The Heart Won't Lie
by Castlefan6
Authors Note: This is Totally AU; Beckett has left for D.C and the Feds. This describes the activity of each, during the time away from each other, NO PROPOSAL, before she left, but plenty of ANGST. Can they find their way back to each other, or do they even want to? It blends some Canon dialog, courtesy of Dust Jackets Dot Com, then goes quickly and completely AU. What were each up to during this time, Taking Literary License to fill in the blanks.
A/N: CASKETT ENDING IS NOT GUARANTEED. : CASKETT ENDING IS NOT GUARANTEED.
I don't own Castle; I use the characters for amusement purposes only, except the ones I create.
Also, we take liberties with the timeline from Canon and use events to make this a more believable fiction, thanks.
Thanks to reader pmt0622 for the prompt:
A CASKETT ENDING IS NOT GURANTEED. **************************************************************************/
Chapter 5
Castle's Home, Next Morning
Buena Vista Ave, Santa Barbara, CA 93108
Rick was enjoying his new home, his new arrangement with an old friend. Things felt normal like he was able to breathe again, gone were the days when he had to search for a reason to want to stay on this earth. Alexis always came to his mind, and well Gina as well, but he knew that Gina would eventually move on, she deserved to.
FLASHBACK
It wasn't as if he had serious thoughts about offing himself, he would never do that, but one minute he went from the top of the world, to within a few weeks' time his entire world had crashed and burned right in front of him. The one nagging question he couldn't get answered was WHY? WHAT had HE done?
He had asked Beckett, not once but repeatedly, even when she had the incident with Vaughn, he tried to get her to tell him WHY. He assumed it was something he had done, and told his therapist, Dr. Joanna Kerns, the doctor Abby had in fact recommended three years ago when she was leaving.
"Rick, why are you so fast to accept blame for Kate's less than professional behavior with Eric Vaughn? Did she tell you what you did that gave her cause or reason, to allow him to get that close, well to her personal space?" Dr. Kerns asked,
"No, I mean I've asked her, she won't say anything other than it wasn't me, it was her. I've been in enough relationships to figure out when a woman says that, it means you screwed up so bad, if I have to tell you, then this relationship is over." Rick said sadly,
"Well, Rick, if she was your partner, your potential life's partner, don't you think she owes you an explanation if it was really you? That's not relationship counseling Rick, it's just manners. If I hurt your feelings and you won't tell me the action, I had done to cause that, how can I ever truly apologize and mend the relationship." Dr. Kerns said,
"Yes, but Beckett, well she's different, she always holds things close to her, she doesn't let people in. I mean even her therapist gets frustrated with her at times,"
"Wait Rick, you say Kate's in therapy as well, why don't you suggest she accompany you to one of our sessions? I could meet with her in private if she prefers and is really that closed off. She OWES you the reason why, if it's something you did, you can correct it. If it's something that she did, then she needs to speak to Dr. Burke to seek how to correct and prevent future behaviors from happening." She said
"Rick, you're not going to want to hear what I have to say, I understand, BUT as your therapist, my concern is you, my patient. You accepting blame, feeling the guilt, and losing the happiness that comes from being with the one you love, isn't working.
"Either she tells you what caused this action, or you must consider how things will be if you do get married, do you want another episode like Meredith? " that shocked Rick, just the memory, of hurt, deceit, anger, would it be different, how far would she have gone with Vaughn? She wouldn't answer him, perhaps she would her therapist.
He agreed to have Dr. Kearns speak to Dr. Burke. What he didn't know at that time was Dr. Kearns was reluctant to call Dr. Carter Burke, who had a reputation of don't poke your nose into my treatment plan for my patient. She spoke to Amy who called, and well it had blown up big time.
Rick spent 20 days at her home, not knowing she was just home to close out the real estate deal and return to California. He really didn't have any other friend he could go to, except Gina, and well that was just too close. He found out later that Abby left for California and her new life the moment he was back in the loft.
CURRENT TIME
Abby was coming down the stairs in a lovely sundress, and walked directly over to Rick, planting a big kiss on him.
"How long have you been up, and what's troubling you, Rick? This isn't therapy, this is lover talk, OK?" Abbys said sweetly,
"OK, but, let me bring you your coffee to the veranda, be right back," he said, she stood and watched him walk then prayed to God he wasn't regretting this arrangement already,
"Here you go," as he set her coffee with a heart on top of the foam, and she didn't fear his regret any longer, but something was bothering him,
"Thanks, Rick, now, cut to the chase, please. I need to know what you're troubled about, or if I did something we need to discuss, or I apologize for."
"Well, remember when I was seeing Dr. Kearns, you had spent quite a deal of time in Los Angeles and had really turned your practice over to her.
"Yes, I do, I was trying to sell the condo, office building, and the practice, but it took almost two years, When you called that night, of the fight, I was just wrapping everything up, and preparing to go back to California, as a SINGLE woman, thanks to your investigators. Did something happen then that I wasn't aware of Rick?"
"Why didn't you tell me you were due back in Los Angeles instead of hiding me out, talking to me every night, calming me down, helping me, hell I just found out I delayed your trip back here by four full weeks, I'm so sorry,"
She was in his lap, kissing him, "Listen to me, as she took his face and gently cupped it between her small hands, I had been out here for almost two and a half years and finally, I got the buildings sold, what was a few more weeks. Dr. K or Joanna didn't want to face Burke, so I called him for her. When things blew up, I couldn't leave you, Rick, I just couldn't.
"What was I coming home in LA too, an empty apartment? My best friend, was hurting, and I made it worse by trying to help, I needed you more than you needed me then Rick. You told me you were going to head to Colorado to some survival camp, and I wouldn't let you leave. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but Rick, I really thought you and Kate would make it. Especially when you forgave her, I thought she woke up to what she had to lose.
"You didn't hold me up, I can't tell you how much I looked forward to coming through the door to discover what you had made me for dinner every evening, and just sitting talking about everything, sipping on the wine. I was living out a fantasy if you must know," She blushed, and laid her head on his shoulder,
"A fantasy? What are you talking about Abby? We've been friends for so long, there aren't any secrets between us, I just felt bad for delaying your plans. I confessed, your turn," he said, as he gently lifted her head up and locked on her eyes,
"Well, do you remember our sophomore year in college, you and Kyra had just come out as an official couple right before the spring social, but her mother made her accompany her on some cruise. Do you remember who you took to that dance and how it came about?" she asked,
"Yes, I never forgot that night, I took you on Kyra's insistence. She said she wanted me to go with a friend, not anyone I could fall in love with. That was cruel to say that where she did, and I never did apologize for her,"
"Hey, that's not the point, the point was for one night, my fantasy had come true, I danced every dance with you, you held me as close as you could without betraying Kyra, and I fell in love with you that night. I thought, this man is just too good to be true, so I watched and waited for my chance. It never came, so I lived knowing you were happy." She said, this time it was Rick's tears that were dried, with butterfly kisses, and tender strokes through his hair.
"Finally, I realized that my college love would never love me the way it had to be to be successful as a couple so I started dating. I accepted the proposal without even checking him out, because, I was tired of being alone. He wasn't you; no one was you, but hell, you were married. I chose not to be lonely, and only got out of what could have been a disaster thanks to you.
"This now Rick, this is different. We aren't college kids, we're adults who have been around the block, and know what the score is. Like I told you, I know you're not ready for a relationship, hell, no one would be, but I want to be here as your friend who loves to make love to you.
"Maybe you'll grow out of this arrangement, or perhaps I may, but I plan on enjoying every second of what we have for now." She laid her head on his shoulder again, and he held her, just held her gently rubbing her back. In one way it was as intimate, if not more than making love. She was happy,
XxX
NYPD 12th Precinct
Same Time Frame
Kate was running out of ideas of where the boys could have gone, totally stunned by the news that Rick wasn't at the loft, hell he had left New York. As Eduardo put it, he had the loft sealed as if he were trying to remember better days with Miss Rogers and you, he hadn't finished it but she knew that was what he wanted to say. She knew Javi usually liked to have a beer or two when things were bothering him, the HAUNT, that's it the Haunt, she thought as she waved down a cab.
She hardly could contain herself, thinking of what she could say when, if she found the boys. She knew they were as much hurt at her as they were pissed off at the situation. She knew the feeling of having a case hijacked from you, then to add insult to injury, informed to keep investigating but you would never be told why.
She arrived at the Haunt and ran through the doors to see Brian, the young man Rick trusted to run the place as well as three of his bartenders. She struggled as her eyes adjusted to the darkness from the bright sunlight she had just left. She finally could see well enough to move without falling down, taking a quick glance at the booth that Rick had reserved for the 12th, no one there but a busser was wiping down the table and picking up a pitcher and two empty glasses.
She approached the bar, and called out,
"Brian, Brian, you got a second?" she asked, talking louder to be sure he heard her. She was sure he heard her, but he kept on talking to the young man with an apron. She called out again louder, this time, he never looked back, just raised one finger, the universal signal to wait a moment.
Finally, a few minutes later he turned around and walked in her direction, "Special Agent Beckett, how can I help you, and what is your hurry after 7 months away?" his words hit home, she wasn't a part of the 12th, hell she was now a stranger, and it was because she hadn't taken the effort to return calls and texts.
"I'm sorry Brian, I know I should have kept in touch, but I need to find Detectives Esposito and Ryan. I saw the busser cleaning out the booth reserved for the 12th, so were they here, did they say where they were going?" she rushed out, panic in her voice.
"That booth over there Special Agent? That's not the one reserved for the 12th anymore, Rick moved it to the other side of the bar. There were two guys in a little earlier, but I didn't pay any attention to them, I had paperwork to do. I'll ask Gary, he served them," he called the server over asked, and she saw him shake his head no.
"Sorry detect, eh Special Agent Beckett, it wasn't the detectives. They were in about an hour ago, had a beer, then left with a woman, like I said I wasn't paying attention I was working,"
"Thanks, Brian, I appreciate you checking, " she said, now more confused than ever. A woman, maybe it was Jenny, or Lanie, HELL LANIE, why hadn't she thought of her first. She pulled her phone out and dialed her BFF's phone to hear,
"You've reached the voice mail of Dr. Lanie Parrish, Chief ME, city of New York. I will be on leave for an undeterminable amount of time. Please call Dr. Ken Hallstead, who is the Acting ME, do NOT call Dr. Perlmutter, I repeat, Do NOT call Dr. Perlmutter. Dr. Hallstead is my official representative. I will not be checking messages, if this is a personal call, you know how to reach me," the line clicked.
What the hell, Lanie on leave since when, and who the hell was Dr. Hallstead? She flagged the cab down and gave the address of the morgue. She needed to see this for herself. She arrived and walked through the familiar hall, and there where she was used to seeing Lanie, stood a red-haired young man in a white coat. She approached the door, and knocked, "Dr. Hallstead?" she asked softly,
"Yes, I'm Dr. Hallstead and who are you? How can I help you?" he asked finally seeing Kate's badge hanging from the belt of her pants.
"I'm Special Agent Kate Beckett, from the AG's office, I'm here"
"Oh, you're the infamous Kate Beckett I've heard so much about. Well, I suppose you have read the medical reports, they were very thorough, even to Lanie's high standards, so you're not here about those, so what do you want?" he asked,
"You know Lanie? Then you know we've been best friends for a long time, I was wondering if you could tell me where she, or Detective Esposito and perhaps Detective Ryan have gone to?" Kate asked, forgetting to mention she hadn't communicated with the ME for almost 7 months.
"You say you're her best friend? Well, when she called me, all she said was that she needed to get away for a while and asked me to take over, she didn't trust Sydney, eh Dr. Perlmutter not to mess things up while she was away.
"She seemed like it was urgent, so if you ARE her friend, wouldn't she have told you what was going on? As for the detectives, I never met either of them, so I couldn't tell you anything about them, again, wouldn't you know if you were friends?" He asked looking more like an interrogator than a ME.
"Yeah, you're right, well thanks anyway" as she left the familiar office more dejected than when she had arrived, finally realizing that perhaps life in New York hadn't stopped when she left. She went back to her hotel and made a call, one that made her lose all her dignity. She was stooping to call Rick's ex-wife to know if she had any information.
She called her office number, and after getting cleared by her assistant heard the voice that she knew hated her, Gina. "How can I help you, Detective, excuse me, Special Agent Beckett? Before you ask, I have no knowledge of where Rick is, I have a phone number, he changes it monthly, and he's current with all of his chapters, so I have no need to contact him. So how can I help you?" Gina said, in a monotone voice,
"Well, I'm in New York and I thought, well, I'm trying to get in touch with not only Rick but the detectives on my team and Lanie Parrish, but they all seemed to have vanished," Kate lamented the last bit of air had just left her and her hopes and expectations.
"Special Agent, I understand you calling about Rick, but how the hell would I know anything about YOUR friends, I hardly spoke to any of them, now is there anything else, I'm busy," Gina replied,
"No, I guess not Gina, thanks for taking my call," Kate said sadly,
"You're welcome, and Special Agent, Good Luck, your voice tells me you're going to need that and a lot more, Goodbye" click was the sound she next heard.
Gina was correct, she was going to need luck, and a lot more to rebuild her relationships, much less solve this case according to black and white regulations coming from DC, Why the fuck was she in this job anyway. She hated it, she hated DC, she hated hurting Rick, and now her last remaining friends here in New York.
XxX
Gina's Hamptons Beach House
Formerly Rick's, Same Time Frame
Lanie looked over at Jenny and the two guys splashing in the ocean a few feet away. "Jenny, did you ever picture this? Beckett is back in New York and none of us even want to talk to her, especially the boys." She said,
"I know Lanie, Kevin would have died defending Kate right up until right after she left and Sara Grace had so much trouble. He was deeply hurt she never returned one call, one email, or text about her God Daughter. Thank God Rick was there, for us, for our little girl, I really don't care if I ever see the Special Agent ever again. She had choices, she made it clear where her priorities were, so it was her actions, not ours" Jenny said,
"You're right about that, Jenny, I even had to call in a favor from a classmate from college. Dr. Hallstead, Red, as I knew him, the ME for the small county of Rockland, hell it's about one-third the size of Central Park. Since it's so small, he's only part-time, trying to establish a practice so he jumped at the chance to fill in for me, for as long as I needed." Lanie said,
"How long do you think that will be?" Jenny asked,
"Based on Javi and Kevin's conversations, not until Beckett is back in DC, at the earliest. God, it was so very nice of Gina to let us use Rick's old beach home, or mansion if we are real" she laughed,
"Gina still cares for Rick, she knows there will never be a second chance for her, but she's as pissed at Beckett as we are, maybe more. I think this, hiding us out here in luxury while she watches Beckett chase around New York trying to figure out what happened is one form of her revenge for her.
"I just think the guys have worked hard enough and really need some time away, not more badgering by not one but two know it all females." Lanie added, "I hear the other one, McCord is worse than Beckett if you can believe that?"
"Well, let the two super cops solve the case, I'm enjoying my time in the sun, and Gramps and Grammy just texted me NOT to hurry home, they want more time with their little angel" Jenny laughed,
"Works for me," Lanie said, knowing full well that the boys would not return until the ladies said it was time, plus they were having the time of their lives.
TBC
A/N: I'm not sure how many chapters this will be, but we are about completed with Kate's harsh revelation that actions have consequences, something Canon NEVER held her character to, Look for Serena coming soon.