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SECOND MOVEMENT

2.1

A Song for a Scribbled out Name

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"'Girl-on-girl'! Can you believe he said that?" Ino asks.

Sakura smirks. "I can totally believe Chouji said that. The only thing surprising me is that Shikamaru didn't say something worse."

Ino pulls a face as she pours herself another cup of sake. "Men. I'm so glad I never have to date one again."

Karin glances over her shoulder, eyebrows raised high above her glasses. Ino doesn't seem to notice, or even register the implications of what she just admitted: that she's serious enough about Karin that she doesn't foresee any other partners in her future.

"So has Karin converted you to the lesbian team entirely?" Sakura teases.

Ino rolls her eyes. "No, I'm just as bi as I've always been, but—"

She shuts up abruptly, blushing as she turns to Karin. Who is chopping scallions and pointedly ignoring this conversation.

Ino clears her throat, then says, "Maybe you should give it a shot, Sakura. Can't have worse luck in bed with women than you've had with men."

She's not wrong—with one exception. And now all Sakura can think about is how, just this morning, she let Sasuke fuck her on the couch in the next room. He went more slowly than their quickie behind the Last Chance, drawing it out for long enough that she was a weak-kneed, quivering mess by the end.

"I don't want to talk about my love life," Sakura mutters.

"Who said anything about love? It's your sex life I'm trying to help you with."

Karin laughs. A loud, brassy sound that reminds Sakura a bit of Tsunade when she's deep in her cups.

"I told you I don't do threesomes," Karin says to Ino.

Ino chokes on her sake, then wheezes, shaking her head frantically. "That is so not what I was suggesting. Besides, I don't think we could fit Sakura's billboard brow into bed with us even if we wanted to."

Sakura is tempted to touch her forehead, just to make sure it hasn't expanded since she last looked in the mirror. "Please. If I ever did decide to sleep with a woman, you'd be dead last on my list, Pig."

Someone knocks on the front door just as Ino opens her mouth, cutting off whatever comeback she was about to spew. Four knocks, abrupt and loud.

Sasuke.

Sakura forces herself to walk, because if she hurries to the door, Ino will absolutely notice. She needs to stay calm, collected—and get rid of Sasuke immediately.

The right words are poised on the tip of her tongue (I've got company, so you need to go) but when she opens the door, Sakura can only blink. Because Sasuke isn't empty handed. He's holding two very large brown paper bags, and the smell wafting from them makes her mouth water.

"What's all this?" Sakura asks.

Sasuke hitches the bags higher. "Lunch."

"Lunch," Sakura repeats. She sounds like an idiot, echoing his own answer back at him.

"Yeah. Sashimi, unadon, soba, tempura. And some anko dango."

"You don't like dango."

Sasuke raises one shoulder. "You do."

Sakura resists the urge to take one of the bags. He's handling them fine, but she has two good arms and it feels rude to stand here without helping him.

"I'm sorry," she whispers. "This was very sweet of you, but now's not a good time."

His eyebrows pinch into a frown without his mouth moving at all. Then he asks, "Is your boyfriend here?"

"No, but I really can't—"

"Sasuke! What are you doing lurking on the doorstep?"

Ino practically shouted that question into Sakura's ear, and now she's leaning around her to peek at the lunch Sasuke is holding.

"Sasuke's here?" Karin calls from the kitchen.

Sasuke's eyes widen a fraction—the closest thing to fear he ever shows. Good, he'll be easy to get rid of now.

"Thanks for thinking of me," Sakura says, "but we've already started making lunch—"

"Screw that!" Ino yanks one of the bags away from Sasuke, then grabs him by his empty left sleeve and pulls him into the house. "I don't want to cook."

The expression on Sasuke's face is almost worth this disaster. It's clearly his worst nightmare, to be stuck in a kitchen with three women who once pursued him.

And Ino, being Ino, doesn't let more than five minutes pass without commenting on it.

"You look so awkward, Sasuke. You're not uncomfortable with our company are you?" she asks.

He takes a careful bite of yellowtail sashimi, chews slowly, swallows, and says, "No."

Ino bats her eyelashes in a way that should be charming, but somehow from her it just screams danger. "Really? Because I'm getting the distinct impression that something about the three of us is off-putting to you."

"You're mistaken," Sasuke says, his voice perfectly even.

Sakura has to admire his composure. Because she's certain that, underneath that cool exterior, he's spectacularly annoyed.

"Okay, I'll drop it, but first you have to answer a question." Ino flips her hair over her shoulder. "When were teenagers, which of us did you think was the prettiest?"

The look Sasuke gives Ino could freeze an erupting volcano solid, and Sakura has to hide her smile behind her hand.

Until Karin speaks up, and then any desire to smile dies a swift death.

"Don't be silly, Ino. You never had a chance, and neither did I."

When Sasuke shifts in his seat, Karin's red eyes narrow, her head cocked to the side. The curve of her lips borders on predatory.

"Do you still have that ribbon?" she asks.

Sasuke stiffens, his shoulders rigid and jaw clenched.

"What ribbon?" Sakura asks.

"He used to wear a green ribbon under his left arm guard." Karin taps the middle of her own forearm to demonstrate. "It had cherry blossoms printed on it."

"Karin," Sasuke says tightly. A warning, maybe even a threat.

Sakura's breath catches in her chest, because no, there's no way. It couldn't possibly be—

"Sakura wore that ugly ribbon like every day after I took mine back from her!" Ino says, grinning.

That definitely isn't how Sakura remembers things, but she can't find the wherewithal to challenge Ino's lie.

"How did you get it?" Ino asks. "You didn't steal it, did you? Because that's creepy."

"I didn't steal it," Sasuke snaps. "Sakura dropped it on our last day at the academy. I picked it up."

He meets her eyes then, but only for a second before fixing his gaze over the top of her head. "I meant to give it back to you, but we were so busy as genin. I forgot."

"And you took it with you when you left Konoha?" Sakura asks.

She hates how fragile her voice sounds, like the fractured surface of a frozen lake. Cracks in the ice that will break open entirely when too much pressure is applied.

Sasuke stands up, knocking his chair backward so forcefully that it wobbles and nearly overturns. Sakura doesn't allow herself to consider what Ino and Karin will think when she runs after him, chasing him outside.

"You never answered Karin's question. Do you still have my ribbon?"

"No," Sasuke says. "I threw it away after my fight with Itachi."

His terse answer hits her like a blow to the gut. Heavy, merciless, focused right at the center of her stomach. That's what she gets for expecting anything real from him.

Now he's walking down her front steps, soon to disappear into the busy street, and she can't, she just can't let him go this time.

"Wait!"

Sasuke stops, but he doesn't face her or speak. Never giving much, always holding back. She should be used to that by now, but Sakura isn't sure she'll ever adjust to it.

"Come back later. Eight o'clock."

She frames it like a command, not that it will help her chances. If Sasuke doesn't want to come back, he'll stay away. Simple as that.

He inhales sharply, then lets out an angry huff. "What if your boyfriend comes over?"

"He won't," Sakura says. Quietly, as if whispering will make any of this less shameful. "Hideo just left on a mission. He'll be gone for a couple of weeks."

Sasuke's hand curls into a fist at his side. "All right. Eight o'clock."

As soon as he's gone, lost amidst the crush of villagers on her street, Sakura runs her trembling hands through her hair. She shouldn't have invited him back. This morning and last night, those were mistakes that don't bear repeating. A smarter woman would consider that green ribbon, how he tossed it aside like so much trash. But Sakura never has been smart when it comes to this man, and instead, all she can think about is Sasuke wrapping that same ribbon around his arm. Wearing a token with no purpose except to remind him of her.

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Three. That's how many times he's been at Sakura's house today. Because he spent the night with her, then he came back for the most embarrassing lunch of his life, and now he's here again. Half an hour late, because he needs something to make him look less desperate.

Sakura answers the door before he's even finished knocking, and he immediately regrets making her wait. Her eyes are red-rimmed, nose pink, eyelashes spiky and wet. Telltale signs that she just wiped away tears. He hates that, making her cry, but he can't seem to stop it.

The moment the door shuts behind him, Sasuke pulls her into his arms and kisses her. Her soft lips give beneath his, and she tastes like salt and sake. Tears and the alcohol she tried to drown them in. She breaks the kiss before he's done with her, but Sasuke doesn't have time to protest before she drops to her knees. Her nimble hands make quick work of his belt, then she's unzipping his pants and tugging them down, along with his boxers. Gods, she's going to—

Sasuke squeezes his eyes shut as she takes him into her mouth. He can't watch this, because the sensation alone is pushing him closer to the edge than he wants. The sight of Sakura sucking his cock might finish him in minutes, and he can't afford to lose control so quickly. Not after the pitiful stamina he displayed last night.

That shame grounds him, helps him regain some sense. Not much, though, and not for long, because fuck, she's good at this. Sakura takes him deep, and when he feels her lips brush the base of his cock, Sasuke can't resist looking any longer. Her lips are red and wet, stretched wide around him, her hair a mess where he's gripping it. He didn't even realize he grabbed her hair, but he did. The proof is in those pretty pink strands, caught between his fingers. She's eager, messy, and—practiced.

Sakura does something with her tongue that makes his legs feel like jelly, and he gasps, "Stop. Sakura—please."

She pulls away, wiping at her eyes. Tears again, but not from heartache this time. If he has to make her cry, this is certainly the way he'd prefer to do it.

Sakura leads him to the couch, where he fucked her just this morning, and starts to undress.

"No. I want to have you in a bed," Sasuke says.

Sakura goes completely still, a terrifyingly blank expression on her face. Sasuke counts five of his own shallow breaths before she finally says, "Okay. The guest room. It's closer than mine."

That's true, but it isn't why she's suggesting it over her own room. Too many memories in that bed, he supposes.

There are plenty in the guest room (his room) as well. If he stopped to think about it, he would have expected Sakura to scrub every inch of his influence from her house. But she hasn't. Everything is exactly as he left it, from the neat, navy blue duvet to the window frame he broke on his third night here. None of it replaced, none of it moved, none of it fixed. This room is a monument to the time he spent here.

Sakura kisses him, and he tastes himself on her. Lewd and unfamiliar, even saltier than the vestiges of her tears. Sasuke jerks backward, his hand flying to his mouth.

Sakura pulls her dress over her head and tosses it aside, revealing dark red lingerie. Lacy panties cling to her hips, and a matching bra pushes up her small breasts. When she turns around, he sees that there's not much to her underwear. The thong shows off her perfect, heart-shaped ass, and he wants it off of her, now.

As if she heard his thoughts, Sakura slips off her panties. She leaves the bra on, and Sasuke can't decide whether he approves of that or not. He can't suck on her nipples with a bra covering her, but when he bends down to kiss the swell of her breasts, he likes how she feels under his mouth. All her softness gathered and put on display for him.

They kiss and grope and bite and fumble their way into bed. Everything about this, about them, is a goddamn mess, and Sasuke doesn't care.

Sakura straddles him, taking his cock inside her without fanfare—or foreplay. She whimpers, a noise caught between pleasure and pain. Wet, he can feel how wet she is, but not as much as last night or this morning.

"Sakura. You don't have to…"

She braces her right hand on his shoulder, her left between her legs, rubbing herself off as she rides him. He props himself up on his elbow and left arm to get leverage and rocks up to meet her.

If he had two hands, he could do better. Hold her hip with his right and stroke her with his left. He's ambidextrous (every shinobi in his clan was trained to be) but his left hand was always stronger, more precise, better for manipulating delicate things.

"Sasuke. Look at me."

When he doesn't, Sakura grasps his chin and tilts it up, bringing his gaze to hers. Green, green eyes, blazing with some ferocity he's never seen from her before and couldn't begin to name. She takes his hand and guides it between her legs, murmuring instructions as she shows him how best to touch her. His insecurities fade with her moans, which grow louder and higher-pitched as they move together.

And then it feels too good, too right, for him to think about anything besides Sakura.

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A storm broke while they were having sex. Purple lightning flashes, the window rattles, and rain seeps through the crack in the frame, same as it always does.

Sakura snuggles closer to Sasuke. She's already half lying on top of him, an arm around his waist, one foot hooked over his ankle, her cheek flush against his chest. Over the last few minutes, she's listened to his heartbeat slow back to normal. A healthy, steady rhythm, more soothing than any lullaby could be.

He plays with her hair, idly twisting a lock of it between his fingers.

"Why did you keep my ribbon?" Sakura asks.

His heartbeat quickens under her ear, like a song with a suddenly spiking tempo.

"You know why," Sasuke says.

"Because you…" Sakura nuzzles his chest, breathing in the scents of sex that cling to his skin. "Because you loved me?"

His hand in her hair tightens, pulling almost to the point of pain. "Yes."

"When did you stop loving me?" Sakura asks.

Sasuke moves out of her embrace so quickly than she ends up dumped on her back beside him.

"I don't want to talk about this, Sakura. Nothing can come of it except hurting you."

She turns away, but he grasps her shoulder and pulls her back, forcing her to face him. "Don't hide from me."

He's not angry, she thinks, just frustrated. With her, or himself? She can't tell.

"If you loved me, how could you leave?" Sakura asks. "I would have followed you to the ends of the earth if you'd let me. I never would have left your side, not for anything. I know you said that you had to cut ties with me and the rest of our team because you cared so much, but that doesn't make sense to me."

"Of course it doesn't." He cups her cheek with exquisite gentleness, the tenderest touch he's ever given her. "Because you're not like me, Sakura. I had no idea how to handle love. Back then, hate was the only thing I really understood."

"But you kept my ribbon. You left to get away from loving me, but you kept something to remember me by. So you must not have given up completely. Not right away, at least."

She hates this. Begging, in not so many words, for Sasuke to admit that some part of his love for her survived.

He doesn't admit that. He doesn't say anything at all.

"What are we doing?" Sakura asks. "Sleeping together like this? It's stupid."

Sasuke draws his hand away from her cheek. "I understand if you want to stop."

Sakura sits up, holding the sheets to her bare breasts. Her bra came off between the first time and the second, and now she wishes she'd kept it on. "I said this was stupid. Not that I want to be smart."

Silence settles between them, as tangible and awkward as a third person in the bed, until Sasuke finally asks, "Doesn't it bother you to cheat?"

She's surprised he didn't bring this up sooner. Sasuke has never struck her as the sort to willingly be someone's side piece.

Then again, she's not either, but for him she might tolerate it.

"I'm not cheating. Hideo and I have an open relationship."

Sasuke glares at her. "You couldn't have mentioned that before? Would have saved me some guilt."

She shrugs. "You must not have felt too guilty, or you wouldn't have fucked me four times in the last twenty-four hours."

He grunts.

She's right, and he knows it.

"An open relationship? Why would you settle for that?" Sasuke asks.

Sometimes Sakura forgets how haughty he can be. Until he turns that disdain on her, and then she remembers.

"I'm not settling for anything," Sakura says. "I'm the one who suggested it."

"What? Why?"

She throws up her hands, dropping the sheet. "Because I'm busy! Today is my only day off for the next week and a half. I didn't want Hideo to feel lonely, or… neglected. So I suggested this."

"You're a kunoichi and a medic, and you volunteer at a clinic for traumatized children in your free time—a clinic you started. You're always going to be busy. If he can't handle the demands your work puts on your time, he doesn't deserve you."

Sakura wraps her arms around herself. Shielding her body because she can't shield her heart when he talks like that. With such pride in her work, and so much understanding for the life she leads.

It's also infuriating, since he has no right to criticize other men for failing her.

"You're hardly the authority on what I deserve."

"I treated you wrongly, but that doesn't mean I think no one should treat you right," Sasuke says shortly.

Sakura sits straighter, her shoulders square and head held high. "Well, you don't need to worry about that. My old boyfriends weren't exactly prizes, but Hideo is a good man. He was willing to be exclusive. Like I said, it was my idea to do things this way."

She can feel Sasuke watching her with such intent that it feels like he might actually be looking through her.

"Did that choice have anything to do with me?" he asks.

"No! I didn't open up my relationship so I could fuck you without guilt. I didn't expect to be sleeping with anyone, least of all you!" Sakura climbs out of bed, taking the sheet with her. Which is a mistake, because when she glances back at Sasuke, he's completely uncovered. And that decidedly will not help her keep her head on straight. "I don't need to defend myself or my relationship to you. It's none of your business."

Sasuke is out of bed and on his feet in an instant. He finds his boxers quickly, at least, but because there are no gods her panties seem to have disappeared into the ether.

"It damn well is my business if we're going to keep doing this," Sasuke says.

Sakura wraps the sheet around her more tightly, but it doesn't do much to preserve her dignity. "I don't see how. I'm up to date on my shots, and Hideo is too. I'm not going to get pregnant, and you're not going to catch anything. I assume you're protected too."

Sasuke hesitates, utterly quiet. And with that silence, he reminds her why it's foolish to ever make assumptions about someone else's sexual health.

"Are you kidding?" Sakura asks. "That's so irresponsible! So you've just been gallivating around the continent having unprotected sex? You could have gotten someone pregnant. Or picked up an STD!"

Sasuke makes a sharp motion with his hand, cutting through the air like he's trying to cut down her accusation. "That's not possible."

Sakura laughs. "If I had a ryo for every patient who's said exactly that when I told them they've got chlamydia, I wouldn't have to work."

He spins toward her, his mouth flattened into a hard line, his eyes shining with fury. She hasn't seen him this angry in a very, very long time. "Dammit, Sakura, it's not possible because I haven't been with anybody since you!"

She stumbles backward, but Sasuke doesn't let her escape. With three long strides he's standing before her, crowding her against the wall. He keeps doing that, in the alley behind the bar and again in her kitchen this morning, trapping her with his body.

"You wanted to know the number of women I've slept with in the last five years? Zero," Sasuke says. "My number is zero."

She can hardly breathe, much less speak. All she manages to squeak out is, "Oh."

Sasuke stares up at the ceiling instead of at her. "I'm surprised you didn't figure it out already. Between our five minute fuck last night and how clumsy I've been in bed today."

He's trying to play it off like a joke, but she hears real insecurity beneath his callous words. Soothing him with kindness, no matter how honestly, will only hurt his pride, so Sakura says, "I guess it was hard to notice your incompetence between all the orgasms you've been giving me."

That almost gets a smile out of him, but not quite.

"Oh, I think you picked up on my incompetence. I seem to recall something about your other lovers being bigger, more skilled, and more generous," Sasuke says dryly.

Admitting the truth hurts, but after what he just shared, Sakura can't let him believe he disappointed her. "I only said that to piss you off and make myself feel less pathetic."

"Why would you feel pathetic? You know what you're doing in bed." Sasuke half laughs, more bitter than amused. "You really know what you're doing."

Sakura slides her fingers along his collarbone, from his shoulder to the base of his throat. The little hollow there has several names. Suprasternal notch. Fossa jugularis sternalis. Jugular notch. Plender gap. When she dove into her first anatomy textbook, she was drawn to illustrations of that spot again and again. Learning new facts about it, and thinking of Sasuke all the while. Wondering if she would ever have a chance to touch that place on him.

Now, Sakura brushes the lightest kiss there. His chest expands against her as he sucks in a deep breath.

She rests her head against his left shoulder, eyes closed. "I feel pathetic because it's only ever good with you. Physically, emotionally, all of it. When anybody else touches me, I—I don't feel what I should feel. Taro cheated on me because I kept avoiding sex. Kenji ridiculed me for being cold in bed. And he was right. I am cold—"

"You're not," Sasuke says. "You're worlds away from cold. He's an idiot."

Sakura pushes at his chest, but he doesn't budge. "You're not listening to me! I'm not just saying sex is better with you. I'm saying that I feel nothing with other men. Nothing! I'm b-broken or something. I don't know." She shakes her head, suddenly so weary that she wishes she could just lie down and never get up. "See? Pathetic."

Sasuke wraps his hand around the back of her neck. It's an oddly comforting gesture, one that makes her feel safe, secure.

"You aren't pathetic, or broken, or cold, Sakura. And if all you're looking for out of—this, is to feel something, then…" Sasuke kisses her forehead, her temple, her cheek. "Then I'll do my best to make you feel good."

"Thank you." She can feel the hot rush of tears creeping up on her, but she refuses to cry again tonight. "I want to make you feel good too."

Sasuke strokes her throat, running his thumb over her pulse point. "You do."

"For now, can we just sleep?" Sakura asks.

His breath fans over her ear when he says, "I thought you'd want me to leave."

I never want that, Sakura thinks. Being together hurts in its own way, but it's his leaving that always breaks her heart.

"Not tonight," she says. "Tonight, I want you to stay."

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Author's Notes: Thank you to everyone who's supporting this story, especially those of you who are reviewing! Comments are a fic writer's lifeblood!