Chapter Four: Storm

Mikasa stood on the dock, watching the airship containing Jean, Connie and Onyankopon fly out across the horizon. The blue sky forced a small smile on to her face. A soft breeze ruffled her black hair, and she absentmindedly covered her mouth with the red scarf around her neck.

I've always hated you.

The phrase rang out in her head like it was being spoken in front of her. She let out a small gasp. Why was she remembering that at a time like this? A pain started behind her left eye.

It had been two weeks since she and the others returned to Paradis. Historia had been very hospitable in that time as they waited for the airship to be refueled and repaired. The Queen had even managed to secure transport of mail between the island and what was left of the rest of humanity. Mikasa hoped, at least, that the letter she wrote to Armin arrived. The small passenger plane that had delivered the letter had yet to return, but Historia attempted to assure the former Scouts members that they would be able to stay in contact with one another.

Blinking away the pain of an oncoming headache, Mikasa looked back at the plane, now just a small dot on the horizon. Her heart ached as Eren's words and the memory of that day still rang in her head. Was she making the wrong decision, not going with the others? Jean had pleaded for her to come along, noting how great of an addition she would be to the relief and rebuilding efforts. Part of her adored his attempts at staying close to her, knowing full well about his boyhood crush that had likely blossomed through their comradery. But she also knew she wasn't ready to see the destruction left in Eren's wake. It had been enough just to witness the damage that had been done on Paradis; she wasn't sure if she could take seeing the rest of the world snuffed out.

Ultimately, she had told them that she wasn't ready to let Eren go. As she touched the soft fabric of the scarf between her fingers, she realized this was probably close enough to the truth. She did miss Eren terribly, but she missed everything he was before infiltrating and starting a war with Marley. She inhaled deeply, and she swore she could still get a small hint of his scent on the scarf. She exhaled with a sigh, and as the plane carrying her friends was no longer in view, she decided to go visit Eren's grave, something she hadn't done since burying his head. A twinge of pain returned behind her eyes and she noticed grey storm clouds heading in from the north.

Rain softly tapped Mikasa's head and shoulders, but the hood of her cloak was keeping her mostly dry. Though the Scouts no longer existed, she'd found a spare green cloak emblazoned with the wings of liberty at Historia's residence. It made her a little uncomfortable to use such regalia in the wake of the Yeagerist's coup, especially so close to Shiganshina, but it did allow her to move throughout the city with little resistance from any military personnel. It was still an eerie feeling, walking through the streets she'd known for years.

She took a brief respite from the rain inside a small flower shop. The shopkeeper greeted Mikasa with a smile and a wave, and reluctantly, she gave the shopkeeper a smile and wave of her own. She wasn't necessarily looking to be social but decided to purchase some flowers for the gravesite.

"These were my daughter's favorite," the shopkeeper said as Mikasa handed him some coins and bills. "I'm glad we were able to come back here so I could put her to rest."

Mikasa let a small "Hmm" escape her throat, realizing this person had lost family during the initial attack on Wall Maria. This exchange was bringing more emotions to the surface and Mikasa felt tears stinging her eyes but blinked them away as she gave the shopkeeper another smile and exited the store.

The rain started to come down harder as Mikasa reached the outskirts of Shiganshina. From the bottom of the hill, she could see the tree, it's leaves just beginning to brown and fall. But as she approached, she could hear and unfamiliar noise that sounded like metal scraping against the earth. Furrowing her brow, she began to sprint up the hill, more of the tree coming into view. She dropped the flowers she'd just purchased as she saw two figures look up from Eren's grave, one with a shovel in hand, the other seemed to be holding the box that Mikasa recognized as Eren's coffin of sorts. As they saw Mikasa, they began to run away.

"Hey!" she called out to them, trying to catch up to the pair. She had some trouble getting solid footing on the wet ground, but the two graverobbers seemed to be struggling more. Mikasa grit her teeth and pushed forward harder up and then back down the hill. One of the men slipped and fully fell and she saw the box he'd be holding tumble across the grass. This was her opportunity to catch at least one of them. Anger blurred her vision as she rolled and caught the stumbled man by the knees as he was just regaining his footing. More agile than the man she was grappling, Mikasa managed to pin him on the ground. She growled and with one hand grasping his shirt collar, she cocked her other fist and prepared for a strike.

"What the fuck are you two doing?!" she screamed in his face. Her eyes were wild with rage, but she restrained herself from punching the man.

"P-please, d-d-don't," the man sputtered out, covering his face with his hands.

"I'm not going to ask you again," Mikasa warned through gritted teeth. "What are you doing here?"

"Please don't h-hurt me," the man whimpered. "W-we were paid to retrieve the head of Eren Yeager," he said sheepishly.

Stunned, Mikasa dropped her fist, but didn't loosen her grip on the man's collar. "What?" she gasped out almost unintentionally.

"B-but there wasn't anything there," the man continued. "The box was empty already."

Slowly, Mikasa got up and allowed the man to leave. She lifelessly walked to the box the man had dropped earlier as he scurried away before she changed her mind to harm him. Wide-eyed she stared at the empty wooden box as rain soaked her hair. Time seemed like it stopped as Mikasa replayed the events of Eren's death in her mind. She'd carried the head in her arms herself. She found the box among some small supplies on the ship they took back to Paradis after Jean and Connie proclaimed it was "creepy" she was just holding his head the whole way. She buried the box herself, but…

Her mind raced as she tried to remember ever looking at his lifeless head again. Reeling, she found the shovel the men had also dropped and walked back up to the base of the tree. It didn't make any sense. Decomposition took much longer than two weeks, she knew that much. But she also felt the weight of his head in her arms before. The box never left her sight when they arrived on Paradis. She struggled to find any sort of reasoning as she absentmindedly buried the box at the base of the tree again. Why was she bothering to do this? She sighed, covering the hole with a mound of wet dirt. The rain started to slow a bit and she pulled the hood of her cloak back over her face. Slowly, she walked back to where she'd dropped the flowers and picked them back up to place at Eren's grave. It made no sense for there to be nothing inside the box, but now it was simply just for her. Just a spot for her to remember the boy she'd loved. Her chest felt heavy as she placed the flowers on top of the mound. She let a few tears fall down her cheeks, and briefly regretted not leaving Paradis with the others.