I felt myself come to, returning to the land of the living with bleary eyes. I rubbed a particularly strained eye to get the sensation of itchiness out of it while letting out a yawn and stretching all the while. The first thing that entered my view was a transparent box lined with text.

An Ordeal will begin shortly.

Hm? What's this? I began looking around for anyone else, whether it be Vincent, Mikah, or even George's body.

It wouldn't be surprising if a corpse just started breathing again considering what magic can do. I got cursed with karma of all things, so the sky's the limit here.

I craned my head, spotting lamps, furniture and the kitchen area.

Seeing not a single soul in sight, I began to get a little worried. Naturally, I repressed it. Getting off the sofa I was just resting on, I stretched my body and forced out the addicting sensation of cracking bones and limbering up. I thought about the earlier message.

An Ordeal…

This power I've been blessed with can be seen as both a blessing and a curse considering how I've gained not only strength, but also received pain as well. I pursed my lips in contemplation.

I should call mom after checking through the millions of missed calls and concerned messages riddled with angry and rushed words. I can already envision the typos. I actually had to contain the laughter that was about to spill out.

I shouldn't really laugh though. That's a mother's worry. Something I gotta take seriously because sometimes I feel I don't really deserve it.

First thing's first though, my phone that's in my right pocket...where it should've been. "Could it've been in my left?" I question, shoving down the rising concern. Empty in both.

I couldn't feel that comforting thing anywhere on me.

Time to get off my lazy ass and search for my companions. I strolled over to the next room, looked into the bathroom, looked under the beds and even the sofas before concluding the obvious.

Mikah's not here and neither is Vincent. I ascertained that and then sat back on the sofa with my arms crossed. Mikah definitely seems like the type to rob me, but to search for him, I'd have to leave this room and look through an unfamiliar building.

A sigh escaped me along with happiness as the saying goes.

At the very least, I should check my status. Life's basically become a game for me, which means I need to get used to it as soon as possible. Trying to acclimate to it slowly just gives me the time to subconsciously reject it. Something that took me too long to realize.

I need to totally do away with the concept of normality and embrace my new self along with this power even if I don't want to do it.

But...something's not right. I can't bring up my status screen? I raised a brow in confusion.

Even if I verbalize the command, it won't come out. Time for something else then.

"Inventory."

Alright, I somehow lost access to my supernatural abilities in the same way I got them in the first place. Completely out of nowhere and in a haphazard manner..

I feel naked. Having something taken away after tasting all the benefits from it is a foreign sensation I can't recall ever feeling before. I really did take my ability for granted and now I'm without it.

I can't say I like this feeling of being cheated and robbed.

Even if this is the way things should be, becoming normal once more, to say that I'm completely okay with it...

...It feels extremely wrong.

At that moment, another alert appeared. It was one I've never seen before, but reminiscent of the one that came just a few minutes earlier.

Ordeal Alert.

The Gold Ordeal.

Open the Road of Gold.

Reward: Life and more.

Penalty: You'll truly lose it all for good.

Pain assailed my chest. I dropped to the ground in an instant, my arm seeking the chair in front of me to hang from, yet my weakened limb lacked the strength to do even that. Gravity took hold of it and fell to the ground along with the rest of my body.

"Wha…" It was hard to breathe. My chest hurts and I feel cold. I heard the sound of something shifting far away. Where was it? What's happening?

What I managed to decipher from the noise was that the room shifted as my body began to slide to the wall. I lost complete control over myself, like a puppet with its strings cut.

With great strain and pain, I placed a hand to my chest. The lack of a thumping sensation forced a grimace to my features. That grimace then turned into a pained smile, and I felt the acceptance of death overtake me for just a slight moment.

It wasn't just slight. That's a lie. It truly began to dominate my thoughts due to the idea of survival being impossible without that vital organ. The fact that I'm still conscious is irrelevant. It's a basic notion that a person can't live without a heart. I'll die anyway, so why not accept it?

This ordeal was completely unfair and it left me with no hope of victory in the first place, so I can't be blamed for giving up, right? The odds were stacked entirely against me. The ordeal stole my heart and told me to open the road of goal with nary a hint on how to succeed?

Absolutely no hints, no ability to move, and most of all, no real desire to succeed. Things have been too wild for a while, so it's better for things to be certain like this, so I can go through the motions.

"Ah…" That's what it really came down to. I understood back then as well. I easily acquiesced to Vincent's desire to leave instead of acting of my own will to continue helping more people.

The moment I consciously acknowledged it, I found the strength to roll over and stared up at a bed connected to the ceiling with the feeling of air blowing on my back helped me indulge in this chilly feeling of death.

What was even the point of my existence?

Memento Mori. I recalled a friend once saying that to me. I don't remember the occasion, nor do I remember the emotions of that moment; however, there is one thing that's seared into my memory...no, something I've finally scrubbed free from the congesting spiderwebs.

My head hurts more than my chest. Did I even have a single desire that warranted clinging to life so desperately?

Well, there is one thing now. Even if I don't feel particularly attached to life, it's not like I want to die either. Using that small, foreign desire of murder for motivation to keep myself going should be fine right?

And it's not like I'm going to die even without a heart.

I slowly clamber to my feet, my body adjusting to the lack of an extremely vital organ. I should've passed out minutes ago, but since it didn't happen, it tells me this situation is abnormal.

It's time to piece things together.

My ability isn't working, I'm going through an 'Ordeal,' Mikah and Vincent are gone, and my phone vanished.

"What does this mean?" I mutter to myself.

All of a sudden, the door was blown open by a bipedal, furry creature. It's teeth were sharp, and outgrown in such a gnarled way that it twisted upwards from its gums and it lacked the capability to properly close its mouth.

I subconsciously backed up as it took a step forward. It was strong enough to blow through a closed door. With its gleaming eyes set on me, I had to get the hell out of here now.

I ran to the next room and shut the door half-assedly. The lack of the clicking sound means my strength was insufficient to snap it shut with the push. I'm still reeling from the lack of a heart.

Son of a bitch!

The beast slammed through the door hard enough that it bounced from the wall and smacked it again. That gave me the time to run to the bathroom and properly close the door.

And that's when everything just went stupid.

When I went into the hotel room's bathroom, I somehow ended up in an elevator. My hasty thoughts ground to a halt even quicker when a dull thud snatched my attention. The top of the box had a large dent in it.

As fast as I could, I rapidly hit the button that would open the door, but that wasn't fast enough. I pried it open along with it naturally open and fell out of the elevator just as the same beast from before descended to where I was.

That's when I started running again.

In the midst of my flight, a thought crossed my mind.

Why am I running? Even if it doesn't look like a normal dog, if it was faster than me, it would've caught up already. That means its speed isn't something to balk at, which means its strength shouldn't be all that good either…?

I shook my head. It blew a hole through metal. I can't do the same.

I decided to turn around while maintaining my speed to get a good idea how far away it is from me, but then a searing pain overtook my senses and my mind became blank.

Before I knew it, I was on the ground in a puddle of blood with my arm just a few meters in front of me.

What? What hit me? The dog? No, too far away. Something else? My arm's gone. No, it's right in front of me. It's not attached. How do I reattach it? I need to move. I'm lacking energy. I could die now. Where's that dog? I'm going to die.

I heard a bang.

Everything ended.

"Ah!" I woke up. I reflexively reached for my stump, only to feel the entire arm still there. Was it a dream or an illusion?

I checked my pockets only to not feel my phone anywhere. That prompted me to let out an explosive sigh before immediately getting up from the sofa and opening the hotel door to the hallway.

Nothing to my left and a vicious dog to my right.

Oh shit, it's on the right.

Needless to say, I booked it and quickly turned around the corner.

That saved me from a fatal impact as the dog ripped through the corridor in a furious rush, warping the walls around it and crashing headfirst into a wall while continuing through.

I see. That was what took my arm. That means hallways are no good when encountering this thing. That bang could've been when it came back to finish me off. It sounded more like a gunshot though.

I breathed out and shook my head. Can't waste time worrying about that stuff right now. It's preferable to escape or hide. It pisses me off, but I can't conceive of handling a monster like that head on.

I dashed through the hall, not even trying the certainly locked doors. What I was searching for was the stairs. The elevator's a death trap.

"Found it!" I exclaimed. I held onto the handle, nearly falling over when I stopped sprinting, and threw it open only to be greeted with the familiar scenery of a hotel room.

"What?" I opened the door and walked out to a hallway before looking both left and right. I didn't see a hole where the dog charged through, so I assumed I got thrown into another part of the building.

Alright, I'm understanding the picture now. The dimensions are warped. There might be a pattern to figure out how the space has been warped and where I'll be getting sent to from going through doors, but I don't know this hotel well enough to figure that out

Right now, my priority should be getting the hell out of here. I thought to myself for just a moment before opening the door back to the room.

I was sent into a bathroom. Opening the bathroom door, I was sent into an elevator. I rapidly tapped the elevator door open because this place was too damn threatening to remain in, and I was pushed out to a hallway.

Third floor… This setup is utter chaos.

A terrifying howl reverberated throughout the entire floor. That wasn't what made me nearly shit myself though. It was the accompanying howls that followed it.

I felt sudden enlightenment. Satori, if I recall correctly. This should be a clue and it's also the safest way to get the hell out of the hallways.

Both times, leaving an elevator has sent me out into a hallway. It could be a coincidence, but I'll need to trust that for now. Time to go to the bottom floor and exit this house of horrors.

The moment the elevator started moving downward, there was a loud noise that made itself apparent. A cacophony of united howls, synchronously emanating bloodthirst. I could feel their desire to turn me into bloody chunks all the way from here.

I shivered before hearing the relieving ding that told me I reached the bottom.

The bottom floor was empty. I booked it to the exit, hearing the sound of footsteps trampling the floor above. I felt joy abound my chest and I threw open the automatic doors, not waiting for them to just open on their own.

And then I found the boundless sky with my feet on the rooftop. Chaotic emotions swirled in my chest, their unseen colors forming a kaleidoscope of confusion and relief.

I marveled at the violet sky, the evening sun already beginning to rest. It was dumb to just stand here and do nothing while vicious dogs could be throwing themselves up the stairs to tear me to shreds, but I was truly captivated by this sight for some reason.

"Yeah, it's really irresistible, isn't it." I froze and spun around almost instantaneously at the voice that startled me greatly. I know this voice.

"That onset of twilight is a cherished, unforgettable moment seared into my head. Even if I lost my memory, I'd still pause at the sight of it."

The person I saw had all physical features covered by the baggy, long clothes he was wearing. Vantablack pants that seemed to swallow any light tied together with bright golden shoes to serve as an opposite to it. His long-sleeved golden jacket obscured his body type and its hoodie shadowed his head, leaving only an indomitable grin apparent to me.

"I completely understand what you're feeling."

My efforts at recollection only netted me a stinging pain when I tried to place the key of the familiar inflection and the tone of the voice to a locked drawer in my memory. my recall ability felt more limited than usual, for the fact that I can't recall something that I definitely know I know is too odd to be normal.

"Who are you?" I asked the most basic, obvious question, yet it was one I wanted, no, needed an answer to the most.

"Me?" He just grinned at me. "I'm the sorest loser: the greediest person in the world. I have a name, but like hell it's something I'll tell you. Though, if you want something to refer me to for ease of use, just call me Gold, yeah?"

It matched his eye-searing top at least.

"Now, who are you?" I frowned at that question.

"Why should I tell you that?" was my rude response. He might've acquiesced to my request, but that doesn't mean I need to do the same for him. His grin, however, only grew wider in response.

"C'mon, just humor me man."

I sighed and gave in. "Whatever. The name's…" I stalled with my lips stuck on the letter G.

"Huh? My name is…" I couldn't finish that statement.

Why? I know it. My name was and always will be… What the hell. What the hell? What the hell is this?!

Why did I go retarded and forget something as basic as this?!

"Cause I snatched it!" I stopped furiously scratching my head to look straight ahead at the man who answered the question that dominated my mind. He said it boldly and factually, like he was capable of doing such a thing.

Magic?

"That's not the only thing I took. Take a look." A beating heart appeared in his hand. He applied just the tiniest amount of pressure, and I felt my body nearly seize up in pain.

My heart and my name.

"Quit being so confused and hesitant. Figure this stuff out already." His voice was airy and uncaring.

I instantly threw my fist straight at his grinning face without warning. There was no hesitation in that action of mine, yet he read me like a book and sidestepped to the right. "Yeah, that's more like it. You already got looped once before the rules were fully explained, but it looks like you got the gist of things now."

I swing again and again and again. He dodged again and again and again. Strange. His movements were not born of weary experiences nor of carefully cultivated martial skill that allowed him to read me; it was nothing but pure intuition as he moved in a raw manner akin to an unpracticed dance.

I don't like this.

Something just feels very off about this entire situation, and the oddity isn't just what's been told to me or what I figured out.

I stopped swinging at him before I got into a stance, calming both my mind and my body as I tried to read him instead of running on instinct.

He just held his arms out. Not once did he take an unfair advantage by using my heart, so I don't think I have to worry about that for the time being.

I threw a fast jab. He dodged yet again and continued speaking undeterred by my actions.

"All you gotta do is overcome me. It's simple, but I'll fail you if you even start thinking about giving up in the slightest." Can he read my mind?

He just continued smirking. "Try not to lose it all. I can tell your personality already began collapsing before you got in here, so the next loops could be interesting maybe?"

Huh?

After those words, he pulled out a gun that gleamed golder than his clothes. I tried moving my body as fast as possible before the explosive sound of dynamite accompanied a searing pain in my head. It vanished just as quickly as I felt it.

"Gah!" I came to. First, I felt my body on the sofa. Next, I felt my heavy breathing.

And finally, I acknowledged my death and stopped repressing the first one. It's no illusion. I gripped my arms and started shivering. My heart pounded like a drum and echoed in my ears along with the washing tide of a river. My face felt especially plastic while I took rapid, calming breaths.

Attempting to move just made me fall to the ground before I started dry heaving, but even that couldn't grant me relief. I couldn't pass from the stage of dry heaving to the stage of vomiting.

My body was merely content on forcing me to sweat my own body weight. I heard something chattering.

Fear?

No, I wasn't that far gone. My thinking brain was still functioning and I could still sum up the effort to rise to my feet. I anxiously readied myself before the door blew open, revealing a monstrous dog.

My body moved before my thoughts did and that was the only thing that saved me from its blinding charge. It blew a hole through the wall and continued on to the next room.

I felt a burning feeling on my arm, but it was still connected. I can still keep going.

I ran out of the hotel room and then I heard a bang.

"Son of a bitch!" I shouted, coming to once more. I ran to my bathroom and flung open the door before anything else had a chance to get rid of me.

"Can't I catch a break?!" I yelled to absolutely no one, which meant that I wasn't really asking for a response.

Yet, somebody gave a rhetorical answer to me. The answer was in the form of a gunshot that stole my life for the fourth time.

I didn't verbalize my irritation this time, nor did I jump out of the sofa with vigor. I instead sat and contemplated for once.

I think I'm finally starting to get numb to this. I mean, I'm not really dying am I? Thinking back, Gold was talking about loops. A real death should be more traumatic than this, right?

I felt around my face, not feeling any change overcome my mental state that'd force an ugly look to distort my current expression. I'm still fine and I can keep going. I have a job to get back to, right?

I sigh and stand up with great reluctance. I said I was getting numb, but my legs are still shaking and it's hard to take steps. I really wish I had access to my ability. I won't stop though. I can't let my life end.

And it's for that reason that I need to use these seemingly endless lives as opportunities to learn my opponents so I can truly save my own life.

The door blew open, nearly coming off the hinges. The room dropped cold and the dog's bloodthirst constricted my body. Time seemed to slow down as it sauntered towards me, its eyes darting for any subtle movements I managed to do.

I reacted, thinking I could move quicker than it could kill me now that it gaited close enough for me to not worry about accuracy. I moved fast.

I got a large hole blown in my gut for my hubris.

"Ah."

I think I identified a light at the end of this tunnel.

That charge was frame 1 and completely non-reactable. Came out way too quick and there's absolutely no shot at me overcoming it head on.

However, it didn't come out the instant the monster saw me, which tells me something.

Something I'm going to figure out while I'm back sitting on the sofa again. The fact that it's not immediately starting with it gives me a shot at beating it. It's possible to escape it if I move before I fully enter its vision as well, but running away is not an option.

I needed to test more of its movements, so I waited until the door burst open before making my move once again with a boldness I couldn't really embrace in total.

I died again and it didn't stop with that. I'm not smart enough to instantly figure out an enemy's moves in a single shot, so I have to use everything I got to eke out a victory here. Looping is the thing to abuse even if I might lose stuff in the process.

I looped and looped and looped and looped. I'm probably on my twelfth shot.

For a split-second, the creaking sound of wood reverberated internally in my skull and the right side of my body failed along with my vision. It came back just as quickly as it happened, but it lasted long enough to be recognizable as a particularly vexing nuisance.

I can only pray that it doesn't happen again.

Like the last several times, I got to my feet immediately before rooting myself to the ground with my knees slightly bent. I'm readying for another impossible to capture charge. What I learned is that the moment I even budge a little bit in the dog's full line of sight, the thing activates an instant boost dash to rip through me or anything in its path.

I needed to lose multiple times to gain a victory, yet I've never been able to pull the latter off. I didn't even grit my teeth. I just maintained a grin and conveyed a confidence I didn't feel to cover up a building despair.

The dog leapt this time with manageable speed as expected. I kicked up the table in its path, hitting its mouth and sending spittle upwards causing its bloody eyes to dilate and lock straight onto me.

The loops I went through told me not to hesitate. My sense of pain felt muted, but it was still present. I had no intention of getting a hole blown through my abdomen or having teeth rip out my throat.

My hands reached for the dog's throat before its body touched the ground. Can't let it kick off like that. I may have lost my ability, but the strength I've gained as a result of the ability hasn't changed.

And I'm sure my wits haven't depleted either.

With that, I snapped the monster's neck and took a small victory, for the first time, in the war.

I panted hard, satisfaction running its course throughout my body. I felt raw pleasure from the concept of finally winning a long and arduous mob fight...even if there are more beasts to account for.

This emotion translated to a smile that wore itself wearily across my face. Words came out unbidden.

"I'm...starting to remember how to do this." I laughed no one but myself.

Ignoring the golden gunman who's waiting for me to exit the room, I rip off one of the animal's arms with the intention to swing it as a weapon.

I took a deep breath while pondering the plan of action. A human opponent is better at switching tactics than an animal, so using loops for the purpose of figuring out a pattern is flawed.

My enemy isn't a machine nor a dumb animal. He's uncanny, unpredictable, and most of all, deadly. I recall the changed movements he's made as I've changed my movements.

It's a match of chess and I can't cheat by using an online AI to mimic movements.

What I do know is that he doesn't take shots while I'm in this room. Only when I leave does he go for—

I woke up.

I died and lost my weapon.

I woke up.

My body was already on the floor by the time I woke up again and I scrambled through the room and practically leapt into the bathroom on all fours. I was shot in the leg, arm, and gut.

I'm gonna bleed out, but I at least made it through this loop.

"I should've known...he'd start adjusting when I took out one of his pets." I gasped in pain while verbalizing my thoughts. This elevator's confirmed to be a safe space. That's a relief. I wish he would at least give some time to think!

I spotted fractures aligning the top interior of the elevator box in the form of disjointed cracks lacking a pattern or proper shape. Just craning my neck made the unnatural holes in my body burn.

Right, I need to start thinking of a way to actually win this. "Ha...I should probably get serious about looking for a job as well."

Placing a hand on the floor, I tried pushing up. I stumbled and fell. I slipped and fell straight back on my ass, my face distorted by stupefaction. "Job?" My thoughts aren't aligning with my words.

"Hold on. I have a job, right?" I do.

A bucket of cold water splashed all over my insides. The memories are starting to fade.

And the instant I realized that fact, the creaking wood in my brain that was normalized transformed into the sound of sheet metal being torn. There's no pain, but the sensation is revelatory in nature and frightening as well.

The holes, being no more than pinpricks now, had their pain fade from my body. I felt lighter and heavier at the same time and I truly felt something slip away.

"My brother's name...what was it again?" I uncaringly hit a button on an elevator.

Judging from how space is distorted and warped, leaving from the bottom floor would take me back to the top floor. I got in a runner's position.

It's odd how I can't bring myself to care about the memories that are fading. I should be indignant, furious, melancholious, or at least desponded.

However, I can't even sum up those emotional responses. My face is blank, an odd smile resting on it from only the desire and anticipation to win against the person who's been toying with me in this place.

The door opened and I kicked off the ground with speeds beyond my normal self. I ignored all the beasts on the floor and the gun shots ricocheting off the walls. Everything was submerged in a swamp.

I burst through the door.

"You're back."

The inflection of the familiar voice possessed a strange quality to it that wasn't there before. I couldn't quite identify it, but that's none of my concern.

"You're not gonna shoot me now?" I just spread my arms wide, the current tone of my voice almost matching his. Apathy is starting to dominate the majority of my mind, but I still wanna win. Haven't lost all my memories or my desires yet.

In response to my simple question, my foe frowned for the first time.

"Looking at the world as if it's a game...is that the current incarnation this time?" His incomprehensible words accompanied a negatory shake of his head. He refuted whatever he was saying moments later.

"Can't be. That painful ability of yours honestly holds you back. You're stronger without that limitation. Or is the rune etched on your soul Nauthiz this time?" I placed a hand on my hip, not letting the man out of my sight. I walked diagonally from him.

"How can I look at the world as if it's a game when I care about the so-called NPCs that are the people? I'm the only player, but I'm not the only person, right?"

"Does that matter? What you're saying is sophistry. "Nobody else matters to me more than me? Everything is all for me." That's your tenebrous core. It's being stripped down and unraveled even now, so a baby could figure it out."

I paused. "That's...not right." I was slow to deny his words. I would've denied them faster if my mind was all there. I'm sure of it. Either way, he's not me, and he doesn't really know me.

A wry smile reflected in my eyes. "Don't try to deny it. Desires and dreams are the things I'm never mistaken about. That's the reward for the loser who could never accomplish what he wanted most."

He finally pulled out his golden gun. What more could that be than the ultimate symbol of greed? Engraving golden metal with more gold and spattering it with blood.

Gold solemnly spoke: "I have nothing but my life and I want nothing more. It was, and still is, the only thing in my grasp I've yet to lose. My ever faithful partner."

I traced the pathing of his aim, my fingers twitching. The instant I stepped closer with my right foot, the bullet let loose from the barrel, targeting my chest. With the foot I used initially, I pivoted to the right and dodged the shot.

"Not yet." Seven more shots subsequently followed the first. It was impossible to dodge them all, so I tried to stop them from hitting vital areas with my speed and lacking skill.

The second bullet shattered my left knee, stopping me from using it as balance, the third shot hit my right foot before I leapt from it, tripping me on all fours, and the next five bullets pierced my arms and abdomen.

I was unequivocally defeated and left in a puddle of my own blood.

I fell and rolled over on my back, catching a glimpse of the cracked sky above. Before I could observe that incongruity any further, my view was overshadowed by Gold standing over me.

"I'll never lose again." Just you wait, you lousy bastard. I'll definitely make sure you feel the sound sensation of defeat one more time.

The bullet fired and I was back on the sofa. This time, no gunshot instantly looped me again, meaning he's changing his strategy once more.

Let's see…

The bathroom leads to the elevator, the door leads to the hallway, stairwell leads to hotel rooms, elevator leads toward the hallway, and it's unknown what leads to the stairwell.

For now, I'll enter the hallway.

I opened the door and I found myself in a stairwell. A bullet then ripped through the air, my reaction quick enough to only have a hole in my shoulder instead of my chest.

"I can change what leads to what when I feel like it." A malicious and derisive voice accompanied a dark look. The gunman was protected by two dogs at his side, content on remaining unmoving until receiving orders most likely.

"I can't believe you're shooting an unarmed man over and over again." This run seems dead.

I just smirked. "Are you a coward of some sort? Can't face me head on, so you need to be protected by your pets." He didn't look bothered by my taunts.

He should've finished me off by now, but for some reason, he's just staring at me. I'll just taunt him until he gives in then, though I need some better ammo. Maybe his clothes? When he asked me to refer to him as Gold...yeah there might be something there.

This might even give some good insight into how he functions a bit.

"Is yellow the color of cowardice?"

I woke up on the sofa. The last thing I saw before I let the bullet drill into my bed was the facade of calmness giving way to incandescent rage.

It's odd. The more my spirit and emotions fade, the more emotional and spirited Gold becomes. I should've asked the question earlier: where exactly do the memories I lose with every loop vanish to?

The answer is simple. And then, I must ask another question.

I exited the door and reached the hallway. Dogs. Dead dogs everywhere as far as the eye can see. Blood transformed the clean floors into a bloodstained path of madness. Beyond the gore lies Gold standing, clothes caked in blood.

What's the gimmick now?

"Why the hell are you taking my memories? Why exactly are you killing me over and over to begin with?" The emotion of anger now became impossible for me to summon. Annoyance, however, was something I still had in spades.

"What do you think these animals are?" he rhetorically queried.

Answering a question with another question? What else could I do but sigh?

"They're the representation of my past. I went a bit wild and killed them all once I fully took your emotion of anger and some of your memories. You're a bit more complicated than I initially thought, but now I'm certain you're selfishly solipsistic."

I ignored his words and ruminated on the description of those dogs. Lacking a bunch of stuff that should normally be floating around in my brain, I was feeling a supernatural sense of clarity.

If those dogs acted based on Gold's perspective of the people and things in his past, then he truly must've been a yellow-bellied coward. Oh, this guy...If I could still feel anger, it'd be replaced by pity.

He looked disgusted by it. "...The hell is that look for?" And now he's taking on my manner of speech.

It's enough to make me smile. Is he a parrot or a machine?

Instead of smiling, all I could do was just shake my head.

"You really thought everything was out to get you just from doing anything? You must've had a persecution complex a mile long or maybe you went insane. Either way, I can really say I've got the gist of things."

I pointed straight at the man still carrying my heart, his grip tightening just the slightest bit. That sensation made me grow colder, but my indomitable smile didn't lessen in the slightest.

"I still don't know how you dragged me into this place, but I at least know you're not content with taking my memories and emotions. I don't know what else you want or why you're going on a roundabout path of doing this, but I'm going to return back where I came whether or not you're dead or alive. It's just me and you now. No more interference."

"It was always just you," slipped out from his mouth.

"My life was a miserable thing with my raison d'etre dominating everything. I lost my goals, my dreams, my desires all because of me, myself, and I. I could never win even at the end."

"You hated living?" I interrupted. He shook his head.

"Why should I begrudge my life, when at the end of it all, after my emotions and memories slipped away, it still lay beside my crushed spirit." His face was overcome by anger after those words.

"Someone like you...someone who wastes their life without thinking of anything and anyone else; does someone like you who's never carried any weight in their entire life really think they can overcome me?!"

I was shot.

"My dreams."

I woke up on the sofa.

"My victory."

I was shot.

"My loss."

I woke up on the sofa.

"They were all snatched away."

Over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again. Until I lost count and I started forgetting the fact I was forgetting things. The knowledge of all my friends vanished and the names of my parents slipped away like grains in the sand.

My words and my obstinance greatly aggravated Gold. The more I lost, the more he gained. His mind, one that was too used to being apathetic and remaining light as a feather without shouldering any emotional burdens in the slightest, was being weighed down by my burdensome ties.

He was visibly cracking at the seams.

Until his face literally cracked prompting his body to freeze.

That was an opportunity I wasn't waiting for, but one I took advantage of nonetheless.

"You made it too personal and got up in my face with that gun," I stated boldly, gripping his right wrist and wresting my heart away from him. I tried taking the gun away from him too, but it was figuratively glued.

I merely settled on landing my first hit on the man, distorting his face with the most vicious punch I've ever thrown. Two things were strange.

The abnormal force of my punch blasting him through several walls, and the cold feeling that transferred to my hand. It didn't feel like I was hitting flesh. I walked out into the hallway, following the holes.

At the end was a large dent on the wall. Gold was nowhere to be found.

"Come to the rooftop. We're settling this." His voice seemingly came out from the walls around. There was no reason to ignore them considering that I was planning on finishing things as well.

If he wants to settle things though, that means I'm sitting on my final loop. This will be the first time I'm entering the elevator straight from the hallway, but it shouldn't really change anything, right?

Wrong. The elevator door opened to the stairwell.

I guess that's fine too. I jumped to the bottom instead of wasting time walking and opened the door to the bottom floor. I was sent back into the elevator.

"Are you kidding me?" If he wants me to come to the rooftop so badly, then he should just warp space again and make it easier. I shook my head and hit the button to send me to the bottom floor.

The door opened after a ding and it was just a straight shot to the top. I took my time walking to the exit, thinking about the few memories I have left and Gold.

All I got left is the memories of this fight, I think? Also the stuff that makes up my general personality and thought process. It makes me think about why I wanna go back, but I guess it's just something really intrinsic.

The feeling of my heart in my hand made me pause right in front of the open door. What do I do with this? Keeping it with me would be a pretty nasty burden, but putting it on the floor doesn't feel right either.

In the end, I decided to keep it with me.

"You're here."

Gold's hood was down. The blow I landed on him warped his fleshy face. The part that was damaged revealed metal and his right eye was flashing like a warning light.

His face was very familiar. Sharp features, golden eyes, light-brown hair. Couldn't figure out who this was supposed to be though. Actually, I'm not even sure if I'm supposed to know him or not, nor can I really bring myself to care.

He gave me a wry smile.

I feel so light. Gold rose his gun, and then I dashed.

I swung my arm.

With just the side of my hand, I decapitated him in an instant before he shot, finger still on the trigger of the golden gun. The liquid that burst from his neck was yellow, the color of gasoline. There was only a relieved, simple grin on the head flying in the sky.

That grin contained a myriad amount of emotions which released four cryptic words.

"Show me your victory."

Ordeal Completed.

I stared at the transparent screen before falling to my knees. Everything came roaring back.

My name is Genji Soma. My parents are Genji Shiori and Genji Seijuro. I work at a convenience store now and my boss is a magician. I've been cursed to kill a Laura Stuart by George Nelson. My friend's name is Ayumi!

It's back! It's all fucking back!

I looked up at the breaking sky, twilight being supplanted by darkness. The view above was breaking, the widening fractures I disregarded in my apathetic madness finally shattering. The hotel building was also beginning to break beneath me.

I won and everything finished. I'll be returning back to reality and I'll have my abilities back as well. The heavy burden of memories and emotions comforted me and my heart is still in my hand. A complete victory.

"...No." My voice was swallowed up by the sound of impending destruction ready to reward me for my effort. "This isn't a victory. Nothing's been won yet."

I was dragged in here to fight for my life and I kept my life. That's not a victory, that's just returning things to the status quo.

I absolutely won't let things end like this.

I look over at the man's body. I ignored the fact that we shared the same face and dug into his mechanical chest with my bare hands. "If this is the remains of your mind and this place relies on mind over matter…"

Then I should be able to go straight to the origin of who he is. I will delve into the back of the stage.

I cut my hands on the mechanical parts that constituted his body. The only thing that was human about him was his mind and his skin. Like a relentless mole, I dug through the cheap metal and cracked my fingernails in the process before I reached the engine that petered out.

I grasped his heart and prayed: "I have nothing but my life and I want nothing more. It was, and still is, the only thing in my grasp I've yet to lose. My ever faithful partner."

Those words of his were etched into my soul. They were unforgettable in nature and felt natural to say. The hotel building collapsed and my body felt weightless. A different weightlessness from lacking memories and emotions, but a disorienting feeling all the same.

With his metallic heart in my left hand and my own heart in my right, I tightened my face. There was a reason why I couldn't let things rest like this. A very important reason more critical than my life and anyone else. I combined the information I received about Gold with the emotions that came flowing back like a tide.

I reached a truth.

"One more! Just one more time! I'm not through with you, Gold!" This was my last plea.

"One last round!"

Gold is a color that symbolizes many things. Just like many colors, it hosts positive and negative qualities in equal spades. Wealth and luxury, love, wisdom, and magic. For the opponent that Soma opposed a multitude of times until he gained on victory, he would've embodied gold in totality if he was still alive. He was a soul more obstinate and hungered for victory more than any other.

However, the current Gold could only plate himself in the former Gold that he was. Beneath that, was a degraded color. He was a sickly yellow that resembled the disgusting nature of motor oil and how it was harvested in poor conditions. A nonrenewable resource that was destined to burn out.

in other words, the false gold that Gold was would only encounter destined loss. At the end, the realization made the heavy emotions that were overtaking his shallow core become lighter than a feather. He could never grasp onto emotions again because all he has is his life.

But, even that was taken away. No desires, no life, no hopes, no dreams, no victory, no death, and no loss. He's no longer Gold, but yellow.

Yellow is a color that symbolizes warning and cowardice. A person that couldn't accept a loss and degenerated as a lingering remnant while trying to make a comeback he was never allowed to do embodies this machine greatly. A cautionary tale that would serve as a lesson for those who caught too caught up in their own desires and choked on the weight of failures.

Yet, no color is purely a negative one. Yellow also has a positive meaning to it as well.

It's hope.

I traveled through fragments of memories and emotions. These foreign sensations threatened to swallow me whole if I didn't maintain my sense of self. Through the blurring sights of hotel rooms, dogs, blood, me, and Gold, pace of the images gradually began to accelerate until it distorted and spun.

I was falling.

I opened my eyes in the darkness and spotted a gray robot with gilded painting that partially degraded and falling off. I landed on the dark floor and walked toward the machine. It only had a mouth and it's body was shaped like an oversized doll.

"You've arrived." A confounded, aged voice exited the robot.

"Yeah," I verified. A move I didn't have the slightest hope for, yet I pulled it off. A miracle enough to make me believe in gods.

I really made it here.

"I didn't expect this." A deep, distorted tenor with crackles of gears that were creaking and slow to move entered my ears. He wasn't even looking at me. He was struck dumb by the backdrop of the cosmos.

A deep darkness that was brightened up by stars in the sky.

It's easy to predict the words flowing in his mind as they just flow into mine. The sensations and sentiments boil inside me. This is the face of a starstruck machine.

"Yeah, it's really irresistible, isn't it?" Words he said to me once, I threw back at him. I could piece together the look of surprise even on the face of a machine with a square head and no eyes. He's just so easy to read right now.

"The starry, night sky is a cherished, unforgettable moment seared into my head. Even if I lost my memory, I'd still pause at the sight of it."

The robot laughed, or that's what it seemed to be. You don't really know what one would sound like chortling, but if the labored breaths accompanied by rusted gears are to tell you anything along with the flowing sentiments, the man at least found humor in your truth.

"I prefer the twilight myself. Anyways, why did you decide to come here?"

"Me?" That doesn't sound right, but that's not important right now. "I just want to talk with you. One last round except it's just a conversation between the two of us. I want to know your story and I want to share my short story with you."

The machine sat down.

"What are you waiting for? Standing up would just make things awkward." I sat down in criss-cross position.

He seemed to have mellowed out. Well, I mellowed out as well after that fight. It was a messy thing that screwed with my memories and emotions and even my thought process, so both of us are in our normal states right now.

"What do you want to know first?"

"Your name." I didn't even skip a beat. The machine took a moment to stare at me in what was probably contemplation.

"Name's Kiro. My surname, the majority of my memories, and even my emotions faded to sepia. Taking in foreign emotions for the first time in this new life made me go crazy. You know, after this Ordeal, I was supposed to just sleep until the next incarnation triggered my Ordeal again." I just stared at him.

"I'm gonna have to explain some terms, aren't I." It wasn't even worded like a question.

"Yeah."

The both of us sighed in acceptance.

"I'll get stuff out of the way by explaining the gist of what's going on. You're the tenth person in this conga line of reincarnation." Huh? "Every person after the first undergoes at least one Ordeal before dying and spawning somebody else somewhere around the world." What?

"Hold on, stop right there. I get what you're saying, but I don't get it at the same time. Reincarnation? I've already seen some crazy stuff, but this might honestly take the cake."

"Ha. Ha. Ha." He was laughing again. It might be because of his body, but that's a very creepy laugh! "It's the truth."

"Yeah, I believe you it's just...you know." I accepted it reluctantly. "But why the reincarnations? And why are we separate people if that's really the case? Shouldn't we be the same person?"

From what I know about the concept of reincarnation, we're all the same person even if memories aren't normally passed down. Unless that concept of reincarnation was wrong and this is the real deal?

Kiro did a very humanlike action of resting a hand on his chin.

"Blame the First. He set this system up to make each subsequent version of himself stronger and stronger. He failed to accomplish his goal in life, so his desires burned inward, warped everything, and set this nasty system up. Each of us got a spark of him to gain power and a strange, yet suitable ability so we could fulfill our revenge." My eye twitched.

"What the hell? Let me live my life without having to get caught up in another revenge scheme." There's the characteristic wry smile from Kiro.

"I thought that as well when I experienced my first Ordeal. Then I ran into the revenge target and was overcame by unbearable anger as I saw a rotting, disgusting illusion of hatred. You'll feel the same way, so you won't be able to resist the feeling of revenge. It's the one thing that is passed down in each reincarnation."

I stared up at the stars with a constipated look on my face. So, I have to kill Laura or do away with this curse somehow to survive, and I also have to deal with this other person?

"While we're on the topic, who is this person that set off this chain of events?"

"Aiwass."

I sucked in a cold breath of air from feeling the pain of gripping my knees too tightly. "You're right," I lamented. "Just from that name alone, I felt a bubbling fury that couldn't be contained. Don't tell me anymore about him. This is too poisonous to contain."

Kiro stared at me, giving me the courtesy of calming myself.

"I'm good now, thanks. Now let's talk about Ordeals. Why the fuck did you jump me while I was getting some sleep and how can I figure out when an Ordeal is coming before I get ambushed?" I might've failed at holding in my irritation but I at least tried.

"Sorry," he apologized, feeling no remorse. "All of us go through it the moment we learn how to manipulate our own mana. It's the on button to a factory of gears. It's impossible to predict when they'll come, but they do not come in the order of people that reincarnated. Some situations trigger different ordeals." Great.

It's an automatic process.

"What I can tell you is that they're always broken up in intervals of months," he added with a hint of positivity in his inflection. "You'll be fine for about thirty days." After thirty days, no sleeping until I'm prepared then.

I look down in thought for a few seconds before looking back up at my past self. "Thanks, Kiro."

"Is that all?" His apathetic voice returned to its normal state and he seemed to be fading slightly. How hard did he try to maintain his conscious state?

There's a reason why I wanted to talk with him more instead of just asking this boring stuff. I stood up with an easy grin on my face.

"Hey, past me."

"What is it, next me?" My grin widened.

"You're not through yet, right? Your emotions have faded, your memories have faded, you've forgotten your surname as well, but you still got the will to fight, yeah?" The machine slowly stood up, studying me all the while.

"...What are you getting at."

"I won't let you fade away." I hold out my hand with a serious face. "I don't know how, but we're gonna fight together. You still want revenge and you're still alive. Don't waste this life of yours."

He stared at me for what felt like hours before robotically speaking. "I've tried this offer before with my previous selves and they all rejected me. I was left to carry a golden dream all by my lonesome and I collapsed under the weight of past regrets and grudges. Are you asking the weakest person to help you lighten a load?"

I looked Kiro straight on. I am him and he is me, so he should know my answer.

However, if he wants to hear it straight from his own mouth, I'll let him know the depths of my resolve, the resolve that came from him and all our predecessors who passed on more than just vengeance and wrath. And these are my emotions as well.

"You haven't faded completely. Let's do this one more time and call it an extra round. I'll show you my victory...our victory, for real this time."

My hand was grasped by cold metal. The true weight of a weapon entered by hand along with the heart of a living machine spurning me onward no matter what. The world was burned gold before a voice filled with strength filled my ears.

"My name was Hattori Kiro, a man who lost everything and only had life lay beside him in death. My name is Gold, a man who can act even in the swamp of apathy. I'll show you some real nihilism this time." I had to say something appropriate in response to his declaration.

"My name is Genji Soma. I'm young, inexperienced, and filled with fighting spirit. I'll make sure that I'm that last reincarnation and lay this vengeance to rest." Even if my declaration won't come true, I'll do everything in my power to strive toward that future. If I fall, I'll get back up because that's the person I used to be as well.

"Let's do this until the end."

I woke up on a sofa with a smile on my face. My steps were marred with greed and carelessness, so now I'm gonna live with more spirit and consideration.