Day 4 - Then
"We definitely have to do that again before we leave," Aisha sighed as we disembarked in the morning. "I could get used to this lifestyle."
"Is that your way of saying that you're paying this time?" Zack asked, a smirk crossing his lips.
"I'm not the one with the money," She scoffed and redirected her attention to Rocky, "Ask Mr. Open Bar over here."
"I'm never gonna hear the end of it," Rocky sighed. "I threw up once and she suddenly thinks that I have a drinking problem."
"You emptied them," Jason laughed. "The bar had enough alcohol to supply a nightclub. It's all gone."
"Nuh-uh," Rocky shook his head, "Tommy over here was running back and forth with a bottle all night."
At the sound of his name, Tommy's head shot up. All morning he had been walking around with a pair of glasses and a sour expression.
I've been keeping myself busy since I woke up. I headed in the exact opposite direction that he was, trying my best to avoid him. I didn't even look at him, only using my peripheral vision to steal glances at him.
I couldn't sleep last night. The words that had come out of my mouth were replaying back and forth. They were out before I even had a chance to stop them. It was what I felt at the time, but it was the wrong thing to say. Why the hell did I put myself in that position?
That was a fantasy that I had envisioned in private. I had no right to say them out loud and put them in the universe. He's probably thinking that I'm this psycho ex-girlfriend that hasn't gotten over him or something, which is far from the truth. I contemplated swimming to shore last night or finding a lifeboat to take me back to the hotel, but that would make things way more obvious. I needed to be slick about my escape. My plan was simple: avoid Tommy completely until Cole arrived. These thoughts wouldn't be here once he arrived. Then once we're back to Angel Grove, things will go back to normal and Tommy will be a memory from my past.
Good plan! All I need to do now is stick to Trini or Aisha like glue. That way there is no room for anyone else.
As we continued up the boardwalk, I felt a soft tap on my shoulder.
"Hey, can I talk to you for a minute?" Tommy's said, his brows furrowed from the sun. He had removed his sunglasses.
I looked at him and cursed at how the sun had just given him the perfect tan, making his features more prominent, "Sure. What's up?"
His hair was facing every direction, the whites of his eyes tinted pink like he had not had a good night's rest. Had he been up all night thinking about what he had said too? "I just… I feel like I should apologize for last night."
"Right," I sighed, "About that—"
"Did I do something that I shouldn't have?" He said, surprising me.
"What do you mean?"
"—I just haven't been that blacked out in a long time," he rubbed at the back of his neck with his hand.
"You mean, you don't remember anything?"
"No," He cracked an apologetic smile. "I just woke up with a pounding headache and this huge urge to apologize. So, I'm sorry if I said something stupid. I tend to just spew bullshit. I don't want you to think I'm just this giant asshole."
"You said nothing wrong," I did my best to put on a smile, although I found it to be quite painful. "When the night was over, we just got up and went to bed."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes," I nodded.
"Okay," he let out a long breath, which sounded almost like relief. "I've been panicking all morning, and then you seemed to have been avoiding me completely, so I just naturally assumed that it was another one of my fuck ups."
"No," I shook my head, "I'm sorry. It had nothing to do with you." My head continued to shake as I struggled to come up with a lie. It had everything to do with him. "I've just been seasick and I needed to get back on land. The last thing I needed after we decided to be friends is to have you watch me bring up last night's dinner."
"Right," he smirked. "I don't think you'd want me to see that. Well, it's good to know that things are fine."
"We're fine, Tommy… but the night is still young. There's plenty of time to fuck things up," I teased, grinning.
"Then how about an early dinner? I saw this restaurant called Par La Mer, heard some people talk about it, the food sounds good. It's french, but whatever," he smirked. "We're going to the restaurant Jason's parents own tomorrow anyway… that's greek, I think. What do you say?"
"Dinner? Just you and me?"
"Yeah," he shrugged like it was no big deal because it was no big deal. "I'll even show you the sunset you missed."
An evening dining with Tommy Oliver might have been my dream when I was young. Today, at nearly thirty years old, it doesn't sound like such a great idea. But what can I really say? Sorry, but I can't because when I'm with you I can't think straight? I don't have an excuse.
"Okay," I dipped my head, "Tell me when to meet."
"At five. That gives us enough time to get something to eat before the sunset begins."
"And everyone else?"
"I've been spending every second with them the last couple of days. I think I just need some one-on-one time with a friend."
"Five it is then," I tried to hide my smile that was growing.
I think I changed my outfit five times in the course of ten minutes. Nothing seemed appropriate to wear. Really, what would be considered appropriate? When I had packed every outfit back in Angel Grove, I didn't pack one with the intention of dinner with my ex-boyfriend. I didn't want to make it seem like I was trying to dress up for him, because I wasn't, but every outfit that I put on seemed out of place.
Tucked away under a stack of neatly folded clothes, I found the one. It was a flow chiffon dress in white that echoed the colors of the island. The hem almost kissed the floor, but the sandals I had brought along with me had offered me just the perfect amount of height to prevent it from touching. This was the closest I've been to a wedding dress.
I had purchased it with every intention of wearing it on a romantic dinner with Cole. I had already pictured the evening with him; white dress, candlelit dinner, post-sunset, a walk under the stars. Maybe I was expecting too much. Cole was a romantic guy but we hadn't had a date in weeks. He's been busy working on the merger and I've been slaving away making sure that Pearson Media is still number one in the eyes of the public. I knew the guilt would eat at me if I wore the dress with dinner with Tommy, but that was something I could deal with later. Besides, Tommy and I weren't going on a date.
Maybe I would feel a little better after speaking to Cole. I dug through my purse and pulled out my phone and dialed his number. After a few rings, I received his voicemail. It was nice hearing his voice after being on the yacht all night with no communication to the outside world. I chose not to leave him a message right then. I'll wait to talk to him once he calls me back.
With a quick shake of my head, I grabbed the dress from my bag and threw it on. I was sure that I loved it in Angel Grove, but there was something about a summer tan in Santorini that made this dress ten times better. This dress blurred any insecurity that I had about myself.
I chose to wear my hair down tonight. It was already waving from the moisture in the air. I wasn't used to so much humidity. I used my curling iron to define a few of the waves but left it pretty natural. I didn't want it to look like I was trying to hard because I wasn't.
The hours down to five seemed to drag on forever. I was like an impatient kid at Christmas wanting to sprint down the stairs to see what Santa had brought me. When the time finally came, I walked down to the lobby to find Tommy waiting for me in the most perfect blue suit. My jaw would have dropped if I wasn't so busy trying to keep my shit together.
Hello, GQ? I just found your new cover model.
When his eyes landed on me, the world melted away. It was the same look he had given me on our junior prom, when I walked down the stairs in a fabulous pink dress. He didn't blink as his eyes trailed from my head to my toes. When I had asked him why he had done that, he said it was because he didn't want to miss a moment. He was doing that again.
"Wow," I heard him say under his breath. His words rippled through me like aftereffects of a rock skidding on water.
What do I even say? Now it looked like I tried to get ready for him, which I did not.
"You look…" He paused for a moment, his mouth opening and closing for a word I was sure he didn't want to say. "You look… great."
The word great was both a disappointment and a relief to me.
"Thank you," I dipped my chin because a compliment from him still affected me, "you look very… nice."
Understatement of the year. He looked incredible. Who would have thought that blue suited him the best?
I cleared my throat to break from this silence that had somehow grown within the last ten seconds. "Where to?"
"Right," he nodded, "The restaurant isn't too far of a walk from here. We should leave now so that we can make our reservation."
"You made a reservation?"
"Yeah," he rubbed the back of his neck, making the fabric around his arms tighten, "I just wanted to make sure we had a seat."
We made small talk as we walked over to the restaurant. We kept it casual, mostly asking about our families and what we planned for the future. We reminisced about our much younger years because it was easier talking about how we used to be as people.
When we finally sat down at our table, we ordered our dinner, some drinks (though I noted Tommy chose alcohol, again), and took in the scenery. The restaurant was on a balcony overlooking the vastness of the ocean. The moist air danced around me through a soft breeze.
"It's so beautiful here," I said, motioning towards the water.
"Yeah, it is," he nodded. "I've always wanted to come to Santorini. It was on my bucket list as a kid."
"You had a bucket list as a kid?" I nearly choked on my water.
"Yeah, didn't you?" He smiled behind his beer.
Well, I mean, there were places I wanted to see but I didn't call it a bucket list. That's a little morbid, don't you think?"
"Nah," He shrugged. "It comes hand-in-hand with living. You can't have one without the other. It's guaranteed to happen."
I suppose he was right about that, but it wasn't really something that I thought about at such a young age. The reality of living and dying didn't hit me until I was a ranger. It was then that I realized how definite dying really is. My parents were too busy bickering at each other to teach me real life lessons. I guess I learned about life by myself.
"We should come back here," I said, surprising myself.
Another trip with Tommy? What is wrong with me?
"Just us?" His brow quirked.
"All of us," I clarified. "We should all get back together and come back here for another vacation."
"Do you really think that'll happen?"
"Of course! It can be Jason and Trini with their three perfect kids," I giggled, "Aisha and Rocky with their crazy bunch." I smiled as I pictured the craziness that would come with having Rocky as a father.
He held my gaze, "And what about us?"
"Huh?"
"Us?" He asked again, continuing to stare at me, "What do you see for us?"
I looked down for a moment, wondering what my future would hold. "You can bring Giselle and I'll bring Cole."
He let out a huff of air and released a mumble I didn't quite hear.
"You really see yourself with him for the long haul, don't you?"
"Of course I do." I sat back.
"And what makes him so great?"
The thought of needing to defend myself and my relationship made me want to vomit. "I thought I explained myself to you last night."
"Oh right, he's a good boy," he smirked. "Didn't realize that's what made him stand out above everyone else you've dated."
"Well, if you must know, Cole is different than anyone I've ever dated," I said, defensively.
"Meaning?"
"Meaning that he ticks off all the boxes. He has a good job, he comes from a great family, no criminal record, my parents love him, he's stable, we have a lot of things in common—"
"—Sounds boring," he rolled his eyes
"Boring?" I squeaked.
"Yeah, where's the adventure? You really want someone that's exactly like you?"
"Shared interests are important."
"Shared interests are important when you're looking for a friend."
"And the basis of any romantic relationship is friendship. That is enough for me."
"But where's the thrill?" He sighed, like he wasn't satisfied with my answer.
"Not all of us are thrill seekers, Tommy," My chin tipped up. "Some of us want the security that comes with a relationship. He's dependable. He loves me. And I'm almost thirty. I want kids and he wants kids. What more could I want?"
"So you go on and live a nice suburban life?" His chuckle almost sounded like one of pity. "That's what you want? PTA meetings and brownies. Sunday night football games with the Jones'? All of this only to come home to a man that's just… enough? Sounds pretty Stepford wife to me."
The blood inside of me sat in a rolling boil that was waiting to spill over. How can he begin to pick apart my relationship when he knows nothing about it. I don't have the perfect relationship, but it's right for me. I fought for years to get to where I am and finally open up to someone. Maybe it came easy for Tommy to move on after I was gone, but it wasn't easy for me. I fought the war day after day.
When I met Cole, it seemed like there was finally peace. He healed me in so many ways and I am forever thankful. It took years of hard work to not see Tommy's face in every red jeep that drove by me.
"I'm sorry," he cleared his throat, like he had finally come to his senses, "I shouldn't have said that. I'm glad he makes you happy."
I said nothing for a lot longer than I intended to, but where did I begin? Did I tell him that he was right? That it was easier to love someone who loved me more than I loved him because it meant that I would never feel the immeasurable grief again? I mourned Tommy like he had died. I missed him. I ached for him for months after he was gone. If Cole left… I would be okay and knowing that was a guilt that I've carried with me for months.
"Are you, though?" I raised my brow at him. This was probably the most forward I had been with him since we've been speaking. "Because there's a part of me that doesn't believe you."
When he brought his beer up to his lips and smiled, I had my answer.
"And you and Giselle?" I probed, " In it for the long haul?"
His eyes narrowed. "She's stuck around me this long and she's put up with so much of my bullshit…" he sighed like it had just unlocked a memory, "I don't see things going any different."
"You think you finally found the one?"
He nodded, continuing to stare at me, "I know I found the one."
When dinner finally arrived, we used the time to truly enjoy ourselves. We didn't bring up the conversation of relationships again. It was clear that we were both sensitive about our significant other. I'd just hoped that she was as nice as Trini made her out to be.
Tommy and I laughed some more over dinner, ignoring the heated conversation that we had before our meal had arrived. When it came time to leave, Tommy insisted on paying. He pulled me aside a small courtyard outside of the restaurant where there was live music playing. Tourists had circled around the musicians, some dancing and some simply enjoying the melody. When I turned to ask Tommy a question, he held out his hand to ask one of his own.
"Let's dance."
Author note: Hey guys! More to come VERY soon. Unfortunately, updates are going to slow down for me because school is starting back up, but I have the next few chapters written. I'm just going to finish editing and I'll be posting very soon. Thank you for your nice reviews and messages. See you next time.