A/N: Some characters might be a bit OOC, this is my first fic and I wanna play around for now. Another A/N later at the bottom for what I plan on doing with the fic and where story might go. I'll try my best to stick to the story and be faithful but I might slip-up here and there. Have a good read! Spoilers for Arcs 3 and above

Wrath. The boy's soul was filled with wrath after his last loop. He was the embodiment of it. His mind was full of turmoil, on one hand, he wants to kill Petelguese, the other is regret. Regret that he feels is because of his own incompetence, and powerlessness to save those he loves. After desperate and shameless begging to the candidates present in the capital, he was only faced with manipulation, refusal, and even disgust at his lack of pride and his bloodlust.

"The key to negotiation is how prepared you are before ya come to the table. Know what the other person wants and dangle it in front of 'em. And since all you do is want, that's where you're lacking."

"Aldebaran! Throw that detestable fool out of here, or kill him if you want, it matters not."

"You adamantly believe that your rant is true, that is nothing short of madness"

'GODDAMMIT ALL! All I've ever done is help you all, why can't you help ME for once! I just want to not cry anymore and feel powerless, why can't you understand that? Why do you all throw me away like I'm just a maniac? You all keep treating me like I'm just a dog, a filthy one at that. And Emilia too! I just wanted to help you and stop those damn palace-dwellers on insulting you just because you look like someone from 400 years ago, I helped you didn't I? Why did you throw me away just like that when all I've ever done is to-'

His thoughts were interrupted when a knock on his door was heard.

"Come in, Rem" the raven-haired boy told the maid knocking on his door.

"Subaru-kun, what's the matter? I kept hearing loud thumping noises in your room, it was like you're punching the wall. If you want to relieve your frustrations I'm here for you." Rem said with a faint blush on her cheeks, though there was no embarrassment or shame present at all on her form. The boy's face glowed a color reminiscent of the sword saint's hair.

She was a bit happy that her hero reacted like that with her forwardness, but was also saddened by what she saw was reflected in his eyes. His sheer and utter anger never leaving his eyes, decorating his already nasty eyes with a murderous glint.

After a small amount of time, his face regained their natural complexity and was able to function again as a "normal" human being. "Rem, don't tease me like that! My fragile adolescent heart might break because of your boldness!" As usual, he hid his anger behind jokes and misdirection, or at least tried to.

"Rem, it's already quite late so can you return to your room and let's think of something tomorrow?" Rem caught a hint of sadness in his eyes instead of the anger that was emanating earlier.

"If you say so Subaru-kun, have a good night sleep so Rem can wake up early and observe your sleeping face until you wake up" Rem said with a smile present on her face.

"Huh? Did you just say something creepy?" Rem just kept smiling and walked out of the room without saying anything.

It lingered in his mind for a bit but ultimately, there were more pressing matters at hand right now so it gradually slipped from his mind. He tried to conjure a plan from the back of his mind but his head was a mess so he decided to just sleep and give himself some peace of mind for the time being.

"You truly are slothful"

Subaru outright jumped from his bed, just to try to get away from that memory. He desperately clawed at his head to try and use the pain to forget his sins, his powerlessness, and his slothfulness. He tried to remember all the happy memories before the trip to the capital, though everytime he remembered Rem and Emilia their faces was replaced of those that were bloody and dead, dead because of his uselessness, his lousy attitude, and his stupid pride.

He couldn't face Rem, he couldn't bear to talk to her after what he has done to her. It might be a world long gone, but his regret was still fresh in his mind. The pain he felt was etched down to his very soul. He did his absolute best to sneak out to clear his mind. He thought to leave his tracksuit behind as a decoy to try to fool Rem.

Surprisingly, he succeeded in getting out of the inn they were staying in. He noticed a black ground dragon in the distance without a person driving it. 'Weird' he thought to himself and proceeded to walk towards the Mather's domain without riding their carriage. He figured it would be too noisy and would wake Rem. Subaru's regret pushed him to leave Rem behind and just think about how to handle it by himself. Subaru couldn't bear to see Rem, and the others dead again and him causing it, or him being able to do nothing to help them.

Wooden wheels rolling and a ground dragon's faint growls could be heard next to Subaru. He was surprised that the black ground dragon from earlier was now pulling the carriage beside him, and from time to time nudging his shoulders, almost as if it was urging Subaru to ride him.. or her?

Subaru reluctantly climbed behind the reins of the ground dragon. 'Well, I guess I'll just tell the owner he followed me or something'. After a while, he grew fond of the ground dragon. "You know what? I'll just name you Patrasche, how about it?" Patrasche growled in happiness, which crept a smile upon the boy's face, though it quickly faded and was replaced with misery.

It was about an hour of riding when he spotted a big-ass tree in the distance. "No matter how many times I look at it, I still can't believe how big that tree is. Like damn bro" Speaking to noone in particular.

'Tell me about it'

"Patrasche? Was that you? I didn't know you could talk!" Subaru's outburst was answered by Patrasche with a huff of annoyance. Which surprised Subaru. His naive mind genuinely thought the voice that he heard was Patrasche's. But he was put off by how similar it sounded to his voice.

'You idiot, I'm inside your head'

"DOROWAZU!" Subaru shouted as the shock made him jump and land in an awkward position inside the carriage.

"Who are you? Why are you inside my head? What are you planning?" Subaru asked the voice inside his head, expecting an answer. Like an idiot.

'Not so loud you idiot, well you are me, so I guess we're both idiots'

"Hey! Stop calling me an idiot, you're the idiot! How dare you get inside my head without asking me!" The voice inside his head emitted a noise that Subaru thought resembled Ram's smugness.

'Ha, you're an idiot, Me.' Subaru remembered Ram again with the "Ha's". To which he remembered the loop where Ram was in the mansion besides a no-eyed Petra. His face was quickly painted with despair.

"What do you even mean I'm you? You definitely sound like me but I know the voice inside my head and it isn't you!" He shouted, matter-of-factly.

'I can't believe future me is this stupid'

"Stop with calling me an idiot already! You said I'm you so you're calling yourself an idiot too. Just explain to me how you're inside my head and why you sound so much like me. You keep saying you're me but I don't know what you mean" The boy exasperated finally gave in and just wanted his question answered.

'Well, I've been trying to reach you since you entered this world, but I couldn't find you. You kept dying and resetting and I couldn't track you down properly.'

"Wait, you know that I can return by death?" Subaru thought that his words would get interrupted by a black hand grasping his heart but he was surprised. Nothing happened at all.

"Wait what? So you're really me? That cursed witch doesn't allow me to speak of this stupid power to other people. I don't get it though, about how you're apparently the same person as me"

'blah, blah, blah let's speak of the details later. It will be explained soon, just touch the big-ass tree over there and you'll understand.'

"Touch it? What would that even do?" He was confused of the request by the voice, he decided to do it anyway because he thought it was harmless. Nothing bad would happen... right?

'Dammit just touch it, I can't explain it to you right now, tell Patrasche to go faster, the White Whale's close.'

"White whale? The heck is that? Is that a mabeast? Also, we're surrounded by land, there's no way a whale can get us here!" Subaru joked with the voice. The voice though let out a noise reminiscent of a noise that someone expresses when they're disappointed.

'Damn, you don't know what the White Whale is? Nobody told you about the flying white fish of doom?'

'Creepy' Subaru thought, a whale flying was too farfetched for him. But magic was also unrealistic so the picture of him being swallowed by a flying whale made him shudder and left a bad taste in his mouth.

"How do you even know? You're inside my head right? Did you send it towards here?" He asked the voice inside his head, he thought he heard a loud howl from the skies but he figured it was just the wind whizzing past his ear or something.

'Well if you actually listen properly you'd hear a loud howl above us, I'm surprised at how you didn't even think that noise wasn't natural even in this world.'

"Huh now that I think about it you're ri-" he was interrupted by another loud howl, much closer this time.

This much louder howl made Subaru shudder, he was now panicking. His skin was now full of goosebumps now that he has heard the howl much clearer. He felt a faint craving to claw his eyes out and scream.

'Good thing you aren't affected, must be the witch's doing. That scream makes most people claw their eyes out and scream in delirium.'

"Damn, I definitely don't want to see that thing, how close is it?" The voice's statement about the witch slipped from his mind. He then saw fog closing in around him. Soon, Flugel's tree was blocked by the fog and was nowhere to be seen. Subaru couldn't even see 3 meters ahead of him.

'Fuck, are we too late? No, no we're not. Tell Patrasche to go at full speed unless you want to be blown off with the "fog of elimination".'

"Well that name sounds ominous. PATRASCHE GO FASTER!" Subaru shouted at Patrasche, luckily they got out of the fog and quickly made their way towards the tree.

"Ok, I just touch it and it will be fine right? Nothing would possess my body right?" Subaru asked to no one in particular, he was just weary of what might happen but he trusted the voice nonetheless.

As his hand was going towards a root of the tree, the voice suddenly spoke. 'If I wasn't you, I would say you're too trustful in others, but since you're the me I'm glad you trust me, something will enter you though so be careful'

"Wait what did you ju-" He noticed the voice's words too late and his hand was already on the root. Immediately, pain surged his entire being. Though this pain wasn't the physical pain normally felt. It was emotional pain. He felt anger, sadness, anxiety, pride, love and other emotions all at the same time. The memories rushing in his head wasn't exactly his, but he felt like it was him in the memories. He felt like he was actually the one experiencing them, like he was remembering a memory long forgotten.

"Master Flugel! Why are you giving me this? Isn't this important to you?" A green haired lad clad in purple robes said to the man before him

"I don't have much time left, Geuse. Hold on to this for me alright? When the time comes, I hope it's of use to you." Subaru felt utter disgust just staring at the man before him. He resembled the man he hated the very existence of. He was even named close to that same existence. What was eating away most at his sanity was that there was a chance the one who holds these memories, which might actually be him, is the cause of this poor man to become the monster he is today.

"Master! Shaula will follow your commands to the best of her ability! This first class lady only wants master to make love to me when you come back." The busty girl with skimpy clothing said without even a hint of shame.

"Stop joking Shaula! My poor adolescent heart might break because of your boldness!" Subaru didn't even blush, he was surprised. Surprised by the similarity this memory had with his earlier interaction with Rem. He also felt an intense rush of guilt when the memory entered his mind. It hurt him, so much. The guilt he felt was so intense he wanted to return by death to try to fix the memory. But him dying will be for naught, as the memory was back from 400 years ago. No matter what he tried, he would just return back to a time where the memory would still be the same. He cannot change what had happened, no matter how much the guilt ate away at his insides.

"Flugel!" a white haired loli shouted with incredible cheer.

"Daphne! Why are you so excited to meet me? We didn't meet just for a few days. You look like you haven't met me for a few months at the least" Subaru felt an intense wave of nostalgia, as if wishing to be able to return back to those times when this whole witch of envy mess didn't happen.

"Future me, go to Ellior forest, I want you to touch the tree dubbed the tree of prayers. Only then, will all your questions be answered. I only imparted half my soul containing my powers and my authorities in the Flugel Tree that Shaula and I planted. Few memories could be put inside the soul as the space was almost full because of my powers being left inside the soul. Sorry for the inconvenience!"

Subaru was shocked to say the least. He felt incredible power surging throughout his body. He also felt a few things entering him, it felt like something was crawling around in his Od, it felt disgusting to him. After the memories and the power stopped entering his body he snapped out of his trance. His hand was still on the tree. He hasn't moved a bit since the start of the surge of memories. Apparently, only a few seconds have passed since he touched the root of the tree,

"So, you're Flugel right? How did you know I'd be here? That memory felt like it was from long, long ago." His curiosity got the best of him. The peculiarly dressed boy was full of questions, but he wanted to ask that question first and foremost.

'Let's just say my incredible wisdom is the reason, yep, that's it!' Flugel tried to lie nonchalantly, though the facade was seen through by Subaru. (ironic)

"We both know you're lying, but I guess it's too complicated to explain right now huh? Well, what do I do now? There's a big floating fish following me because of the witch's scent right? I don't exactly want to experience all that again so how do I survive?" This surprised Flugel. Normally, Subaru would have voiced his thoughts in a loud and annoying manner. The memories must have affected him a bit too much.

'Subaru? Is that you? Why aren't you shouting? Oh no, what have I done!' If Flugel had a body, Subaru would have thought that Flugel was doing overdramatic poses, just like Subaru had done in the past.

"I'll give you a talking to later, but right now, I don't want to die, so if you could, please tell me something I can do now with these authorities and powers you told me about in the memories."

'Well, the authority of sloth is now on you. Which is a bit of trouble since there's two authorities of sloth at the same time. Your authority of sloth should still work though. It's pretty powerful if you ask me. You have other powers but right now, that's what you need to know about the most'

"So how do I use it? Do I just think, 'I wanna punch that big whale in the nose' and the whale would die?" as he finished the thought, a sudden howl was again heard throughout the skies. Though this one, was filled of pain, instead of the prideful howl earlier emitted.

'Yeah that's pretty much how you use it. Didn't you see the hands protruding from your back as you thought that?'

"Huh?" was all Subaru could say before the White Whale fell from the sky and crash landed towards the ground in front of the tree.

He also saw the black hands Flugel talked about wrapping around the whale's head. After a bit, the whale was decapitated in an instant, and blood sprayed around the plains surrounding the said whale.

"HOLY CRAP FLUGEL." Subaru jumped with joy at how the whale was powerless against him. He finally felt like he was able to do something for once.

'Don't celebrate just yet, Me. There's still Petelgeuse, we need to lay the poor man to rest. Pandora forced him into insanity back in Ellior forest, 300 years after you died. No not you, after "we" died.'

Subaru couldn't hate the man anymore. He felt a sense of relief after hearing Flugel say that it wasn't the Authority of Sloth that broke Geuse. It was that damned Regulus Corneas and the witch Pandora. Earlier, guilt filled his entire being as he was the one that gave Geuse the box containing sloth. He has already accepted Flugel and himself are one and the same, though they lived in different times.

"Alright, Geuse deserves to rest. He doesn't deserve to suffer anymore." Subaru felt Flugel, even if he had no body, nodding at his statement.

"The sage, Natsuki Subaru has brought down the White Whale" The dragon tablet notified the sage council.

Normally, the dragon tablet told the sage council of the true and absolute future. Though it seems that the constant resets and Flugel finally tracking down Subaru, messed with the future. The dragon tablet earlier predicted that Emilia Camp will be wiped out by Archbishop Petelgeuse Romanee-Contee. They knew of this but they didn't bother to form a protection force to help them because of their prejudice against Emilia and demi-humans alike.

This was now a predicament for the Sage Council. It appears that the man they had belittled just a few days ago, was the legendary hero that helped with the sealing of the witch of envy 400 years ago. The old men was now conflicted as to how they will fix this problem. They knew it was unlikely for the boy to forgive them for insulting the woman he loves, and the boy himself.

"It appears you are usefuull after aaaaall Subaru-kun~" A certain clown with the tome of wisdom whispers to himself. Absolute delight filling him. His dream was now within his grasp and he could finally meet his beloved teacher that french kissed him after he puked, which he found hot. (ew)

"Well then Flugel, I'll put off that talk for now, but I will talk to you after I put Petelgeuse to rest. Capisce?" Subaru firmly told Flugel in his mind. Flugel was actually scared of the talk with Subaru for some reason. He now exuded an aura of wisdom, and power. He felt like an entirely different person from Flugel's perspective.

'Huh, the memories and the power changed you too much! Turn back now! I hate this version! Downgrade, downgrade!' Flugel desperately plead.

"HAHAHAHA, I can't believe that I got you. For a wise sage, you're pretty stupid aren't you?" Subaru started bickering with Flugel, which made both of them laugh.

Unbeknownst to both Subaru's, an armed force of the alliance between Anastasia and Crusch was watching him laughing to himself right beside the decapitated whale. Even Julius saw the sight and was left flabbergasted.

"Surely that incompetent and arrogant boy isn't the one that killed the White whale right?" Julius asked quite loudly. He desperately wanted it to not be the case as that was the same man he humiliated in the arena with the knights watching.

Subaru stopped laughing and then saw the armed force in front of him, awkwardly watching him. Some with their mouths agape, especially two individuals, one with verdant green hair, and another one with a lavender purple hair. Subaru then shouted

"Hey Crusch-san! Julius! I killed this whale! Can you believe that?" The allied force, both mercenaries and knights alike, felt their chins hitting the floor.

"I wanna tell you guys something too by the way." A mischievous grin crept it's way to Subaru's face.

"So first of all-"

to be continued...

A/N: Sorry about the cliffhanger teehee. Well if you would, comment your opinions on this piece and help me become a better writer. I'll try to post weekly or maybe more frequent than that. Well thanks for reading 3
A/N 2: just fixed some spelling mistakes and some minor grammatical ones.