September - Harry, age 17

Rain pattered against the window late within the night at the cabin, a gentle rolling thunder rumbling in the distance. It was far from a severe storm by any means. Yet the seventeen year old jolted up with a harsh breath, sweat beading his brow as his eyes quickly darted around the bedroom. He heard the screams, saw the bodies... the bodies. His head bowed, hands raising to curl into his hair. Even now, he heard the cries and saw the children- no. No. He had to get out.

"Dad," he gasped, pressing the heels of his palms into his eyes desperately trying to clear the visions from his mind. He felt hot. As if he was back in the battles all over again on that night.

Lowering his hands down, Harry blinked several times as his vision swam for a short time. It caused him to feel ill and dizzy but he didn't care. He needed help.

Shakily, the seventeen year old threw the covers off himself and pushed himself up. His hand rested on the wall, taking in a deep breath before he started to walk. It wasn't a far walk, he knew that, yet the hall seemed to go on forever.

Finally he reached the door across from his own, resting his forehead down on the door for a moment as he took in several breaths. Turning the knob, Harry entered his guardian's room without bothering to knock and took in a sharp breath. "D-dad... dad."

Snape's eyes instantly opened at the sound of his child. He sat up, waving a hand as he did so causing the room to light up softly.

"Harry?" He looked over at the clock on his bedside table, frowning as he saw the time. Nearly three in the morning. "What is it? Are you alright?" The man leaned back against the headboard, waving a hand to call the teenager over to him. "Is it the storm?"

Harry leaned against the entryway, heart racing as he closed his eyes tightly. His chest ached, mind running miles ahead of him as he tried to focus on the voice. No no. Snape was there. They were not at Hogwarts anymore. It was over. A strangled sound of desperation passed his lips as he pressed his hands back to his face. "Help." Was all he could force.

Concern took over the man's face as he slowly stood and made his way over to the boy. Despite several weeks having passed, his body was still healing. He placed a gentle hand on Harry's shoulder, giving it a light squeeze. "Come now, come sit with me."

Harry's left hand instantly gripped at Snape's arm, his own arm shaking slightly as he followed the man over to the bed. He collapsed onto it, releasing Snape as he folded himself forward, rocking himself slowly. His ears rang loudly, nearly deafening as the teen bowed his head forward.

"You're okay," Snape said gently as he moved around the bed to sit beside the boy. "Nice deep breaths Harry. You are just fine."

The teenager kept his posture completely still, vaguely aware of Snape now at his side and speaking. Snape was there. Yet his mind yanked him in different directions once he was sitting, scene after scene replaying within his mind before settling once more within Hogwarts.

No. No. Harry choked with an inhale. "I'm sorry," he whispered, recalling vividly the first and second years as they were guided to safety within the chaos. The castle walls crumbling in... it all felt too much. And this time there was no distraction of hunting Voldemort.

"Don't apologize." Snape rested back against the headboard before reaching out and carefully pulling Harry to his side. "You are here and you are safe. I am right here next to you."

Harry's position hardly shifted as he was moved before the muscles within his legs relaxed and allowed themselves to be stretched out. Taking in a deep breath, Harry rested his head up slightly to rest on Snape's chest. It took mere moments before he was trying to match the man's breathing, a desperate attempt to calm his own.

"That's it," Snape hummed softly. "Nice deep breaths. I am right here." The man's hand moved to gently rub the boy's back. He knew that he could fetch a Calming Draught and fix this problem within minutes but he was sure that Harry working through them would be far more beneficial. "It's all in the past Harry and you are okay."

Slowly, Harry curled an arm around his guardian's middle as he continued to focus on matching his breathing. His body jolted slightly, a fight between the memories and attempting to stay grounded. Was he okay? He certainly didn't feel it. The nightmares were common now, but the full effect of the war had not completely shown until then. How often his mind tried to pull him back.

"D-dad..."

"I am right here." Snape leaned down to place a kiss on top of his child's head. "We are both here safe and sound."

Harry blinked several times, pinpointing Snape's other hand as he focused on that. Not the castle that seemed to swim in his peripheral vision. "Talk... please. Anything."

Snape cleared his throat softly as his hand brushed between the boy's shoulder blades. "We are here at the cottage. Perhaps tomorrow we can take a walk into town. I think I may be up to it now."

Ah. Of course Snape would pick that. Harry had been against Snape's straining himself since they arrived. Perhaps subtly coddling the man in his own way after it all. Despite Snape's protests that he was the one to be the caretaker. Still... "Can try," he breathed, taking in a deep breath.

"We could have lunch out." Snape's fingertips tapped the boy's back gently. "I would like to purchase some ingredients as well."

Harry nodded once, his back relaxing slowly as he released a breath. "Okay," he whispered, raising a hand to rub at his face as he felt his cheeks warm up. "'M sorry."

"No apologizing." Snape tapped the teenager's back once more. "You have done nothing wrong. Nothing at all."

Harry could only nod, twisting his body slightly to curl both arms around his guardian. A sudden harsh sob shook his shoulders, causing his near perfect breathing pattern to hitch as another mournful sound escaped. He had been doing so well, perhaps too well the past few weeks. Now here he was... hopeless. Anger welled up within him before deflating instantly, his head pressing further into Snape's chest.

"Focus on all the good things," Snape instructed softly. "All of the positives." He moved his head, bending his neck down to place a second kiss, this time on the boy's forehead. "Come now, you can do that...think of all of the good things."

Positives? There were several, but he didn't see the smiling faces of a war being over. He saw the grief and pain of the loss of friends and family. He choked out a sob once more, coughing as he had attempted to hold it back. Hot tears burned past his eyes, causing him to blink several times and dampen the man's front. The clear memory of his guardian being attacked... the sounds of the snake. His arms tightened subconsciously around Snape's middle. "Can't."

"You are okay," the man breathed softly. "I am okay. Your friends are okay. So many were saved. So many will be able to go on and live the rest of their lives because you were so brave. Hogwarts will be fixed and it will return to what it once was before all of this mess." Snape's hand gently rubbed between the teenager's shoulder blades. "You were so brave and so brilliant."

Harry took in a shaky breath, releasing it slowly as he pressed his cheek back against Snape's chest. Once more he attempted to slowly match his breathing with his guardian's, shoulders shaking slightly.

"So many were saved, Harry. Our whole world was saved." The man leaned forward slightly, pressing a kiss to the teenager's temple. "I am so proud of you. So very proud."

Continuing with his shaky exhales, the teenager opened his eyes slowly and stared across the room. "Gods..." He muttered softly, leaning his head away to rub at his face with the sleeve of his nightshirt.

"Hmm?" Snape glanced across the room to where Harry was looking.

"Nothing... nothing. Trying to focus." He took in a breath, eyes remaining on the far wall for a long moment. "'M okay," Harry whispered, more to assure himself than anything else.

"You are okay," Snape repeated the words with a nod. "You are safe."

Harry turned back to his guardian, eyes closing tightly as he wrapped his arm tightly back around Snape's middle. His head pressed into the man's side, inhaling deeply. "I'm so sorry." He was sure it was completely childish. He was seventeen! What would he have done if Snape wasn't there? He would have figured it out himself. Yet here he was... like he was a child all over again.

"What are you apologizing for?" Snape's hand moved to rub the teenager's back once more. "You have no reason to be sorry for anything."

"Waking y-you. I would have been f-fine." His back shook as he willed himself to calm.

"I believe that you have known since you were all of six years old that I do not mind you waking me." Snape's fingertips gently patted the boy's back. "You needn't apologize to me for that."

Harry had never felt as tense as he did at that moment, his arm tight around Snape's middle while his legs curled up. He only offered a slow nod against his side, releasing a ragged sigh.

"I would be cross if you did not wake me when you are in such a state." The man hugged the child a bit more tightly to his chest. "Now just calm down and focus on breathing."

He wanted to say something. To say he was completely fine... but it would have been a complete lie. Instead, Harry shifted his head down slightly further and focused on both matching his breathing with his guardian's and the calming sound of his heart.

"Very good," Snape hummed softly as the thunder rumbled loudly outside.

After several minutes, Harry didn't move from his position as his breathing soon fell in tandem with Snape's. Slowly, he lifted his head up. "Thanks," he whispered.

"You needn't thank me for such a thing." Snape leaned forward, pressing a kiss onto the teenager's forehead.

"I hate this," Harry muttered, raising his head up to rest properly on his guardian's shoulder. "I can't deal with that."

"We are just going to have to work through it together." Snape continued to rub the teenager's back. "That is all we can do, Harry."

"I could hear..." No, he shouldn't think of it again. A shudder ran down his spine, his hold subconsciously tightened. "I can go back so you can sleep."

"Nonsense." Snape shook his head. "You can stay right where you are in here." The man waved his hand causing the lights to dim once more.

Harry's eyes shifted over to the window as the rain started to fall slightly harder, thunder rumbling overhead. He took in a breath, slowly lying down next to Snape's side as his eyes fell closed. "Thanks."

"There is no need to thank me." The man waved his hand once more causing a blanket to appear. Shifting to sit up slightly, he plucked it from the air and laid it over the teenager.

Harry lifted his head slightly, adjusting the pillow quickly before lying back down with a shaky exhale. Harry curled his arm under it, forcing his shoulders to relax as he sighed deeply. "You really feel up to going out tomorrow?"

"I believe I do." Snape laid back down beside the boy. "I cannot sit in a chair all day forever. It may take me a bit longer but I think I can manage."

"Can use a cane to help," Harry breathed, resting his forehead against Snape as he shuddered fully.

"I can." Snape hummed softly. "Are you cold? I can get you another blanket."

"Just calming down," he whispered, eyes opening as a flash of lightning lit up the room. Humming, Harry stared towards the window across the room before closing his eyes once more.

Snape's hand rubbed between the teenager's shoulder blades as his other hand waved causing the room to darken completely. "Try and get some more sleep."

Shifting, the teenager moved away slightly and rolled to lay completely onto his stomach. "Okay," he muttered softly, rubbing his cheek slowly against the pillow.

"Sleep well," Snape's hand moved to brush the teenager's arm. "I love you very much."

"Love you," Harry whispered, hardly audible as he spoke against the cloth of the pillow.