AN: Hello! I hope you are all well. Thank you so much for reading my new fic. So, I know I haven't posted on Blue Moon Magic for awhile now. I have to possible ways to end it and I'm just completely stuck on deciding which way to go. So, to make up for keeping you all in limbo, I've written this Tonks and Remus short fic! This is part 1 or 2. I'll post part 2 over the weekend if you like part 1 :).

Part 1

*** Sharp slivers of his heart

He had sat in the small room so long, letter in hand, staring out of the window; that the light had all but faded, his face illuminated now by only the sliver of moon which hung in the sky, peaking between the clouds. Still, he couldn't bring himself to move. The chair he'd dropped into as he'd read the last words she'd ever say to him, was where he had stayed since.

Had it been hours, days? He honestly wasn't sure – it was as though his body had shut down. The darkness told him it must have been at least 12 hours, since he'd found her note, left by their bed, on her nightstand. Yet his body hadn't nudged him, reminding him to eat or drink, hadn't told him to move, he had just sat, still in the chair by the bed, facing the window, staring at the moon. For the first time in his life, he had hated its crescent shape – wishing instead it was hole, that it would pull him into the oblivion of his altered state. At least in his wolfish form, he didn't have to feel.

He had thought they'd been happy. Or at least, he thought she'd been happy. He'd been…content. After the war, his initial reaction had been to walk. To walk away and to keep on walking. Almost everyone he had loved and cared for had been wiped out. Walking was the only thing that had stopped him from completely losing his mind. Somehow, he'd managed to shut it off instead, focusing only on putting one foot in front of the other. He'd moved from place to place, mainly around Germany and Switzerland. Stopping when he needed to work, when he needed money, then he'd start walking again. Those first few years had passed without marking, his only knowledge of months was by guessing from the weather. Of course, certain days of the year were obvious due to the celebrations, the decorations - Christmas, Bonfire Night, Halloween.

It was the fourth anniversary of – it all, when he'd met her. He had wondered out, not realising what day it was until it was too late; he was surrounded by muggle children, dressed up in costume, their parents following them, trying to dissuade them from eating too many sweets. He'd considered turning back and hiding in his small but safe room, but something had settled in his stomach, a resolve that is was time. Time to be able to remember, even celebrate his friends on this night, the night they had sacrificed everything for the sake of the wizarding world. He owed them that much.

He'd met her in a bar. There was nothing special about it, somewhere in between dingy and pricey, it was just a local's place. He'd been in a few times, but he had never seen anyone like her in before. She was pretty, his mind immediately told him, attractive, sexy. That had been a shock. He'd spent the past four years, walking past hundreds of people, smiling politely when he bought groceries, but it was as though he hadn't seen a single one.

But he'd seen her.

He'd almost turned around there and then and started walking once more, but he knew he needed to move forward, and to do so, he'd have to stop walking. He'd sat at the bar and ordered a whiskey. The minute she sat next to him; he'd known she was a witch. There was an energy that emanated from her, an electricity that only came from being a powerful, magical being. He'd told her about his friends that night, about James, Lily, and poor little Peter. She'd toasted them with him, helped him remember them. It had felt bittersweet. He was finally able to think about his friends, without immediately imaging their demise. The next 10 months had been a whirlwind of comfort and companionship. Of cherishing the memory of the highs and finally mourning the lows. She was by his side every day, supporting him, holding him, loving him.

That was the crux of it all really. He'd shared his tiny flat with her, his food, his bed and even though he'd shared with her stories about his friends, stories he'd never thought he'd tell again, the one thing he couldn't offer her, the only thing that wasn't available to share was his heart. That had been cracked when he was four years old, as he'd watched his own Mother and Father grow fearful of him on the first night the moon had claimed him. Later it had shattered utterly, the night three of his best friends had died at the hands of the other. With her by his side, he'd been able to move on, place the fragile, sharp slivers of his heart that were left in a box and lock it away, sure that one more blow and it would be all over, that he'd be no more.

Remus, my darling,

I do not leave in anger, nor do I regret this time we have shared.

I love you Remus, I think you've known that for a long time. But I cannot love alone. It's too hard Remus and I cannot do it anymore.

I hope that one day my darling, you will meet someone worth the risk. That you will offer her your heart as freely as you offered me your kindness, warmth, wit and generosity.

And oh, how I pray, my dearest Remus, that'll she be worthy of your love.

Please stop hiding yourself from the world Remus. The wolf is winning – but only because you let its long shadow hide the man that I know you to be. The man that James, Lily and Peter loved whole heartedly.

The man that I still love, and always will.

When she comes Remus, the one who is strong enough to break through all the fortresses that guard your heart, don't push her away. Let her love you Remus and love her fiercely in return.

Forever Yours,

Casandra.

*** Mystery Woman

"Buggering, bludgeoning, bloody buffoon!" The mutterings coming from the cooking aisle of the quaint little bookshop in a back street of Soho, were certainly out of the ordinary for this quiet little shop. Remus couldn't help but chuckle a little as he turned the corner and saw a woman, shorter than he was, though an average height for a woman he supposed, her boot glad feet, surrounded by a pile of books. Judging by the way she was rubbing her head; she hadn't put them there.

"Are you okay miss?" Remus asked, wandering towards her. As she looked up, he slowed. She wasn't what he'd been expecting. He hadn't realised until that moment that he'd already made assumptions about her just form hearing four words and seeing that she had knocked some books off of a shelf, but clearly, he had. For a second, he felt winded. It seemed terribly cliché, but it was as though she'd knocked the breath right out of him. She was beautiful. Her pale heart shaped face was framed perfectly by pink curls that bounced just above, but never quite touched her shoulders. She was magical of course, a witch, he was certain about that. But the energy that radiated from her had nothing to do with the magic coursing through her veins, to Remus this was something entirely new, an energy like nothing he'd ever seen before. She was literally breath-taking. Her voice, pulled him from his appraisal.

"I'm fine. Sorry if I bothered your browsing. I can't even bloody pick out a book without causing a scene. I don't know what I was thinking, I'll never able to cook a whole bloody meal without blowing up my kitchen. Not that anyone would notice, it's such a mess anyway."

Remus couldn't help but smile at her rambling. She was delightful. Even though she was clearing not having a great day, she radiated warmth. He chuckled a little too loudly.

"Oh I see, you're one of them are you? You find mirth in other peoples misfortunes, well Mr, you've come to the right person, I make such a mess of things, tripping over my own feet with such regularity that I could probably keep you in hysterics for the rest of your days."

Remus tried to gain control of his facial muscles and look somewhat remorseful, though he was sure she would still be able to see the smirk on his face. "I'm sorry, that was unkind of me and I wouldn't certainly never laugh at you if you fell over. At least no until I'd helped you up." Remus' eyes twinkled and she annoyingly found him charming and endearing. "May I help you…"

She began to pick up the books which were scattered up and down the aisle, Remus knelt to help her and once again he had to try not to laugh. How had she managed to take out almost three shelves of books? When they both stood again, Remus was much closer than he'd been before, though still far enough away to be polite. "Thank you." She spoke much quieter this time, looking at him for much longer than was necessary.

"No problem," Remus said as he took a small step backwards. "Did you at least find what you were looking for?"

The woman shook her head and looked up at the top shelf. "Why they insist of having shelves that high, I really don't know, it's not as if anyone could…" Remus had leaned over her and picked the one book that remained on the top shelf. "Show off." She said, smiling as he handed her the book. "Thank you". She added. For a moment the pair stood looking at each other, smiling, but saying nothing.

Suddenly she blinked several times and shook her head.

"Well, I'll leave you to your cookbooks." Remus said, turning and walking away from her.

"Thank you again!" She called, causing him to turn around.

"You're welcome. I wouldn't stand there too long; you never know when you might get attacked by a load of falling books." He smiled as she did the same.

"Might almost be worth the risk if you'll be there to help me out again."

Remus chuckled again and the woman waved at him as he began to walk away.

As he left the shop, he tried not to allow the sombre thoughts that so desperately wanted to drag him down to take a hold. But it was hard not to think of the what might have beens…

If he were not a slave to the moon, he wouldn't have walked away from her parting line, he'd have made some joke about only risking book beatings once a week and suggested they retreat to the safety of a coffee shop… he'd have wooed her… got to know her…and then, who knew?

Remus shook his head. It had been a long time since he'd noticed a woman. Not since Casandra had he allowed himself to get caught up in anything more than mild flirtation with someone, he knew that was not something he could afford to allow into his life. He was far too adept at hurting the women he cared for – even when he tried his hardest to do exactly the opposite. After Casandra Remus hadn't known what to do or where to go, but eventually he'd met someone else, but he'd never been able to get past the first date, knowing that whatever the journey it would always end in the same place, him unable to fully commit and another heart broken because of him. So eventually he'd stopped going on dates altogether. It was easier that way, less painful. It had been years since he'd even smiled a pretty woman.

No, the beautiful, warm, funny woman from the bookshop, would remain a mystery to him, just another 'what if'.

*** Making Cupcakes

Tonks stumbled into her 5th floor flat. As an Auror she saw herself as a fit, capable young woman. Until every time she climbed the stairs to her door and felt sure her heart was about to explode. She definitely needed more cardio in her life. It would help of course if her colleagues and herself were actually allowed to be out doing their jobs.

Since joining the Ministry, she'd never felt the need to even contemplate exercising outside of work, she spent so much of her time chasing suspects, duelling, and running around the ministry, liaising with different departments. However, in the past few months all of that had slowed until suddenly she'd realised, she was barely leaving her desk. No one within the Ministry was talking to anyone, her own colleagues barely spoke to her, let alone anyone outside of their own team. The odd jobs she was sent out to investigate never ended in high speed chases because they were usually either tips from batty, bored people with nothing better to do than complain about kids playing too loudly, or yet another suspected Black sighting and of course those always ended up turning out to be nonsense. Most of her time she may as well have been chained to her desk. She'd started taking extra trips to the bathroom just to give her something to do – her colleagues all being men, probably just thought it was because she was on her period or something, even though she did it every single day – idiots.

She'd gone from loving her job and her colleagues to hating their stupid faces. Though in her more rational moments, she could accept that none of this was their fault, she was still frustrated with them. It seemed to only be her complaining in their weekly meetings with Scrimgeour. None of her counterparts seemed to be questioning why they weren't chasing down the death eaters who had set off the dark mark at the Quidditch World Cup or hunting down known Voldemort sympathisers. It was also the same colleagues that had once professed to having her back, who would sit silently, whilst Scrimgeour gave her a dressing down, telling them all that rumours of Voldemort's return were utter nonsense that only morons would believe.

She supposed that's why she was going through so much effort for tonight. She knew that whilst Kingsley didn't openly support her in meetings, that he was supportive of her in private, when he met with Scrimgeour, in fact she was pretty sure that Kingsley was the only reason she hadn't been demoted to desk duty permanently. So, when he'd asked if she was free to meet him outside of work for dinner, she'd been only too happy to accept. Though he'd told her she didn't need to bring anything, she'd insisted and so he'd suggested she bring dessert and here she was…

Stood in the middle of her kitchen, clean for the first time in a month, staring at a recipe in the muggle cookbook she'd bought that morning as if it was a hardened criminal she was about to interrogate. No such luck, she thought – this was going to be much harder than getting a confession.

She was attempting to make cupcakes.

Tonks shuddered. Though she was a capable and independent person, able to perform some of the hardest magic known, she had never quite been able to master cookery spell. She had learned to cook herself a few basic meals using old fashioned muggle recipes, but she'd never even dared trying baking.

All she needed to do was a follow a recipe – right? How hard could it be? She could read, she could do basic maths, she could work her oven… She could do this…

Two hours later, a whole lot of wasted ingredients and once again, a kitchen which looked like it had just about survived an explosion, Tonks was on her way to meet Kingsley. It was only once she'd left the house and looked at the meeting place, he'd scribbled down for her that she realised she wasn't heading to his house. She knew that Kingsley and his wife lived in Kensington. She'd only been there once, not long after they'd moved in, but she remembered because she was terrified, she was going to break something the entire time she was there. Their house was beautiful, like a show home, with so many expensive looking things she knew she could so easily break just given the chance to walk past them.

No, the meeting place Kingsley had given her, didn't even seem to be an address at all, just the name of a park in Islington. Definitely nowhere near as nice an area as Kensington. Was it possible that Tonks had isolated herself so much at work recently that Kingsley hadn't told her he was moving to a new house? It seemed unlikely.

Tonks apparated to the park, holding the beautifully decorated cupcakes carefully in her arms. Kingsley was already waiting for her, when she arrived and strode over to her smiling.

"You made it and you brought cupcakes!"

Tonks smiled, "I said I'd bring dessert."

Kingsley chuckled, "Yeah, but knowing you, I just assumed that meant you'd grab a box of doughnuts like you usually do."

Tonks punched Kingsley in the arm playfully. "Hey! I'll have you know I slaved away in my kitchen all afternoon making cupcakes!"

Kingsley held up his hands in mock surrender, "Okay, okay! I'm sorry. I mean personally, I like the doughnuts…"

Tonks stared at him with what she hoped was a menacing glare.

"But I'm sure these will be even better." He laughed.

Tonks smiled finally, "thank you. So, tell me, where are we?" They had begun to walk across the park. "Or better still, where are we going? Don't you and Lara live in Kensington? Kingsley, I've told you before, I will not have a torrid affair with you. For one, I'd never date a co-worker, for another, Lara terrifies me – oh she's all prim and proper on the surface, but I've seen her duel, she could take us both down with a swish of her wand without so much as a hair falling out of place and thirdly, and I say this with all the sincerity in the world," Tonks placed her hand on Kingsley's arm to stop him, moving her hand to his chest she smiled, "I really, really don't like you. Like at all. I've never understood what Lara sees in you, but you'd be a fool if you ever so much as even looked at another woman."

Kingsley laughed heartily. "Thanks Tonks. I do like hearing how your list of reasons why we should never have an affair changes each time you tell me. Not that I've ever asked mind… Lara was incredibly upset when I told her I was seeing you tonight – not that she minds, she was just disappointed she wouldn't get to see you. I think she enjoys watching you torment me."

Tonks grimaced, "Wait, I'm not having dinner with you and Lara? Kingsley, you really have lured me our here under false pretences."

Kingsley smiled sheepishly. "No false pretence… I promised you dinner and there will be dinner. I couldn't exactly explain where we are going tonight if I tried. But we are nearly there."

"Nearly where?" Tonks cried. "Kingsley don't make me hex you. I'm already getting on Scrimgeour's nerves, imagine how pissed he'll be if he finds me filling in paperwork explaining that I hexed my colleague for being an annoying sod."

Kingsley chuckled again but sobered quickly. "Actually, Scrimgeour being less than happy with you, with the things you've been saying is kind of why we're here." Kingsley stopped walking.

Tonks looked around her. They seemed to be on a dingy street on the other side of the park. The houses here looked like town houses, a little run down but nothing a lick of paint couldn't solve. Tonks was sure that back in their day, they would have been very fine, very expensive houses indeed. She still didn't have any clue where she was or what they were doing in this part of London.

"Tonks," Kingsley, all mirth gone from his voice was looking down at her. Gone was her playful co-worker, instead she was looking at Auror Kingsley, "You do trust me, don't you?"

Tonks was taken aback by his serious tone. "Of course, I trust you, you wally."

Kingsley chuckled, "Good. Read this."

*** Waddiwasi

When he saw her, here at Grimmauld Place, the newest member of the Order of the Phoenix, his first thoughts, he was now ashamed to admit, had been an escape plan. He'd mentally been deciding what to pack, where to go, how he could explain his haste to leave to Sirius and Dumbledore. It was his default, to walk away and just keep walking. Still, as the meeting had gone on and he'd watched her chat amiably to everyone over dinner afterwards, he'd managed to calm down. Yes, she was beautiful, he was definitely attracted to her and so he'd flirted with her a little in a book shop earlier that day – it really wasn't a big deal, he didn't even know her. He was needed here, as part of the Order, as support for Sirius and Harry… he was needed – that thought was a still a little alien to Remus. By the time Sirius was introducing them, Remus was certain he could put this afternoon out of his mind and work alongside her as though he was working with Kingsley or Hestia.

"Hey aren't you… didn't we meet…"

Remus smiled, "I'm glad to see there was no lasting damage. I suppose it's just lucky you weren't in the classics section, if War and Peace had fallen on your head, we'd have been making a trip to St Mungo's." He found her replying smile infectious.

"Oh, I have definitely had my eyes open today to the dangers of book shops. I think I'll start a group immediately, try and make hard hats mandatory at ever Bookshop up and down the country."

The pair chatted amiably as other members of the Order began slipping away. Sirius was engrossed in a conversation with Bill Weasley and Remus could see he was happy to have lots of people around to talk to.

"I see the cookbooks were just the thing." Remus said, motioning with his head to the plate that held only 2 cupcakes left. I've been hearing that they were delicious."

Tonks looked around the room conspiratorially then lent in towards Remus and asked, very seriously. "Can you keep a secret."

Remus' eyes flickered over to Sirius, "I should say so…"

Tonks nodded, still looking very serious, "I bought them. I tried to make my own, really, I did! Tonks whined. "But it was so hard, and they kept turning out looking more like biscuits than cupcakes, so I bought them on my way here from a little bakery near my flat."

Remus shook his head.

"I hadn't planned to pass them off as my own handiwork, but then Kingsley teased me earlier and Molly seemed to happy to think that somehow the cooking lessons she'd tried to give me when I was a teenager had finally paid off. How could I disappoint Molly Weasley?!"

Remus nodded, "I'll give you that. There is something about Molly, no matter how old I get, disapproval from her always makes me feel as though I'm five and being given a scolding from my Mother."

Tonks chuckled, "I bet there were a lot of those."

Remus smiled, his eye sparkling in the dimming kitchen light, "Oh hundreds, if not thousands. I was utterly uncontrollable."

"Uhuh," Tonks said nodding, "that bad aye?"

"Oh worse!" Said Remus. "In trouble constantly. Starting fist fights with strangers, beating up gnomes for no good reason."

Tonks nodded again, "You were incredibly well behaved and never stepped a toe out of line, right?"

Remus smiled, "Yeah, pretty much. In my defence, I was friends with Sirius, so one of us at least had to be sensible."

Tonks looked over at her cousin, before looking back to Remus, "He looks happy. I can't imagine what he's been through. I'm so glad I get to spend time with him, that I'll be able to get to know him."

Remus smiled, "He'll like that. He always did love your Mum like a sister."

Tonks smiled a wicked grin, "Oh reaaaally? Maybe I should call him Uncle Sirius then."

Remus laughed uncharacteristically loudly, "Oh I'd love to see that. Normally I'd say he'd hex you but having heard from Kingsley how you flattened Sirius and had his wand with just a swish of your own, I'm not so sure he'd dare."

Tonks chuckled, "What can I say – you're never really off duty as an Auror. I mean what was Kingsley expecting would happen. He brings me into a dark house, which is clearly teeming with horrifying dark magic and then tells me the mass murderer we've all been hunting for the past 18 months is actually innocent and oh, by the way, here he is!" Tonks leaned into Remus, once more looking around the room as though she was about to share some big secret. "Are we sure Sirius hasn't pissed Kingsley off somehow? He's worked with me long enough; he knew that Sirius was going to end up on his back."

Remus laughed again, he couldn't help it, she was so affable and her suggest wiggles of her eyebrows were impressively comical. "As Sirius' oldest friend, I think I can say with almost 100% certainty that anyone, who has ever spent more than 10 minutes with him, would happy see Sirius hexed onto his back."

"Mmm." Tonks was looking over towards her cousin nodding, she turned back to Remus, "Yes, I can already understand that. I think if he refers to me as his 'little Nymphie' one more time, I will have to show him some of my more inventive hexes."

Remus raised his eyebrows, "Oh I think I'd like to see that… done to someone else."

Tonks laughed, "You're a wise man, Remus Lupin." Tonks rubbed her hand over her face, clearly tired. "Well, I should probably get going, this has all been… a lot. I still need to process everything and figure out how I'm meant to just go back to work tomorrow and be…normal. Any tips?"

Remus nodded, "Yes, it'll take some time. Be kind to yourself, leading a double life is hard. Try and keep as close to the truth as possible without giving too much away. Lie as little as possible. For instance, if you're coming here to Headquarters, tell colleagues you're spending the evening with family. Think of it as long-term undercover work."

Tonks nodded. "Thanks, that's helpful." She got up and Remus offered to walk her out.

"Goodnight my little Nymphie." Sirius shouted as she said goodbye to everyone. She grimaced, but still promised him she'd drop by over the weekend so they could catch up properly – hopefully by then she'd be over the initial shock.

As her and Remus reached the kitchen door, Tonks turned and stared at Sirius, her eyes narrowed. "You're thinking about what hex to use on him first aren't you?" Remus asked, chuckling.

Tonks nodded thoughtfully, "Yep. I cannot tell you how much I hate being called anything that remotely links to my first name. I find people like Sirius don't always respond to me just asking nicely."

Remus laughed, he couldn't take his eyes of her and she sized up her cousin. "Alas, I think tonight has all been a bit too much, I'm coming up blank."

Remus gently touched her elbow leading her through the door and up the stairs out of the kitchen, halfway up he stopped her, "Don't worry, I've got you covered for tonight." With that he swished his wand towards the room they'd just left, then motioned for her to keep moving up the stairs. They'd barely reached the top step when she heard Sirius bellow.

"Remus fucking Lupin! You're 35 years old for Merlin's sake! Waddiwasi? Really?"

Tonks was beaming, "What is wasiwasi?"

Remus stopped at the door, where they were safely past the portrait of Sirius' Mother. "Waddiwasi. It's a little hex I invented just for Sirius, for when he was annoying me the most, which when we were in school was pretty much every day."

"Wicked!" Exclaimed Tonks, her eyes shining, even in the dimly light corridor. "What does it do?"

Remus shrugged, "Oh nothing much…" then he beamed at her, "Just takes that bloody chewing gum he's always munching on and sticks it up his nose, or in his hair, under his shoe, wherever I feel it'll annoy him most really."

Tonks mouth opened wide in surprise. "That is brilliant. Completely and utterly brilliant. You know, I think you and I might just have become best friends Remus Lupin."

So I hope you've enjoyed this so far, part 2 is already written, so if you enjoyed this, please leave me a comment and let me know and I'll post the last part over the weekend. Stay safe and thanks for reading!