glad it was the one she got.

The laughter died down and they stayed quiet for a minute. "Hey Ali?" She broke the silence. The blonde looked back in her direction. "I'm glad you're back," Emily smiled. She didn't just mean from New York, but in general. She wanted to keep this version of Alison- the one that could be nice and helpful, like she actually cared about someone other than herself.

"Me too," Alison admitted. "You're a much better roommate than Hanna."

They shared a laugh at that. It was good to be back on track. There were a lot of obstacles ahead, but also plenty to look forward to. There was Thanksgiving, Christmas, the Hastings departure, and most important... she was finally going to get to sleep in an actual bed again.

—

A/N - Well, Emily survived the weekend! Hope the chapter was worth the wait. Looking forward to hearing what you guys think!

Also anyone else watching Cruel Summer? I said that I would never watch another Freeform, but have been enjoying it.

Take care and hope everyone stays well! Thanks!