Author's Note: Welcome back to everyone finally getting email notifications after a few months! Apparently that was an issue with some users, not all. Sorry you missed out on my super regular updating schedule. Lol. Not sure what the issue was, but it was something to do with the site itself. Don't forget that I always announce my updates on Facebook in the group The Death Eater Express and on my Tumblr and now my Twitter. If you follow me at any of those three places, you should know when I update (or post a new story like I did last week) even if FFN can't get their shit together.

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Desperately Hermione wanted to believe it was all an innocent mistake. Maybe Craig left the window open for Endora in the bathroom instead of the one she usually used in the kitchen. The owl was getting older. She could've been confused and dropped her delivery in the wrong room before she flew off to hunt for her dinner. That was a plausible reason for a letter to be sitting on her windowsill, wasn't it?

Except she knew it was a foolish idea. She knew what it was before she even crossed the room to pick it up. Her hands trembled as she reached for the envelope. Her name was scribbled across the front with a familiar flourish leaving no room for doubts who the letter was from.

I liked the windows better in your old house.

Her knees felt like they could no longer hold her full weight. She feared she was going to faint. Antonin had been there. He knew where she lived and he'd fucking been there. The overwhelming urge to be sick came over her suddenly. She almost didn't make it to the toilet before she started throwing up everything she had inside her stomach.

"Are you okay, love?"

Craig didn't even bother to knock before pushing the bathroom door open. He was worried. If she hadn't been in the midst of being sick, she might have had the sense to be embarrassed by him running in there to check on her because her vomiting was loud enough to be heard in the next room.

His large, gentle hands reaching for her unruly, curly hair nearly made her cry. With one hand keeping a firm hold on her hair, he used the other to rub soothing circles up and down her back. The calm, whispered reassurances that she would be all right finally pushed her over the emotional edge. She let the tears flow freely down her cheeks as if she had nothing to be ashamed of. What had she done in her life to deserve such kindness from a man like him? Absolutely nothing.

When there was nothing left to expel from her body, Hermione sat back up against the tub. She knew she must look a frightful mess. Maybe Craig would take one look at her tear-streaked red face and decide he wanted nothing more to do with her. She wouldn't blame him. But, of course, loyal, caring Hufflepuff that he was, Craig didn't run. He handed her a clean towel to wipe her face and mouth on and a glass of cold water he conjured. All mess she'd made, inside and outside of the toilet, was vanished away with his wand. No solitary look of disgust ever crossed his handsome face. He remained only concerned, worried for her well-being.

"Are you feeling okay? That chicken last night tasted a little off, but I didn't think it was that bad."

It was tempting to go along with his fear that she had food poisoning for at least half a second. That would give them the chance to pretend a little longer that they were safe, but she was exhausted of lies and secrets. She picked up the letter off of the floor and pushed it into his hand.

"This was waiting for me on the windowsill. It was delivered some time during the night."

Craig grew even more worried than he already was as he read the short message. It was obvious he was furious too.

"How could he find this house? All of the wards and enchantments we used should've made that impossible."

An expert at casting security wards, Craig knew what he was doing. His work had never been called into question before.

"Do you think he knew I would go back to the manor so he waited to put a tracking spell on me? I felt odd when I was there at one point. Could it have been a spell?"

"Anything is possible with that bastard. I can check."

He cast a spell on her she didn't recognize. The man's knowledge of magic, especially the obscure, fascinated her and intrigued her more about him as a person. If she hadn't been so worried about the outcome of the spell, she would've asked him more questions. A slight tingling sensation went through her entire body starting from the part of her chest the spell first hit. She might have laughed at the tickling feel if it hadn't been so serious. Craig sighed, evidently frustrated.

"No, there's no tracking spell on you."

"You were there too. Maybe he's more concerned with finding you because he wants…"

Finishing that sentence in her current distraught emotional state was impossible. Even just thinking about Craig being dead was too difficult. It made her sad and guilty and angry all at once. If something happened to him, she would never forgive herself.

Craig cast the same spell on himself with the same result. Neither of them had a tracking spell. How Antonin was able to find them was just another infuriating mystery.

"We can't stay here any longer. Not until we figure out how he found us. Or until he's dead for certain."

Though she knew Craig was right and didn't have any desire to argue, an overwhelming sadness fell over her when he said they had to leave. That was her home. Already Antonin had ruined the home she loved. How did it keep happening? She would've cried if she had any tears left.

"Is this our lives now? Just running away and hoping our next hiding place will be better?"

There was little emotion in her tone. It sounded strange even to her own ears. Was she getting closer to the point of giving up entirely?

"This won't last forever, I promise."

"No, it won't. He's probably going to kill us both soon. Then it will all be over."

Craig was visibly upset by her blunt statement. Remembering it was dangerous to give in to those kinds of thoughts, whether true or not, Hermione cleared her throat and tried to act more like her usual self.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

He kissed the top of her head. At least he appeared slightly calmer.

"My cousin has a holiday cottage in the middle of nowhere we could probably borrow."

"No, I don't want any other innocent person getting caught up in this nightmare."

"She never goes there. Her husband only uses it a few times a year to go fishing. No one will be there."

It took some more convincing before she finally relented. She feared for anyone else who might try to help them escape from Antonin's wrath. Hadn't enough blameless blood been shed by the monster? Probably not in his mind. He wouldn't be satisfied until the whole world dripped red with it.

"It won't be forever. This can't last forever."

She knew he was only trying to calm her down, but it still frustrated her that their lives were so impacted by a single crazy person. It was all her fault too. Part of why she'd gotten so angry with Harry when Craig was in the hospital was because he wasn't wrong when he said she hadn't tried to discourage Antonin's unhealthy obsession with her. She hadn't. Maybe if she reported his letters and he was unable to keep sending them, he would've moved on to a different obsession. The 'what-ifs' were choking.

Before she left for the Ministry, Hermione packed a bag in anticipation of their fleeing her home. It was maddening. Why could he not just leave her home alone? Would he not rest until she wasn't safe anywhere ever again? She could feel her resolve fraying. Never had she been so exhausted in her entire life. Not even when she was freezing in a canvas tent on the horcrux hunt.

"I'll sort everything out with my cousin. I'll come to your office at the end of the day to take you there."

Craig pulled her into his arms for a lingering kiss goodbye. If they hadn't had responsibilities or had to worry about an unwelcome visitor popping in at any second to murder them, the kiss could've easily led to more. There was such strong chemistry between them it was something of a miracle they waited as long as they did to move their relationship past friendship. Of course if it had been left up to him to decide, they would've been together starting the night he kicked Antonin off the cliff.

Returning to the Ministry didn't make her feel even the tiniest bit calmer about her life. She didn't want to be there. Work hardly seemed important after discovering the letter on her windowsill. But maybe Craig was right about trying to live their lives as normally as possible to spite the lunatic. He kissed her again as she got out of the lift on her Level, never caring there was an audience of curious onlookers.

She approached her office with dread. Before New Years, she loved everything about her job. Could she ever hope to get back to enjoying what she used to? The only way that seemed possible was if she could figure out how to get rid of Antonin.

As always, a stack of new contract waited for her to review on top of her desk. What used to seem so interesting only months earlier nearly bored her to tears. Maybe Craig had the right idea walking away from being an auror when it stopped making him happy. There were plenty of other jobs that were more interesting she was sure. Did the Department of Mysteries need another Unspeakable? That would be fascinating. Working with Craig could have its benefits too. She had plenty of bad memories inside that department from fifth year he could help her replace with more enjoyable moments. What would it be like to be taken on every surface that could support their weight? It would certainly help improve her opinion about that corner of the Ministry.

She wasn't surprised to see another envelope laying on the middle of her desk. No, she actually expected it. How did he keep managing to get messages through? He had to have another ally inside the Ministry. Maybe the young wizard who delivered the post was supplementing his meager income with some of the Fawley galleons. Antonin's mother had plenty of them.

Before she dared to open the envelope, Hermione took a deep breath and sat down in her chair. Whatever the message said inside she knew she would be tempted to run out of the Ministry straight to the manor to confront him. She couldn't allow herself to give into to that urge. Not after she promised Craig the night before she wouldn't seek him out alone. Her hands didn't tremble when she opened the new letter. Whether or not that was a good sign, she didn't know.

No doubt your clever little mind is trying to figure out how I found your well-hidden and protected new home, but I don't like to reveal my secrets unless absolutely necessary. Tell your bear that he's good at security spells. He presented a challenge. But, I'm better. I'm looking forward to proving that once and for all.

The hateful letter was ripped into tiny little pieces only seconds after the first read-through. She didn't need to confirm what she read a second time. It was disgusting enough. Everything he wrote disgusted her. She never wanted to see another letter from him again. She never wanted to even think about Antonin again, but she knew she would never be lucky enough to experience that sort of blissful ignorance again. Her life was irrevocably changed for the worse as long as he still managed to walk the earth breathing. How did she ever find his letters amusing? It was all just one sick nightmare.

She tried to focus on the contracts. Something, anything that could distract her mind was better than nothing. It was a very long day. Every time anyone had the misfortune of needing to enter her office for one reason or another, she grew irritable. When she saw the wizard with the post again, she wanted to bind him to her chair and torture him until he told her just how Antonin was able to get letters into the supposedly secure Ministry of Magic. She somehow managed to refrain from cursing any of the poor souls forced to cross her path.

Some time at the end of the day, she really wasn't paying attention to the clock, a knock on the doorframe of her open door tore her out of her thoughts. They should have been focused on the latest report from the last Wizengamot session, but instead, all she could think about was another creative way Antonin could've found her house. Did he have more accomplices than she even realized still in the Ministry? Two people knew where she lived. Was it possible that in his anger towards her Harry let that piece of valuable information fall into the wrong hands? It was unlikely, though not entirely out of the realm of possibilities. She had been unpleasant to him for years.

"What?"

"Ooh, rough day?"

Craig stood in the doorway with a grin on his handsome face that he had absolutely no business wearing. She wanted to slap him and kiss him all at the same time. Recognizing that she was on the verge of losing her patience, the cheeky wizard stepped inside the office, closed the door behind him, and crossed the small space to sit on the edge of her desk.

"Sorry. Yes."

His grin slipped and his brow furrowed.

"You got another letter."

"Of course I did. It was waiting for me when I arrived this morning. Just sitting right here taunting me."

"You could've sent me a memo. I would've been here in a second."

Hermione sighed. Needing some reassurance, she stood up to allow him to easily pull her into his arms. Instantly she felt more at ease. It was amazing the effect he had on her. How selfish was she that she was willing to put his very life in jeopardy just for the security of his company?

"No, I can't keep bothering you with every little thing. You've just started your job. Your supervisor must hate me."

"Of course she doesn't. She understands that we are dealing with some special, extenuating circumstances. She even wondered if I should take a few days off and try again next week. I told her I didn't think that would be necessary."

He tightened his hold on her and kissed the top of her head. She would never get tired of that.

"Now, tell me what the bastard said to you. Obviously it upset you."

She didn't even need the letter to reference it to tell him everything that it said. One read-through and she had the essence of it memorized. Antonin was a man of few, but memorable words.

"He said that your wards were impressive. You gave him a challenge, but he was better. He also said he knew I was curious how he found my house, but he won't tell me."

"Arrogant arsehole."

It hurt his pride that the dark wizard bested his enchantments. Craig knew what he was doing when it came to ordinary threats and even the extraordinary. No one ever prepared him for the obsessive and insane Death Eater. Wanting to change the subject, he kissed her again and gently pushed her back so they could look in each other's faces.

"I settled everything with my cousin's husband. Lied and told him that I was having some plumbing repair done on my flat for a few days. He said that the cottage is mine for as long as I need it. His work has been too busy lately for him to take the time off to use it anyway."

"That's very generous of him. I'm worried that…"

Craig kissed her before she could complete her thought. She was glad. It wasn't as if he didn't already know what she feared. Repeating it over and over again was madness.

"It will be fine. It's secluded with no one around. We'll set up some wards before we even think about relaxing, I promise."

As much as she appreciated his attempts to make her feel better or more confident about their chosen hiding place, she couldn't shake the feeling deep in her bones that it wouldn't be safe. Every second they inhaled and exhaled they were in danger. How could anyone live with that kind of fear for any length of time without just cracking under the strain?

"Let's go now. I'm ready to get out of here."

There were no arguments from him. Craig simply took her hand and refused to relinquish his hold on her all the way through the Ministry. It meant more to her than she could really express that he wasn't ashamed to be seen with her in public nor that he was embarrassed by their relationship. Proudly, in front of the whole world, he proclaimed his loyalty. She wished she could be more like the Hufflepuff. Maybe she wouldn't have gotten herself into as many ridiculous, dangerous scrapes over the years if she'd been in his House.

Outside of the Employee Entrance, Craig pulled her closer to Apparate them both to his cousin's holiday cottage. Hermione wasn't even sure what part of the country they were headed. It didn't matter. She worried nowhere in the world was far enough away to keep out of Antonin's clutches.

"It's not much, but we can be comfortable here."

She loved it immediately. Tucked away amongst some tall trees, a simple cottage was the only structure she could see in any direction. A quiet lake, hardly larger than a pond, was close enough she could see the ripples in the water where the fish were on the move underneath the surface. He wasn't wrong about it being nothing much, but she didn't care. The setting was beautiful.

Just as he promised, Craig didn't waste any time at all before he began coating the immediate area in powerful security enchantments. Once a homenum revelio proved indeed there were no unwelcome intruders inside the same cottage, he cast spells over every single window and door. It was impressive watching him work. When she moved into her new house, Hermione helped him cast the wards on her home. While she learned a lot, she felt terribly ignorant. It was hard not to blame herself for not taking adequate precautions on her last house. She thought she had been safe. Antonin proved that she had grown too complacent.

At least two hours passed before Craig deemed it safe enough. She helped where she could. A final intruder spell was cast at the very end. There was no way that any human being would be able to get within fifty meters of the cottage without them knowing it. It helped calm her down a little that at least when Antonin inevitably discovered where they were, they would know about it before he could sneak up on them. Unless he knew how to dismantle the intruder alarm…

Hermione sighed. Where was all of her Gryffindor courage? It seemed that the older she grew, the less she was the girl she'd been when she was running into the Forbidden Forest with Harry or climbing in a trap door underneath a three-headed dog to unknown dangers. Everyone adapted and changed as they became adults. She knew that. It still upset her the angrier and more bitter she became.

"I need to go back to your house to get Sabrina. Will you be all right alone for a few minutes?"

Craig's question actually made her snort out a laugh.

"If you think I'm going to let you go there alone, you don't know me as well as I thought you did."

His smirk made her smile too.

"Fine. Let's hurry up though. I don't want to be there after dark."

Though it wasn't necessary to Side-Along Apparate him to a place he'd been countless times before, Hermione still grabbed his arm. It helped calm her nerves feeling his strong arm underneath her hand as she took them back to her house. She wanted him right next to her if there were any problems when they arrived.

There weren't. The house was silent and empty. It didn't even feel like it was no longer safe. Why would Antonin leave the note on the windowsill if could've just attacked them while they slept unaware that he knew they were there? His games were tiresome. Nothing he did was by accident. No doubt he spent whatever time he was forced to convalesce thinking up new ways to torture them.

"Sabrina!"

Craig only had to call out her name once to draw the fluffy cat out of her basket next to Hermione's fireplace. Completely at ease and not bothered at all, Sabrina's behavior reassured them both that Antonin hadn't returned while they were at the Ministry. Maybe he was done with his psychological torture for the evening. Or he was just waiting for them to come back.

"Let's not linger."

Craig agreed. After bending down to scoop up his cat in the crook of his left elbow, he offered his right to Hermione. All three of them were away from her house and in front of the cottage moments later.

"Ow! Fuck, Sabrina. Calm down."

The cat resented being forced into another long-distance Apparition for the second time in two days. Once their feet were on the ground she fought with her human to be let down. She darted off towards the lake in the distance when she was released. In the gathering darkness, Hermione lost sight of her at once.

"Will she be all right out here? Should we go after her?"

"She'll be fine. She likes to explore."

If Craig wasn't bothered, she decided she wouldn't be either. He knew his cat. Just like Crookshanks had when he was still alive, Sabrina craved adventure and she knew how to take care of herself. Her life was simple and Hermione hated how envious she was of the cat.

The rest of the evening was oddly pleasant. Even if they were unable to forget for a second that they were only in that cottage because a homicidal maniac wanted to murder at least one of them, she was glad that she was there with Craig. Alone, she might have gone completely mad.

"One of these days I'll actually prove to you that I know how to cook something other than eggs."

Hermione laughed as she cleaned up the rubbish left behind of their takeaway. The agreement had always been the person who provided the meal didn't have to clean. Imagining an evening in the future where she could watch the wizard cook her dinner made her happy. Was it possible they could somehow turn out normal after all?

"I don't mind the takeaway. You always know exactly what I want to eat. That's a valuable skill too."

His chuckle rang in her ear as he slid his arms around her waist from behind at the kitchen sink. Such an ordinary moment shared by ordinary couples. She could get used to it. And the soft kisses he placed on her neck too.

"I have plenty of other skills I'd love to show you."

"Oh really? Even better than cooking?"

"Much better."

Deciding that the dishes could wait for the next day, Hermione grabbed his hand to lead him into the cottage's only bedroom. After the stress of the day she'd endured, she wanted to be naked and on top of the handsome wizard. He was happy to oblige. Every time Craig touched her it just seemed to get better and better. The chemistry she knew existed long before he kissed her was explosive.

Neither of them knew what time it was when they had to stop to take a break. The bed was surprisingly comfortable. She was glad to snuggle up to his side. It was likely to always amaze her how different she felt being alone with Craig. With his right arm around her back holding her in place, he rested his left on his stomach. The deep scar on his forearm from the night she cut him with the knife was visible. His other wounds that night were so serious that his Healers considered the arm superficial enough that they basically ignored it at first. He could've chosen to use a potion to remove the scar tissue but didn't. Maybe he wore it as a badge of honor. Aurors, even former ones, could be funny sometimes. Her fingers traced the scar.

"I'm sorry about this."

Craig kissed her.

"Don't be. It was an accident while you were saving my life. I look at it and I remember how brave you were."

She snuggled deeper into his arms, content for the moment. How was it possible that he could forgive her over and over? She struggled to believe it. Was it real? Though she hoped so, she couldn't help but wonder if he really meant it when he said he forgave her for what she willingly did with Antonin. Some might call her a victim and maybe to a certain extent she was, but like Harry said in St. Mungo's, it wasn't as if she tried to discourage what happened.

"I wouldn't have stayed there forever with him in the manor. I was just scared of what he would do, scared of what I would find my life had become, scared that you hated me."

He tightened his arms around her and brushed his lips against her head.

"I've never hated you. I don't think I could hate you.'

"Then you're a remarkable man because I'll never understand how you don't. I've done so many awful things, hurt so many people who didn't deserve it. When I think about Oliver, I can hardly breathe."

For months, ever since she sold her house, she had been feeling immense pangs of guilt every time she thought about that poor wizard. He hadn't asked for any of what happened to him. All he was interested in was a date. She was the reason he was a ghost haunting her old house and she hadn't even been strong enough or brave enough to look at him. Nothing made her feel more like absolute rubbish than that. Her very presence in other people's lives brought them nothing but misery.

"You went temporarily insane. That's all."

Caught entirely off-guard by Craig's matter-of-fact statement, Hermione snorted. She looked up to see him smiling.

"Crazy people can't be held responsible for their actions when they're crazy. Therefore, you're innocent."

Even for being such a difficult and serious subject, he was able to make her laugh.

"I wish I felt as confident as you do."

"Give it time. I'll help you recover. You just need more positive experiences with someone more suitable."

In one deft move, he had her flipped onto her back with him hovering above her. She was glad he was able to make the dark moment a little lighter. His devilish grin made her laugh.

"I see. So your plan is to shag me to sanity?"

"I'm willing to try anything that works."

He was just getting started when the intruder alarm went off. Someone was too close to the cottage.