Kakashi was a very easy person to find as he had a rather simplistic schedule. By the time I was up and prepared, it was still early in the morning so I busied myself with the mending of Sasuke's clothes until it was a more reasonable hour. I knew he would be awake but he was yet to emerge from his room, so I left him to himself as I recalled what he had said the previous night about requiring more privacy now that he was older and no longer a dependent child. Once I deemed the hour socially acceptable, I folded away Sasuke's now mended clothes, left a note for him on the side then let myself out of the house.
The air was crisp and sharp still, but not entirely unpleasant. It was clean and fresh, giving me pause to inhale a deep lungful in order to appreciate the tranquillity of the morning before I then began to walk down the street. According to social rules, it was viewed as polite to bring a person a gift of some kind when asking for their time or visiting their house, so I shall follow this unspoken law and do the same. But what would make an appropriate gift? I knew very little about Kakashi, so I did not know his tastes as I did Sasuke's, which made it a little difficult for me at first.
Eventually I decided that a simple and small basket of fruit would not be a terrible choice. It was healthy and practical yet not too much, it was perfect. Settled on the idea, I purchased the fruit then made my way to Kakashi's house. It was traditional looking and very well kempt, as if a lot of care had been taken to keep it neat, tidy and clean. Even the yard was spotless and I took a moment to admire the meticulous attention to detail before I heard Kakashi approaching from inside. The door slid back and he rubbed his head, hair a little tousled but he was up and dressed, so I assumed I had not awoken him.
"Good morning Kakashi-san. I bring fruit." Bowing as I held out the basket, Kakashi laughed a little uneasily as he took it from me, thanking me for my thoughtfulness. Brushing aside his thanks, I stood up straight once more and looked him directly in the eye, my mind set on the questions I wished to ask him. "Is now a prudent time to talk?"
"I guess so, come in Miyuki-chan." Stepping aside to allow me through, I bowed once more before stepping over the threshold.
"I am coming in." The moment I was inside I removed my shoes and quickly ensured that I had not brought in dust or dirt from outside before I then followed Kakashi into one of the front rooms where a low table sat within a rather plain and simplistic room. There were a few scrolls hanging on the walls, a large window to allow plenty of light, a cupboard containing rather old looking chinaware, but little else.
"Please have a seat. Would you like something to drink?"
"Tea will be fine." Sitting myself down neatly I sat back on my legs with my shoulders brought up, waiting as Kakashi went to fetch the tea. My long white hair tickled my neck as a few shorter strands came loose from the ponytail I had tied in the middle of my back but I ignored it, remaining still until Kakashi came back.
"So what was it you wanted to talk about?"
"Sasuke." I had thought I had already mentioned the subject of which I wanted to speak, but perhaps Kakashi has already forgotten. Sasuke had mentioned once or twice that his team leader was always late to meet even after he had arranged the times, so perhaps he was a little absent minded like I was or was simply disorganised in his thoughts.
"Yes…what about Sasuke in particular?" Oh I see, he had been waiting for me to begin.
"I would like to request your advice. Sasuke is of an age where I no longer fully understand him. You are a man who went through puberty, what can you tell me of it?" Kakashi, had he been drinking the tea which I now sipped, would probably have spat it all out at the directness of my address. He spluttered on air and coughed, going a little red in the face where I could see the tint of his skin.
"That is-I mean-why do you…it is difficult to explain." He stammered, scratching his head awkwardly and now refused to meet my gaze, looking off towards the wall which was blank. What intrigued him so much about the wall? There was nothing there to look at, so why...? Oh, I see. It is like last night with Sasuke, I have unwittingly embarrassed him. Feeling guilty I lowered my head a little, clenching my fingers into the fabric of my clothes as I attempted to make amends.
"Forgive me, I do not mean to be frank." I murmured quietly, feeling oddly warm at my cheeks. "I find it difficult to interact properly with others, I apologise for making you uncomfortable." Beginning to rise to my feet, I thought it best if I simply left to save myself from any further humiliation, but Kakashi reached out and stopped me with a rather kind and understanding voice, inviting me to sit down and stay a while.
"You simply surprised me, that's all. Let me guess, you are worried about Sasuke because he has been growing distant of late, wanting to stay in his room most of the time and when he is not in his room, he goes and trains by himself. Also, he may be showing signs of aloofness, distancing himself from you which is unlike his old behaviour." I quickly sat back down, amazed at how accurately Kakashi was able to pinpoint my concerns.
"Amazing Kakashi-san, you must be very wise!" My eyes brightened a little and I allowed myself a sigh of relief, glad to find that there was at least someone out there who understood. "Tell me, is there anything I can do?"
"Well, Sasuke carries a lot of weight on his mind, and after the traumatic experience he witnessed four years ago, it was expected that his personality would change. It is nothing you have done, Miyuki-chan, so you should not be worried." Kakashi explained to me before beckoning with a hand. "Come, tell me more of your worries. I shall listen to anything you need to say." Nodding my head, I listed off everything that Sasuke had either done or said which had confused me, and Kakashi did his best to explain the meaning behind the words or actions.
When he summarised everything, I felt as if a large weight had been lifted off my chest. "So, it was like that." Allowing myself to relax, my eyes closed a little so that I could think of Sasuke with a little more understanding that I had possessed earlier that morning.
"I apologise if this sounds rude or harsh, Miyuki-chan, but do you struggle to convey your feelings to even Sasuke?" Kakashi asked me, bringing me to lift my head and blink at him blankly. "It's just my own observations, but it seems that you always prefer to keep everything you feel to yourself. Perhaps it would do Sasuke some good if you were to tell him how you care. Showing your feelings can be beneficial to both yourself and those around you."
"Thank you for your instruction, Kakashi-san." Bowing to the floor formally as a means to properly demonstrate my gratitude, I then straightened myself back up in order to face him. "If I may, I shall take my leave now."
"Sure, I'll show you out." If Kakashi had found this entire conversation strange he did not let it show, politely leading the way to the door and opening it for me as I put my shoes back on. "Let me know if there is anything else you wish to discuss Miyuki-chan, I'll be glad to help." Stopping at the gate I turned to bow a final time, not saying anything further as I was deeply wrapped up in my own thoughts. I had learned a great deal from Kakashi about young boys growing into their adolescence, so I felt far more comfortable now than I had done before.
Of course, I knew that another means to properly learn what Sasuke was feeling was to ask him directly, however I feel I have taught him bad habits and that he would not open up to me if I asked. Kakashi had helpfully given me a list of things which I could do in order to wordlessly show my affections, including but not limited to; head patting, shoulder rubbing, embracing, teasing knocks on the head or on the arm, sisterly kisses, hand holding and poking. All were forms of physical contact in some manner or the other, but I was curious to learn which Sasuke would be willing to accept as he had demonstrated recently a rather stoic displeasure in any form of physical contact. He preferred to keep his own distance, but I was determined to at least show him in some manner that I cared for him deeply, as it was possible that I had not expressed myself properly to him despite the fact that I knew perfectly well that Sasuke was important to me.
Now that I think about it, I recall Itachi used to poke Sasuke on the forehead all the time. It appeared to be something that only the two of them shared together, but it had always made Sasuke smile in the past. Perhaps that is something I could try? Like I had said. There was much to think about, I just wish that it were so easy to understand as logic.