Things I Like:
Small children with magical sticks, vampires and the women who slay them, destroying gold jewellery (rings a specialty), sarcastic army doctors, sailors wearing ridiculous hats.

Things I Do Not Like:
Bonding exercises, having my wisdom teeth removed.

I accept bribes in cash form only. Checks will get you nowhere. I appear to be unable to write more than three hundred words on a story.

Profiles are lame.