The Heart Won't Lie
by Castlefan6
Authors Note: This is Totally AU; Beckett has left for D.C and the Feds. This describes the activity of each, during the time away from each other, NO PROPOSAL, before she left, but plenty of ANGST. Can they find their way back to each other, or do they even want to? It blends some Canon dialog, courtesy of Dust Jackets Dot Com, then goes quickly and completely AU. What were each up to during this time, Taking Literary License to fill in the blanks.
A/N: CASKETT ENDING IS NOT GUARANTEED. : CASKETT ENDING IS NOT GUARANTEED.
I don't own Castle; I use the characters for amusement purposes only, except the ones I create.
Also, we take liberties with the timeline from Canon and use events to make this a more believable fiction, thanks.
Thanks to reader pmt0622 for the prompt:
A CASKETT ENDING IS NOT GURANTEED. **************************************************************************/
Chapter 6
Castle's Home, Next Morning
Buena Vista Ave, Santa Barbara, CA 93108
Rick and Abby stayed cuddled in that position, silent, just gentle strokes by him on her back, for almost twenty minutes. She finally pulled her head back and asked,
"Rick, are you happy? Before you answer that, I don't mean gratified sexually, or physically, but are you happy from within, like you used to be in college. God, I so admired you, no matter what came your way, how tough things got, you never stopped smiling, at least on the outside. It wasn't until my residency that I figured it out, your smile hid a multitude of hurt, and I don't want to see you go through that again. So now, I ask again, are you happy?"
Rick's blue eyes sparkled as he locked on her eyes, "I was miserable until a few days ago until I reconnected with a friend, who loves to love me, and who has always been there for me. If you had asked me that a few weeks ago, I would have had to say I was miserable, but now, I'm happy Abby, truly happy.
"As you said, will you stay in this arrangement, will I, none of us know. We do know that for now, we are doing the things that I wanted to do so many years ago, but always thought you were out of my league once Kyra left. I was so broken, I only wish I had approached you to let you fix me, BUT it's not all bad. I got Alexis out of the deal, and I wouldn't trade being a Dad for anything in the world" he smiled then kissed her nose.
"That's the one trait I love about you the most, I hear you call her, or sometimes when she calls you, the love and guidance are so open and honest. She's lucky to have you, and you her."
"That I am, now speaking of that, what do you want to do today, I thought perhaps we could take our time and walk down the trail to the beach, I haven't been there yet, and well it'd be nice to share that first with you."
"You know, I'd love that, we should pack water and snacks, that's about two miles" Rick smiled as he held up the picnic basket.
"I'm going to transfer this to a backpack, easier to carry, and I need to change clothes, meet you here in about ten minutes?" He said,
"Counting the seconds, our FIRST in doing something, well other than that, she blushed then smiled, "I really like that, and I like that you thought of it, hurry back"
XxX
NYPD 12th Precinct
Same Time Frame Next Day
Kate hadn't returned to the precinct, instead, she chose to visit her Dad and face the music of the short calls, hell the ones she remembered to call back. He was the same Dad he always was and had told her, his expectations of her calling had left long ago, he wasn't surprised or hurt, it was just who she was.
She left and met McCord for dinner at the hotel, and conveyed that she hadn't been able to locate the detectives or the ME. Rachel made a comment, "If I didn't know better Beckett, it's like the entire old clan is going out of their way to ignore you" which stuck with her. She didn't sleep and was already deep into the caffeine when McCord came down to breakfast the next morning.
She took one look at her, then said,
"Don't sweat it, Beckett, it's just the cost of getting this job. We all lose something, you just need to be sure it was worth it, and make peace with yourself that putting yourself first isn't the cardinal sin you're acting like it was"
"Well, we have the notes from the detectives, and the files, so I don't think we will really need their involvement in the case, at least the murder part anyway." She said,
"What do you mean the murder part, why not Rachel?" Kate asked,
"You really don't think the AG sent us down here to solve some washed-up kid show actor's murder, do you? That will be for your former colleagues to do once we get the intel, we need for something deeper, and shut up, we're at a public place" she spit out.
XxX
Thirty-five minutes later they were arriving at the 12th precinct and entering the door of the conference room. Rachel pulled out what looked like a Star Wars tool, and begin to sweep the room once the door was closed. After ten minutes of going over every nick and cranny of the office, she was satisfied it wasn't bugged, looking at the microphones that were used to record confessions and interrogations she pulled the wires from the mics.
"Now we can talk Beckett," she said, "You stay here, I'll get my coffee, then you go, but from now on, one of us is in this room at all times." As she walked out the door, leaving Beckett with a stunned look on her face.
McCord returned and Beckett proceeded to the breakroom, she was torn, did she stay knowing that the organization she was working for didn't care that a man was killed, or did she leave, and ask Gates for her old job back and try to salvage her relationships with those she had left behind in a cloud of dust as she paraded off into limelight. Some limelight she thought, she had fallen for a recruiting line, and she hated this job.
Gates walked through the door, and began to make herself a latte from the machine Rick had donated, "You look troubled Special Agent Beckett, anything I can do?" she asked,
"Not unless you can turn the clock back, say 7 months, to a period when I had it all and fell for some bullshit recruiting line for a job I absolutely hate" she replied softly,
"Just so we're clear Kate, you're saying that leaving NYPD was a mistake, and you would change your decision if you could?" Gates asked,
"Absolutely sir, but well, I made my decision, so I have to live with the consequences." She said sadly,
"What if I told you that I didn't accept your resignation, the form you signed was for an extended leave of absence, and that you had up to one year to return to active duty with the NYPD Beckett, what would you say?" Gates asked,
"I would say it would have been nice if that were true, but you and I both know, wait, Captain, that second set of paperwork you had me sign, I, eh"
"It's true Kate, that's why we have had temps in your old job for the last 9 months, so make up your mind, resign from the AG's office today, you can start back here on Monday, that is if you want to." Gates said with a smile, "You see, I almost fell for that line as well, lucky my husband had connections to check it out and saved me from making the same mistake." She smiled
"Kate, this does nothing to repair the personal relationships, you are going to have to do that by yourself, and it may mean you or your team wind up working at another precinct, but I will give you thirty days to make things right. After that, well, we will see,"
"Thank You, Sir, I have something I need to take care of now, I'll see you Monday sir. I can't tell you how much I appreciate this," she said as she left the Captain's office, under the sharp eye of Rachel McCord. She slipped into the stairwell to answer a call from her cousin Sophie who never called her. She had sub-leased her apartment and saved her when she moved.
"Kate, how are you. Look I know you're busy so I'm just going to come out and say this, I need to lease your apartment. Paul asked me to move in with him four months ago, and things are going so well, but I can't afford,"
"Sophie, no problem, I'm coming home, in fact, I'm in New York now. Take a couple of weeks if you need them,"
"I only need three days Kate, and are you sure? I mean I don't want to stick you; we had a deal."
"I'm sure Sophie, you've just solved one of my biggest problems about coming back, where am I going to live in affordable housing. Go, and I'm happy for you, look I have to take care of some things here, I'll call you later" she said and hung up.
Now for the fun part, to resign and face Rachel. She filled her coffee cup up again and walked to the conference room to see McCord busy at work, "Rachel, we need to talk." She said,
"The resignation process is in your onboarding packet Beckett, or on the HR website, just follow every detail and don't skip any. Leave your badge and gun on the table, and for what it's worth, I'm happy for you. Now get out of here, this is a classified area for the AG office" she smiled as Kate handed her the federal-issued credentials and weapon and turned to leave. As she walked out the door, she heard McCord say, "Good Luck Beckett, I hope you can fix things."
5 MONTHS LATER
Beckett had returned to the 12th precinct, but not everyone there was glad to see her. She was greeted with forced professional greetings from Roz, and Anne, and it had taken two months to get the boys to sit down with her and accept her apology. Finally, she wanted to apologize to Jenny, but Kevin told her, it would take a while, perhaps a long while before Jenny would even talk to her.
Lanie had returned from the Hamptons to hear the surprising news, and things had still not returned to normal between them. She still addressed her as Detective Beckett at any crime scene she was at, although she had hired Dr. Hallstead who handled more of the on-scene investigations. Kate sought out Doctor Burke, and even he wasn't accepting new patients, it took some negotiating, but she finally got on his schedule.
Even though the boys were working well with her, things would never be the same, especially with Jenny and Lanie still not forgiving her. Her invitations for lunch, drinks, or just a get-together fell on deaf ears, always with the same excuses, "I think Jenny has plans" from Kevin, and "We're busy that day" from Javi.
She had managed to get Anne and Roz to stop showing the overt signs of hatred toward her after a run-in with Anne in the break room shortly after she returned. She was having a bad day, and she had about enough of people judging her, or her and Rick, and when Anne mentioned something, she went off on her.
"Look, I know what I had, I know what I lost, a hell of a lot better than you and Roz think. I'm the one who has to live with hurting a man who would have bought me the world had I asked, so get off your soapbox, mind your own fucking business. The last I heard, he hadn't had any relationship with either of you two, so don't you dare judge me.
"I've nearly destroyed myself, so I hope you're happy, you wanted to see if Beckett has feelings, well she does. It hurts being here, but you know what, no matter how hard you make it for me, it was harder being there. I'm in therapy, getting help for my issues, there I said it.
"I never had a lot of friends, but I always felt at home here, really the only place I ever have, and you or anyone aren't going to take that from me. It's the only thing I have left, do you understand? So, you, Roz, and everyone else in the precinct can mind your own business, I'm paying every day for my sins.
"I don't even know where Rick is at now, I've got no right to intrude in his life now, not after how I treated him. If you want to bury the hatchet, then, please let's do. Just know that no matter how tough you try to make it for me, I'm here to stay now. So, Anne, Roz, and the rest of you who are listening it's your call, I can only do so much." She said as she walked into the ladies' room.
A few moments later she was joined by both Anne and Roz with heartfelt apologies. It was a bittersweet moment, but a healing one as well. Things got better, not good but better with most of the precinct from that time on. Kate was still saddened by the fact that Lanie was still so distant, and she knew it was her actions that caused the change. Lanie wouldn't even join Javi for drinks with her and Kevin as they always had done when cases were closed.
Things had gone back to almost like they were prior, but to say they didn't miss Rick's input would definitely be a lie. So many cases where his thinking out of the box would have sped the process up. They were currently working on a string of jewel heists, one which resulted in the murder of an elderly gentleman.
A case eerily similar to one of the early ones she had worked with Rick, except this victim was a male, wealthy, and well connected. He had given a great deal of money to many charities, including the Metropolitan American Dance Theater, the same one as Mrs. Delgado had when she was killed in the rash of burglaries several years ago.
That's where the connection stopped, all the players from five years ago were gone, including the theater having a new director. Fundraising wasn't even associated with the theater anymore, it was a contractor offsite, just one of the stipulations of the insurance company after settling with the Delgado estate.
Kate knew that Captain Gates was getting a ton of pressure from the brass, Christmas was only a month away, and the Commissioner had promised to have it solved before the holidays to the public. No matter how many hours they put in, leads they chased, or rewards offered, they always wound up with a dead end. Kate resumed her old habits of early arrival and late departures, but nothing was working, she wished she had Rick's input, just for once.
XxX
Castle's Home
Buena Vista Ave, Santa Barbara, CA 93108
Rick and Abby had settled, well not settled since both were constantly surprising the other with little deeds and acts of appreciation and affection. Rick sent a singing telegram to her, just to say he missed her. He opened his mail and found a card listing the 100 reasons why my life is better with you in it, all hers, a handmade masterpiece.
It brought him to tears, and for once in his life, he was living life as it was supposed to be lived, happy each day. Not only that he was happiest when he was making Abby happy, she never forgot to show her appreciation for even the smallest things he did, a stark change from, well forget that time of his life. Enjoy being happy, enjoy making Abby happy with zero strings.
The Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday arrangement was often amended to include the entire week, most often at his place. She had taken him to hers, just to let him know he was welcome with the same benefits, regardless of location. They christened her home, every room before the weekend was over, and she had to return to work, only to start where they left off on the following Tuesday.
The next Thursday Abby arrived to find her lover, not his normal self. "Rick, you want to talk to me about it sweetie," she asked as she hugged him and didn't let go,
"You know me so damn well, I wish, well, eh,"
"Rick just say it, we promised each other, have you found someone else?" she said with tears in her voice still holding on to him,
He took her face and said, "What the hell are you talking about, NO! I got a call from Bob Weldon, from New York, he wants a favor." Rick said as he kissed her deeply, "Don't ask me that question again, we agreed, we would talk, and, eh, you haven't found anyone else have you, Abby?"
She deepened the kiss, and mumbled, "let me show you but the answer is HELL NO, what does Bob want Rick, or should I guess?" she said,
"Well, there's been a string of home invasions of the rich, benefactors of the arts, and well, Boyle promised to have the case closed by the end of the year. They are clueless. Bob wants me to come back to New York, conduct my own investigation, using my firm, and well, I told him, I would have to discuss it with you first." He said as a smile broke over her face,
"You told the mayor, you would need to discuss it with me, for real, Rick? How did that go over?" she asked, thrilled to death that Rick would consider her feelings before committing to something.
"Well, you can imagine him, you remember Bob, something about being whipped, I had to remind him we had to end the poker games at 11:30 since Margie gave him a midnight curfew" as they both laughed and she kissed him,
"Thank you, you don't know it, but you just moved three steps closer to being over that hurt you've been carrying so very well. I'm here Rick, I've been here for you, I'm not leaving you now. If you want to go back to New York, perhaps you could consider taking your"
He interrupted her with a kiss, "Would you go back with me, perhaps spend a month, it's going to be Christmas. Would you make my day and say yes? I mean we don't have warm clothes but we can shop, and"
"Rick, the answer is yes, so stop. We'll plan it all out, but baby, I think we need to decide where you want to stay, I wouldn't ask you to stay at the loft, you have it all sealed up." She said,
A look came over his face, "Yes I do, but you know what, I thought by sealing the loft, I could seal in the good memories with Mother, and the bad ones with her out. She was only there three months, so I don't need it sealed anymore, but how would you feel about staying there Abby? I mean I did"
"Yes, and you lived with Gina there as well, so no I don't care, I'm not frightened by your past, and really Rick, if you want to see her, it's OK, I understand. I would love to stay with you in your loft, let you tell me about the good days when your mother made that drink,"
"The glogg you mean, I hadn't thought of that" as a big smile came across his face. Hey do you mind if we decorate like I used to, I mean we'll be in New York, there will be snow, and well, it'll feel like Christmas again, well it will as long as you're with me." He looked into the smiling face of Abby, her eyes sparkling, a tear leaking out of one side of her eyes
"I'm happy Rick, the happiest I've been since I moved here, and yes we can do whatever you want to do, I'm looking forward to seeing that little boy side of you I've missed so very much. Call the mayor and let him know our plans if you're sure you want me to come"
It took a few hours for the call, Rick convinced her several times, she was coming with him, oh and she was visiting New York as well.
TBC