A/N - I know! I know! It's been too long. Thank you for all of the nice reviews on the last chapter. Your continued interest in the story and awesome patience is why I'm able to stick with this. Life is crazier than ever and I did not want to keep you waiting as long as I did.
Nice long chapter ahead that takes place over the Holidays. I hope you enjoy!
—
Alison swiftly spun the ribbon around the package and tied a perfect bow on top of it. She took a minute to admire her work before passing it over to Emily.
"Another one for Ellie," she said when Emily took it.
Emily eyed the gift. The wrapping was crisp, with the corners folded and tucked in completely straight lines. She had a gold and pink bow wrapped around it that was knotted beautifully. The gift looked like it was out of a magazine… just like all of the others that Alison had done.
"Did you go to Camp Elf or something?" She side-eyed the blonde.
Alison tilted her head in confusion. "What?" She laughed.
"All of the presents that you wrapped look perfect and mine are…" She held up the last gift that she had completed for Liam. She hadn't measured enough paper for it and on the bottom there was about a centimeter of the gift exposed where she taped it. She doubted that Liam would notice, but still.
Alison laughed again at the sight of Emily's wrapped gift. She reached for another one of the toys that they had bought and laid out the paper on the floor to measure it. "I guess I went to Camp Jessica DiLaurentis," she shrugged. "Activities at said camp included decorating your house so that it looked perfect and impressed your neighbors, volunteering to wrap gifts at the elderly home for appearances sake, and polishing off two bottles of wine on Christmas Day before it gets dark out."
Emily wasn't sure if she was supposed to laugh or not. "So… will you be singing Christmas carols after all that wine?" If that was what Alison had planned, she hoped that it would at least be entertaining.
"No," Alison laughed. "The only real Camp Jessica activity I participated in was the gift wrapping. I went to the nursing home with her every year."
"Wow," Emily cocked a brow. "That was… nice of you." She'd seen compassion in Alison before, but she struggled to imagine a teenaged Alison in a room full of old people.
"Volunteer hours," the blonde shrugged. "I needed them for National Honor Society and she needed them for The Junior League."
Aha. That made more sense, Emily thought.
"I got really good at wrapping gifts because I had to do like a hundred of them every year," Alison explained. "It didn't feel festive, though. This year is probably the most festive I've ever felt."
Emily smiled. "I have that effect on people."
Alison glance over at her and she returned the smile before going back to the gift that she was wrapping. "Have you always been this into the Christmas spirit?" She asked.
"Pretty much," Emily told her with a nod. "My family was really close when I was younger. Plus since I was an only child all the focus was on me. There wasn't really anyone to compete with."
"I always got more presents than Jason," Alison smiled a little devilishly to herself.
"It wasn't just that. I mean like decorating, baking cookies, singing Christmas carols… it was stuff that my parents did with just me."
"Must have been nice…" The blonde didn't sound bitter, but her voice sounded a little bit far off. It was clear that she hadn't really experience much of the same.
"But then everything changed when my dad had to go overseas to the army…" She'd only been seven when the planes crashed into the World Trade Center, but even at that young age, she knew by the way her parents were acting that their lives were about to change. Her mother and father would have conversations late into the night with hushed voices. Emily heard the word deployment one night and knew it was only a matter of time until her dad would be shipping out.
The first few months were easier than she thought. Her father didn't go straight to the war. He went to training first. During that time, her mother seemed determined to run the household by herself. She took Emily to school everyday, worked full-timel, and made a home cooked meal for dinner. She kept the house clean, attended PTA meetings, and sat in the front row cheering for Emily during her first swim meet. She filled the role of both mother and father and despite missing her dad, Emily's home life was largely uninterrupted.
It was only when training ended and his unit was deployed to Afghanistan that things at home began to change. Every night, her mother would watch the news reports of casualties on both sides. It didn't take long for her rock-like exterior to begin to crack.
Even as a third-grader, Emily knew that she had to go stay strong for her mother. She missed her father, so much, but she tried to hide it. She tried not to think about the way that he made her laugh, or helped her with her history homework. It crept up on her sometimes, like when she was swimming lap after lap at swim practice and she was alone with her thoughts. It helped that he could call semi-regularly. When it came time for Thanksgiving, he was supposed to come home, but two days before, fighting broke out in the area that he was stationed. They didn't hear from him for nearly a week, and she caught her mother crying several times before he finally called to let them know that he was alright.
When Christmas came, Emily remembered being so scared that he wouldn't make it back for that holiday too, but he did. She ran up to him when he walked out of the plane and hugged him tight. She told him that she didn't know if she was going to get to see him and he promised her that he'd never miss a Christmas. It was a promise that he never broke.
"Christmas was the one time of the year that my dad would always make it back from being deployed overseas," she told the blonde.
Alison let Emily's words sink in. She knew a little bit about Emily's father from their conversations in the past. She knew what an important figure he was for her. "I bet that was really special for you," she gave a small smile and a nod.
"Yeah, it was like the one time that things felt normal. My family felt complete because we were all together and happy," Emily explained.
Another silence hung in the hair for a few moments. "I'm sure you miss it…" Alison empathized.
Emily nodded. "I do… for sure." She took a breath and looked around the living room. The tree that they had picked up a few weeks back was in the corner. It had been fully decorated with the ornaments that her mother had brought up from the basement. They'd let Ellie hang most of them, so the ornaments were spaced completely random and unbalanced. But it was their tree, the one that the four of them had picked out together. And it was special. Just like sitting on the floor wrapping gifts with Alison was too for some reason. "I think it taught me how to make the holidays special no matter the circumstances," she told the blonde.
"So Christmas doesn't require multiple bottles of wine to be merry?" Alison squinted at her with a little smile.
"Well that might depend on your definition of merry…" Emily answered. She wasn't totally sure if the blonde was joking or not. "My mom likes wine though, so I'm sure we can incorporate some of your family's traditions."
Alison snorted out a laugh in response. "I think I like your version of Christmas better," she shrugged.
"Yeah?" Emily perked with a smile. It would be nice to know wthat Alison wasn't just going along with all of the holiday cheer. That she was actually enjoying herself.
"Maybe," Alison smirked. But Emily could tell that she'd meant it. "I'm going to need you to pick up the slack with your wrapping job though. These are all supposed to have come from the North Pole and yours are looking a little below standard."
Emily's mouth gaped at the dig. "I thought I told you that Christmas wasn't all about the gifts?"
"Fine," Alison shrugged. "Guess I'll take yours back then."
"Wha- no," Emily immediately objected. Her initial reaction was surprise. They definitely hadn't talked about exchanging gifts… though Emily had bought her something too. She hadn't been looking for a gift. It kind of found her. It was a little odd how easy it had been to find Alison a gift, especially considering she still had no idea what to get Sabrina. She was looking forward to giving it to her, though, and she wondered what Alison had gotten for her. Sure, Christmas wasn't just about gifts, but she was still allowed to get excited about them. "I have something for you too," she confided.
"Oh yeah?" Alison's brows raised slightly. She had a little smile, and Emily could see her dimples threatening to show on her cheek. The brunette nodded to confirm and Alison flicked her brows in response. "I guess I'll have to stay on your nice list then."
Emily's eyes widened slightly. Would the alternative have been… the naughty list? She cleared her throat quietly at the thought and let another silence pass over.
She thought of something else that she'd been meaning to ask. "Do we have a plan for Christmas Eve yet?" Christmas was about a week away and they hadn't discussed any specific plans. The Hastings were gone, so that took a lot of pressure off of doing anything grand. Emily knew that Toby's family was planning to come over around lunchtime on Christmas, but that was about it. Her Mother had called the night before to make plans and Emily had been meaning to get with Alison about it.
The blonde thought briefly, but shrugged. "Watch the Grinch?" She suggested.
Emily made a mental note because she was always down to watch a Christmas movie. "Would it be okay if my mom came over?" She asked.
"Oh course," Alison nodded with a smile. "Should we plan to make something special for dinner or…?"
"Oh no, I'm sure she'll bring something," Emily laughed a little. There wasn't an occasion when her mother didn't bring food to a social event. "She usually makes empanadas on Christmas Eve if you like that?"
"Sure," Alison shrugged a shoulder agreeably. "Family recipe?" She asked.
"Mhm," Emily nodded with a smile. She loved it when her mom made those. She'd made them every Christmas Eve since Emily was a kid.
"How come you've never made them?" Alison asked.
"I uh…" She grimaced in memory of the one and only time she'd attempted the empanadas. It was years ago, but it was more of a disaster than her wrapping job tonight.
Alison snickered across from her and grabbed some tape to stick on another neatly wrapped gift.
"I'll call my mom to tomorrow and let her know that she can come," Emily nodded. There was another thing that she figured she may as well mention now while she was at it. "She might want me to go to church with her on Christmas Eve. Would you mind watching the kids if I went with her? It's early, like five, so we can have a full night after."
Alison looked up at her. "Or we could all go together?" She suggested.
"You… go to church?" Emily's brows pinched together in question.
"I mean, not really anymore… my family used to go on Christmas Eve every year too though."
"I didn't know that." Emily was constantly finding out new things about the other woman. "Does your Dad want to come too then?"
"No," Alison shook her head. "We can just see him on Christmas night. That's enough."
"Okay," Emily shrugged. "So the five of us will go to church? You think the kids will cooperate."
"They'll be fine," Alison told her.
Emily wasn't so sure. Getting a three year old and an almost-one year old to sit down for any length of time was a struggle. No matter the possible challenges, she couldn't help but smile. They were spending Christmas together as a makeshift family. She'd missed the blonde and the kids during Thanksgiving when they were apart. This holiday season, they would be together with the kids and she had a feeling it would be one to remember.
"Are you seeing… anyone… else for Christmas?" Alison asked, tearing Emily from her thoughts.
"Huh?" She tilted her head at the question. She wasn't sure exactly what Alison was asking until it hit her: Sabrina. "Oh- no. It's… just us."
Alison smiled, pleased with that response.
Emily had considered trying to spend some time with Sabrina on the holiday, but in the end had decided against it. She wasn't sure what the future held, but spending time away with Sabrina didn't feel like the right thing to do this first Christmas. She wanted them all to have a great day together and hopefully start to build memories that were theirs.
—
A week later, Emily found herself trying to wrangle a squirming Liam to clip a mini bow tie onto his button down shirt. The outfit definitely hadn't been her idea. After she and Alison had made plans to go to church with Emily's mom on Christmas Eve, new outfits for the kids seemed to appear overnight. It was clear that Alison didn't miss an opportunity to go shopping.
Once she got the bow tie clipped, she inspected the outfit. It had red pants with matching suspenders. Emily had initially assumed that Liam would pull them right off, but so far so good. The red bow tie rested on a sleek looking green, red, and gold plaid shirt. It was a little bit much, but definitely cute. There was one final piece that completed the outfit. Emily glanced at the red newspaper-boy hat sitting on the dresser. That was the only part of the outfit that she wasn't so sure about. She put it on the baby and his squirming intensified with the intrusion of his personal head space. She picked up the hat and threw it on the chair. Definitely over-kill. He looked just fine without it. As she was was putting on his brown baby loafers, she heard a knock downstairs at the door- likely her mother.
The door opened, and Emily heard Alison and Ellie greeting Pam and wishing her a Merry Christmas. She smiled. Both Ellie and Alison had been in good spirits all day. They'd spent about three hours together making Christmas cookies. Emily had snuck a taste afterwards while Alison was getting Ellie cleaned up and she could confirm, they were delicious. She picked Liam up and headed towards the stairs.
"Are those your empanadas?" Emily heard Alison ask in an excited tone. Oh geez, Emily thought, here we go again with the sweetheart act. The blonde hadn't been half that happy about the dinner when Emily had brought it up the weekend before.
"They are!" Pam confirmed, returning Alison's excitement as if feeding off of her energy. "They're all prepped and just need to be cooked when we get back from church service. It won't take long at all."
"I can't wait," Alison told her. "Do they need to be refrigerated? I can make room for you?"
"That would be great!" Pam told her.
Emily rolled her eyes from the top of the stairs at the exchange and started her way down with Liam in her arms. By the time that she got to the kitchen, Ellie was pulling at her mother's shirt. "We made cookies today for Santa," she told Pam happily. They hadn't really figured out what the kids would call Pam yet. She obviously wasn't their grandma- they already had two of those- but Aunt Pam seemed strange too considering they called Emily their aunt.
"Did you?" Pam asked with the kind of exaggerated excitement reserved for three year olds. Ellie excitedly nodded her head to confirm, and Pam spoke up again. "Did Aunt Em-" she started, but stopped when she saw Liam in Emily's arms. "Oh, how precious!" She exclaimed.
Emily set him down on the floor in a standing position and held his hands in the air to keep him steady. Ellie went running to her brother. "He has a bow!" She pointed at the bowtie.
"He does," Alison smiled. "How about we go put on your pretty dress too?" There was a dress that coordinated nearly perfectly with Liam's outfit waiting for her upstairs. Ellie nodded and moved past Emily and Liam to head towards the stairs. Alison trailed her, but stopped suddenly in front of Emily. "Where's his hat?" She tilted her head in confusion.
"In his room," Emily arched a brow at her.
"Why isn't it on his head?" She asked.
"You're lucky that thing isn't in the garbage can," she retorted, slightly amused. If Alison thought that Emily was going to let Liam out of the house in that hat, she was crazy.
"Em, it's a part of his outfit," she put her hand on her hip.
"He's going to church service, Ali," Emily told her pointedly. "Not selling newspapers on the corner."
Alison's mouth gaped at Emily's comment. She stared at the brunette for a moment, trying to come up with a response, but Ellie's voice rang through the room instead. "Aaaannnn Aliiiiii, come on!"
Emily raised her brows and she the blonde huffed past her to catch up with the little girl. When Alison was out of sight, Emily let out a little chuckle, pleased with her victory.
"Emily!" Her mother scolded. "Be nice."
"I am," she pushed her brows together and objected. "That hat made Liam look like he was straight out of the 1930s."
"I bet it was cute," Pam shrugged.
"That's enough from you," Emily rolled her eyes. "You're supposed to be on my side here."
Pam shrugged and Emily shook her head. She'd heard enough. Pam was under Alison's spell and there was likely not much that she could do to change that.
They left to go to the church about a half hour later. Alison had found the hat tucked away in Liam's bedroom and snuck it back on him. Several people at the church stopped and commented on how cute the baby looked, so maybe Alison had been right all along. She didn't need to tell the blonde that, though. Plus, she had a little surprise of her own to get back at Alison for that. Overall the kids did fine at the service. Emily had to walk Liam to the back foyer when he started whining, but it only lasted about 5 minutes. They had brought some picture books for Ellie and she had sat next Alison paging through them. She was quiet for the most part except when she would have a question. She would get to her knees in the pew and whisper in Alison's ear, which Emily found was more cute than disruptive anyway.
After the service, Pam complimented both Emily and Alison on the behavior of the children. It was nice to get some good feedback for once. They were both so used to the Hastings constant pressure. The last few weeks had been a nice reprieve, but they both knew that the family would be back in just a few days. They were trying to enjoy this time alone while it lasted.
When they got back, Pam popped the empanadas in the oven. Emily took Liam upstairs to change him into his Christmas pajamas. As cute as his outfit was, he was at the age where he was getting more of his food on himself, the table, and the floor than actually in his mouth. He wore a bib, but that didn't seem to prevent messes. Of course when they came down the stairs, Ellie announced that she wanted her Christmas pajamas on too, so Emily made the trek back upstairs and changed her from her dress.
Alison was setting dishes on the table, but she smiled when Ellie came bounding into the room wearing a set of pajamas that matched her baby brother. Both pajamas were green and had print of Santa in his sleigh being guided by the reindeer all around it. The feet of the pajamas had a large print of rudolf, complete with a little red Pom Pom at the tip of the toes as if it was his red nose. Emily had scooped them up at the store the minute that she saw them.
"Those are cute," Alison commented.
Emily's lips curved into a smirk that could have rivaled some of Alison's. "Glad you think so…"
Alison pushed her brows together. "Yeah…?" She tilted her head, not really sure where Emily was going with that.
Emily took a few more steps into the kitchen. She slid the door to her bedroom aside and went in. She had told Alison about the kids pajamas the day that she bought them, but there was a little more to it than just that. She grabbed a box with a clear top and walked back into the kitchen to hand it to the blonde. "I got you your very own set too," she smiled innocently.
Alison blinked at her several times without making any moves to take the box. She opened her mouth, likely ready to make a snarky comment, but thought better of it given that the kids and Emily's mom were in the room. She switched gears and curved her lips into a tight, forced smile. "That was nice, but I think they'd look much better on you actually," she told Emily.
"Oh don't worry," Emily smiled innocently. "I have my own pair too." She pushed the box forward closer to the blonde.
Alison's smile faltered and her eyes widened at the news. "I'm sorry, what?" She asked.
"I have a pair too," Emily repeated.
"So we're all going to be… matching?" The blonde asked. Her face looked pained at the realization.
"Mhm," Emily confirmed with a nod, smile still affixed. Alison stared at her for several seconds, during which time Emily was doing everything in her power to not burst out laughing. She knew that the blonde would hate the idea of matching pajamas, so she had waited to bring it up. Now seemed like the perfect time. She knew that Alison wouldn't object given what a suck up she'd been in front of Pam.
"Thanks, I'll… put it on after dinner." Alison reached out and took the box. "I guess," she added, even though it was clear that she was stuck.
"Perfect," Emily said triumphantly. She was slowly, but surely winning over Alison's Christmas spirit, even if she had to force it in.
But what she didn't know was that the happiness that she felt from Christmas spirit was about to be bested by another feeling of happiness.
After they all ate their empanadas, and Alison begrudgingly changed into the themed pajamas along with Emily, the five of them went into the living room to watch a Christmas movie before it was time to start getting the kids to bed. Ellie sat between Emily and Pam on the couch, watching the movie closely. Liam wasn't so much into the movie. He had gotten a second wind after dinner and started squirming all over the place, trying to get out of his high chair. Alison sat on the floor in the living room with him to let him crawl around and tire himself out some before bed.
After the movie, Pam stood up, ready to head home. "I'll let you all get settled down before bed," she told them.
"What about the cookies?" Ellie asked, jumping up from the couch too. Pam had told the little girl earlier that she'd help get Santa's plate of cookies all set up.
"We can do that before I go," Pam smiled at the toddler.
"Here, let me show you where they are," Emily followed them into the kitchen, leaving Alison and Liam in the living room. She had tucked the cookies far into the corner of the counter where Ellie couldn't access them at will. She grabbed a plate from the cabinet and was a beat away from opening the cookie container, but she stopped suddenly when she heard a loud screech in the other room. The noise had come from Alison, and while it didn't exactly sound scared, it still made Emily's head snap in the direction of the living room.
"Emily!"
She couldn't see the blonde from where she was standing, but when she heard her name she immediately moved into the direction of the voice. She wasn't sure what she was expecting, she'd been gone for maybe forty seconds. "What's wro-" she cut herself off when she realized why Alison was calling her. "Oh my god…" Her eyes went wide.
Alison was still where Emily had left her, but Liam was about three feet away. He was standing by himself on his own two feet and taking tiny unsteady hobbles in Emily's direction.
Emily knelt onto the floor and held her hands out. "Come on, you can do it…" she called out to him.
Liam stopped and glanced towards Emily briefly at her words. He looked around the room, wavering slightly and unsure of what to do next. This was unchartered territory for him. He was able to pull himself into a standing position if he had something to support him, like a chair or the coffee table, and if someone was holding both of his hands from above he would move his legs off the floor and take a few steps. He had never gotten this far by himself without holding on to something.
"Go ahead, Liam. Go to Aunt Em," Alison encouraged.
Emily motioned for him with her hands again to recapture Liam's attention. He looked back towards her, his little breaths quick and shallow, and took another hobble in her direction. Emily smiled and continued to coax him. She was trying to keep her voice steady and calm but inside her heart was pounding. These were Liam's first steps by himself. This was HUGE.
Liam took two, really maybe one and half, more steps before tilting sideways and plopping back on the floor. He looked back and forth between his Aunts, unsure how to act. It seemed like he had even surprised himself by his actions. Both women smiled, not letting him get scared at having fallen, and cheered for him.
"Way to go, buddy!" Emily walk over and bent down to pick him up. She swung him in her arms and bounced him on her hip.
"You did it!" Alison walked over to them. She was smiling harder than Emily had ever seen her.
"He can walk!?" Ellie came running in to join them.
Emily laughed at the reaction. She noted her mother standing in the doorway and watching the scene with a smile her face. She didn't need the older woman to say anything, the pride was evident. She took a moment and turned towards Alison. The two women shared a quick moment before Alison answered the little girl's excited question.
Of all the things that she thought that Christmas Eve would bring, Liam's first steps hadn't been one of them. It brought a new wave of excitement throughout the house.
After Pam left, both kids crashed pretty quickly, but Emily was still buzzing. She walked into the living where Alison was sitting, trying to keep her footsteps quiet and even as she balanced two glasses of red wine in her hands.
"One for you…" she extended the glass to the blonde.
"Thanks," Alison smiled. She took the
glass from Emily and immediately took a sip. "Mmm this is good. Your Mom has good taste."
Emily side-eyed her as she sat down on the opposite side of the couch. She shook her head and took a sip of her own glass. It actually was pretty good… but still. "She's gone, Ali. You can quit sucking up now."
The blonde furrowed her brows. "I'm not sucking up."
Emily snorted at the response because yeah right. "You totally were sucking up to her tonight. And the last time she came to the house. And the time before that. I just can't figure out exactly why."
"I've always been good at getting on adults' good sides," Alison told her.
Emily couldn't help but smile at the phrasing because they were thirty-years-old and definitely adults too, but she still knew what the blonde meant. That being said, she didn't quite buy the explanation. She had seen the way that Alison spoke to other older adults, her Aunt and Uncle in particular, and her tone wasn't always meant to charm.
"When I want to," Alison added when she noticed Emily's skepticism.
Emily took another sip of her wine and considered the blonde's words. "And why do you want to with her?" She finally asked. She definitely appreciated that Alison was pleasant around her mother, but it had struck her as odd from the beginning.
"I don't know," Alison shrugged at the question and swirled the glass around. Emily watched her, but stayed silent, letting the silence hang in the air. "I guess I know how important she is to you… so I wanted her to have a good night." She shrugged again for good measure.
Emily smiled at the response. She liked this side of Alison. She always had. "I think she did," she told the blonde with confidence.
"Yeah?" A pleased smile found its way onto Alison's face.
"Oh for sure," Emily stressed. "Did you see how excited she was when Liam took his first steps. She had a great night." It had been been a great night for Emily too. She was shocked in the best way when she entered the living room to see Liam walking. She had thought that they were months away from that still. "Did you know he was that close to walking?" She asked, wondering if the blonde had been as surprised as her.
"I knew that he was close…" Alison told her. "I could tell that he was getting stronger and maybe more confident. I definitely didn't think tonight was the night though."
"Well it made tonight really special," Emily smiled. It had been amazing to see such a monumental moment in the baby's life. "I'll never forget that."
"Well speaking of…" Alison set her drink down on the coffee table and hopped off the couch. She walked over to the tree and picked up a gift. It was small, but similar to all of the other gifts that she had put underneath the tree, this one was perfectly wrapped with a velvet red bow on top. She extended it to Emily.
Emily looked at the gift and tilted her head. "Is that for me?" She asked.
"No it's for Rudolph. Can you go put it with the cookies and carrots we left in the kitchen?" Alison rolled her eyes. "Yeah, it's for you."
"Oh… well I- I got you something too. You don't want to give it to me tomorrow?" She asked. She felt her cheeks heating up, and she wasn't exactly sure why. Maybe it was because she was slightly nervous to give the blonde her gift. She wasn't sure exactly what the other woman would think of it. She hadn't worried too much because she assumed that the kids would have most of their attention on Christmas, but here, alone on Christmas Eve… with just the two of them? This felt a little different.
Alison shook her head. "I doubt we'll have much time for anything tomorrow with a baby who just figured out that he can walk and a three year old tearing through all of her new toys." She extended the gift to Emily again, but this time closer.
Emily took the gift, not wanting to seem unappreciative by letting it hang in the air for too long. She ran her hands over the paper and the bow, stalling a little. She was definitely curious about the gift. They hadn't spoken about what either of them wanted, so it could really be anything inside of the box. She took another glance at Alison. The blonde had sat back down on the couch, but was looking at her expectantly. She took a breath and started to peel back the paper.
It didn't reveal much.
Once she got all of the paper off, she was left with just a small flat box, slightly bigger than the size of her hand. There wasn't a store name on the box, so she still had no clue what she was going to find. She swallowed silently and pulled the top off of the box. Inside, she found a gold bracelet, resting on top of a thin cushion. The bracelet was made of a mostly thin chain, but in the middle the was a thinker rectangular section with an emerald stone inside. "Oh!" She liked it, for sure, but she wasn't sure exactly what reaction to give. It wasn't like they'd ever exchanged gifts before and she wasn't sure what reaction Alison actually wanted. "Wow," She gave the blonde a big, genuine smile.
"Take it out," Alison prompted her.
"Okay…." Emily set the box down on her lap and lifted the jewelry from the box. She ran her hands along the chain until she got to the stone. It wasn't until she rolled it over that she noticed there was something engraved in cursive on the back of it. I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all year. She read the words out loud and looked back at Alison. "I like that," she told her. December had been the first month that she had finally felt comfortable living in her best friend's house with his kids. It was the first full month that she felt like she and Alison were on the same page and finally at peace with one another. She knew that she couldn't feel this way all of the time, but the happiness and memories could carry her through the tough times if she called on them.
Alison smiled, pleased at the reaction. "It's Dickens," she told the brunette.
Emily pushed her brows together. That was an author, right? She was a little bit embarrassed that she didn't know for sure. She had always been better at science than liberal arts…
Alison chucked. "You've seen A Christmas Carol, right?" She asked.
"Yeah…"
"It's based off of a book. Charles Dickens wrote it," Alison told her.
"Oh right," Emily nodded. She was sure she'd heard that. Once. Maybe.
"Anyway, it's one of my favorite lines from the book. I was reading it again recently and it made me think of you," Alison continued. She didn't say it very loud or matter of fact. She was actually looking down at her nails, almost like she was reluctant to share the information.
Emily took in the blonde. "Do you… read that book a lot?" She asked.
Alison shrugged in a way that basically confirmed that she did. "Dickens is my favorite author, so…"
"And your favorite book is A Christmas Carol?" Emily asked. It was probably a classic so that made sense, but she also knew that Alison read a lot. It was something that Emily had grown to like about her. It added to her depth. She knew way too many girls that had their faces pressed close to their cellphone screens all day. Alison pressing her nose into a book was a welcomed change.
"No, actually my favorite is the one that basically no one likes," Alison told her.
Emily glanced around the room trying to think on her feet. Surely she could think of one Charles Dickens book, right? She'd read him in high school. Or at the very least, she's read the Cliff Notes. "Um…. Two Cities?" She asked.
"A Tale of Two Cities?" Alison raised a brow. "Definitely not." She took a sip of her wine.
Emily breathed out a small laugh nervously. She wouldn't be able to remember what that book was about if her life depended on it, but something about it clearly offended the blonde. She decided not to try to make any more guesses. "Which one then?" She asked.
"Great Expectations," Alison told her.
Emily considered the answer briefly. "What's that one about?" She asked.
Alison narrowed her eyes at the brunette. "I can't tell you that," she smirked.
"Why not?"
"You'll have to read it for yourself," she answered. She gave a final amused shrug and took a sip of her wine.
Emily considered it. "Maybe I will," she raised her brows. She hadn't read a novel in years, but that was beside the point.
"It's on that book shelf," Alison tilted her head towards the corner of the living room.
Emily stared at the books that were stacked up. She wasn't sure which one it was, but none of them looked slim. Maybe she could read a summery online. It wasn't like there was going to be a test… was there?
"Are you going to give me mine?"
Alison's voice tore Emily from her thoughts. She turned back towards the blonde, noting that her expression had shifted. "Hm?" Emily asked.
"Do I get my gift too?" Alison asked. She batted her lashes expectantly.
"Oh," Emily laughed at the antics. "Yeah, of course…" She got up and walked to the entertainment center that the tv rested on top of. There were several drawers that were just tall enough to be out of Ellie's reach. Emily opened one and extended her arm towards the back to grab the small box. Once she found it, she walked to it over and handed it to the blonde.
"Nice hiding spot," Alison laughed.
"You didn't find it, did you you," Emily quipped with a brow raised.
Alison noted the gift. "And perfectly wrapped…"
"Practice makes perfect," Emily smiled.
Alison snorted, "And so do professionals."
Busted. Emily definitely had taken the store up on their offer to wrap the gift for her. Without waiting, Alison peeled the paper off to unwrap the gift. She wasn't slow and deliberate like Emily had been. She tore the paper off and immediately moved to open the small box. Emily felt her nerves rise up again. "It's not much-" she blurted, stopping the blonde's actions. "I just thought of you when I saw it. I don't know why. I don't even know if it's something that you'd wear. I kept the receipt. So if you hate it you can just- you can get something that you actually do like. Or you could-"
"Geez!" Alison breathed out, stopping Emily quick and nervous rambles almost immediately. "Way to set the bar high on expectations."
Emily calmed down and took a breath. She felt her cheeks heating up again, this time blaming the wine. "Sorry," she shook her head slightly. at herself. She had a habit of rambling endlessly when she was tipsy, or nervous, or both.
Alison moved back to the gift and took the lid off of the box. "Oh!" She repeated Emily's sentiment from earlier. Her eyes widened at the contents and she reached inside. She pulled out one of the two earrings that were inside the box and inspected it. "These are really pretty," she said softly.
The earrings that Emily had picked out shined underneath the lamp next to the blonde, showing off the two different shades of blue. Emily hadn't planned to buy Alison jewelry- she hadn't planned what to get her at all- but when she passed these dangle earrings, the blonde was the first person that came to mind. They had two different shades of blue at the drop, one a calm light blue and the other a deeper shade just below navy. They earrings had reminded Emily of the different shades of Alison's eyes. When she saw them she just thought that they would look really nice on her. "You like them?" Emily asked curiously.
"Yeah, definitely," Alison told her, enthusiasm genuine. She continued to inspect it. "I've never seen a design like this. They look like different color waves."
"Maybe that was why I liked them so much," Emily commented. She did like the ocean after all. She didn't want to get too deep, but the display had also detailed something about feel-good ions and that the earrings promoted hope and peace. She liked the idea of that after the year they'd had. If Alison liked them because she thought they were pretty, Emily was fine with that. "I'm glad you like them too," she told her with a nod.
A little silence fell over them after that. Emily glanced at her new bracelet. Was it weird that they had both gotten each other jewelry? She'd been so much at a loss for what to get Sabrina that she'd settled on a massage certificate at a studio downtown. This gift had come so easily. Had it been the same for Alison? Emily hadn't seen a store name anywhere on the bracelet or the box. Did she have it made or something? She looked back towards the blonde. She had taken the other earring out and held them both up to
get a good look at both in their entirety. It made Emily smile. She was glad that her gift seemed like a success. Alison turned her attention back to the brunette. She smiled back, dimples pressing into her cheeks, causing Emily's heart rate to pick up. "So what… now?" She asked.
Emily swallowed thickly, not sure how to take that. Tonight had been special. Her heart felt full and her stomach was about doing flip flops. There were times, like right now, where she struggled to be alone with Alison. It brought her back five years ago when she knew that she shouldn't- that she couldn't- do something that they couldn't take back. And now, just like then, she couldn't be blinded by how attracted she was to the blonde in this moment. She couldn't take an extra second to marvel at the way that her eyes twinkled when the light from Christmas tree landed on them just right. She couldn't let her eyes linger on Alison's lips long enough to determine if she was using a new lip stain or if the wine had colored them. She couldn't let herself slip. Because they'd gone to the place of no return once and had there had not been a tragic accident, they wouldn't even be in this room together right now.
"We… uh…" Emily looked around the room, trying to think of anything but the woman across from her. "Watch a Christmas movie?" She asked.
The smile that had been fixed on Alison's face morphed. It didn't take a quick fall, but within a few seconds, she'd retained a more neutral expression. "Okay sure," she nodded.
Emily pressed her lips together and nodded as well. She picked up the remote and flipped on the cable guide. "Any requests?"
"Whatever you want," Alison told her softly with a shrug. She stood up and grabbed a blanket before taking a few steps to make her way to the opposite couch. She spread her legs out into a reclining position and covered her body to make herself more comfortable.
Emily glanced over at the blonde one last time briefly before zeroing back in on the list. She had no idea how many she'd scrolled through. She wasn't really reading the titles anyway. She finally settled on The Santa Claus 2. Probably one of the worst choices. It served its purpose, though, and they watched it together in silence until it was time to say their goodnights.
—
Christmas morning was just as hectic as they had predicted it would be. Emily heard Liam crying on the monitor at 6am on the dot. She tried to give it a minute, but when he didn't quiet down, she pulled herself out of bed and headed for the stairs. She got upstairs to the bedroom fairly quickly, but it looked like Alison had already beaten her to it. She took a moment to watch the blonde as she bounced the baby to try to soothe him. She had a robe on, but Emily noted that she had actually worn the pajamas that she gave her to bed underneath of it.
"Hey," Emily finally greeted.
Alison turned around with Liam in her arms. "I didn't hear you coming," she said, clearly surprised at Emily's presence.
Emily walk over to them and rubbed Liam's back gently. "I think we had the same idea."
Alison huffed out a little laugh. "Try to get him back down to delay Christmas morning?" She asked.
Emily laughed at the comment. She hadn't exactly meant that, just that they both had jumped right up when Liam woke up. Before she could respond, though, a door in the hallway opened and a pair of feet went running through the hall.
"Aunt Ali!" Ellie's voice came through the hallway. "Aunt Ali?" She said again.
"No such luck," Alison joked. They obviously weren't making it back to bed.
It sounded like Ellie was down towards Alison's room, so Emily took a few steps back and stuck her head out in the hallway. "In here, sweetie," she said.
Ellie came racing towards her little brother's room. She stopped when she got inside and looked up at her aunts. "Did Santa come?" She asked excitedly. She was moving her feet like she was running, but her body stayed in place. Emily wasn't sure how any human could have that kind of energy immediately after waking up.
"I bet he did," Alison smiled at her. "Give me a minute to change your brother and we'll go downstairs."
"No! I want to see now!" Ellie took off into the hallway.
"Hey," Emily spin around and tailed the little girl. "No steps by yourself, remember?"
Ellie moved her feet in place excitedly again as she waited for Emily at the top. Once in arms length, Ellie grabbed her hand and pulled her down the steps with her. "Come on!"
Emily did as the little girl asked. Her excitement was so pure and it reminded Emily of so much of herself. She'd done the same thing to her parents every year on Christmas morning. It was a small miracle that Emily got out of bed in time to get to school each morning, but on Christmases, she was up with the sun rise.
Eventually Alison brought Liam down and they let Ellie get to work on opening her gifts. She tore through them quickly. In the time that it took Liam to drink his morning bottle, Ellie had gotten the paper off all of her gifts. And there had been a lot of them. Emily knew that she and Alison had overdone it on the presents. They'd gotten her dozens of toys, including a new bike, books, and (another) dollhouse. They'd also stuffed two full stockings above the fireplace for her with stickers, crayons, and little snacks. They said that they wouldn't do it again next year. This was the child's first Christmas without her parents, and while they knew that a truckload of gifts wasn't going to make things better, it would still make the little girl happy in the moment.
Once Ellie was finished unwrapping her own gifts, Emily and Alison let her unwrap most of Liam's for him. He helped with a few. Occasionally, he was crawl over to her and pull some paper and try to crawl away with it. They'd gotten a few less gifts for him since his birthday was just a couple of days away. He didn't notice now, but he'd soon learn that having a birthday so close to Christmas wasn't always the most fun thing.
After all of the gifts were unwrapped, they had a big breakfast together. Emily made chocolate chip pancakes, another Fields family tradition, which everyone ate up happily.
Around noon, Toby's dad and step mom came over toting a second round of gifts for the kids. It gave Emily and Alison some time to relax while the Ellie and Liam spent time with their grandparents. Emily joined Alison in the kitchen while the other four were occupied in the living room. The blonde was chopping some mushrooms on a cutting board when she walked in. "Prepping for dinner tonight?" Emily asked.
Alison nodded. "It always takes longer to make than I think, so I figured that I'd get everything ready."
Emily nodded. Alison's father was supposed to be joining them around five that evening for dinner. It was the first time that he would be visiting them at the house- actually it was the first time that Emily would be spending any time with him at all. She wasn't nervous because she figured that he couldn't be any worse than the Hastings, but she still wasn't sure what to expect. "What are you making again?" She asked, noting the variety o ingredients that Alison was preparing to throw in the food processor.
"Beef Wellington," the blonde answered simply.
"Sounds… fancy," Emily commented. She truly wasn't sure what that even was and made a mental note to google the dish.
Alison shrugged. "My Mom used to make it every year so… I don't know, I thought he might like it."
Her voice came through soft. Emily thought she sounded nervous, or at the very least unsure. She'd never had Beef Wellington before, but it didn't look like an easy meal to make. She hoped that Alison's father was appreciative of the work that his daughter was putting in. "It's going to be great," she encouraged with a smile. "Can I help you with anything?"
Alison looked up from the cutting board. She met Emily's eyes and gave her a grateful smile. Ultimately though, she shook her head. "Just help with the kids," she told her.
"I can do that!" Emily laughed. "Probably better than anything that you ask me in the kitchen."
"Why do you think I suggested that," Alison joked in a dry tone.
"Hey," Emily laughed. She picked up a Christmas themed dish towel and tossed it at the other woman. "Mean," she said before walking back to the living room.
Toby's father was sitting on the couch with Ellie. The two had a large picture book spread between them and the little girl was excitedly pointing at different pictures. Emily sat on the other side of Ellie. "What are we reading?" She asked.
"The dragons!" Ellie looked up at her.
"I'm finding out if Dragons Love Tacos," the older man laughed.
Emily glanced down at the book. It was a favorite in the house. Ellie requested it a lot, and it was one that Emily always had a fun time reading aloud.
"It's a secret," Ellie spoke up, pointing to the words on the page that read the same as her words.
"Did she just read that?" He asked with wide eyes.
"No," Emily shook her head with a laugh. She met eyes with Ellie. "That's just Aunt Ali's favorite part of the book, right?"
"Yeah, I want to go get her!" Ellie exclaimed as she jumped off of the couch. The little girl ran into the kitchen before Emily couch stop her.
Emily tilted her head so that she could see into the kitchen. Alison dropped the food the she was preparing onto the counter when the little girl came bounding in towards her. Ellie jumped up and Alison lifted her up in her arms while she talked excitedly. She watched Alison give the little girl a genuine, audible laugh before craning her head around and looking towards Emily in the living room. Emily tucked her lips in and chuckled when they made eye contact. She knew that she'd been given one job and had technically slipped on it, but she could also tell that Alison wasn't mad either. They shared a smile and held each other's gaze for a moment before the blonde whispered something to Ellie and put her down. Emily expected her to come back to the couch, but she got sidetracked by some of the gifts on her way.
Emily raised her brows. "Guess you'll never know the answer to Why Dragons Like Tacos," she told the older man jokingly.
"I'm sure I'll survive," He laughed before closing the book. A beat of silence passed between them before he spoke again. "You two seem to be getting on well," he commented.
Emily pushed her brows together. "Ellie and I?" She asked.
"No," he laughed. Emily looked with an even more confused expression. "I mean yes, you're doing a great job being their guardian. I was talking about with Alison, though."
Emily felt the temperature in the room heating up. She let her face fall into a more neutral expression. "Yeah we're- we've been able to…" She wasn't sure what she was trying to say. "Help each other," she finished lamely.
He studied the brunette a little more seriously. Emily tried to hold his gaze, but ultimately failed. It was crazy how much he looked like Toby right now. It brought her back to the hundreds of serious conversations that she'd had with her best friend over the years. She could never lie to him. The few times that she actually tried, he had been able to tell almost immediately. She wasn't lying right now, but she had a feeling that her response hadn't actually answered his question. After a moment, he confirmed that theory.
"So nothing… romantic?" He asked gently.
Emily released a small breath that had gotten stuck in her lungs. She tried to laugh, but it only came off as more uneasy. "No," she told him. "Just two people supporting each other." That was true. Technically. Years ago there had been something romantic… but not now. Plus she was dating someone. So no, nothing romantic.
Her eyes did linger on the other woman more often than she meant for them too, though. And they had a friendly banter that she enjoyed more than she acted like. And then there were the smiles. Emily noticed that they were both smiling more everyday. She was sure that Toby's father had noticed those things too. He knew Emily well and it would be crazy for him to miss it. He didn't call her out on any of it, though, and Emily appreciated him for that.
Especially because plenty of other awkward conversations came her way later than night thanks to a different man: Kenneth DiLaurentis.
She wasn't sure what she had initially expected out of Christmas dinner, but when she opened the door to greet Alison's stiff father later that night, she doubted that it was going to be a jolly meal. Emily had grown up feeling comfortable and warm around her own father, but it was the complete opposite with Alison's. It wasn't like he was creepy or anything. He was just cold. He spoke in short sentences throughout the meal and hardly acknowledged the kids.
"What do you think?" Alison asked her father at one point mid-meal. She was referring to the dinner that she cooked, which Emily personally thought was delicious. She'd never had beef cooked like that before.
"It's good," her father said with a nod. He took his knife and cut himself off another bite, ending the sentence there.
Just good? Emily thought to her herself. That was it? She felt like Alison wanted more of an answer than good. She deserved more of an answer than that. After watching all of the work that went in, she was super appreciative of the meal. The blonde had worked hard and it showed by how tasty it was.
Alison looked back at him. "I just thought I'd make it because you know… Mom used to every year and-"
"I know that. It's good." He interrupted, repeating his earlier sentiment.
Emily was starting to see why Alison had such a hard demeanor sometimes. She probably had to build a thick skin living in the DiLaurentis house. The meal was quiet for a few moments. The kids were at the table too. Usually during mealtime they were more spirited. Ellie would ramble on about everything from the flowers in the yard to why fruit loops were her favorite cereal, while Liam would bang his fists into the high chair tray and play with his food. They both stayed quiet though, clearly feeding off of the atmosphere.
"Have you met with your editor recently?" Ken spoke up and asked Alison towards the end of the meal.
Emily kept her head down at the question. It was abrupt. He had hardly spoken to Alison for the majoring of the meal and he hadn't addressed Emily personally at all. She raised her gaze slightly and saw Alison pushing at the remnants of food on her plate with her fork. Emily looked back down at her own food to stay out of the equation.
"No," Alison finally spoke up. "I haven't."
"And why not?" Her father pressed.
Alison sighed and shook her head slightly. "We don't have any reason to… nothing has changed." Her voice didn't come out as frustrated or annoyed like it did with other members of her family. Right now it sounded smaller and less sure.
"You've had months to work on the sequel. How could you possibly not have anything to submit?" He asked.
"It's not that easy," she shook her head again, this time more forceful. "I haven't had time."
Ken shook his head. "You don't have a job. You've had nothing but time." His tone softened, despite his words being hard.
"I do have a job" she raised a brow. "I take care of two kids everyday."
"That's not-" her father began to object, but right on cue, Liam let out a whine and began kicking around in his seat. All three adults snapped their head in his direction.
"I've got him," Emily jumped up. She released Liam's tray and scooped him up with one hand. "I think he's about ready to get cleaned up for bed." She was thankful for Liam's interruption. The conversation was making her sweat in her seat and she needed to get out of there.
"I excused?" Ellie spoke up with wide eyes.
"Yeah, go ahead in the living room and I'll put a movie on for you in a minute," Emily told her. She walked with Liam over to the sink to rinse the tray and get his bib off.
She heard Alison and her father continue talking because they were just across the room, but their voices were now lower and more tense. She sighed and sat Liam onto the counter next to the sink. She spent the next few minutes washing off the baby's hands and face before moving the silicone bib under the running water. On her way out of the kitchen, she grabbed two chocolate chip cookies and stopped in the living room to give one to Ellie and let get her settled with her movie. It didn't take long to get Liam changed into his pajamas and down to sleep. He had hardly napped today and while he hadn't gotten cranky like he sometimes did, he was yawning and clearly ready for bed.
When she returned downstairs, everyone was exactly where she'd left them. She walked slowly back towards the kitchen and her ears picked up Alison's voice. "I'm just trying to do the right thing."
"I know you are, Al." Alison's father reached across the table and put his hand on top of hers.
Emily would have thought it was a nice father and daughter moment if she hadn't been around for dinner earlier. She wasn't sure if she should join them again or not. Quite frankly she'd rather be in the living room watching the cartoon snowman that she'd put on for Ellie. She decided to stay on the outskirts of the conversation, mostly for Alison's benefit, and grabbed some of the dirty dishes off of the table to take to the sink.
"I just want what's best for you and your future," Ken continued.
"I know that," Alison sighed.
A beat passed and it seemed like all was calming down, but then Ken spoke again. "I ran into Elliott downtown last week and-"
"Oh my god," Alison cut him off and pulled her hand away. Emily's eyes widened and she was thankful that she wasn't facing them. This was the loudest that the blonde had been all evening. "I've moved on," she stressed. "So should you."
"Well he has too apparently," Ken grumbled. "He was with his new fiancé."
"Good for him," Alison said sarcastically.
"It just makes me think… what about you? What does your future look like now that you're in this position?" He asked.
Emily took a deep breath and turned around to head back over to the table. The conversation was headed towards uncomfortable territory and she wanted to be there for Alison. She quietly pulled her chair back out and sat across from the other woman.
The blonde's brows pinched together. "What do you mean? It looks the same." She told him.
Her father shook his head again. "The two of you are living together in this house in limbo. You're thirty years old. It's to time to think about getting married. How are you even supposed to find someone to date given the situation?"
"I'm not worried about that. Emily's dating someone. Doesn't really seem like the situation is preventing that," Alison rolled her eyes.
Ken turned to Emily. "And is your boyfriend… okay with you living in a house with someone else and taking care of two children that aren't yours?" He asked.
"Uhm," Emily stumbled a little at the invasiveness. She tried to keep in mind that Alison's father meant well… even if it really didn't seem like he did. "She," she stressed, "is okay with it… for now, I guess."
"Oh," Ken reacted, clearly surprised. "Well then I guess it's not… an issue for you."
Emily tilted her head because what? What did he even mean by that?
"Can we move on?" Alison quickly inserted herself and faced her father. "Please? It's Christmas."
And that was that. Emily wanted to say something to Alison's father. She wanted to stand up for herself and ask if there was something behind his comment. She was used to this type of behavior from certain people and had encountered it since her teenaged years. As she'd gotten older, her skin was thicker and her confidence in herself made her strong. But tonight, she didn't want an argument. Alison had worked hard on dinner. This conversation aside, they'd all had a great Christmas, and honestly, she didn't give a shit about what Alison's father thought of her.
Especially because, given his reaction, she was more than sure that he had no idea that Emily had actually been with his daughter before too.
Ken left shortly after and since Emily had cleaned most of the plates, Alison offered to do the rest. Emily went to the living room and sat with Ellie. The snowman movie was wrapping up. She knew because she'd watched it at least ten times already this month. Ellie stared at the tv, unmoving, as if it was the first time that she had ever seen it. Emily relaxed and stared at the screen. She hadn't realized until now, but she was pretty tired too.
"Hey."
Emily hadn't realized that she had closed her eyes. She looked up and saw Alison balancing Ellie on her hip. The little girl's head was slumped over Alison's shoulder.
"I'm going to take her to bed and then I'll probably lay down too," Alison told her.
"Yeah," Emily nodded.
Alison gave her a half smile. "Merry Christmas."
"Yeah," Emily told her again, too groggy to think of anything else. She got up from the couch and made her way to her room. She started to come to a little bit during her walk and rubbed her eyes when she sat down in the bed. The exhaustion of the day had definitely snuck up on her. It made her feel a little bit bad for all of the years that she'd woken her own parents up at the crack of dawn to open presents. Between the early wake up call, getting out and putting together all of the toys, hosting Toby's parents, and then biting her tongue the last few hours with Alison's dad, today had been A LOT. Yet still, despite her lack of energy, she didn't feel ready to close the book on today. It felt unfinished, especially after everything that had gone on at the dinner table. She waited a few minutes before exiting her makeshift bedroom and heading up the stairs. She poked her head into Ellie's room and noted the little girl was fast asleep. It made Emily smile. She felt like she and Alison had done everything in their power to give the kids the best Christmas that they could without the presence of their parents. Surprisingly, Ellie hadn't said one word about her parents all day. She's been a little bit concerned when she realized earlier, but she also saw the way that the child paused in front of pictures of Spencer and Toby. She still missed them. Emily did too. She'd seen Toby almost every year on Christmas and it had been impossible not to think of him and Spencer today. She continued walking towards Alison's room, pausing outside of the cracked door to knock on it lightly.
"Come in," Alison called softly.
Emily pushed opened the door and gave a half smile. "Hey…"
The blonde was sitting on her bed with one leg folded on and the other hanging off. She must not have been in the room long because she hadn't changed into her pajamas yet. "What's up?" She asked.
Emily shrugged. She was wasn't exactly sure why she was there, she just felt compelled to be. "Just wanted to make sure you were okay. That dinner was kind… intense."
"Thought you'd be used to intense dinners with my family by now," the blonde smiled wryly.
Emily huffed out a breath and shook her head. "I don't think I'll ever get used to those."
Alison let a beat pass before speaking again. "I'm sorry for how he was acting…" She looked towards Emily's face, trying to meet her eyes. "The things he said…"
Emily waved it off. She didn't want to get into that. She could take care of herself. "He really liked Elliott, huh?" She asked facetiously.
"Ya think?" Alison joked back in her typically sarcastic tone. Neither of them spoke right right away, but after a moment the blonde elaborated. "The whole thing about being worried about my future and the Elliott stuff, I swear it all goes back to him and my uncle and how competitive they are. It's always been about has more money, a better looking wife, more successful kids… I figured that going to Penn would be enough, but then Spence went to Law School just like her sister. Plus Melissa wasn't just a lawyer, but she was marrying a doctor. Meanwhile, I'm fielding calls from property managers at my dad's real estate firm. I think he figured that if I wasn't going to accomplish anything myself, marrying a doctor would do."
Emily's lips actually parted at the confession. "You have accomplished something. You wrote a freaking book. You're published." She didn't understand this obsession with Alison's family's version of success. Emily wasn't a doctor or a lawyer. She didn't have tons of money saved up from her years of working. Yet she still felt successful. She woke up everyday and did something that she loved while touching the lives of other people. That was success to her.
But Alison even objected to that. "Sure but it's a fiction novel."
"And…?" Emily pushed her brows together. She could hardly string a few decent sentences together let alone write an entire novel. Hell, she couldn't even remember the last time she had read a novel.
"Have you read it?" Alison laughed a little. "It wasn't exactly a scholarly work of print."
"So what. That's still awesome. You're awesome," Emily stressed. She'd heard Alison's tone earlier during the conversation with her father. Her voice had sounded smaller. That wasn't the Alison that Emily knew.
"Thanks, Em," she said. She tried to duck her head a little to make the smile that Emily's comment had brought on less obvious.
"And everything you do with the kids… that's work too. Liam didn't just start walking on his own. They needed us and you spend time with them everyday showing them how loved they are. And you're doing great at that too," Emily smiled and then joked, "way better than I thought you would."
"Hey!" Alison swatted at her arm. She took in what Emily said for a moment and then nodded. "You're a big part of that. I probably would have had a nervous breakdown in the beginning without you. And today was good. I think that we gave them a great Christmas."
Emily nodded. "We did," she told her softly.
"I had a really nice Christmas too. We just won't invite my Dad next year," Alison raised her brows.
"Fine by me," Emily laughed. But Alison's father wasn't the part that stuck in her mind. It was the way that she'd said next year so casually, especially after the way that her father had harassed her about her future. She hadn't given him any answers, other than this was what she was doing and where she would be. And truthfully? Emily liked that answer, because this was where she wanted to be too.
She resisted meeting Alison's eyes after that realization. She was too scared to. Christmas always had a way of opening her heart and she knew that looking at Alison would make her feel things. She was in Alison's room with her. At night. This was dangerous for Emily. She didn't know where Alison's head was at or what she was feeling. She knew what Alison had said and done years ago, but it was like that didn't exist sometimes. When she looked at Alison today, she felt like she had back when they had become friends and gotten close. Warm, excited, happy. Those were all great feelings. They had been before too until they had exploded on her face.
But she didn't want to think about that right now. That wasn't why she'd come up here. "I'm going to head to bed," she took a step back to create some space. "Merry Christmas, Ali."
Alison nodded. She understood that Emily was leaving. "Thanks for making sure that Christmas ended on a good note," she said with a soft smile that gave a tiny glimpse of her dimples.
Emily left her room feeling accomplished and headed back downstairs to where her bed was. When she laid down that night, she reflected on the day. The kids smiles were something that stood out. She had spent some time at Toby and Spencer's last year and at two years old, Ellie was just starting to grasp the concept of Christmas. This year, though, she understood completely and her happiness was infectious. It made Emily think of Alison's smile. It wasn't the same as the smirk that drew her in years ago, but it was the same smile that she'd fallen for.
She tried to compartmentalize her past and her present and use them to figure out what exactly she wanted for her future. Alison's father hadn't necessarily been wrong for bringing it up. They were in a bit of a limbo situation. It hadn't been something that Emily thought much about because they'd been working so hard to get settled. Now that they were, though, what was next? Had Alison thought about that or was she using the phrase 'next year' flippantly. What would their life look like a year from now?
And how exactly was she supposed to fit Sabrina into all of this? She had her life that existed in the house, but the times that she spent with Sabrina outside of the house existed totally separate from that. They'd exchanged texts wishing each other a Merry Christmas, but Emily had been focused on her life with Alison and the kids today. She was seeing Sabrina tomorrow in a totally separate environment. It was separate, but that didn't mean that she wasn't looking forward to it. Sabrina was kind and made her feel happy. She wanted to continue to have that part of her life. She tried to quell her worries as she closed her eyes. She could figure out the future later.
What she didn't know was that she'd be tested on how to combine these world's sooner than she thought.
Around dinnertime the following day, she went over to Sabrina's place as planned. They had their own belated version of Christmas, eating special pastries that Sabrina had made and exchanging gifts with each other. It was fun and romantic. Unlike with Alison, Emily could just be. There were no expectations, no memories (good or bad), there was just real uninhibited feelings and action. She didn't need to think; she could just be.
The plan was for Emily to get home late that night. She'd told Alison not to wait up, because it would probably be close to midnight, but had promised to be home. They had a big two days coming up. Liam's birthday was on the 28th and they had a ton of things to do the day before the party to get ready. She hadn't meant to fall asleep when they'd gone back to Sabrina's bedroom… but that was what happened.
When she woke up the morning of the 27th in Sabrina's bed instead of her own, she was a little surprised.
And when she picked up her phone and saw twelve missed calls and a swarm of messages- all from Alison- she knew that she was in for a problem.
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A/N - Starting to sense a crossroad for Emily? Next chapter will have some tough conversations. And there's a sweet Flashback that I think you'll all enjoy.
This one took awhile to get out, BUT you basically got a double chapter length-wise. I'm doing my best for you guys. I appreciate you all for sticking with me and your continued kindness since I've started posting here. I've got a LOT on my personal plate right now, but will continue to find time to keep getting this story to you. Thanks again, and stay safe and well!