Happy Wednesday, all. Enjoy the new chapter.

The smoke was so thick, Alec could barely see. He could hear the flames consuming everything in its path.

"I've got to get them out." Alec said to himself. The smoke burned his eyes and throat as he went from stall to stall, desperately trying to get these horses to leave the barn. Where was Henry? Where was the rest of the farm crew?

He heard the high-pitched sounds of panicked horses all around him, but he couldn't find them. "Black! Satan!"

Finally he could make out the shadowy figures of their bodies. "It's okay. I'm going to get you out of here."

Before he could reach them, he heard a thunderous crash. The barn roof had caved in, blocking his path. He heard the crackling sound again, another crash, horses whinnying. He had to get them out. He had to.

But there was nowhere to go. Every path of escape was blocked. Alec felt his own panic rising. "HELP! SOMEONE! HELP! WE'RE TRAPPED!"

No one answered. The smoke grew thicker, and Alec could feel his breath get shorter and shorter as the flames surrounded him. He couldn't move, couldn't breathe. He felt his eyes close, fought it with everything he had until there was nothing left. He barely felt the flames as they seared his skin.

He suddenly found himself floating above the burning barn, the night air cool on his skin. He could breathe freely now. Someone had rescued him, somehow.

"Alec." Pam was next to him, floating in mid-air.

"Pam." Alec reached out to her.

"You're okay now." She told him with a smile. "You can let go."

Alec tried to touch her, but his hand went right through her. "Pam? What's happening?"

"Relax. You're okay."

"Why can't I touch you?"

Pam reached out and tried to touch him, her hand passing through his body as though it wasn't there. Alec felt a wave of panic wash over him. "Oh no. No, it can't be. I'm not ready."

"You don't get to choose your time."

"NO."

Alec awakened with a jolt, the cry dying in the darkness, his breath coming sharp and fast. He felt Sarah move next to him, her hand smoothing across his chest. "You okay?"

"Yeah, fine." Alec was still shaking as he covered her hand with his own. "Didn't mean to wake you up."

Sarah moved closer and laid her head on his chest, and Alec could feel his emotion rising, that all too familiar lump in his throat. It was bad enough waking up alone after these nightmares, but to subject Sarah to them was too much. "I should go."

There was a long silence. "I don't want you to go." Sarah answered quietly.

Alec let out a sigh, shifting so that he faced her. "I'm just going to wake you up again, if I get back to sleep at all. Trust me, it's better if I go now."

Sarah reached up to caress Alec's cheek. "I get what I'm dealing with. Used to hear you up at the farm. Scared me half to death at first."

"It's different when someone's screaming their head off right next to you."

"This isn't the first time, remember?" Sarah pointed out. "I can't say I'll ever get used to it, but it doesn't scare me like it used to."

"It still scares the hell out of me." Alec replied, his voice shaking.

"I'm sure." Sarah replied in a soothing tone. "Have you ever talked to anyone about it?"

"God, no." Alec scoffed. "No one wants to hear about it. My dad and Henry want to forget it ever happened, and my mom just wants to...smooth over it. I don't know. I can't really explain her."

"I meant a professional."

"No way in hell. As it was Henry thought I should be in an institution."

"Oh Lord."

Alec let out a short sigh. "I don't know how serious he was. I know that they all want me to be who I was before...that. And...I just don't think I ever will be again."

"What did happen to you out there?" Sarah asked after a long pause. "If you don't mind me asking."

"I'm not entirely sure." Alec admitted. "I crashed the truck and trailer, the Black and I made it out, and after that...it gets confusing. Something happened, but maybe I just hallucinated it. I guess we were in pretty bad shape when we were rescued. We'd been missing for a month."

Sarah nodded. "You did mention that part. About being gone for a month."

Alec didn't know how to explain what had happened to him, about finding the hidden Native American village, the lush greenery. It seemed so real, and yet, Alec found himself rationalizing the events more and more as time went on. He had been injured, though not badly, and dehydrated from wandering lost in the desert for so long. Of course he had hallucinated the whole thing. It was the only explanation that made any sense.

Finally, he took a deep breath and continued. "I really thought I had found this secret village. There was some prophecy that involved the Black. It just felt so real. But it couldn't have been. I must have hallucinated it. I mean, I was already half-crazy when I took off. It wouldn't have taken much to push me over the edge into full crazy."

"I don't think you're crazy at all." Sarah told him softly. "You were hurt and grieving. Running off was the only thing that made sense."

"It was stupid of me." Alec answered harshly. "We could have died out there and no one would have known."

"You're being too hard on yourself."

"No, it was stupid, I get that." Alec let out a resigned sigh. "I had just, you know, never lost anyone like that before. Family members, that kind of thing, but not..."

"A girlfriend."

Alec chuckled darkly. "I'm not sure she was ever my girlfriend."

"But you cared about her. That makes a difference."

"Yeah, I cared about her." Alec answered softly, his throat tightening again. "Maybe even loved her."

"Oh Alec." Sarah squeezed him, and Alec thought he might fall apart completely.

It was then he realized how he must sound, mooning over Pam as he lay beside Sarah. And yet, she wasn't pushing him away. Alec didn't know what to think.

"Sorry, I shouldn't be unloading on you."

Sarah let out a little laugh. "Well now, I did ask. I told you I was nosy."

Alec couldn't help laughing himself. "You did warn me."

She placed a quick kiss on his lips before pulling back to look at him, studying him closely. "I hope you'll at least think about talking to someone about all this. Someone who isn't me or your parents or Henry. You shouldn't have to carry this pain around with you for the rest of your life."

"We'll see." Alec was still skeptical about the idea, and wasn't sure where he'd find someone like that in the middle of upstate New York farm country. He wasn't entirely convinced that someone wouldn't want to put him away.

Sarah huffed but didn't respond. "I'm gonna try and go back to sleep. I won't make you stay, but you still can if you want."

At the moment, there was nowhere else Alec would rather be. It wasn't long before Alec felt his eyes drifting closed, his body curled up against Sarah's. Even if he only slept a little bit, it was worth staying.

Alec awoke to the sounds of someone moving around the room. It was barely light, and Alec couldn't make out anything.

"Heading out, Henry?" he mumbled.

A soft laugh and a kiss on his forehead made it clearer. "Not Henry."

Alec chuckled in response and caught Sarah before she could pull away, bringing her in for a lingering kiss. He broke away, studying her, absentmindedly playing with her hair. "Definitely not Henry." he murmured. "You're up early."

"It's nearly eight." Sarah answered as she pulled away and twisted her hair up in a bun.

Alec was baffled. He couldn't remember the last time he slept in so late. A normal day had him up long before the sun. He quickly tossed the covers back and began getting dressed. "Jesus, Henry's going to kill me."

He glanced up to see Sarah regarding him with an arched eyebrow. "What?" he asked, somewhat exasperated.

"Nothing." Sarah answered, an amused tone to her voice. "You're just acting like a teenager that's been out all night."

"Wouldn't know." Alec grumbled.

" Relax." Sarah told him firmly. "Told you you're wound up too tight."

Alec sighed, feeling his shoulder slump slightly. "I assume you're headed to the track. I can give you a ride."

"I'm actually meeting with Jeff." Sarah replied, a slight edge to her voice. "He called me early this morning."

Alec couldn't believe he had slept through that, although he seemed to vaguely remember a phone ringing in one of his dreams. No matter. "Should I come with you?"

"Absolutely not." Sarah answered sharply. "He's already mad enough. No need to provoke him further. Besides, I can handle myself."

Because you've done a bang-up job so far, Alec thought angrily. He quickly checked the thought before it came out of his mouth. This was hard for her, too, and he would be wise to keep that in mind.

Instead he let out a little huff, rising from the bed and buckling his jeans. "Well, if you need me, you know where to find me."

"I appreciate it." Sarah crossed over to where he stood, slipping her arms around his waist and giving him a quick kiss. "I'll see you later. Got four rides today."

Alec nodded, kissing her forehead before returning to the room he was sharing with Henry. The light at the table was on, and Alec entered to see Henry poring over the Daily Racing Form, the local paper, and lists of past performances. He glanced up when Alec walked in.

"Well, well." Henry commented casually. "Look what the cat dragged in."

Alec was at a loss for words, and so simply shrugged. Henry shook his head and returned to his pile of papers. "Your life, your business." he muttered. "I brought you coffee."

Alec picked up the cup and took a sip. It was cold, but he drank it anyway. "Anything good in there?"

"Checking out the field for Saturday." Henry answered. "As I thought, there's a few of them coming up for the Preakness that didn't run the Derby. Most of them seem to be the also eligibles. Fair number of Derby runners aren't bothering with the Preakness."

Alec nodded, picking through the pile to look over the field for today's races. He scanned over the fields, noting the races Sarah was scheduled to ride. As he studied more closely, one of the entries caught his eye. "Did you see this entry in the fourth race, Henry?"

"Hm?" Henry looked up, intrigued.

Alec handed the paper to Henry, tapping at the entry. "4-year-old filly, dam sire is Golden Vanity. Rest of the pedigree looks solid too. What is she doing in a claiming race?"

Henry took the paper and studied it with a frown. "Her record's pretty spotty. Had a good two-year-old season, then faded in her three-year-old season. Looks like she ended up in the claiming ranks last fall."

"Maybe I'll go take a look at her." Alec told him. "The extra funds that Dad authorized will be more than enough to claim her."

Henry nodded, handing the paper back to Alec. "It's your decision."

Alec smiled a little. "You don't have any advice for me?"

Henry shrugged. "I can't tell you much that you don't already know. You've got good horse sense."

The unspoken part hung between them. Alec sighed and finished the rest of his coffee. "Think I'll head over to the track."

Henry nodded, returning to his work while Alec found a change of clothes and headed to the shower. Once under the warm water, he couldn't help but reflect on the previous night. It wasn't just the physical intimacy that drew him to Sarah, but their middle of the night conversation. It was a different kind of intimacy, and Alec suddenly felt uncomfortable about sharing so much with her.

He let out a long exhale and leaned against the shower wall, letting the water wash over him until it went cold. It wasn't just the pain of losing Pam so suddenly that he was carrying around with him. It was all the harrowing experiences that he'd had up to now that weighed on him. Frankly, he'd had enough adventures to last him a lifetime. He just wanted a normal life. Was that so much to ask?

He was still wondering what a normal life would look like as he headed off to the track. Maybe in time he would meet a nice girl, settle down, have a couple of kids. And maybe those kids would want to be part of the family business.

But he had already met a nice girl, hadn't he? Eventually, wouldn't Sarah tire of the itinerant life of a jockey and want to settle down, too? Alec imagined she might be a little gun-shy after what she had gone through with Jeff, but he wasn't Jeff any more than Sarah was Pam.

He was no closer to a conclusion when he arrived at the track and made his way to the barns. Such reflection could wait for another time. In the meantime, he had other business to attend to.

Alec found the barn where his prospect was kept and entered, nodding to the grooms as he passed through. After chatting with a couple of them, he tracked down the horse he was looking for.

The man in front of the stall frowned at him. "Alec Ramsey? What brings you out here?"

Alec nodded toward the stall. "Checking out your filly. Golden Dancer?"

The man's eyes narrowed suspiciously. "The hell does Hopeful Farm want with a claimer?"

"I'm in the process of building up my own training string."

"Interesting." the man nodded. "Trying to break free from the old man?"

"Nothing like that." Alec chuckled. "Just going in a slightly different direction. So tell me about her."

The man opened the stall, clipping a lead on Golden Dancer's halter and walking her out of the stall. "We'll take her out to the paddock and you can check her over. She's sound."

Alec followed the man out to the paddock, noting the filly's movements. She seemed healthy enough, though a bit gangly. He suspected that she just hadn't developed like one would expect from a world-class filly, and her owners were losing patience.

He took the lead from the man, walking her around the paddock. Alec knew from studying her past performances that she had some speed potential, but tended to fall apart at longer distances. She seemed to prefer the turf to the dirt, a bit of a surprise given her pedigree, but her performances since the middle of her three-year-old season had been mediocre at best. Alec wondered if turf sprints would be a good fit for her. The problem, of course, would be finding space to train her.

"She's pretty solid. Takes to training pretty well, but we're having trouble keeping her focused when another horse runs up on her right side. We've tried a closed blinker on that side, but then she gets upset that she can't see what's going on over there." The man shook her head. "She's got a lot of potential. We just can't seem to unlock it."

Alec nodded. "She seemed to get off to a good start in her two-year-old season. Did something happen to her at three?"

The man looked pained. "Her first start she got all tangled up with two other horses right out of the gate. She was fine physically, but never seemed to get over it mentally."

"Poor thing." Alec rubbed the filly's nose. She nudged him in response.

"She's a nice enough horse, but she's not performing. I can't keep her."

Alec understood, though it pained him. This was a tough business, and every dollar counted. But he was in a position where he could take some time to work with her. And he had people up at the farm who would be only too happy to spend some extra time with her. She seemed like a good, solid, healthy filly, and maybe with some time and effort, Alec could turn her around.

"I'd like to bid on her."

"Done." the two men shook hands, and the man led Golden Dancer back to the barn. After signing the necessary paperwork, Alec gave the filly another scratch on the nose.

"Good luck with her." The man told him.

Alec knew it would take more than luck to make something out of Golden Dancer. But he had managed to get Storm Front moving in the right direction. Maybe he could do the same with Golden Dancer.

He found himself at loose ends afterwards, and so decided to walk around a bit. Pimlico was familiar territory for him, of course, but this time felt different. For one thing, it wouldn't be him up on their Preakness entry this time around. Alec still didn't know how he felt about giving up riding. He knew it was the right decision, and yet, he already missed the excitement of race day. From being surrounded by other jockeys in the locker room, the competitive spirit evident in the conversations, to readying himself in the gate, to the thrill of a good break from the gate.

And of course, the joy of a win or a heartbreak of a tough loss. It wasn't the same watching it from the stands, no matter how invested he was, and it never would be.

Alec paused as he approached the track itself, watching a few late runners. It was hard to imagine never getting up on a horse to race again. Making the transition from rider to trainer was going to be tougher than he thought.

"Beautiful, aren't they?" the voice startled him out of his thoughts. Alec regarded the man warily.

"What do you want?" Alec asked sharply.

Jeff shook his head. "Nothing, man. Just wanted to apologize for...you know, at Belmont. You sure can throw a punch."

Alec still didn't trust this man or his motives. "Okay, sure."

"I mean it." Jeff continued. "I guess I was just blinded by love. Sarah, she's...she's something special. Always has been. I saw it in her when she was just a girl."

That made Alec's hair stand up on end. How long had Jeff been pursuing Sarah?

"Anyway," Jeff went on. "I signed the damn papers. Ain't no use chasing someone who doesn't want to be caught, you know? You gotta know when to quit. So I guess she's all yours."

Alec couldn't help but chuckle. "Sarah doesn't belong to anyone. She's her own woman."

"You already know, don't ya?" Jeff's voice developed a hard edge. "She ain't gonna stay with you, either. Hell, she's probably already moved on."

Alec knew Jeff was just trying to provoke him. He wasn't going to rise to the bait this time. "Nature of the work, man. She can't stay in one place too long."

"And you're just gonna accept that." Jeff snorted and shook his head. "You're a damn fool. A damn fool."

"Maybe so." Alec smiled a little. "But I can't force her to stay any more than you could."

Jeff's face was stony. "Just you wait. She'll break your heart, too."

With that Jeff walked away, his posture that of a man utterly defeated. Alec felt bad for him, on some level. He too, had tried to keep someone with him who didn't want to stay, and had broken his own heart in the process. Alec hoped he had learned a little something from that, but there was still a part of him that wanted to convince Sarah to stick around.

But that wasn't his decision, Alec knew. Sarah would stay or go of her own accord, and Alec had no choice but to let her. The thought made Alec's heart ache a bit.

The announcement over the loudspeakers for the first race of the day broke Alec out of his thoughts. He was already here, so he might as well see if he could find Henry and watch the day's races. At the very least, he could see how Golden Dancer performed. Hopefully at the end of the day he would be the owner of another horse.

Alec tracked Henry down in the grandstand, where he was once again surrounded by his old friends. He moved to the row just above them and sat behind Henry, waiting for the trainer to notice him.

"I see that girl of yours is riding today." one of the men commented.

"Yep, yep." Henry nodded.

One of the others shook his head. "That makes three of 'em riding here. Crazy what this world is coming to."

"I wouldn't have one ride for me." another man asserted. "They're too damned emotional. Probably cry as soon as you look at 'em."

"Not Sarah." Henry answered defensively.

"Oh, sure, no, not her." the other man demurred. "She seems like she's got her head on straight. Not like some of those other ones."

"Sure makes you wonder why the hell any of these girls want to ride with the men." the first man chimed in.

"How do you think a lot of them get in?" the second man nudged him. "You know it's not because of their talent."

"Oh, some of 'em have a talent, alright." the first man chortled.

Henry glared at them. "Alright now, pipe down. Race is starting."

Alec was glad Henry had said something, but was irritated he hadn't come to Sarah's defense. No, Sarah wasn't like that, and frankly, Alec didn't know any female jockeys that were.

After the first race, Henry turned around, seeing Alec for the first time. "When did you sneak in here?"

"Oh, right about the time you guys were talking about 'the girls'."

The other men grumbled and rolled their eyes. "Alec, you're just a damn kid. What do you know about women?"

"Enough to know that you're wrong about them."

The first man fixed him with a knowing look. "I guess you know about one in particular."

Alec felt his face heat up, and caught Henry shaking his head out of the corner of his eye. He took a deep breath and rolled up the program in his hands. "Henry can vouch for her. He had her riding for him long before I met her."

"Henry, you old dog!" the second man hooted.

"Now you listen here, Ralph!" Henry's own face reddened as he stabbed the other man in the chest with his finger. "She ain't that kind of girl, and I ain't that kind of man. She's a damn good rider. You think she won the Derby by accident?!"

Alec suppressed a smile as Henry finished his tirade. The older man had come a long way.

"And as far as I'm concerned," Henry continued, "what she and Alec are up to ain't none of my business, or yours."

Ralph looked stunned. "C'mon, Henry. I was just joshing ya."

"Well, it ain't funny." Henry answered sharply.

There was an uncomfortable silence as the men settled in to watch the next race. Alec couldn't help but smile as Sarah's horse won by five lengths.

"Ah, hell." Ralph grumbled as he crumpled his ticket. "About time for me to quit betting."

Henry glanced back at Alec with a brief wink, and Alec returned it with a nod. He couldn't deny how satisfying it was to watch Sarah make a fool of these men.

Soon the other men said their goodbyes, barely nodding at Alec as they left. For his part, Alec couldn't care less what they thought of him, or his relationship with Sarah. As Henry had said, it was none of their business.

Alec climbed down to sit next to Henry. "Glad to see you stick up for Sarah."

"I meant it." Henry told him firmly. "Those old goats don't know what they're talking about."

Alec was tempted to point out that not so long ago, Henry had been one of those old goats, but wisely let it slide. He was starting to come around, and that was good enough.

"So did you put in a claim on that filly?"

Alec answered with a nod. "She seems healthy, and I think she has some potential. Her owner said she had a bad experience in her first three-year-old start and never really got over it."

"That's a shame." Henry shook his head.

The horses were loaded into the gate, the bell rang, and the field took off. Golden Dancer broke well, leaping ahead of the field and starting down the track. Alec gestured to Henry for his binoculars, training them on the filly as she rounded the turn.

"23 for the quarter. Not bad." Henry commented.

Alec nodded as he watched, noting the filly's strong stride as she ate up the dirt. He was pleasantly surprised that she was doing so well when he spotted the horse coming up on her right side.

Golden Dancer's head moved at the sight, throwing her ever so slightly off stride. Her rider got control of her, but not before the other horse passed her, sweeping past Golden Dancer just under the wire.

Alec was already making training notes in his head. Even with the blinker hood, the filly had shied at the other horse who had passed her. There had to be something more he could do to help Golden Dancer get past that. If he could, the filly still had a lot of racing potential.

Henry clapped Alec on the shoulder. "You're gonna have your work cut out with that one."

Alec nodded, already thinking. He knew training horses meant working with them mentally as well as physically. As with Storm Front, he would have to spend even more time working with Golden Dancer mentally. He hoped she would be worth it.

Alec made his way to Golden Dancer's barn to finalize the buy agreement. Soon after, he took her down to the Hopeful Farm barn, walking her on her lead. She was well-mannered, with an easy stride. If Alec could get her past her problems, she could be a fine addition to their barn.

Pablo, one of the grooms, broke out into a grin when Alec walked in with Golden Dancer. "You make a new friend, Alec?"

"This is Golden Dancer." Alec answered with a smile. "Can you fix up a stall for her?"

"Sure thing."

Pam's Song poked her head over her stall door, curious about the new arrival. Alec reached out to scratch her between the eyes. "You've got company, sweetheart. Be nice to her."

The filly snorted and nudged at Alec. Golden Dancer tossed her head and whinnied.

"Someone's jealous." Pablo commented.

Alec chuckled, leading Golden Dancer into the stall. "Welcome home, girl. I hope you like it here."

The filly turned in the stall, exploring every corner before sniffing at the hay rack. She tentatively took a mouthful, chewing slowly before returning for more. Pablo let out a short laugh. "She seems to like it."

Alec nodded, glad to see Golden Dancer taking so well to her new surroundings. Hopefully she would adapt as well to a new trainer. He would see once he got her back up to the farm.