Summary: This one's a bit different. After having written the last chapter, I feel like this one was in order, so I wrote it. It's not ordered like what you're all used to, hope you enjoy it

Disclaimer: I don't own DC

Dick could remember the fall as if it were yesterday. Curse his photographic memory.

It had been a whole year, and somehow, it still rung in his head. He had the same dream most nights this past year, but today it was more than just dreams, it was all he could see. Bruce and Al had been fantastic, all year round and especially today, but he just...he couldn't get it out of his head. His "friends" at school were also helping, but even they couldn't help get his mind off things.

Bruce had offered him a day off from school, training, patrol, everything, but Dick declined. He didn't want to make this day seem any more significant than it was, so he just sucked it up and went along with it. Of course, teachers and faculty were informed of his...predicament, which he had to admit wasn't very asterous. Everyone was overly nice, which he despised. He didn't need their sympathy, he didn't want it. Sympathy wouldn't bring his parents back, would it? At least Bruce could relate to his pain, these people knew nothing. And here they were, trying to pity him. He was having none of it. Barbara was doing her best, but even she couldn't get him to open up! Maybe because she didn't fully understand it either. And that new kid, Luke Fox he thinks was his name, he was trying to help as much as he could, but he didn't really know Dick all that well. He'd been around for a few weeks, he met Dick at a gala once with his dad, but they weren't exactly friends yet. Barbara was really his only friend, and if she couldn't get him to open up, nobody at school could. Bette Kane tried, but that was more so just to keep up her reputation as the model student. She was nice enough, but she never took the time to really befriend Dick.

It was nothing short of a miracle that Dick got through school and back home in one piece. He made a beeline for his room, he didn't want to be around others right now. Alfred frowned before going to cook the boy a meal. Perhaps french toast could help his mood.

Hours later and Dick hadn't so much as touched the meal Alfred had laid on his table. Bruce could hear the quiet sobs from his room, and Alfred closed his eyes in mourning. "Master Bruce, I really believe you should do something. The boy needs you. I have tried to help him, but it just is not the same, sir. He needs someone who he can relate to." Bruce sighed. He had kept his distance because he wasn't really sure what to do with Dick. It was no secret that the Batman wasn't the most in sync with his emotions, but the boy was practically his son. He had to try something.

"I know. I'll talk to him." The Dark Knight quietly entered Dick's room, sitting down next to him and placing a hand on his shoulder. He struggled to find words for the Boy Wonder, and so he just offered Dick a shoulder to cry on. Grayson slowly calmed down and apologized for his outburst. He knew how...cold Bruce could be at times, he really didn't want to annoy him. "It's alright, Dick, trust me. I get it. I still miss them, too." Grayson looked up to Bruce.

"H-how did you g-get the nightmares to stop?" Bruce sighed.

"I…I didn't. I'm sorry, Dick, I'm not…I'm not exactly the beaming example of a healthy mind. Dick nodded sorrowfully, and Bruce frowned. He placed a hand on his shoulder, remembering a conversation he had with Hal the other day. "A…friend of mine, he gave me some advice. It won't work for me, but it could for you." Dick looked to his mentor. "In situations like ours, it's hard to maintain hope that it'll all turn out okay. But…having something as simple as a beacon or a symbol of hope could go a long way. My friend, he sees his powers as that beacon. It's different for everyone, I can't give you a beacon of hope and make you connect to it, but if you ever feel lost, just…try to remember this. I hope you find what you need." Dick wiped his tears before surprising Bruce with a hug. The Caped Crusader stiffened in shock before smiling and hugging him back. Dick took that advice to heart, and unbeknownst to Bruce, he already had a beacon of hope in his mind. Most would view him as a symbol of fear, but to Dick, he represented something different. He represented the fact that no matter how bad things look, Justice will always prevail. The Batman will always prevail, and that was enough for Dick to feel safe. And his mourning wouldn't stop here, far from it, but at least he could have some semblance of hope again. He could learn to smile, despite his tragedies, and he had nobody to thank for that other than the man who had devoted a year to his well-being and happiness.

Wally was fantastic. Dick couldn't find a better friend in all of the multiverse if he tried. The others were great too, but Wally…Wally was like his surrogate big brother. He was always there for him, through thick and thin, and Dick was more than grateful for it. Donna was more or less his sister, and Roy was one of his best friends, too but they'd recently been a bit preoccupied with each other. Kaldur was a great inspiration for him, but he felt awkward talking to him about matters like this. And Kara was sweet as hell, and Dick kinda sorta had a tiny thing for her, but she was too reserved at times to be a real help. Wally was really his closest confidante, occasionally even more than Babs or Bruce.

The rest of the Sidekick Squad had gone out for dinner, and Kara had asked where Robin was. Everyone looked to Wally, his best friend, and he just shook his head and told them to drop it. "Today's a…hard day for him." Donna offered to go find him, but Wally declined. "Nah, nah, he'd want you to have fun today. Don't worry about him, he's gonna be just fine. I'll go talk to him." He sped off before anyone could argue, and the others just awkwardly sat there, unsure of whether or not to help find their Boy Wonder.

Wally found Dick on a ledge in Gotham, one he had taken the speedster to before. Dick loved this rooftop, it gave him a full view of the city. The redhead was cautious and slowly approached the raven as he just sat there, letting out the occasional sob and muttering in Romanian. While Wally didn't understand the language, he knew he was talking to his parents. He sat down next to his friend and wrapped an arm around his shoulder.

"G-go away, W-Wall."

"No can do, bro. Not till you come with me." The two sat there in silence, and Dick appreciated it. Wally, like most, didn't understand the pain Dick went through, but unlike the others, he didn't pity him. Everyone else, even Barbara, occasionally looked down at him and saw him as a broken boy. Wally didn't. He knew his friend's inner strength, he didn't think he was helpless by any means. And Dick appreciated it. It's why he was okay with the speedster being here for his weak moments. He would push everyone else away, sometimes even Donna, but not Wally. The speedster stood by him without question, and never judged him for breaking down or showing weakness.

Eventually, Dick spoke. "I-I still m-miss them. I kn-know it's b-been l-like three y-years, b-but I can't-"

"You don't have to explain to me, dude. It's okay. But…maybe your parents would want you to be happy right now. I know it's the last thing you wanna hear, but it's true. And your friends are waiting for you. We all care about you, man. C'mon, let's get your mind off this stuff, you gotta smile. I know it's hard, but I'll help you. Promise." Dick smiled softly as he clasped Wally's open hand with his own and let himself be pulled into a hug.

"L-let's go. Last one there's paying." Wally smirked.

"You're on."

And Dick may not have fully let go of his pain that night, but by the time he and Wally had finally made it back to the others hours later after getting sidetracked with their shenanigans, his heart certainly felt a bit lighter than it was in the morning.

Zatanna was concerned.

Since morning, she had been missing the Boy Wonder's cheery personality. Sure, he could have been on a mission with Bruce, but she just had a feeling in her gut, a feeling that said Dick needed help. And not physical help.

There were only two people who knew where Dick was. Wally and Bruce. As much as Batman was warming up to her, she would be lying if she said she didn't feel a bit awkward asking about his son. That's definitely a conversation I wanna save for after we're dating. I-I mean, y' know, IF we ever date. God, I'm pathetic. Zatanna ignored the blush rising to her cheeks as she considered asking Wally instead. It WOULD be ten times more awkward. But if he tells Arty about this, I'm gonna magically bind them together by the hip. Who am I kidding, they'd probably like that.

Zee asked Wally where he was, and instead of teasing her like she expected, he actually seemed mournful. "He's…alone right now. Today's not a good day for him." Zatanna glared at him.

"Where is he?" Wally gulped. The magician was quite scary when she wanted to be.

"I-I'm sorry, Tanna, I c-can't tell you." Zatanna's glare darkened.

"Unless you want me to turn you into a snail, you'll tell me where he is." Wally started coughing and nervously rubbed the back of his neck.

"O-okay! Okay, fine! But…if I tell you this, you have to promise not to tell anyone else. And you have to help him! He needs it, and you might be the only other person here who understands." Zatanna nodded, and Wally sighed. "He's up by the mountain. On the porch that was carved out for a zen garden. Zatanna beamed at Wally and hugged him briefly before springing off. Dick had taken her up there once to just watch the stars together. It was really kinda romantic of him, though she didn't think that was his intent, they were just friends, right? Sometimes, they could both be so oblivious to their feelings for each other.

Zee found Dick by the mountaintop. He was curled up into a ball and let a few sobs escape his mouth. His glasses were to the side, and Zatanna instantly felt out of place. She had never seen him cry before. Well, she had, but only once, on his 14th birthday a few days ago. He was crying over his...Oh my god, now it all makes sense. This is why he's been so touchy! His…his parents…

Zatanna felt a pang of guilt for interrupting such a mournful moment, but she couldn't stand seeing Dick like this. He had been there for her without question since she lost her father, no matter the situation. He would stay up nights she had a nightmare because he would hear her crying and be there till she fell asleep again. He would always provide a shoulder for her to sob on whenever Nabu visited the cave for League business. He would bring her comfort food and sit with her whenever he noticed she wasn't with the others during movie nights because he knew what she was doing in her room alone. Hell, he even told her his most guarded secret the night she lost her dad because he wanted her to know he could help! How could she not be there to help him in return?

"R-Robin?" Dick didn't jump, he knew someone was there. He just didn't expect it to be the beautiful sorceress. He tried to hide his face from her, but she sat next to him, placing a hand over his own. "A-are you-"

"G-go away, Zee. P-please." Dick didn't want to sound like an ass, but he really didn't want the gorgeous raven to see his weakness. He didn't want her to see him as a broken boy. Zatanna was unflinching, though.

"Not till you tell me what's wrong." Dick looked further away from her, but Zatanna simply wrapped her arm over his shoulders to try and pull him close to her. They both ignored the heat rising to their cheeks, and Zee smiled so sweetly to him that he couldn't help but let his own mouth twinge upwards a tiny bit. She really was just…amazing. Something as simple as her smile could brighten his whole day. Dick felt his heart stop a bit as Zatanna's glimmering blue eyes shined towards his own exposed blues, and he looked down, doing his best to control his feelings. He didn't want to break down in front of his crush.

"I…I c-can't, Zee. I'm s-sorry." Zatanna narrowed her eyes and frowned, she wasn't taking no for an answer.

"Yes you can. You were there for me all this time. Let me be there for you, please. I just wanna help you." Dick looked back up to face the sorceress, seeing the sincerity in her eyes, and something about her just made him know he could trust her with this.

"O-okay. B-b-but please, d-don't-"

"I swear. I won't tell anyone." Dick gave her a watery smile and dropped his tense expression, letting himself tell the magician about his parents. Zee was thoughtful and understanding the whole time, she was the only one on the team who truly knew what he was feeling, and she was there to offer a hand and a shoulder whenever he felt like breaking down. "A-and I kn-know it's b-been like f-five years, but I j-just can't stop thinking about it." Zatanna pulled Dick into a hug, which he gladly reciprocated as he choked a bit mid-sentence. "I'm s-sorry. I-"

"You don't need to explain to me, Dick. I get it. I've been there." Zee broke off the hug and wiped a tear off his eyes. It felt so wrong seeing Dick like this, he was always so...in control. She should have known it was an act he put on for the others, she did the same thing. But now that she knew, he couldn't hide it from her, not anymore. "And you were the one who pulled me out of my misery. I'm not leaving until you're ready to leave with me." Dick smiled at Zatanna, and she wiped his eyes a bit more and gave him a peck on the cheek before lying on her back. He blushed a scarlet red before grinning like a goofball and lying down next to her, wiping the leftover tears from his eyes and slowly entwining their fingers together, almost as if he was asking for her permission to touch her. She gave his hand a gentle squeeze before scooting a bit closer to him, and he smiled sweetly at her before turning to face the sky, letting out a shaky breath and letting go of all his pent-up emotions. He forgot about all the pain, all the stress, and in that moment, he allowed himself to be a normal kid with a schoolboy crush on the most beautiful girl he'd ever laid eyes on.

The two spent all evening just staring at the sky, sending each other subtle looks and smiles, and for the first time since his family had been murdered, Dick actually felt all the pain melt away.

Even after all this time, Dick was still struggling with it.

He hadn't broken down and cried in nearly 5 years at this point, he was doing far better about keeping his emotions in check now, but every now and then he felt the sudden urge to yell at the heavens and drop to his knees in sorrow. But he didn't.

A good chunk of that was due to his girlfriend. They had gotten back together nearly 2 years ago at this point, and to be honest, he couldn't be happier for it. Possibly his biggest regret in life was letting Zatanna go for that brief time period after Jason died, but once he pulled his head out of his ass, he promptly fixed things with her, and now they were closer than ever. Back when they were kids, Dick and Zatanna shared a special type of bond, one most other couples could only dream of, and now, as fully matured adults, their connection had only strengthened.

However, even with his soulmate's support, Grayson found it difficult to move forward with all the baggage he had to carry with him. He had been through so much. Only last week the Titans freed him from the mind-prison the Court of Owls had put him in after he was shot in the head, the most recent of his traumas, but before then, he had to deal with his girlfriend going into a coma, his surrogate father being paralyzed, his best friend "dying", his own brother being beaten to death, and his parents. Let's not forget his parents. 15 years later and he remembered it as if it were yesterday. Sometimes, his memory was just...

Dick had been getting much better with dealing with the pain, but he was not done yet. He still felt an aching emptiness in his chest from time to time. Recently, he'd been visiting their graves on the anniversary. It was healthier than breaking down and crying, he thought. Last year, he brought Zatanna to the cemetery with him. He remembered so vividly how his heart soared as his girlfriend went on and on, telling his parents amazing things about their Boy Wonder. If only they could be alive to meet her, Dick had no doubt they would love Zee. Everyone loved Zee, he knew that from experience.

This year, the 15th anniversary, Dick paid another visit to their graves. This time, though, he was alone. Zatanna had a show she just couldn't miss, and Dick, being the most understanding boyfriend ever, was okay with it. He went to the cemetery on his own, and he sighed as he looked down to them. He had made his peace with their fall a long time ago, but seeing them now was still difficult to say the least. It was like they were right there, just out of his grasp. He knelt down and rested a hand on his mother's grave, smiling.

"Hey, guys. 'S been a while."

Dick talked on and on for hours, not missing a single detail of his past year. He knew they couldn't hear him, but just getting to talk to them helped ease the burden on his soul. Pretty soon it was getting dark, but Dick didn't care. He had stopped talking, but he was still absorbed into the two gravestones staring him in the eyes. He was so absorbed, in fact, that he didn't even notice the lithe figure approaching him from behind. That is, until she bent down, kissed his head, and sat down next to him, taking his hand in her own and leaning her head on his shoulder. "H-hey. What time is it?"

"Late. I thought you could use some help here." Dick smiled a bit at his girlfriend's determination as she scooted closer to him and made herself comfortable. She made it clear right away she wasn't going anywhere without him, which he was grateful for.

Zee didn't say a word as the two stared at the graves. She knew nothing she said would matter anyways. She just held his hand in between her own and kissed his cheek every time she felt him tense up or grow colder. She eventually turned to him, noticing the longing look in his eyes, and she felt her heart break. The irony that he saved so many families from suffering the same fate as him and yet couldn't hug his own parents was cruel. Whenever Zatanna felt the same longing for her own family, Dick was always there to remind her that she had someone who loved her. She wanted to be able to do the same for him. "Hey, y'know if you wanted, I could call in a few favors, get Spectre to somehow bring your parents back for a day." Dick smiled at the offer, but shook his head.

"Nah, it's okay. I don't think it's necessary. I'm getting better, it's just...so slow." Zee nodded and turned his head to kiss him on the lips.

"No rush. Take as long as you want, I'm right here. I won't let you be alone." Dick smiled and kissed her forehead before resting his own head on hers. "I love you, Dick." He knew. No barrier could hide their feelings towards one another, their connection was far too pure.

"Love you, too."

After about 5 minutes, Dick let out a shaky breath and looked to her. "Okay, I think I'm ready." Zatanna looked to him quizzically.

"You sure? Don't worry about me, I'm not gonna go anywhere without you, you can-." He brought her face up to him, pecking her on the lips to silence her and devoting the cute little yelp of surprise she made to memory. She crawled into his lap, sending him falling into the soft snow with laughter spilling into the kiss. He wrapped his arms around her to deepen the intimacy, and in that moment, in his girlfriend's arms, he let himself be carefree and painless again. All the sorrow, the longing for his parents, it was still there, but somehow, the moment the gorgeous magician touched him, it all just dissipated. Even his darkest inner voices silenced themselves at the sorceress's request. She was the only one who could make him this…normal.

They broke off the kiss before diving back in, each time becoming a little more heated, and after almost 2 minutes in the snow, Zatanna pulled back and raised an eyebrow at him, feeling something poke at her thigh.

"Do you have something in your pocket?" Dick smirked.

"No, I'm just happy to see you." Zee giggled before standing up and throwing him a suggestive look.

"Let's get back home and I can help you with that." Dick smirked as Zatanna walked off to the car sultrily, and he reached into his pocket, feeling the small red velvet box. That was close. I should probably get this thing outta here soon. Grayson let go of the box and stood up, looking back to his parents graves. He smiled and nodded to them before running after his girlfriend, hopping into the car next to her and letting his thoughts drift away from the pain and misery and onto the beautiful woman by his side. He would have an important question to ask her in four days, he'd better rehearse a bit before then.

Feel free to leave comments or suggestions for chapters you wanna see. Next chapter up soon.