Running as fast as I could, I raced up the steps to the guildhall then flung open the doors with a slight crash. "Wait! Hold up, did I miss it? Did I miss the S-Class selections? Who made the listing this year? Did I…?"
"Don't even dream about it. There's no way you were ever going to make the short list, not after your screw ups this year." Someone waved me off as I walked past and instantly my face fell. They were kidding right? I had I arrived too late? People were already walking away from the stage with a mixture of expressions, some disappointed like Alzack and others with anticipation, so I walked forwards and looked around. Cana had already vanished, as had most of the others, however when I spotted Lucy I went towards her.
"Hey, Lucy, could you tell me who made it to the S-Class trials this year? I only got back from my last job so I missed the announcement." I asked her a little nervously, tapping her shoulder and she quickly turned around.
"Oh, hi Zera! Great to see you. Yeah they just finished announcing everything, Natsu and Gray got in, isn't that great?" Bright and vibrant, Lucy gave me all eight candidates and I was crushed that my name wasn't among them. "And not only that, but they have to select a partner to go through the trial with them. Has that happened before?"
"Um…yes, a few times. Sorry Lucy, but I need to go and find Cana. Did you see where she went?" Turns out, no one knew where Cana was or which direction she had left the guild in, so I went for my usual tactic of searching through every single pub in Magnolia after my tracking spell failed. I was well acquainted with each and every one of them by this point as I had gone looking for Cana at times like this many times before. The bar staff knew her by name and reputation for drinking all of their alcohol and I'd be the one to collect her and bring her home usually, however tonight I couldn't find her anywhere. None of the bars had seen her, so I then went to all the liquor stores and asked them if they had seen her, as they too were well acquainted with Cana's drinking habits.
I managed to find out which store she had bought from, but that had been hours ago. "Damn it Cana." Gritting my teeth, I held out my hand to requip my Huntress atire, intending to try tracking her down with my magic but just like before, it failed. Cana must be using her card magic to block mine, using an untraceable spell in order to hide herself away completely. "Where are you? Please don't make me look for you all night." Raising my hands to my mouth, I called out Cana's name, hoping that she would at least answer me. I checked the parks, the alleys, absolutely everywhere but still I found nothing.
Soon enough it was early in the morning and the frost had settled in deep with a thick blanket of snow covering the entire city, unmarked save for my footprints which broke the even layer as I continued to walk around, looking for my best friend. I went back to Fairy Hills several times to see if she had returned to her room but had no luck there either, so I continued to remain worried for the entire night until in the morning, I watched the sun rise up over the buildings whilst still walking through the snow. "Cana…Cana…when I get hold of you…I'll kill you…"
"Huh? Zera?"
"Lucy?" Recognising the voice, I stopped and turned around to see Lucy wearing a thick winter coat with a back slung over one shoulder stylishly. Feeling rather exhausted, I rubbed my eyes and walked over to her. "Good morning Lucy, sleep well?"
"Have you been out here all night?!"
"I was looking for Cana. She usually ends up drinking way too much around this time, even for her, and passing out somewhere. I've been looking for her all night and I'm really worried. Usually I can find her, but she wasn't in any of her usual spots. You haven't seen her have you?" Lucy stared at me with large brown orbs.
"Cana stayed with me last night after I found her passed out in an alley, so she's okay. Jeez Zera, you could have frozen to death out here. You're not even wearing winter clothes, what the heck's wrong with you?! You need to go home and get warm right now before you catch cold!" She fussed, pointing at my shorts, long boots and exposed torso which was only covered by a cloak and I blinked down at myself.
"Oh don't worry, I've cast a thermal enchantment on myself so that I can stay warm." Exhaling with relief, I gave a tired smile. "But I'm glad Cana's alright, I apologise that she imposed on you and caused trouble, thank you so much for taking care of her." I bowed my head gratefully, making Lucy blush and quickly wave a hand.
"No it was no bother at all, don't even worry about it. She told me the reason why she was acting all weird, because her dad…um…do you know about that?" Still smiling, I nodded my head.
"Yeah, I know about Gildarts. Cana told me about it a long time ago. Quite frankly I'm glad she's opened up to someone else about it finally, I've been worried she was going to keep that to herself for the rest of her life or something." Exhaling, I rubbed my face and pushed back the spiked strands of my hair from my face as my golden hoops dangled from my ears and glinted in the morning sunlight. "You're really kind, Lucy. Cana must really trust you if she opened up like that."
"Oh well I don't know, I mean I just asked and she came out with it because I wouldn't let it drop, so technically it was my fault she ended up telling me…" Lucy babbled on bashfully, making me feel a warmth from inside. Lucy had such a compassionate and caring heart, she was like a warm ray of sunshine when you stood next to her, almost as if she had the ability to fill you up with only the best feelings and emotions. "But anyway, since Cana needed a partner for the S-Class trials, I told her that I would do my very best to help her make it to S-Class wizard, so I'll be sure to keep on doing all I can to help. You can count on me." In shock, I blinked and pulled back.
"Wait, what? Cana's already chosen you to be her partner?" For a moment, a jealous sting of hurt pricked at my chest but I thrust it aside, forcing myself to smile. "Well I'm glad, that's good. I know you two will make a great team together. I'll be cheering for you both." Feeling awkward, I pulled my shoulder back, intending to turn around. "In that case, I think I'll sleep for a few hours. See you around Lucy!"
"Take care! I hope you don't catch a cold!" She called after me so I lifted my hand and waved as I walked, taking such firm strides that my cloak rippled behind me and for a moment, Lucy could see my blazing red Fairy Tail insignia upon my back, sitting proudly upon my skin a few inches above the rim of my shorts. Slightly in a daze, I hardly knew what to think. I had always been Cana's partner, we were best of friends, but did I have the right to be jealous or upset by the fact that she had agreed to Lucy's offer before I even got the chance to offer her my help? I shouldn't feel this way, I hate feeling this way, but somehow I just couldn't help it. I knew that it was wrong to feel jealous of my own friends, but recently I had begun to feel these emotions rather strongly. Envy was acidic to the taste and it burned the inside of my mouth, so I took in a deep, cleansing breath and tried to eradicate it.
By the time I got back to Fairy Hills, I wasn't even tired anymore so I went straight to Cana's room and when I knocked, she opened the door as if she had been there the entire night. Her hair was dishevelled from sleeping, she was wearing her usual bikini top and a pair of bed shorts and she had a bottle of whiskey in one hand. "Cana, I was worried about you. How are you feeling?"
"Fine I guess. I mean, I knew this was going to happen." She shrugged, turning around and knocking the door open with her foot so that I could follow her inside. "This is the last shot I'll ever have. If I don't make it to S-Class wizard this time, then I'm quitting Fairy Tail for good. I mean it this time."
"You say that every year Cana, and every year you change your mind." I said to her as I smiled, walking inside and dropping myself down onto one of her couches once I'd picked up the empty bottles and placed them elsewhere. "But you sound like you really mean it this time, Cana. Is there anything you need to talk about?"
"No, Lucy talked with me last night so I feel a little better. She even let me crash with her, so I'm going to just focus on some training and work on team tactics. By next week, we'll be the perfect team and we'll take that trial by storm." Cana said confidently however I could still hear a lingering sense of doubt in her voice. "If I don't make it this year…I'll never be able to face him and tell him who I am."
"You know, it's not going to matter whether you're an S-Class wizard or not. The fact that you're Gildarts' daughter doesn't change. He's not going to care what your rank is, how many quests you've completed or anything like that. I imagine he'll just be happy to get to know the real you, right?" I tried to persuade her however Cana just gave me a dark look.
"You don't understand Zera! Gildarts is the greatest wizard in Fairy Tail, he's an S-Class wizard, in fact, he's probably an SS-Class wizard by now. If I walked up to him now and told him that I'm his kid, he'd just laugh! I have to be stronger, I just have to be, otherwise I'll never be able to look him in the eye, I want him to be proud of me!" Cana gushed suddenly, letting it all out at once so I pulled back, my smile fading as I struggled to think how to answer that. Hissing slightly through her teeth, Cana grabbed at the whiskey and quickly drained half of it in one gulp.
"Cana…Gildarts isn't like that. He's…very affectionate, I don't think it'll matter to him at all…"
"What do you know? You don't even have parents, so how would you know the pressure of being the child of someone as powerful as Gildarts Clive?" Cana cut me off and I flinched, knowing that she was right but at the same time, she was also wrong. I may not know what it's like to try and live up to the expectation of your parents, but I did know what it was like to fall below the expectations of an entire guild, even my sister. I was always being compared to her, and it drove me near enough insane every time I was considered weak and incapable. All I wanted was to be able to at least stand at Erza's level. I still wanted her recognition more than anything else in the world. "Sorry, that was harsh."
"It's okay, I know you're stressed." I waved it off dismissively, choosing to just forget about it. "I should know by now that you're not going to change your mind about this, so I'm going to cheer for you as best I can and support you in any way you need. I'll have your back Cana, you can count on that." Giving her a brave smile, I stuck up my thumb to try and cheer her up a little. "This year you're going to make it to S-Class, I just know it!"
"Thanks, I appreciate the support." Finally she smiled a little, relaxing as she took another swig of her drink. "Sorry you didn't make it this year. I know you tried your best, how did your last job go?" Instantly my eyes brightened, a surge of pride and enthusiasm coming over me as I surged forwards.
"It was amazing! I didn't screw up once Cana, I actually completed a request without any mistakes all on my own, so I got paid in full and the client even told me I did a good job. I got all the information he needed just by listening in on a few conversations without getting caught. I was so happy, I didn't stop grinning all the way home." Linking my fingers together I stretched upwards to loosen my muscles, trying to relax a little more as I then slumped back into the sofa. "Ah…I hurried back to the guild as fast as I could, but I guess it just wasn't enough this time around. Still, maybe now that I've found something that I can do pretty well, I can try and aim for similar jobs, or maybe even my luck will change and I'll start doing better on jobs."
"Way to go, I'm proud of you Zee. That's the first job you've pulled off on your own at this level in what…three years?"
"Four. Last time, I was hunting a Danger Beast that had started to destroy through the rural villages on the coast. It took me three weeks to take it down, but I managed it." Smiling to myself, I savoured that sweet sense of victory which I rarely felt for myself. "Remember when I came back and no one believed me when I told them I'd killed it? They all thought I was making it up."
"Yeah I remember. Bunch of idiots, you don't need to waste your time on those ignorant bums." Cana said to me with a slight slur to her voice, starting to get a little drunk once again. "Sure you mess up, but you never give up without a fight and that's what counts. Besides, you always try your best, and you're great at support magic. Though I suppose now that Wendy is here, you're not the only one who can provide that kind of support, and she's also really advanced with that kind of magic too…meh." Shrugging it off, Cana drank deeply once again. "The little critter has spunk, I wouldn't be surprised if master puts her in for S-Class in a few years."
"Yeah, Wendy is growing up so fast, but I'm happy she's not actually growing, because she's so cute and sweet just the way she is. Her pigtails are also very adorable, she lets me brush and play with her hair sometimes, it's very soft." I hugged myself with a dopy grin, thinking about all the cuteness in our guild, from Wendy to our flying cats. "I wish my hair was that soft."
"Well if you treated it better, maybe it would be. You're always cutting it back and not letting it grow." Pointing to my head, Cana sprawled herself over her bed as she kicked up her feet. "Why'd you always keep it short anyway?"
"Because it's easier to shoot without my hair falling in my face all the time." I responded naturally. It was the same response I gave to everyone who ever asked, though in reality, it was because I wanted to look different from my sister. Erza was extremely stern faced and battle hardened, however she was also extremely girly. Since I was her twin, I felt that it was important for us to have separate identities, so even though I also liked cute and girly things, I always pulled back and restrained myself, though I often wasn't successful.
"Guess that makes sense." Not asking any further questions, Cana gave a loud yawn. "I don't wanna train today…but Lucy made me promise I'd get to work right away. I just wanna sleep."
"Oh that's right, I ran into Lucy this morning and she told me that you two were partnering up." I recalled, growing a little distant and sad. "It's going to be strange, not going to the S-Class trial with you as your partner. It was nice of Lucy to say she'd help you, and she's got loads of Celestial Spirits to help you guys out, so you'll be able to face pretty much any situation that's thrown your way." Gripping onto my arm a little tighter, I gazed off into the distance whilst looking at the floor. "She's pretty smart too, full of energy and spirit. You guys will make a great team."
"Yeah, Lucy sure is something else. That girl has more Fairy Tail heart than most of us put together, if not all of us. I have a good feeling about this year." Cana agreed so I glanced up at her. The question lingered on the tip of my mouth, wanting to ask her why she didn't want me to go with her this year, but I held it back. "Something wrong?"
"No, no it's just…" I paused, considering for a moment before tentatively pushing forwards. "It's just that I thought you'd ask me to partner with you, that's all. Quite honestly I was a little surprised when Lucy told me you two were going to team up this morning. I know she's almost been here a year and she's a dedicated member of the guild, but I just…I wanted to…"
"What? Just because we're friends doesn't mean we have to be conjoined at the hip, you know." Cana drawled with a distinct slur as she drained the last of the whiskey then replaced the bottle with a fresh one. "You're not my only friend, Zee."
"I know that, but we've always been together on jobs and on the trials, I've always had your back. Last time, we were so close." Gritting her teeth at me, Cana grew irate and sprung from her bed, bottle in one hand whilst the other was placed on her hip.
"I lost that year because you set off the traps when you fell over! If it hadn't been for you, I might already be an S-Class wizard by now, maybe this time I'll actually have a shot because I'll have Lucy with me and not you!" She yelled at me, the alcohol making her tongue loose and her emotions way too overheated. "Besides, it's not like I'm obligated to choose you or anything, don't get all upset. This isn't playground politics." Stuttering in surprise, I tried to form a response but failed terribly, shocked by her sudden outburst. Did Cana really feel that way?
"Cana…calm down, you must still be drunk from the alcohol you drank last night and drinking again won't help…" I tried to walk over and gently take the bottle from her, wanting to help however Cana snatched it back and pointedly drained the entire bottle, drinking it all before tossing it away. "Cana!"
"You're not the boss of me, I can drink as much as I like!" Sticking out her tongue, Cana staggered towards her wardrobe and flung open the doors to pull out a bottle of wine this time. Oh no, not wine, wine affects her the worst! "I'm going to drink, sleep, then I'll train later."
"Stop it Cana, you've drunk way too much already, you're going to kill your liver if carry on like this." I attempted reaching for the bottle again but Cana pulled it out of my reach and angled herself away from me. "Cana! Quit it already!"
"Shut up! I can drink all I want! Stop messing with my business, Zera, it's nothing to do with you anyway. Go sulk somewhere else if you're so upset, just leave me alone and quit getting in my face." Growing angry, I quickly pulled back and folded my arms.
"Fine. But don't complain to me when you end up sleeping through until tomorrow and missing out on training. It's not my problem, you're right. Go ahead and wallow in self-pity if it makes you feel better, it's not like I'm your best friend or anything and I'm trying to help." It was rare for Cana and I to argue, but when we did it was always pretty bad. I don't get what her problem was, I mean, personally I think she was overthinking all of this way too much and I hated the way she had a tendency to lash out at other people when she was in a mood. Whatever, I'm going to bed. I don't care anymore. I'm tired and feel like I'm about to burst into tears, so I'm not going to give her the satisfaction of letting her see just how much her words hurt.