Chapter 7: Sadness
Two days out from the Berbil village, the Thundertank pulled into an idyllic paradise; the cats emerged and were amazed by the countryside; the woods would provide good hunting, and a waterfall poured into a dazzlingly clear pool surrounded by willow trees. Cheetara thought it was the perfect setting to meditate and reflect, but the kittens had other ideas.
"Swimming!" they shouted happily.
Cheetara smiled. "Or a proper bath."
"I think we can do both," Tygra said, winking at Cheetara, "but ladies first."
Lion-O secretly agreed with the kittens and laughed, Snarf meowed, and Panthro grumbled something that no one heard clearly.
The cats headed back to the tank, where Cheetara and Kit gathered what they needed to pamper themselves. Snarf scampered after Kit, who was his favorite after Lion-O, but she shook her head.
"You have to wait with the boys," she told him. "And no peeking!"
When they reached the pool, Kit stripped down and ran exuberantly into the water. Cheetara sat down beneath a willow tree and placed the small leather pouch she carried on the ground beside her. She soon lost herself in the sunlight bouncing off the water and the soft sigh of the wind rustling through the trees. Her thoughts filled with people she loved and who were no longer with her. Nana. Nimrim. Kefira. She missed them all so very much, and the loss of Nimrim was still a raw and open wound on her heart. Cheetara didn't realize her cheeks were wet until Kit, wrapped in a towel, plopped down beside her.
"Why are you crying?" the kitten looked bewildered.
Cheetara wiped away the tears. "I'm thinking of lost friends—a lost way of life."
For one so young, Kit was amazingly perceptive and empathetic. She placed her small hand on Cheetara's. "I'm sorry."
"I really haven't had the chance to mourn with everything that's happened," the cleric's voice was hushed. "Sitting here, in this peaceful place, it all just came crashing down."
"Sometimes I think about my papa and mama, and the twins and I feel sad, too."
"What happened to your family?"
"We lost papa in a twister—he was carried away before he could get to safety." Her little face fell in remembrance. "Kat and I left home to find El-Dara, the city of treasure, to help out. We didn't want mama to struggle with four mouths to feed."
"Oh, Kit!" Cheetara wrapped her arms around the kitten and hugged her close. "That was very brave and selfless of you and Kat. Where does your family live?"
"On a farm far from Thundera. We haven't heard from anyone since we left."
Cheetara realized Kit didn't know if her mother and siblings were alive or not, thanks to Mumm-Ra's war terrorizing Third Earth. She hugged the kitten harder and stroked her head.
After a while, Kit wriggled free. "Don't you want that proper bath?"
Cheetara laughed and stood up. Kit couldn't help watching as the cheetah removed her clothes. She was beautiful. Cheetara's slender frame was all long shapely limbs and surprisingly voluptuous curves. Her fur was golden-brown with black spots on her upper arms, hips, and the small of her back; a patch of golden fur covered the mound between her legs. Cheetara piled her long thick hair on top of her head, and Kit saw that black dots also marked the nape of her neck. No wonder Lion-O and Tygra like her, she thought. The older female folded her garments carefully, then waded into the water. Kit looked down at her woefully undeveloped little girl's body and wished she looked more like the cheetah.
Cheetara was unaware of Kit's scrutiny. She sighed and luxuriated in the sun's warmth on her bareness before disappearing beneath the water. When she surfaced again, droplets of water dripped off her body and sparkled in the sunlight; Kit thought the cheetah looked like some shimmering cat goddess. Cheetara was surprised to see Kit still lingered at the edge of the pool.
She beckoned the kitten forward. "Would you bring me the pouch I left behind?"
Kit grabbed the small leather bag, threw off her towel, and splashed into the water.
Cheetara leaned back; golden hair spread out in the water behind her, and the black spots sprinkled throughout the mass looked as if they were hitching a ride. "This feels wonderful," she practically sang.
Kit nodded, tossed Cheetara the bag, and swam in a circle around her. The cleric rubbed fragrant leaves across her fur before ducking beneath the water to rinse. At length, she washed the kitten's furry ears before tackling her own hair. Kit purred softly as Cheetara's strong fingers massaged her scalp—it felt so good and reminded her of mama. She closed her eyes, listened to the birds calling to each other from the trees, and her mind drifted.
"Why did you choose Tygra?"
Cheetara's fingers ceased moving instantly. The question was wholly unexpected, especially coming from a kitten who was barely ten years old. Cheetara was not used to sharing her private thoughts and feelings; as a cleric, she'd been trained not to. She'd only recently begun to break the habit, and only with the cat she'd given her heart to.
Cheetara gave Kit's fur one final rinse. "Why do you ask?"
The kitten shrugged. "Just curious."
"Don't you like Tygra?"
"Yes!" Kit did not hesitate. "He's kind and makes sure we're okay when things get scary." She wiped water from her eyes and turned to Cheetara. "It's just that," her voice was a mixture of awe and adulation, "Lion-O's the king."
Cheetara smiled. "Yes, but the heart wants what the heart wants." Her smile deepened. She'd only been a little older than Kit was now when her heart settled on Tygra, although it had taken her a bit longer to recognize and accept it. "And then it's a kind of magic, like lightning in a bottle. It's a powerful attraction, a wildfire rushing through—" Cheetara's voice trailed off when she saw Kit's muddled expression. "Well, you'll understand when you're older."
This answer totally confused Kit. It wasn't an answer at all, at least not one that made any sense, and the kitten doubted it would make any more sense when she was older.
-v-v-v-
The male cats hit the pool in the afternoon. They were more interested in roughhousing and dunking each other under the water than bathing; even Panthro took part in the fun. It was a good time for all, and the tension between the brothers evaporated for a while. One by one, they crawled onto the bank and stretched out naked in the sun, dozing as their fur dried. An hour later, Kat's stomach rumbled.
"I'm starving," he announced, and Snarf meowed in agreement.
Panthro's good eye cracked open. "You're always starving," he snorted.
"I'm a growing cat!"
Lion-O picked himself up and stretched. "Guess it's my turn to hunt." He cocked his head toward the kitten as he dressed. "You should come along. You're old enough to see how it's done."
Kat was not expecting this response and fumbled for an excuse. The panther was his unlikely savior.
"Not a good idea unless you want dinner chased off because it's cute."
Tygra groaned. "We don't want that."
"No, we really don't." Lion-O grabbed the claw shield and headed for the woods.
-v-v-v-
The Thundertank didn't require constant attention since the latest Berbil upgrade. In fact, the tank was like a brand-new machine fresh off the assembly line. Not only had Ro-Bear Bill and his crew transformed the tank into a first-class battle machine, but they'd also given it a detachable mobile base and housing unit that they christened the Sabertank. The improvement was appreciated by everyone; each cat had a small but private sleeping pad where they could rest at night or simply go to be alone. But Panthro found ways to entertain himself by double-checking weapons and automated systems, and the general turned his attention to these details when they returned from the pool.
Kat ran off to find his sister, who was somewhere playing with Snarf, and Tygra went to work setting up the spit for Lion-O's bag. The bath had invigorated Cheetara's body, but her mood was still a bit melancholy, and she retreated to her pad. Lion-O returned with the meat of a Chib-Chib. The unpleasant work of preparing the kill for cooking had been completed in the woods, much to Kit and Kat's relief. Tygra seasoned the meat and placed it on the spit over the fire.
The cats sat back and discussed the lizard war, Mumm-Ra, and finding the next stone. The sky darkened, stars peeked through the inky canvas, and soon the delicious aroma of cooking meat filled the air, causing hungry mouths to water, and Tygra realized he hadn't seen Cheetara in a good while. Where was she? Tygra set aside a portion of meat for the missing cleric andleft the others enjoying their meal to look for her.
Somehow, she'd left the Sabertank without anyone noticing, and he found her in the velvety darkness, sitting poolside under a willow tree. He sat down beside her, taking care not to invade her space. Cheetara's eyes were closed, and she was in the familiar pose of a cleric deep in reflection. Tygra's gaze swept over the cheetah, and he thought, for perhaps the millionth time, how lucky he was to have her in his life. Cheetara was aware of his presence. Tygra's scent invaded her senses; his essence pulled at her, but Cheetara resisted. She needed to work through her emotions, to embrace the profound sadness she felt and hadn't dealt with. Tygra was patient, and he could wait.
Lion-O was worried when Tygra returned alone. Despite the resentment he'd shown her, Lion-O still had a soft spot in his heart for the cleric. "Did you find her?" He tried to keep his voice neutral.
Tygra was unconcerned and nodded. "She needs some time alone."
Lion-O was surprised that his brother would leave the woman he claimed to love alone in the dark in an unfamiliar place, then he checked himself. How many times did he need to be reminded that Cheetara wasn't some helpless noble female from his father's court? She was a Thundercat, and she could take care of herself. If she wanted to be alone, Tygra left her alone. How very mature of him, Lion-O thought uncharitably. But he couldn't ignore the truth of it, and it didn't matter if he didn't understand when or how. There was a strong bond between his guardian and his brother. His bitterness was never going to change that fact.
No matter how safe their surroundings seemed, the adult cats took turns standing guard during the night. Tygra volunteered for the first watch, and the others wandered off to their sleeping pads. The tiger snapped his whip, then checked his gun. If she needed him, he'd be ready.
-v-v-v-
Darkness was fading when Cheetara stepped from the woods; the camp was quiet, and the tank's rear door was closed. She saw Panthro standing guard atop the tank; his nunchucks dangled from his neck. She waved and let herself inside the motorized fortress.
Cheetara slipped quietly past sleeping pads until she reached his. She pushed the sliding door aside and entered. Cheetara couldn't help admiring Tygra. He was a work of art in repose. She knew he preferred sleeping nude, and she caressed his body with her eyes. Her jeweled gaze skimmed across his handsome face with its bold marking, relaxed in sleep, to his sculpted furred chest rising above the thin blanket to a perfectly muscled striped leg thrown atop the cover. Cheetara's breath caught in her throat, and she wondered if the day would ever come when she'd be able to look at him and not feel the heat of desire. She sat on the edge of his bunk and whispered, "I love you."
It was first light, and Tygra was awakened by a kiss. Cheetara rubbed her nose against his cheek and waited for his eyes to open. When they did, she smiled.
"Thank you."
"For?" His voice was husky with sleep.
"Last night."
Tygra's mind raced backward; they hadn't been together, so she wasn't referring to sex, then he remembered; he'd given her space when she needed it. Now fully alert, Tygra pushed himself upright and pressed his back against the wall. Amber eyes searched her face, trying to gauge her mood.
"Did you just get in?"
She nodded and lay her head against his shoulder, in the place where it met with his neck and concentrated on the steady beat of his heart beneath her hand; it was soothing.
His arms closed around her. "Is everything all right?"
"Grief caught up with me yesterday," she murmured, "and I needed…to…just be sad, to process."
"I suspect it will come and go," Tygra said. "It does for me." He nuzzled her hair. "I know it's not much, but if there's anything I can do—"
"I'll let you know." Her heart overflowed with love for him. No, it's not much, she thought. It's everything.