Happy Tuesday, friends. Hope everyone's week is going well. Feedback is always welcome and appreciated.
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It felt earlier than normal when Alec's alarm went off. He felt even less rested than usual, his sleep having been disturbed by half-remembered nightmares that all seemed to jumble together. Last night had somehow involved the hidden Native American village that he still wasn't sure had actually been real.
As he rolled out of bed, Henry was already up and around. "About time, sleepyhead. Thought you were going to sleep the day away."
Alec groaned a little. Some things would never change. After he dressed, he and Henry headed to the track. The track was already abuzz with activity by the time the two men arrived, and Alec found himself looking around for Sarah. He quickly checked himself, knowing it was likely she wasn't here just yet. It was rare for afternoon jockeys to ride in the morning.
He and Henry made their way to the Hopeful Farm barn, where the grooms were already working on the horses. Pam's Song was the first to respond to their arrival with a high pitched whinny, which caused a ripple effect among the other horses. Alec gave each horse an affectionate rub on the nose and moved down the line to Storm Front's stall. The colt stood calmly while the groom worked on him, a noted change from when he had first arrived. He even allowed the groom to pick his hooves without a fuss, a job that had given Brian no end of grief at first.
"I'll take it from here, Ron." Alec told the young man, who nodded and left the stall. Alec picked up a comb and started working through the colt's tail. Storm Front snorted but otherwise gave no indication of displeasure.
Alec worked on his mane next, working his way to the colt's forelock. This was Storm Front's least favorite part of being groomed, Alec knew. This was more than just making the colt look good. This was also part of helping him learn to allow anyone near his head.
He reached for the forelock, and Storm Front started to pull his head away, though it was almost more out of habit than out of actual fear, and Alec was able to gently catch him before he got too far away from him. Storm Front snorted and shook his head, but grudgingly allowed Alec to comb through his forelock.
When Alec was satisfied with his work, he scratched Storm Front's neck. "There, that wasn't so bad, was it? Gets easier every time."
Storm Front let out a low neigh as if he agreed. Henry poked his head over the stall door. "Let's get this show on the road. We're losing time."
They agreed to send Pam's Song out for her workout and took the others to the starting gate. While Storm Front had experience breaking from the gate at a track, Night Sky had only broken from the small gate at the farm. Alec wanted the young colt to get used to breaking from the gate before his first race. And Storm Front could always use some extra gate work.
They sent the colts to the gate with their riders and took up positions near the rail. Alec could see Night Sky shying away from the other horses that were loading into the gate. He would give assistant starters some trouble, and Alec was glad they had decided to do gate work prior to his first start. Storm Front appeared to be calm, striding easily into the gate.
The thunder of hooves and the clang of the gate were oddly soothing, and Alec had to admit that he had missed the activity of the track. Being on the training side wasn't really so bad. And come race day, he could sit in the grandstand instead of being in the thick of the action. Maybe that wouldn't be so bad, at least for a while.
"Did you hear me?" He was suddenly aware that Henry was talking to him.
Alec shook his head. "Sorry. What were you saying?"
Henry let out an annoyed huff. "Never mind."
Alec glanced down at the gate, where the horses were once again loaded up. The gate released, and Storm Front broke cleanly, if a little slowly, while Night Sky reared up on his way out. "What's gotten into him?"
"He's done that damn near every start." Henry told him. "That's what I was trying to tell you while you were off in your own little world."
Alec sighed heavily. "I guess it's a good thing we started with gate work. Maybe he's not as ready to race as I thought he was."
"We'll keep working on him." Henry nodded toward Storm Front. "That one's improved a lot. Still a little slow, though."
"I don't know if he'll get any sharper." Alec answered. "We've been working with him almost non-stop up at the farm."
"Maybe he needs a break." Henry suggested. "Let's get him out on the track. We'll keep Night Sky at the gate. We can't have him acting up like that."
Alec nodded in agreement and trotted down to talk to Storm Front's rider. He gave the rider his instructions, and the rider turned Storm Front away from the gate and down the track.
The colt smoothly got up to speed, stretching out as he hit full stride. Even at a breeze Alec noticed how much his form had improved. Henry let out a low whistle. "Damn, that one has come a long way."
"He has." Alec nodded, feeling a bit of pride.
Henry clapped Alec on the back. "What did I tell you? I knew you could get something out of him."
"Let's see how he does in a race."
"We'll get him in one this week and see how he does."
The two men chatted as the morning progressed, finally calling it quits and taking the horses back to the barn. It had been a good morning's work, and even Night Sky had finally settled down and gotten a few good starts out of the gate. He and Henry compared training notes over a late breakfast before heading up to the grandstand to watch the afternoon's races.
Alec and Henry spent the evening deciding what races to enter the colts into. They had already settled on the Peter Pan Stakes for Pam's Song. They found a maiden special weight early on the Saturday card for Night Sky, and an optional claiming race for Storm Front, since Alec and Henry agreed that Storm Front wasn't quite ready for allowance company.
After they were done for the night, Alec stepped out onto the balcony. The cool air felt good, and the quiet of the night allowed him to be alone with his thoughts. He briefly thought about knocking on Sarah's door, but he was sure she would already be in for the night and not up for company. Besides, he didn't want to get too attached.
"Hey you." Sarah's voice invaded his thoughts. "Fancy meeting you here."
"Hey." Alec turned toward her. "I figured you'd be in for the night."
"A few of us went out after the races tonight. Figured it'd be a good way to get acquainted with some of the other riders."
Alec felt a small stab of jealousy, but quickly squashed it. "Those guys didn't give you any trouble, did they?"
"Nah." Sarah waved a hand dismissively. "Becky and I have each other's backs, and those guys know better than to try anything with me. I'll knock them on their asses."
Alec chuckled. "I don't doubt it."
"So did I miss anything?"
"Just a couple of trainers figuring out where to place their horses this weekend." Alec laughed. "We're boring."
"You're hardly boring." Sarah moved closer. "Just hardworking."
Alec felt his nerves jangle a bit. "You're still free to ride, right?" he said with a casual tone he didn't feel.
"Of course." Sarah nodded. "Henry's already got me up on Pam's Song for the Peter Pan."
"We're putting Storm Front in an optional claiming race on Friday and Night Sky in a maiden special weight on Saturday. I'd imagine Henry wouldn't mind having you for either one of them."
"I haven't ridden either one of the colts."
"Night Sky's kind of green. This'll be his first race." Alec told her. "Storm Front's got race experience, but not at a high level."
"I've ridden a few first time starters." Sarah laughed. "They're always a wild card. I had one throw me at the Fair Grounds last year."
"Anyone hurt?"
"Not badly. Got banged up a little bit. The horse went on and finished the race without me, the little bastard."
Alec chuckled. "Amazing how some of them just follow their training."
"Anyway. It's no problem to ride either one of them."
Alec nodded and they fell into silence again. He glanced over and spotted a few tendrils of hair that had worked loose from her ponytail. He was sorely tempted to reach out and touch them, just to tuck them back behind her ear.
Sarah caught his eye just as he was about to reach out, quickly taking out her ponytail holder and redoing her ponytail in one move. "My hair's a mess. I know."
"It's fine."
Sarah gave him an amused look, moving closer to Alec. "You looked like you were trying to fix it."
Alec felt his chest tighten, unsure of what might come next. He couldn't deny his attraction to Sarah, and it appeared the attraction was mutual. But something kept him from making that next move.
Suddenly he felt Sarah's lips on his, a quick peck that startled him out of his thoughts. She pulled back just as quickly with a broad smile. "Told you I liked you."
Alec found himself speechless. "I...I like you too."
Sarah moved in close again. "Don't just tell me. Show me. Unless you're scared."
"I'm not scared." Alec's words came out sharper than he intended.
"Then what's the problem?"
It was too much for Alec to try to explain. His attraction to Sarah was at odds with his memories of Pam, with his own fragile mental state, with the knowledge that Sarah would be gone at the end of the season and he would find himself alone again. "I don't know." he finally answered, his voice barely above a whisper.
Sarah took both his hands in hers, their fingers interlocking. The simple contact felt so right, so real. Before he knew it her lips were on his again, lingering this time, and he wanted so badly to just let go, let things go wherever they would go.
Alec could feel Sarah's lips moving from his mouth, to his jaw, to his ear. "Relax." she whispered, following by a brief giggle. "You're wound up so tight."
"I can't help it." The roughness in Alec's voice caught him by surprise.
Sarah pulled back at that, looking at him with concern. "You all right?"
Alec huffed in frustration. "I don't know. I don't know." He released Sarah's hands and turned away, leaning over the balcony and staring down at the parking lot below.
"You aren't gonna jump, are you?" Sarah's voice broke the silence, a teasing tone in her voice.
Alec chuckled a little. "Not tonight."
"Oh Alec." Sarah sounded contrite. "I had no idea. I shouldn't have said that. Me and my big mouth."
"It's okay." Alec assured her.
"No, it's not." Sarah answered firmly. "I should know better, and I'm sorry. I won't say it again."
"Listen." Alec gently nudged Sarah's shoulder with his own. "I'm not so goddamn delicate that I can't take a joke."
"Hell of a thing to joke about."
Alec stared thoughtfully out over the parking lot. "The thing is, even when I was at my lowest, I never really wanted to kill myself. I didn't feel much like living, but I didn't want to die, either."
"I'm glad." Sarah smiled at him. "Otherwise we never would have met."
"And we wouldn't be here now."
"Exactly." Sarah leaned over and placed a quick kiss on Alec's lips.
Alec chuckled. "You don't quit, do you?"
"Do you want me to?"
Alec took a deep breath, his heart pounding. Without a word, he leaned in, he pressed his lips to hers, nudging them apart with his tongue as the kiss deepened. He could hear Sarah's breath catch in her throat as she returned with equal force, leaning into him and wrapping her arms around him. Alec slid his hands to her waist and up Sarah's back, breaking away to leave a trail of kisses down her neck to her collarbone.
He wanted more. Oh, how he wanted more. He could feel Sarah tug at his shirt to slip her hands underneath, her rough but gentle hands sliding up his back. It was almost more than he could take.
Alec's breath turned ragged as he found his way under Sarah's shirt, stroking the soft skin underneath as he kissed the base of Sarah's throat, working his way back up to capture her mouth again.
After a lingering kiss, she broke away briefly to look at him. "We'd better take this somewhere else if we're gonna keep this up."
Alec definitely didn't want to stop. "I don't think Henry would appreciate the extra company."
"Guess that leaves my room."
In a few steps, they were at her door. The brief time to took for Sarah to unlock the door was long enough to allow doubt to creep back into Alec's mind. He shouldn't go so far so fast with her. It would only lead to trouble for both of them. Was the momentary pleasure worth it if Sarah only wanted this one night with him?
Before he could think too much more about it, Sarah took his hand and led him inside, closing the door behind her. She fixed her eyes upon him, that same expression she wore just before surprising him with that first, brief kiss.
That look brushed Alec's doubts away, at least for the moment. And that moment was all that mattered.
Alec leaned in, pinning Sarah against the door with a firm, lingering kiss. The spark was undeniable, and that spark reignited the flame that had burned so brightly between them only moments before out on the balcony.
Sarah pushed back just as fiercely, her hands tugging at his shirt, working the buttons loose and splaying her hands across his bare chest. Alec nearly as quickly pushed up Sarah's sweater, sliding his hands up her ribcage, fumbling around for the clasp on her bra.
Sarah broke away just long enough to pull off her sweater and undo the front clasp, letting the bra fall to the floor. Alec almost immediately cupped her breasts, his thumbs brushing against her nipples. A soft gasp and moan let him know he was on the right track, sparking even greater desire in him.
Suddenly Sarah pushed him backward, both of them staggering toward the bed. The back of Alec's knees hit the bed, and they fell together, Sarah climbing on top of him, clasping his hands and all but pinning him beneath her.
She was relentless and Alec loved every minute of it. Her boldness, her fierceness, fed his desire, and he didn't know how much longer he could hold out against such an assault.
Eventually she released him, leaning back as she straddled him, seeming to appraise him. She traced down his chest with one finger until she reached his belt buckle. Alec, in turn, reached up to stroke the soft skin of her belly, lingering at the button of her jeans.
Alec shifted, deftly rolling Sarah to her side, their bodies pressed together, their hands fumbling to rid themselves of the remaining clothing that separated them. It was a moment of exquisite mutual frustration, and it only made Alec want Sarah more.
Finally, there was nothing left between them. Lips and tongues and hands explored every inch of flesh, punctuated by the occasional gasp, moan, and laugh as they found each other's most vulnerable spots.
All too soon it was over, and the two of them lay together in silence. Alec was exhausted, but found himself fighting sleep. Despite the great release of tension, he knew it was likely his nightmares would still haunt him, and he saw no reason to subject Sarah to them. It was one thing for her to hear them from another room, quite another for her to hear them happening next to her.
At the same time, he was reluctant to leave her. He enjoyed the feeling of intimacy after the evening they had shared, and was loathe to break the spell. Reality would intrude soon enough. No need to hurry that along. He would just lay here for a while.
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He slowly opened his eyes, the taste of copper overwhelming his senses. His head hurt, God, it hurt. And it was cold, so cold. It was unusually quiet, too, and as his vision adjusted, he could make out the trees that surrounded him.
For the life of him he couldn't figure out what he was doing here. Nothing was familiar. He vaguely remembered the sound of airplane engines and the smell of fuel.
Something had happened to him. He wished like hell he could figure out what.
He slowly sat up, testing his limbs. Other than his head, he seemed relatively unhurt. He swiped the back of his hand against his mouth. It came away bloody. He ran his tongue around his mouth. He seemed to have all his teeth, at least.
He rose to his feet, a wave of nausea overtaking him. Too fast, he thought as he gagged and vomited into the snow. He wiped away the remains and took a few steps, not sure which way would get him out of here.
'I've gotta find help. I need help.' he whispered to himself as he slowly made his way forward. Suddenly a clearing appeared in front of him, and he could hear the sounds of traffic. There was a road ahead. He just had to reach it. Surely someone would help him. Someone could help him put the pieces together.
He staggered toward the road, momentarily blinded by approaching headlights. The vehicle whizzed past without noticing him.
He weakly waved his arms as the next vehicle approached, and he thought he saw it slow down. It stopped just past where he stood, and he limped toward it.
The car had its hazard lights on, and the driver's side door opened. A shadowy figure stepped out, shining a flashlight in the darkness. The pain when the light hit his eyes was overwhelming, and he nearly passed out. The figure ran toward him, catching him before he fell.
"Oh God, what happened?" the voice was soft, unmistakably female.
"Help." he croaked. "My...my head...help."
He was barely aware of being loaded into the front seat. The doors slammed shut, the vehicle started, and they started down the road. Music came from the radio, and the girl started humming along. It sounded both familiar and brand new. Even the girl seemed familiar, though he couldn't place her.
"The nearest hospital isn't far. Don't worry."
He nodded and closed his eyes. His head still throbbed, but the music and the girl's voice were soothing.
He awoke to the sound of squealing brakes. The car swerved as the girl fought for control, while he sat, helpless to stop it. Suddenly they were crashing, tumbling, falling, falling, falling. He heard screaming, then silence.
The car had stopped, though the music still played. He reached over to the driver's side, finding the girl. "Hey, you okay?"
She didn't respond. He leaned in closer. Her eyes were open, but she was unresponsive. He could feel the panic rising. "Wake up. We crashed."
Her head turned toward him, her face expressionless. "You did this. You killed me."
He recoiled in horror. "No...no. It was an accident."
"Oh Alec." she hissed. "Get out. Start running before they find you."
The girl collapsed and sank into the seat, and he knew she was gone. The only thing he could hear was an anguished scream...
The scream faded as Alec sat bolt upright in bed, shaking, sweating, and thoroughly disoriented. He felt a hand reach out and touch his arm, startling him. It was then he finally remembered where he was.
Oh God, Sarah. He had probably scared the hell out of her.
He heard her shift next to him, and suddenly her arms were wrapped around him. "Are you okay?"
"Fine." He could hear the tension in his voice. "I should go."
He pulled away and started searching for his clothes. They were all mixed up with Sarah's, and he was getting irritated. "God damn it."
The light came on, bathing the room in soft light. Alec turned to see Sarah sitting up, appraising him. His irritation went as quickly as it had arisen, replaced by a sadness he couldn't quite explain.
"Sarah, I..."
"You don't have to explain." Sarah leaned across the bed and gave him a quick kiss. "We can talk later if you want."
Alec had rarely felt so vulnerable. He didn't like it. Without speaking, he found his clothes and dressed. He'd be damned if he was going to let Sarah know just how exposed he felt in that moment.
He glanced back, trying to decipher Sarah's expression. It probably didn't mean much, just that it was late and they were both tired. He considered just leaving, but couldn't. Instead he returned to the bed, leaning down and giving her a gentle kiss. "I'll see you at the track. Get some sleep."
"You too."
He turned out the bedside lamp before leaving. Yes, it would be better if he returned to his room. It would be better for both of them.
He managed to let himself into the room without disturbing Henry. Even with that, he knew he would be in for a lecture from the old trainer. It was odd, Alec thought, that Henry would be bothered that he was spending time with Sarah, when Henry was the one that had encouraged him to do so in the first place. He probably hadn't expected Alec to spend half the night with her. Hell, he hadn't expected to, either.
Alec let out a heavy sigh as he lay down. He had the distinct feeling that things were about to get a good deal more complicated.