Note: This fic is a couple months old at this point. I have a bunch of NEW fics up on my AO3 page, including all the fics I wrote for UsaMamo Week 2021, another Original Lifeline 'verse fic (this one lemon-y) and the rest of this fic.

I'm posting this because posing just an udpate is against ff dot net rules (but what are they gonna do, kick me off?)

I'm posting this to give you the first chapter of a fun fic that finishes up on Ao3.

I'm posting this to let everyone who follows me know i'm leaving ff dot net. I did it quietly back in June, decided it was silly to make a Big Announcement about it. But, I realized some people on ff dot net might want to read my new stuff, and if they didn't know to go to archive of our own dot org to get it, they wouldn't see it.

Archive of our own is made for fans, by fans, and I support it with my whole heart.

meanwhile,

FF dot net used my fic to place advertisements for the fucking TRUMP campaign.

I am done with this site. I'm thankful for all it gave me, I wish it well, but yeah. It's no longer where I want my fanworks to be.

Come find me on Ao3. I'm Antigone2 there just like here. I cannot link directly because, once again, ff dot net doesn't allow this.

But I hope you come find me there. And find a whole new, fandom friendly website just waiting for you. Message me if you want invites to post, I have those too.

Fic-specific notes:

This is based on josei manga, so that means a few things:

1. totally off the wall shit happens and it's just meant to be seen as normal

2. short bursts of action in short chapters (so yes, more is coming lol)

3. R-but-not-X-rated sex (eventually)

Anyway, this is for FloraOne who requested a story based off the least problematic Adult XXX manga I've ever seen, Overc*mming Writer's Block, which is availabe on erenta, and no I'm not getting sponsored for this (but if you are interested, erenta, hmu).

THIS FIC HAS BEEN HEAVILY EDITED SO I COULD PUT A LOWER RATING IN. IF YOU WANT THE FULL VERSION HIT UP AO3

Chapter 1

First, do no harm

Fuming, Usagi Tsukino stomped out of the Juuban hospital offices with no regard for who she shoulder bumped or knocked aside, or who scrambled from her path despite having arms full of charts.

"That perverted old man!" she muttered. "I wish I'd thrown that mug of coffee right in his face!" The coffee he'd asked her to get, as if her double X chromosomes made her his secretary instead of a visitor carrying a press badge.

The cute little jingle from her purse was incongruous with the dark look on her face as she flipped open her dinosaur of a cell phone to see the line chat with her coworkers at JosieX. "How did it go, Tsukino?"

"Mari-sensei is asking where you aaaareeee"

"Hurry back okies :3"

She clenched her teeth and shoved the pink phone back into her bag after typing a quick "omw", forgoing even her usual stream of emojis.

How was she supposed to tell her coworkers the doctor she was meant to interview for JosieX's newest comic was a sexist douche who implied that the problem with women today was not 'keeping their knees together until marriage, if you know what I mean,' and that attempting to incorporate safe sex into a josei manga plot was laughable in the first place.

"Why'd he even agree to the consult if he was just gonna be like that?" Usagi thought. And also, was there literally no female doctor available to talk to? If she wasn't on thin ice as her job as it was, she'd log a complaint.

Too bad her high school friend Ami, a med student herself, was all the way in Germany, where it seemed to Usagi to be perpetually 3 in the morning whenever she tried to call. Usagi's stomach growled, reminding her of the breakfast she'd missed while running late this morning.

In fact, her late arrival was the very reason she was the one who had to go on this stupid consult anyway, her coworkers having already begged out when she'd run through the door. Funny how all of JosieX's female leads are all well-meaning screw ups, Usagi, the actual well-meaning screw up, was punished for it.

"Ugh, what am I gonna dooo?!" she moaned out loud, before slamming face-first into a brick wall and stumbling backwards.

It took her a moment to recover from the blinding ache across her nose, but when she did, she realized that oddly, the brick wall had hands that had reached out and caught her by the upper arms, keeping her from landing on her ass on the sidewalk.

Usagi blinked her blurry eyes open and craned her neck back (waaay back, Brick Wall was certainly tall) to see a face so handsome as to be deeply unfair to mere mortals.

"Watch it," he said, and annoyance flared in Usagi's chest.

"I'm fine, by the way, thanks for asking," she managed to say, stepping away as he released his grip on her.

"I didn't."

Charming.

From her bag, her phone sang a cute little tune in the most distressingly urgent of ways. "Well, this was lovely, but I have to go lose my job now, so-"

She made to step around him, but her eye-level happened to be the middle of his broad chest, blue button shirt and a Juuban hospital doctor's ID hanging around his neck on a lanyard.

Oh, sorry, Usagi thought, I should've called you Dr. Brick Wall.

"Wait!" Usagi grabbed his sleeve as he tried to walk past her. "I- I need your help!"

She wasn't normally this pushy but desperate times… maybe she could get something out of this guy - enough that she didn't have to return to JosieX empty handed. There was no guarantee he wouldn't be as much of a sexist asshole as the old guy, but at least this was more anonymous.

He raised an eyebrow at her hand on his sleeve - that pretty, pretty face still expressionless.

With his other hand, he reached over and curled long, tapered fingers over Usagi's hand, removing her grip from him. "I'm not really-," he started, voice coolly dismissive. Then, something changed. His frown turned thoughtful, and he shifted his gaze to Usagi's - looking her in the eyes for the first time.

She forgot how to breathe. He let go of her hand.

Then, he glanced at his watch then back at her, eyes still narrowed, searching, wary. Curious. "What is it?"

Usagi wolfed the omurice down, barely stopping to take breaths. Hey, she was starving, okay? Meanwhile, Dr. Brick Wall (Dr. Chiba, she amended in her head, not that it really mattered) was looking at her Q&A sheet, tapping those distractingly nice fingers on the table top.

"I'm not surprised old man Kaito acted how he did," Chiba murmured, eyes still on the paper. He'd barely touched his tea. "He's a known jackass." He lifted blue eyes to hers, expression still unreadable.

It was clear he didn't feel the need to apologize for his colleague, Usagi thought. Then, she pushed down her annoyance. He was helping her, even though he just got off a swing shift at the hospital. Why was she harping on every little thing he did? Get it together, she told herself.

"So, anyway, the idea is that the publisher has this initiative to incorporate more 'safe sex' into these comics, since the audience it reaches-"

"There's more to safe sex than just prophalytics," he interrupted. "I appreciate the fact that the mangaka is making condoms a point, but sexual health is much more complicated than that."

Usagi's eyes widened. Somehow she was unprepared for the frank air in which this (far too good-looking, youngish) stranger was talking to her. As if he was discussing the weather.

Which is what she'd wanted of course, she reminded herself. This wasn't a freaking date.

"So… what… what do you suggest I bring back to her?" She flipped the paperwork halfway back around, so they could both see the questions, and pulled a bright pink bunny-topped pen out of her purse.

Chiba had been taking a sip of his tea and he choked a little, swallowing the hot liquid a little too fast.

"What?" she said, looking at him with a perplexed, defensive expression.

"Nothing," he said, wiping his face with a napkin. "Your… your pen…"

Usagi looked at the little x-mouthed bunny adoring the top of the pink sparkly writing implement. "So?"

"It's just… so childish."

At her glare, he at least had the grace to look suitably abashed.

"What, is it illegal to write about this stuff with a Sanrio?" Usagi snapped.

The sip of tea he took didn't hide his smirk. "Just amusing."

She rolled her eyes, and returned to her notes and they managed to keep it civil for the next twenty minutes, as discussions rolled from consent to foreplay to various birth control methods, with an aside into why manga in general censored certain things and not other things.

All the while she took scribly, messy notes in her loopy handwriting with her pink bunny pen, and sometimes he'd reach over and add something here or there with immaculate kana (guess he didn't fit the doctor stereotype of bad handwriting, Usagi noted) using a silver Montblac pen he'd pulled from his shirt pocket.

"So, anyway, I'll pay," Usagi said a while later, standing up and digging through her purse for her wallet.

"Expense it," Chiba suggested, putting his cup down delicately and standing as well.

"What, do you want a consulting fee now?" Usagi muttered around the pen she had clamped in her teeth, opening her pink bunny wallet and pulling out some 500-yen coins to bring to the cashier.

"Knowing the world of josei manga readers will be well versed in the science behind these things is all the payment I need," he said dryly.

Usagi went to slip her papers back into her bag and missed, dropping some sheets with scrambled notes and illustrations of a non-family-friendly nature to glide along the floor of the crowded cafe, under the feet of lunching salarymen and moms with kids. "Uh…" She flushed crimson. "S-sorry…" She gathered them up, shoving them into her bag haphazardly.

Chiba helped as well, handing them back to Usagi with a sympathetic look that for some reason made her all the more mortified.

"Honored customer," the server- who had appeared out of nowhere- said, bowing deeply. "This is a family establishment. We humbly asked you to pl-"

"I'm on my way out anyway!" Usagi snapped, slamming the coins down on the table and marching toward the door.

"I've never seen that place kick out men reading pornographic bondage manga," Chiba pointed out, holding the door for her.

"It doesn't matter," she lied.

For a moment they stood facing each other.

"Thanks for your help," she offered, finally.

"Thanks for the tea," he countered. That odd look was back in his eyes.

"Anyway, I look forward to never seeing you again, goodbye," she answered all in one breath, and turned and dashed toward the offices.

She'd texted she was taking an early lunch and then turned off her phone before her boss could approve or deny the request. She could only hope her copious notes were enough to keep her employed at least for now.

There's two more chapters of this posted on archiveofourown users/antigone2/works and much more besides! They will not be posted here. I hope you come read them! *heart heart*