AN: So my boss is on vacation. I set the land speed record for calling and annoying her. My store was vandalized... with glitter. I've had 2 Door Dash thefts. Our "temporary" assistant manager didn't show up until yesterday. Everyone tanked on their numbers while I was gone. Someone has stolen several cases of Copic markers. Most of this happened because the store was understaffed all week. Monday my boss gets back and the Inventory manager and I plan on hosting Festivus for our boss. I hope she enjoyed her vacation because she's going to have a bad Monday.

I'm sure you will figure out who's head I'm in after a bit…

"Even if you still do." - Episode 21

I should let you go. He thought at the woman in the photo in his hand. You're with someone else. He makes you hum. He makes you happy. I have no right to interfere.

He sipped from his beer bottle and stared out the wide glass door facing his back yard.

Birds flitted from bush to bush while the lazy bumble bees tumbled along from flower bed to flower bed.

She had helped him plant some of those very flowers just as he'd helped plant some in her yard as well. It was what you did for a friend after all. You chipped in, helped out. Hugged them when they had a terrible day. Were there for them when the relationship didn't work out…

But this one… didn't seem to not be working out. He'd asked her to marry him and she'd agreed to do so.

He'd lost her. Finally. In spite of it all. In spite of her loving him for years and him never letting her say it. He'd probably lost her mostly because of that.

And then he'd very stupidly had said he wouldn't be here had things turned out different which was the truth. Had Charlie not died West wouldn't have abused his trust and sent him on a death mission. Had he blown out his knee in a way Janet wasn't able to repair even once he'd have been forced into a desk job and sent off to Peterson or Groom Lake or that hot box in Utah possibly to finish out his tour away from the SGC where they needed able bodies not cripples. Or they just would have discharged him medically and told him to have a nice life. If Hammond not taken a chance on him he might have been sent right back home with a boot in his ass.

There were as many ways he'd have not been there to stare at that ring trying to hide the sick feeling in his gut as there were stars in the universe but there was exactly and only one way he'd be there having that particular discussion with that particular woman at that particular time.

Because any other combination of those events wouldn't have been her begging him with her eyes to give her a single reason why she ought to turn down the proposal from a man that from all indications otherwise made her happy.

He sipped more beer. It's time to let you go. He told himself firmly. Then sighed. Because you have no business loving me. He thought sadly. Even if you still do.