A/N: Oh, hello there! Fancy seeing you here. I'm sure some of you thought I was never coming back while other's figured I had simply started posting elsewhere. Both would be incorrect. For those who have followed me the past few years, you might remember that I work in Education which has ramped up 500 percent since I last posted. But alas, after weeks and weeks of writing when I could/was motivated to, here we have it. Close to 20,000 words that I'm pretty damn proud of. I wrote the first half of this in time for August but realized that it wouldn't end where I needed it to, so I waited, in hopes that this ending might be a little bit better...

Anyways, welcome back. See you at the end. :)

We woke up the following morning side by side, my head tucked just beneath the shadow of the comforter and Alison's right shoulder. Pleasantly sighing, I rubbed my hair against the bridge of her neck while tightening my hand hold on her forearm. She brushed her thumb against my ribcage as she settled back against the bed, neither of us giving way to the light of day. The sooner we woke up and began moving, the sooner we were going back to reality. This 36 hours had been some of the best of our four months together, and it was apparent that moving away from this space was undesired by us both.

"Why do I have to always pee the instant I wake up?" Alison groaned next to me. "Do you mind if I get up?"

I hummed, "I mind." My response led to her sighing sadly, rotating and curling into me further as I continued, "But, I'll also forgive you."

"You will? I'm so lucky…" She kissed my cheek before grabbing her phone and rotating out of bed.

My eyes traced over her nude, hour-glass figure as she stood to walk toward the restroom. "Hey." I whispered, causing her to look up as she passed the front of the bed, "I love you."

Alison smiled, sauntering toward me as I leaned up for a kiss, "I love you, too. Good morning."

Her thumb moved gently across my cheek as her face pulled away. My hand remained clutched in the curve of her waist, our eyes staying glued to one another as if painful to look away. "You are seriously so gorgeous."

Closing her eyes, she took a few moments to soak in my compliment, "Thank you, Emmy. I promise, I'll be right back."

Instinctually, I rolled to my left to lay on her pillow while she was away. My eyes closing with a smile plastered across my face. In all honesty, a part of me thought that my head would be swarming this morning after telling Alison I see myself marrying her. I thought that bells and sirens would be endlessly ringing for repeating the same mistake again. But all that filled my head was Alison's reaction. All that swarmed my mind was the way she took care of me last night. The way she nurtured and supported and comforted me through our progress as a couple. I could only focus on Alison obsessively double-checking with me that I was positive. Wrapping herself around me while asking questions to ensure that I hadn't felt pressured or influenced to move to a ten. All she had done was confirm the conclusion I had already come to. If I was meant to marry anyone in this world, I was meant to marry her. She was meant to be my wife. We were meant to –

My eyes snapped open as I heard my phone buzz for a second time behind me. And as I checked my phone, all I saw was a message from her.

hi : )

Oh, hello.

I miss you.

From the bathroom?

… maybe?

Would it make it better if I said I missed you too?

definitely. did I acknowledge your compliment earlier? sometimes I swoon a little too hard when you say nice things about me

You did. You said 'thank you'. I love how you take my compliments now compared to when we first met.

because I'm starting to believe them…

You should. You coming back to me soon? I'm getting cold without you here.

say no more! Be right there

Less than sixty seconds later, I heard the faucet turn off as Alison ran back toward to me, giggling the entire way as if originally attempting to be sneaky. I threw open the comforter on her side of the bed for her to hop into, causing her to instantly envelop me in her arms.

She kissed my face repeatedly while talking, "You're so fucking cute rolling over to my pillow. How are you this morning? How are you feeling?"

"I'm good, Ali." My hands ran up and down the sides of her torso as she settled her right thigh between my legs while pulling her left leg to the side of my hip. With her body perched above mine, Alison feathered her fingers through my hair.

"You feel the same?"

I laughed, leaning forward to kiss her softly, "You're being anxious again, sweetheart. It's like when we first started dating and you asked every few days if we were okay. You know me. I don't say or do things that I don't mean. I wouldn't have told you that I want to marry you someday if I didn't intend on becoming your wife. My mind isn't changing, Alison."

She tucked her head into my shoulder as she laid against me. Her pointer finger danced across the top of my sternum, lackadaisically drawing shapes and lines across my chest. I wrapped the comforter tightly around us, goosebumps raising on my skin. Wanting nothing more than this for as long as I could have it. Her close to me. It was all I needed. I was convinced.

"You know, I don't think I'll ever grow tired of hearing you say that, Emmy. Like every time you say the words 'wife' or 'marriage', my heart grows 20 times bigger. It makes me so happy to hear you sound so sure."

Wrapping my forearms fully around her lower back, I squeezed her against me, "Imagine how much better it will feel when we decide it's the right time then."

Alison nodded, kissing my collarbone, "Mmm-hmm. You're going to get tired of me when we're married. I can promise you that. You won't be able to hear me get through a sentence without calling you my wife."

I smirked as I spoke, knowing what my next words would do to her, "Wife? What about fiancée?" I kept my grip tight around her waist while immediately feeling Alison trying to remove herself from our hold.

"Nope! Nope! Can't hear that lying against you without being instantly turned on."

"And what's wrong with that?" I kissed up her face, loosening my hold a bit as Alison began to rotate still in my arms.

"Check-out is in an hour!"

"Fiancée." I stated plainly again, causing Alison to squeal against my side.

"No." Her refute was adorable. Mid-thrash though, she suddenly stopped, pointing toward me, "Emily Catherine, let me go."

My eyebrow raised, "Not the middle name…"

"Yes, the middle name!" She leaned forward for a light kiss, "You know we don't have time, baby."

Despite my pout, I let her waist go, causing her to scoot to the other side of the bed but not leave. Laughing, I continued, "So fiancée works you up enough that you have to get out of our comfortable little cuddle, but not enough that you completely get out of bed?"

"Let me be in denial."

"Okay, Ali." I nodded, propping myself up on my right arm as I rotated to kiss her cheek. "You be in denial; I'm going to go take a shower. Then, we can pack up."

Alison promptly turned her face, "A shower?"

I winked her way, "Yep. Damn shame you've been escaping my grasp all morning, isn't it?"

While turning back toward the restroom, Alison mumbled behind me, "Oh, fuck you."

"I heard that!" I snapped back around to find our matching smiles while crawling back toward her. I lowered my voice sweetly, "Fuck you too, baby."

Alison's right palm found me just below my throat, essentially pulling me forward with the clutch of her fingers. Her force pulling me into our kiss made me off-balance, reaching out with my left hand to stabilize us against her. After our first kiss, she came forward with teeth, nipping at my bottom lip with a short grumble. A groan escaped my mouth as she slacked her grip allowing me to retreat.

"I see you." I whispered back, "I love you."

"Love you too, Emmy. Sorry for grabbing you." She chuckled, rubbing her hand gently against my neck.

"You know I didn't mind at all. Come join me if you must."

Alison shook her head 'no' as I started to turn around. But, in the process of resettling, I heard the bed adjust behind me. And with her quintessential giggle, I watched as before I could even place two feet on the ground, Alison's stunning figure ran toward the restroom. As she reached the door frame, she looked over her shoulder.

"You coming or are you just going to sit on the side of the bed all morning?" My teasing smile must have said it all because as I leapt up reaching for her ahead of me, Alison began laughing and squealing as she scampered away once again. When it came to Alison, 'I love you' was the biggest understatement I could ever say. It would never be enough. It was always more.

Later that afternoon, Alison and I made our return to the house. Covered in our bags, she opened the door with dinner in hand for the boys. Carter had been asleep on the couch, his right hand casually placed behind his head with a cap over his face.

He stretched awake while already starting to talk, "Oh hey, Al. Happy to have you two back."

Alison laughed, setting the food down in the kitchen, "Single parent life is rough, isn't it?"

"Especially with all of Jacob's needs right now. Thank you for grabbing food for us; Jake's been wanting a shake since the second you both left."

I set our bags down by the stairs with a sigh, "Well, thank you again for giving us the time to get away for a few days."

"Of course. As a heads up, he's been complaining about his wrap all weekend. I'm sure he'd appreciate a professional one."

"I'll go check it out while I bring the bags upstairs. J and I will be right back."

As I was collecting the bags once more, Alison spoke over her shoulder, "Thank you, baby. I know you drove, so are you still up for our parent meeting tonight after getting Jake to bed later?" I nodded, keeping my focus on not hitting our portrait in the alcove or the walls with our bags.

"E!" Jacob yelled as I passed by his room.

"Get out of bed slowly!" I shouted behind myself watching him already starting to throw his legs over the side. Jacob was able to move relatively freely on his own. But when quickly raising from a lying down position with his incision, he had a higher chance of potentially fainting or at the very least, throwing off his equilibrium. His feet pattered behind me as I sat the bags down, turning just in time on my knees to catch him in my arms. "Hi sweetheart! I missed you."

As he pulled away, he started to whisper, covering the sides of his mouth with his hands, despite both of his parents being downstairs, "Emlee, I pwomise I telled Daddy nice fings, but he didn't get better." Jacob stood back from me, allowing me to fully take in his look. His wrap wasn't actually terrible but compared to what I would do, it wasn't great. I closed my lips tightly to not appear as though I was about to laugh. "E, iss not funny."

"No, J, I know. But it doesn't look that bad; it's better than the first time he tried it. Did anything your Dad do this weekend hurt you?" Jacob shook his head, "That's good. Did Dad deep clean this weekend or just disinfect?"

"The wast one."

"Okay, Bug." I rubbed my hand on his shoulder, "How about this? I'll do a quick wrap right now, just to make it a little straighter. But when Mom comes up for your bath, I will do your deep clean and wrap before bed tonight. Is that okay?"

Jacob took a step toward me again, reaching around his head to start unwrapping his bandage, "I wike dat. I miss you too."

His sincerity made my heart sing because unlike adults of the world, children had no ulterior motive. They didn't naturally have negative intent. Instead, Jacob only said what he meant. He didn't tell me what I wanted to hear. After doing a quick superficial wrap, he tucked his arms around my neck for me to carry him downstairs.

"Yep, Mom and I were sure to get you a chocolate shake, just like you ask –"

"MOMMMY!" Jacob screamed as we made our way down the last two steps, shattering what felt like the entirety of my hearing in one go.

Alison whispered 'sorry' while removing him from my arms, "Hi, baby. How are you?"

"I good! Emlee fix my wap, but Daddy did gweat job. I telled him nice fings evewy time. Wight, Daddy?"

Carter nodded while simultaneously shrugging, "Sure, Jake. Compliments like 'the metal isn't pressed against my head like last time' and 'Emlee only does it twice as good as you now, Daddy' and 'you're good at this only because you're so slow', don't quite make you feel like a rockstar parent. But it's better than the alternative for sure, I guess."

I looked at Jacob who was nodding emphatically, convinced that his compliments were sufficient. Alison replied, "Thank you for that, Bug." She kissed his temple, "Dad was telling me that you two worked on your Lego a bit. How was that?"

"Good! He used a pin to stick the rules to duh wall a cause my eyes did bad going up and down."

"I put it in the Notes App." Carter interjected, while gathering up our plates with burgers and fries on them. "Figured it was important. Emily? Could you grab waters for us?"

"Definitely."

Jacob's head spun toward his dad's, "What about sakes?!"

"Shakes are after your burger." Alison replied, looking over at Carter for confirmation. I loved watching them parent in real time. Knowing each other well enough to respond accordingly without discussing it for every decision. "We got you a plain cheeseburger, ketchup on the side for dipping. Fries in the bag for your chocolate shake. How's that sound?"

No answer was needed as head nods and comfort food sounds filled the void. Jacob filled us in on what felt like every literal second of time since we had left 48 hours earlier, while Carter started shutting down. Not in a bad way. But in this new caretaker role, I had discovered that you tend to stay in a trauma response when responsible for Jacob. Especially the first few days he was home, we were all waiting for the other shoe to drop. A suture to come loose. A migraine to send him over the edge. A gap in his memory we didn't expect. And of course, some of those worries were valid and some of those concerns did occur. But when your allotted time to stop taking care of Jacob arrived, you removed yourself entirely. Part of you floated above your life momentarily until you realized you were no longer directly responsible for someone else's life. For even a short amount of time.

After dinner, I helped carry Jacob upstairs so that Alison could be with him during his nightly routine while I gathered up laundry from our weekend away to start ahead of bed. The hamper groaned along with me down the stairs as Carter settled into the couch to turn on the nightly news.

"I hope the house treated you well this weekend. I'm sorry I don't have a third bedroom for you."

"It's not a problem. The fold-out bed on the couch isn't half bad, and during the day, I stayed in this little spot right here for some variety. It could be worse. I was just appreciative that you were willing to have a relative stranger stay in your home while you were gone."

"Don't worry. The valuables were locked up." I winked over my shoulder while walking into the kitchen to the laundry room. We shared a laugh with my reply though both of us knew I wasn't entirely kidding. Our relationship had certainly improved overtime, but our complete trust in each other was only at arm's length. We trusted each other in regard to Alison and Jacob, but just us two? No, that would take more time.

Working diligently both on laundry and cleaning the kitchen entirely, I eventually heard Alison's voice shout for me from upstairs. While working my way down the hallway toward the up guest bathroom, Alison swatted my ass as I passed our bedroom door.

"What was that for?" I snapped my head toward her, Alison's face smirking as if she had gotten away with something slick.

She shrugged, "I couldn't help myself. Two days of being able to have my hands on you whenever I want, and now I'm restrained in our own home?" Her head shook while her mouth stood agape. "I won't stand for it."

"Love you. We'll cuddle tonight for sure." I called her forward for a short kiss with my finger. "Let me go take care of J."

When I walked into the restroom, Jacob had already pulled a chair in front of the mirror, a series of gauze, soap, ointment, and wrapping material laid out in a row. "I got weady, E."

"You do know that your mom or dad are capable of this too? This isn't just something I know how to do because of my doctorate, right?"

"You're bettew though."

Looking at his reflection in the mirror as I scrubbed my hands, I replied, "I know, J. Don't sell your parents short though. I feel badly when you solely rely on me."

I kept the water running to get warm while leaning back to get a good look at his healing wound. His stitches had been removed a little over a week after surgery, but due to the odd shape of the scar, it required more informal observations than usual. It looked good though, some small touches of pink just off of the incision line with bigger flushes of blood flow off the sections of skull still intact. As two sections of his skull had been temporarily removed during surgery, to the trained eye it was apparent where those sub-sections started and ended. Swelling had decreased dramatically, and if I were his doctor, I would assume that it was nearly time for his skull to no longer need to be wrapped during the day.

As I peered and analyzed carefully, I watched Jacob raise his finger before speaking, "Okay…" He sighed, "I tell you twoof."

"The truth?" I asked, reaching forward to place hot water on my fingers before delicately placing it on the back section of his scalp. "What truth, J?"

"Why I ask you to help me?" His eyes fell down, moving his lips quietly to form his sentence as he meant it to come out, "You make me think I will be okay. Nothing sprizes you."

My fingers rotated clockwise on over his scar while gently washing with fragrance-free soap. It was also an ideal time to feel the healing of his scalp. Small divots dipped beneath them, but nothing that would be of concern. His words were incredibly sweet, and I looked up at him endearingly, "Thank you. I appreciate that."

"No…" He shook his head. "Everyone else looks at my head like dey spect something bad, or different. Sometimes eben doctors. You don't do dat, E. I can tell you beweave in me. It uh – makes me beweave in me, too."

The more he spoke, the more he broke my heart. He spoke as though belief in himself didn't exist internally. That he was learning to believe in his own health and perseverance through watching others. But, when it came down to it, my belief in Jacob had far less to do with who he was as an individual. Beating cancer of course partially involved the individual, but some of the strongest people I ever treated succumbed to the disease. No, my belief in Jacob stemmed from the fact that I was tracking him. 2AC9. His blood tests had been collected before being discharged and would be collected again later this week. They would continue to be added and collected until in remission, of that I was sure. But to the eight year old in front of me, my confidence came directly from what I saw in him. He was brave only because of what he thought he saw in me. Our confidence was cyclical. So if his bravery needed my complicity, complicit I would be.

"Of course, I believe in you, Jacob. You've beaten this before, and this time, you didn't truly have cancer, only the potential for it. But thank you for telling me that. If I help you feel stronger, then I'll be here every time, sweetie."

He nodded assuredly, "It looks good?"

"It does. Want to pass me your hand?" As he held up his hand, I folded down three of his fingers before wiping them down with an alcohol wipe. "Okay, so I'm not sure if you'll be able to feel this because of your nerve endings, but I want you to feel along this squiggle right here versus this squiggle. What difference do you feel?"

"The last squiggle was squishy."

A cackle sneakily escaped, "Squishy is one word for it, but that's one of the lines where your skull was reattached. You have that piece and one other that are all underneath your scar healing, too. So give yourself patience, even if you don't feel the best about your healing every single day. Your body is doing all that it can." Leaning over his shoulder and looking into the mirror, I continued, "Can I tell you a secret?" He nodded with rapt attention. "Everyone actually has lines like this in their scalp, where our bones fuse when we're really young. They all focus close to the middle of your scalp and then travel down this side. It's why babies heads are so tender when they're first born. So, if at some point in the future you become self-conscious about your scars or stress about all you've been through, I want you to know that you may have some more bone fuses overall, but you're not alone in your squiggles."

"You know a lot, Emlee. Fank you."

I shook his shoulders out on either side before grabbing the gauze to dry off his scalp. "Of course. I'll tell you as much or as little as you want to know about anything involving your surgeries. I love you, little guy. Never forget that."

"Wuv you."

We sat in relative silence as I added a thin layer of ointment to help with scarring before adding the diagonal wrap for sleeping. "How's that feel, J?" He exhaled with his arms wide open in reply before racing to the stairs to call down to Alison for bedtime. "I'll see you in the morning." I whispered, passing him at the top of the stairs.

Alison met me near the bottom of the staircase as we traded off roles for the night. Though we didn't speak, her eyes detailed volumes. They were loving and secure and dedicated with a tinge of enticement. I had missed it being just us as well. The impossible dreams a part of us each held for a past that included just the two of us. Time in our relationship where our future pressures and struggles weren't told to us date two. A space where we could learn to be. This past weekend had given us a true taste of that. Of what we were outside of everything else. And if inside these walls we were amazing, it was no surprise that outside of them, we were exquisite.

Carter and I moved toward the kitchen table for our meeting. It was apparent that Carter was fading fast as he rested his head against his palm, closing his eyes briefly. I started gathering up the blankets and pillows he used over the weekend to place them in the next load of laundry before joining him.

Through his closed eyes, he started talking, "You know, in some ways it makes no sense to me, but every time I see you two together, somehow Alison loves you more than the time before."

"Does she?" I looked up unknowingly from my spot at the end of the table.

"Yeah, she came down the stairs as you were helping Jake, but even down here, she kept looking back up the stairs. I don't know what you're doing or how you do it, but she's captivated by you." He opened his eyes, "It reassures me that she's in good hands because I honestly don't know if she ever looked at me that way."

"I don't know if I would say – "

" – You all ready?" Alison interrupted coming around the corner and observing the two of us sitting rather awkwardly. "Are we? Did I interrupt something?"

Carter sat up, attempting to shake off the conversation as his earlier tone didn't give way to if he was grateful for Alison's happiness or resentful for not earning a smile he didn't know he stood to lose. "Nope. Not at all." He yawned. "We're just working out this week's schedule, right? I've been hitting my wall for a while now."

"We can figure out your part quickly, if needed. You leave Sunday, right?"

He nodded, "Yep. Then gone until March. So, just tell me where to be this week, and I'll make it happen."

Alison reached behind her for her calendar on the kitchen counter before turning back to us both, "Wednesday is Jake's second follow-up. More blood sampling, another MRI, and further discussion of what his chemo schedule is going to look like. I will be there for sure, and I was hoping someone else could join me."

"I can." Carter and I both replied, simultaneously.

"Well, wait. Because Thursday is our meeting with his school to talk out next steps…" Her voice faded briefly.

"What were your thoughts then, Ali?" I knew the fade in her voice meant she had idea that she was unsure one or both of us would agree to. That she internally was struggling with managing expectations and plans.

"Either of you can include your thoughts, but I think Emily should come to the check-up. And I think all three of us should be involved in the meeting Thursday. But – and Car, I hope this doesn't sound ridiculous – but I think you should be in person for it."

He looked up wide-eyed, "In Philadelphia?"

"Look, I would go, but everyone in that damn office has treated me weirdly since Emily picked him up in November. If one of them even looks at me funny in that meeting, it may set me off. We need it to go smoothly, and the only way for that to happen is for you to be in person instead. Em and I would video call in."

Carter ran his hands through his hair, "I can't believe we pay thousands to that fucking school each semester, and you can't even walk into the office without them making you both feel uncomfortable. You know I was serious when I said I'd call the board together with you?" We both nodded silently as he sighed, "But yeah, I can be there. I know that will fuck with the schedule here at the house. But yeah, it makes sense. Then back here by Saturday night for your dinner and me flying out Sunday?"

"Dinner with my co-workers. And Jason and Aria?" I asked sheepishly to Alison, who nodded in reply, "Saturday at 7:30 downtown, so that we're not bringing any potentially weird contaminants into the house. So, it's three things this week?"

Alison flipped to a separate blank page in her agenda, "Three events, yes. But Carter, I do – I mean, we do have one more thing we need to talk about."

He exhaled, obviously already exasperated by his lack of consistent sleep and the totality of this conversation in the first place, "Well, that doesn't sound great."

"I mean, it can be as easy of a conversation as you want it to be, and I would typically have the conversation with you alone. But Emily plays a key part in it all and I just want to – "

" – Please just go ahead, Al. Whatever it is."

It was Alison's biggest fear in this conversation, the part we went over and over on the car ride home. She knew that it would be contentious, and she knew that Carter would feel cornered. I promised to stay by her side but not add in my two cents, knowing that this conversation would be enough as is.

She drew nervous squiggles on the page in front of her, "So, about us paying thousands for Jake to be at his private school. I was thinking about withdrawing him at the end of the year, regardless of how the meeting goes Thursday."

"I understand that. That's not a difficult conversation; we can start looking for other schools. Did you have a place in mind?"

Her voice fell, "Baltimore."

Carter's head completely turned to face her, "Oh, no. I'm sorry about that. I must have misheard something because I swear that I just heard you say 'Baltimore'."

"I did." Alison spoke more assuredly, reaching to her right to hold my hand, "I'm moving here, full-time. So either we come up with an agreement between the two of us, or we take it to court." She shrugged, "Obviously, I'd like us to settle this without involving the court system, but I also know it's a lot to take in."

Carter stood up before Alison could even finish her statement, "You haven't given us much of a choice though, Al. He can't go to two different fucking schools if we kept our same schedule! I understand you wanting to move, I do. But you know my situation with work, and you know that the only reason I'm still here is because of Jake. You know that my schedule is all for him, and you also know that the courts will look at my work schedule and immediately be in your favor. You know that."

"I do." She nodded.

"So, this isn't a choice at all then." His hands fell against his sides, "What about our families? Our parents? Your brother?" Though he shoved his palms into his pockets, I could see them raising into fists. "Or my life? My friends? My fucking house? I'm supposed to uproot my life for yours?"

"And Jake's." Alison continued. "It will be more stable when all of his treatment is said and done to have his parents in the same place."

"We will never be in the same place, Ali! I will always only be here for weeks at a time." He paused, looking straight at me, "I bet you're thrilled." The sarcasm dripped from his sneered teeth.

Pulling my eyes from the table, I replied, "I'm sorry?"

"No, it's fine. Don't answer." Carter slipped one hand out from his pockets before hitting it frustratingly against the table. It wasn't aggressive or loud, but it was an action from a man who felt as though he had no other options. "Alison, I can't do this tonight, or I'm going to say shit I don't mean. But what are you trying to work out with this? What sort of agreement are you looking for me to sign?"

She let go of my hand, "The moving is the only part Emily has been involved in, okay? Don't hold this next part against her. Please, Car." Her voice took a sharp inhale as she stood, already stretching out her hands to brace for the impact of her words, "I don't know how to phrase it in a document, but I think he should live with Em and me full-time." Carter groaned, "With an agreement between the two of us that when you are in town, he is able to stay with you."

"Where, Alison? Stay with me where?"

She rang her hands out on her pants, "I need to talk to my dad, but we can buy you a place? Or rent an apartment for you? I don't know. I don't have it all figured out."

"It sure fucking feels like you do…"

Alison extended her right hand to reach out for his, "What would you propose then, Car? I am moving here, I am. If you're in Philadelphia only half the time as is, what is the solution?"

He squeezed her hand, "I hear you. But I can't do this tonight. Let me think on it." Carter then tore his hand away from hers before looking back at me, "Sorry. I'm not good with loss."

I only nodded, not wanting to give him anything to pull off of. At my silence, Alison continued, "Take your time. Thank you for taking care of him this weekend."

"Of course, I always will. Just give me time with this, Al."

He walked to the door begrudgingly, grabbing his bag and waving backward as Alison locked the door behind him. I met her at the door as she sighed into my shoulder. My arms wrapped around her waist while kissing her temple.

"You got it all out. That's all we can expect right now, love. Let the breath go." She exhaled into the air, squeezing herself against me again before letting go. "We discussed this not being easy, Alison. You said your piece; that's all we can do."

She remained silent while letting go of me and walking to the kitchen silently, returning a few moments later with our shake and two spoons. "Can we not talk about it?"

I laughed as she stood by the couch, waiting for me to sit down first. "Needy again, are we?" I asked, while settling my hands on her hips to give her a kiss. "Love you."

The way Alison curled herself into my body as I sat down reminded me of Jacob at the eye doctor. A worried position as if clinging to a buoy. A life preserver in a world with little saving. "I love you, too."

She passed the lid of the shake up to me to lick off the lid before setting it on the side table next to us. We took small bites one at a time while losing ourselves in reality TV. I knew we would talk later tonight. Not only was it her vent night but as time had passed in our relationship, I realized how beneficial it was for Alison to have time. She mentioned it during our first disagreement, but at first, I hadn't realized how much it flowed into other areas of her life. I hadn't realized how much her desire for separation was a super power. It allowed her to never lose her cool, never take an initial conversation too seriously. Because she then processed, learned, adapted, and analyzed to make sure if there were a next conversation, it would go even better than the first. Alison had seamlessly found a way to ensure everyone found their place in a discussion without losing herself or her goal in the approach.

"You want the last bite?" I asked, scraping the bottom of the cup before passing the spoon her way.

But as Alison took the spoon in her hand, she turned it back around to feed the last bite to me, "What's mine is yours, baby. Thank you for offering." She followed up her shake sacrifice with a short kiss, "I appreciate you, Emmy." Her eyes closed gently, putting together the words, "You trust me to say what I need, and you trust me to need what I say. It makes me never hesitate to be honest with you, because I know that no matter what – "

"I will always accept honesty."

Alison nodded, "But then, you respect it. Half of the time, I doubt you even understand it." Her hand brushed through the top of my hair, "Thank you."

"You're welcome." I smiled, tilting my head to the right to catch the palm of her hand with a kiss as it finished brushing through the ends of my hair. "I have an early morning due to my meetings this week with Onyeke, so I'm going to shower tonight instead of in the morning. Especially considering how much you distracted me during our shower this morning. Come to bed soon?"

My hand clutched Alison's shirt hovering over her hip as she replied, "I'm going to check and see – " She paused, looking over her shoulder as though some downstairs task may be unfinished.

"It's all done, Ali. Laundry is started. Leftovers are in the fridge. The counters have been wiped down. Jake's room had already been picked up. The bathroom is clean. It's done." I leaned forward, kissing her gently before whispering, "Come to bed."

"Okay…" She replied in kind, her eyes still closed.

I left her in the living room as I walked upstairs for my shower. This week at work was higher stakes than usual. Emmanuel was slowly returning from paternity leave, and we were preparing for our second board meeting since the start of our study. We were meeting little by little each day so that I could catch Emmanuel up, while also gathering the best data to present to the board to display our progress. Thoughts cascaded through my mind as hot water poured down my spine, arching my back into the stream to release the tension I had been carrying throughout our car ride home.

Part of me felt as though I would never feel comfortable being a part of "parent meetings". Even if I was needed for Jake's appointment or for the school meeting this week. To me, it forever felt contentious because the only side I could ever really be on was Alison's. I understood Carter's perspective. Alison and I had come to him with a solution without true alternatives. Without Carter completely quitting his career, his son was being moved to Baltimore. Away from his home, his family, the world he had known with Alison and Jacob their entire relationship. It was a tough place to be in, and I understood his frustration. But I was still on her side. I always would be.

I peeked into our bedroom while getting out of the shower to find that Alison was not yet upstairs. Most likely lost in thought. My exhale felt heavy as I reached for the blow dryer to semi-dry my hair before bed. As I worked on the thin layers, the sound radiated downstairs until Alison eventually entered the room. Without much consideration, she stripped down to her sports bra and underwear, leaving her other clothes lying on the floor next to the bed. It was completely unlike her, but I felt her contemplative presence as she sighed into the pillow.

A few minutes later, after putting on a t-shirt and some underwear, I walked into the bedroom, looking down at her clothes on the floor. Her eyes opened, a small smirk peering through their corners as I bent down to pick them up and take them to the closet. I waved my right hand to have the dangling clothes gently hit the side of her body in a joking manner. Alison's eyes were still open as I returned to the side of the bed.

Placing my left hand next to her side, I pushed down on the mattress to swing my right leg over her waist. Alison's eyes went wide as I straddled her hips, my hands now pressed on either side of her hipbones. Leaning forward, I kissed her neck, "I missed you." I sighed into her, inhaling deeply as my body rested against hers. "And I promised a cuddle earlier today." My tongue swirled just below her ear as I whispered again, "It's your vent day. What do you want from me?"

"This." She replied, as her hands slunk underneath the hem of my oversized shirt to settle on my lower back.

"Okay, baby." I kissed her cheek. "Clothes on or off?"

Her knees raised beneath me, propping my ass on her upper thighs as she rose up onto her forearms. Alison's arms crossed in front of her to reach the sides of her bra, my hands instantly meeting hers to assist.

"I feel bloated as hell from cramps earlier today, so I think I'll stop here." Her hips floated side to side as she settled back down on the bed. "Is that enough?"

I nodded, leaning forward again to kiss her gently, "Mmm. It's more than enough." My right palm rested just below her chest as I raised myself above her before sinking down on her neck once more, "Vent away."

My lips tenderly sucked on her skin as our hands connected next to our entangled bodies. Her sighs slowly filling the silent air around us. "The dishwasher." She started, causing me to pause mid-kiss. "You missed the dishwasher. That's why I was delayed. I guess Carter started it after they had lunch today."

"That was nice of him." I murmured, pressing one finger against her jawline to tilt her head to the right before moving back toward her neck.

Alison grumbled. "He wasn't very pleased tonight, Emmy."

"We knew he wouldn't be, though. We're not surprised." My thumb rubbed delicately against her cheek before moving my lips down.

"Should I have thought it out more, baby? Was it worth it to tell him I'm moving so early in the year? I know you said that we should give him to opportunity to change his plans, figure it out. But it's also more time for him to take me to get crafty and take me to court over it."

"Ali." I paused, kissing her across her chest as I spoke, "Your agreement said nothing about location. Otherwise, Carter would be completely unable to have his job. You're allowed to move. And like he mentioned, it's in everyone's best interest to not go to court over it. You two work out everything else. You all can work this out too."

She sighed, "I'm just in my head about it."

Resting on my left hand, I leaned over her to kiss just next to her lips, "What did I tell you? I'm here just for that: for you to get out of your head. You can always vent about whatever you'd like, but you could also discuss absolutely anything else other than your ex-husband as I'm attempting to ravish your torso." She laughed as I sweetly kissed her once more "I love you."

"I love you, too. And noted." She hummed, "I actually have had something I thought about on the way home today." My teeth nipped her lightly to urge her forward. I listened as her voice started hesitating, "Do you have preferences on haircuts?"

My eyes looked up at her from her mid-chest, "Haircuts? They're healthy if done a few times a year?"

"No, babe! Like length and style of haircuts?"

"Your haircut?" Alison nodded in reply, "In what world do I have any ownership in your hairstyle?"

Her fingers grazed up and down my upper arm, "I figured that would be your answer. It has mattered – uh, before."

"Thank you." I kissed next to her belly button, knowing that she was about to bring up Carter once more. Resting my head on the tops of my hands, I replied, "No. I don't care at all. You are beautiful in every form, Alison. Tell me about what you're thinking then. If it helps, I do like your hair now. The length and color both suit you."

As she spoke, I slightly lowered the elastic of her underwear to kiss my favorite squiggle on her left hip, "You're cute. I don't really know, though. I was thinking maybe shoulder length and layered?"

"Sounds perfect. Maybe tomorrow we test out different lengths in the mirror? We can use a ponytail holder? I'll be perfectly impartial, and you can pick out exactly what you want."

My wide and sincere smile caused her to raise up on one arm. "You seriously have no clue how wonderful you are, do you?"

With my head tilted right, I asked, "In what way?"

"Like tonight even, you're seriously here just kissing my torso. There is zero attempt of you trying to turn me on right now."

There was hesitation in my voice, "Well, I mean, you typically have a rough first day on your period. I figured that the last thing you'd want is to have sex tonight." I looked up, incredulously, "If you're in the mood, I can change my tactics? I've intentionally been neglecting your chest, but just say the word, Alison, and I can – "

"No, no." She laughed, placing her hand on top of mine, "You're right. Emmy, that's the entire point of what I'm saying. You somehow always know."

I crawled up toward her, resting on my side, "Eh, not always. But it's a blessing and a curse of my OCD. Though impossible, my hope for you would be that I am perfect. That you deem me as 'good', whatever the fuck that even means. Knowing your patterns and likes and dislikes is a part of that." I smirked, pointing to my temple, "The mirror suggestion though was all right here."

"Don't get cocky on me! But yeah, not to get more into this than you'd like, but I've done some research into everything and that makes sense."

"Everything being my OCD?" I kissed her forehead, "Tell me more. You know I love Dr. DiLaurentis…"

"Oh, nothing too extreme. I just wanted to understand more, so I learned things like how you being inflexible with your morning routine has to do with your OCD being something that's been incredibly reliable for you your entire life. It has very little to do with me, even though I took it personally at first. It also helped me realize that there are probably dozens of things that you do for me every single day for the sake of your OCD that I don't even realize. Things I appreciate and adore and take for granted. Which is why I wanted to acknowledge you tonight. I don't always remember to." She linked our hands on my hip, her thumb consoling me for all the times she might have faltered previously.

"You remember plenty, but you're correct about all of that. By the time you're in your thirties with this shit, most of it is done subconsciously."

Alison briefly leaned forward, kissing my nose and biting her lower lip as she pulled away. "You just forever make me excited, Emmy."

"What do you mean?"

"Do you think about us growing old together?" Silence filled the room. "Because I always do. More so than I ever have because I see it so clearly by your side."

I squeezed her hand tightly, "You've been so sentimental lately."

"I know. I've just kind of been overwhelmed by this weekend. Part of this still doesn't feel real to me. This isn't actually the case, but in some ways, knowing exactly where we're headed has given me more confidence to talk about all the little things that cross my mind." Her head tucked in between the curve of my neck and chest as her knees curled up into my lower body as if mimicking the fetal position.

"And one of those little things is growing old with me?" I kissed the top of her head as it shook in agreement, "You okay, babe? Your positioning is worrisome."

"I'm okay. My tummy just feels heavy and grumbly." She mumbled, "But I may need you to cuddle me tonight to make sure I keep feeling okay."

"The more time I spend with you, the needier you become. But, of course, I will." I moved our hands over to Alison's ass as I continued, "We can keep talking if you'd like? Get your mind off of it. I'd love to hear more about growing old with you, babe." My voice trailed off, waiting for hers to pick up.

"Us growing old? I don't know what it is exactly, but I can't wait. I think it has to do with how busy our lives are in every facet right now, and old age with you makes me think we'll finally get to experience the slowed down version of us."

"And slowed down wouldn't become boring?"

She gasped, looking back up at me, "We could never be boring! It's us!" My questioning was silenced with a kiss, "But I just know how in-love I am simply being with you, and I think it's only bound to grow deeper and more profound as we get older. I'm so excited to see what else about you I fall in love with. Moments I grow to cherish. There's so much to look forward to."

I met her forcefully with a kiss, closing the already small gap between us. My right hand, which was previously underneath my own head, moved to grasp the side of Alison's face. Times like these, where I felt one with her were the biggest high of my life. They were the feelings I chased; they were when I felt most alive. Because they reminded me of how seen I was in her hands. How much she was undeniably all I ever wanted. In the same way she believed I said exactly the right things, so did she. Not because we were attempting to say the right things or because we knew what the other expected us to say but because our words felt inevitable in each other's presence. We spoke a language only we were able to decipher.

As we pulled away, her voice grew to a whisper, "Also, I think you'll look incredibly sexy with gray hair."

I chuckled, looking straight in her eyes, "To be fair, I'll probably look like my mother." I expected her face to change with my words, but Alison simply shrugged, "Get the fuck out of here, Ali."

She rolled onto her back as her voice echoed through our room, "What? Your mother is an obviously attractive woman! Am I supposed to – "

"Don't finish that thought!" I placed my finger against her lips as her hands wrapped around my forearm. "Are you intentionally trying to ruin the moment?"

"I hate to be the one to tell you this, Emmy, but you are the one that brought Pam into this." I groaned rolling over, feeling her body follow mine as she spoke, "Look, if you don't want to talk about how absolutely astonishing you are, we don't have to…"

Her arms wrapped around my torso from behind as we settled back into one another, knowing that her joking dissipated between us as easily as the words had first escaped her lips. "More than old age though, Ali – " I let the words leave without question, "I think we missed out on puppy love. You know, the flirting and unsure beginning stages of young love? Sure, it's typically built on each person still attempting to present as perfect. But part of me hates that we found each other so much later in life that that part of our relationship was extended to like a week."

"We still have puppy love! We were pretty puppy lovey this morning. Me texting you from the toilet, you being endlessly flirtatious without even realizing it, us running to the shower just to waste time. Maybe we're not running around our hometown staring under the stars and passing each other endless 'I love you's', but we're sentimental in the ways it counts." Her hands groped my torso, delicately tracing her fingers down my ribcage and across my abs. "And think about it. Someday, wayyy in the future, after whatever kids we're blessed with become adults, we'll reach puppy love again, where we can get to love each other without any children around us. Alone, for the long-term, for the first time in? Maybe by that point, almost 25 years?"

"I don't know what's more terrifying: that experiencing our relationship alone is a quarter of a century away or that with that math, you're giving us seven years to get married and have kids."

She kissed down the nape of my neck, "It's just an estimate. We have all the time we need."

"Seven might be good… Just because I was thinking that if we wait longer than that, there's a chance Jake would have a kid by the time the others become adults, so we may be surrounded by children again instead of being alone."

"Oh God, we didn't plan this right."

"Meeting each other?" I laughed, turning in her arms to find her pouting again, "You're right. We really should've done better, baby. We should've figured out a way for our worlds to intersect years earlier than they feasibly could have. Come here." I extended my hands forward to pull Alison toward me. Her head tucked against my chest as I wrapped my left leg over hers as if wrapping her in a cocoon. "Is this good for cuddling, sweetheart?" She kissed my chest through my shirt, as I continued, "Let me know if your cramps start up again tonight. I can go get you Midol or massage your back. Whatever you need."

"Thank you." She mumbled, "See, Emmy? Puppy love."

"Onyeke!" I loudly called through the glass. He turned to find me attempting to precariously balance our lunch orders from the cafeteria in my hands, unable to open the door.

Two days had passed since Alison and I had returned home, and Emmanuel and I were steadfast on the process of gathering any and all necessary data for our presentation the next week. Our first day had consisted of mostly catch up. I had asked more questions than he probably wanted to answer about Tres, but since putting all the pieces together in my relationship with Alison, I sometimes couldn't help but put myself in a parents' shoes. Similarly, Emmanuel was invested in learning all he could about Jacob's surgery and the light difficulties we had with the Peds department leading up to it all. He had given me some pretty succinct and solid advice leading into Jacob's appointment earlier in the day, and as a 'thank you', I had made sure to pre-order and pick up a loaded chicken quesadilla with extra guacamole, his favorite order from the hospital cafeteria.

I exasperatedly smiled as he ripped his other Airpod from his ear to rush to the door, "You've returned! I was worried that Oncology had trapped the two of you down there."

"No, no. It all went fairly well actually." I paused, setting our food down to lay it out around the table. "Here's your quesadilla, extra guac, and a Sprite."

"Perfect!" He clapped his hands together while starting to move his work to the left to settle in for lunch. "Tell me all about it, please."

After covering my salad with dressing and shaking up the box, I detailed our appointment. All in all, it had gone well. His scar had been examined, and Jacob was asked a hoard of questions about pain, potential loss of feeling, and a full MRI prior to gathering his vitals and blood panels. I went into as much details as possible to ensure that Dr. Onyeke fully understood each step of their procedure.

"How did Jacob do through all of that? I know that was one of your biggest concerns this morning prior to."

I sighed, "By the end of it, he was pretty wiped. I'm sure even getting out and making it here is somewhat of a feat for him. He sometimes gets tired mid-dinner, so today must have felt like a marathon for him. He was good though. Asked Ali and I a lot of questions just wondering if certain results were bad or good. He so badly wants to be okay, and part of me feels guilty for him not fully understanding."

"Based on how you've discussed it the past few days, Fields, it seems like you talk to him about a lot of it."

"You're right." I nodded. "I think that's definitely a plus for him compared to his initial diagnosis, but I'll never be able to describe astrocytes well enough for an eight year old. Well, maybe not never. Right now is what counts though, and I think that Jake believes he was seconds from death, when in reality, there's a chance that even if we never did the surgery that cancer wouldn't develop in those cells. That part is what's missing. So his anxiety is on the verge and at all-time highs throughout the entire process. I know I have to give him as much grace as feasibly possible but – "

He placed his hand on top of my own in understanding, "It's hard for you, too. No, I understand that, Emily. You don't have to explain to me the stress that comes with parenthood. I was there from the moment I even understood who Tres was to me. Blood or not, responsibility carries weight, and you're carrying Jacob's weight even if you don't want to acknowledge it."

I laughed in understanding, feeling seen for the first time by another parent. The laugh itself felt heavy, like a potential slip I let drop into the air. "I am. More than you know." I watched as Emmanuel's face relatively transformed, questioning the meaning behind my words. So, I began to stutter, trying to recover, only able to imagine that he could see right through me. "In the sense that I feel like I'm juggling so many aspects of mine and his relationship even separate from Alison. As a doctor, a role model, a –"

"Parent. You can say it." My head shook, allowing it to resonate. "Regardless if he knows it or not, you've parented him more in the past four months than some parents have done in years. You're allowed to claim the word without the direct recognition."

"I mean, I claim it internally."

"Then, that's a start." He took another bite of his quesadilla as he began to speak again, "How'd the MRI look?"

"Clear. King did a great job. There, of course, was the small portion left behind for the sake of his brain stem. But 3D imaging was able to show that growth was minimal at best, but ruled to be insignificant, overall. So chemo is still the route they'd like to take. Jake was so tired by that point that we decided to talk it over with him this week. But discussing whether or not immunotherapy should be added and his exact schedule and everything will come down to Carter and Alison."

He nodded calmly, "You're obviously going to push short cycle, long form chemo with the use of immunotherapy?"

"That's what I'll suggest if Alison asks. Sometimes she doesn't, but with where the tumor is located, I think long form to prevent growth for the most extensive time possible will help me feel more secure."

"Good." Emmanuel was good about keeping a majority of his opinions to himself in this regard. I knew he wouldn't let me run too far from his belief system, but also knew that he trusted me as a clinician. "You didn't find it strange that they waited for the panel?"

I held out my finger to finish chewing my bite, but internally my voice was attempting to steady itself. Because he was correct, blood panels tend to be taken before MRI's to check out kidney function and overall health before being subjected to the radio waves of the machine, and due to conflicting recent reports that MRI's may impact blood drawn up to a week following the scan. But I had been the one to actually request it because it fit with the time period Claire would be available to pick up all blood samples from Oncology for the week thus far. We needed Jacob's blood samples to be with our adult samples for the smallest amount of time possible to prevent someone from noticing, and pick-up occurred right before lunch. For Emmanuel though, he needed a plausible explanation for what some in the field could see as disregard.

"They used his recent bloodwork to clear him for the MRI." I looked away to keep the focus away from my words, attempting to distance myself from them as well. "The eight vials or so they took today will be used to set his initial chemo levels in a few weeks, I presume."

"Eight?" Emmanuel questioned as I realized I had slipped in my need for separation. "Do you need me to pull what pediatrics requested? That seems like a hell of a lot for a check-up."

My head shook quickly, trying to find a valid reason for the three extra vials. "No, no. I mean, I'm not worried about it. After everything that happened in December, I've found that they typically explain their reasoning for their decision-making." I nodded, taking one more bite, "But you're right. I'll check to see if Alison took notes on what exactly those vials were for tonight. I must not have been paying much attention. Thank you for catching that."

My willingness to accept his suggestion disarmed him as I hoped it would. The sooner Jacob went into remission the better because it was already tedious to keep Claire and I on the same page. But with the introduction of Pediatric Oncology, Claire had used her ins with the head nurse to assure her that I was requesting extra blood to be drawn off the books for independent storage following Dr. Ramirez and Dr. King's potentially perceived neglect the year before in not telling Alison and Carter about the potential severity in his tumor placements. Neglect, that if during his surgery had been discovered to be detrimental, would have easily been a lawsuit. A mother of four herself, the head nurse understood the request and looked at me knowingly as she pulled the three extra unmarked vials during his blood panel earlier today. By this point, Claire would have already marked, scanned, and stored them within mere hours of extraction, hopefully causing no alarm bells to be raised across departments. Instead, I hoped the alarm bells would only remain in my own head. That my slips of the tongue would diminish along the way as I became more comfortable with my consistent deceit.

We moved back to our presentation soon after, allowing our brains to go back to the research. To go back to the security we both found in numbers and patterns and the inanimate truths of the living.

Lifting my steaming cup of coffee to my lips Thursday morning, I cherished the radiating heat rushing through both of my hands as I inhaled. I read through the detailed instructions sent to Alison's email the night before about logging in for Jacob's meeting and scoured the pages to ensure that I followed all necessary steps to make a username and password for their secure site. Thankfully, I had planned for the time it had taken thus far as I had discovered through experience that this private school was hellbent on making things more complicated than they ever needed to be. Having finished each of the steps, I settled into the chairs I had set up for Alison and I, now fifteen minutes out from the start of the meeting.

"I hope you know that it was incredibly cruel of you to dress like this today without my knowledge." Her arms draped over me from behind to wrap around my torso as her lips scaled from the side of my neck down to my shoulder. "I mean, I didn't even know you owned these pants."

Chuckling, I laced my hands through hers as her fingers cascaded down my black pleather pants. "Just got an early start to make sure we were all logged in. Didn't know it would be that important to you to see an olive green tank top and some black pants."

"Don't sell yourself short." She hummed into my side, smiling while nipping my neck. "It's the woman I love with straightened hair, a full face of makeup, and an olive green halter-neck tank top tucked into hip-hugging, tight black pants."

"Okay, baby. I love you, too." I laughed again, pointing behind me toward the kitchen, "I made you coffee and a toasted a bagel for your breakfast. You're going to be alright."

She turned my face upward for a short kiss, "You don't understand, Emmy. I wouldn't have let you leave the bedroom this morning if I had seen you in this."

My hand shoved against her shoulder, "Keep it in your damn pants, DiLaurentis. We have a goal today, and sadly, it has nothing to do with what you're proposing. Go get your breakfast. Meeting's in less than ten."

"I'm not done with you." She muttered, walking toward the kitchen.

"Would expect nothing less from you, sweetheart. Come on. I have our notes right here and confirmation from Carter that he's waiting in the front for them to bring him back."

I clicked the pen repeatedly, easing my mind as I heard Alison shuffling in the kitchen behind me. For a relatively easy meeting topic, anxiety coursed through my extremities. Alison centered my thoughts as she sat down to my left, grasping my hand in hers without thinking.

"Emmy. It's going to be fine. Relax for me."

She leaned over to kiss my temple as the meeting screen went from black to a white loading screening. Carter and two other women appeared on the other end. I hated to say it, but Carter looked kind of handsome in a gray sweater and baseball cap as he half-heartedly waved to the screen to console us on both sides of the meeting.

"Good morning, everyone." The lady directly to Carter's right began. I had never seen her before, but Alison nodded as though familiar. "I'm grateful that we were all able to attend this morning to discuss Jacob Schoen's educational plan for the remainder of the year. We'll start with introductions. My name is Mary Timms, educational director. Mr. Schoen?"

"Hi. Carter Schoen, Jacob's father." He pointed our direction through the screen, leading Alison to start the introduction we had worked through the night before.

"Hi everyone. Thank you so much for arranging for us to all be here today. I am Jacob's mother, Alison DiLaurentis, and this is my partner – "

She reached over placing her hand on my knee, delicately, "Emily Fields, participating today solely as an advocate for Jacob's education. I believe that Dr. King from – "

"Yes Dr. Fields!" We heard him through another speaker to the side, "So sorry for any confusion. Emily is, in fact, a colleague of mine. My name is Dr. Theodore J. King. I am the head of Pediatric Oncology at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore. I am participating today at the request of Jacob's parents to provide a better picture of Jacob's overall health and how we can best transition him back into the school day. Thank you for having me."

The director smiled replying to the room, "We appreciate you all making the time to be here. I'll allow the remain school representatives introduce themselves as well and then, we will get started."

Despite my initial anxiety, Alison quickly overtook my own as I felt her hand sweating in my palm. My thumb rubbed back and forth against the top of her hand before picking it up to place a short kiss against the side of our handhold. As the other people in the room made their introductions, my focus faded to Alison alone before Ms. Timms' voice re-entered our speakers.

"As we get this meeting started, I wanted to first hear from Jacob's parents to hear about their concerns and specific things we can be sure to address as a committee today."

Carter nodded to speak for the both of us, "Our only concern is what brought this meeting up today. We don't want him falling behind in school. And yes, the packets being provided weekly are all well and good. We appreciate them, but they do not appropriately help him be on grade level because he's not receiving the instruction needed to complete them. We would like to know how the difficulties we're currently having could be addressed as you all do not have specified Special Education department."

"Perfect." Ms. Timms replied, "Anything else we need to address today?" We all shook our heads as she then directed herself toward Dr. King. "Okay. Dr. King, could you get us started today and provide our staff here some more details on the specific procedure and findings Jacob underwent earlier last month?"

"Yes, of course. I will go back quite a few years first to explain that Jacob was found to have multiple cancerous growths in his brain when he was only 3 years old. At that time, he underwent surgery and radiation therapy which led to a remission of a few years. Though he began attended your school this Fall, one tumor on his brainstem and another on his spinal cord were identified this past June. Due to being smaller in size, they were not alerted to be an immediate concern. When change in size was detected in December, as well as by the request of Jacob's parents, a full resection surgery was scheduled for the tumor located on his brain stem. About 85 percent of that tumor was able to be removed during the surgery that took place January 8th, while the remaining 15 percent will be targeted during joint chemotherapy and immunotherapy that is starting at the end of this month or beginning of March. Though Jacob has been partially cleared, in terms of post-surgery protocol, he is still unable to leave his home, nor are the people he interacts with allowed to cross-contaminate." He coughed, "To the best of their ability, of course. From what Dr. Fields has relayed to me, that mostly involves multiple showers from all parties each day, but of course, these protocol will grow more severe as the chemotherapy all but destroys Jacob's immune system this Spring. From a doctor's perspective, a change in his expectations does not appear to be unwarranted or uncalled for, though his current circumstances are atypical for any student at any school."

"Thank you for that. First, as a school, we do extended our deepest sympathies your way for how difficult I'm sure the process has been for you." She looked directly at Carter as she spoke, unsure if she was intentionally not meeting the computer Alison and I were displayed on or not. "And while we do not have any contention with the remarks Dr. King just outlined, as a private school, we are not required to do more than we are already providing for Jacob."

"Despite your sympathies?" I muttered loud enough for the table in the school to hear, causing Carter to bite his lip as if in church to prevent a chuckle in disbelief in my outburst. Alison hit my hand under the table.

She raised a finger while starting to speak, "Excuse me." Alison leaned in, "Isn't it possible for him to qualify for something called Homebound services while he's out of school?"

The lawyer for the school replied, "If he were already in the Special Education program through services at a previous school, then we could request public school funds to provide those services following some further medical requests on our end. We do not have record of him qualifying for those services, is that correct?" Carter nodded on our behalf, "Okay, that's good to know. Then, Ms. Timms earlier point does stand. As a private institution, we are not required by law to provide anything further."

Alison sighed next to me, "What are our options then because this system isn't working?"

"A great next question." The lawyer replied, "This issue is that we cannot tell you what to do, nor are we allowed to advise you on next steps."

"Perfect." She muttered, "Does anyone in the meeting know what our options are that can tell us? This all started due to a meeting scheduled with Jacob's classroom teacher at the end of last month where she stressed that Jacob needed to be completing work or faced the potential of being retained in the 1st grade. We are simply trying to avoid that."

"Mrs. DiLaurentis?" We heard Dr. King's voice echo through our speakers, "I've been on these types of cases a time or two, and from what I recall, you have three options. First, request an evaluation through Special Education. It would be lengthy and time-consuming due to you all being located a state away. All of that probably would not be ready by the end of the school year, unfortunately, due to timelines and all. Second, you can transfer him to a public school and request Homebound services there. Once again, may be lengthy but there may be more wiggle room due to you being enrolled directly on that campus. And third, you can unenroll him from school entirely until next school year. He would mostly likely be required to repeat the grade, but as a family, you all could pursue a private evaluation outside of the school to bring to the school he attends next."

Carter's enclosed fist rested on the table, "Is that true?" He followed up Dr. King's statement directly.

"Well, our required policies in this case would not extend out of what – "

"So it's true." He pursed his lips, "I guess I'm just confused about why we're paying you thousands of dollars a month to send packets over email. The fact of the matter is that Jake will not be returning to school before the end of this school year, and we, as a family, need more support. Support that we are paying thousands of dollars for, on top of everything that comes along with his surgeries and chemo and home care services and – "

Ms. Timms coughed to interrupt, "We are not doubting the burdens that this diagnosis has placed on your family. What we can offer, along with the tutoring we discussed earlier this year, is an interventionist available an hour a day the remaining three days of the week that tutoring isn't offered."

"An hour?" Alison whispered crudely my direction, tightening her thumb around my hand, barely digging her thumbnail into me.

"And if an hour is insufficient?" I asked while attempting to pry Alison's thumb gently from my skin. The room went silent around my question, no solutions being presented. "Should Jacob and our family follow up on our end with attending tutoring and those intervention sessions throughout the rest of the year, and his progress is still insufficient, could we receive confirmation that Jake would be passed on to the next grade?"

Their lawyer paused, turning toward the principal to whisper. Carter's left eye raised while looking into the camera, wondering if our proposition would be accepted. Grade promotion was our end goal, especially knowing that Jacob wouldn't be attending the school after this year. Some cards deserved to be held close to the chest, and the three of us had agreed that we were willing to do just about anything for him to not be at risk for retention. Especially after all he had been through this year, repeating a grade would forever be deemed a punishment in Jacob's eyes regardless of how it may benefit him in the long run. We never wanted his cancer diagnosis to be seen as a negative, only a difficulty our family was meant to get through together. Jacob would only become stronger through this, would only look back and see our endless support.

"And we'll pay tuition." Alison interjected, "While only receiving an eighth of the hours of education each week, we'll pay tuition in full."

Carter and I looked at each other wide-eyed as Alison took our agreement a step further. But no sooner than our eyes meeting did Carter's initial surprise dissipate as he quickly began to nod. He was a fervent supporter of Alison's and I figured he always would be. Beyond all they had been through, he trusted her more than he potentially even trusted himself. And even more than that, in this instance, he wanted all of us to appear to be a united front. So without a second thought, my nod soon followed, along with a kiss against Alison's temple.

It took a few more rounds of back and forth, but less than a half hour later, we were finally being dismissed from the call. Alison sighed, collapsing against my shoulder the moment the beep of call rang through the speakers.

"Did we accomplish anything there?"

I understood her question. It felt like emotional tug-of-war with a child's wellbeing caught in the middle. It felt gross, especially as people who love Jacob unconditionally. His wellbeing wasn't a thing to be fought over; it was meant to be the thing all of us in that meeting fought for.

My arm snaked around her waist, pulling her closer, "We accomplished our goal, Ali. Seems like success to me." Her fingers groped my ribcage until a swathe of my shirt's fabric was able to be held. "Getting him healthy is more important than the debate the school started calling that retention meeting last month. Jake being taken care of is of utmost importance, and we did that today."

"This sounds terrible, but his education is literally one of the last things on my mind. I just want him alive and present and healthy and able. And it's heartbreaking that not everyone sees it that way."

"We do though, baby. The three of us do."

"Thank you for being here this morning." Her piercing eyes looked up at me. Both of us grateful for the temporary stability found in one another's arms. But no sooner than we made eye contact was it pulled away, "Oh, here's Carter. I have to take this."

I stood as she reached for the phone, "I understand. I'm going to finish getting ready and check on J. I'll be back down."

Alison's laughter was heard up the stairs moments later. Leave it to Carter to break the tension with what was bound to be an asinine joke or vulgar phrase. Turning into Jacob's room on the way to our own, I found him seated against his headboard delicately fiddling with a puzzle maze game. His blue eyes met me like his mother's just had, a smile spreading from ear to ear.

"Emlee! Come look!" He waved me over briefly before turning back to the large ball in his hand. "I made it to twenty-free!"

As a side gift for Jacob's birthday, I had purchased him this puzzle maze that required the user to traverse a series of obstacles throughout the maze to reach the center. Even I found it difficult, and Jacob had spent an extraordinary amount of time attempting to complete the task. I walked to the side of the bed, sitting casually to watch him attempt to balance the metal ball precariously on a small plastic lip between obstacle 23 and 24.

"You're making it further and further every day, Bug!"

His next question fell out as though he had barely considered it, his eyes never leaving his puzzle, "How mad did Mommy get at the meeting?"

My hand reached forward, instinctually attempting to comfort him, slightly pulling down his night shirt on the side to cover a patch of skin that had harmlessly become visible. "Mad? Mommy wasn't mad, J."

"Why she sound mad at the end?"

"I mean, we all just want you to be taken care of, no matter where you are. She wants what's best for you. And sometimes that makes her get frustrated."

His hands steadied as he looked up at me, "I go back to school?"

"No, baby. You're starting chemotherapy in the next few weeks, and school has too many germs to be safe for you." Jake shrugged, his face falling before simply looking back at his maze. "I'll let Mommy know to come talk to you about it today, okay? We understand that you're sad about it, and it's okay to be sad about it."

"Not sad, just appointed." He whispered, making me chuckle despite the devastation in his statement.

"Disappointed, J. The word is disappointed. And if she doesn't answer all your questions today, we'll be sure to answer them all tonight. Don't worry." I leaned forward, pressing a kiss against the side of his head. "You know, your first scar right here looks pretty badass over your ear like this." I traced the scar as Jacob's face turned back to me in surprise.

"E! You're not awowed to say dat!" He giggled, as I held my own surprised face, determined to get his mind off of his disappointment.

I mimicked his giggle while replying, "It was probably the wrong choice, but I'm happy you're smiling."

He lurched his head forward, whispering again, "I could tell Mommy, and you be in twouble."

I gasped, "You would tattle on me?! I was complimenting you, Bug." His laughter continued as I reached forward to tickle his sides into exhaustion. His puzzle maze falling onto the bed, seemingly losing his progress without regard.

"What in the world is going on up here?" Alison's voice interrupted behind us as Jake squealed.

"Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!"

I sat up immediately, wanting to stand, "Wait! I'll tell her; you got me. I'll tell her." As I walked toward the door, I looked over my shoulder at Jacob before dropping my voice, flirtatiously, "Hi, baby."

"Hi…" She muttered, questioningly as we briefly kissed, "What did you do?"

"Not too much." I replied in a sing-song manner, tracing one finger down the outside of Alison's upper arm opposite of where Jacob could see, "Jake was disappointed about not going back to school, so in my attempts to cheer him up –" I paused, looking back at him covering his mouth still giggling, " – Which as we can see, worked. I told him that his first scar, the one over his ear, looked badass."

Alison feigned shock, even as a small smile peeked through, "Emily!"

To my left, Jacob fell apart laughing again, "Mommy say your full name! I knew you be in twouble."

"I did get him smiling again…" I grinned back to her, kissing her right cheek.

"I do see that." She smiled, "And Jake, while you still shouldn't repeat was Emily said, adults do sometimes say words that kids shouldn't. It's not that the words are necessarily always bad to use, they're just words you don't fully understand how to use yet."

"So she not in twouble?" He pointed at me, confused.

Alison shook her head, "No, she is. But Emily and I are going to discuss it later today because she has to get to work."

Jacob giggled again behind us as I leaned back into her side, "You're so good at this." My voice mewled into her ear, "Can't wait to see how you choose to proceed."

"Emmy, stop." She hit my arm, jokingly. "Finish getting ready, please. You're a mess, opening up a whole can of words for no reason this morning."

"So sorry." I kissed her cheek once more. "My bad."

As I walked out of the room sheepishly, I could hear Alison further explaining behind me. I had only meant to distract Jacob from his daze, but I was able to tell that despite Alison's coy behavior toward me that she was taking the ordeal seriously with Jacob. It made me feel apprehensive though I knew that all in all there were no immediate repercussions. I proceeded to put my hair up from its straightened look into a ponytail while simultaneously adding small accessories to my outfit for the day.

While sliding on my heels and a leather jacket, I heard Alison's voice behind me, "Emmy…" As she spoke, her hands slid around my shoulders, her left slipping underneath the strap of my shirt and bra.

"Hi baby. What's up?" I looked over my shoulder to find her smirking. But as I met her eyes, confusion spread across my face. "Why in the world are you bringing that to me?"

In Alison's hands was Jacob's spherical puzzle maze, she tossed it aimlessly between her hands before passing it my way, "Well, after speaking to our son – " Her emphasis on our made me shirk, "He wanted to make sure you had something to keep you preoccupied should I 'take your electronics away'." Her smirk immediately following her smile put me more at ease as she officially passed off the maze to me. "Please apologize and give this back to him."

Carefully leaning to my left, I set the puzzle in my small hamper underneath my clothes rack, "I can definitely do that. I'm really so sorry, babe. I was just – "

"No, you're okay." Her nose nuzzled against mine as she pressed her body against me, attempting to align every square inch that she could. "He's heard worse, and he will continue to. I understand your intention, especially if he overheard any of our meeting earlier."

"You forgive me then?"

"Pfft." She guffawed. "Of course. The word 'badass' is the least of my worries, and to be honest, it is a fucking awesome scar." She leaned away, smirking even further, "You know, I was actually planning on coming in here to raise the stakes a bit…"

My fingers danced along her lower ribcage, "What stopped you then?"

"You didn't tell me a leather jacket would be a part of this ensemble."

Scattering small kisses across her forehead, I replied, "Am I too cute for you today? Are my astounding good looks stopping you in your tracks?"

"Yes and yes." She nodded firmly, "I'm so happy you've finally caught on to this idea that you in just about anything makes you more attractive than 90 percent of the population. Without question, more attractive."

"You don't say?" I raised my eyebrow questioningly.

Alison's voice dropped to nearly a whisper, "And that's with clothes. Without? You're unrivalled."

My hand sidled against her ass, gently etching my fingers up and down her jeans stitching, "Unrivalled? Ms. DiLaurentis!" I fanned myself sarcastically.

She smiled, leaning into my jawline as her lips peppered against my cheek, "And someday Mrs. Fields…"

"Yeah, baby. Someday Mrs. Fields." I giggled into her ear, adjusting myself against her, "Question. Is this like turning into a thing, or are you just tempting me with your physique without cause?"

"No cause to tempt with, only giving you a taste of your vent time tonight."

My hands immediately pressed against her sides, "Okay, then. You have to back away, or I'm closing the closet door and taking you right now."

Alison backed away even though she was laughing, "Don't tempt me with a good time."

"Whatever." I waved her away. "Fuck off."

"Love you too, baby." She snickered, pointing to Jacob's puzzle maze. "Apologize and give it back by the end of the day. I'm serious."

And even thought our conversation had been nothing but playful, I knew she was completely serious about tempering everything with Jacob.

As Alison, Jason, and Aria walked into our reserved area of the restaurant that Saturday, I smiled up at them from my seat at the end of the table, waving while politely standing to greet them. I had come to the restaurant an hour early to make sure everything was set up for the dinner party, leaving me in complete awe as Alison sauntered toward me. As we had decided a few days before during our haircut discussion, Alison's hair had been trimmed along with the addition of some lighter highlights now framing her layered hair. She looked stunning in a black jumpsuit with a pale pink floor-length coat.

"Hi, Emmy." She grinned, placing her hand plainly against the side of my neck and a short kiss against my lips. "I take it you like the haircut."

"You look beautiful." I kissed her cheek while pulling away, "Let me take your coat, sweetheart." While hanging it on the coat rack in the corner, I turned back, "So happy you both were able to make it down for the weekend."

Jason wrapped me in a quick hug before I moved on to hug Aria as she spoke, "Good to see you again, Emily. We need to work out you making it to us for Christmas this year. Make sure the whole family is there." Aria looked over her shoulder as we pulled away to look directly at Alison.

"That's the plan we've worked out so far. Right, sweetheart?" Alison looked up from across the table as she sat down.

I nodded. "That's right. December would have just been too soon. We'll be all set this year. How have you and Jace been?"

Alison and I set just off center to be able to maintain conversation across the 10-seat table. Slowly but surely, Emmanuel and Dominque, my assistant, Claire and her boyfriend, Owen, and our receptionist, Dalton, and his partner, Michael, arrived to fully fill the table. It was fascinating to me to watch both DiLaurentis siblings own the environment around them. Despite Alison only knowing half of the people in the room for potentially less than an hour collectively, and Jason knowing next to no one, they introduced themselves and made contact around the room with an ease I never possessed.

"They always like this?" I pointed, while laughing in the corner with Aria. "I mean, I saw Alison like this at the gala we met at, but I figured that was a persona-like thing due to being a figurehead at the event. But this is always?"

Aria chuckled in return, placing her hand on my forearm as she replied, "Oh, it's always. They were trained for this. They know no different than seeking praise in group situations."

"How do you mean?"

"Well, before their dad started his foundation, him and his father, their grandfather, were a part of a telecommunications firm that blew up in the late 90s with the introduction of the internet and everything that came along with it. Because of how new it all was though, their family hosted parties almost weekly to help with the start of their telecommunications products. I think Jason was maybe twelve being forced to interact with adults on a weekly basis at a level that exceeded what they should have been subjected to. It makes parties and moments like these kind of like another audition in the hopes of receiving praise from anyone. Makes them great for parties; you will honestly never have to worry about Alison at an event. But if you think about it too long, their ability to thrive comes from a pretty sad reality."

I nodded in understanding, "They do look at ease out there though. They look good."

"Oh no, they're excellent, Em." Aria and I remained leaning against the wall for a few more moments until Alison raised her eyes to find me across the room. She took her right finger and placed it on the outside of her hand holding her drink. And without breaking eye contact, Alison traced the outline of a heart on her hand, and then moved right back into her conversation with Dalton. Aria smirked next to me, "She loves you loves you."

"She's really fucking cute to me, yeah."

"I hope you know how much happier she seems to be with you. She's never done shit like this before, and I saw Alison with her first boyfriend. You know, nauseatingly sickening teenage lust? Yeah, it didn't touch what I just saw there for any amount of money."

I turned to face Aria before speaking, "I have heard that from Carter before, surprisingly. But, tell me more?"

"She just loves you differently than I've ever seen her love anyone else, which makes me think that you've tapped into something more real. I've only ever seen her love this way with Jacob. There's a tenderness in what she just did. A vulnerability. It's extremely cute to see her this in love again."

"I'm not sure how much of my relationship history Alison's relayed to you, but in my last long-term relationship, I was nearly engaged but was eventually cheated on. It was a lot. But even in that seven year relationship, we never collectively got to a place as vulnerable and real as Ali and I have made it to. I'd do cheesy shit for her the rest of my life for her eyes to find me across the room like they just did."

I reached for Aria's drink to fill it up with more champagne behind us before asking everyone to take their seats.

As Alison reached my side next to our chairs, she slid one palm just underneath my ribcage while kissing my cheek. "I missed you."

"You're so fucking cute." I replied, leaning back to pull out her chair.

From our left, Jason muttered, pointing at the two of us as she spoke, "Have they been this nauseating all night?"

"You have no idea." Aria laughed in return while reaching over to hold her husband's hand.

Sitting down next to me, Alison held my hand loosely as I still stood, "They're just jealous, baby." Her lips traced the back of my hand as her eyes shot joking daggers her brother's direction.

My speech for the evening, like so many facets of my life these days, started with laughter, "Hi, everyone. Hope you all were able to meet a bit before getting tonight started. Alison and I wanted to host something for all of the people who have been our biggest supports over the past few months. With both of us being new to Baltimore and our relationship being new itself, you all became a staple for us and provided stability in conversations and times we needed it most. So, thank you. For all you've done and all that you are unaware of doing. You deserve so much more than just a dinner; you each deserve the world. Thank you from us to you. Hope you enjoy the evening."

Throughout the course of the night, I enjoyed sitting back and watching other's fill in the essential space of any dinner party. My mind faded in and out of the conversations surrounding me, taking the necessary time to ingest all the different points of connection between guests.

"So Emily tells me that your family is from California?" Alison asked shyly from across the table.

Taking a sip of wine, Claire's eyes met mine in hesitation before replying, "Yes. Lived there my whole life before moving cross country for this opportunity."

"Wow. What part? Sorry. I've always been intrigued by the slower pace of the West Coast." Aria interjected.

Claire turned to her right to respond, "We're from the Costa Mesa area outside of LA. I miss it a lot, but I know this is where I'm supposed to be." Her nod was assured. There was more.

"I would hope it's where you're supposed to be." Her boyfriend, Owen, interjected. "We both moved out here pretty spur of the moment last Spring. It's been a transition for sure."

"What prompted the move?" Alison asked, intrigued, while reaching to hold my hand in her lap.

"The study." Claire answered, looking directly at me once again before gulping harshly, "My father passed away just over a year ago from actually a similar cancer to what Jacob was initially diagnosed with –" She paused as her words caught up to her head, "Sorry, Alison. Emily mentioned his initial report one day in the labs and due to the similarities, I looked into –"

"You're okay, love." Alison's vocal reassurance was met with a trace of her fingers against my palm, "I'm sorry to hear your father lost his battle, though."

"It was a long time coming. His battle was far more aggressive, but we fortunately were able to spend quite a bit of time with him before his passing. Um, and though I'm not sure how much I truly subscribe to it all, a few days after his funeral, the posting for lead research assistant opened through Pepperdine's academic opportunity alumni forum." She paused again, her eyes gleaming as she looked up at Emmanuel. "Onyeke saw his alma mater's name at the top of my resume which pushed my application to the top, and about a month later, Owen and I were on a flight with everything in three suitcases. So, in some ways, they'd call it destiny."

Alison's smile was plastered on as she listened, "It seems like a lot of the people surrounding this project were brought here in a moment of fate. Thank you for sharing that with us. It's reassuring to hear someone just as passionate as Emmy working with these patients that deserve answers."

"And hopefully, answers for your father someday." Aria reached across the table to place her palm on Claire's forearm.

Claire had previously shared her raw connection to our data, to our work, but it also innately connected her to me, to Alison, to Jacob. Her desire to help no matter the risk was tied to her own family's pursuit for understanding. She never asked questions because she knew I had already thought of and investigated all I could. She was the perfect person to have beside me, because like her, when it came to this work, we both felt like we had nothing to lose.

"Thank you for taking care of her the hours of the day I'm not there. I'm happy she's able to work alongside such passionate people." Alison noted, "And I hope you know how highly Emily speaks of you. You've kept things running over these past few months that Emily's been managing everything in our world as well."

"You have no idea…" Claire mumbled, sending rippling laughter through that end of the table. Little did they know that even in Claire's abundant vulnerability, that was the truest thing she had uttered all evening.

"You're looking pretty put together for a first time dad. What's the secret? Gotta take notes for whenever we're ready to start a family of our own."

Jason and Emmanuel were seated opposite from one another, posed similarly as they leaned back in their chairs with their arms crossed over their chests. They spoke like old friends, occasionally lifting their beers for a metaphorical cheers. Of those at this event, they seemed the most similar in many ways, despite starting on completely different planes.

Emmanuel reached his arm to his left around his wife's shoulders. "It's all based on the who, Jason. We would be nowhere without Dominique. She's the reason we're all still afloat."

"So that's the secret?"

"Isn't that always the secret? You're only as strong as the company you keep. A remarkable woman by your side is the only place to start."

Jason smiled looking to his left at Aria as she continued her conversation with Alison and Claire. His smile grew wider as she laughed next to him, inhaling her joy to exude it within himself. Inexplicably intertwined.

As Jason processed Emmanuel's sentence, I turned to speak, "Is tonight your first night out since Tres was born?"

"Nah, our families have been great about giving us time. Mostly time to nap while he naps, but tonight will be the longest time we've been out so far. Dom says her mom let her know that he's already asleep, so I think we're all good."

The words left my mouth before I was able to process them, wanting nothing more than to contribute to the conversation. The word family to me was still a tricky one because I knew I had a place within one, but I also knew that place was removed. No matter how close I would have preferred it to be, there was only so close that I could get beyond actual flesh and blood.

"If you ever need additional nights away, just let Ali and me know. We would love to give you two a date night." I hadn't cleared the proposal, but something deep inside me let me know that of the two of us, Alison would express minimal opposition.

Emmanuel reached his hand over to the top of my left hand, pulling away as it coincided with the hands Alison and I already had conjoined in a lop-sided hill in my lap, "Thanks for the offer, Fields. But don't the two of you already have a kid on your plate?"

I chuckled, endearingly. It was touching enough to cause Alison to lean her head onto my shoulder despite still listening to a conversation across the table, "We do. We definitely do, but how about we trade? Date nights, that is. It will require each of us to get a sitter of sorts one of the evenings…"

"But the other would be taken care of?"

"As long as you both are willing to shower at our home itself when you arrive." I looked across to table to find Jason still intently listening. "We still aren't sure how susceptible Jake is, so Ali and I have been trying to start the habit. It's not that we don't trust you." I stumbled over the words in my request.

But Emmanuel didn't hesitate. "You don't trust Jacob's immune system. I understand." He paused, looking over at his wife. "You know that I'm more than okay with that. Let me ask Dom, and if she has no objections, we'll come sit him this upcoming Tuesday."

My eyes widened, "Tuesday? Why so soon?"

Jason laughed across from us as Emmanuel leaned in, "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, Emily. But Tuesday is Valentine's Day."

I gasped, picking up my phone from my table before staring aimlessly back at the two of them, "Shit. We've been so busy planning our Monday meeting, and Ali and I just got back from a trip that I wasn't even considering –"

" – Considering what, baby?" Alison asked over her shoulder next to me.

Quickly kissing her shoulder, I replied, "I was just finalizing Onyeke and Dom coming over to watch Jake for Valentine's Day this week. Leave the plans to me."

Jason made a seemingly subtle thumbs up while he and Emmanuel shared knowing glances, "It's gonna be great, Al."

"Really?" She sat up to turn toward me, grinning from ear to ear, "Love you, Emmy. You treat me so well." Alison kissed just next to my ear as she whispered.

"Fuck." I whispered between Emmanuel and me as Alison returned to her conversation, "Thank you for saving my ass. You sure you won't piss Dominique off?"

He shook his head gently, reaching for his whiskey, "We've had over a dozen Valentine's Days together. You two lovebirds deserve to have your first without any complications. Don't worry. Either just me, or the both of us, will be at yours by 6:30 Tuesday."

"Thanks. Let me know when you need the two of us."

Emmanuel replied quickly, "The 25th. It's our anniversary."

I laughed, finally putting all the pieces together, "I doubt it sometimes, but you are so much smarter than I am."

"Won't disagree with that one. Cheers to that, Jason!"

I rolled my eyes watching the boys clink glasses. Though grateful for being given a three day notice for our first Valentine's Day, I was more in awe of the people I now had in my corner. The people who had taken me in those first months before meeting the woman next to me. They took care of me and watched out for me in ways that only my closest relatives and friends ever had. And in that way, I had more family in Baltimore than I ever could have imagined having when I moved here 8 months ago.

The air within the party lightened as time went on. As people started building actual connections around the table, I found myself drifting between conversations more and more. You see, I've always been the person who, more than their own happiness, craves to see the happiness of others. The inexplicable joy that exudes off of someone's face as they laugh without pretense. Being so removed that you're able to see all of the emotion others try to hide, from vulnerability or judgment or fear.

And so, I settled into that space. The one carved out by vulnerabilities being expressed, judgment being faced, fear dissipating into the air. And I watched as strangers became acquaintances. As coworkers became friends.

"You've been quiet tonight, love." Alison ushered my direction after some time with silence between us, "You okay over here?" She nudged my shoulder, a smirk crossing her lips.

Leaning toward her, I kissed her cheek before speaking, "I'm just soaking it all in. It's been a great night."

"You're right; it has been." She curled into me, soaking up the silence in our bubble. "Thank you for organizing my idea, Emmy. Getting to know Claire more made the whole night worth it."

"Isn't she great?"

"She is. Lived up to every idealized version I had of her personality in my head." Alison exhaled deeply, "It's cute that Onyeke is willing to come watch Jake for Valentine's Day."

"Mmm-hmm. We're watching the baby on the 25th for their anniversary."

"Watching the baby?!" She perked up.

"Yep, that was the trade."

Short kisses spread up from the middle of my upper arm to the bottom of my neck, "What a perfect trade! Tell me this. From one to ten, how perfect of a night was –?"

Emmanuel's strong palm hit my lap as his voice rose, breaking through mine and Alison's previously impenetrable bubble. "Repeat that. What the fuck did you just say?" His raised voice was unmistakable, steady and unwavering.

Everyone at the table sat up in immediate attention, all turning Dalton's direction. He had quickly gone completely white, scrambling for his remaining silverware to distract from the 9 pairs of eyes now firmly locked on him and him alone.

Michael clung to his sleeve, as Dalton cleared his throat, looking directly at Claire, "I promise I didn't know that they didn't –"

"Rewind and start from the top, Dalton." I interjected, as I watched Claire's face drop accordingly as if knowing what was happening before even I did.

Emmanuel started standing, unbuttoning his coat jacket, as he started the sentence for Dalton in his inability to, "The lab work, from last week. There was an error." Emmanuel ushered his arms back toward the head of the table where Dalton sat.

"To be fair, I believed you both to be aware of the discovered error. It was discussed at the Friday – "

Claire waved from across the room, " – They were working on their board meeting presentation." She looked into her lap, adjusting the napkin in her lap, "Look, don't be mad at Dalton. The info was sent to him as a part of what was screening Thursday evening. We discussed it Friday, and because you both were out, we figured that it could wait until Monday." She stared at me, aghast.

"Can one of the two of you please just say it again? Explain it." Emmanuel propped both hands onto the chair in front of him.

My head snapped back and forth waiting to see who would speak first. It was Claire. "Umm. Dr. Fields, one of the samples. One of the blood samples taken Wednesday. Well, it was found to test cancer positive."

I bit my lip immediately. "Fuck. You do realize that we report out on Monday?" The words came from Emmanuel behind me. "So, you're telling me that a patient in our sample, who is above the age of 35, and has been in remission for over 7 years tested cancer positive over the two week variance between the last their blood was tested and this past Wednesday?"

Dalton nodded, "Correct."

"After we told these people to go off medication in order for them to trust us in their gene sequencing? You know that's damn near impossible, right?"

"Correct." Claire replied, looking up at me once more, attempting to read my eyes in desperation. "But, it's what yesterday's numbers said. I don't have much more than that. One patient. Blood taken Wednesday, tested Thursday, reported Friday."

Without warning, I broke into tears at the table. Claire reaching forward despite being too far away to try and soften the blow. My teeth bit into my bottom lip as though being hit by a moving train. Alison pulled away in shock of my reaction. My reaction was visceral. A visceral reaction was the only option that escaped me.

Because Emmanuel was right. After over 7 years of remission, the reoccurrence of cancer was less than one percent. We told our patients to trust us for an additional year. One year to trace their full genetic sequence. One year to compare that to cancer cells that may still remain in their blood. It was statistically improbable that of the millions of cancer survivors in the world that one of them would enroll to be one of the less than 500 participants in our just starting study, and that in the exact 8 months of our study, would over the course of the past two weeks since their blood test, become cancer positive.

Unless it wasn't one of the patients of our study. Unless it was someone else. Someone else whose sample had been added. Had been mixed and submitted to hide among the data of those being included weekly. Whose blood had also been taken Wednesday. Had been tested Thursday. Had been reported on Friday. Claire hadn't said a damn thing because of how statistically improbable the alternative was. How impossible the alternative would be to say aloud. Aloud to me.

Because the alternative meant that our hopes and prayers weren't heard. The alternative meant that surgery had only delayed the inevitable. Removed everything but what was essential. That the discovered astrocytes had morphed into more. Because statistically speaking, there was no way in hell that sample was one of our patients.

Statistically speaking, that sample could only be Jacob's.

A/N: Alright, then. I'll just be seeing myself out now. Missed you guys, more than you know. Thank you for reading.

I hope you all are well. And if not, my PMs are always open. Seriously. :)

Read. Review. Favorite. Pass Along.

Until next time,

secretpen28