Chapter 17

During the week before Christmas, Tonks received a most unwelcome message. She was to take the next day off and spend it sleeping, because from the twenty third until the twenty seventh, she would work from four pm until six am every night.

"Oh, did I forget to tell you about junior auror duties over the festive season?" Proudfoot sniggered at Tonks's dismayed expression. "Don't worry, you'll be in good company: I'm still junior enough to be rostered on, as well."

Tonks made a face at him, but quickly relented, and asked: "is it mayhem?"

"Yeah but mostly stupid shit," said Proudfoot. "The grunts handle most of the arrests. We get called in for chases, interviewing in time-sensitive matters, big brawls…"

"So what, we just drop the Jackson case? And Touré?" Tonks asked irritably. "Just forget about the maniac using the cruciatus curse on small time poachers, and the healer who was probably kidnapped by Death Eaters?"

"None of our intel suggests Black would have abducted Touré," Proudfoot said, frowning. "The main worry with Touré is what she might do to other people - especially muggleborns. She seems quite disturbed."

"She hasn't actually hurt anyone, though," said Tonks. "She's just got a sad story."

"Yeah, but she's a parselmouth," said Proudfoot, as though he was reminding Tonks that the woman was a known Death Eater.

"You think she'd try to join the Death Eaters?" Tonks asked.

"I think the Death Eaters are all but gone, Tonks," said Proudfoot, suddenly stern. "I've been thinking for quite some time that you're barking up the wrong tree with that idea."

Pick your battles Tonks reminded herself, squashing the bubbling anger and letting the half-formed retort die on the tip of her tongue.

"I suppose I'm jumpy because it looks like none of us have any control over the dementors," said Tonks quietly.

"You and me both," admitted Proudfoot, seemingly glad that she'd desisted. "Letting them off Azkaban was a mistake."

Her subtle propaganda mission wasn't a lost cause, she realised. Proudfoot was close to realising that the Ministry was engaged in a cover up.

And a day off tomorrow? Brace yourself, Remus, she thought to herself, there might just be a silver lining in all this.

"What have you got to smile about?" Proudfoot asked suspiciously. "You're not getting a Christmas, you realise?:

"All the extra time I'll be spending with my favourite colleague," Tonks muttered drily. But she smiled, all the same - and so did he.

When Tonks arrived home that night, she quickly penned a note for Remus:

Wotcher Remus, got the day off tomorrow. Let's catch up?

She attached the note to Tango, and opened the curtains ready to launch him into the night sky.

The big, beautiful full moon was cut with ominous streaks of raincloud.

Rolling her eyes, she removed the note from Tango and sent him off hunting instead. She'd have to be more careful of the calendar.

****break****

Undeterred by the lunar cycle, Tonks set off for Grimmauld Place at midday the next day, after a quick strength and conditioning session with her spelled weight plates (never any need for more than two per barbell). She wasn't just dropping in on Remus, she reminded herself - she actually needed to catch up with him, if only to give him the bad news that she still hadn't made sense of the death eaters' apothecary purchases. She shrunk her notebook and stuffed it in her coat pocket

As she barged in through the front door, Sirius greeted her with something of a smirk.

"Nymph-a-dor-a!" Sirius boomed, surprisingly cheerful.

She paused for a fraction of a second, feeling a wave of guilt when she realised he was in fact sober.

"Come to visit your favourite second cousin, I'm sure," said Sirius, with a wink.

"How come you're so cheerful?" Tonks asked suspiciously.

"The sun is shining, the birds are singing," said Sirius, gesturing first at the doormat onto which Tonks was dripping rainwater, from her short stint on the doorstep, and then at a mummified dodo in a cage tucked under his arm. "Harry and the Weasleys are here for Christmas. Under awful circumstances, of course - I don't mean to make light of Arthur's attack. Still, the place is a lot less miserable with company."

Tonks winced like she'd teaspooned branston pickle straight from the jar. She'd neglected her cousin - she had intended to spend more time at Grimmauld, but between her workload at the auror office and stealing precious time alone with Remus, she'd never got round to it.

"So, what brings you here? If it's more top secret Order business with Moony, I'm afraid he might not be up to it," Sirius said, suddenly shrewd. Then he rolled his eyes, mischief returning to them at once and washing away their manic gleam. "That's why you're here, isn't it? Checking up on him after the full moon?"

Tonks was embarrassed to admit Sirius'd credited her with too much attentiveness to Remus's situation. She'd forgotten about the moon until she saw it the night before. Somehow, she knew she'd never pass another full moon in blissful ignorance again.

"Is he alright?" Tonks asked casually, not taking the bait.

"He's seen worse morning after's," Sirius shrugged.

Once again relying on her 'rip it off' approach, Tonks marched up to Remus's bedroom and banged on the door.

A quiet "hello?" floated through the door.

Tonks barged in, before he could have second thoughts.

His face was a bit scratched, his arm was bandaged and there were dark circles under his eyes.

"Rough night?" Tonks asked, then wished she hadn't spoken.

He grimaced.

She was conscious of how awkward she must look, hovering at the foot of his bed.

"I got the day off," she said. "So I thought I'd come over."

"I'm not really up to going out," he said tiredly, but he was smiling.

"That's alright - do you want me to get you anything?" Tonks asked, blushing.

"No, but thank you for checking up on me," he said, slightly awkwardly. "Why do you have the day off?"

"Christmas duties," she said, with an exaggerated eye roll. "I'm working nights - four to six - from tomorrow until the day after boxing day."

"This will sound unconvincing coming from a man spending the day in bed, but sometimes I envy you your proper job," Remus admitted.

"You'd have made a good auror," she mused. "Shame you couldn't be one. Pretty outrageous, actually."

He smiled weakly. "Have I ever told you that you think far too highly of me?"

"Dunno, probably wasn't listening," she replied, toeing her boots off and resettling herself cross-legged on his bed.

"With all the, er, excitement after your birthday," began Remus, blushing delightfully at the exaggerated stage wink Tonks threw him, "I never did get around to asking if you discovered anything about those potions ingredients."

"Not really!" Tonks huffed, wrinkling her nose. "I just don't understand it. I borrowed a stack of books from Snape - with potion recipes that would turn your stomach, by the way - but they didn't help."

"Er, can I see your notes?" Remus asked. "Not that I'll be better placed to make sense of them, but-" he broke off as she began to chuckle.

"Here," she said, deliberately brushing her hand against his as she handed them over. Seeing him tucked up in bed was doing little for her concentration.

Death Eater Potions Club

Ingredients Purchased

Dragon's liver - doxycide and healing potion

Stewed mandrake - mandrake restorative draught (for someone petrified by basilisk), Wiggenweld (healing) potion, Oculus (eyesight restoration) potion, memory potion

Bubotuber puss - acne removal, fake protective potions, healing potion.

Syrup of Hellebore - draught of peace, volublis potion (changes drinker's voice), potion no 86 (experimental poison).

Flobberworm Mucus - herbicide, cure for boils, wiggenweld, sleeping draught

Horklump Juice - herbicide, wiggenweld

Unicorn Horn - antidote to common poisions, wiggenweld, occulus, draught of peace

Chizpurfle Fangs - wiggenweld

Porcupine Quills - cure for boils, euphoria elixir, hair raising potion and the draught of peace

Lionfish Spines - herbicide, wiggenweld

Salamander Blood - strengthening solution, fire protection potion, wiggenweld

Snowdrops - Exstimulo Potion (enhances the power of a spell), memory potion

Sloth brain mucus - living death, wiggenweld

Moondew - living death, common poisons, wiggenweld

Powdered Moonstone - amortentia (love potion) and draught of peace (anti-anxiety potion)

Wiggentree Bark - wiggenweld

Aconite - wolfsbane potion, wideye potion

Powdered sage - memory potion

Jobberknoll feathers - veritaserum, memory potion

Billywig Stings - wiggenweld, wideye potion, antidote to uncommon poisons, hair-raising potion

Boom Berry juice - wiggenweld

Moly - wiggenweld

Gillyweed

Human and animal de-wormer?

Anti-tick Tonic

"Here's what I put together the other weekend," said Tonks, thumbing to another page of her notebook.

Potions Appearing Twice or More

Wiggenweld - Wiggentree bark, Moly, Dittany , One pint of Horklump juice, 2 drops of Flobberworm Mucus, 7 Chizpurfle fangs, Billywig sting slime, a sprig of mint , Boom Berry juice, one stewed Mandrake, drops of Honeywater, Sloth brain Mucus, Moondew drops, Salamander blood, 10 Lionfish spines, Unicorn horn, Wolfsbane.

Healing Potion: bubotuber puss, dittany , dragon liver and wormwood .

Memory Potion: Snowdrops, jobberknoll feathers, powdered sage and stewed mandrake.

Sleeping Draught : flobberworm mucus, lavender , "standard ingredient" or herb mix , and valerian sprigs .

Draught of Peace : powdered moonstone, powdered porcupine quills, powdered unicorn horn, syrup of hellebore and valerian root .

Living Death: powdered asphodel root , wormwood , valerian root , sopophorous bean , sloth brain mucus, moondew

Hair-Raising Potion : rat tails , porcupine quills, billywig stings

Herbicide: flobberworm mucus, horklump juice, lionfish spines, standard ingredient (herb mix)

Oculus: wormwood , unicorn horn, stewed mandrake

Antidote to Common Poisons : bezoar , standard ingredient (herb mix) , unicorn horn, mistletoe berries

"It looks like an infirmary," Remus admitted. "I know I was sceptical at first, but it is difficult to reach any other conclusion."

"Snape's books kept rabbiting on about how any potion ingredient can be used for good or evil - and then giving me lists of dark potions full of creepy stuff. Not a unicorn horn in sight," Tonks said.

"Hair-raising potion is incongruous, being as its only purpose is to provide amusement" Remus said, mouth twitching.

Tonks went to swat him, but thought better of it on seeing his scratches.

"The whole list is bizarre, Remus," Tonks mused. "Like how Carrow bought masses of gillyweed, which really is almost useless for everything except breathing underwater. And according to Snape's books it's only ever used in potions in minuscule quantities."

"Why?" Remus asked.

"Cos it stops you breathing," she replied.

He released an involuntary bark of laughter at the simplicity of her point, and let his arm settle around her shoulders. She let her head rest on his chest, silently cheering.

"Maybe we'll just have to take what we've got to Dumbledore," she said halfheartedly.

"But you sincerely wish you'd solved the riddle?" Remus asked almost rhetorically, glancing across at her.

"Yeah, I feel like there's something big we're not seeing," she said, taking the opportunity to shift closer to him.

"Well, read up on it for a little longer. In fact, I'll read up on it - you are much too busy with real work," he said. "If we've got nowhere by mid January, we'll give up and take it to Dumbledore."

"He may just have to ask Snape," Tonks said.

"Severus would be delighted by our failure, I'm sure," said Remus mildly.

"Weirdest thing - he wasn't a complete bastard about giving me the books," said Tonks.

"I expect he already knows all about our task and he gave you the wrong books on purpose," said Remus.

"Dumbledore seemed to think he didn't know of any potions project," said Tonks.

"He may have kept the information from Dumbledore," replied Remus grimly.

They chatted some more, and Tonks was surprised to realise that darkness had fallen.

Casting a charm, she realised it was nearly five.

"I suppose I should head off," said Tonks, making no move to leave.

"Of course," said Remus. He didn't move, either.

Tonks took a deep breath, and spoke before her courage deserted her: "do you want me to stay?"

"Yes," he said.

The uncertainty of the afternoon began to melt away.

"Well, er," he began, then trailed off. "Tonks, I do want you to stay, truly. But for me, this is all uncharted territory."

*****break*****

Tonks was surreptitiously watching Remus cleaning his teeth in his little ensuite bathroom. She basked in the normalcy of the activity; her fantasies didn't feature details like these (paradoxically unexpected due to their very mundanity).

She noticed, with some amusement, that he was wearing full length pyjamas and carrying a book as he drew back the covers to get into bed. She had showered (alone, regrettably), borrowed one of his shirts,and transfigured a pair of his boxers into high-cut knickers, which left all of her thighs and good slice of her arse exposed. He offered her a book, and she accepted. She didn't really plan on reading, but she was aware that it might be all that was on the menu for that night.

She tucked herself into bed next to him (ensuring his t shirt rode up and revealed her hips and arse in the process) and lay close to him but not touching.

Time for you to make some moves, if you want it, she thought.

After a frustratingly long time - probably five minutes, if Tonks was being honest with herself - he shifted onto his side, transferred the book to the hand nearest the bed, and reached out with the other, under the covers, to stroke her arm.

She put the book down immediately, turned onto her side and slung her top leg over his waist. He kissed her soundly, and she ran her fingers through his hair.

In very little time, he was flat on his back, hands splayed against her arse as she straddled him, her torso pressed against his. She felt his erection against her, pressing against her knickers, pulling the fabric tight and causing it to apply delicious jolts of pressure everywhere between her legs. Her hips started moving automatically. One of his hands left her arse and travelled up her back, hugging her to him.

She was quivering with anticipation and she knew he'd feel how wet her knickers were.

He flipped them over, and knelt between her widely spread thighs. She knew he must have noticed the glaze to her eyes and the flush to her face and neck. She wasn't embarrassed by her obvious arousal - the thought of him realising how turned on she was only excited her more.

"You're enjoying this?" he asked. His voice sounded breathier than usual, and she was pleased to see that she wasn't the only one enjoying it.

She nodded emphatically, and giggled.

"Knickers off?" He ventured.

"Yes," she gasped, arching her back a bit more.

He hooked his fingers under the top of the leg holes and yanked her knickers off. One of his hands rested on her thigh, the other ventured down to stroke her inner lips. She was spread so wide, she realised with a bit of a thrill, that he didn't need to part her outer ones.

She shivered and moaned as he explored her, feeling her hips involuntarily rise and buck. This prompted him to move a wet index finger up to her clit, and circle it. She shrieked.

"Damn," he exclaimed, drawing back. "Where's my wand?"

"Contraception or silencing?" She chuckled shakily, closing her legs and propping herself up on her elbows.

As she did so, she caught sight of herself in the mirror and was surprised just how pink her mouth and cheeks had turned. Her mouth looked great, all full-lipped, pouty and rosy. She wondered if she'd subconsciously morphed a bit, or if this was just what she looked like when she was really horny.

He answered her, having found his wand, by casting a hasty silencing charm.

"We won't need a contraceptive today, Nymph-er- Tonks," he said hastily.

She wanted to ask why, but felt the question would make her sound like a lecherous nymphomaniac, who lived up to her awful first name entirely too well. But it did seem bizarre that a man would take his time stroking her pussy, only to decline sex.

"Right," she said awkwardly, marvelling at her unique ability to ruin the moment.

When his hands returned to her nether regions, she realised she wasn't as wet as before and inwardly cursed the fickleness of her arousal.

He rubbed her clit too fast, and she was just about to tell him as much, but the knowledge that she wasn't going to come that night, no matter what he did, stopped her. There was really no point in constructive criticism, she decided.

When she began reaching for his obvious erection, though, he stopped her.

"You…er…don't want me to..?" She asked, sounding ridiculous even to her own ears.

"Not today," he mumbled, not quite meeting her eyes.

"Is everything alright?" She asked.

"I don't think I could give you a decent…er…performance today," he said.

"You don't have to," she said. "You can just relax and enjoy."

Is he seriously telling me he doesn't want a blowjob? She wondered.

"Let's just sleep," he said, pulling her in for a snuggle.

She kissed him, assuring him (truthfully) that she didn't usually come the first time with someone new. He mumbled an apology, but spooned her to sleep kissing the back of her neck and shoulders, all the same.

*****break*****

She awoke ridiculously wet and unclothed below the waist, aware of a tall man snuggled up to her back, his hands under her t shirt.

Under his T shirt.

Last night's events came flooding back, and she felt an odd mix of triumph and defeat. Her relationship with Remus was very clearly sexual, which was something she'd wanted for a long time. But he was being weird about sex, which, she reflected, shouldn't ever have surprised her. Of course he was sexually awkward.

She wondered if she'd rushed him a little too much.

You didn't take your own knickers off, she reminded herself. She'd wanted him to - but he was the one who'd suggested it. She hadn't cuddled up to him first, at least not once they were actually in bed.

But she had asked to stay, in the first place.

She shifted out from his grasp without waking him, morphing herself ridiculously thin and narrow in order to do so. She was inexplicably both relieved and somewhat put out that he didn't wake. She found the knickers and jeans she'd been wearing yesterday and pulled them back on, then let herself out of his room. She doubted the kitchen at grimmauld place would be empty, and she didn't particularly want to see anyone on what she felt sure was an obvious walk of shame, but she needed coffee.

Just then, she heard an odd sound coming from one of the derelict rooms. She paused, wondering if her sleepy, caffeine-craving bran was playing tricks on her.

She heard a distinct thump.

Wand at the ready, she nudged the door open with her foot.

Nothing could have prepared her for the sight that greeted her.

In the middle of the room stood a tall, gaunt woman in the threadbare grey robe of an Azkaban inmate, her face skeletal and her greying dark hair falling to her waist in dreadlocks.

It was Bellatrix, her aunt.