September 25, 2010
Castle slowly shuts the door to the guest room-turned-nursery and gives her a silent thumbs up when the baby monitor in his hand doesn't crackle with noise. They both make their way towards the stairs, tip-toeing quietly, and let out a collective breath when they reach the kitchen without interruption.
"That was terrifying," Beckett admits, sitting down at the counter, her head dropping into her hands.
"Need a drink?" he asks, opening up cabinets and taking out wine glasses.
"Please," she says as he selects a Syrah from his wine rack, giving her a healthy pour of the dry red. Their fingers brush when she takes the glass from him and he clears his throat, quickly retracting his hand.
"Parenting never gets easier. When Alexis was little, she had so much energy, she would bump into things constantly. I ended up putting a helmet on her so she wouldn't get a concussion."
"What color was the helmet? I want to get the full picture."
"Bright yellow. My mother actually started calling her my little lemon drop."
Beckett laughs, a loud and rich thing that fills the room and Castle grins, his eyes sparkling with warmth.
"I missed that sound," he murmurs. The detective quiets, straightening on her barstool.
"What did Sophia say?" she asks, puncturing the amiable mood.
"My dad returned her message. He's back in town and wants to meet."
"She couldn't have called you?"
"He's coming off an undercover op and needs to keep a low profile. She couldn't risk saying anything over the phone."
"I see," she says in a clipped tone, hiding her face in her wine glass as she drinks from it.
"What?"
"Nothing," she says innocently.
He scrunches his eyes at her. "Out with it."
She sets her glass down, her fingers twirling around the stem. "It's just...why now? If he was the man from the library in '77 and he knew about you being his son all this time, why is he interested in meeting you now?"
Castle bristles. "Maybe because keeping his distance was a way of keeping me safe. What difference does it make?"
She's silent. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything."
"Kate," he says, scrubbing his face. "I didn't mean…"
"No, it's okay," she says. "I'm being paranoid."
"You know how much I value your opinion."
She smiles sadly.
"If this is about Sophia. I promise you there's really nothing going on," he says sincerely.
"I didn't ask," she says lightly.
"You were not asking very loudly," he says playfully.
"It's just, I might have been a little bit taken aback to find out that you had...researched with someone else," she admits, taking another sip of wine to hide the blush in her cheeks.
"Look, it was never the way it is with you and me. I just hung out with her for a while to lend some authenticity to Clara Strike. And besides, Nikki Heat is a far more complex and...nuanced character."
"Uh huh."
"She is! And I'm a far more experienced writer, more mature," he says and she grins, bemused.
"How's the new Scarlett Rain coming along?" she asks.
"Ha. Next question."
"You're not writing?" she asks, concerned.
"Don't have a lot of inspiration lately."
She squirms in her seat. This was a bad, bad idea. Why did she agree to a drink again?
"Castle, uh…"
Sensing her discomfort, he asks, "Was there something about Sadie you wanted to talk about?"
She had almost forgotten. Gratified for the change in subject, Beckett explains, "She wanted me to look at a file. For her sister's case." She reaches for her bag on the kitchen counter, digging for the folder.
"Her sister?"
The detectives plops the information down, turning it open to the first page. He looks it over.
"Diane Cavanaugh? Why do I know that name?"
"She was one of my mother's—"
"Paralegals from the Justice Initiative in our time," he says, shocked.
She recounts Sadie's story and he listens patiently, silently thumbing through the file.
"Montgomery?" he asks once she finishes.
"I don't understand it," she says. "I wish I had my murder board from home. I had this whole set up in my apartment that I started while you were in the Hamptons."
"About your mother's case? You think this is connected?"
"It's just a feeling. Maybe not. I don't know."
"You've always trusted your gut. There could be something in here."
Castle spreads the papers, notes, and photo cards from the file over the counter. Beckett gives everything a cursory glance, overwhelmed by the amount of info. It's a painful reminder of all the dead ends and false leads she'd run into with her mother's case. One picture catches her eye and a cold feeling trickles down her back.
"Wait," she says, putting a hand over the photo and flipping it towards herself. "Does this look familiar to you?" she asks.
"An alleyway? It's not ringing any bells."
Beckett scans the picture again. "I'm 99% sure that this is the same alley my mother was killed in," she says, "I'd recognize it anywhere."
"Why would Diane have a picture of it?"
"Maybe it had to do with what she was looking into. Maybe something happened there," she posits eagerly. "I'll have Ryan and Espo dig into it in the morning."
Castle snaps his gaze to hers and she covers her mouth, gasping slightly.
"I forgot," she whispers.
He approaches her, unsure whether to lend a consoling hand on the shoulder or a hug. "I miss them, too," he says quietly.
They never talked about their old life, the memories somehow too painful and sharp.
The next things she knows, she's reaching for him and she's kissing him, soft and tentative. He cradles her face in his palms, his lips slowly moving with hers in an intimate caress that causes her heart to stutter. This was a very bad idea.
The baby monitor emits a scratchy wail, jolting them apart.
"Shit," Kate curses.
"I'll get him," Castle says, dazed.
"Okay, um, do you need help?" she asks, flustered.
"I've got it covered."
"Alright, well, then I think I'm gonna head home," she says, gathering the file materials from the counter and stuffing them into her bag.
Castle glances at his watch.
"It's late and it'll take you another hour to get uptown. Why don't you stay here? Take Alexis's room."
They both know she'd end up somewhere else.
"No, that's fine. I'll see you tomorrow at drop-off."
"Kate."
"Goodnight, Castle," she says, leaving before she does something she'll regret.
"What are you doing up?" Beckett asks, seeing her mother at the kitchen table reading a book.
Johanna doesn't look at her daughter, instead flipping to the next page and avoiding eye-contact.
"Castle called me. Wanted to make sure you got back okay."
"Oh."
Johanna turns toward her finally. "Why didn't you tell me you had to take Fitz to the hospital?"
"He's okay. It's just an ear infection," Beckett says.
"And Castle's with him now?"
"He's more than capable and it'll be my turn tomorrow."
Johanna shuts the book and crosses her arms. "Bug, what's wrong?"
"I don't think I was meant to be a mother. I'm messing everything up," Beckett says, dropping her things and collapsing onto a kitchen chair.
"That's exactly what all mothers think."
Beckett chokes out a laugh.
"What is it really? Is this about Castle?" Johanna asks.
"I kissed him just now and I…"
"Oh, honey."
"I don't know what I'm doing."
"You know, Kate, I've held my tongue this past month because your father says it's none of my business, but I hate seeing you like this...all miserable and broken-hearted," she says, "I know you don't want to admit it to yourself, but I saw it on your face in '77 and it's all over your face now."
"Saw what?"
"A girl in love."
"Mom!"
"Is it supposed to be some big secret?"
"I…" the detective deflates. "No."
"It's no wonder you found each other in this timeline, too."
"I never did ask...how did they meet?"
"He testified in a case for the defense, and you were the prosecutor," Johanna says.
"The defense?"
"He thought the defendant, a Kyle Cabot, was innocent."
"You're kidding," Beckett says, on a laugh.
"What?"
"That's the same case that brought us together in our timeline."
"Hmm."
It's Beckett's turn to say, "What?"
"Almost makes you believe in fate," Johanna says with a twinkle in her eye.
"When did you start believing in fate?"
"The day my daughter walked into my life from the future."
"Right."
"He drove her up the wall, you know. She couldn't stand him, but he got under her skin, so she had Sadie dig deeper into his claims and they found out he was right."
"So he's just as annoying as my Castle?"
"More so."
Beckett laughs. "How did they get together?"
"When the trial was over and Cabot was let go, he asked her out and she said yes."
"That simple, huh?" the detective grumbles.
"Six weeks later, she calls him into her office. He starts talking her ear off, telling her about this new book idea he has, and she tells him she's pregnant."
"Shut up! Fitz came from a one-night stand?"
Her mother nods.
"Castle was thrilled. He started following her everywhere, sitting in on all her cases, taking notes, and then knocking on her door late at night with take-out."
"Did they get married because of the baby?" she asks.
"Partly, but Rick weaseled his way into her life and her heart. He challenged her, made her laugh, and reminded her that life isn't all about the job. You're quite the workaholic, you know."
"Wonder who I got that from," Beckett retorts.
Her mother smiles sadly.
"Listen to your heart. I know that man will do anything for you."
"But that's the problem. He gave up everything for me and it made him miserable," Beckett shoots back.
"Are we talking about the same guy here? The man who practically has a jig in his step every time I see him?"
"He's been hiding his hurt," the detective says, sighing. "This place, this timeline. It's not the same. It's not his home."
"He wants to go back," Johanna says, her eyes somber with understanding. "And what about you?"
She stares at her mother, grasping for her hand, needing to feel her. Feel her alive. It still stuns her. But Castle was right. This wasn't their story. This past month has been horrible without him and she doesn't know how long she can keep doing this half-life.
"I love you," she says to her mother, tears misting in her eyes. "I don't know what to do without you."
Johanna draws Beckett toward her and the detective finds herself settling onto her mother's lap, her head tucking into her mother's shoulder like a child seeking comfort after a bad nightmare. She's too big but her mother doesn't seem to care, stroking a hand down her back.
"Yes, you do, bug. You did without me before."
"I don't want to leave you," she whispers into her mother's cheek.
"I'll always be here. It's okay," Johanna murmurs as she gently wipes the tears trickling down Kate's face.
"I wish it didn't have to be like this," Beckett says.
"No one ever said time travel was easy," Johanna replies and the detective lets out an unexpected snort, feeling lighter.
"The real question is, how the hell do we get back?"
xxx
June 28, 2010 - Castle and Beckett arrive in another timeline where Johanna is alive. The next day they discover Espo was killed in action and resolve to be happy.
July 2010 - They settle into a new life.
August 25, 2010 - They break up.
September 25, 2010 (Present) - Sadie brings Beckett information that sends her into a tailspin, Fitz gets an ear infection, Beckett meets Sophia Turner, Castle and Beckett go over Diane's case, leading to a kiss between the two, and Beckett talks with her mother, deciding she wants to go home with Castle.