The years trickled by once more, regaining a steady and constant pace until I hardly knew where the time went at all. As a Jonin I dedicated myself to domestic affairs, never once leaving the village so that I could remain home at all times. I fell into the shadows, sliding underneath the Hokage's radar and the council all but forgot about me and my oddness, which suited me perfectly as they did not disturb me. Now that Sasuke was twelve years old, he had passed all of his exams and graduated from the academy. There were many parents waiting to congratulate their children as they came rushing out with their brand new headbands with the leaf symbol emblazoned upon them, and as Sasuke came sauntering outside, I gave a relaxed smile.
"Congratulations Sasuke, you did well." I praised him, patting his head tentatively as he came to a stop before me. "I have made your favourite food as a reward. Shall we go home?"
"Wait!" Someone called to us both and I looked around, arching an eyebrow in surprise as one of the teachers came rushing towards us. "You can't go until you've had your photo taken, it's tradition! Come on, stand in front of the school with your sister, Sasuke, it's only once you graduate from the academy!" She was bubbly and very energetic, the complete opposite of Sasuke and I.
"This is annoying, do we have to?" Placing my hands upon his shoulders, I moved to stand behind Sasuke so that we were both in front of the school doors.
"If it is tradition, then we should follow the example of others. Will you at least smile, Sasuke?" He grumbled and agreed to at least stand still but refused to smile, not even a little bit. The teacher attempted to encourage Sasuke to lighten up a little, saying that it would be a shame to ruin such a lovely photo with such a moody expression. Tapping him lightly Sasuke looked up at me with a scowl, so I offered him an imploring expression. "For me?" He blinked at me, scowl faltering a little until finally, Sasuke conceded.
We both gave closed lipped smiles, but at least we looked serene and even a little happy, so I was content. When I received the photo, I immediately had it framed and placed it in the centre of the wall so that all would be able to see it if they ever came to visit. I was glad that we had followed tradition, as the memory of such an auspicious day was now captured forever within that photo frame. My only slight sadness was that Sasuke's real family had not been there with him, and furthermore, that his classmate Naruto had failed his examination and was unable to graduate with the rest of his class.
Shaking my head I returned to washing the dishes, going about my daily routine which had become like clockwork over the years. Very rarely did I deviate from my set schedule, and I enjoyed the calmness it brought me knowing that everything ran smoothly each and every single day. "Hey Yuki, is there anything I can do?" Sasuke asked me, hands in his pockets as he entered the kitchen. In response I gestured to the neatly arranged dishes which I had dried and needed putting away, so Sasuke set to work. We progressed in silence, as we did most days though I almost constantly glanced across to Sasuke. Was it healthy for a child his age to be so withdrawn? Had I unwittingly taught him my habit of keeping my emotions to myself and not opening up to others? Had I done a good job raising him? Would Mikoto be proud or upset with how Sasuke turned out? Was it all my fault? So many worries and concerns constantly circled around in my head until I was deafened by them, hardly able to focus.
"Yuki, you're daydreaming again." Sasuke poked me, bringing me back to reality. "That plate is clean. I'll dry it for you."
"Thank you." Passing it over to him, I glanced at Sasuke once more, only this time he exhaled sharply.
"How many more times are you going to keep on looking at me like that?" He asked me, looking a little irritated with me. "Is there something on my face?" I shook my head, biting on my lower lip a little nervously as I tried to think of what it was I wanted to say, because I wanted to say something, but expressing myself had never been one of my strong suits.
"You'll be going on missions soon." I started, making it sound like a blunt fact, which it was. "Be careful. Come home safe." Sasuke studied me for a long while, frowning deeply until finally, he relaxed.
"I get it, you're worried about me. You can't hide it from me, Yuki, no matter how much you try. Don't worry, we'll only be completing domestic missions for the time being, so maybe I'll see you around out there." That was comforting. If I had it my way then Sasuke would either stay at home where it was safe or he'd get a regular mundane type of job, where he would never have to expose himself to danger or ever get hurt. It was a huge risk to become a ninja, I knew it well, but I also knew that nothing would stop Sasuke. In short, he was obsessed with getting stronger, and sometimes when we had been training, he would lose all restraints and unleash his full strength on me.
If I weren't able to foresee his attacks, many times I might have been injured, but I had never been able to reproach Sasuke for it, for I never knew what words to say to him. Often my silence was my communication, little gestures or my consistency in my presence. I did not know if Sasuke still felt the same way as he had when we were younger, that I was as close as a sister and loved me completely, and I dreaded to think if after all that had happened, his feelings had changed. He had become colder, more distant with everyone around him, and I was the only one allowed close enough to ever see a small fraction of his feelings, no matter how reserved they may be.
"Sasuke, I…" Clamping my mouth shut, I turned back to the dishes and continued to wash them clean with a renewed sense of direction, desiring a distraction from all that tumbled within my head in a mass web of uncertainty. "It is late. You should get some rest." Sasuke stopped and looked at me but I merely continued, focusing on my task until finally he left the kitchen, going to his room and rather strongly closed his door. I was no good at this. Perhaps I am not meant to be a nurturing figure. If that is the case, then I think it best that I never have children of my own. How do I tell Sasuke that I want what is best for him without making it sound rehearsed? That was something that I found often, that even when I practised what I meant to say to someone, they would not believe me because I was unable to put emotion behind it.
Madara Uchiha, have you cursed me with emotionlessness? The Uchiha are meant to feel things far more intensely than any other human alive, but I can barely feel anything. As your descendant, surely one so powerful as you should have felt emotions in such drastic measure that they eclipsed all else? Why do I not feel the same? Confusing. Life was so utterly confusing to me. Pushing everything aside, I finished the dishes then put them away after they had dried, going then to dust and wash everything down so that nothing was out of place or had a single speck of dirt or dust remaining. I prided myself on my cleanliness, as my mother and Mikoto had done the very same.
It was late by the time I had finished, so I quietly crept towards Sasuke's room and opened the door, looking inside. The moonlight was shining inside through his window as the curtains had not been closed, allowing me to see him perfectly. He was neatly laid upon his bed, one hand tucked under his pillow where he no doubt was grasping a kunai knife to protect himself should he suddenly be attacked. Did he feel unsafe here? Surely Sasuke should know that there was nothing that could hurt him so long as I was here. He did not need to feel insecure. Stepping inside I drifted across his room, the single sleeve of my kimono rustling softly as the cool night air brushed against my other exposed arm.
Closing the curtains so that only a sliver of moonlight remained, I then went over to Sasuke and lifted the book he had been reading off of him, marking the page before then setting it upon his nightstand. He seemed far more peaceful when he was asleep, and I took a moment to admire his cuteness before then reaching out my hand. I brushed away the locks of hair upon his brow, then very slowly reached underneath his pillow. Sure enough he was holding a kunai, so I fished it out from his grasp without waking him then set it aside, worried he might accidentally cut himself whilst sleeping. Since when had he been sleeping in such a manner?
Not until recently, I would wager. I check on him every single night without fail and have never seen such a habit before. Exhaling a soft breath I leaned over Sasuke, drawing the cover up to his neck to keep him warm before then whispering to his sleeping form. "You are safe with me, Sasuke, so dream in peace." Then, in a completely impulsive action, I kissed Sasuke upon his cheek before drawing away and closing his bedroom door behind me. Then I went to my own room where I readied myself for sleep, knowing that in a few hours dawn would be here and I would wake up once more.
Perhaps I shall make pancakes for breakfast tomorrow. Would Sasuke enjoy pancakes? I was not certain, but he always ate whatever I made for him and I knew his tastes well. I think omelette would be preferable, so I shall go out early to buy fresh eggs, for fresh eggs are always far better tasting than anything else.