Kakashi was in a conundrum. Here he sat being propositioned by the previous Hokage, Tsunade the Slug Princess about something quite baffling. In her hand, a full cup of sake sided with an act of nonchalance as if she wasn't proposing the most ridiculous trio go on a stakeout.
"Ino, I understand. Sakura I can also see being suitable, but Naruto?" The Rokudaime, Kakashi exclaimed completely baffled by this newly heard proposition. Tsunade who had been sitting across from him slammed down a porcelain sake cup that she had just drowned in one go. She looked up and smirked at him challengingly.
"What's the problem? Scared of letting go of your star pupil?" She drawled, her nonchalance now turned challenging. Kakashi sighed and his previous look of shock faded into his usual lazy demeanour, he really didn't want to have to get into a debate over this but when did things ever go smoothly when dealing with the old Godaime.
"The problem is that Naruto is completely ill-qualified for what you're suggesting. She could compromise the entire mission," he rested his chin into his hand, leaning forward on the desk before continuing, "I don't think I need to explain to you why."
Tsunade studied him momentarily, she then reached for the bottle of sake stationed in between them and then proceeded to fill not one cup but two. "I'm not going to lie to you, Kakashi. Naruto isn't the perfect candidate. That's exactly why I want her to take this mission." She pushed the cup closer to Kakashi. "She has no experience with kunoichi espionage, and if she's going to become a female Hokage one day she will lack those fundamental skills as a woman. It would be embarrassing for her to sputter around when somebody is too direct with her or when she is unable to read between the lines."
Kakashi resisted the urge to roll his eyes. "You weren't exactly a Hokage renowned for her effeminate charm, Tsunade-sama." She slammed her cup down again.
"I'll have you know I know exactly how to use my assets when it is necessary you damn brat!" She barked, ignoring Shizune's protest of concern 'Lady Tsunade please don't drink so fast.' Backing up with Shizune, the desk also trembled in disagreement. Tsunade, let out a slow breath, most likely to refrain from breaking something.
"With Ino and Sakura to lead the mission, there is an almost 0% failure rate. I don't think a more perfect opportunity to train Naruto in this field will ever come up again," she continued, "I dare say from what I observed it is quite a low risk. The target is a lecherous bastard, he probably would have kept babbling in the bar if he didn't turn around and recognise me."
Kakashi quirked an eyebrow. "If that's the case, why couldn't you of just used a henge and gather the intel yourself?"
Tsunade harrumphed and folded her arms against her colossal bosom. "You don't think I didn't also think of that? The goon has sensors with him, good ones too, they would have recognised my chakra signature instantly! That's not even taking into account that they would have also noticed I'm using an illusion." She narrowed her eyes at the younger man. "Besides, who are you to tell your predecessor to take on a job during her retirement," she hissed.
Tsunade then leaned back in her chair eyed Kakashi up confidently. "Of course, I wouldn't want Naruto out there untrained. We can send her the mission details today, the faster we notify her the faster we can give the brat a crash course on how to not beat the living shit out of a drunk target," Tsunade chuckled a little and slid over a well-detailed report of the target. Kakashi reluctantly picked up the slim sheet and began reading the information listed about the said target
'Gatō Company'
He read through it curiously, he recognised that name and was surprised that the Gatō Company was still being run, but unsurprised that they were as corrupt as ever. "Sakura and Naruto have been to Wave country, Tsunade-sama. Their cover would be blown instantly." He stated. Tsunade snorted at him.
"Maybe if they were a couple of twelve-year old's, those two are women now."
Kakashi shook his head, "Naruto made quite the impression, they even named a bridge after her. I remember a young boy was particularly taken with her…" he trailed off.
Tsunade shook her head in disagreement. "They will have an alias. In fact, it's Naruto and Sakura's familiarity with the Wave country and Gatō that I first considered them." She was sipping her sake at this point, seemingly calmed down. Shizune and Tonton watched as their master continued to drink her third cup with unhidden disappointment.
Kakashi hummed at the report dangling in his fingers. He didn't feel confident approving the mission, the idea of sending his two adorable ex-students out on a honeypot mission unsettled him, particularly when thinking about his most oblivious ex-pupil. He eyed Tsunade suspiciously.
Why was Tsunade was so adamant about Naruto being used as bait? She was basically Naruto's grandmother and yet she didn't bat an eye at the prospect of Naruto being felt up by an old geezer. It irked him to no end that she sat in front of him, no longer the Hokage, and yet was still rebuking him. Not that he'd let her know how irritated he was.
He tried to consider her reasoning as to why she chose Naruto for this, and honestly, he wasn't convinced. Since when did a Hokage need experience in seduction under their belt? The Hokage has sufficient enough security, he was certain when he passed the hat to Naruto her lack of feminine wiles would hardly hinder her.
But then his traitorous imagination considered fleetingly the current Kazekage and his obsessive fixation with Naruto. The redhead could easily corner Naruto into an arranged marriage for the sake of diplomatic peace once he learned how to process his emotions properly. Naruto would do almost anything if she thought it brought peace to Konoha.
He shook off that uneasy thought. "I still don't believe Naruto will be necessary," he stated stoically, his face betraying nothing. Tsunade remained unmoved by stubbornness. "You'll be wasting her if you don't let her learn," she hissed. They stared each other down, both stuck in a game of Russian roulette with their eyes. Tsunade relented first with a huff.
"Look. I get it, when you think about her she's still a kid."
He certainly did not. You can't watch somebody save not only your arse but everyone else's and still consider them a child. The days Sasuke, Sakura and Naruto fought above his weakened state, against a crazed alien Goddess were the moments Kakashi relented that he had nothing left to teach them.
But he wouldn't say that out loud. Kakashi instead allowed himself to silently rejoice in victory.
"But if you don't let go of her hand she will never be taken seriously. You probably think you can shelter her from the reality of men with nefarious purposes. But it will never end until she's confident in her own skin and her own mind. Everyone will see her as weak if her subordinates treat her as a little girl."
Tsunade's words were cold. Whatever victory Kakashi thought he had felt was quickly subdued by the realisation.
Am I holding Naruto back?
The Naruto that is always so quick to give affection but so bashful to receive it. He gracefully placed the report issued by Tsunade down. She knew she had won.
It had been a few hours since Ino and Sakura's persistent pushing and Naruto was not living for it. She felt miserable, embarrassed, and worst of all, completely distracted. Her day was supposed to end with her practicing sealing techniques combined with usual battle techniques.
She had up to this point been trying to uncover what exactly went into the Hiraishin jutsu that her father and second Hokage had so meticulously mastered. She was supposed to be attempting that until she passed out from exhaustion and cursing them for their ridiculous secrecy around the sealing that achieved it.
Instead, she was in a bar, still with her two pesky friends, because there was no way for the life of her she would be able to travel through a spacetime manipulation with such a muddled up head. And the worst part of it all? She wasn't even getting drunk.
"Why do you have to be so selective of when I can drink and when I have to stay sober?" Naruto moaned internally to her companion and the constant drunk blocker living inside her. She received no answer as she continued to suffer in sobriety.
"What's wrong Naruto? You haven't touched your drink at all," Sakura asked her while taking a small sip of her glass of wine. Naruto glowered enviously as the forbidden liquid departed itself into Sakura. "Yeah, what's up with that? It was your idea to get drunk in the first place and you're being a total prude!" Ino added to Naruto's contempt.
"Come on! This is not fair. Everyone else gets to forget their shitty day, and you're in here making me have to live everything down like a chump." She pleaded.
"Why should I allow you to become another stupid, drunk, human." Kurama finally snarled.
"Kurama is pissed off and won't let me drink. At this rate I'm just wasting my money," Naruto replied sorrowfully, scorning the fox as she heaved herself down onto the bar table and into her arms in misery.
"Eh, that fox demon inside you? I didn't take him for the overprotective type," Ino chimed. Naruto peeked at her from the cocoon of her arms. Ino was sitting across from her with her first long island iced tea for the night.
"You think the Kyuubi no Kitsune is like that?" Sakura asked, her cheeks beginning to develop a tipsy flush.
"You guys have it so wrong, Kurama isn't overprotective. He hates humans in general, even if he does seem to tolerate them more so now than he used to. He doesn't want to let me drink because he doesn't want me to have fun. That's how he has his fun," Naruto looked at them dejectedly, an eyebrow raised offensively to their ridiculous statements.
Sakura and Ino simultaneously looked at each other. Sharing a look, one that implied that they were having an internal conversation without once opening their mouths.
"Maybe he doesn't let you drink because he doesn't want you to do anything stupid, Naruto," Sakura stated, Ino nodded her head vigorously from across the table.
"Drunk girls are a father's worst nightmare, Sakura's right. I'd place my bets that this fox demon of yours is not comfortable with his precious little Naruto losing her inhibitions in a bar full of strangers." Ino leaned in over the table. "And in addition to that, some civilian dude is sitting at the bar who has been watching us all night," She leered.
Naruto perked up to catch a glimpse as she and Sakura conspicuously narrowed their eyes to the bar, confirming Ino's observations. Undeniably, a guy was sitting there on his lonesome watching the group of girls unashamed. Sakura whistled, "Hey, he's not too shabby."
Ino leaned back into her seat and raised an eyebrow. "You think so? What says you Naruto, or is Kakashi the only guy that we can rile up some heat with?" Ino giggled as Naruto fumed back at her.
"Don't say that, it's only making me more miserable than before!" Naruto cried. "First, I can't drink, now you want to drag that back out?" She moaned, rolling her head back into the safety of her arms. "There's no way I can do anything about that, I just need to forget that shit before I embarrass myself in front of Kakashi-sensei." She muffled through her arms lounging against the table.
"Giving up before you even started? That's not the Naruto I know," Ino sipped at her almost finished drink. Sakura looked at her disapprovingly. "For once I think I have to take Naruto's side on this Ino, Kakashi was our teacher, to him were his precious students," Sakura downed her drink and stood up.
Ino rolled her eyes and downed the last of her drink. "Were his students. Isn't he always reading porn? I'm sure he must have a very vivid imagination. It must have been hard for him, reading smut while manhandling two female students. I'm sure he wouldn't have been able to resist thinking about either of you at least once." She wiggled her eyebrows at two aghast faces.
"That's sick, Ino! We were children!" Sakura screamed ready to smack Ino's head. Ino blew her off, "you sure like to say 'were' a lot. You didn't exactly look like kids back when you were on team Kakashi. Poor man." Ino gave an exaggerated sigh but her eyes betrayed her exasperation by twinkling mercilessly.
"Come on Naruto," Sakura said encouragingly whilst spitting a look of absolute hatred towards Ino. "Let's get a bottle of wine to go, we can head to your apartment. Maybe you'll be allowed to drink and forget about all this in a different setting."
Naruto slowly lifted her head off the table.
"Is that true?" She asked, mentally. There was a moment of silence before the deep voice of Kurama responded to her.
"Perhaps"
Naruto jumped up from the table eagerly. "Sakura you're a genius!" She exclaimed before bouncing away from her two friends to the bar to pick up a bottle to go, just briefly catching the end of Sakura and Ino's conversation.
"Oh god, what is he doing here?" She could hear Sakura say.
"And what is he wearing?" Ino interjected.
Naruto skipped her way over to the bar noting to herself that the place had become rather crowded. That wasn't too surprising given that it was a Saturday, but it was still annoying. She leaned over the counter attempting to get an overworked bartenders' attention when she heard a small cough from behind. So gross, she hoped they didn't cough on her directly because it didn't sound like the bastard had covered their mouth.
They coughed again, she was not pleased with how close this person sounded. Naruto glared ahead, she would have turned around and given this person a piece of her mind if she wasn't self-conscious of getting kicked out for rowdy behaviour.
Cough. Cough. AHEM, cough.
"Oh that's it, you son of a bitch!" Naruto spun around her, fist in the air. She was livid, and then she was exponentially confused. She eyed the male behind her, he looked familiar. But wrong.
"Huh, Kiba, is that you?" She blinked, fist still raised threateningly but somewhat lack.
Standing in front her was a bizarre parallel of her usually scruffy canine friend. His messy brown hair was gelled back stiffly with a distinct shine she had only ever seen gleam on Lee and Gai. His baggy clothes were exchanged for a trim black suit. Akamaru who was by his master's side was sporting a handsome bow tie with a cowlick flicking onto his snout.
"Oh… Naruto I didn't see you there." Kiba flashed her a quick grin with his canines and then pulled up the sleeve of his suit jacket to reveal a rather pricey-looking watch.
"Would you look at the time, isn't this place so crowded? Not that I mind. Lines never bother me as much as they used to," he then proceeded to laugh in a deep forced chuckle. Gracefully he stepped around Naruto to her side to lean against the bar counter. The bartender who has heard Naruto about to start a fight was immediately onto them.
"Excuse me sir, is everything all right? I heard a woman yelling," said the bartender.
Kiba let out that uncharacteristically deep, rumbling, laugh once more. He stood straight and placed one of his arms around Naruto's shoulder. Freezing upon contact, Naruto blinked curiously at the offending arm and then back at Kiba.
"No, my dear barkeeper! You have it all wrong, my friend here was just overly excited!" His hand squeezed her shoulder and she frowned at it. An inkling in hear head whispered to her to smack the thing off.
"In fact, in celebration of this blessed coincidence of happening upon such a dear friend of mine, allow me to buy this lovely lady her next drink!" Kiba declared. The bartender looked at the two of them exasperatedly. "Yeah, sure. Whad'ya want, lady?" He looked pointedly at her.
"Can I get a bottle of red to go?" She asked, Kiba's hand instantly stiffened on her shoulder. His smile turned strained as he looked at her. "You're not going to be drinking here?" He asked tersely.
"Nah, me and the girls are going to go back to my apartment," Naruto pointed at the two giggling girls standing near the exit. "Hey may not come," Kurama grouched in the background. Naruto tilted her head at Kiba, "uhm. You aren't invited." She added sheepishly.
Kiba flushed, taking his arm off her shoulders instantly.
"Y-you know what, I just remembered I-uh… I left Akamaru at home! I'll catch you later!" Kiba pushed through the crowded line leaving Naruto at the bar again. Her eyebrows knotted together in total confusion as she watched Akamaru trail behind him.
"But Akamaru is here…" She said to the retreating form.
"Bloody shinobi." The bartender shook his head as he took the money Naruto has slid over to him. "Neurotic the whole lot of 'em."
Naruto couldn't find the heart to disagree with that. She took the bottle and thanked the man as she made her way over to Sakura and Ino.
"What the hell just happened?" She asked them. Sakura shrugged while muffling down a giggle. Ino wrapped an arm around Naruto as they made their way out onto the street, "that, my dear was simply magic."
They had finally made it back to Naruto's cramped quarters with no more distractions of insane friends going through an identity crisis. And this time thankfully, Kurama was allowing the warm tingly flush of alcohol to overtake her body. She felt giddy like she could do anything! Ino and Sakura seemed to be feeling the same way because they wouldn't bloody shut up about Kakashi, but she didn't seem to bring herself to feel mortified anymore.
"You can totally get him Naruto, you're like his favourite person," Sakura said looking a little dazed, completely disregarding her previous argument that Naruto and she were too young and he wouldn't be able to see either of them in that light due to the moralistic standards of being a teacher.
"Yeah, you're totally hot as balls!" Ino added. "If we could just get you in a mini-skirt- hng" Ino started gushing. "If you would please just wear any skirt I would die happy, hee-hee." Ino giggled her eyes rolling up imagining her most unfeminine fried dolled up.
"Ino you are so damn sleazy!" Sakura hit her fist on the table as if her voice wasn't loud enough. "Why do you have to sexualise anything and everything! I'm ashamed to be associated with you!" She yelled ignoring Ino's whine "baby don't talk like that, you don't mean it."
"Enough!" Naruto declared, her glass of wine raised high in the air. "For the love of all things good in this world, can we please just shut up about boys for a moment!" She brought the glass down and held it in front of everyone above the table. "I make this claim in the sanctity of cheers!" Two hesitant hands joined to tap their glasses together.
"Okay, cheers, but know this gives me no pleasure," Ino complained as Sakura looked equally dejected. Naruto hummed in delight as she brought the foul-tasting happy juice to her lips to get another good gulp down, strongly resisting the urge to gag. She was not as seasoned in drinking as her other two companions, but she didn't lack in any enthusiasm.
As time passed Ino and Sakura kept to their promise from cheers and refrained from bringing up boys much to their dismay and even bit their tongue from trying to bring up the topic of Kakashi. Eventually, the world became non-existent and all that remained was the pleasant and deafening buzz induced by alcohol. Naruto started tapping the table in a beat, officially red-faced and smashed.
"Ehhhhh, Naruto? You gonna sing us a sooong?" Ino slurred, holding her half-empty glass of wine. She put it to her lips intending to drink it but accidentally spilt it down the front of her shirt. "Ah fuck! This is the last glass too!" She whined and pulled her stained shirt off.
Naruto continued to beat on the table. "Tailed Beast Counting Song! Alright, here we go!" She declares and sets off singing out of tune.
"Ino," Sakura hiccupped, "where did your shirt go? It just vanished out of thin air." She frowned at Ino's bra in perpetual confusion. Ino grinned and crawled over to Sakura. "Ay, you're about my size, give me your shirt," Ino started pulling at the bottom of Sakura's shirt to peel it off her. "Get off me you gremlin! You are no way my size!" Sakura protested, batting Ino's paws off her.
"Naruto! Naruto help! Ino is trying to steal my shirt because she lost her one!" Sakura called out to the girl who was now singing and dancing on the bed. Naruto paused from her groove and sat cross-legged on the bed nodding her head thoughtfully at Sakura and Ino's clothing battle.
"You didn't even sing the best part!" Kurama complained, his voice echoing throughout her head.
"Not now, Kurama! We have a serious problem on our hands!" She said loudly, ignoring the looks of confusion directed from Ino and Sakura.
"I know the solution!" Naruto yelled and slammed her fist into the palm of her hand confidently. She stepped off from the bed and began to peel her jacket off.
"Shirts are now disqualified!" She declared, pulling her black tank top off in victory. "Ehh!" Sakura cried while Ino clapped her hands enthusiastically. "Yes, future Hokage-sama!" Ino called out in glee and pounced on Sakura once more to pull her shirt off while Sakura fought for her life to keep it on.
"Aye, you three."
Their shenanigans were interrupted by a foreign male voice. The three girls looked around the room in drunken confusion.
"Over here." Standing on the windowsill was a cream-colored dog with unusual circle markings around his eyes which they vaguely recognised as one of Kakashi's ninken.
"The boss want's all three of you girlies to report to him immediately," he paused and stared at them silently for a brief moment. "You should probably put your shirts back on for it, not that I'm complaining, it's up to you." The dog chuckled before jumping off the window and back into the dead of night.
"What a dirty dog!" Sakura exclaimed. Ino silently examined Naruto. "Woah girl, when did you grow those milk makers?" Ino whistled. "Oi! Leave her bits alone!" Sakura, still very drunk pushed on the seedy girl's head.
"Yes please, don't involve my boobs Ino-chan," Naruto hiccupped a little flushed as she went to pull her tank top back on. "That's a challenge if I ever heard one!" Ino got off Sakura and started pawing her way over to Naruto, "Let me crop a feel! I've never felt D's before!" She grinned lecherously before getting held down by Sakura. "You seedy little freak!" Growled the pink-haired maiden.
When they finally made it to the Hokage towers all three girls slipped through the rather small door that was originally built for single-person entry rather clumsily. Giggling, they shoved their way through, arm in arm, causing them to stumble onto the floor in a barely dressed pile of pink faces.
Sakura's shirt was at this point ripped from neck to shoulder on her left-hand side, the shirt in question was holding on for dear life from the right side. Ino was in her bra and Naruto was probably looking the most composed in her tank top which was now inside out and her usual track pants.
"Well this is certainly unprofessional," Tsunade stated eyeing the girls severely unimpressed. "Ino, where's your shirt?" Snapped the honey-haired woman. Naruto beamed at her, she hadn't seen the old lady since she first retired after the war almost a year ago.
Ino stuck her nose up in the air, "I was informed that clothing was optional."
Kakashi looked at the girls in bewilderment. "Are you three drunk?" He asked with a quirked eyebrow, he wasn't sure what he was expecting in response, but it certainly wasn't what came next.
All three girls' heads snapped at him like a pack of wolves staring at their prey and then in an instant, they reacted. Sakura eyed him up scrutinisingly, Ino suddenly started grinning ear to ear and Naruto flushed as though she had a fever.
"Ka-ka-shi," Ino sang his name out, he didn't like this. "I can't help but notice you aren't wearing your usual hitai-ate, are you trying to smoulder us with your dark eyes." He really didn't like this.
"Kakashi-sensei, what did you expect? It's 11 pm on a Saturday," Sakura stood up and crossed her arms.
"Maa, Sakura, don't call me Kakashi-sensei, I'm no longer your teacher. Hokage-sama is fine." He crinkled his eye at her.
"Or if Hokage-sama is too formal your honourable Rokudaime-dono is also acceptable!" The three girls fell into silence.
"Nee.. how about we just call you Kakashi?" Naruto asked hesitantly. She didn't know how she felt about dropping the honorific, she called few people sensei. Iruka and Kakashi, two people she always felt a rather precious and treasured bond with. She felt as though she was betraying those people she idolised if she were to longer give them their respected title. As though her thoughts were reflected on her face the deep but light tone of Kakashi's voice brought her out of her reverie.
"Naru-chan however can call me whatever she pleases." Naruto looked up in shock at her old teacher and his closed-eyed crinkle of a smile. She felt something flutter in her. That wasn't new, she always felt exceptionally happy when he referred to her like that but right now she had become hyperaware of that feeling. It was rare that he would use terms on endearment on people. She felt herself sobering up as a genuine bright smile couldn't stop itself from taking over her face as she resisted to scratch the back of her head in embarrassment.
"Blatant favouritism!" Sakura growled and marched her way over to the desk of the Rokudaime.
Kakashi ignored the fuming girl and hummed, carefully avoiding looking at Ino. Partially for her suspicious behaviour but more so for her state of dress. Lazily he waved three sets of paper stacks as if they were dog treats, the girls scattered for them.
"Drunk or not I highly suggest you read through these assignments. I was originally intending to discuss this tonight so we could prepare immediately before our target is on the move, but I suppose we will just have to do it tomorrow." Kakashi rested his head in his hand.
"Report back to me tomorrow, let us say 7 am? Nice and early to make up for the lost time." He then waved his hand to shoo the girls out. As they started walking out of the office tiredly, already dreading the morning hangover with an early wake-up call, Kakashi made one last comment.
"Naruto, don't feel like you have to accept this mission. It is completely alright to decline."
Naruto just stared at him stupefied, slowly nodding her head as she continued to leave. Kakashi regretted nothing, not even Tsunade's eye's burning holes in his head could make him feel apologetic.
"I think tonight is enough reason to reassess this decision, Tsunade-sama?" Kakashi drawled, resting his lazy eyes on her fuming expression.