Wrote this fic for Inko's Birthday (July 4th). Expect nothing serious.

(I was initially going to just let this rot on AO3, but I decided that I might as well share this masterpiece on another platform.)

Inko's absentmindedly stared into space, bored out of her mind. It was her birthday, and unlike last year it wasn't a weekend, meaning she couldn't spend it by going to a restaurant with Izuku. If only a convenient pastime would burst its way into her life—

"I am here!" Toshinori burst through ceiling, clad in his hero costume.

"A—All Might?!" Inko shrieked in surprise, jumping up from the couch. "What are you doing here?"

"Quite simple, Mamadoriya!" He flexed his muscles, instantly shredding his clothing. "I am here, for some gorilla grip pussy!"

"Wha—huh?" Inko blushed, trying to keep her eyes averted from All Might's bratwurst.

"It's quite simple, Mamadoriya—"

"Call me Inko."

"—Mama Inko!" He corrected. "Young Midoriya informed me that he was disappointed that he couldn't spend the day with you, so I vowed to make up for it!"

"But how do you know of my legendary vaginal strength?" She inquired.

"With my quirk, of course!" He rambunctiously boasted. "Through the power of my peen, I am able to detect a tight snake snatching snatch from a mile away!"

"Oh my!" She took a glance towards his beef rod, surprised to find it pointing directly towards her. "Such a powerful quirk!"

"Indeed!" Toshinori helicoptered his mighty Staff of Rā, swinging it through the air. "Want suck?" He asked.

"Yessir!" Inko grabbed onto the hero with her quirk, pulling him towards her. Normally, such a feat would be impossible, but the power of horniness strengthened her quirk to an unnatural degree.

Grabbing onto his meat pike, she effortlessly stuffed it down her throat.

"I am here, in Mama Inko's mouth!" Toshinori exclaimed, maintaining a hold on her hair. "Your skills are truly impressive - had I not been the almighty All Might, I'm certain you would've sucked my beef rod clean off with the power of your suck!"

Inko accepted the praise, applying extra pressure until Toshinori let out an exuberant groan, coating her stomach in his almighty All Might swimmers.

Pulling her mouth off, Inko began shedding her clothing before jumping onto her couch stark naked, spreading her legs.

"Bring it." She challenged with a grin.

Just as Toshinori was about to indulge, another hole was made in their ceiling, with a tall suited man in a respirator making his presence known.

"Hold it!" He shouted.

"New house, who dis?" Inko asked, slightly peeved at the interruption.

"All For One!" Toshinori pointed at him accusingly. "I thought you were dead!"

"How foolish, you bumbling buffoon." He laughed through the respirator. "You think a few simple punches are enough to kill me? Think, All Might, think!" He pointed both fingers towards his temples over the mask. "I'm a 200 year-old megalomaniac! Your puny quirk could never destroy—"

"What do you want?" Inko interjected, successfully halting the monologue. "I'm tryna bag some major dick, so if you don't have anything to say, go away."

"Oh, but of course! I am also here for the same reason!"

"For some dick?" Toshinori shielded his privates.

"No!" The villain vehemently denied. "I am in need of some gorilla grip coochie!"

"How'd you know to come here?"

"With my quirk, of course!" He bragged. "Through the power—"

"Nevermind, I've heard this song and dance already." She interrupted. "Lemme see what you're working with." She reached out with her quirk, pulling the villain's clothing off in one fell swoop.

In addition to his mask.

"Damn, this bitch ugly as hell!" Toshinori pointed at the cryptid's head.

"Screw that." Inko pointed at his crotch. "This man's packing 2 inches at best!"

The room went silent, until both Inko and Toshinori burst into laughter.

"Hey, it's not funny!" All For One covered his pecker with his hand. "I'm just a grower, not a shower! I've got a quirk for this, lemme just—"

"Lol no, that's some pussy shit." Inko grabbed onto the man with her quirk. "Off to Brazil you go!" She launched him towards her with such velocity that he went soaring through the apartment wall, eventually disappearing in the clouds.

"Wha…" Toshinori gaped in shock at the display of power. "How?"

"With my quirk, of course—"

"Nevermind!" He interrupted. He wasn't too keen on getting a lecture when there were more pressing matters at hand. "Let's smash!"

Toshinori was lifted off his feet and levitated towards Inko as she inserted him inside her unyieldingly rigid underlips.

"Such strength!" He groaned.

"This is the truth behind my quirk. The grip of my coochie is so immense that it can attract objects towards me when I so much as tense my lower lips!" She explained, pulling him in even closer.

The pair continued to rut for another 5 hours, until Toshinori's strength inevitably couldn't hold up against the might of her muff. Thrusting in as deep as possible, he coated her baby room with enough splooge to impregnate the planet.

"Ready for round 2?" Inko asked impishly.

"Uhh…"

Toshinori was decidedly not ready. It took all of his strength to hold out for so long, and he was certain that he couldn't last another trip.

So he chose to unknowingly take a page out of Hisashi Midoriya's book and get the fuck out.

Inko watched the hero dive out out of the house, creating yet another hole.

"Dammit!" She shouted to the sky. "Damn this gorilla grip, tight, mighty morphing coochie of mine!"

She slouched in her chair, before looking down at her vagina.

If All Might wasn't going to stick around, she might as well drag back somebody else for a good time.

Omake:

All For One eventually landed, resulting in a large crater upon impact.

Damn that bastard All Might! He just had to show him up once more with that behemoth beef pillar of his, and this time it cost him some S-Rank snatch.

"You alright there pal?" All For One felt somebody hook an arm underneath him to help him to his feet. "You took a bit of a rough fall there buddy."

"Thank you, my friend." He regained his balanced, allowing him to stand independently. "What's your name, good sir?"

"Hisashi Midoriya, at your service!" He introduced. "Welcome to Brazil!"

Holy shit, she was serious?!

"A Japanese man in Brazil? Do you live here, or is this a simple holiday?" He inquired.

"You see, I came here to get as far away as—"Hisashi's feet lifted off the ground as he began floating. "NO! NOT NOW!" The man began flying off, with one final plea to the world. "SAVE ME FROM THE GORILLA GRIP COOCHIEEEEEEEE…"

RIP Hisashi Midoriya. His sacrifice will be noted.