CONQUERED
Chapter 12
It has been three days since Anderson and Libby arrived.
They had solved a potential problem by Martha moving out to Anderson's boat and sharing the boat with him. Her bedroom on the floating platform became Libby's. Tonight was going to be her first time not living on the boat and away from Anderson, so no one was totally certain what was going to happen.
Rick was done typing. Granted his chances of getting a book published these days were somewhere between Don't make me laugh and You have got to be kidding! Still he was slowly writing a book since that was what he did. And since he had chosen a remote location to do the writing, which in this case meant there was no electrical outlet, so he was on battery. When he got a warning about a low battery, he decided to stop. He made a couple of notes and shut down.
Now he was in search of Libby. He had raised Alexis all by himself, so he was thinking he could help with Libby. Except he was having trouble finding her. He was also having trouble finding Kate.
Yes, they still slept in the same bed and yes, he had gotten used to holding her. It was just he was struggling to go any farther. Kate was still telling him that she loved him and trusted him with all of her heart. She did it a lot. He just needed to figure out how to get past this and decide if she was telling him the truth. God knows she knew how to lie.
Then he found Alexis. "Have you seen Libby?"
"She's out in the main open area with Kate," Alexis told him and kept heading for a greenhouse.
At least now he knew where to look. However, what he saw was perplexing. Kate was down really low. Even past being on all fours. She was practically on her belly.
"What are you doing?" Rick couldn't begin to understand just what he saw.
"We're playing crocodile." Kate told him and went back to looking for Libby.
"Crocodile?" He had never heard of this game, so how did Kate know about it? "Never heard of it. How do you play?" Rick was curious now mostly because Kate was playing with Libby. She didn't even babysit. How and why did this happen?
"The player chants, 'Please Mr. Crocodile, may we cross the river? If not, why not, what's your favorite color?'
"Mr. Crocodile calls out one color name and any of the players wearing that color are safe to cross past Mr. Crocodile to the other side of the yard or room. For example, if Mr. Crocodile calls, 'Blue,' anyone wearing blue is safe to cross.
"Once the safe players are across to the other side of the space, the players not wearing the selected color must try to run across to the other side of the yard or room without being caught by Mr. Crocodile.
"The player that's caught becomes the next Mr. Crocodile and the game starts again," Kate explained. "Right now Libby is wearing the wrong color, so she's trying to find a way past me to the other side. I'm the crocodile…still." To Kate crocodiles were way down low so she was way down low. But what was worse was that she was still the crocodile.
Then suddenly they both saw Libby running as hard as she could. Kate almost literally crawled on her belly to try and catch her.
"I'm going to catch you." Kate realized she was incredibly slow like this. For mostly that reason she was still the crocodile.
"NOOO!" Libby yelled. She raced and jumped over Kate's arms, escaping yet again.
Rick watched as Kate sat up and crossed her legs. "You're too fast for me."
Libby came back. "I'm fast," Libby confirmed. She wasn't going to be some crocodile. Then she also saw Kate hold out her arms, so she walked right into them and let Kate hold her. Then she put her own arms around Kate.
Kate, even though she had never done any babysitting, found that sitting here holding Libby felt amazing. Then she heard Libby begin to cry very softly, like she was trying to hold it in.
"You go ahead and cry, sweetie. Let it all out. Don't hold it in." Kate had done that most of her life and didn't want that for Libby. Learn from her mistakes. Then she saw Rick still standing there watching them. He had a look of awe on his face.
Kate reached to beckon him to join them. Libby was crying. Rick got down on his knees and put his arms around both of them. It was now that he could hear Libby softly crying and trying to hold it in.
Kate tried again, "Cry, sweetie, just cry," and that got Libby to really start crying while being held by both of them.
O~O~O
It felt like hours later, but really only about an hour had passed when Rick watched Kate come out of Libby's bedroom. "I got her to go to sleep. Do you know what that was? I mean, one minute she's fine and having fun playing and the next everything went wrong. I don't get it." Kate needed Rick to figure it out for her.
Suddenly Kate found herself in Rick's arms and that had her slipping hers around him.
"What went wrong, Rick? I don't know how to help her." Kate didn't truly understand why this meant so much to her, but it did. Suddenly Libby meant so much to her.
"I have a theory but we might need Laura to confirm it or my mother." His idea meant talking to another woman.
O~O~O
"So why are we here?" Laura queried since she had dragged her husband along behind her as they both joined Rick, Kate, and Alexis.
Rick started to explain what was going on. "Kate was playing with Libby. Then Kate was hugging her and Libby started crying. She's sleeping now."
"I don't know what to do to help her. I'm not my mother. I never did any babysitting as a teenager. Yes, she's six and not a baby, but you get the idea. I want to be able to help her." Kate was nearly pleading for help so she could help Libby. She had never done that in her life. Not since her mother had been murdered.
"I have a theory and I need your input," Rick said.
"What are you thinking, Dad?" Alexis was ready even if she didn't know what he was thinking.
"Anderson told us he found her, and that he thinks she even saw her parents just up and vanish. She may be just six but that's old enough to begin to understand death, I think," Rick told them as he tried to explain what he was thinking.
Alexis sort of shot him down. "I don't remember understanding death when I was six. It was still a magical thing for me."
"Perhaps, but you didn't watch your parents just vanish and you didn't hear them talking about aliens killing people. Maybe not directly to her, but she overheard them talking," Rick argued.
"I think I know where you're going with this." Laura was starting to catch on.
Dean still looked confused. "Wish I did. So explain it to me."
Laura made it simple to understand. "Kate is mommy."
"What!? I'm no mommy." That was why Kate wanted help, she didn't know what to do.
"To her, you are. Her new mommy. You care for her; we've all watched you putting her to bed. It's you who gets her into the one and only tub we have. It's you that puts her meals together and finds her a drink," Laura insisted.
"You were just now playing with her, even if I never have heard of Alligator before." Rick added. "You are caring for her."
"She lost a mommy, Kate, and you're treating her like you're mommy, so she's crying. She's falling in love with you. You are mommy now but she still misses her real mommy, so she's crying." It made sense to Laura.
"All I had was my dad growing up. My mother was no mommy. Libby wants a mommy and you're acting like one. So be her mommy," Alexis said.
"That doesn't answer my question. How do I help her?" Kate asked again.
"I think we just told you, Kate," Rick told her, willing her to understand.
"Be mommy, Kate. Do what you think your mother would do if Libby was you," Laura urged her." Your mother taught you to be a mommy. Mine taught me. Rick may have taught Alexis or maybe she's self-taught, but this is what mommies do."
"I raised Alexis all on my own. I didn't have any help. I learned by doing, Kate. I did what I thought was best. So do for Libby what you think is best. Help her by being Kate Beckett."
Kate watched Laura and Alexis nod in agreement. "Just don't do everything that Dad does. She'll need therapy if you do that." Alexis teased her dad and smiled at him.
"Ha, ha, very funny." Rick glared back at his daughter. "You want help, Kate, ask me. I raised Alexis, I can help raise Libby. Six was a pretty good age, as I recall."
Kate was smiling and shook her head. She knew Rick could be a handful most days, but she also knew he was a great dad. "Are you planning to help me with bath time? How about getting her to eat?" Kate had all kinds of things he could help her with.
Alexis kept teasing him. "Just don't feed her a smorlette, Dad. Those things are gross, not to mention that taco thing whatever you called it."
"Just because you have no taste buds doesn't mean Libby doesn't either. She may like the finer meals I make," Rick contended.
"Impossible, Dad. Totally impossible," Alexis asserted and smiled sweetly at him.
"What do we do for school? She's six." Kate had thought up one more thing. "When she outgrows her clothes, shoes, needs a training bra?" Suddenly Kate was feeling overwhelmed by being a mommy.
"Then we go into Victoria or at least Sidney, and do some shopping. The looters can't have taken all the clothes," Rick offered. "As for school." Yeah, he had nothing.
"They wouldn't have looted the schools, would they?" Alexis asked. "I mean, most everyone would be after food and other things like, I don't know, building supplies maybe?"
Rick nodded slowly as he thought about it. "We can look. Everything in the Victoria area is on my laptop. We don't need the Internet."
"So now what do I do?" Kate asked them.
"Go sleep with her," Alexis suggested "She's six and watched her parents vanish. If it was me I would be having nightmares right about now. Now that I have a new mommy."
"I agree, go lay down with her and be there when she wakes up. You want to help her, then go be mommy. She needs you, Kate." Rick stood there and looked at her.
Kate looked at everyone, considered it, and then got up and walked into Libby's bedroom. Kate had made the decision to lay down in bed with her and maybe even hold her close so she was there when she woke up.
O~O~O
Laura and Dean were gone, but Alexis and Rick were still together. "Kate has changed, Dad. Whether to get you back or because of Libby, I don't know, but Kate's different. The Kate I knew and hated would never have done this. Go be mommy to someone else's child.
"I'm not going to tell you what to do, but I don't really hate her all that much any longer. Especially after this. Do what you want, but you said you loved her once." Alexis touched him and left him to go in search of Michael. Then she stopped, turned, and told him, "And Michael and I are going fishing again in the morning," and continued on her way.
Rick was left sitting there all alone. Just how did he feel about Kate? He had to admit that his daughter was right. The Kate he knew would never do this. Take on being a mommy. She was a homicide detective.
O~O~O
Kate wasn't getting any sleep like this. She had spooned Libby into her body and was resting her chin on top of her head. If Libby got any closer she would literally be attached to her. Still, there was something about doing this that just felt right. Different certainly, but right.
Then suddenly Libby jolted awake and started fighting against Kate to get free.
"Sweetie, it's just me. You're perfectly safe. I won't let anything ever happen to you." Kate tried to reason with her which now that she thought about it was maybe not the smartest idea. Libby was six and fighting her. Just where did logic fit into this?
Still Kate saw her turn her head to look at her, and then suddenly Libby went from fighting her to spinning and trying to melt into her. That was when she started crying.
Kate had never really listened to her heart for a long time now. Certainly not since Will had run out on her, betrayed her for a damn job. She thought she was doing pretty well at letting Rick into her heart. Yet somehow she had automatically let Libby into her heart.
Kate was doing her best to hold Libby close as she cried and now Kate could feel tears running down her cheeks. Libby was clearly hurting. After her talk with the others Kate could only come up with one thing. She was mommy. Anderson might have been nice to her and she might even like him, but to her he was just a nice stranger. She was being treated differently.
Kate became aware that she wanted to be treated differently. She just hoped she was really ready for this. Going from trying to get Rick to love her and trust her again, to being a mommy to a child she had only just met a few days ago. Still a piece of her was going to make sure Libby didn't repeat her mistakes. Libby was going to be better.
Since Kate didn't hear her crying any longer. "Feeling better?" Kate asked her. She didn't say yes, but didn't say no or shake her head, so Kate took that as a silent yes.
"You want to get something to eat?" Libby was still too damn skinny. Kate realized that she wasn't the most perfect role model for eating, but she had, at the time, a very active life. She burned up a lot of calories doing her job. Add in all the Yoga and workouts she used to do, she burned a lot of calories.
Now Libby shook her head. "You want to get up and go find the others?" Kate tried a different enticement. Except Libby shook her head again. Actually, what the little girl wanted was to stay right where she was. That felt safe and comfortable to her. Loving, in fact.
"You're sure you don't want to get up? Go to the bathroom maybe?" Kate didn't remember if when she was six she needed to pee every time she woke up from a nap, but it didn't hurt to ask. Still Libby shook her head.
"I don't know too many games we can play. But I'll bet Rick does. He raised Alexis all by himself. I'll bet he knows lots of games we can play." Kate did know one thing. She was going to need help and since she wanted Rick to love her and trust her again, she had plans to include him with helping her with Libby.
Libby shook her head again. "Then I guess we stay just like this forever and ever till we never ever get up again for anything." That finally got the reaction Kate was looking for. Libby was giggling.
Since she had her giggling. "So are you ticklish?" Kate felt her shake her head. "Are you sure?" Kate moved a hand to her side and started tickling her. Now that got an instant reaction from Libby. She was most assuredly ticklish. Then Kate went in for the kill. She had found a weakness and she was going to exploit it since she might not get another chance at this. So now she was using both hands and tickling both sides of Libby.
Libby was doing all she could to get away. It was just she wasn't strong enough. "MOMMY, STOP!" Libby yelled.
Both of them froze. Libby had called her Mommy! The little girl realized what she had just said. Kate was shocked and Libby was scared, petrified even and ready to run away.
"I'm sorry." Libby tried to get out of the bed and run for it. But Kate was faster and Libby found herself being embraced. "I'm sorry." She knew Kate wasn't her mommy. Her mommy was gone. She didn't really understand where. One second Mommy and Daddy were right there, and the next they were gone. And they had left all their clothes behind.
"Libby, you can call me mommy. I don't mind. In fact, I want you to call me mommy. Understand?" Kate held her close, but at least she wasn't crying again. Listening to that had been painful in ways Kate hadn't felt before.
Except Libby didn't tell her anything. "I want to be mommy." Oh, boy, she was in now. Kate tried again. "You can call me mommy any time you want to. Understand?"
Kate hadn't heard her crying and yet suddenly she sniffled. "Really?" an extremely soft and timid voice asked.
"Really. I'm going to do my best to take care of you. Bathe you, feed you, play with you, teach you, and never ever leave you. You can be my daughter. Is that okay?" Was six old enough to understand what Kate was telling her?
Libby was quiet for what Kate was afraid was too long. Till finally. "Okay." It was still very soft and very timid sounding, but at least it was something. But Kate needed for both her and herself to be sure.
"What's my name?" Kate asked her.
Now that had Libby thinking. Everyone had a name. It was just she hadn't been paying attention to what everyone's name was. "Mommy?" she said softly, not really sure that was the right answer.
"Very good! You're Libby and I'm Mommy. That's all you need to know for now. Now, what's my name?" Kate asked again since she wanted to make sure Libby really knew and was okay with this.
"Mommy!" Libby told her with a little more certainty and a little louder.
"Again. What's my name?" Kate wanted to hear this loud and strong.
"MOMMY!" Libby was even starting to believe it and was ready to begin to cry again. She sort of was and wasn't Mommy. But she wanted her to be mommy.
"Much better." Kate was happy with that answer. "And are you still ticklish?" Kate grinned wide now that she had reached her.
"NOOO!"She was definitely NOT ticklish. Libby escaped Kate's arms, scurried out of bed, and ran for it. Her mommy had found a weakness and she didn't want to be tickled.
"Whoa, hold up there." Libby had run smack into Rick who picked her up and held her. "What's going on here?"
Libby pointed. "Mommy tickled me." Someone needed to stop Mommy from tickling her.
Then Rick saw Kate show up. "Mommy tickled you, huh?" Rick grinned at her and watched as Kate turned beet red.
Oh, boy, she was in trouble now. She had run into Rick after escaping her. Why couldn't she have run into Alexis or even Laura? But no! She had to run into Rick.