Days passed and the seasons changed.
Leaves fell from the trees, succumbing to the cold weather and the reaching hand of time. Snow began to fall and coat the mountain as it always did. The sound of my feet crunching the snow could barely be heard above the howling wind.
The wind bit at everything it could reach, leaving it's mark on everything present. It made chopping trees extremely hard, forcing me to ask my older brother for help.
Tanjuro had always been on the weaker side, being out in the snow for too long would not do him much good.
I would chop the wood and he would place it in the basket. I could keep swinging the axe without stopping, meaning that the cold could not settle into my hands. In all honesty, I enjoyed spending time with my brother.
He would often tell me stories of places far away, where the sun would always shine and everybody was happy. Far away from our little home up on the mountain.
Mother would tell us stories too, although she liked to scare us from time to time. She would tell us stories about demons. Man eating monsters that would catch you if you went outside after sunset. I used to believe her when I was a child, too scared to even peek outside of my room at night.
Now I realise it was nothing more than a trick. A clever way to ensure that we did not sneak out at night.
Tanjuro is five years older than I am. He will be twenty soon, a fully grown man. Mother has already found a wife for him, one of the prettiest girls in the town at the foot of the mountain. She would always wave to us as we sold charcoal, blushing slightly whenever Tanjuro looked her way.
When that happens, the house will be overcrowded. Tanjuro and Kie-san will have children. Mother and Father will be looked after by Tanjuro and Kie-san, as they are growing older by the year. That leaves me, but there will be no room for me.
I wish I could stay here and Tanjuro does too. We have spoken about it many times under the stars, he doesn't want me to go. His reasoning being that he wants me to be a role model to his children, an uncle that they can rely on.
It sounds nice, it really does. But I have always been an outcast outside of the family. I was born with a large birthmark that dwarfed the left side of my face. It flows from my hairline down to my chin and around my left eye. Due to this, everyone stares at me like I am some kind of monster.
I let my hair grow long so that it falls over the mark, even then it is still visible. It is unsightly and I wish I had never been born with it. Tanjuro says that it is the mark of a warrior, but he is just trying to make me feel better.
If I could, I would scrub my skin so vigorously that it would disappear. All it has ever done is curse me to be looked down upon. The feeling that runs up my spine whenever anyone in the village looks at my face makes me feel ill.
Half of them pity me. Whispers about the unfortunate boy with the birthmark can always be heard whenever we sell our charcoal. The other half snicker behind my back. I vastly prefer the laughter to the pity, at least somebody can find some joy in the situation.
Something hits me lightly on the head and I stay my hand.
"You're thinking too much. Breathe, Yoichi."
Tanjuro smiles down at me, the snow falling all around us. He always seems to know when I am feeling down, it's almost like magic.
He too has a mark on his face, although it is far smaller than mine. It is only on his forehead and can be hidden easily by his hair. Sometimes I think he is lucky for that, but then I remember that his body is weak. He looks as if the wind could blow him away.
I take his advice and breathe in, filling my lungs with the cold mountain air. It is so cold that even sweat fails to form. The men in our family breathe differently, deeper and longer than usual.
This is thanks to the Kagura dance that we learn to perform, which requires the use of a special breathing technique. To be able to dance from dusk till dawn is not something that can be done normally, so we have to breathe properly.
Tanjuro can do it, even with his weak body. The way that my older brother dances is fantastic. It steals your breath, watching him pirouette through the snow as he performs each segment with ease. He is better than Father, who taught us the dance. The mesmerising movement of Tanjuro is special, not even the falling snow can keep up with him.
The axe sinks into the wood and the tree falls, the sound snuffed out by the carpet of snow it falls atop. Tanjuro scoops up the pieces and places them in the basket, smiling softly as he does so.
"Tanjuro, you should go back inside now. Catching a cold before Kie-san comes will make Mother angry at the both of us."
I speak to him as I hoist the basket upon my shoulders, continuing to breathe deeply as I do so.
He nods at me, not replying vocally. The cold air must have gotten to him. We move quickly through the snow. He always moves as if he is dancing, each step placed perfectly in a rhythm. I try to match him, yet I can never reach the same precision that he does.
"Mother, we're home."
The sun had set upon the mountain many hours ago. I lay awake listening to the birds when something else catches my attention. The sounds of branches breaking echoes throughout the woods and into the household. My hearing has always been exceptional, so this intrusion fails to escape me.
I slip out of my futon, taking care not to disturb the sleeping Tanjuro as I do so. Whatever is out there is not an animal. The animals of the forest are not so careless.
The air is even colder than in the day, stinging my eyes and freezing my lungs as I shut the sliding door behind me. The sound of branches breaking has been replaced by the sound of something whimpering.
I seize the hatchet that I use to chop wood, pulling it from it's resting place. Even though I cannot move like Tanjuro, I can still cross the distance without making a noise.
My feet rest above the snow, failing to break the surface as I shuffle towards the noise. The whimpering is accompanied by a slurping, occasionally disturbed by the sound of sinew and muscle tearing.
The moon is hidden by clouds, casting the forest into a deep darkness. The only thing I can hear is the sound of my own heartbeat. I can feel the fear creeping up my spine, mixing with the cold air to strike at my heart. I must keep going, whatever it is could be dangerous.
I slip into the cover of the trees, I am closer to the sound now. It is only a hundred metres away from our house. Far too close, it is lucky that I was still awake.
The cold freezes my heart as a sliver of moonlight lays the situation bare. The light has exposed a gruesome scene. A woman has been spread throughout the forest, her remains painting an awful scene.
Kneeling over what seems to be her head is a man, the source of the slurping. Bile floods my mouth and I have to resist the urge to vomit. The pure white snow has taken on a crimson shade and the smell of death lingers in the air.
I take two steps backwards. The snow crunches. Shit. The man turns his head to look at me and that is when I realise. It is no longer a man. Blood dribbles from his mouth, trickling down to his chin and falling onto the ground. I know him.
"Takahiro-san?"
He lives in the town at the foot of the mountain, with his two daughters and his wife. He should not be here, especially not at night. His eyes weren't always red, they were a light green. Why is he here?
He responds to my voice with a growl, another sign that he is no longer human. He looks like Takahiro-san but I know deep down that he is not.
Something catches my eye, a haori that has been torn to shreds. It belonged to his eldest daughter who treasured it greatly, always wearing it whenever she came to buy charcoal. Then that means…
I gulp down the bile and resist the urge to shriek, it would wake up my family and then they might be in danger too. I know what he is now, the stories that Mother told us must be true. Man eating monsters that rule the land when the sun goes down.
He rises to his feet, casting aside the head that he held in his hands. He has just cast aside the head of his daughter, something that he had been feasting on. This entire situation is fucked. But if I run home, he will follow me.
He will eat Mother and Father and Tanjuro. Tanjuro who will be married in a week, Tanjuro who will have a family. Even if he is the elder brother, I have to protect him. Even if the fear stops my heart and turns my nerves to stone.
I tighten my grip on the hatchet, it splinters against my hand. The feeling reminds me that I am alive, that I can do something in this moment. I will protect my family, even if it means becoming a murderer.
"I'm sorry, Takahiro-san. But if you come any closer, I will have to kill you."
I speak to him again, I'm sure that he did not want to do this. He cherished his daughters, loudly proclaiming that they were the prettiest girls in the village. The haori that he had torn to shreds was something he had made himself, in honour of his daughter's birthday.
He doesn't hear my words. He hears my voice, but not the words that I speak to him. It is too late for Takahiro-san. Even if he is one of the people who spoke about my birthmark, he was still kind to Tanjuro. For that, I will try and make this quick.
I can tell from the way his legs move, he will pounce towards me. There must be ten metres between us, but the stance he takes suggests that he will be able to cross that distance. The only thing I can do is meet him halfway and take him by surprise. For that, I will have to dance.
He pounces at a blinding speed and I move to meet him. The Kagura has twelve segments, each corresponding to a variety of movements. They have their own separate names, which I have always found interesting. I breathe, taking in the frozen air.
Oxygen fills my blood and my muscles roar, I push downwards against the snow and use it as a springboard. My feet do not sink into it, but instead gain purchase impossibly. Takahiro-san looks surprised as I reach him in the blink of an eye, already swinging the hatchet.
The weight of the hatchet closely matches the kagura and everything clicks into place. I know which segment to perform. To make this quick, I'll remove his head in a single blow.
I'm sorry, Takahiro-san. I couldn't stop you before you hurt your precious daughter.
"Hinokami Kagura: Solar Heat Haze!"
The axe seemed as if it would miss and he lunged forward, only to find that it had passed clean through his neck. Blood splattered across the courtyard and his head hit the ground near my feet. I had taken off his head in one singular blow, the head of a man that I knew.
I vomit on the snow, falling to my knees as I retch out the remnants of the past day's meals. I am now a murderer. It was to protect my family, but I have now killed someone. The sensation of the axe passing through his neck is something that will live with me forever, the wet thud of his head hitting the snow will haunt me for the rest of my life. I am sure of it.
I wipe my mouth with my free hand and rise to my feet. What do I do now? Do I contact my family and explain it to them? Will they even believe me? A thousand thoughts race through my mind, until something startles me.
His body has begun to move, even though it has lost it's head. It pushes itself up, twitching awfully as it does so. I cannot believe what I am seeing, the man that I have just killed is not dead. He stands up, even without his head. He stumbles momentarily, before lurching towards me.
I step backwards and raise the hatchet. I have to make sure he cannot get up again.
Every time I cut him, he heals. I have cut off an arm only for it to grow back within minutes. Again and again the hatchet carved into him, yet he carried on moving. He is certainly no longer human. The only thing I can do is keep cutting and cutting.
The sun rises and the pieces of Takahiro-san burn to ash and crumble away, leaving only his clothes stained in blood. I am exhausted, it must have been two hours that I spent cutting him. Even with the dance, it has taken everything out of me. I fall backwards into the snow and stare up at the sun. It seems that the sun is the only way to kill demons, the axe could not do it.
I do not know how long I was lying there, but I hear Mother scream. A bloodcurdling scream is the only appropriate response for this situation. Tanjuro and Father rush over to me, standing over me as I struggle to get to my feet.
That is when I realise, Father is looking at me as if I am a monster. The same way that people have looked at me in the village. My haori is soaked in blood, I am holding a bloody axe and there are bits and pieces of Takahiro-san's daughter spread throughout this clearing.
"You… what have you done?"
My father points at me, his voice quivering. The look of disgust that he wore is forever burnt into my soul. Even though I fought a demon to protect them all, he sees me as a monster.
"I didn't kill her, a demon did."
I tell the truth. A truth so unbelievable that it could never be believed. A demon did kill her and I cut the demon into pieces. I did it for them, for all of them. That is why I did it.
He looks away from me, trembling as tears run down his wrinkled face. He raises a hand to cover his eyes. I have never seen Father cry before, but now he cries. He won't even look at me.
He has judged me guilty before the trial. I turn to Tanjuro, who looks incredibly sad. That kind smile he always showed me was replaced by sadness. If Tanjuro looks at me like that, my heart will break.
"It wasn't me! I'm telling the truth!"
I raise my voice. They have to believe me. The only thing I did was cut the thing that Takahiro-san had become into pieces. I did it for them, even if I am now a murderer. They have to realise that. I can't bear that look that Tanjuro is showing me.
"It was Takahiro-san, he had turned into a demon! Look, his clothes are still here!"
I'm delirious now, raising my voice in an effort to force them to believe me. I point to the clothes that remain, proof that someone else had been present.
It was the wrong thing to do. Father looks at the discarded clothes and decides that I must have killed Takahiro-san too. My only saving grace is Tanjuro, my older brother who had always been kind to the hideous me.
"Tanjuro, I didn't do it. You know I didn't do it, I could never hurt anyone!"
I plead with him, tears pouring down my face. If my older brother rejects me now, then I will have nothing left. Nothing except the blood stained hatchet that serves as a reminder of what I did.
He doesn't say a word, he looks away from me and at the remains of Takahiro-san's daughter. He surveys them before turning away entirely and standing between Father and I.
"Father, there is no way she was killed by a hatchet. She has been torn to pieces, a hatchet couldn't do that."
He passes his judgement swiftly, declaring me to be innocent. Taking the position between us has shielded me from Father. As if to protect me, Tanjuro places himself in the way. His frail figure oozes strength as he speaks to Father.
"Of course he killed her! How else could this have happened!"
Father roars back at Tanjuro, as if to yell away any excuses. He cannot believe for a second that I did not do it, considering the evidence. Even if the marks on the body don't add up, he has decided that Tanjuro is wrong.
"He has to go."
He speaks again, quieter this time. The words almost catch in his throat but he forces them out anyway.
"Father-"
"He has got to go. You are marrying Kie in a week, he must leave. Especially after this. We will not turn him in to the authorities but he cannot stay here."
He seems to have calmed down, yet he brushes aside Tanjuro's input and continues with his deliverance. Amongst the fresh snow and the bloodied mess, my father tells me that I am no longer welcome.
"You hear that, Yoichi? Get out of here, now."
He doesn't even look at me, he just gestures for me to leave. To run off into the forest and disappear. Mother won't even leave the house. I am to be cast away and exiled, even though I fought a demon for their lives.
This injustice is awful, but I cannot bring myself to hate them. They do not know the truth, because they do not believe it. Tanjuro believes in my innocence, but Father will not acquit me. In his eyes, I am at fault. He is doing me a favour by refusing to hand me over to the authorities and instead forcing me into the wilderness.
Tanjuro knows that is as lenient as Father will be, he does not argue. He moves towards me and speaks down to me, quiet enough so that Father cannot hear.
"You will always be welcome here."
He leaves me with those words before moving to stand beside Father. Father will still not look me in the eye, looking everywhere but at the corpse and my gaze.
I cannot stay here, even if I wanted to. Whilst Tanjuro would accept me, the trouble it would cause is far too great. The family would become strained, Tanjuro taking my side against our parents would force Kie-san into the situation too. I could not do that to either of them.
I hold my breath as I stand up, it is the hardest thing I have had to do in my life. Bidding goodbye to my family at less than fifteen years of age, although there is nothing I can do at this point.
"Goodbye, Father. Goodbye, Tanjuro"
The goodbye sounds final and that is because it is. I will not return. Even if I want nothing more than to live here with my family. Returning would be selfish. Tanjuro will have more mouths to feed.
A single tear falls from Tanjuro's eye as I turn my back on him, as if he knows that this will be the last time we see each other. I clutch the bloodstained hatchet and leave. There is nothing left for me.
I don't know how long I have been walking for, but I am out of the forest. People on the road have been avoiding me, the scarred boy with the bloodied clothes and bloodstained hatchet. Some have even run away screaming, I don't care.
I keep walking, my feet are bleeding. I don't care. I keep walking, towards something. I don't care.
I'm thirsty, so I stop at a river and drink from it. I wash my face in the water, I keep walking.
I'm hungry, so I steal bread from an open window. I eat half and save the rest, I keep walking.
My hair has grown longer now, I truly look like a monster. I saw it when I drank from a river today. No wonder everyone runs from me.
I still carry the hatchet, in case another demon appears. I will fight them until the sun rises, because they will kill people otherwise. That is what I am, a monster that will fight demons.
I don't know how much time has passed, I think I have been walking for a long time. I'm so tired. Why do I even carry on? I have nothing.
I've had enough. I can't go on any longer. I'm empty. There is no meaning. Why should I keep walking?
I'm sorry Tanjuro. I'm sorry Father. I'm sorry Mother. I'm sorry Takahiro-san. I just can't keep going.
I stop in a meadow, I don't even know where I am. The birds are singing and the sun is high in the sky. People have passed me on the road, whispering to each other. I kneel down on the ground and take a deep breath. This is the end for me. I'm far enough away that my family will never see my corpse. That brings me comfort.
I raise the axe to my throat, the same axe that took the head off of Takahiro-san. I'll take my own life with it and then the debt will be paid. I take another deep breath. Even though I have nothing left, my hand does not want to move. I will have to force it.
I scream, the first noise I have made in weeks. A roar filled with anger that I direct at everything around me. I push the axe into my throat but it stops before it can cut deep enough.
Someone has caught hold of the haft and is pulling on it with all of their might. I thought I might be imagining it, but the sound of their wrists creaking as they pull back is absurdly real. I let go of the axe, if they pull on it for too long they might hurt themselves.
I look upwards at the person who had wrenched the axe away from me, only to be caught by surprise. It is a man with a white robe and a scarred face, like mine. Two children accompany him, a boy with black hair wearing a similar white robe and what appears to be a girl with white hair wearing a black robe. The boy has signs of slight scarring too.
The man with the axe looks down at me and smiles, he brushes my long hair away from my face so that he can see my scar fully.
"You have suffered so much, child."
He speaks so kindly and his smile reminds me of Tanjuro. For the first time in a while, someone has shown me kindness. I do not know how he found me, or why he even bothered to stop me. He speaks as if he knows my story.
"Kamado Yoichi, I know you did not kill that girl."
He speaks kindly again, declaring my innocence loudly for the entire meadow to hear. As if he has something to prove to the world. He begins to cough slightly after raising his voice, but he continues.
"Kamado Yoichi, would you become a Demon Slayer and fight to protect those who cannot protect themselves?"
The question hangs in the air, something that I can barely believe. This man knows my name and he knows about demons. He is showing kindness to a monster like me, a murderer. He is proposing an offer to me, one that sounds incredibly enticing. I can become someone that can protect people? Me?
He clasps both of my hands within his own and kneels down until he is on the same level as I am.
"I believe in you, Yoichi."
When I hear those words, I begin to cry. For someone to believe in a monster like me, that I can help people. It's unthinkable. I sob quietly, and he embraces me. This man is like kindness personified, his warm embrace soothes the pain that I feel. I already know I will take him up on his offer.
The monster named Kamado Yoichi will become a Demon Slayer and save lives.
The start of a new story! This is something that had been bouncing around in my head for a little bit, so I decided to get it down on paper and before I knew it, over 4k words were sat in front of me!
This is something that will run along side my Fate fic, which I will be updating in a few days. I have been swamped with work this week, so I promise to get that out very soon!
Thank you for reading this, I would love to hear your thoughts in the reviews!
-TheGrailsVoice