Hi my name is Tad, King of all other Tads.

I really like writing, just not for class

I guess i'll tell u about myself, I live in the USA

My Books are all of the LOTR and HP books and also Eragon and Eldest

My Movies are Monty Python and the Holy Grail, all of the LOTR and HP movies, all of the Star Trek and Star Wars movies, no i don't go to conventions lol

~92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off.~

Anyway, i probably will only write HP fics, but i might branch out and do more

Action/Adventure is in my ballpark and I have a lot of great action ideas, but not too corny like some stories where Harry gets to be like god or somthing, I hope ya'll like my stories

Ok, here is my take on the romance in Harry Potter, be it canon or fanfiction. My absloute favorite ship is Harry/Hermione, not necissarily because they are ment to be, but because I like slightly nerdy bookworms too. Harry is great for her because she doesn't have alot of friends and Ron is just too assholeish to her for them to work. My second favorite ship is Neville/Luna, need I explain. Third, Ron/Lavender, they are ment to be, he's shallow and she's superficial. Theres nothing wrong with either of these, but they tend to attract to eachother. Now for my least favorite ships, dun dun dun. Harry/Ginny... not only do I not like the way that JKR has made Ginny starstruck with Harry, but I have a personal vendetta against redheads (Ex-girlfriend). I'll read it if it's well written, but most of them are crap. Second, Ron/Hermione... ok, I know that most people on fanfiction are nerdy and don't have the best dating lifes, so let me, a semi-professional womanizer, tell you once and for all. IF YOU ARGUE EVERYOTHER DAMN DAY, THEN YOU ARE MOST DEFINATELY NOT FLIRTING. Might have some built up sexual tension, but there is no possibility of a love greater then the bro/sis kind between two people. My thind least favortie is McGonagall/Dumbledore... seriously people, think about it, she's like 70 or 80, Dumbledore is 150, he had to be 70 or 80 when she was born. If they get together, then it's like getting together with an old grandpa. It's just not right. Same thing goes for Harry/McGonagall or (insert random young wizard here)/McGonagall.

"Mr. Black to you, family and friends call me Simon." He replied, then winked at Tonks, "The ladies call me El Guapo Negro, the good looking Black."
"She's your cousin!" Hermione gasped, speaking up for the first time.
"Meh... She's a pureblood and I'm from the South, it could be worse. I know a guy who knocked up his sister. I'm just kidding though." He shot her a grin and snapped his fingers for his new signature effect. ~ Simon Black (Harry Potter), 'The Next Great Adventure' by The-Caitiff

“Aww, how adorable.”

Harry and Hermione whipped around to see Ron staring at the two animals.

“Was that you?” Harry asked incredulously. The blush creeping up Ron’s neck was the only answer they needed. ~ 'Second Chances' by Irish Valkyrie

"Chill, Padfoot. Um, guys, what were you planning on doing about this secret admirer? I mean she doesn't exist and Snape will be looking for her in the halls." A look of horror came to Sirius' face at these words.

"You will NOT turn me into a girl again! EVER!"

"No worries mate, we'll only do it when we have to." James replied. "But Moony is right, we are going to have to do something..."

Snape rushed back to his dormitory, leaping and jumping and wanting to sing with pleasure. He had just met the girl that he knew he was destined to marry. His one, his only, his darling... ~ 'The Stuff of Legend' by The Phoenix Queen

"PADFOOT!" James said, standing up, annoyed beyond belief. "You are a three year old! Go get a girlfriend."

Sirius cocked his head at James and said, "I've had plenty of girlfriends. One of them even colored in coloring books with me. She was my favorite," he whispered.~ 'The Man Diary' by Eternal Love LJ

“Well, that’s a load off not having to worry about the in-laws then, eh?” Ron provided with a smirk.

“Yeah,” Harry returned in a distracted voice, from Hermione’s guess still thinking about Jake and Miranda and how far he had come with them in the last year.

“Can’t imagine my mum would be at all thrilled if I owled her today and told her that I was going to marry some girl, even if it was a girl like Hermione. Just would not go over well at all in our house. Mum would probably assume I’d knocked her up or—” Ron suddenly stopped and shot a look over at Harry, a look that went from shocked to… one of mounting fury.

“Harry… you didn’t—” ~'Vox Corporis' by MissAnnThropic

Granger sat on the edge of his desk, shoving aside several—thankfully stoppered—potions with her hip before leaning down toward him. Her blouse gaped open in a fashion most shocking… What the hell were Potter and Weasley thinking? It was well rumored that the two little homos hadn’t even snogged Ms. Granger, much less wrapped their hands around the two melons staring Severus in the face at the moment. Youth really was wasted on the young. ~ 'Shampoo' by Cheryl Dyson

Also,He felt completely inadequate compared to the Dark Lord’s knowledge and skill. He doubted he could best him in a duel. It just didn’t seem like he had enough time to get as skilled as the Dark Lord.

“What about a time-delayed temporary shrinking charm on a couple dozen watermelons?” Tonks suggested. “We could shrink them down, convince him that they’re watermelon flavored tic-tacs, and boom!” ~ 'The Power Snivellus Knows Not' by nonjon

“Which one; Padma or Parvati?” asked Hermione.

“The twins - both of them,” Harry knew that it would be doubtful to bag both witches at the same time, but he also believed that they would be the only way to alleviate Ron’s predicament. Harry knew, just as every man knows, the sun seems to shine a little brighter when twins are involved. ~'Harry Potter and the Sword of Gryffindor' by cloneserpents

"What do you have there Mate?" Ron asked.

"Early Christmas presant for you," Harry replied. "What's the thing you want most in the world?"

"Pictures of Snape and Malfoy being tortured to death?" Ron answered immediately.

"Well here you are," Harry said grandly as he presented the picture.

"Thanks Harry," Ron said. "I . . . I don't know what to say." Ron was almost in tears. "This is the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me."

"No problem Ron, what are friends for." Harry pulled out a quill and began to write. ~ 'Pen Pals' Rorschach's Blot

Who ever said ‘sticks and stones may brake my bones but words will never hurt me’ must have lived in a cave all their life. Idiot had no idea what he was talking about. - Time,Interrupted

“God created dinosaurs, God kills dinosaurs, God creates man, man destroys God and man creates dinosaurs…” Jurassic Park

“It says it’s for Harry, Molly,” said Sirius.

“So unless if Sirius mistaken,” said Rapticon Sr., tilting his head to read the card, “Your twins are sending a –” he glanced at the twins and back at the box, “- Choco-box of Loco-Love to Harry,” he said, reading the tagline that was written across the lid.

The sound of footsteps came from behind and when the twins wheeled around, Ron and Ginny were walking towards the spot but stopped at the sight of the gathering in front of the drawing room door.

“Hey,” said Ron, “What’s up - ?”

Ron desisted when his eyes traveled to the box of chocolates in Fred’s arms. He then turned to his mum’s stunned face to Sirius’ and Rapticon Sr.’s amused looks, to the “For Harry” carry and finally, as they moved into Ron’s line of sight, Harry and Hermione. Seeing this, Ron’s eyes widened and face palmed.

“Not again,” he muttered.

Fred and George shot a look at their mum who was astounded as ever. A gush of panic came about in their insides making George instantly blurt out.

“I tried to stop him, mum!” he said, taking a step backward, pointing at Fred.

“What?!” Fred turned to George, aghast.

“He was mad, I tell you!” George proclaimed, ignoring Fred. “I – I tried to stop him but he was like ‘I have to give the chocolates, George! I can’t stop thinking about him!’ and I was like – ‘Don’t go there, Fred! Harry is only seventeen!’ and he retorted – mind you, with a fervor of a thousand fire foxes – ‘He’s of age, George! He is off age!’ So I tried to stop him and we were running, running, running and –”

Clunk!

Fred smacked George at the temple to shut him up. ~ Harry Potter Harry & Hermione Fluff Collection (Chapter 33)

Stargate Atlantis:

“Your bodies all underwent significant strain Doctor Beckett. We were able to run some tests while you were all out, and while you are recovering now, it will probably take several days to regain your strength. When those bracelets came off, all of you experienced…” She trailed off, her cheeks turning bright red.

Sighing, he finally relaxed and stopped fighting. What kind of doctor would he be if he resisted the advice of his own staff? “ Aye, Luv, I know what happened. No need to go into great detail.” He felt a blush staining his own cheeks.

Apparently all four of them had been put in the same room for observation, although Carson hadn’t noticed before. Leave it to Ronon to make this worse than it absolutely had to be. “Best orgasm of my life.”

Groaning, Carson buried his head in his pillow as best he could, and heard the echoes of two other groans from the opposite side of the room. “Ronon, I hope some day a large, hairy animal with enormous teeth gets you.” ~ Ties that Bind

Harry to Hermione:

“You’ll be fine, trust me. You could probably take your OWLs today, your NEWTS tomorrow, and graduate Hogwarts by the weekend.”~The Lie I've Lived

Harry talking to McGonagall

Harry didn’t know what to say. He had no idea that this might happen. He was never even a prefect. He then remembered that neither was his dad. He stood still for a while.

Finally Ron said, “Do you want me to enervate you?” He looked at Harry with a concerned look on his face.

“Why?” asked Harry.

“Because you look stunned,” replied Ron and broke up laughing.

Hermione groaned. “Ron!” she asked, “just how long have you been waiting for the opportunity to use that one?” ~ Harry Poter and the Story by Dad

“Please Headmaster, for tonight, I’m Harry and he’s Sirius.”

Sirius noticed Harry slinking away and slapped him hard on the shoulder in a friendly gesture, while adding, “But unless you count his back, he’s not really hairy. And I am rarely serious.”

“Oof,” Harry groaned, partly from the smack and partly from Sirius’ line. “Can’t you not crack a name joke, just once?”

Albus’ eyes were twinkling as he added, “If it makes you feel any better, I’ve never been more than two-thirds bus. Further proof there really is no truth in advertising.”

Jimmy, Harry, and Sirius all turned towards the Headmaster in silent disbelief. ~A Black Comedy by nonjon

Mrs. Weasley served them a chocolate cake for dessert, and Harry enjoyed his one slice and politely begged off from a second piece. While Mrs. Weasley didn’t exactly look pleased she acquiesced and said, “I have a week to fatten you up dear.”

Harry chuckled and asked, “You don’t plan on taking me out back for slaughter do you?” ~ Open Your Eyes: The Goblet of Fire by Mathiasgranger

“I’ve faced Death Eaters. I’ve faced Voldemort. I’ve even injected myself with poison to come back in time. I can face a dentist.” ~ The Time Meddlers by witowsmp

Ron wasn’t speaking to Harry, but he didn’t actually notice until it was pointed out to him by Ginny at dinner the next day.

“That prat thinks you should’ve told him how you were entering the Tournament.”

“Why?” asked Harry. “I figure that every cheater has to come up with his own method.”

“We quite agree,” said George from behind him.

“We didn’t give Ronnikins our aging potion, either,” said Fred. ~ witowsmp

"Yeah, I believe him. But I told him he should also tell Hermione that he fancies her. I said he had a week to tell her or else I'd tell Hermione."

"Ron!" Ginny laughed. "You did not!"

"I did," Ron grinned wickedly. "Oh, come on! You know as well as I do they fancy one another. They think the other will say no and make it all weird between them, but it won't happen."

"You think he'll tell her in time?" said Ginny, looking pensive.

"Dunno, but it'll be a fun week if he doesn't."

"This present so many opportunities . . . ." Ginny started with a mischievious glint in her eye. "What do you think? Should I pretend to fancy Harry again, throw myself at him?"

Ron nearly choked on the juice he was drinking.

--Same Story as above

"We fell asleep studying!" said Harry in protest. "It's not like you and I haven't fallen asleep in the Common Room while studying late."

"Yeah, but I don't curl up against you like Hermione did last night," Ron pointed out.

"Only because I pushed you away when you did," Harry smirked.

"What!"

"You were totally all over me when we pulled an all-nighter for that last Potions test."

"What, afraid of a little snog with your best mate?" Ron grinned, shifting next to Harry and clapping a hand around Harry's shoulders.

"Like you and Seamus last Hogsmeade visit?" said Harry, grinning wickedly.

Ron flushed horribly as he stared daggers at Harry. "I WAS DRUNK AND IT WAS A DARE!" he roared. From across the Common Room, their study group looked up at Ron's outburst. Very curious looks at Ron's outburst. If possible, Ron's face reddened even more. ~ Seven Days by Noctis

Luna smiled dreamily at Harry. “I wanted to volunteer to be the Count’s Insane Henchwitch.”

“What?” The question came from half the room including Harry.

“Well, Grindelwald had Christine and Voldemort had Bellatrix, so the Count (meaning Harry) can have Luna,” Luna answered with a happy grin.

“Would that make her a Luna-tic?” Al asked his brother in a mock whisper the whole room heard.

“Albus, don’t make me hurt you,” Luna replied in a happy voice. “At least, not before we have a safe word.” ~ Balanced Destinies by Dobby Elf Lord

I highly recommend heavy doses of Saturday Night Live and Monty Python when recovering from Dementors.~ Harry Potter, Mercenary by DobbyElfLord

Dumbledore nodded, then look at Snape. “Severus.”

“Five points from Gryffindor, Miss Granger, for pointing out our obvious flaws!”

“Another five points from Gryffindor for being a ‘know-it-all’!” Umbridge added, before turning to McGonagall. “Minerva?”

“One hundred points to Gryffindor, Miss Granger.” The old Scotswoman said proudly. “For an outstanding idea, and another ten points to Gryffindor, Mr. Potter, for dressing so smartly today.”

Again, Hermione preened, while Harry chuckled. “Sometimes, I wonder about you lot, I really do...” ~ The Real Us by Seel'vor

Hedwig and the other owls that had patrolled the skies of Little Wizarding and Windsor had been given specific instructions concerning the capture of the silver-pawed rat…he was to be captured alive. Harry’s familiar had followed those orders once, and where had that led? The rat was captured, released, and allowed to attack her human again. So this time….

Had she ever been asked, Hedwig might have been forced to admit that she had swept down on Wormtail just a little too fast, and dug her talons into her prey just a little too hard. And banging the vermin’s head against the ground until its neck broke?

The owl shook her head, and would have smiled if she could. Her human companion was so silly, to think that he didn’t need her around to keep him safe! ~ Muggle Summer, Wizard's Fall

As the students were filing out, Madame Pomphrey walked up to the staff table. “Professor Flamel? If you or anyone else was wishing to see the birth of an abomination of life, we’re doing it now.” The school’s healer then left and went back to her ward.

Nicholas jumped out of his seat in excitement and was clapping his hands joyfully.

Hermione had Tonks’s attention and asked, “Professor Flamel? Why are you so excited?”

“Professor Granger, I have lived over six centuries. And in that time, I have seen puppies born, I have seen cesarean sections, and I have even seen men pregnant. But I am quite sure I have never seen a man receive a cesarean section while giving birth to a puppy.” ~ Where in the World is Harry Potter? by nonjon

“Is Professor Granger one of them?” a girl asked.

Harry paused and thought about the best way to answer this one. “Hermione is probably my best friend, and certainly beautiful. But I’m pretty sure last I heard she was seeing Professor Flamel.”

“What!” a seventh year boy named Evan Morgan yelled. “He’s old enough to be her…” he seemed to be doing some high level mathematics in his head. “…ancestor.” ~ The Untitled Cheekquel Project by nonjon

His eyes fell back to the picture of Ginny and himself on the desk and Harry’s heart stopped beating for one full second. The man in the picture looked exactly like he did and the woman looked very similar to Ginny. The only problem was that it wasn’t Harry and Ginny snuggling in the picture. It was Harry’s mum and dad, Lily and James. Harry broke out in a cold sweat as a sudden realization dawned upon him:

‘Ginny looks like my mum!’

He’d lusted after a girl who physically reminded him of his mother! ~ Harry Potter and the Sword of Gryffindor by cloneserpents (Warning, a very... lets say racy, story)

“Oh, God,” Ginny cried into her hands. “I’m dead! I’m dead! I’m dead!”

“Don’t be so melodramatic, Gin-Gin,” Harry said in a calm and soothing voice. “Sure your folks’ll be mad, at first. But you’re their little girl and they love you. Hell, it’s obvious they love babies too, otherwise they wouldn’t have had so many.” With this point, Ginny’s head snapped up and she looked at Harry as if he was brilliant. Encouraged by Ginny’s expression, Harry forged ahead. “I’m sure that once the baby is born, your mum and dad will forget all about this. They’d probably love the idea about being grandparents once they hold the little tyke for the first time.”

“You’re right Harry,” Ginny cheered with a genuine smile. “I’ll hide my pregnancy! And after I give birth, I’ll surprise Mum and Dad with the baby!”

“That’s not what I said,” Harry shot back.

“It won’t work,” added Hermione.

“Yes it will!” Ginny said gleefully. “I’ll just use some glamour charms to hide any bumps or whatnot and my parents will be none the wiser.”

“Ginny, please stop and think about this,” prayed Hermione.

“It’s brilliant,” Ginny said with sparkling eyes and a dazzling smile. “And once the baby is born, I’ll show it to Mum and Dad and they’ll love it just like you said, Harry!”

The red head bounced up from the couch and twirled happily as Harry tried to defend himself. “But I didn’t...”

“Thanks Harry, you’re a lifesaver!” Ginny congratulated before prancing out of the Head Boy and Girl’s chamber.

“Oh, this will not end well,” Hermione breathed out.

“Somehow, I think this will come back and bite me on the arse,” Harry pondered. ~ Harry Potter and the Sword of Gryffindor by cloneserpents

Once, Harry had to pause in his frying to stop a House Elf who had not accepted the notion of The Great One baking. The little creature had gotten a length of rope and fashioned a noose. Harry tugged the elf off of a stack of chairs where he was trying to hang himself. ~HP&tSoG by cloneserpents

Currently, the monogram on the door was a large H.B. for Head Boy. McGonagall pointed towards it and explained that it would, of course, need to be changed.

Ron noticed something funny and started laughing.

“What’s so funny, mate?” asked Harry.

“Well, Harry,” said Ron, still trying to stop giggling, “when this is Hermione’s room, the door will have her initials on it.”

Harry thought about it a moment and determined that Ron was correct. He smiled a little and looked at Hermione and McGonagall. Mcgonagall said, “Of course. That was the only reason she was chosen.” ~ "Harry Potter and the Story by Dad" by Dad9

"We determined some time ago that the dark marks could be tracked by Voldemort. To prevent him from finding us by our prisoners, we have had to remove our Death Eater's left arms. We store them in case the opportunity arises to put them back."

"A little illegal," said Scrimgeour," but I won't say anything. Is this more of a problem for Pettigrew than the others?"

"His is a special case," said Harry. "When he helped Voldemort resurrect, he had to cut off his own right hand. Voldemort replaced it in much the same way that I, er, Poppy is replacing the limbs of some unfortunate people. I couldn't take the risk of it being traceable to its maker so I removed it, as well."

"I think, for the official report, you could just say you disarmed him," said Shacklebolt, throwing in some auror humor. Hermione groaned, again.

"That might make it a bit harder for him to point the finger at some of his associates," said Scrimgeour, getting into the flow.

"That's it," said Hermione, getting up. ~ Harry Potter and the Story by Dad - by Dad9

After the initial flurry of introductions and handshakes, everything calmed back down a bit until Charlie noticed the pile of jewelry.

"Did you lot knock over Gringott's?" he asked, browsing through the boxes.

"We were just picking out an engagement ring for Honey," said Hermione. "Harry was involved, though, so it naturally got out of hand."

"I had to go to the shop to pick out Fleur's ring," said Bill. "Do you know a trusting jeweler, or something?" By his expression, he doubted that was the case.

"Actually, I do," said Harry. "This came from the Potter and Black vaults at Gringott's, though. Honey said she wanted something that had a bit of history to it and I remembered that..."

"You remembered?" exclaimed Hermione. "I believe that I was the one who..."

"I'm sorry," said Harry. "You're like a part of my soul and it's sometimes hard to tell where I end and you begin." He kissed her passionately and she readily reciprocated.

"You are the smoothest talking bald-faced liar I have ever met," said Fred.

"Just wait on that judgment," said George. "We still haven't had a chance to hear what our kid brother told his teacher to get her to agree to marry him."

"It was pretty clever," said Honey ~"Harry Potter and the Story by Dad" by Dad9

Hedwig made her way into the common room through an open window. Harry raised his arm without looking, letting her settle, before she jumped up to his shoulder. She looked down at the book, appearing to intently read when Hermione made her way downstairs.

It was such a cute moment, seeing the two reading on the couch. Hermione just stopped and stared for a moment, before she came over. She plopped on the couch next to Harry, before reaching up to scratch Hedwig, who looked at her for a second, hooted at her, and went back to his reading.

A new song came onto the radio, causing Harry’s head to start bobbing in time to the music. To Hermione’s endless amusement, Hedwig started bobbing in sync with Harry, still reading over his shoulder.

“To the left...” Harry’s head bobbed to the left, Hedwig’s still in perfect sync, both still reading. “To the right...” Both did a double bob to the right, still reading the book.

I would kill for a camcorder right now. Hermione thought, totally abandoning any thoughts of Nicholas Flamel or the Philosopher’s Stone.

Harry closed his book, looking at his bobbing owl, before she jumped off his shoulder, and landed on the coffee table. Harry stood up, stretching, before looking over at Hedwig, who nodded eagerly.

“To the left... to the right... take it back, now, y’all.” Harry did the motions, sliding across the floor, while Hedwig mirrored him on the coffee table. Hermione burst into a fit of giggles, watching boy and owl dance in perfect unison.

“One hop this time!” Hedwig hopped forward on the table, while Harry jumped forward. Throughout the song, the two copied each other’s actions, dancing the whole way through, amber eyes locked on emerald.

Hermione was entranced. How does an owl learn to cha cha? ~ Harry Potter and the Quantum Leap by Seel'vor

'Neither can die while the other survives, huh? Interesting.' Harry thought. 'Pity the guy is a madman who couldn't be trusted, otherwise he and I could come to some sort of arrangement, and both be immortal.' ~ Partially Kissed Hero by Perfect Lionheart

Harry sidled up to her and took her arm. "Hey Ron. Give us a minute, I'm going to go feel up her boobs. We'll meet back with you downstairs, alright?"

The gossiping girls shushed, scandalized.

Ron's eyes grew round and he dashed off, panicked.

"Harry!" Hermione objected, shocked, blushing and outraged all at the same time.

He dragged her into a convenient broom closet and took out his Time Turner. "What? You don't want him to suspect what is actually going on, do you? We're going to be doing this all year. What more convenient excuse could you think of for always vanishing off together? This way everyone thinks they know what is going on, and won't bother to question further."

"You'll have the whole school thinking I'm a scarlet woman!" she objected, then muttered, "Actually, it's probably too late to stop that now."

He stopped and stared at her. "Very well. I'm listening. You come up with a better excuse, and we'll use that one. You can slap me in the face and rush off, all embarrassed, to tell everyone how I tried to take advantage of you. I'll even serve detention for it. Your reputation will be saved. But first, a good excuse we can rely on to get away for private moments to turn back time."

She stared at him helplessly for several long moments.

"We're going to be late for Muggle Studies," he gently reminded, lifting his hourglass on its chain. "These things only turn back by hours, not by 'hour and ten minute' intervals."

"You're not feeling up my boobs!" she told him firmly.

"Wouldn't dream of it," he quipped, then stopped himself. "No, wait. I lied. It actually keeps me up at nights, wondering what they're like, and wanting to find out. I keep picturing you in mussy hair and a Hogwarts tie, and nothing else, teasing your mouth with a quill as you ask me if I want to do homework together. But, sadly, they don't have an anatomy course at Hogwarts. It's all independent study. Curses, another dream destroyed!"~ Partially Kissed Hero by Perfect Lionheart

“So how’s life on the inside? If you didn’t know about Bellatrix, does that mean you’re not getting visions from Voldemort?”

Harry shook his head in disappointment. “No, I’ve been seeing plenty through his eyes. He’s murdered hundreds and practically controls the entire wizarding world now. Entire towns razed to the ground. He’s been putting off Azkaban, because he wants it to be the last and final conquest. From what I’ve gleaned of his plans, today’s going to decide it all. I could’ve warned them all of so many attacks if only someone came to visit me.”

“No one’s come at all?” A.K. asked. “Not even to rub it in your face and call you names?”

Harry shrugged. “Well, occasionally aurors and guards will come and beat me.”

A.K. wondered how long Harry had missed a woman’s touch and nodded a bit. “Well, that’s good I suppose.”

“No they beat me,” Harry clarified. “I didn’t say off at the end. Beat me as in Lucius and Narcissa behind closed doors. Not beat me as in Cho in the prefect’s bathroom for two galleons. Three if you want her to whisper things and moan.”~ Dimension Hopping for Begginers by nonjon

“You sure seem like a kid in a candy store, Hermione,” Harry observed, walking towards her as she was engrossed in exploring the bookshelves.

“Oh! I am,” she replied. “There are so many books here, so much to learn, I hardly know where to start. I wish I could buy them all, but we only have so much room in our car today.” Harry chuckled lightly at the fact that the one discouraging factor was not price or the time it would take to read all of the books, but that they didn’t have room to carry them all. - Harry Potter and the Divine Plan by Corruo

“You feeling okay, Moony?” Harry asked as he leaned on the counter next to Remus.

Remus half-heartedly grunted positively. “Considering last night, yeah, about normal.”

Sirius was still walking through the aisles looking at the goodies for sale. “I bet you’d be feeling better if you just let me keep you company, instead of you know who.”

“Voldemort?” Harry inquired.

Remus turned to Harry. “You think I spend the full moon with Voldemort?”

Sirius laughed as he picked up a product, smelled it, and set it back down. “I’d forgotten about all those nicknames like You-Know-Who.”

“Bleh,” Harry said sticking out his tongue. “Easy for you to forget them. You never even got one after breaking out of prison.”

“I should have gotten one,” Sirius realized and began to daydream aloud. “He-Who-Could-Not-Be-Contained.”

“Twelve years,” Remus reminded.

“For-Too-Long,” Sirius added.

Harry decided not to crush his godfather’s hopes of being nickname worthy. “I swear if I heard Hermione’s spiel about ‘fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself’ one more time, I was going find You-Know-Who and jam my You-Know-What You-Know-How into his You-Know-Where… hole.” "A Black Comedy" by nonjon

The sorting hat was once again awoken and it began its annual song:

I am the Sorting Hat and you're expecting a sorting song.
I'm getting tired of this, so I promise not to take long.
Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff , Gryffindor, and Slytherin.
They're all about the same. It doesn't matter which one I put you in.

But ickle firsties, your hair can be filthy, disgusting, and grimy.
I wish you would shampoo more. You're all a bit slimy.

"No offense, Professor Snape." The lackadaisical Hat broke from his song and assured the Potions Master. The Professor was about to curse the Hat when it continued its uninspired song:

You may fear the new caretaker, but I assure you it is not her.
Any problems or pranks, it's always that rotten twerp Potter!

He's here and watching you, like in Nineteen Eighty-Four.
He was always more Slytherin even though I put him in Gryffindor.
So be careful who you talk to and watch the food that's on your plate.
Now let me sort you lazy buggers and give me my two minutes of hate!

Nicholas leaned over to Albus. "I told you to let the hat enjoy his drinking. 'It's not a problem.' I said. 'He's a hat!' I said. But noooo, you just had to interfere and piss off one of the working millennium old relics around here."

"Careful what you say about millennium old relics, Professor Flamel." Albus snottily replied. - Where in the World is Harry Potter? by nonjon

I'll be happy to beta for anybody that asks me, just send me a review with your email address and story and all that good stuff!

Harry Potter and the Living Horcrux- 10/30/08- So, I've pick this story back up. I'm rewriting the opening chapter, making this the 3rd re-write. So if anybody happens to read this note before it's updated, then expect a very good story on the horizon.

This is the Path to the Dark Side- 10/30/08- Still on hiatus, at this point I don't think I'll ever pick it back up.

- King Tad