Rey felt him leave her. One moment he was there, his arms strong and familiar as he pulled her against his chest, his music loud in her ears, and the next he was gone. Ben's limp hand slid from Col's head, and he pitched backward, his face pale and empty. She lurched after him, clutching at his shoulders to try to keep him from falling, and eased him to the stone. Confusion and panic rose in her as she stared down at him with her face inches from his.
"Ben?" she asked, voice pitching up in fear.
He didn't move.
"Ben?"
Rey pressed a hand against his cheek and slid her fingers behind his jaw as she searched for his pulse. His skin was cold under her touch, and she knew even before she failed to find the throb of his heart that he was gone. Hot tears burned in her eyes. They spilled out to cut paths through the dust on her face as she gripped him by the arm and gave him a hard shake.
"Ben!"
Col began to wail where he lay nestled inside her tunic, face pale and tiny fists trembling. She felt an answering sob building in her own throat and released Ben's arm to press the back of her hand to her mouth, clutching Col a little closer to her chest.
"Ben, please get up," she whimpered. "Don't leave."
He didn't answer. He just lay there, his eyes open and staring, cold and still and silent. She bent forward again, pressing her forehead against the cool skin of his as her world crumbled around her. The tears began to stream faster down her cheeks, and she squeezed her eyes shut at the grief rolled over her like a wave. She let it take her without a fight.
Her lips parted over clenched teeth and she gave her anguish a voice at last. The wail that left her carried all the loneliness and fear and anger of her lifetime and it echoed around her in a low keening cry. Her hand found Ben's tunic and she gripped the soft fabric in clenched fingers.
She was alone. Far more alone than she had ever been before. Even when Sidious had cut her off from him and thrown him down into the earth, there had still been a chance, the smallest glimmer of hope, that he was still alive. Now even that had been ripped from her hands, and the simple absence of him had opened a chasm inside her. He had been taken from her; a part of herself that she was not herself without.
"Give him back!" she sobbed, her voice small and broken among the shadows of Sidious' shattered lair. "Please. Give him back to me."
Her plea died in the dust filled air, even its faint echoes lost to her. Silence deeper than any she could remember. She lingered in a place of darkness and death, and yet she could not find the strength to leave it. Something tethered her there in the cavern; an inability to leave Ben lying there alone.
She lay down beside him, her body aching from countless injuries, and her soul worn and tattered. She rested her head against his shoulder and drew Col from inside her tunic to cradle him in her arms. Gradually, the tears slowed from rivers to streams, then stopped altogether. It was as if they had emptied her. As if the stillness of the chamber had crept in through her skin to settle deep inside, turning her into stone while she hadn't noticed.
As if she had died with Ben.
...
She woke suddenly from a half doze, certain that she'd sensed something, and sat bolt upright as an absurd hope gripped her. Perhaps it had all been a dream. Perhaps they hadn't gone to Exegol at all. Perhaps he wasn't really…
Then Col stirred next to her again, and reality came rushing back in to drown her even as the pain of muscles stiff from sleeping on cold stone and her many injuries washed into her awareness once more. They were still on Exegol. Ben's body still lay next to her on the stone. She closed her eyes against the sight, wishing more than anything that when she opened them she would be back in the tiny bedroom on the Finalizer that they shared. But what she saw was not going to change. He was dead. Gone to a place she could not reach and leaving her alone. Leaving Col fatherless.
For the first time, she thought of their son. Their son who was already so like his father. She mourned for the little boy that would never know his father's voice or laughter. Who would never hold Ben's hand or fling his arms around his neck, or learn the thousands of things Ben would have been able to teach him.
She lifted the boy into her arms, cradling him closer to her chest, and gazing down at the body before her. If it hadn't been for the glassy sheen of his opened eyes and the absent rise and fall of his chest, Ben might have been asleep. She could almost imagine that color was beginning to creep over the pale gray of his cheeks to tinge them a faint pink. She could almost believe… She wanted so desperately to believe…
"What am I going to do without you, Ben?" she whispered.
As she spoke, she reached towards him, gently closing his eyes with her fingertips. She rested there for a moment, tears again coursing down her face. Her hand slid to cradle Ben's cheek, her thumb tracing the old scar there. And then she froze.
In the silence his music had left behind, a single note sounded.
"Ben?"
Without warning his whole body jerked as if he were waking from a dream of falling and his lips parted in a great gasp. His eyelids fluttered, and he lifted a hand to grasp her by the wrist, his grip strengthening with every pulse of his heart. She could feel its beat thundering against her fingers where they rested against his neck. His song surged back into her mind, driven by the rhythm of his heart, to fill the space he'd left empty in his passing.
In something almost like disbelief, Rey watched as his eyes opened to focus on her face. They were clear, rid of the eerie glaze they had carried not long ago, and seemed to glow with an unseen light. She sucked in a sharp breath, elation and fear swirling through her in equal measures so that she didn't know whether to pull away from him or press her lips against his. It was a thing so impossible that she couldn't comprehend it.
Ben's mouth twitched, and a broad smile spread across his face as he sat up. It was full of a joy that she could never remember seeing in him, a joy that was as warm and living as he was. It rolled into her, and she found herself smiling, even as she felt tears welling up in her eyes. A sob broke from her, and she threw her arm around his neck, afraid that if she let go, he would leave again.
"Ben," she rasped as she pressed her lips to his.
He returned the kiss, pulling her close so they lingered there for long seconds. When they drew apart at last, Rey found herself gazing up at him, taking in his features as he did the same to her. They were quiet for a few heartbeats, and then Ben began to laugh. Rey couldn't stop the answering laughter that bubbled up in her, even as the tears flowed freely down her cheeks. She saw the glitter of them in Ben's eyes too, and he leaned in to kiss her again.
"I'm home, Rey," he whispered.
His gaze drifted down to where she still clutched Col against her chest, and he reached out to rub his fingers through the boy's mop of black hair. Col stirred and began to fuss, but he settled a moment later and lay still, staring up at Ben with wide blue eyes. She saw Ben's relief in the lessening of the tension in his shoulders and heard it in his long exhalation.
Col was safe. Untouched by the darkness of Sidious. She could see his thoughts written on his face in a way they had never been before. It was almost as if a mask had been peeled away and she was seeing, for the first time, Ben Solo as he truly was. As he had always been.
"What happened to you, Ben?" she asked, brushing a few strands of hair back from his forehead.
His eyes flicked up to meet hers, and then back down to Col. He seemed to struggle to find the right words, and his mouth opened and shut a few times, though no sound came out. Images flashed through his mind; white light against darkness, billions of stars that weren't exactly like stars, faces that she recognized, all there and gone in the space of a heartbeat.
"I can't describe it," he said at last. "It was… it was beyond anything I've ever imagined."
Rey was about to ask another question when she stopped, certain that she'd heard something. Ben paused too, and they turned as one toward where the small entrance to the throne room had once been, the crack in the wall now obscured by an enormous pile of rubble. Rey drew Col a little tighter against her and glanced to Ben who seemed to be holding his breath as he listened.
"Rey?" the voice rang through the shadows, now clear and deep and familiar. "Kylo?"
"Cy?" Ben shouted.
There was a pause, and the sound of stone clattering on stone, and then a flare arched over their heads, red and blazing with a brilliance that made Rey squint. Col startled at the sudden noise and light and let out a wail that managed to drown out all other noise. Rey pressed him against her chest until his cries were muffled in the fabric of her tunic while Ben called out once more for his friend.
More rocks slid down, and Rey saw Cy's dark braids emerge over the top of the mound of fallen stone. His face lit when he saw them, huddled there among the ruins of Sidious' lair, and he scrambled down to them, skidding and slipping on the scree. Several more dark figures followed behind, clambering after him to reach the level floor of the cavern.
As they drew near, Rey recognized Ben's knights, all cloaked and hooded in black. Corann was among them, and Taryn with Decha at his back. The four of them hurried forward, weapons drawn in their hands, to cluster around Rey and Ben. Rey saw relief on their dirt-streaked faces, though she sensed sadness in them too.
"Thank the Force you're both alright," Cy said, rubbing a hand through his braids. "We didn't know…"
"We're just glad to see you alive," interrupted Decha.
"Though you both look like you tried to give death your best shot," Corann said dryly as he knelt down to examine their wounds. The comment was accompanied by a small smile that didn't quite reach his eyes and Rey sensed again the deep ache of sadness that radiated out from him.
She glanced about, counting the knights again, and noticed Mela's absence with a stab of pain. But there was another missing as well.
"Where's Jai?" she asked quietly.
There was a sharp intake of breath from Decha, and Corann and Taryn flinched. Only Cy remained steady.
"He went down with the Harbinger," the big man said. "They were shot down in the first few minutes. Tried to bring the thrusters back online after the hit, but they weren't fast enough."
Ben made a low noise in his throat, and Rey felt the strong wave of grief and anger that rolled through him to leave behind a deep sadness. Images of Jai flickered through her mind; Ben's memories of his friend as Jai grew from a boy to the man Rey had come to know. It was like the ache she'd felt while Ben had been lying dead at her side, and the memory of his lifeless body was a cold knife in her chest. But then Ben's fingers twined with hers and the warmth of his hand drew her back into reality.
From somewhere far away, a sharp crack rang out in the silence, followed by a rattling of stone on stone as something fell from a great distance above. All heads snapped toward the sound and Col began to wail again, his little voice rising high and clear in the cold air. Cy glanced toward the child and Rey saw something like horror scrawl itself across his face as he realized what the child's presence in this dark place meant for Mela. She saw him swallow hard as he forced his expression smooth.
"We should go," Cy said, his voice tight. "This place is going to come down around our heads."
Corann nodded in agreement and slipped an arm beneath Ben's, hauling him to his feet. Ben winced and let out a low sound of pain as he put weight on his leg and tried to find his balance. Decha noticed and drew close to Ben's other side to support him. Together, the two knights took a step forward, bracing Ben between them. Ben's steps were halting and he limped badly, his bad leg dragging behind him.
Rey felt a strong arm slide under her own as she watched, and then Taryn was helping her upright as she cradled Col to her. The movement sent pain rippling through her muscles and she gasped and nearly cried aloud, biting her lip against it only just in time. She hobbled forward as the knight led her on, murmuring encouraging words every time Rey stumbled. It was all she could do to put one foot in front of another. To keep going. But Ben was with her, alive, and it was with hope in her heart that she struggled forward out of the darkness of Exegol.
...
The bridge went utterly silent as the knights helped Ben and Rey through the doorway, and all eyes turned towards them, wide and almost frightened. There were a tense few moments in which Rey could hear her heart beating loudly in her ears, and then Admiral Mitaka stepped from the crowd. He quickly snapped into a salute, relief smoothing lines of worry that had wrinkled his brow.
"Supreme Leader," he said. "My Lady. Good to have you both back."
"Good to be back," Ben replied wearily. "What's your report?"
"Seven cruisers lost, sir. Almost three dozen destroyers downed or too damaged to be worth salvaging. I don't even have an estimate as to how many TIEs and their pilots went down, but if I had to hazard a guess, I'd say over half."
"What happened?" asked Ben.
"We were taking a beating," Mitaka said, "Especially after that first round of lightning. That's what destroyed most of the TIEs. But we got lucky with the second bolt. The enemy fleet was unfortunate enough to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, and about half of their ships lost power and crashed. We had a chance after that, even though several of our destroyers were caught in it and went down too."
"And you're sure none of the ships escaped?"
"I've sent out the remaining destroyers to search the atmosphere, and I've kept the hyperspace tracker activated since before the battle began. If anyone tries to leave, we'll know where and when, and we can send ships to hunt them down."
"Thank you," Ben began.
"I'm also sending a thousand troopers to sweep the complex in which you were found," Mitaka continued. "If any remnant of an army remains, we'll snuff it out. We're also surveying the planet for other outposts like this one. We haven't found anything yet, but I won't be satisfied until we perform subsurface scans."
Ben raised an eyebrow, and Rey sensed how impressed he was by the young admiral's initiative. Mitaka noticed the look and fell silent, his cheeks and ears turning a painful scarlet. It took Rey a moment to realize how the man had misinterpreted Ben's expression, but when she did, she nearly smiled.
"I hope I didn't overstep the limits of my command, sir," Mitaka whispered, his eyes going to his boots.
"Admiral," Ben said, his eyes taking on a tired sort of amusement, "if all of those under my command overstepped their limits as you have, I would sleep more soundly at night. Well done."
Mitaka's eyes flicked up and his expression cleared, the tight line of his shoulders easing by a fraction. A small smile turned up the corners of his mouth, and he gave them a deep nod.
"Then if I might risk overstepping my position once again, sir," he said. "We have things well in hand here. Get some rest. You both look half dead."
"You have no idea, Admiral," Ben said with a wry smile.
They turned away as the holoprojector pinged with an incoming message, and Mitaka hurried over to it, flanked by several of his commanders. Rey heard him beginning to deliver orders as the door slid shut behind them and found herself marveling at how much he had changed in so brief a time. Ben had chosen well when he'd promoted him from lieutenant.
Taryn helped her along behind Ben and his supporting knights as they made their slow way through the corridors. They were familiar to Rey, as was the door at which they stopped, though eons seemed to have passed since she'd last seen it. And then the door opened, and she almost started to cry.
Nothing had changed. And everything had changed. The apartments before her looked exactly the same as she'd left them the morning she'd gone to Mustafar. There was the tiny kitchen, and the door that opened onto the refresher, and the bedroom where she and Ben slept. But she wasn't the same, and she never would be again.
For the first time in her life, she was free. And she didn't have the faintest idea what that meant. Didn't have the faintest idea who she was without her fear. She stood before the door, Taryn's arm supporting her, paralyzed by the realization. Ben seemed to sense her doubt and reached to take her hand in his. She anchored herself in the strength of it and let his peace wash over her. They had each other. They had Col. They had friends who stood beside them and around them, protecting and holding them up.
She was a survivor. A warrior. A wife. A mother and a friend. All those things she had been while Sidious' threats had bound her in fear. All those things remained. The light side, too, remained. It waited as she quieted herself; silencing the humming of her thoughts until she could hear the song that wove around her and through her. Her life had been altered forever, but the things that meant the most to her had not changed. And even if they had, even if everything had been taken from her, the light side would always be the same. The one constant in a galaxy where nothing was permanent. She found herself grateful for that one small fact.
Ben sank onto the couch with an audible sigh while Taryn helped Rey sit down beside him, Col still clutched in her arms. The child stirred, thrust two fingers into his mouth, and settled deeper into sleep, as quiet and content as if nothing of any consequence had happened to him. A part of Rey wished she could share his innocence. Wished she could forget.
"I'm leaving, Kylo," Cy said, his quiet voice startling Rey out of her thoughts. "I have to try to find Mela."
Ben sighed, and Rey felt him shift at her side, leaning forward over his knees and rubbing his hands over his face. And he looked old. So very much older than his twenty-six years. The sadness in his eyes was that of someone ancient, who had lived far longer and seen far more tragedy than he had thought possible.
"She's already gone, Cy," he murmured. "Send one of the others. What will searching for her do but break you?"
Cy nodded, and his face twisted in grief. "I know," he said. "But I have to… She made me swear that I would bring her back if anything ever happened. It has to be me."
Ben's face twisted even as Rey's grief rose and closed her throat. He gripped the arm of the couch and tried to drag himself to his feet, but Cy's hand caught and held him before he could rise.
"I'm going with you," Ben said, shrugging him off.
"No, Ben," the man said, and neither of them seemed surprised that he had used Ben's true name. "You're all but spent. In truth, you should be in a bacta tank right now."
"Not until I see them," Ben replied, his voice strained and thick with tears. "Not until you bring her and Jai home."
Rey's eyes began to burn with tears at the thought of her friend. The woman who had become a sister to her. Sidious' words echoed in her mind, and she felt again the gut twisting dread she had when he had truly spoken them. But somehow Mela's fate didn't seem real. Not yet.
"I want to go with you," Rey whispered.
"No," Cy said, glancing to where Col lay cradled against Rey's chest and shaking his head. "After Mela was killed, there wouldn't have been anyone to protect the younglings on her ship, and I doubt Sidious would have given orders to take prisoners. I don't think you want to see that kind of massacre."
Rey looked down at Col, watching the way his tiny chest rose and fell with his breathing. She thought of all the little faces she'd seen. All the little lives. The smiles and the giggles and the chattering of the voices she'd come to recognize even in the few short weeks she'd stayed on Mela's ship. And then she thought of them all afraid. All trying to hide. All hunted down by creatures who were more concerned with serving their precious Emperor than they were with the lives they were being asked to extinguish.
"No," she murmured, nausea roiling her stomach. "No, I wouldn't."
"Take Corann with you and go," Ben said. "If any survived, he'll be of most use. I want you to check the other ships too. Make sure the younglings there are safe."
The two men nodded, Corann's face pale beneath his freckles, and Cy's expression like stone. Then they turned away and slipped through the doorway without another word, leaving Taryn and Decha standing alone in the middle of the floor. The knights glanced at each other, then at Ben.
"Report to Mitaka," said Ben in a heavy voice. "I'm sure he can find a task for you."
The two stood frozen for a moment, before Taryn dipped his head in deference and left the room without another word. But Decha remained, worry in his expression as he glanced to Ben, then to Rey. At a small nod from Ben, his expression smoothed by a fraction and he slipped through the doorway as silently as a shadow, leaving Rey and Ben alone once more.
They didn't speak. There were no words that could communicate what the bond could not. Rey could sense Ben's exhaustion. The bone deep weariness and the grief that gnawed at him, even as he fought to remain strong against it. An answering ache rose in her chest and she wrapped her arm around his shoulder, mourning for him and with him. Their souls twining together as one.
He leaned into her, his head against her chest, and his shoulders began to jerk with his low sobs. He clung to her, and she felt the waves of emotion that rolled through him as echoes of those that crashed against her own shore. The unbearable ache of loss and the pain of the memories that would linger on for years. Immense relief that those he loved more than life itself were as close as the circle of his arms. Guilt that he could not have prevented the deaths of others. Tears dripped onto the blanket that wrapped Col, darkening small spots on the fabric.
"It's not your fault, Ben," Rey whispered. "Stop torturing yourself."
A long sigh shuddered out of Ben and he ran his hands over his face, rubbing away the tears. His eyes carried a distant look as he finally glanced up at her, his thoughts shifting and churning so that she had no clear sense of their path. But she knew him well enough to know that he was wrestling with a decision, though she wasn't sure what it was.
"You should sleep," he said, kissing her on the forehead. "You need it more than I do."
"Ben…"
He gave her the barest hint of a smile, one corner of his mouth edging upward in an expression that was tinged with sadness. He reached out and took Col gently from her, settling him in the crook of his arm. The child's brow knit for a moment, and he let out a sleepy sound of protest before his face smoothed and he quieted once again, fast asleep in Ben's arms.
"Please, Rey," he said, taking her hand and squeezing as she began to shake her head. "At least one of us should get some rest, and I need to think. It's alright."
Rey sighed and gave him a grudging tilt of her head before she drew her legs up beneath her and curled up next to him, resting her head against his shoulder. She lay there for a while, feeling the slow rise and fall of his breathing and letting herself be lulled by the faint sound of his beating heart. With a long sigh, she closed her eyes, relaxing into his warmth. And for a long time, she knew no more.
...
"Rey."
Someone shook her gently, pulling her out of a sleep so deep that it took her several moments to remember where she was. She woke fully to find Ben staring back at her. There was something somber in his expression, and she struggled to recall the reason for the tears glittering in the dark depths of his eyes.
"Cy's back," he murmured. "He found them."
With his words, it all came rushing back. A deep dread settled over her as she recognized the anguish on Ben's face, and her heart sank. She looked toward the doorway to find that Decha and Taryn had returned. Decha's face was blotchy and his eyes were red, and something in Taryn's blank expression seemed almost dead.
"Were there any…" she began, going silent as Ben shook his head.
"The younglings on the other two ships are safe," he rasped, his eyes shining with unshed tears, "But the ones on Mela's ship didn't- they're all… it's bad, Rey. As bad as we were afraid of."
A nauseating horror twisted Rey's stomach, and she felt her heart beat faster. And yet, the reality of what he said could not touch her. There was no picture in her mind for what had happened: an inability to grasp the full scale of Sidious' depravity.
"I need to see them," she said, getting painfully to her feet.
"Rey," Ben started, "do you really want to? It's going to be something out of a nightmare."
"Mela was my sister in all but blood," said Rey. "And I've had nightmares before."
She didn't wait for him to respond as she took Col from his arms and strode into the corridor. The heavy sound of Ben rising from the sofa with the help of his knights followed her, and there was the hiss of pneumatics as the door slid shut behind them. They went on without saying a word, passing troopers in their white armor and officers with faces lined with exhaustion.
They had nearly reached the hangar when a small woman in a mechanic's uniform came stumbling through the bay doors, her head down and her hands covering her face. She crashed into Rey just as a strangled sob broke from her throat, and Rey had to reach out and grab the woman by her shoulders so that she didn't fall.
"Lita?" she asked as the woman straightened and Rey could see her swollen red eyes.
"Why did you have them brought here?" Lita asked, her eyes brimming over with tears as she stared first at Rey, then at Ben. "It's too late to help them all now."
She broke away from Rey and staggered further down the corridor to disappear around a corner, the sound of her footsteps fading away into the distance. Rey glanced at Ben and saw the way his face went a little grimmer. She met his eyes, took a deep breath, and stepped out into the hangar.
The first thing she noticed was the silence. Her ears practically rang with it. And then she noticed how still it was. No one was climbing over the ships to patch the damaged hulls or carrying tools from one workstation to another. Instead, her eyes were drawn to a crowd of people gathered around a lone transport that sat in the middle of the open floor, its bay door lowered.
She caught a glimpse of a shock of bright red hair above the heads of the crowd and it parted as she watched to reveal Corann. The knight walked down the ramp without a word; something small and limp cradled against his chest. It was a little Twi'lek girl, her skin unnaturally pale beneath its deep blue tint. One thin arm slipped over Corann's to dangle lifelessly in the air, swinging back and forth with the rhythm of his step, her head lolling like a broken doll's.
"Nanni."
Ben's low cry stopped Rey cold. Her eyes flicked to him, then back to the girl in Corann's arms. To the face that had always been so alive with excitement and which was now slack and empty. To the dead eyes staring up at nothing. Rey's heart squeezed in her chest and her breath came shallow and fast as Ben's fury and grief rolled through her again.
She barely had time to collect her emotions before a trooper emerged from the transport with another child. Dark hair spilled across white armor; black tendrils swaying gently in the shifting air currents. Another little girl. Another dead body. Rey watched as the two men carried their burdens to a small alcove where a fighter had once been hangered. They knelt, easing the children to the floor so that they lay face up, their wide eyes vacant and their little hands lying pale and still at their sides.
Rey watched, unable to look away, as Corann drew a sheet over the first, and then the second girl, obscuring them from view. And then she realized that there were more white sheets. Rows and rows of them that shrouded dozens of small figures. Her stomach gave a sudden heave and Rey turned away, eyes squeezed shut, fighting down the bile that burned in the back of her throat.
Rey.
Ben's voice broke into her darkness, low and gentle, and full of his own heartache. She curled into him, burying her face in his chest and drawing a measure of comfort from the warmth of his breath against her skin. From the soft sleeping noises that Col made as he lay in her arms.
Rey opened her eyes as Ben drew her closer, staring over his shoulder to the transport. She could see boots at the top of the ramp and watched without making a sound as Cy emerged into the open. Tears glittered in his reddened eyes and shone on his dark cheeks. His arms cradled a body far larger than those that lay stretched on the ground behind Rey, and he moved as a man asleep.
The wound that had felled Mela was something out of a nightmare: a great gash that had laid her open from shoulder to hip. Her silver blond braid was stained and matted with blood, now dried and the color of rust, and even from a distance, Rey could smell the scent of death that hung about her. Something both earthy and metallic. A smell that belonged on a battlefield, not clinging to a friend.
Rey froze, unable to breathe, and her fingers went tight around Ben's tunic. It took him less than a second to realize what she had seen and react. He released his hold on Decha's arm as Cy stumbled from the ramp and the knight ran forward to help his friend. Rey stood paralyzed while Decha gripped Cy by the shoulder and dragged him upright before he could fall. Together, they carried Mela's body to the place where the children lay and lowered it to the ground beside the shrouded forms.
One stiff step followed another, and Rey crept after the two men, whispering soothing words to Col in a voice that rasped over her dry throat. She didn't realize that she was crying until she felt the tears running down her face. But her grief was quiet as she sank to the floor beside Mela's body and took her hand. There was no outcry, just the familiar emptiness inside her as she sat there, holding the hand of another dead friend. Another loss.
"I'm so sorry, Mela," she whispered.
She remembered Mela's brilliant smile and the way her laughter could ring through a room. She remembered the loyalty the knight had shown; the way she'd taken Rey in as a sister. She remembered the warm embrace of their first meeting and the wisdom Mela had always managed to hide until someone needed it. There had been an ocean of thoughts behind her blue eyes and Rey had seen only a fraction of them in the brief time she'd had with her friend. But now Mela was gone and Rey couldn't help but feel as if she had been robbed. Another injustice at the hands of Sidious.
"I wish I could have been the one to kill him," Cy hissed suddenly. "I would have made him pay a thousand times over for what he did to her. I would have- I…"
"I know you loved her, Cy," Ben said, limping forward with Taryn's help and laying a hand on Cy's shoulder as the man trailed into a helpless silence. "I'm sorry."
Cy swiped at his eyes and turned away as Corann gently covered the body with a sheet. It settled over Mela's face to blunt the harsh lines of death and hide the gaping wound in her torso. Rey knelt there for another long minute before she felt the pressure of Ben's hand on her back. She rose slowly, weary to her core, to find his arms once again. He wrapped them around her, enfolding her in his strength.
He murmured something to Taryn and turned away from the rows of bodies, drawing her away with him. She moved in a haze, trying not to glance over her shoulder as they moved towards the dark void beyond the mag-con field. But she couldn't forget the images of the shrouded forms lying silent and still on the hangar floor. She couldn't forget any of what had happened.
She didn't want to forget.
They stopped before the shimmering surface of the mag-con field, and Ben lowered himself onto a crate as Taryn moved away. Rey sat beside him and stared out at the stars that flickered in tiny pinpoints of light millions of miles away from her. Col began to whimper again, and she lifted him to her shoulder, running a hand absently over his back in small circular motions. The infant quieted and began to suck on his fingers. Rey turned into him, burying her nose in his hair and breathing in the sweet smell of him as she tried to ignore the conflicting relief and guilt that swirled within her.
"I promised I'd take you away from here," Ben said, without warning, startling her out of her thoughts.
She looked up at him, to find him staring pensively at the same stars she'd been gazing at moments before. But she sensed his thoughts in the back of her mind, and she saw his memory as another image before her eyes. A kind of double vision that layered itself upon her world. She saw thousands of luminous gates that glowed like silver stars, paths of light branching between them. Doors to untold billions of moments in time. To places like this. To decisions.
"I'm going to abdicate," said Ben, "and I'm going to dissolve the First Order."
"What?" Rey gasped, her mouth falling open a little.
"I don't want this to be my legacy," Ben said, turning and gesturing with a sweeping hand to the alcove that concealed the dozens of dead. "What did the First Order do for them? It took them from their families and put them in harm's way. I put them in harm's way. What kind of a leader does that make me?"
"A leader who tried to do what he thought was right," Rey said quietly, reaching to take his hand. "The circumstances were beyond your control. You did what you could."
"I didn't do enough," Ben insisted. "And if it's taught me anything, it's that this galaxy is too big for one man to rule alone."
"What are you planning to do?" Rey asked.
"Dissolve the First Order," said Ben again, running his fingers through his hair. "And reform it into a republic."
"There have been two republics before now, and neither succeeded," Rey said with a long sigh. "How do you know it will be any different this time?"
"I don't know," Ben said, and he shrugged with an air of helplessness. "But I do know that Sidious is dead, and that there are people who are willing to fight for what they believe in. I think that if the right people were found it would have a chance."
"Ben…"
"Anything is better than this," he cried out suddenly, and Col flinched against her neck. "Anything is better than fear. And I don't want to be afraid anymore. Not for you, or me, or Col. We've set the galaxy on a path that might end in something good. Let others worry about its fate."
Rey remained silent for a long moment, feeling the ebb and flow of his emotions, and trying to read his thoughts. She sensed that his decision had not been made lightly, nor was it a plan that he would rush into blindly.
"You don't mean to do this now, do you?" she asked.
"No," Ben said, shaking his head. "It won't happen overnight. I'll remain Supreme Leader until things stabilize and we can get a government in place."
"Then what?"
Ben took a deep breath and turned his head to look at her. She saw uncertainty in his expression and something almost like fear. He gave her fingers a squeeze and she returned the gesture, edging herself a little closer to him. Ben's breath rushed out again in a long exhale and his eyes went back to the mag con field, focusing on the emptiness of space beyond it.
"I don't know," he said. "I'm just trying to trust that the Force will be with us."
Rey leaned her head against his shoulder, drawing Col a little tighter to her, and let her gaze follow Ben's out into the star strewn darkness. There were millions of them, and billions of planets orbiting them. Perhaps they could find a new beginning somewhere among that great host of worlds. Perhaps they could start again.
"It will be," she whispered. "It has always been."
So much that was precious had been destroyed. Pain had come and left its scars upon them. Yet through it all, the light had endured. And so they had endured. Now it was time to build again; to begin something new and full of promise. Rey closed her eyes, and let her soul twine with Ben's, both of them drifting among the music of the Force. Beyond the dozens of intertangling melodies of the knights and troopers, she could hear it. Notes that were faint and far away, but no less beautiful for their distance: the music of the light side.
The song in the stars.
THE END